The next morning Raven woke up to her phone buzzing from a text. Sleepilly groaning and rolling over, she squinted her eyes at the assaulting bright light and made out the words;
"When you're up, Robin and I are ordering some supplies if you want to come and look at some stuff for your room. I made waffles :)"
She rolled her eyes and pulled her quilt back over her head for a few minutes more before sighing and got out of bed. Leave it to Cyborg to bribe her with food to get her to come out.
Deciding to not change out of her pajamas, she gave her hair a quick braid, not really bothering to brush it. It looked more like a knot than it did a braid but she just shrugged and made her way to the main room. It was just Cyborg and Robin, she wasn't dressed to impress.
"There she is!" Cyborg beamed seeing his friend walk in.
"Good morning." Robin smiled.
Raven gave a nod of acknowledgement and made a beeline to the plate of waffles on the counter.
"Some have strawberries and some don't." Cyborg noted. "They all have chocolate chips though."
She gave another nod and put a few on her plate, a mix of both strawberry and not.
"Thank you." She said as she sat down next to Robin who had the laptop.
"Of course." Cyborg said with a gentle smile.
"How did you sleep?" Robin asked.
She shrugged indifferently. She slept, but not well. Still unfamiliar with his room and thoughts of the other day plaguing her mind.
"Well it sure looks like you were cozy." Robin teased upon her disheveled hair and still in her pajamas.
She rolled her eyes and took a bite of her waffle.
"I'm glad to see the waffles lured you out." Cyborg joked. He turned the laptop around for her to see and pointed at different points on the screen. "This is what we have already ordered and will come sometime in the next few days or has to be picked up in store."
Raven nodded following where he pointed, the items that were highlighted meant they were ordered and there were different symbols representing where they were coming from.
"We got most of the stuff to repair your room, but we figured you would want to pick out things like bookshelves and other furniture and decor."
"Are we still able to do the reading nook?" She asked, almost childishly timid.
"Of course!" Cyborg exclaimed. "It's not on the list yet because we weren't sure what all you wanted and didn't want to put words in your mouth. This is for you. Whatever you say goes."
"Ok." She said softly, not used to being the one to call the shots. There was some pressure, but it wasn't unwelcome.
"I'm going to go pick up the supplies for the floor and ceiling tomorrow if you would like to come and look at some things there."
"I don't know." Raven hesitated, not wanting to promise anything and then not go when the time comes. "We'll see."
"You don't have to go," Cyborg assured, "just wanted to extend the invitation if the mood strikes you."
A silence fell over them as Raven looked over the list, adding things here and there, and the other two sat there awkwardly twiddling their thumbs as they waited.
Occasionally Robin would look at the list to see what she added and noticed she seemed to be in thought. Suddenly he got a vivid image of a beautiful color. It wasn't quite blue, but not purple either. It reminded him of hydrangeas. He then saw a broken apart image of Raven's room, not quite what it used to look like, but similar, with that color on the walls.
"Do you want to paint your room?" Robin asked, trying not to sound too awkward.
Raven looked at him with a mix of shock, alarm, and then she realized. The bond. Right. She wasn't quite used to blocking her mind in that way and it was a bit of a startled surprise when she got images from him and when he got images from her. She mentally cursed herself at not keeping the barrier up.
"Maybe. I haven't decided."
"I think it'd look nice." Robin assured, realizing he just put her on the spot.
"Well, unless we still have the same paint somewhere from when we painted your room, it might be easier to paint it another color than trying to color match what's already there. And if I'm not mistaken, it was your room that we almost ran out of paint with so I'm not so confident on keeping it the same color. That is if you want random white patches on your walls."
"Well, ok then. I guess I'm painting it."
"They have paint at the store where I'm going tomorrow." Cyborg hinted.
"I don't know if I'll have the spoons to do it by then." Raven sighed and leaned back in her seat tiredly.
"There's no pressure. Just letting you know that that's an option."
"Thanks." Raven said and pushed the laptop back to him. "I had a thought about the bookshelf."
The rest of the day was seemingly normal. Beast Boy spent most of the day alternating between watching tv and playing video games, occasionally sitting in front of the fridge or pantry like something new would just appear. Cyborg and Robin mostly worked on the computer, looking over files and inputting the new claims and of course, lots of emails. Starfire bounced from friend to friend, taking great interest in what they were doing, even pointing out foods Beast Boy didn't notice on his last trip to the fridge. Raven, deciding to spend the day in solitude, tried to have a meditation session but ended up more uneasy as her mind didn't allow her to.
The birds met in passing in the hall when dinner was called, Robin coming from his office and Raven from his room. Robin tried to talk to her but she brushed him off, not in the mood.
"Friends!"
"Hey Rae! You're just in time for dinner."
Starfire and Cyborg greeted when they saw Robin walk in with the other bird.
She gave a nod in greeting, making her way to get some water passing Cyborg at the stove seeing what he made.
"It's stir fry." Cyborg said, seeing her glance at the pans. "Veggie for B, normal for us. There's some rice being kept warm in the microwave."
Raven nodded, taking that as her cue to take it to the table.
Starfire flew towards Raven and waited for when she put the bowl on the table before greeting her. "I have not seen you today. You are feeling better, yes?"
"Hey." She greeted, not really knowing how to answer the question and instead pulled out the "I'm fine" card.
"I am glad that you decided to join us! I know that this is one of your favorite meals."
Raven nodded and decided to claim her seat, even though they generally always sat in the same spot.
Robin chose to sit in front of Raven so he could watch for reactions easier which did not go unnoticed by her.
"Alright y'all! Dinner, is served." Cyborg announced as he placed the two bowls, veggies and meat stir fry, on the table. "Yo, B!" He shouted over to the couch seeing a green head turn from the tv. "Dinner."
"Aw, yes!" He exclaimed and tossed the game controller to the couch as he practically bounced to the table, sitting next to Robin.
Cyborg sat next to Raven and Starfire sat next to Beast Boy.
"So," Cyborg asked after handing out plates to everyone, how was y'all's day?"
"My day was joyous!" Starfire beamed, scoping herself a heaping spoonful of rice. "It was such a nice day today so I decided to take the Silkie on a walk after seeing all of you. There were many children playing and it was so nice to see them happy and playing."
"That sounds like a nice time." Robin smiled.
"How was your day?" Starfire asked.
"Busy." Robin replied, reaching for the meat stir fry. "Lots of paperwork, phone calls, nothing to be envious of."
"Yeah, it was quite annoying after a while." Cyborg agreed, having spent most of his day helping Robin with said paperwork. "What about you B? Rae?"
Raven shrugged, not really wanting to talk while also not having anything to talk about.
"Eh, it was fine." Beast Boy said through a full mouth."Played some video games, ate," he paused to think, "and yeah. That's about it."
"Seems like you had a relaxing day." Cyborg stated before he turned to Raven. "I'm sorry you didn't have a great day Rave."
"Like that's anything new." Beast Boy mumbled, shoveling another spoonful of food into his mouth.
"What did you say?" Cyborg asked, taken aback.
All heads turned to the green haired boy in shock and disbelief, knowing what he said but not wanting to believe those words came out of his mouth.
"I said, like that's anything new." He repeated louder.
Raven looked at him, meeting his gaze. She could have ripped him a new hole with the look she gave but didn't back down when he made a face back at her.
"See," Beast Boy gestured to her, "all the time with her. Nothing but glares, slaps, and mean comments."
"Beast Boy, stop." Robin ordered.
"Yeah man, you don't want to continue."
"Pft, or what? I'm going to get glared at? Oooo, so scary. It's not like it'd kill her to be nice for a chance. Or I guess not considering what happened the other day."
"Beast Boy!" Starfire gasped.
"What? We can't talk about it now? Well it happened. Get over it."
"Beast Boy, you need to stop. Now." Robin commanded.
"Fine. Whatever." He pushed the food around on his plate before he scooped some more on his spoon. "It's her fault anyway."
Raven murmured something incomprehensive as she abruptly stood up from her chair and left, not wanting to continue in the conversation.
"See. All she does is run and hide. Hope she doesn't find another person trapped in a book."
"You need to seriously fix your mouth." Cyborg glowered.
"We were all thinking it. She's creepy as hell."
'No, we were not." Starfire defended.
"I am going to leave." Robin declared, standing up and grabbing Raven's abandoned plate. "When I see you next, whenever that might be, you need to seriously rethink what you just said and apologize to her."
They watched as Robin left in search of Raven in silence.
"What?" Beast Boy asked when the other two looked at him.
"Dude," Cyborg shook his friend, not meeting his gaze, "that was completely uncalled for and unnecessary."
Raven tried not to run to refuge, too much of a princess thing to do, but her pace was definitely toeing the lines of speed walking and running as she fled to Robin's room. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes but she held them in, cracks in the lights overhead crunched from her emotional distress. She could feel her cheeks warm as she tried to understand and push away the feelings that were resurfacing, anxious to get away, trying to escape those feelings. Him.
When she closed the door behind her, glad to have a physical barrier, she kicked off her shoes, walked to the side of the bed facing the windows, and sank to the floor. Her hood was pulled up, the weight of it a familiar comfort, blocking out the unwanted noises and light as her back leaned against his bed, knees coming up to rest her head on.
Her hands came to rest at the bottom of her cloak, fingers playing with the fabric around her feet trying to put her focus on the blue fabric instead of the whirlwind of feelings rolling over her mind.
'He doesn't know what he's talking about.' Raven mulled giving a tug to the fabric. It wasn't all her fault. 'I did talk to him, that was stupid. What kind of mind was I in to listen to a talking book? And that I didn't once question anything.' Now that she thought of it there were so many red flags that the pages might as well have been red and waving at her.
She shook her head and made a noise of defeat as she buried her head in her knees.
Then, against her wishes, a knock at the door and the muffled swoosh as it slid open slightly.
"Can I come in?"
Robin.
"No."
"Well this time I am."
Raven grumbled in annoyance but knew that he was coming for some kind of explanation. That she would have to, ugh. She forcefully squeezed the fabric hearing him walk over.
A clunk on the nightstand. "I brought the rest of your food if you want it."
She wasn't hungry.
"Thank you."
Metal tips on his shoes pittered as he walked around the bed, stopping in front of her. They would have shone had the light been on.
"Are you ok?"
No.
She shrugged.
"Do… you want to talk about it?" He asked cautiously, not really knowing how to approach her at that moment but not backing down.
"Not really."
He sat down in front of her on her level.
She scoffed silently.
"I heard that."
A roll of violet eyes and her knees came down, just slightly. "What do you want?"
"I don't know." He admitted.
"Why are you here then?" She asked, getting impatient.
"I know something is going on, I don't know what, but I just want to know if you're ok or not."
He was met with silence and eyes that couldn't lift from the floor.
"You're not." It was more of a statement than a question.
"No." She said quietly, feet starting to slip from their position. Frustrated, she pulled her socks off, threw them non so gently beside her and crossed her legs.
Robin, under other circumstances, would have chuckled at the sight, but now, now he just felt an immense feeling of empathy for the obviously overwhelmed Titan.
Raven could feel that empathy, pity, rolling off of him in waves. It practically filled the whole room, suffocating any other feeling. But hers were stronger. And slowly, her anger rose to match his sympathy. Thankfully, he kept his mask on. Slowly he started to take it off around her, a result of their mind meld, but she was glad not being able to see those blue eyes full of emotion. She didn't want to see it.
"Do you need anything else?" She asked, an underlining of bitterness laced her tone.
"Well, I would like to know what's going on," her tone caught him off guard momentarily, "but if you don't want to talk about it, fine."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Why?"
She blinked in surprise. Normally whenever she said she didn't want to talk about something he dropped it and that was the end of that.
"Why?"
"Yes."
"Because."
"That's not an answer."
"Ugh," She scoffed, eyes narrowing dangerously, "Because, I don't want to talk about it."
"But why? Can you at least help me understand why?
"Why can't you just understand that I don't want to talk about it?"
"Because I know that this is something more than just the normal things you're going through. I can't explain it other than that I can feel how much this is impacting you. It's been in the back of my mind, and I know it's not mine, but your feelings. You don't have to tell me everything, but I want to know why you're hesitant to explain why you won't talk about it."
Silence.
"Does it make you feel embarrassed?" He asked, giving words that she could agree or disagree with. "Guilty? Sad? Depressed? Ashamed?"
"Yes." She said barely audibly.
"Yes to what?"
"All of it."
"Ok." Robin nodded slowly. "Do you want to explain the reasoning behind those feelings?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Will you at least come to me-us if you need anything? I don't want you to feel like you have to process this on your own."
"No promises."
Robin gave her a look.
"But I'll keep it in mind."
"That's all I'm asking." He wanted to reach forward and pull her into a hug, as if he could protect her from her thoughts. But instead he gave a soft smile and left.
