The Fic Lab Prompt 9: Olympics
2028
"Emmett, what did you do?" Carlisle asks. Vampire memory means Carlisle can already recite the letter in his hands word for word, but he still can't stop reading it over and over. He just can't believe Emmett thinks this is possible.
"What'cha talking about, Carlisle?" Emmett tries to put on his most innocent expression, but he already knows what Carlisle is talking about. Alice warned him this morning that the letter was coming today. OK, so he knew Carlisle wouldn't be happy, but Emmett has it all worked out. He can do this!
Carlisle waves the letter in front of Emmett's face. "Emmett, you applied to swim in the Olympic trials? You cannot participate in them! How did you even get accepted? You have no history as a swimmer. This will raise so many questions."
Emmett smiles at Carlisle. He really doesn't think this is a big deal. "Come on, daddy-o. You know Jasper can get anything forged, even participation in regional races."
Carlisle is even more exasperated now. He loves his family and is so grateful for them, but sometimes he thinks back fondly on the years he was all alone. "Seriously, Jasper? Why would you help him with this? You know he can't actually participate in the Olympic trials."
Jasper grins, trying not to laugh. "I'm sorry, Carlisle. Emmett was just so excited that the Olympics are in Los Angeles this year. You know how boring eternity can get sometimes. We were just having fun. And Alice didn't see anything bad happening as a result of trying to get into the trials."
"I can't believe you sold me out, Jasper!" Alice gasps.
"Sorry, darlin'. I'll make it up to you," he says with a wink. "I just want Carlisle to understand we didn't go off half-cocked."
Alice can't really stay mad at Jasper, but she's worried Carlisle may be upset with her. More than anyone else in the family, Alice truly does think of Carlisle as a father and she hates to disappoint him. While he plays the father role to the outside world most of the time, the others, with the exception of Edward, view it as just that…a role. They all have memories of their human fathers, but Alice doesn't. Since those first visions of him when she woke up all alone as a vampire, Carlisle has been the only father she's known. Alice plans to talk to him one on one to sort this out as soon as he gets everything settled with Emmett.
Carlisle gives Alice a small shake of his head before he turns his attention back to Emmett.
"Emmett, you'd have to pass a physical and a drug test. You know that won't work. You. Are. A. Vampire! And do you really think the Volturi won't have something to say about this?"
Emmett is still smiling at him. "Seriously, Carlisle, I have it all worked out. First of all, there's no way those old farts keep up with the Olympics. They won't know about this. Second of all, did you ever see the movie Gattaca?"
Carlisle just grimaces in frustration. He loves Emmett, but he can be a lot of work with all of his crazy ideas. If vampires could physically get headaches, Carlisle would definitely have one right now.
"I'm going to take that as a no," Emmett continues. "So, in the movie, Ethan Hawke is a natural born guy in world full of engineered people and he has to hide that fact. So he hires Jude Law, an engineered guy with his own issues, to donate his blood, urine, skin cells…stuff like that. All I need is human blood and urine for any tests. And you have an endless supply of that at the hospital. Just make sure it's drug free, because I don't want to fail a drug test."
"Oh, I remember that movie. It was really good," Bella chimes in. "Jude Law was so hot in that movie, oh my god!"
"Ahem, I'm right here," Edward pouts.
"You know I saw that movie way before I ever met you, sweetie. No one compares to you. Not even Jude Law in his prime…though he may be a distant second."
"I'll accept that," Edward says as he wraps his arms around Bella and gives her a kiss on the top of her head.
"Who's Jude Law, mom?" Renesmee asks. "Was he really that cute?"
"Hey, I'm right here," Jake pouts, following Edward's previous example.
Now that Renesmee is fully grown, Edward is trying to accept Jacob more. It's still so weird to him that the guy who thought he was in love with Bella years ago is now the soul mate of his daughter. Edward tries not to think about it too much or he might go insane.
"Come on, Jakey, don't worry. You know I grew up so fast, I didn't get many teenage years to swoon over famous heartthrobs. I'm just living vicariously through my mom's memories," Renesmee says soothingly.
"Can we all just get back on the topic, please," Carlisle pleads. "Emmett, you cannot participate in the Olympic trials. I'm putting my foot down. This will not be conducive to keeping our secret. And I don't trust you to even attempt to go at a human pace if you are in a race. It would be a disaster. You are not doing it!"
Just then, Rosalie and Esme walk in. Esme caught the tail end of Carlisle's rant and is feeling confused, but worried about him at the same time.
"Are you okay, Carlisle? You look stressed," she asks lovingly.
Rosalie, however, is fully aware of what is going on. She knew it was a bad idea when Emmett and Jasper forged the paperwork and sent it in to USA Swimming. But she also knows that when Emmett gets certain crazy ideas in his head, he can be very stubborn. She figured Carlisle would stop it before it got too far. And it seems that time is now.
"Emmett, my monkey man, I told you this wouldn't work. A vampire cannot participate in the Olympic trials without raising a bunch of red flags. You know this, don't pretend you don't."
"But Rosie, I was really looking forward to it. I've even been practicing my strokes in the pool at the high school. Don't worry, Carlisle, I sneak in after hours so no one knows."
Rosalie puts her arms around Emmett's neck and gives him a kiss. "I know, honey. But you know deep down it will never work. But if you want, why don't we all participate in a Cullen Family Olympics, instead," Rosalie asks.
"Princess, that is an excellent idea! Who's in?" Emmett turns to ask the rest of the family.
The rest of the Cullens just groan, even though they are all aware that this is probably the start of many future Cullen Family Olympics.
