Chapter Ten
July 1st, 2018
This little apartment was a miserable place. Well, truthfully it was a nice apartment and it was fine for Arizona, but the fact that, in this moment, she felt it confined her, truly made it miserable. She recused back into her apartment and spent her time mindlessly reorganizing and redesigning the space that left little to be desired.
She sat at the kitchen island trying to catch up on the mountains of work and clinic emails she had gotten, but her mind kept drifting away from her laptop. It had been a couple days since she had seen Callie. She was able to have Sofia over at her apartment for a couple times, she strategically picked her up from daycare so she would avoid seeing Callie. Sofia seemed less full of light than she had for the past month when Arizona would stay with the two of them at Callie's apartment. She knew what it was and it was killing her to know she wasn't fixing everything to make her daughter happy. Sofia was back at Callie's apartment so here Arizona was, all alone.
Over the few days of avoiding Callie at work, she sat alone at lunch or just skipped completely or resorted to going off campus. She missed Callie, there was a hole in her life that she didn't realize was still there until it picked her and her daughter up from the airport one month ago.
Arizona's mind raced faster than she could process what she was feeling. How had everything gotten so out of hand? She had barely been there for a month and yet she felt she had already fallen back into old habits. She couldn't help it. Her favorite habit's name was Callie Torres and she made it so irresistible to let herself relax with her.
The ball was in her court, and it felt as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. She was terrified of making the wrong choice. Deadlines for a decision of the clinic were approaching faster than she'd like, she was trying to establish herself in a foreign hospital, and Callie was once again in her life and she felt more confused than ever.
This apartment wouldn't feel so small if she had Callie and Sofia with her. Callie filled up a space like no other and lit up Arizona's world with so much as a smile. Sofia filled her with so much joy and pride, with the two of them, she was more than fulfilled. It felt better with Sofia, she felt she could exhale at least, but she didn't feel fully satisfied with her phase of life. It all came back to her girls, everything else could crumble, but if she had them, she knew she would be okay.
She felt so delusional. She couldn't just stop daydreaming about her ex-wife. She couldn't see anything holding them back, she was so utterly blinded. She was so utterly hopeful.
Truthfully, Callie wasn't hers.
Her mind was doing gymnastics trying to grasp her options in front of her and trying to sort out her own feelings. It felt like Callie was hers and she was Callie's, she had always felt like that. She felt this indescribable connection to the brunette that hadn't faltered while everything else around them and the ground beneath them crumbled.
Looking for some stability, her eyes locked on a medium sized plant perched on her kitchen island. She pouted out her lips. Why in the world she thought buying a random plant would be a good idea was beside her. Arizona was not good with plants. She bought it in a moment of desperation and a need to be able to control something. She could water a plant, or try to at least, but seemingly everything else was outside of her control.
It was a philodendron, apparently. It gave her the smallest morsel of control, but it plagued her even more. More and more it felt like she was making decisions that seemed so out of place.
At the same time in her own apartment, Callie was mulling over each agonizing detail of every interaction she had with Arizona in the month she had moved here. How had she gotten to the point of delusion that she was so jealous at the possibility of Arizona sleeping with another woman? She could brush it off, saying it was all Arizona's fault, she cheated on her even when they were committed to each other, why wouldn't she if they weren't even committed to each other? Except, it wouldn't be cheating, but it still felt like a dagger in her chest.
She had a whole life with Arizona. They have a family together. Now, Callie has gone and made it all awkward. She had gotten to the point of small physical affections yet now she was at risk of losing it all. She had practically asked her to move in again. Oh, my God. She thought. I asked my ex-wife to move in with me. What was I thinking? She scolded herself.
She felt bad for how she had accosted Arizona, but as she explored her feelings on the matter, she really didn't regret asking in the first place. It let her breathe a little, maybe just long enough.
She still missed Arizona. It was an aching in her chest that she could feel alleviate when she was around her. She filled her with warmth, yet with so much hesitation.
July 2nd, 2018
The next day, Arizona had lost her streak of successfully avoiding Callie. She had thought she would be able to go at least one day more, she was on call and hoped she would be able to have a true day of rest and allow her body to catch up with her mind in terms of a certain someone in her life.
Arizona pursed her lips as she rode in the elevator down to OR. She had been called in as a peds surgeon on an ortho case, which meant Callie.
She quietly came into the scrub room and tied on her mask before beginning to scrub in. Callie huffed dramatically once she turned on the faucet.
"Okay, uh, we need to set some ground rules." She said without looking up.
"Rules?" Arizona raised an eyebrow.
"We need to be civil, obviously, for Sofia's sake, but–"
"Civil?" She asked.
"Can you not handle civil?" Callie retorted sharply.
"Do you need to be civil?" Arizona scoffed, she paused as she tried to digest what Callie was saying, or rather what it implied.
"Excuse me?" She shot.
"You have to line out rules on how to treat me civilly?"
"I need to be able to trust you in there." Callie said flatly, still not looking at Arizona.
Arizona scoffed. "You can't even handle working with me?"
Callie shook her head with a sigh, "No, it's just, this is a kid, it needs to go well, it–"
"Callie." She scolded. "Don't you think I'm aware it's a kid that might end up as an amputee for the rest of their life?" She with widened eyes, motioning down to her leg. Callie had finally looked over at her.
Arizona had stepped away from water and held her hands up about the sterile field.
"Do you not trust me?" Arizona asked softly, taking a small step closer to Callie, trying to force Callie to let her in.
"I do, it's just–"
"Are you sure about that?" Arizona gave her a stern look, she tilted her head forward, her same mood when Sofia was misbehaving. "You looked like you'd rather have a resident assist than me." She stormed out of the scrub room and began getting prepped.
"Arizona." Callie groaned behind her before being met with silence. She resolved to maintain her distance for now.
"Scalpel." They said in unison, both sticking out their palm face up once they flanked the table.
The scrub nurse looked with a furrowed brow between the two of them.
"I'm on the attending side, Dr. Torres." Arizona argued, putting emphasis on Callie's name.
"And I'm an orthopedic surgeon." She motioned her head toward the patient. "This is my patient."
Arizona bit her lip and nodded her head. "I forgot ortho people are so particular about opening." She said stiffly.
Callie rolled her eyes and opened her palm once again to which the scrub nurse placed a 10 blade in her palm.
Fed up with how Callie was treating her, she poked, "Make sure you–"
"I am aware, Dr. Robbins." She said flatly, her eyes never leaving the patient once she began.
Arizona pouted, her hands idle in the air.
Arizona chimed in with suggestions every couple minutes, not being able to help herself since she knew it would irritate her ex-wife, and any irritation was attention from her.
"Don't forget to–"
"Will you shut up?" She finally snapped with a stern voice.
"Will you?" She fired back with widened eyes.
"Arizona." Callie squeezed her eyes shut tightly before looking dead in her eyes. She spoke softly, "We have a patient open on the table, a kid, can we not do this now?" Please. She mouthed silently.
Arizona pouted underneath her mask.
They held eye contact.
They were able to communicate everything they had been holding back from each other. Callie's eyes softened when they saw the hurt in Arizona's eyes and Arizona released her tense hold of brow, her shoulders shrugged away from her ears.
When they were married, they could communicate with a glance alone. Their feelings, plans, and annoyances were all given away with a mere look. Arizona nodded.
"I do trust you." More than anything. Callie whispered looking back down, She hoped Arizona would be the only one to hear her.
Arizona's heart fluttered and she felt the tension she was holding in her shoulders relax. She looked up at Callie who refused to look back and she gulped.
They had gotten to a rhythm and their arguments died down, both of them were painfully aware of the other's presence and when the other wasn't looking, they would examine each of their moves.
They were in a room full of strangers and had each felt plentifully embarrassed, hashing out all of their qualms under disguised language, the hidden grudges they didn't realize they held, coming out in snarky remarks.
They began to work seamlessly, it was hard to tell whose hand was who's they both worked with such precision. They hadn't needed to talk much, they knew what the other was planning to do.
The two of them were finishing their charts at the surgical nursing station.
"I bought a plant." Arizona said flatly, she looked up at Callie, ignoring her chart completely.
"You bought a plant?" Callie raised an eyebrow.
"A philodendron."
"A philodendron, huh?" She laughed.
"Yep." Arizona said, punctuating the p sound, she rocked back on her heels.
Callie nodded politely, returning to her work.
"Did you know they emit pheromones?" Arizona said awkwardly, scrunching her face as she spoke.
Callie looked up with a small chuckle.
"Callie." She called her attention.
"Mhm?" She said as she continued to scribble on the papers below her.
"We work well together." Arizona nodded with a small smile.
Callie couldn't help but laugh.
"What?" She challenged.
"I don't think that was our greatest showing of our ability to work together."
"Well no, not the beginning, but once you stopped being a jackass things got a lot better."
Callie chuckled as she continued charting.
"I think that's always gonna be true." She smiled sincerely.
"That everything will be okay when I stop being a jackass?" Callie lifted her head, only half paying attention.
"No." Arizona drew out slowly, she took a step closer to her ex-wife so she wouldn't return her attention solely to the chart in front of her. "Just," she paused, "we make a good team."
"We do, huh?" Callie teased.
Arizona playfully hit Callie's arm. "We do." She said quietly. She paused for a moment, she bit the inside of her lip. "It felt nice to walk out of a surgery together. With you, I feel like I have four hands that are doing exactly what I want them to without having to explain it."
"Are you admitting I'm still a good surgeon?" She tested.
"I'm saying…" She drifted off, trying to put together the words without revealing everything just yet, "I think we make a good team."
"Ditto, Robbins." Callie added with a surprised laugh.
Arizona's mouth fell open. "You're still calling me that?" She exclaimed.
Callie smiled, she folded the chart under her arm. "Arizona." Arizona smiled. "We know each other well enough, do I need to say it? I'm glad you're here."
Arizona felt goosebumps up and down her body. She looked down at her phone for the time.
"Goodbye, Callie." She smiled, she leaned in to give her a hug.
"Can you stop avoiding me?" Callie asked right next to her ear mid-hug.
Arizona pulled back stiffly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"We just decided that–" She laughed. Callie cooed. "I know you, Arizona."
Arizona bit her bottom lip, but smiled softly. "Do you now?" She teased.
"You tell me." Callie smiled mischievously. "Were you avoiding me?"
Arizona opened her mouth in offense, she closed it awkwardly. "Maybe." She blurted out.
Callie laughed at her expression. "Can we be honest with each other from now on?"
Arizona nodded.
"And no more avoiding each other?" She hoped.
Arizona smiled. "I guess." She conceded with a jokey smile.
"Drive safely, Arizona." Callie smiled, she pulled Arizona's forehead to her mouth and gave her a sweet gentle kiss.
July 3rd, 2018
Arizona spent the next day trying to keep a smile off her face. Maybe they were getting somewhere, maybe Arizona was getting what she so desired. The rational, so to speak, part of her brain was beating her over the head trying to get herself to grasp the gravity of what she was potentially doing.
She decided she needed to maintain her distance. She needed more time. She needed to be able to think rationally and when she was around Callie, all rationale went out the window.
She was not one for superstition, but there was something about this damn elevator in this hospital that was destined to confine her in a ten by ten box with her ex-wife.
She should've seen it coming, truly.
She should've seen her coming. It was like Callie was destined to find her and this elevator was working overtime to get them together.
She had needed to take a break from Callie, from the stolen glances, the growingly bold and overt jealousy, the little touches. It was all becoming too much. She was ready to crack. Really, the cracks were already there and she was trying to hold it all together. Once she let herself fall open, she knew there was no turning back. She would be making a choice, yet the feeling of inevitability was growing each and every day. In a roundabout way, it felt like destiny.
Callie smiled a small genuine smile when she entered the elevator as Arizona was leaving for the day.
They exchanged pleasantries.
Arizona's vision fogged over when she saw Callie. She was losing her fight and she was losing the will to fight.
"You look really pretty." Callie whispered.
Arizona squeezed her eyes so tightly it almost hurt. Why did Callie have to make this so difficult?
After everything, it would be so easy to wash it all away and lose herself again in the moment with her ex-wife. It would be so easy to revert to what they once were. To forget all of this pain and drama, and just give in to their desires.
She kept her eyes fixated on the little changing number. She bit the inside of her mouth rather hard trying to ignore the presence of the beautiful person next to her.
"Arizona." Callie sighed breathlessly.
Arizona curled her fingers into her palms until she felt pain. She couldn't help it. She squeezed her eyes to cut out the world. She thought, Why am I fighting this in the first place? If it felt so good, so right, so natural as breathing, why was she fighting so hard against it?
Arizona's eyes locked on her lips before flinching away. Maybe in another world she would have the courage to ignore all of this crap and just kiss Callie senseless in this elevator that was forcing them together.
"Callie…" Arizona warned as she shook her head. Her eyes were sealed shut, knowing one look at her ex-wife and her composure would just shatter completely.
In the back of her mind, all she could think about is the taste of Callie's lips. She wondered if they felt the same, if it would still feel the same, if it would still take her breath away.
"I asked Nicole about you to make sure you were happy."
Arizona remained still as she listened patiently, her heart pounded in her chest. Why am I fighting? Echoed in her mind.
"All I want for you is to be happy, Arizona." She whimpered. Callie was cracking, unable to take the space she thought she needed to put between the two as well. Shivers went down Arizona's spine. This was everything she had needed to hear, yet she still couldn't let herself fall just yet.
Arizona squeezed her eyes shut and all thoughts of kissing Callie flew out the window. Please, Callie. She begged silently. She needed to hear how Callie felt, to have her spell out that she does deeply care for her in the same way.
Callie's eyes looked so sad. It was the same expression when she asked her to move back in. But this was different, wasn't it?
It was hard for Arizona to let herself be truly happy. She was content, but she wasn't completely happy.
"Tomorrow is the fourth, why don't you come over to watch the fireworks with us?"
I deserve to be happy. She affirmed herself, Callie's reassuring look in her eyes helped to ease the discomfort.
"I would love to." She smiled stiffly, although a new sparkle glimmered in her eyes, one that erupted a large smile over Callie's face. She would go to the ends of the earth to see Arizona smile like she once had around her.
The elevator opened to the parking garage. "I'll see you tomorrow, Callie." She smiled.
"I'll walk you to your car." Callie smiled, stepping out of the elevator behind her ex-wife. Her hand found a sly position on the small of Arizona's back.
Arizona breathed deeply trying to ease the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. If this is my happiness… She drifted off in a happy daydream.
If Callie was her happiness, then everything felt calm.
They walked over to Arizona's car in silence. At one point, Callie's hand slid from Arizona's back and down her arm, she interlaced her fingers delicately with hers.
She looked over at Arizona with a small, excited smile.
This felt different. Something had changed.
Callie smiled larger as she began to swing their hands together. Arizona giggled at Callie's pure glee written over her face.
They reached her car far too soon. After Arizona had placed her bag in her car, she rested against her car. Callie came closer to her, so delectably close.
They could feel the heat of the other begging them to inch closer and closer. Callie's arms flanked either side of Arizona, placing each of her hands on Arizona's waist.
Callie smiled a large toothy smile. "Arizona." She sighed happily. "Come over tomorrow, Sofia will love to have both of us for the holidays again."
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Her eyes glimmered.
Callie's breath hitched. She leaned in, her hands traveled up Arizona's body and delicately framed her face.
Arizona's heart stopped, she gulped.
Callie gently kissed Arizona's forehead.
Arizona reached up and overlapped her hands on Callie's, holding her to her, she looked deeply in her eyes.
"Text me when you get home." She swallowed. She bit her lip slightly. That had not been where she intended to kiss her.
Arizona brought one of Callie's hands to her mouth and kissed the back of her palm lightly.
"I will." She smiled softly, detaching from Callie and climbing into her car. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Callie walked away back through the parking garage alone. She smiled, she covered her hand with her other and remembered the feeling of Arizona's ever-soft lips. She was yearning for more. She was yearning to feel her lips again on her own and being able to connect with her in that once sacred way.
July 4th, 2018
She had a choice to make. She could stay at her apartment alone, or she could go home. She knew she was losing the fight to keep herself from Callie, and she felt Callie losing her resolve as well. Either way, she needed some stability in her life as everything else changed beneath her feet. She needed her family.
She found herself standing outside Callie's door, thinking about her decision. It no longer made her so terrified. She was choosing to let herself be happy.
"Hey!" Callie greeted with a large smile as she opened the door.
"Mama!" Sofia gave Arizona a big hug once she had made it through the door.
"Hi, my baby." She smiled at her little girl before she ran back over to the couch.
"I thought you'd be here sooner." Callie said sadly, she reached out for Arizona's hand immediately.
Arizona swallowed, she wanted to flinch away, but instead let Callie's warm, strong hand engulf hers. "I'm sorry." She whispered softly.
She had made her decision.
The fireworks display was fast approaching. Sofia was bouncing off the walls in excitement, mainly because she was with both of her mothers.
The sky had only recently moved past dusk and a few stars spattered the night sky. Upon Sofia's insistent requests to be prepared for the fireworks show, the three of them had made their way onto the modestly sized balcony on Callie's apartment.
Arizona and Callie made small talk and immediately got distracted talking with the other. They didn't care what they talked about as long as they were together.
Callie just smiled softly.
"Shh!" Sofia hushed her mothers, "It's starting!" She exclaimed as the first bursts of colors filled the sky.
Callie and Arizona shared a small glance and with that Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona's waist from behind her and rested her chin on her shoulder. Arizona sighed and relaxed into Callie's embrace.
Sofia's face lit up with excitement as the show continued.
Callie and Arizona laughed.
It was beautiful, peaceful, and overwhelming. Arizona felt her breath get shallow and it felt her air didn't make it very far in her lungs. Sofia looked so happy. Everything felt so right. So scarily right.
A few tears welled up in her eyes. She was so overwhelmed with the situation she had found herself in. She felt true, raw happiness, and it was terrifying.
"Hey, what are you doing in here?" Callie asked hesitantly, opening the door to the bathroom.
Arizona dabbed the tissue under her eyes, watching herself in the mirror. "Callie…" she said cautiously. She had retreated to the bathroom to give herself a moment to breathe.
Callie approached closer.
"Are you okay?" Callie asked softly once she noticed the sparse tears on her cheeks.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She lied.
Callie came even close so that Arizona could see her in the mirror.
"Did you put Sofia to bed?" Arizona asked. Her voice shook a little.
"Yeah." Callie replied softly. She paused. "What's wrong?"
Arizona sighed with a grin. She turned around, resting herself on the counter behind her.
"I'm happy." She replied.
"You're happy?" She raised an eyebrow. She took another step closer so that they were maybe a foot apart.
"Sofia was so excited tonight," she smiled largely, "it was nice to see her so happy."
"You're allowed to be happy, too."
"I know." Arizona nodded, frowning a little at the implication.
"You do?" She challenged with a smirk.
"Yes." She said defensively.
"Good." Callie said softly. "You deserve all the happiness in the world, Arizona."
Arizona inhaled quietly, but it felt as if her lungs didn't fill up at all.
"Callie…" She sang softly. Her eyes couldn't focus on Callie's anymore, they were too intent, too knowing.
"Arizona." Callie begged. She took another half step forward. She lightly held Arizona's waist between her hands.
Everything felt calm and peaceful. Neither of them felt they could breathe but it was like they didn't care at all. There was no fear or hesitation left in the room. It was just the two of them doing what they knew how to do. They knew each other more than anything else in the world. It was the safest haven on earth.
Callie gently slid her hand up to cup Arizona's cheek. In slow motion, with nothing but the sound of heavy exhales, lightly drew Arizona's mouth to hers. Arizona whimpered. Her lips were so soft and everything that she remembered. Arizona inhaled deeply before she reached out and held Callie's face to hers between her palms. It was a delicate kiss, a delicate touch, but it was eternally sweet and powerful.
When she pulled back, they just stared at each other. They breathed heavily as they both sat in the realization of what they had done.
"Callie." That was all Arizona could say. Every ounce of Arizona's being wanted to bolt. She felt each hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Her knees felt as if they could give out at any moment.
Arizona's eyes widened and tears threatened to spill over her eyelids. She expected the same hesitant and nervousness in Callie's eyes, but there was none. The only expression she had was intently focused eyes and a delicate smirk on the lips she had just kissed.
"Do that again." Arizona whispered when she saw that expression on her face, her eyes returning to Callie's supple lips. They hovered just above hers, she could feel Callie's hot exhale on her own lips. "Kiss me again." She begged, throwing caution to the wind and not letting herself feel any fear. It felt too right to let fear ruin this moment.
Callie quickly closed the distance once again. This kiss was more hurried as they fought to feel close to the other once again. Arizona whimpered again, her body shook just a little into their kiss. Arizona lips were just as sweet as she remembered, she could get high on that taste.
Callie pushed Arizona firmly against the counter as she deepened the kiss. Her hand in Arizona's waist crept up under her shirt until she felt her warm skin under her fingertips. It had been so long since they felt each other in this way. She quickly reacquainted herself with each part of Arizona's mouth, dying at the ethereal sensation it brought her. Her stomach dropped out and she couldn't care less as she moaned softly into Arizona's mouth.
Arizona swallowed at the sound Callie made. She pulled Callie onto her harder. Pulling at her face and her hips so that she could feel close to Callie in the way she knew best. The sound of heavy breathing and the meeting of lips filled the room.
"Callie, Callie." Arizona called between kisses, trying to get her attention, but she barely fought hard enough.
"Don't make us stop." Callie begged as she rested her forehead on Arizona's, she ran her hands up and down Arizona's arm.
"I don't want to." She sighed. "But I think we have to." She squeezed her eyes tightly.
"Please." Callie begged desperately. She moved her mouth right over Arizona's, letting her breath hit Arizona's lips.
Arizona's sigh hit Callie's lips, each of her nerves stood on end.
"We don't have to stop." She pleaded.
"Callie…" She cried. Arizona grabbed her head by the nape of her neck and pulled her down on her firmly. The sound of their breathing through their noses filled the air as they met with more feverish passion.
Callie whimpered once Arizona lightly nibbled on Callie's lower lip. Callie couldn't help reaching down until she held Arizona's hips firmly in place. She wished nothing more but to reach just around to hold Arizona lower, but she restrained herself as much as she could.
Arizona pulled Callie into herself further, and ran her hands up and down her arms.
After a few more moments, Callie pulled back as they fought for their breath. She smiled softly at Arizona. She leaned in and kissed the tip of Arizona's nose.
They intertwined their hands.
They stared into each other's eyes. Their gazes were softened than they had seen in the other's in several years.
"Come on." Callie smiled, she tugged Arizona hand in hers and led her out the door.
"What are we doing?" Arizona asked with a hesitant smile.
Callie squeezed her hand in hers. "There's always another round of fireworks."
Arizona smiled softly, a little too excited for the adults-only firework showing of the evening.
They made it onto the balcony once again.
"I want to hold you." She said plainly and firmly. She needed to feel Arizona in her arms more than anything.
They shared a small glance and with that Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona's waist from behind her and rested her chin on her shoulder. Arizona sighed and relaxed into her embrace.
"I missed this." Callie heard Arizona whisper softly.
"Me too." She replied quietly. Warmness filled each of them, it was a decently chilly July evening but this warmth was a different warmth. The feeling deep in your being of such deep affection and care for another person.
They had been affectionate with each other, but this felt different. You can try to write off hugs that lingered and almost friendly, innocent kisses, but you cannot write off what the two of them felt. It was pure fire once their lips met once again, and both of them knew how they had turned a corner they wouldn't be able to take back. Fortunately, neither of them wanted to.
It had been years since they felt like this. It was only with each other they felt this deeply for another person.
They swayed gently back and forth. Callie squeezed Arizona in her arms, feeling how her hands fell on her waist, how warm and soft her skin was.
They watched a scattering of a plethora of swarmed in each of their stomachs. Arizona shook slightly from an overwhelming emotion she had not felt in the longest time.
"You okay?" Callie asked softly, she whispered it in Arizona's ear, her warm breath sent shivers down Arizona's spine.
Arizona just smiled and looked back out onto the skyline. The end of the show was near as fireworks exploded in rapid succession.
They stayed in this blissful moment for several minutes after the sky became vacant of light. They breathed in the moment and the intimacy they shared for the first time in what felt like forever.
"It's getting late." Arizona said as her nerves built up again in her stomach.
"Stay the night." Callie whispered. "Please."
Arizona leaned into the side of Callie's face and smiled. The vibration of Callie's voice sent her shivers down her spine. "Aren't you a bit presumptuous?" She teased.
Arizona spun in Callie's arms to face her. She took her into her arms, snuggled her head into the crook of her neck and breathed her in deeply.
She had already gotten one part of her fantasy about her ex-wife, if she was alone with her in a room with a bed, she would have to fight hard to prevent the other part from coming too soon. But soon meant it will come.
