Charlie felt herself blanch as she began to understand the stories more clearly. Angel and his brother weren't raised as normal children, but as living weapons. The rivalry, abuse, favoritism, and neglect they experienced were all intentional tactics designed to make them compete with one another rather than rely on each other. Angel, Arackniss, and Molly were conditioned to fear their father if they disobeyed. Even the fact that Angel was trained to use a weapon at such a young age was not the action of a family man, but rather that of a beast commanding an army.
As Angel shared his story, it became clear that he was seen as the defective one simply because of who he was, which was beyond his control. The realization that Angel and his siblings were victims of their father's twisted and violent machinations filled Charlie with a sense of horror and sadness.
Angel looked at Charlie with concern, sensing her unease. "Do you want to stop?" he asked softly, his voice filled with understanding.
He knew that the stories he was telling were not easy to hear. The memories of his past were still painful, and he could only imagine how difficult it must be for Charlie to hear about the horrors he and his siblings had endured.
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Angel continued, his eyes gentle and empathetic. "We can stop if you need to." He knew that his past had shaped him in ways that were difficult to overcome.
"No," Charlie said firmly. "It's just hard to fathom that all of this really happened. The idea of being trained for combat as a child, being forced to conform to a world that doesn't accept you for who you are, it's just so...wrong."
She paused the recording, sensing that Angel needed a moment to regroup before continuing. Looking at her phone, she saw that an hour had passed since they began their conversation. She also noticed a flurry of text messages from Vaggie, who was understandably concerned about her whereabouts. Charlie appreciated Vaggie's protective nature, but sometimes she could be a bit overbearing. Despite Vaggie's worries, Charlie knew that she was safe within the walls of the compound. The security measures in place were top-notch, and there were guards patrolling the grounds at all times to ensure the safety of Hell's royal family.
Taking a deep breath, Charlie turned to Angel. "Are you ready to continue?" she asked, her voice gentle and reassuring. "We can take a break if you need to. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and I want to hear your story, no matter how difficult it may be."
"You probably could relate to it in some ways," Angel shrugged. "Like that guy you were in the prom photo with."
"Seviathan…" Charlie asked? "How could you…how could you tell?"
"I know a creep when I see one," Angel responded, his expression serious. "Also, something about the way you were with him in the photo seemed forced. As though you had to maintain a facade for appearances, but in reality you were miserable."
Charlie hugged her arms around herself, feeling vulnerable. She had already confided in Cherri about her relationship with Sevaithan and wasn't eager to explain it to someone else. And yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that Angel understood her in a way that few others did. He, too, had been forced to hide his true self in order to survive.
In a moment of surprise, Charlie felt Angel drape the cardigan he had been wearing over her shoulders. The gesture was small, but it offered a sense of comfort that she desperately needed. It was as if Angel was saying without words that he didn't need to know the details of her past with Seviathan - he already understood.
For a few moments, they sat in silence, the only sound the soft rustle of fabric as Charlie adjusted the cardigan around her shoulders. Finally, Angel spoke up as he returned to the rock he had been sitting on.
"Vag's is probably worried about where you are," Angel commented casually. Charlie noticed that he had deliberately said 'you' instead of 'we', implying that Vaggie might not be as concerned about Angel's whereabouts as she was about Charlie's.
It wasn't lost on Charlie that Vaggie still had a certain level of distrust towards Angel, despite the fact that her dislike for him had subsided somewhat in light of recent events. The female moth demon was fiercely protective of Charlie and had a tendency to be overly cautious when it came to anyone who might pose a threat to her. Moving to the message app on her Hellphone to calm her girlfriend and lovers nerves.
Vaggie: Charlie…PLEASE ANSWER!
Charlie: I'm alright Vaggie. Charlie's text was immediately responded with the ellipsis that indicated a reply was in process.
Vaggie: WHERE ARE YOU?!
Charlie: I'm with Angel.
Vaggie: Is that supposed to make me feel better?!
Charlie: Why do you think I'm in trouble?
Vaggie: I'm just concerned about why you couldn't let me know where you were going.
Charlie: I don't know how to explain what is happening right now. But, Angel needed me to listen to him. He has agreed to have our conversation recorded so you and Cherri can hear what was said when we return. Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Vaggie: How long is this going to take?
Charlie: I don't know, another hour…maybe two. I will be here with him as long as it takes.
Vaggie: Charlie…I don't feel comfortable about this.
Charlie: Come on, Vaggie. I'll be back when everything is over. Please, trust me about this.
Vaggie gave one last ellipsis as though she wanted to respond or object, but decided to think better of it. Charlie put her phone down, before returning her attention to Angel again. Angel had his work phone and was reading through the messages that Valentino had left him. He wasn't particularly disturbed by any of the threats or that the Overlord had written. Perhaps because he was someplace he didn't actually need to live in fear of the Moth's hold over him, or perhaps he had heard these threats so often he had grown numb to them.
"I take it…" Angel said cautiously as Charlie restarted the recording. "You were going to want to get in touch with my Fratello when you get back to the city."
Charlie looked at Angel in surprise, wondering how he knew what she had been considering this. "Yes," she said slowly. "I was planning on it, but now...I don't know if that's such a good idea."
Angel's voice was laced with a hint of bitterness as he spoke about his relationship with his older brother. "He's not a bad guy," he said, "straightforward and brutal, yes. But he isn't what you would call a bad guy." He paused for a moment, as if considering his words carefully. "Fratello and I have never been on what you would call the best of terms, and it ain't exactly gotten better with me leavin' the family. So the times the two of us do encounter each other, it isn't really a courtesy check."
"Is there a way to locate him?" Charlie inquired. "Just in case we need to contact him."
"Seekin' out the mob isn't a good idea," Angel pointed out. "If you try to track them down yourself, you're likely to be shot at before they consider talking to yah. Fratello and his crew in particular are not exactly fans of unexpected visitors. If you need to get in touch with the Mafia, you have to know a guy who has connections to a mob family and have them work things out. Even if he does agree to have a sit down with you, Fratello won't speak to you immediately. He'd send a representative to speak with you first so he can know what the meeting is for. From there he will decide if meeting with you is worth his time. But even then, there's no guarantee that Fratello will agree to meet with you."
"So," Charlie translated. "It's probably better I don't get in contact with him,"
Angel leaned back on the rock he was sitting on, his eyes looking thoughtful as though weighing his words. "Actually, Charlie, you may need to consider seeking out help from someone who understands the criminal underworld when you and Vaggie return to the city. The Vee''s could pose a threat to the hotel, and you need to be prepared to deal with them."
He paused for a moment, considering his words carefully. "But that being said, Fratello shouldn't be your immediate resort. There are other options you may want to explore first." He took a deep breath before continuing.
"For instance, there's a singer at Club Incognito who may be able to help you. His name is Luke Strike, but when he was alive he went by the name of Luca Celani. He used to be one of the non-blood related members of the Ragno Family, but he's been exiled from the family because he also chose to leave the life behind when he arrived in Hell. Before I agreed to join the family, I had seen him at times but never had much interaction with him. Back then I was usually more interested in catching up with Molly during the times she was home. Pops was sort of grooming Luca to marry into the family by becoming Molly's boyfriend."
"Grooming him to marry," Charlie asked?
"Women didn't have a significant role in Mob families," Angel said with a sneer. "It was different in Italy, where women could be part of the life and hold prominent positions, but in the Italian families in America, crime was considered exclusively for men."
He paused for a moment, shaking his head. "Women had a purpose in the family, though," he continued, "and that was to be mediators and to represent the family in the public eye, serving as a positive image of a crime family. However, for a Mafia Princess, one of the main roles was to create alliances with other families through marriage."
Angel shifted on the rock he was sitting on his gaze fixed upon the white orb of Heaven that hovered in the sky. "At the time, it was expected for women to be married by the age of 30," he said, his tone growing more bitter. "And the main reasons for marriage were for social status and breeding purposes. By marrying a prospective suitor and bearing children, a Mafia Princess could secure a future for her family. If they didn't marry, they were considered old maids and burdens."
He let out a snort. "Being the daughter of a Mafia chief of course limited her prospects, so she had to find a suitor who could be of use to the family or create an alliance with a son of another clan. Alternatively, she could become the bride of a member of our family who had the potential to strengthen our family. That's why Pops was grooming Luca to be brought into the family through marriage."
Angel shook his head again, his expression growing even more disgusted. "It was a messed up world we lived in," he said, his voice heavy with disdain. "But that's the way it was."
Charlie winced as she heard echoes of the Seviathan's oily, self-absorbed voice saying, "You only need to focus on smiling at your adoring subjects and taking care of our children. You don't have to worry about any of that difficult political stuff. I'll have it all taken care of."
"So your sister would have been married off," Charlie said.
"That's pretty much it," Angel sighed. "One of the few things Fratello and I did agree on is we didn't like the idea of Molly being married off to the highest bidder. So Luca having her would have been ideal, since his family was from Calabria and he had qualities that Pops wanted carried in the family. However, Luca didn't end up with Molly. Instead, he fell for someone else in the family. Actually, he fell for me."
"He was gay?" Charlie asked.
"Not really," Angel admitted. "Luca was actually bisexual. I had seen him a few times when Fratello went out with guys in the family. I didn't really interact with him since I wasn't involved in the life, and I didn't want Pops to assume things."
He took a deep breath before continuing. "About a week after I turned fifteen, Pops informed Fratello and me that he was having a meeting with some people from other families. He told us that anyone who was a street captain or lower was to occupy themselves for the evening. This meant that the guys in the meetings would be the ones in charge of each family: the Bosses, the Underbosses, and the Consigliere. Typically, Fratello would go out with other guys and enjoy a night at a place called 'The Pinnacle Club'. It's kind of like one of those burlesque halls or gentlemen's clubs where guys go to drink and girls would entertain them. And if you paid a little extra, they'd give you a more private form of entertainment."
"The things Valentino would have you do," Charlie said, understanding the implication behind Angel's words.
"Y'know, when Pops had those meetings, he always wanted me to be invisible. I had to stay locked up in my room and not make a peep. Even going to the bathroom was off-limits, 'cause he didn't want the other Mafia bosses thinkin' I was eavesdroppin'. One night, though, it was pourin' outside – one of those downpours that soak you to the bone in seconds – and Pops sent me out with Fratello to "The Pinnacle Club." He thought maybe it would man me up or somethin', make me more into the idea of being with girls. But after an hour, I couldn't take it anymore and split. It's ironic, I guess, given what I've been doin' since I got to Hell, but that was not the kind of place I wanted to be. Fratello caught me leaving and that's when I told him I was gay. He told me to go ahead and walk home in the rain, didn't care what happened to me. Maybe he knew or suspected before, but my admission just confirmed it for him, just like Pops."
"Wasn't that place pretty far from your home?" Charlie inquired.
"Yeah, it was way on the other side of town," Angel confirmed. "A mile in New York is like twenty blocks, so it was at least a four-mile hike back to the house. Luckily, Luca saw me leaving and followed me. He mentioned he noticed the argument and although he didn't hear anything, he had a pretty good guess about what it was all about. He also hinted that he was bisexual himself, so he understood why I felt uneasy being in a place where girls were entertaining men. He offered to let me crash at his place for the night since he had a spare room in his apartment. His mother was one of those women who would take in her kids' friends and treat them like family."
"That must have been…" Charlie said not really knowing how to describe it. She's never known what it was like to have lost a parent since both her mother and father were immortal.
"It was really painful and awkward," Angel confirmed. "Yeah, it was tough. It had been about ten years since my own mother passed away, and just being there reminded me of everything I had lost or didn't have. Even Luca was the kind of person I wished my older brother could have been. When I was settling down in the guest room for the night, Luca checked if I was comfortable or needed anything. That's not something Fratello ever did, even when we were sharing a room. The next morning, I found my clothes clean and dry, and Luca's mother had made a Frittata and insisted I ate with them so that I wouldn't return home starving. Luca then drove me home."
"Things weren't good when you returned home…" Charlie picked up."Were they?"
"Nope, they weren't," Angel agreed.
*Flash Back*
Anthony cautiously entered the house, praying that his father was away at his office or on one of his supposed business trips, which were really just excuses to chase after other women. He had grown old enough to see through his father's lies, especially after noticing the way Sabina had been acting since Molly left to live upstate some years ago. She had grown distant from her husband, and every time Anthony saw her, she carried herself with tension. Whenever a man was nearby, she seemed anxious, reminding him of how his mother used to act at times. During holidays or visits, Molly stayed at the Andreioli's house next door, and even she sensed that something was wrong with Sabina, particularly when their father's name was mentioned. Sabina would often stare into space, seemingly not noticing anything around her. Umberto knew something was going on with his wife but didn't address it, either because he didn't know how to or he was afraid of facing the truth.
"Anthony," He heard his fathers voice growl from the study. "Yah home?"
"Ye…Yeah Pops," The golden-brown haired boy said. He knew if his father was here, things weren't good. "I just got back."
"Come here," Henrico Ragno said, beckoning Anthony into his study. Anthony gulped in fear but did as his father ordered, closing the sliding doors behind him before facing his father, who sat on the other side of the desk. He could feel his father's piercing gaze, dissecting him as if searching for a hidden truth. "Your brother tells me you two had a disagreement last night and you left the club early. Care to explain?" Henrico demanded.
"I didn't like the club," Anthony explained nervously. "I'm not ready for that kind of scene yet, so I told Enzo that I was going to one of the vaudeville performances in the area, and I would rejoin him later. Fratello didn't like the idea and just told me to go walk home in the rain for all he cared." Don Ragno raised an eyebrow skeptically, indicating that he didn't quite believe what his youngest son was saying.
"That's your story, huh?" the older man asked, his tone dripping with disbelief.
"Yes," Anthony said.
"Cut the crap, Tony," Henroin growled. "The reason you wanted to leave is 'cause you're a fuckin' queer. Yah brother didn't say it, but we all know you swing that way. Damn it, with the way you are you shoulda been born a girl, at least Molly has her uses. Now…care ta tell me where you were last night?"
"Celani," Anthony said. He couldn't lie to Pops, though he couldn't reveal that Luca was bi either. If he did, he may as well be writing the other man's death warrant. "He saw me walkin' in the rain last night and he had me stay at the apartment he shares with his mother. I was able to change into some dry things, Mamma Celani put a bowl of minestrone soup in front of me, and then I spent the rest of the night in the guest room."
"That's all that happened," Henrico said. He didn't sound skeptical, but he wasn't ready to completely buy this explanation. "Did you come on to him?"
"No, Pops," Anthony responded. "I stayed in the guest room all night."
"Did he come on to you," Henroin asked? He had noticed this his younger son wasn't always the one who was visually attracted to men. While clearly a boy, Anthony did have softer and effeminate features that did make him come across as girl-like. Such interests could cause problems for the Ragno family if they were apparent to the other families.
"No Pops," Anthony answered. "If he did, I'd tell you. Besides, his mother was there…even if he was inclined, yah think he'd risk us being caught."
"Perhaps you're right," Henrico said as he cut the tip off a cigar he pulled out of a box on his desk and then lit the thick stick of tobacco. "But, I don't buy your story."
"I've told yah everythin', Pops," Anthony protested. "What more do yah want?"
"WHAT I WANT…" Don Ragno snarled angrily. "IS FOR YOU TO FUCKEN' GROW A PAIR! I've been over this with you over, and over, and over again with you for some time now. I had you room with Enzo so you can get the idea what it means to be a boy, didn't work. I've sent your sister away so she can learn how to be a woman and you won't have her around as a girly influence, that didn't work. I've tried correctin' you myself, and yah still a fuckin' liability for this family. If I knew you'd be this much of a disappointment, I'd have sent you to an orphanage and you could be someone else's problem. You leave me no other choice…but you brought this on yourself….He's in here!"
"No…" Anthony got a sinking feeling about what his father intended to do. The doors to the study opened and two men dressed as orderlies for a mental hospital stepped into the room.
"This him?" One of the men asked.
"Pops, please don't do this," Anthony protested as the two orderlies grabbed him and started to pull him to the van waiting outside. "I haven't done anything."
"Maybe not," Henroin said. "I can't trust that you won't. Unless they succeed at fixen' yah, you're as good as dead to me."
"POPS," Anthony cried in protest, but his words fell on deaf and unsympathetic ears. Even the street outside was silent and seemed to avert its gaze from the boy being tossed into the back of the van. The sound of the doors locking was deafening before the doors of the front cab slammed shut.
"Mamma," Anthony said. His voice shook as tears fell down face as he recited the names of the people he knew he would never see again. Not for a long time. "Sabina, Fratello,...Molly….Molly Mi dispiace (I'm sorry). "
*End Flashback*
Charlie was silent, her mind trying to process the weight of what she had just heard. A tear trickled down her cheek, but she made no attempt to wipe it away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around the cardigan that Angel had given her and took in a deep breath, inhaling the unique scent that was distinctly his. It was a mixture of sweet berries, fresh basil, and sage leaves, and it felt oddly soothing and reassuring.
"He believed conversion therapy could…" Charlie asked?
"Pops..." Angel said, his voice tinged with a hint of disbelief. But there was also a note of resignation in his tone that acknowledged the truth of what he was saying. "He didn't really believe that it would make a difference. Mental hospitals back in my day were a joke. They claimed to help people, but in reality, they were just dumping grounds for anyone who didn't fit society's definition of 'normal'. They were places where people who nobody wanted to deal with were sent, and it was a one-way ticket to hell. If you were sane when you went in, you definitely weren't coming out that way. The 'treatments' they used were nothing more than torture, and it's sickening to think that they passed it off as something beneficial. "
Charlie fell silent, taking in Angel's words and reflecting on how his experiences were similar to her goals for the Happy Hotel. She had wanted to provide a sanctuary for those deemed unworthy by Heaven, a place where they could find redemption and happiness. But as Angel spoke, she realized that her actions might not be any better than the mental hospitals of the past. She remembered how Cherri had angrily informed her that the name "Happy Hotel" was actually a derogatory term used for mental hospitals, and it made her question the ethics of her work.
Angel had never explicitly told her about the negative connotations of the name, aside from a somewhat dubious comment when he had first moved in. She had thought the name was cheerful and comforting, but now she wondered if it was inappropriate given the hotel's purpose. While psychiatric hospitals may have used unethical methods, their goal was still to heal or help those with mental illnesses or addictions. However, the consequences of their actions could be devastating. Husk's words echoed in her mind.
If he was using anything up until the year he died though…I doubt it was the shit he names himself after. In any case it's not the sort of drug that people turn to for fun. It's the sort of shit they turn to when they want to block something out.
As Charlie contemplated Angel's words, she couldn't help but wonder if this event had played a role in his drug use. She knew that addiction was a complex issue, but she also knew that trauma and mistreatment could be contributing factors. These were questions she would need to grapple with as she continued to run the Happy Hotel.
Charlie realized that she needed to carefully consider the potential consequences of her actions and the impact they may have on the individuals she aimed to help. She knew that her desire to do good was important, but it wasn't enough. She needed to re-examine the purpose of her hotel and find ways to ensure that it was truly helping those in need, rather than just acting out of a sense of altruism.
"Do you want to continue with this?" Angel asked, noticing that Charlie seemed upset by their conversation.
"How long were you in the psychiatric hospital?" Charlie asked, her tone cautious and hesitant, but her curiosity and concern clear.
"About a year," Angel Dust replied. "A lot of it was messed up stuff, and most of it's a blur. What I do remember is stuff I wish I could forget. If you're not comfortable hearing any of this... don't feel like you need to force yourself."
"No, please," Charlie insisted. "Talking about traumatic experiences with someone can be a helpful way to deal with them. It can help others understand and accept the experience, so you feel less alone in it. It can also reduce the power of the trauma and help you come to terms with what happened."
"Alright," Angel sighed. "But if you get nightmares from this, remember that you're the one who wanted me to spill my guts. Anyway, when I was brought to the hospital, the first thing they did was make me talk to a shrink about my life, especially my childhood and experiences. The shrink came up with some psychological bullshit about why I could have ended up being gay. According to him, I was 'sexually confused' because I had been living much of my life around women like Mamma, Molly, and Sabina. So by his account, I had been learning 'female' habits and mannerisms. He believed that to fix me, I had to undergo intensive treatments like aversion therapies, where they try to associate attraction to the same gender with bad experiences. They showed me images of male pin-ups or nudes while giving me electroshock, or they made me sick or introduced bad smells into the room while showing me nude male images or film reels."
"That is…" Charlie didn't even have a way to properly even describe how horrific that sounded.
"It was fucked up stuff," Angel said. "These freaks thought they could rewire my noggin by zappin' it with electricity. And as if that wasn't enough, they also shot me up with insulin to knock me out cold. When I finally came to, I was so out of it that I was like a zombie, just walkin' around with no idea what was goin' on. They had to tie me down 'cause I was shakin' like crazy. And when I finally woke up, sometimes my shoulders were all messed up or I had some kinda bone break. And get this, the shrink in charge would come in with these dirty pics of naked chicks and ask if I was turned on."
"I don't think a straight person would be turned on by nude photos of anything after going through all of that," Charlie admitted.
"Ugh, that whole place was a freakin' nightmare," Angel responded. "You could hear people screamin' in pain down the hall, which really puts a damper on any sorta mood, ya know? And when I wasn't gettin' tortured, they had me locked up in a tiny cell with just a crummy bed and a bowl that they'd change twice a day cause that was kinda meant to be used as a toilet. Once a week, this jerk orderly would drag me to the showers, and he was always pickin' on me 'cause I'm gay and Italian. He'd call me all kinds of slurs and try to get me to fight him, but I was too worn out from all the meds they were shovein' down my throat and therapy they were puttin' me through. I wasn't the only guy he tended too, eventually, he pissed off the wrong person and got replaced. After several months, my sister and brother found out where I was and got me outta there. Pops had been lyin' to 'em, sayin' I was in some fancy "private institution" and happy as a clam. It took me a while to get over all the crap they did to me, but once I did regain some idea that I was back home. It was to found out I'd been gone for a whole year, my sixteenth birthday passed without me knowin'. And to top it off, Sabina had died. Pops had been abusin' her for a while. Andreioli knew, but he couldn't do nothin' 'cause Pops was the boss."
"He couldn't do or say anything about your father raping your aunt," Charlie gasped.
"Oh honey, you don't know how messed up the rules in the Mafia actually are," Angel Dust drawled. "I know, it's a shocker, but yeah, the mob actually has rules. How can a criminal enterprise have rules, right? But there are rules about things like 'Be loyal to the organization,' 'Be a team player,' and there was even a rule about not messing with the female family members of guys who are part of the family. Pops didn't seem to think they applied to him. He had his goons to back him up if anyone dared to challenge him. Sabina... she couldn't defend herself against Pops. Her husband was the consigliere of the family, so while he had an inner circle role, he couldn't really stand up to Pops' authority. Sabina was an easy target for that sick bastard. She must have been so miserable and desperate that she felt like she had no other choice but to end her own life."
Charlie listened intently to Angel's words and her expression softens with sympathy. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Angel. That's a terrible situation for anyone to be in. No one should ever have to go through something like that, and I'm sorry that you had to experience it. It's important that we hold those who abuse their power accountable, no matter who they are."
"Yah preachin' to the choir," Angel replied. "Though with me back with the family, Pops wasn't gonna just have me hangin' around. I couldn't go back to school cause I missed a year. And Pops saw education as overrated anyway. So he called me into his office one day and gave me a choice. I either join the family and pledge my oath, or, I could be seen as dead to the family."
"But…" Charlie said. "That isn't a choice. That's being forced into a corner…couldn't you have persuaded your father to allow you to return to school or maybe get a GED."
"Ya know, goin' back to school ain't exactly an option for me," Angel Dust sighed as hunched forward. All four arms wrapped around his stomach as though trying keep himself from catching a chill. "I missed my sophomore year 'cause I was stuck in the 'Loony Bin'. And back then, there wasn't even GEDs. Nah, those only came 'round during the time my life ended."
Angel paused for a moment, lost in thought. "Colleges were a thing in the 20s and 30s, but they weren't easy to get into. Unless your folks were loaded, you were outta luck when it came to higher education. Most folks just went straight to work after high school, usually in their family's business or somethin' like that.
I even suggested to my pops that I could work for the family in other ways, like bein' an actor, musician, or singer since I had some talent on the piano. But he just laughed and shut me down. No way was he gonna let any son of his prance around on a stage."
Angel shook his head, a bitter smile playing at the corners of his lips. "It ain't exactly easy bein' part of a family like mine. You either pledge your oath to 'em and work for 'em until the day you die, however that may happen. Or you choose to have no part in the family and you're out on your own, with nothin' but the clothes on your back.
Sure, gettin' work wouldn't be too hard. Labor jobs hired anyone that could breathe. But let me tell ya, the pay was next to nothin'. And if you're out there on your own, you're a prime target for members of other families. They'll see you as weak and vulnerable, and they'll try to take advantage of ya or worse. But hey, sometimes you gotta make tough choices in life. All I know is that I gotta weigh the risks and rewards, and figure out what's gonna be best for me in the long run.
Well, as you probably already figured out, I ended up choosin' to become part of the family. And let me tell ya, it ain't all rainbows and sunshine. I had to put myself in the closet, if ya know what I mean. Can't exactly go flauntin' around my lifestyle when the family's reputation is at stake. So I keep it under wraps and pretend to be someone I'm not. It ain't easy, but sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for the sake of the greater good."
"I guess," Charlie sighed, feeling a weight in her heart. "But honestly, I can't imagine what it must be like to be forced to hide who you are or who you choose to love. It's not fair that anyone should have to live like that, feeling like they can't be their true selves just to please the people or the world around them. I believe that everyone should be free to love who they want and be who they truly are without fear of persecution or discrimination. It breaks my heart to think that anyone can't do that."
"That's somethin' yah get used to," Angel Dust drawled, his New York twag laced with a hint of weariness. He pulled his cigarette pack from his back pocket and pulled one out. Returning the pack to his pocket again. Charlie called forth a small flame in her hand and offered it as a light for the spider. Angel gratefully lit his cigarette with the proffered flame before taking a drag to calm his nerves. "But you know what? Being in Hell is a little less restrictive than where I came from. Even still, there are guys who make snide remarks about me and who I am. I can handle being called a slut, but even today, being called a gay slur gets under my skin. It's not just me either. Many others have felt the same repression as I have. Throughout my entire life, both on Earth and in the afterlife, I've never truly felt like myself. It's always been about playing a part for someone else and wearing a mask to hide who I really am from the world."
"Did Luca get into trouble for helping you or notice you were missing?" Charlie asked.
"He confirmed a few details," Angel explained, flicking some ash off his cigarette. "But let's be real here. Luca was bought and paid for by the family. Even if he wanted to do something to help me out, there wasn't much he could do. Pops had the final say. And if Luca had spoken out against the family, he would have basically outed himself as bisexual and exposed that the argument about me leaving the club was because I was gay, not just because I was a minor. The family would have seen him as a liar, and speaking out against the Don would have put him in serious danger of getting a bullet in the head."
"What do you mean he was bought and paid for?" Charlie inquired.
"Ah, that," Angel Dust drawled, taking a drag on his cigarette. "Remember when I was sayin' that people don't join the Mafia to become saints. The Mafia's known for illegal activities, and they deserve that reputation, but they also did a lot of good in their own way. Some families even supported charitable causes and helped members of their community who were strugglin' to get by. And let's not forget how they helped their own families find jobs and get support. Now, I ain't sayin' all of this to excuse the violence and criminal activities, 'cause there's no justifying that. But in some cases, the charity and the crime went hand in hand. The Mafia can do favors for ya, but you best believe that kindness comes with a hefty price tag. And if you can't pay up, they'll come down on ya hard. Plus, they don't take 'no' for an answer. If they want somethin', they'll stop at nothin' to get it,"
Angel let out a breath of smoke before he continued. "With Luca, his family owned a winery. With Prohibition in full swing, they were havin' a hard time makin' ends meet. So, Pops and Fratello went to the Celani winery to see if they could help. Luca's old man was the owner, and while he respected the various families, he politely declined their offer to market his wine. He was holdin' onto his legacy, and no amount of help from the Mafia could change that.
But Fratello saw somethin' in Luca that could be useful to the family. He witnessed him take out a rodent in the vineyard with the precision of a hitman. So Pops suggested a different deal: they would arrange for the Celani's to live in a nice apartment in the city, and Luca could work for the family. But the old man still said no, seein' as he was getting nowhere Pops told him to think the offer over and let him know if things change. That's when things started to go wrong.
The winery was sabotaged, and part of the vineyard was set on fire. Then the FBI came to investigate on a tip that spirits were being produced. Luca's father was charged with a fine he couldn't pay and ended up in jail for a year. He died not long after, and Luca always believed it was a broken heart that killed him."
Angel took another drag from his cigarette and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "The Mafia can be helpful and reliable in some ways, but it always comes at a cost. And sometimes, that cost is too high to pay. So, Luca's dad passed away and the family vineyard was no longer able to run. That's when the Ragno Family swooped in with an offer that Luca couldn't refuse - an apartment in the city, rent and expenses taken care of, but there was a catch. He had to become an associate of the family and prove his worth.
Luca was no dummy though, he knew he had to keep control over his family's winery. Pops was cool with it, though. He saw it as a possible investment for the family. So, they secured the winery and locked it up, and Luca and his momma moved to the city to start his new gig. And he didn't disappoint. He proved himself to be a valuable member of the family, catchin' the attention of many, including Pops. While I was away gettin' my brain fried in psychiatric torture, Luca rose to the level of street captain, which is a big deal in the family's hierarchy.
As a Caporegime, you gotta show absolute loyalty and trust to the family. That's the only way you'll eventually be allowed to create your own crew. But, even though you get to call the shots, you still gotta follow the rules and regulations of the original family you were part of. It's the name of the game.
When Luca found out that I was down to join the family, he wanted me to be part of his crew if he ever branched out. See, when you're new to the Mafia, you start out as an associate. I guess you can say it's like a trial period where they test you out to see if you're the right fit. You get a Caporegime as your mentor, or "padrone," and they tell you what they expect from you. But as an associate, you're on call 24/7. You gotta report where you are at all times so that the family can reach you if they need you. You gotta be on time, no exceptions. So, if your grandma is on her deathbed and the family calls, telling you that they need you, you gotta kiss your grandma goodbye and go serve the family. It might seem cold, but in the Mafia, family comes first, and loyalty is everything.
Pops had me working for someone who wasn't really a part of the family, but more like an associate of the family who ran his own prostitution ring. This guy's name was Mario Valvano, and he had connections to various other families, including some of the more powerful ones. Valvano was this really creepy-looking guy, and even the girls who worked for him were easily freaked out by him. The worst part was that he reeked of garlic and doused himself in some disgusting cologne. It was hard enough having to look at him, let alone smell him.
I could sense that something was off about the guy, but I couldn't exactly refuse to work with him. Being labeled as "uncooperative" in this line of work could have serious consequences. So I reluctantly carried out my job with Valvano, tending to the girls and handling the money they earned. The girls had seen other guys working for Valvano before, but I was one of the few they actually liked. I made an effort to check on how they were doing and treated them with kindness.
Most of the other people who had worked for Valvano didn't stick around for long. They either became useful to one of the crime families and left, or they got into some sort of altercation and ended up getting gunned down. In a few cases, Valvano had to get rid of an assistant because they were being too aggressive or inappropriate with one of the girls, if you catch my drift.
About three months into my time working for him, Valvano called me into his office. That's when he dropped a bombshell on me. He told me that he was aware I was gay, and if I didn't want that information getting out to the other families. And to ensure his silence, he demanded that I allow him to use me as he liked.
"You mean he wanted...?" Charlie's voice trembled with a mixture of horror and disgust as Angel's implications sank in. Her mind raced, trying to comprehend the depths of Valvano's depravity. "He tried to...?" She couldn't even bring herself to finish the sentence, the unspeakable act hanging heavy in the air. Angel's silence spoke volumes, confirming her worst suspicions.
A wave of anger surged through Charlie, her usually compassionate and caring nature overshadowed by a burning fury. How could someone stoop so low? How could they exploit and violate others in such a despicable manner?
"I remembered my brother's words regarding kills," Angel's voice quivered as he recounted the fateful encounter. "The moment you're in a fight for your life, all you've got is yourself, the sucker staring you down, and whatever weapon you can get your hands on." His words carried the weight of a haunting memory, the gravity of that pivotal moment etched deep in his mind.
"Amidst the chaos and desperation, my survival instincts kicked into high gear, pushing me to snatch up a nearby letter opener. I didn't aim to end a life, but as the situation grew more dire, I found myself striking Valvano. The consequences of my actions hit me like a freight train, a gut-wrenching realization that I had become the catalyst for someone's final breath, forever altering the course of their existence.
The shock of taking another person's life flooded my senses, leaving me shaken to the core. Lost in a haze of disbelief and confusion, my instinctual response was to reach out to Andreioli, someone in the family I could trust. The subsequent events merged into a blurry montage, memories swirling together with Andreioli's sudden appearance, accompanied by Fratello and Luca. The world around me dissolved into a hazy backdrop, fading into obscurity.
When I finally regained consciousness, I found myself sprawled on the couch in Luca's old family home. The weight of what I had done crashed down upon me like a ton of bricks, the magnitude of the repercussions consuming my every thought. I grasped the gravity of the severe consequences awaiting me, the looming specter of retribution poised to strike."
"But it..." Charlie interjected, her voice filled with concern. "You were defending yourself from a sexual assault. That had to have been obvious, right?" Her words carried a mix of frustration and disbelief. The idea that Angel's actions might be seen as anything other than self-defense seemed incomprehensible to her.
She struggled to grasp how the situation could be misconstrued, how anyone could fail to recognize the necessity of Angel's actions. The thought of Valvano's vile intentions and the danger he posed to Angel made her blood boil. It was clear to her that Angel had acted out of desperation, fighting for his own safety in the face of a horrific violation.
"That wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference," Angel's voice growled, laden with bitter resentment. "Back in those days, they didn't give two shits about these things. Sweep it under the rug, pretend it never happened. Victims were left to rot, blamed for their own misery, or dismissed as mere domestic squabbles. Even if by some godforsaken miracle someone got convicted, it was nothing but a goddamn slap on the wrist. A sick joke, really."
His words carried the weight of a thousand grievances, a testament to the broken system they had endured. "But let me tell you, it wasn't just women who suffered. No, sir. Men had their own special kind of torment. We were supposed to be the goddamn dominators, invincible and immune to any violation. So if a woman dared to lay a hand on a man, it was twisted into some sick fantasy, like it was a fucking privilege. Disgusting."
There was a fiery rage in Angel's voice, fueled by the injustices he had witnessed. "Now, picture this: two men involved in such a case. The world couldn't handle that shit. They'd scoff, sneer, and attach that goddamn anti-gay stigma to it. 'Men don't rape other men,' they'd say with their smug faces, like it was an impossibility. And if you happened to be queer, well, brace yourself, 'cause they'd use that as an excuse to justify the goddamn horror inflicted upon you. The 'you had it coming' ridicule it was one hell of a shitstorm."
The anger in Angel's voice mingled with a hint of sorrow, the weight of the truth settling upon his shoulders. "So even if it was crystal clear that Valvano had some wicked intentions, and even if I was just defending my damn self, it wouldn't have meant a damn thing. The other families would have still seen it a murder, while methods woulda been taken to resolve the issue. No one woulda been satisfied until I had a bullet hole in my skull. 'Cause the fact that I felt I had to take a life, a man connected to other families, and my own family no less... Well, that would've set off a powder keg. Retribution, vengeance, all-out fucking war among the families."
His voice trailed off, a somber silence replacing the anger. "It's the harsh reality we lived in. A world where justice was a twisted game, where power and family loyalties trumped truth and humanity. The consequences would've been devastating, tearing through lives like a raging storm. That's the sad truth of it all."
