Chapter 3

Alina knocked nervously on the door to Nadia's room the following morning. It had been a long, sleepless night for her, and she was sure it had been worse for her friends fighting to save Nadia's life.

Tamar opened the door and greeted her with a gentle smile Alina didn't feel she deserved.

"How is she?" Alina asked.

"Well, considering. She's awake if you want to come in."

Alina did, and Tamar stepped back to grant her entrance. Genya was by the dresser, rolling fresh linen bandages for later. Adrik sat by his sister's bedside, and Alina found she couldn't look him in the eye. She tentatively skirted around the other side of the bed to get a look at her friend. Nadia was pale but awake, and she lolled her gaze weakly at Alina.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey." Alina took Nadia's lax hand in hers, eyes flicking to the bandages around Nadia's middle that were spotted with a little blood.

"Genya says I'll be fine," Nadia rasped, and it burned Alina like fire that her injured friend was trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry," Alina said earnestly.

Nadia gave a frail shake of her head. "You didn't choose this, so you can't blame yourself."

Alina ducked her gaze. She may not have chosen this specific cost of using merzost, but even if she had known beforehand this was where it would lead, she would have still chosen to do it regardless.

"What about the assassin?" Adrik spoke up.

"Tolya and Nikolai questioned her throughout the night and rooted out her co-conspirators," Alina answered. "They were arrested this morning."

It had created contention with the First Army generals, who viewed the soldiers' actions as defending Ravka and its king from a clear threat.

Alina sighed. "I had hoped to unite Grisha and otkazat'sya, but now it seems I've become a point of division."

"Don't give up," Nadia encouraged.

Alina squeezed her hand. "You just focus on resting and healing right now," she told her friend.

Nadia nodded, her eyelids drooping closed. She quickly succumbed to exhaustion, and Alina stayed for just a few more minutes before getting up and leaving.

Tolya was in the hall waiting for her, now attached to her hip as her bodyguard. He fell into step behind her as she headed down the hall, only to be met by Mal.

"May I have a moment with Alina alone?" he asked.

Tolya nodded and moved down the hall out of earshot.

"How's Nadia?" Mal asked.

"Recovering," Alina replied. She was grateful Baghra had given an amplifier to Genya.

Mal lowered his voice to just above a whisper. "You should tell everyone about using merzost."

She gaped at him. "Why?"

"It's the key to what happened to your summoning."

Alina once again bristled. "My summoning doesn't need to be fixed."

"Not even after what happened last night?" he retorted.

Alina flinched. Of course she was upset about Nadia, and it wouldn't have happened if people weren't afraid she was the new Black Heretic.

"After how badly you reacted, I'm not exactly eager to tell the others," she pointed out.

"What if it could help Nikolai?" Mal countered. "Merzost did that to him as well."

Alina bit her lip. She did want to help Nikolai, and if word got out about his own Shadow problem, she could just imagine how the people would react.

"All right," she agreed. "After Nadia is recovered, I'll tell them."

Mal huffed with that lingering disapproval, but he didn't say anything more about it.


"Nikolai."

He twisted and turned in the Fold again, the darkness churning all around him.

"Nikolai."

"Where are you?" he shouted back.

The nichevo'ya reared up with a grating screech, and Nikolai flung himself backward, paralyzed by terror. But the Shadow Monster immediately burst into mist and floated away.

"Find me," the voice called again.

Nikolai jolted awake at his desk and frantically patted himself down. He was still himself, and no shadows flitted out of the corners of his vision. It was the middle of the afternoon and he must have fallen asleep. He rubbed his hands vigorously down his face. He was so tired all the time, and his shoulder burned at a simmer constantly. The ache had also begun to spread through the rest of his body now too. He would have called Genya if she wasn't busy tending to Nadia.

He slumped forward with his elbows on the desk and thought back on the dreams that kept plaguing him. They were troubling to say the least, and he was beginning to wonder if there might be something more to them.

Coming to a decision, he got up and went to Nadia's room, waiting outside the door after knocking. Tamar answered.

"How is she?" Nikolai asked first.

"Better," Tamar replied. "Healing is slow, but she's doing well."

He nodded in relief; he knew how much his old friend cared for the Squaller. "Can Genya be spared for a meeting?"

"Sure. Now?"

"If that's doable."

Tamar leaned her head back into the room and called for Genya. A moment later, the Tailor appeared, and both women stepped out.

"If you'd rather stay with Nadia," Nikolai told Tamar, "I'd understand."

"Is this a group meeting?" she rejoined.

"Yes, but—"

"Nadia wouldn't have me forsake where I'm needed," Tamar finished with that tone of finality.

Nikolai gave her a grateful smile, and they started back toward his private study. Along the way, he snagged multiple servants to send for Alina, Tolya, Mal, Zoya, and David. They arrived first, and Genya turned to Nikolai with a frown.

"I've been so preoccupied with Nadia I'd forgotten to check on you. How's the pain?"

"You were understandably needed elsewhere," he replied. "And I'm learning to deal with the pain."

Her frown deepened. "You shouldn't have to learn to deal with it."

She strode over, hands raised to reach out with some healing, but for the first time, the touch of Grisha power erupted in his shoulder like acid. He jerked away from her with a start.

Genya froze in surprise and alarm. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing. A flare-up caught me off guard," he stammered.

She came closer again, and he couldn't help but reflexively tense. Again, he could actually sense her power making contact with his body, and something churned in his stomach in response. He tried to bear it but found himself abruptly recoiling again.

Tamar hurried over and placed a hand on his back. "Nikolai?"

"Sorry, sorry. We don't need to do this right now."

Genya's expression was very concerned, but they were interrupted by the others beginning to arrive.

"What's this meeting about?" Alina asked a touch warily once they were all assembled.

Nikolai swallowed hard as he rallied his nerve. "I've been having strange dreams," he admitted. "Of the Shadow Fold."

Alina and Mal exchanged a look. "What kind of dreams?" she asked.

"Of being in it. At first I thought they were just nightmares, but they keep happening, and every time something is calling to me." He hesitated, knowing how crazy this was going to sound. "I've been thinking I should go back there, to where the Darkling died. Maybe there's something there that can help me."

His friends, understandably, shared uncertain looks at that.

"There is nothing left out there," Genya put in sharply. "We burned Kirigan's body."

"But the location could still hold some significance, couldn't it?" Nikolai pressed. He was, after all, desperate for anything at this point. He sighed helplessly. "I know this doesn't make sense, but do we have anything else to go on regarding my…situation?" He looked at David, who regretfully shook his head.

"I'm afraid my research has not produced any potential leads," the Fabrikator replied. "I fear the only way to make progress at this point is to actually experiment with merzost, which…"

"Is not an option," Nikolai finished. "I know." He moved his gaze around at the others, expression open and asking for input. He noticed Mal giving Alina a very hard look, and she was glaring back at him, a muscle in her jaw ticking.

"I have something I need to share," she finally spoke, expression tight as she looked away from Mal and at the rest of them. "When I used the Firebird as an amplifier to bring down the Fold…Mal died. Nina couldn't restart his heart, so I did. Using merzost."

The shocked silence throughout the room was palpable at that revelation.

David let out a long moan as he shook his head in dismay. "The cost, Alina."

"I know," she snapped. "But I couldn't let Mal die."

Nikolai closed his eyes, reeling from this. Of course she couldn't have.

"Is that why you can't summon sunlight anymore?" Tamar asked.

Alina shrugged. "It's probably not a coincidence."

So it was not a mystery what had happened to her summoning…which meant there might not be anything that could be done about it after all.

"Back to the topic of traveling to the Fold," Tolya spoke up, turning to Nikolai. "You feel as though something is calling you there?"

He nodded.

"I don't like this," Zoya muttered. "How do we know it isn't some device of Kirigan's?"

"Kirigan is dead," Alina reiterated. "We all burned his body."

"I can't say with any certainty," Nikolai interjected. "But it doesn't feel like him. In the dreams, he appears for an instant before vanishing. And the voice that follows is…different. But I'm not advocating we go in without exercising extreme caution."

"I don't know much about Grisha power," Mal put in. "But I listened when Baghra spoke of the history of Morozova, and there is power in ancient places. It could be worth checking out at least. And David and Genya can continue researching here in case we don't find anything."

Nikolai met the tracker's eye and gave him a small nod of gratitude for his support.

"We'll come with you," Tamar declared with a shared nod from Tolya.

"Me too," Alina echoed.

"How do you intend to travel?" Zoya asked.

"The Kingfisher," Mal answered, but then caught himself, no doubt remembering Nadia wasn't well enough to accompany them.

"Looks like you'll need a Squaller," Zoya said.

Nikolai nodded. "Then prepare to leave within the hour. I'll tell the Council we're accompanying Alina back to the Fold in the hopes of finding answers about her powers." He shot her a quick look. "It's an explanation they'd accept."

She merely nodded in grudging acknowledgement, and then they dispersed.

Nikolai summoned the members of his Council to inform them of his departure, and he left detailed instructions to follow in his absence. Hopefully no disasters would strike while they were away. Then he packed a small knapsack with some supplies, strapped his pistol holster around his waist, and headed out to the sky ship.

It was good to be back aboard the vessel with the feel of the wind in his hair. Sturmhond may have been a part he played, but it was the closest one to freedom he'd worn over the years. As they sailed off into the air, Nikolai leaned his arms on the bulwark, weariness weighing him down.

Alina came to stand next to him. "Are you all right?"

He was quiet for a moment, debating his answer. "No," he finally said. "This—" he gestured to his shoulder, "—scares me," he admitted.

She reached over to take his hand. "We'll find a way to fix it," she promised.

Nikolai glanced down at their joined hands and couldn't help but feel uneasy. The Shadow inside him was the same as the one she now wielded. It was a connection he might have found more solace of shared commiseration in if Alina wasn't so…enthused about this change in herself. It frightened him to see it in her, made him worry about his own fate.

"What is that?" Mal abruptly said.

They turned to look out the port side where several shapes in the sky appeared to be flying straight toward them. At first they seemed like a flock of very large birds, but as they got closer, Nikolai saw sunlight glint off metal. He grabbed his nautical telescope and extended it. The sight that greeted him through the magnifying lens was something out of a mechanical nightmare—men with metal and canvas wings flapping as fast as a hummingbird's. They appeared to be covered in a thin metallic skin, save for their faces, which were gray like corpses but set with fierce intent.

"To arms!" Nikolai yelled and whipped out his pistol.

Tamar and Tolya drew their weapons. The strange men reached the ship and immediately careened toward the crew. The twins swung their blades, which glanced off the metal armor. Nikolai shot one of the monstrous men, but the bullet ricocheted, so he held his fire until he could find a vulnerable spot.

Tamar brandished her axes, but one of the flying men swooped down and caught her wrists. With a mighty flap of its mechanical wings, it lifted her up as though to carry her away. She gave a battle cry and managed to swing her legs up far enough to kick him in the sternum. He dropped her, and she landed hard on the deck with a roll. Nikolai scrambled over to her, wielding the butt of his pistol like a club to fend off another assailant.

The air suddenly shifted, and Nikolai caught sight of Alina sweeping her arms into an arc, gathering Shadow into a horizontal blade. She pushed it outward in the next second, the Cut slicing clean through two of the flying men. But it also clipped the mast, and the Kingfisher swung wildly to one side, throwing everyone off balance. Zoya had lost the wind as she hit the deck, though she quickly tried to get it back. But then one of the machines swooped by and grabbed both her wrists, immobilizing her summoning. She screamed as it took off with her.

Nikolai didn't think as he launched himself after them, throwing his arms around Zoya's waist to drag her back down. His boots hit the inner side of the bulwark, and he dug his heels in. But without a Squaller filling the sails, the ship lurched and tipped more violently, and Nikolai went over the side. Suddenly he was flailing far above the earth as he frantically scrabbled to hold onto Zoya tighter. The mechanical man careened away with his catch as behind them the Kingfisher took a nose dive toward the ground.