Chapter 9

Alina found herself standing in a void, almost like the Shadow Fold but not. There was no writhing mass of darkness, no sandy ground beneath her feet. Only obsidian glass and a sense of nothingness.

"Bold move, Alina," Kirigan's voice spoke.

She whirled to find him standing there, in his previous form.

"But it will do you no good," he went on. "I will not give up this body."

"It's not yours to keep," she spat back, then took a breath and tried to orient herself, now realizing she didn't truly know what she was doing. She craned her neck around, careful to keep Kirigan in her peripheral vision but also searching for Nikolai, only to come face to face with…herself.

This spitting image of her wore a black kefta with shiny satin black embroidery—the color of the Darkling.

"Now this is interesting," Kirigan murmured behind her.

Alina stepped back and to the side to keep both figures in front of her. "What is this?"

"Your destiny," her mirror image replied.

Alina glanced between this apparition and Kirigan. He had a fist tucked under his chin and was watching curiously.

"Don't look at me," he said, amused. "You subjected yourself to the same ritual you forced my hand into."

Alina turned back to her double. "I don't understand…"

"This is who we are now. Powerful. Respected. … Feared." She leveled a hardened look at Alina. "We will never be made a victim again."

Alina frowned.

"Now you understand," Kirigan interjected. "What I have told you from the beginning."

She shook her head in staunch denial and took a step back. "Stop it!" she yelled at him.

"He is nothing," the other Alina said. "You defeated the Black Heretic, the Darkling that subjected Ravka to four hundred years of terror. And now we will become more powerful than him. We will wear the crown he could never obtain."

Kirigan's expression darkened at that.

"We are the true ruler of Ravka," the black-clad Alina went on. "The Saint of Sun and Shadow."

Alina's heart was pounding against her ribs and echoing in her bones as she backed away. She understood now what the obisbaya was: the battle between the man and monster within. And in this case, the monster was her. Or what she would become if she fully embraced the Shadow.

Her future self stared her down as Alina retreated. She regretted coming here. All she'd done was expose herself in a place and manner where she had no backup.

A spot of eggshell-white and teal caught her eye, and she turned her head, her heart leaping into her throat. Nikolai lay on the ground several feet away. Alina ran to him, sliding to her knees next to him and grabbing his shoulders. He was deathly pale, and Alina didn't know how, but she could sense his soul was fading.

"Nikolai!" she called urgently, shaking him.

His eyelids opened and closed in sluggish repetition. "Alina?" he said weakly.

Her heart clenched. "Yes. I'm here. Stay with me."

Kirigan stalked over and smirked down at them. "You came all this way to save him, and for nothing."

"No!" Alina screamed. She turned back to Nikolai, whose eyes had slid closed once more and stayed that way. "No! Nikolai, you have to get up."

She tugged at his shoulders, but he was too weak to respond. His skin was taking on a translucent sheen, like he might disappear at any moment.

Alina managed to pull him partially into her lap where she clung to him desperately. "I'm so sorry," she wept. "If I had listened to everyone sooner, this wouldn't have happened. I was arrogant, and afraid, and the power I felt with the shadow summoning…it made me feel good. It made me feel like I'd never have to be the one who was afraid again."

She flicked a look at the Darkling version of herself, standing there with cool confidence, but there was no soul in her eyes, no heart. Looking at what she was on her way to becoming, Alina didn't see glorious; all she saw was Kirigan.

She turned back to Nikolai. "You have to fight him, Nikolai, please," Alina begged.

His eyes fluttered open again. "I'm sorry," he said, voice wafer thin. "I tried."

"I told you," Kirigan sneered. "The pretender to the Lantsov throne was no match for me. A pathetic otkazat'sya if there ever was one. He never deserved you, Alina."

Alina ignored Kirigan and cupped Nikolai's face. "You deserved more than me from the start," she said. "You gave me your name, your protection, your army, and would give me your crown, all because you love Ravka more than anything else you could ever want for yourself. Or let yourself want. 'A songbird in a golden cage,'" she quoted. "You deserve more, Nikolai. But more than that, Ravka deserves you. Ravka needs you."

His eyes shimmered as he gazed up at her.

Alina moved her hand to clasp his as tightly as she could. "I'm right here, Nikolai. You are not alone. Get up."

She saw him try, saw the earnestness in his eyes as he struggled to lift himself off the ground. He pitched to the side, and Alina braced him. She tried to help haul him up, but somehow in this strange place, he felt like he weighed ten times heavier than normal. Both to her and himself, by the looks of how hard it was for him. He was shaking all over by the time he managed to get up onto his knees, and even then he started to list forward again. Alina caught him, using her whole body weight to help hold him up. He continued to blink wildly, like he was disoriented. And then his brows furrowed when he spotted the other Alina.

"Uh, what's going on?" he asked quietly.

"We both have an inner demon to defeat," she told him. "But I'll help you if you help me."

He still looked confused, but then Darkling Alina was summoning up Shadow to surround them.

"Embrace who you are meant to be," she demanded.

Alina's chest hitched as the shadows swirled around her and into her lungs. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to resist, though she could feel the power seeping into her, reminding her how strong it was, how good it felt to not be afraid, to not be dismissed or cast aside like the pitiful orphan girl she used to be.

"You're more than sunshine, sunshine," Nikolai breathed in her ear. "Remember who you are. Not a Saint, not the Sun Summoner. Just the girl Mal fell in love with. And she had to be something special to win his heart."

Alina's eyes filled with hot tears at the mention of Mal. She'd been so horrible to him lately. All because of this power she didn't think she could let go. She didn't want to let him down, didn't want to lose him. And this was exactly the thing that kept bringing them back to this place where she had to face losing him, one way or another.

So Alina thought of him, saw him in her mind's eye. Not as the Firebird, but just Mal. The boy she loved. A shockwave of power exploded from inside her, driving back the shadows and unbalancing her evil twin. It wasn't shadow, or sun, just pure, raw force. It was the kind of strength and assurance Alina had felt after bonding with the Stag, but this time it didn't come from Grisha power or an amplifier; it came from her.

Alina looked up at Nikolai, still huddled next to her, and he gave her a wan smile full of pride.

Kirigan snarled in revulsion. "Who are you doing this for, Alina? Your tracker? You think you can be happy with him? You're wrong. You won't be able to stand becoming an otkazat'sya again. A nameless orphan. Which is what you'll be if you do this."

Yes, Alina knew this was the choice before her. And while a part of her did hate that she had to make it and would mourn the loss, she also knew this was the only way to end it for good.

She looked up to glare at Kirigan. "No matter how much power tempts me, I will always choose Mal and an ordinary life over you and everything you represent."

Kirigan's face twisted. "So be it, but you will not banish me."

Alina turned back to Nikolai and grabbed both his hands, raising them to press against each other's chests. "Trust me," she said.

His eyes were wide with fear and uncertainty, but he nodded.

Alina could feel the distant sensation of her physical body and the sacred thorns held at the ready. As Kirigan lunged for them, the two held tight and together stabbed themselves and each other.


Everyone stood around watching anxiously as Alina battled Kirigan in some unknown plane none of them could access. Mal hated it. They had no idea what was going on, no idea if Alina needed help. Not that they could offer any if she did.

Mal fidgeted, wondering if he should have insisted she use him as an amplifier again. Except, wasn't that the catalyst that had brought them all to this point?

"Hold still," Genya said, drawing his attention back to the present.

He glanced down at his hand as she finished weaving the torn flesh back together. When she was done, he flexed his fingers tentatively. It was as if the wound had never been there.

"Thanks."

Genya looked over at Alina. Streaks of blood were drying all over one of her hands that held a thorn. It needed healing, but the Tailor looked hesitant to interrupt whatever was happening. So she stayed put.

Tamar and Tolya were talking quietly with Zoya, something about her bonding with the dragon to become her new amplifier. Mal only distantly registered that must mean she'd killed Juris, though Mal remembered seeing the dragon injured by Elizaveta. He didn't really care about that right now, though.

Suddenly, Alina moved, stabbing the thorns into both herself and Nikolai. Mal's breath left him like a punch. There was no sound, no scream, but then black shadow came spilling out around the thorns. Everyone stiffened and shifted in alarm. But the shadows disintegrated into chaff as they rose up. A stream of inky brume made a faceless screech before also puffing out into nothing. Alina's arms fell, and so did she.

Mal darted forward to catch her, cradling her descent to the ground. "Genya!" he called anxiously as he reached to pull the thorn from Alina's chest.

The Tailor dropped down beside him, hands at the ready, and Mal removed the thorn. But there was no blood, and Alina's eyes abruptly flew open as she woke with a gasp. Genya frantically undid the top buttons of Alina's jacket to reach the wound, but all that was there was a scarred over mark in the shape of a star. Mal's breath left him in another whoosh, this time of sheer relief.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

Alina nodded jerkily. "Nikolai?"

Mal turned to look as Zoya moved her hands and pulled back the thorns that had bound the Darkling. Tolya and Tamar caught Nikolai as he fell limply, and they pulled the thorn from his chest. Again, there was no blood, and when they urgently cut open the black shirt, they found the same puckered scar, already healed.

"Is it gone?" Alina gasped.

Tamar pushed the shirt off Nikolai's shoulder to check the wound from the nichevo'ya. It was still raw and inflamed, but Mal couldn't see any black cracks under his skin like before. Genya wedged herself in and hovered her hands over Nikolai's shoulder and down his chest.

"There's no trace of Shadow or merzost that I can tell," she announced.

"Thank the Saints," Alina breathed.

"And Kirigan?" Nadia put in tautly.

Genya hesitated, seeming unsure.

"We all saw that, right?" Tolya put in. "It looked like it worked."

"It did," Alina said, suddenly sounding so tired. "I can tell."

She raised her hands as though to summon, but nothing happened. She looked up at Mal.

"I can't summon anything anymore."

His heart clenched, knowing how much being Grisha meant to her, but also relieved the taint of Shadow wouldn't continue to poison her heart and soul. He didn't say those things, though, just pulled her upright to hold her.

"Why isn't he waking up?" Zoya asked.

"I don't know," Genya replied. "He's very weak. I'm having trouble fully healing these wounds."

Unlike the thorn to the heart that had banished Kirigan's spirit, the other cuts and gouges from being restrained by the thorns were still fresh and bleeding.

Alina sat up, and Mal shifted his arm around her back for support.

"He was dying by the time I got to him," she said, distraught. "Please say I wasn't too late."

Genya's hands hovered over Nikolai's limp form. "His heart is slow but steady. He went through a major trauma. Not just the obisbaya, but being possessed by Kirigan in the first place. He likely just needs rest and staggered healing."

"Not here," Mal put in, which earned several nods of agreement.

"We can't go back to the Grand Palace like this, can we?" Adrik interjected. "The Apparat believes Alina is the enemy."

"If I present myself to him and the court without my powers, perhaps he will stand down," Alina replied.

"With the king in the state he's in?" Nadia added doubtfully.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Zoya said. "Right now we need to leave this accursed place."

Mal didn't really like the risk of heading back for Os Alta, yet they needed to get the king of Ravka safely back at the Grand Palace. Hopefully Nikolai would be awake and able to defend Alina…

David worked on fabrikating a stretcher from sand turned to glass, curving it so Nikolai could lay as securely and comfortably as possible. Meanwhile, Genya tended the stab wound in Alina's hand. When they were ready to go, the twins picked up the stretcher to carry, and they began the trek out of the Fold.

"Are you okay?" Mal quietly asked Alina, his arm still around her as they walked.

"I'm not sure," she admitted in a soft voice. She looked up to meet his eyes. "I don't regret it, though."

He gave a comforting squeeze, and she leaned into him.

They passed the scene of the battle with the Cult of the Starless Saint, with dozens of bodies scattered about. They all paused, and after a moment, Zoya summoned up wind and sand that swiftly buried them all and wiped away the scene.

Their horses were gone, either fled or stolen by survivors of the battle, so they had to continue on foot. It was slow-going, and Mal didn't know whether he hoped they'd come across a Ravkan battalion or remain hidden for a while yet.

"Stop," Genya called from where she was walking alongside the stretcher.

Tamar and Tolya set it down, and Alina hurried over. Nikolai's eyes were fluttering open as he finally regained consciousness.

Alina knelt on the ground and took his hand. "Nikolai?"

He blinked languidly at her, then breathed in a barely audible voice, "Thank you."

Tears welled in her eyes. "You saved me too."

Genya attempted some more healing. Mal watched as she partially closed some of the deeper lacerations but left the minor ones untouched.

"I'm going to put you in a deep, healing sleep, all right?" she told Nikolai.

He nodded weakly, looking like he was already slipping away again. With a few hand movements from Genya, he went utterly still. Then she stood and gestured that they could get going again.

They eventually had to stop and make camp for the night. Genya woke Nikolai, and he was able to sit up with some help. Unfortunately, they had no supplies and no means to hunt for food. Tamar and Tolya were the only ones who had water flasks on them, so at least they wouldn't get too dehydrated. Zoya went out and came back with a plentiful amount of berries and mushrooms, to everyone's surprise.

"Are you sure those are the safe kind?" David asked warily as she passed the food around.

"Positive."

"Since when are you good at foraging?" Nadia said skeptically.

"Since a dragon taught me Grisha can commune with all of nature," Zoya replied.

"I have to know more about that," Alina put in.

So now that they were all back together, they began to fill each other in on everything that happened—the complications in Os Alta after Kirigan had taken Nikolai and Alina's attempts to hold everything together; Zoya's experience in the Fold with Juris and how she had bonded with him and the dragon in the end; and also what Kirigan had been up to while possessing Nikolai.

"We'll need to send scouts to see if those pockets of the Fold were destroyed as well," Nikolai said. He'd been holding himself with rigid composure as he told his portion, and Mal could see he was trying to hide how haunted he was by it.

Tamar put her arm around Nikolai in comfort and reassurance, and Tolya rested a hand on his knee.

"What are we going to say when we return to Os Alta?" Nadia asked. "Yesterday, the king was seemingly well and at the Grand Palace, and his bride-to-be was being accused of heresy."

Mal's mouth tightened at that. How were they going to fix this?

"We will say the king was kidnapped by the Cult of the Starless Saint," Zoya said. "They hoped to lure Alina to them in order to convince her to become the new Darkling. Instead, she renounced Kirigan and her shadow summoning, rescued Nikolai, and is now no longer Grisha."

Everyone's brows arched at that, clearly impressed.

Nikolai smiled tiredly. "A brilliant spin, Nazyalensky, especially because, essentially, it is all true. That is exactly the tale we'll tell everyone."

They relaxed a little, now that they had a plausible explanation to fall back on.

Mal just hoped they got the chance to tell it before they were shot on sight.