A/N: CW some mention of miscarriage and loss.
Chapter Eight
June 23rd, 2018
"What aren't you telling me?" Arizona squinted at Callie from the kitchen island.
"Nothing." Callie said suspiciously as she began to brew the coffee, she kept her back turned to Arizona.
"Nothing?" Arizona challenged.
Callie pouted, refusing to look back at her ex-wife who she knew was staring daggers at her. She had a hard time lying to her, and one look in Arizona's eyes with that little head tilt she does would cause Callie to word-vomit all of her opinions on the matter. She danced her fingertips on the chilly countertops.
"Callie…" Arizona warned as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Callie's nose crinkled as she examined her options. They had just woken up from their respective bedrooms and there was still sleep in her voice. It was so wonderfully low and almost coarse, just another thing Callie would have to fight to maintain her resolve.
"I just–" Callie sighed, she finally turned around, placing her hands palm-down on the island, finally face to face with Arizona. "I understand why you don't want to pull the trigger on New Jersey."
"You do?" Arizona raised an eyebrow at Callie as she puckered her lips just a little. They were slightly chapped and rosily pink. Callie noticed each detail a bit too attentively.
"I do, but–" She motioned with her hands, her eyes dropped down to the counter in front of her, she relaxed her head, dangling her head a bit.
"But what?" Arizona contested.
"But," Callie drew out slowly before stretching out her neck side to side and looking back up at her ex-wife. "Maybe you should think about it." She tilted her head to the side trying to offer sympathy.
"What is there to think about?" Arizona sat up in her stool.
Callie sighed loudly. She turned around and grabbed two mugs out of the cabinet. "It's a beautiful site with everything you could ever want." She said as she paused, placing the two mugs down on the counter.
"Callie…" Arizona warned with a low voice.
Callie huffed, beginning to pour the freshly made coffee into each mug. "You've toured so many sites and this seems to be the only one that is everything you need–"
"But, Callie–" she groaned.
"Arizona. I know. Just–"
"But–"
"Arizona, God! Will you let me talk?" She snapped. She took a centering breath before turning back to Arizona, her brown eyes meeting anxious blue with as much compassion as she could. "I think it's at least something to consider."
Arizona pouted.
"Or at least talk it through with Nicole and Addison." Addison was flying in that day to help consult for the Robbins-Herman Clinic and to work out some ideas with a fellow neonatal surgeon.
"Fine."
Callie simpered softly, narrowing her gaze on the blonde.
"What?" Arizona asked indignantly.
"Have you ever been to Central Park?" Callie asked with a smirk over her shoulder as she reached for the creamer from the fridge.
Arizona raised an eyebrow at her.
"Would you like to go during lunch today with Sofia?" Callie filled a decent amount of Arizona's mug with the milky liquid before sliding it over the counter to her.
"Why are you trying to change the conversation?" Arizona said as she cautiously took the mug from Callie.
"Do you really want to hear my opinion?" Callie raised a narrow brow.
"I already know your opinion." Arizona said under her breath before taking a lackadaisical sip of her coffee.
"So, Central Park?" Callie asked with a tilt of her head after a pregnant pause.
Arizona let out a surprised laugh.
"Your meeting with Addison and Herman is on Monday, let's spend today as a family." Callie said plainly before nursing on her own drink.
"And I still have a surgery this afternoon."
"Hence why I suggest Central Park for lunchtime." Callie squinted her eyes playfully.
"Alright. I guess you're not done showing me around the city?" She questioned.
"Not even close, Robbins." Callie said with a low voice before hiding a sly smirk behind her coffee mug.
After a few moments, Arizona made her way upstairs to wake up Sofia for the day. She sat at the foot of her bed before lightly rubbing her hand over her daughter's arm. She couldn't take her eyes off of her, becoming overcome with love.
"Good morning, baby." Arizona smiled largely at her little girl.
"Good morning, Mama." She yawned.
Sofia woke up with the biggest smile on her face. The same smile as her mother, Arizona couldn't help as it tugged at her heart to see the joy that was restored in her little girl's life.
Despite everything, Sofia was still in such a loving household with two loving parents. She was still happy despite all the drama and heartache.
Do you have any idea how happy our baby would be?
It echoed in Arizona's mind. She shook a little as she flinched at the memory. She couldn't remember the last time she thought of that and she had no idea why it perpetrated her mind.
"Are you okay, Mama?" Sofia asked with a soft, sleepy voice.
"Mhm, I am." She smiled sadly.
"You're crying." She scrunched her forehead.
Arizona jumped, she reached up to her face, and to her surprise, she found a few stray tears. Her child was right in front of her, taking on more of the emotional responsibility than she should've been.
"Are you sad?" She asked, concerned.
"I'm just feeling really lucky to have such an amazing little girl." She smiled.
Arizona smiled sadly as she couldn't fight her mind as it kept reminding her of the loss of their second child. Every now and then, it invaded her mind. Along with everything else, every other puzzle piece of trauma, that loss, her miscarriage, seemed to always be involved in one way or another. In this moment looking at her daughter she couldn't help but imagine a little sibling tucked into bed with Sofia because they couldn't stand to be away from their big sister or that they got so excited in the morning to go snuggle with their sister. Maybe it wouldn't have triggered every other awful event that ensued.
"Can I give you a hug?"
"I would love that, baby girl." She smiled as she gently hugged Sofia. Sofia patted Arizona's back affectionately while she looked perplexed examining her mother's face once they pulled back.
That little voice in her head, Callie's voice, was haunting. She couldn't help but think of everything they had planned together and everything that fell through the cracks. Sofia was returning to her normal happy self, but it was after so much pain that Arizona's heart ached in guilt.
Some days, that loss was all Arizona could think of. As she spent her time saving other women and their babies, she couldn't help but have this gnawing in the back of her mind, that this would never be her story.
"I wish you lived here, Mama." She whined softly.
Another part of Arizona's heart broke. Maybe Sofia wouldn't have had to go through all of this. She might not have been a child of divorce, she never would have to experience what she experienced. She would've been able to grow up with her mom's both present in her life.
"I know, baby." She didn't know what else to say. She just tried to smile to hold back any more stray tears.
It was such an idealistic life and she couldn't help but think this cascade of their pretty little pink bubble was at the sole hand of Arizona.
"Maybe one day." Sofia resolved sadly.
Her marriage, her second baby, her leg. They were all gone. Above all, her heart shattered at the thought of what all of this had done to her daughter. She loved her more than anything and would give her life for her daughter, and yet, every action seemed to put her in a disadvantage. It was such a giant demon to face and often was so much easier to ignore. Guilt was a hard foe to confort, however.
"Maybe." She tried to smile, Sofia smiled back hopefully.
That little smile and her exuberant kindness was healing, in a way. Maybe Sofia was okay despite everything and maybe things were changing for the positive this time.
"Oof, I am so full." Sofia whined as she walked sluggishly between her mothers. She rested her hand over her tummy causing both her mothers to laugh at the small gesture. They had just enjoyed a nice meal at a small restaurant in Central Park that was generally uneventful.
"I told you we could've gotten some of it to go,." Callie chided with a smile.
"But it was so good…" Sofia whined, stumbling a little on her feet.
"Careful, little miss!" Arizona reached out and grabbed Sofia's extended hold to help her balance.
Sofia looked back with widened eyes, as if she surprised even herself with her little stumble. Callie let out a surprised laugh.
The three of them continued to walk until they found a rather grand-looking fountain.
"It's no Kerry Park, but it is a pretty view." Arizona mused, smirking particularly at Callie.
"What's that, Mama?" Sofia shrugged.
"It's a park back in Seattle, baby." She smiled at her two girls. "Mami and I would go there for lunch sometimes. We brought you there when you were littler."
Sofia nodded, losing interest quickly, getting distracted by the roaring noises from the fountain. She pulled her Mama by their interlocked fingers over to the edge of the basin. Callie followed close behind, neither her nor Arizona's eyes ever left their daughter and her growing smile.
The three of them sat on the built-in bench on the edge with Sofia in the middle, her eyes mesmerized by the jumping water.
Callie and Arizona's attention bounced between their daughter and each other.
Sofia started to reach downward in an attempt to feel the cool water for herself. She gasped in surprise as she started to wobble and tip.
"Woah!" Callie exclaimed before quickly grabbing Sofia's leg and pulling her back toward solid land. Callie and Arizona's mini-heart attack subsided as Sofia giggled with embarrassment. Callie shook her head with a forced laugh and ruffled the top of Sofia's head gently.
"How about we move away from the fountain then, baby girl?" Arizona suggested with a contorted brow.
When they stood up, Sofia reached back and grabbed her Mama's hand once more, to which Arizona readily accepted before bringing her other hand to interlock with Callie's behind Sofia's field of view.
When they sat down on a bench further away, but facing the fountain, Sofia launched off the running and skipping around, although under the more careful and watchful eye of her mothers. Whenever she strayed too far, they would yell out a quick "Sofia!" to which she would look over with the cutest bashful yet mischievous look on her face.
The two women just stared in awe at their daughter. This kid was more than resilient, and she was their entire world.
Callie gently moved her arm around to the back of the bench behind Arizona, her hand coming to rest on Arizona's shoulder. Arizona didn't blink an eye at the small show of affection, it's what felt comfortable. She just smiled instead. They paused and continued to watch Sofia, with the additional comfort of each other's embrace.
"She's happy." Arizona noted softly, finally being able to relax just a bit further. She let her head fall heavily until it came to rest on Callie's shoulder.
"She is." Callie smiled, when she saw that Sofia was plentifully distracted she leaned over and delicately kissed Arizona's forehead. "She's happy." She reassured.
"Are you happy?" Arizona lifted her head to look Callie in the eye. Their faces were so close together and she could feel the rising and falling of Callie's chest turn shallow and fast.
"More than I've been in a long time." She said with full sincerity.
Arizona smiled tightly, her eyes going back over to her daughter. "I've been so worried about her. With everything she's been through…" she drifted off, most of those things were the result of her actions or the actions of both of her parents. "She's an incredible little girl."
"Arizona?" Callie asked softly, her voice was so low it felt like practically a purr.
The hairs on the back of Arizona's neck stood on end, her eyes widened.
"Are you happy?" She asked quietly. Callie had this way of speaking to Arizona in a way that made her melt, she could believe every word that she said, she was a sucker for anything that came from that beautiful mouth of hers.
"In many ways. I'm getting there." Arizona smiled softly.
Callie smiled, but she felt puzzled. Maybe she had lost the ability to so seamlessly read her ex-wife. Maybe Arizona wasn't okay, and in these slew of sacrifices she was making for their family, she had suffered and that was more than an unbearable thought for Callie.
June 25th, 2018
"Callie's here?" Addison asked.
"I wanted to sit in." She raised her shoulders. "I've never built a clinic from scratch before."
Arizona smiled a little too long at Callie, a few dimples invited themselves to the party. Addison's eyes widened at the reaction.
Callie rolled her chair a little too close than typical friends would. Her hand reached out and grabbed Arizona's, her fingers felt so warm and familiar. She rested her head on her other hand and watched Arizona in awe. She could watch this sight for the rest of her life and be more than content.
It was a lawyers day. Legal jargon upon jargon had their eyes glazing over with boredom and confusion. It went in one ear and out the other. Each state apparently had different regulations and so the likely site in New Jersey brought on an onslaught of new legal hurdles.
Callie wrapped the top of her foot slightly around Arizona's shin and unconsciously started rubbing her leg slightly.
Arizona was nervous. Especially given the new developments which she was anxiously fighting to admit was a sane choice. She smiled to try to hide how she felt, she looked over at Callie who looked at her with such adoration and that gave her just enough confidence to keep going. Callie's presence and comfort gave her the reassurance she so needed and desired.
She was so used to going at things alone and she had grown to like it that way. Sure, she had a few short romances, but the major life decisions were all up to here. She had friends and girlfriends that would listen to her, but it wasn't since her marriage she felt so safe by someone's presence alone.
Callie was in nothing but awe of Arizona. She couldn't pay attention to what was being said and honesty didn't understand half of the lingos the fancy lawyers used. She didn't care. Being next to Arizona made her feel calm and at the same time reassured that Arizona was okay. She brushed her thumb lightly over Arizona's hand, grateful she hadn't let go yet.
As Arizona spoke she looked around the room briefly. She caught Addision's eyes fixated on hers with a disappointed snarl of her lips. Callie brushed it off completely, maybe Addison wasn't looking at her, per se, or maybe there was another perfectly good explanation. She flinched a little before returning her attention to Arizona.
Intrusively, she couldn't help worrying that what if Arizona's isn't okay? What if this is all an act and underneath she's crumbling? What if Callie could help her feel better but Arizona wasn't letting her in? She knew she had gotten good at hiding how she felt from her ex-wife.
"You're super impressive." Callie smiled largely at Arizona as the meeting concluded after about an hour.
Arizona smiled back softly, realizing their fingers had been interlocked the entire time.
"I'm gonna go brag about you." She smiled with a light squeeze of her hand.
Callie pouted her lips as she contemplated her next actions. She wasn't sure if this was right, but she truly needed to find out if Arizona was okay. Arizona could put up such a front with Callie that she worried she was actually missing everything. She needed reassurance that she was okay.
"Nicole?" Callie asked hesitantly, motioning awkwardly as she walked closer to the older woman just outside of the conference room.
"Dr. Torres." Nicole responded.
Callie tucked her head down at her informality. "Please, it's just Callie… Dr. Herman." She bounced in her shoes.
"I guess you've heard more about me than you've actually spoken to me." She twitched her eyebrow.
"Something like that." Callie nodded awkwardly.
"That Robbins' sure got a mouth on her." She joked, earning a laugh that Callie exaggerated just a bit too much, her last chuckles drifting out into the void.
"I guess you may call me Nicole." She finally said stiffly.
"Right, so umm…" Callie stuttered.
"God, Callie, just spit it out, you're leaving me hanging."
Callie widened her eyes and looked around the room. "Okay, uh." She said frantically. "Just thank you for doing the clinic in New York, or uh, at least nearby, possibly."
Nicole furrowed her brow and stuck her palm out, waving it around. "Okay?" She said with incredulity.
"Just thank you, I guess." Callie hesitated. Silence lingered as Callie searched her memory for the right words, which must've been hidden in a back room where all knowledge of the English language goes whenever she's in front of a crowd. "My daughter–our daughter, Sofia, is so much happier with Arizona here, so thank you for that."
"Okay." Nicole said awkwardly. "Look, your daughter's happiness is not because of me."
"No," Callie conceded. "But now Arizona and Sofia are both happy, so… I'm happy."
Nicole just nodded, still confused why Callie even started talking to her in the first place.
"She is happy, right?" Callie laughed politely, but her voice was insecure. "Arizona, she's okay?"
"Aren't you a concerned ex-spouse?" Nicole teased.
"Um, well, I just–" Callie muttered.
"Well she's annoyingly enthusiastic and optimistic, which is different for her lately."
"She's happy." Callie smiled.
"Since when are you concerned about a woman to whom you are no longer married?"
"Since it affects the wellbeing of my daughter." Callie said quickly and defensively, her tone a little too harsh and volume a little too loud. She peeked through the little window in the door to make sure Arizona had not overheard the two women.
Nicole stood there and just pursed her lips. "Torres, she's going to be saving women and babies and teaching, albeit not as good as me, but she's good. She smiles all the time, all the time."
Callie squinted at Nicole.
"You can hear it in her voice. Like an annoying buzz."
Callie laughed, again her laughter lingering just a tad too long for comfort.
"Well, thanks, I'll see you around– umm," Callie bit her tongue.
"You can stop stuttering, Torres."
"Right, thanks, Nicole." She stumbled.
"She's quite incredible, isn't she?" Arizona asked dreamily, her head lost in space somewhere.
Addison smiled tightly.
Arizona's smile was so big, her dimples were as deep as Addision had ever seen them.
"She is." Addison agreed, nodded slightly, her mouth was so stiff.
That look that Callie had in her eye when she watched Arizona kept invading Addison's mind. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, she couldn't believe what they were doing. After everything, one of her friends was putting herself back into a situation in which she has been deeply hurt before.
Addison nodded awkwardly again before she was saved by her pager.
Arizona just stood there in a daydream, all of which consisted of Callie. It was all Callie.
"Where's Arizona?" Addison asked.
"She got held up in surgery." Callie said as she plated her and Addison's plates later than evening back at Callie's apartment.
"That's too bad." She paused awkwardly and just watched as Callie began to shovel food into her mouth.
"What?" Callie muffled through her food and was assaulted by Addison's disappointed look.
"What are you doing, Callie?" Addison asked with a raised eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" Callie asked, pushing her food around on her plate with her fork.
"With Arizona." Addison put down her fork and sat back in her chair.
"We're coparenting?" Callie asked.
Addison narrowed her gaze on Callie, causing her to shrink down into her chair. "Are you back together with her?" She asked blatantly.
"No!" Callie shook her head a little too hard.
"So what are you doing?" She asked honestly.
"I don't know what you're asking." Callie deflected.
Addison brought her glasses to the tip of her nose. "Are you sleeping with her?"
"No, God no!" Callie shuddered. Although the idea of sleeping with Arizona did stir something within her, it just wasn't going to happen. Their relationship had very strict unspoken parameters, they could be coparents and coworkers, and even friends, but anything more than that was completely off the table.
"Callie, why were you in the meeting this morning?"
"I wanted to see!" Callie poured defensively.
"You were holding her hand." Addison frowned.
Callie's mouth fell open. "She's my ex-wife." She tried emphasizing the ex.
Addison nodded. "That's why I'm asking what the hell you are doing, Callie."
"She's my friend now, Addison." She scolded.
"You've got her calling you incredible." She whispered with a frown after a pregnant pause.
Callie tried to hold back her breath from speeding up. "Is that really such a bad thing?" She sighed out breathlessly.
Addison groaned. "Callie…"
Callie laughed uncomfortably. "Addison…"
"The way you were looking at her…" She shook her head.
Callie didn't move a muscle, she didn't know what to say or what she even could say.
"Why am I not staying in your guest room, Callie? I know it's because that's practically Arizona's room at this point."
Callie tucked into herself. "It's better for Sofia." She said meekly.
"Oh, sure." Addison squinted.
"It's easier for her if she can just watch Sofia here and I'm closer to the hospital, and–" Callie rambled off her excuses.
"So what the hell are you doing, Callie?" Addison asked harshly this time.
Callie glared back.
"I'm just saying, you need to figure out what you're doing and fast, before anyone gets hurt."
"We've already hurt each other." Callie snapped.
Addison scoffed. "Does that make it okay?"
Callie scowled back at her friend. "Addison–"
"No, Callie." Addison said sternly. She gave Callie a disappointed look. "You need to maintain your distance, before either one of you gets seriously hurt again."
Addison paused for a minute, she shook her head thinking of the two's tumultuous history.
"Mark would've kicked your ass for what you did to her." Addison remarked.
Callie's heart sank before shooting, "He would've kicked her's, too."
Addison tilted her head. "True, but then he would've kicked yours."
Callie opened her mouth to speak before closing it once nothing came out to defend herself.
"You tried to take away her baby, Callie." Addison shuddered.
"She's my baby, too." Callie whimpered.
"But that doesn't mean she's not her's as well." Addison said sadly.
Callie sat there quietly, Addison's words hitting her deeply.
"Haven't you gone through enough together?" She squeaked.
Callie scoffed.
"Why the hell were you looking at her like that?" She pleaded, not being able to let go of that look she saw from Callie.
Callie bit her lip, her eyes dropped to the floor. "Addison…" she warned.
Addison raised an eyebrow to challenge Callie's response.
"I know her, Addison." She smiled softly behind sad eyes. "Like I really know her. Do you know the last time I remember feeling like this? That I have an adult who just gets me?" She cried.
Addison watched patiently. Callie began to pace.
"I feel like I can breathe around her." She smiled smally, thinking about Arizona.
"Callie." Addison warned.
"Addison!" She scolded back. "I'm happy now. I'm happy with our relationship or friendship–whatever– and so is she so it's not really your place to judge." She scoffed.
"What is this relationship?"
Callie cocked an eyebrow.
"What are you doing?" Addison narrowed her glare on her friend.
"We're existing, Addison." She sighed loudly. "If that means we're an affectionate friendship, then so be it." She groaned. "I don't see any issue with what we are doing."
"Hey!" Callie smiled as she unlocked and opened the door for Arizona.
"Hey, Callie." Arizona said smiley as she walked into Callie's apartment. Arizona leaned into Callie expecting her usual hello hug or forehead kiss but Callie awkwardly leaned away. Callie felt incredibly stiff. Arizona looked up with a squint in her eyes at Callie, Calie just looked away and fidgeted with her hands.
After an awkward pause, Arizona moved away from her ex-wife. "Hi, Addison." She said politely, looking over at the woman on the couch.
Addison smiled and nodded politely.
Arizona sat her purse down on the counter and walked over to the couch with Callie, Callie keeping much more of a distance than she usually would as of late.
There were a few awkward moments in silence where Addison tried to just observe the situation.
"I think I should get going." Addison forced out a yawn as she stood up.
"Really?" Callie followed as Addison walked toward the door.
"Uh, yeah, it's getting late." Addison nodded as she collected her things.
"Well, it was nice to see you, Addison." Arizona smiled.
Addison smiled before hugging Callie and shuffling out the door.
"What was that?" Arizona scrunched her brows.
Callie felt more than guilty. Arizona scooched closer to her on the couch.
"You're being weird." Arizona said flatly with downturned brows.
"What? No!" Callie brushed off.
"Yeah, you are." Arizona said stiffly, her eyes examining Callie's face, a reaction she hadn't seen in a while.
"No, I'm not." She said with a huff.
"Callie." She warned with a raise of her brow.
Callie widened her eyes and looked around the room.
Arizona gave her a more pointed look.
"Okay, fine." She huffed.
"Why are you being weird?" Arizona asked. She reached out to comfort Callie by rubbing her back, she flinched back slightly.
"Okay, what is going on?" She grilled.
"Nothing, I am being normal."She said with widened eyes.
"You flinched when Addison was here too, but now she's not here and you're still flinching away from me." She stated, backing up a little.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Callie's eyes roamed around the room.
"Callie." She said softly.
Arizona stuck her hand out, palm up. Callie looked down at her hand before looking back up to her piercing blue eyes.
"Will you hold my hand?" Arizona asked softly, trying to soften her demeanor to get Callie to open up to her.
Callie tilted her head at her. "This is silly."
"Callie." Arizona scolded.
Callie slowly placed her hand delicately on Arizona's. She looked back up to share a look with Arizona.
"See, it's just me." She whispered with a smile
Here this woman was in front of her. With everything they had been through together, she still sat across from her and made something flutter within her stomach. She couldn't stop thinking about Arizona calling her incredible. Maybe, just maybe, Addison was lying or exaggerating, she tried to brush it off. It made her far too excited. Her face flushed at the thought of the miraculous woman in front of her calling her incredible after all that pain and all those years.
"It's me, Callie." She whispered again.
"Arizona." Callie cried, there was a level of pain and heartbreak in her voice.
She wanted nothing more than to reach out and kiss those soft lips. Those satiny soft lips that taste like candy.
Without better judgment, she reached out behind the back of Arizona's neck and began to pull her closer.
"You're the only thing that makes me feel sane, right now, Callie." She admitted. She fell further, resting her head heavily on Callie's shoulder. Her voice was flustered.
Callie couldn't help caressing the back of Arizona's head, letting the blonde locks tangle just a bit between her fingers.
"Are you okay?" She cooed softly.
"I ended up doing a fetal tracheal occlusion on a 24 week gestation, and I lost them both." She choked.
"You can't blame yourself, Arizona." She cooed softly, her fingers ran soothingly through her hair. "That diagnosis is grim to say the least."
"For the baby. Mom coded on the table." She said softly. "I thought I could help."
"And you tried, you did the absolute best you could."
After a few moments, she pulled her knees up to her chest and slowly shifted so that her entire side was pressed up against Callie's and the other against the back of the couch.
What Addison had said had not left Callie's mind.
You tried to take her baby away.
Haven't you gone through enough together?
Do you know how happy our baby would be? Another thought intruded her mind.
They had gone through so much the two of them. Thinking about this loss of a fetus today, they couldn't help but think of the miscarriage Arizona suffered. It hit both of them so hard, another nail in a coffin that proved to crack their relationship instead of mend.
But they knew each other. They had each other in their darkest of darkest moments. Callie felt such a responsibility that Arizona was opening up to her in the way she used to.
"Callie?" She asked after a few minutes of silence.
"How are you able to forgive me?" Callie asked insecurely, her hands ceased their movement.
Arizona raised her eyebrows slightly, sitting up and turning to look Callie in the eye. "Were you able to forgive me?" Was all she could say.
Callie sat there quietly, it was still so difficult knowing she cheated on her right in front of her.
"For everything?" She asked insecurely, her voice was so small. She couldn't help but still feel guilty for everything she had done, but as well as the uncontrollable loss of that little life that they never got to love in the way they should have been allowed to.
Callie bit her lip. She grounded herself as she felt Arizona's warmth and part of her weight on her. "Yes." She whispered. "I have." She placed a light kiss on the top of Arizona's head. Her heart broke at Arizona's tone.
"What about now?" She asked softly. "Are we okay now?"
Arizona wrapped her fingers around Callie's hands who had suddenly tensed up. "Are you okay now?" She nodded down to their interlaced fingers.
"Mhm." Callie nodded with a small smile.
"It's nice to have someone." Arizona admitted softly, her eyes tracing the hem of the neck of Callie's shirt . "I'll be there for you, Callie." She whispered, her other hand coming up to trace what her eye had been lining for a few moments.
Callie's breath hitched as Arizona's fingers skated above her skin. "I'll be there for you, too." She sighed with content. She squeezed Arizona's hand tightly in hers and relished in the feeling of Arizona's body snuggled up against hers.
