House Hunting Season
"Thanks again for helping me out Millie." Lincoln thanked as he and the imp walked down the sidewalk. Sounds of gunfire, stabbing, and explosives going off in the background, "Blitzo was too busy entertaining his meal ticket and Loona is too hungover to help."
"Ain't no problem, boss!" Millie took out a dagger, "When it comes to huntin' I'm second to none!"
Lincoln gave her a look, "Uh, I think you're taking house hunting a bit too literal, Millie."
Millie gave him a smile and rubbed a finger along the edge of the blade, "Oh, having a weapon out and ready to use is a great bargaining technique. Trust me!"
"Okay, well, let's see what we can find..."
Lincoln groaned as he looked inside a bathroom for an apartment he was being showed, "Oh look, another carpeted bathroom...what's wrong with you people?"
The short balding demon with glasses pulled out a long list with a toothy grin, "How much time do you have?"
"Why is the BATHROOM the first thing I see when I open the door?" Lincoln asked.
"Pretty convenient right?" asked the beanstalk demon with shades and a gold tooth.
Millie was inspecting the bathroom, "Where's the toilet? There's just a hole."
"CONVENIENCE!"
In Pentagram City, Lincoln was looking over a room he was being showed in a place called "Happy Hotel".
Lincoln looked over at the landlord, "Okay Charlie, this place is perfect. What's the catch?"
Charlie smiled big, "There is no catch! You're free to stay as long as you like! Also, you have a neighbor named Angel Dust! I'm sure you two will get along great!"
Lincoln looked over, next to Charlie was Angel Dust. The sight of which made Lincoln recoil a bit, "Yeah...I think I'll look elsewhere..."
Lincoln and Millie walked around back in Imp City downtrodden, there was still sounds of gunfire, stabbing, and explosives going off in the background, "This is rough Millie, I knew Hell would be overcrowded but I didn't think I'd end up homeless."
"Aw, don't you say that boss! You're still staying with Blitzo and Loona, right?" Millie tried to give a half-hearted smile.
Lincoln shook his head, "You're saying that like it's better. Have you hung out with Blitzo much after work?"
Millie frowned, "No, not intentionally, he just sneaks into Moxxie and I's apartment frequently."
"I wonder if I could just live in the office...might be easier than trying to convince Imp landlords that I'm not going to just start blasting everyone." as Lincoln pondered this, a pipe bomb landed near his feet. He grabbed it and threw it in the general direction it came from.
"You brought that upon yourself, honey. Nobody's gonna forget about you rampaging throughout Imp City to get at Moxxie."
"Yeah, I know..." Lincoln took a seat on a curb.
"Well...living in the office doesn't sound like a bad idea. Or we could try going further away from Imp City."
"And make my commute more hectic? No thank you. How about we try to find some stuff to make the office livable?"
"Ooh! Furniture hunting!" Millie took out her negotiation dagger again, "Let's find some bargains!"
