The Fic Lab Prompt #14: End of Summer
The sky is beautiful first thing in the morning. The rising sun adds a glow of pink and orange, turning the morning clouds into cotton candy. I'm going to miss these mornings, sitting on the deck of this cabin, drinking coffee and watching the sun rise over the lake.
This end of summer vacation has been the best way to say goodbye to my old life, good riddance, really, and hello to the start of my new one.
I planned on spending this time alone, two weeks of solitude with no one to worry about besides myself. As unaccustomed as I am to not having demands placed on me, I couldn't imagine a more peaceful way to spend my time.
Well, we all know what they say about best laid plans going awry. Because on my second night here at the resort, I met Edward. And all my plans of solitude turned to dust and blew away.
Not only is Edward great to look at, with his impossible to tame brown hair with blond and copper highlights, his vibrant green eyes, and his tall, lean body, he is also fascinating to talk to. I don't usually meet many men who have a grasp on literature as well as I do. It is my chosen field of work, after all.
We spent hours the night we met talking at the resort bar. About literature. About our pasts, my recent divorce and the death of his wife from cancer. About how to spend the rest of the night.
And while I had been looking forward to spending two weeks by myself, I couldn't deny myself the pleasure of his body for one night. But one night turned to more until we were spending the entire two weeks together. Two weeks, no pressure, no expectations.
This was my way to celebrate my divorce. After four long years of a tedious, unhappy marriage, one in which I always seemed to come in second to the wants of my ex-husband, I decided to finally treat myself. I would do what I wanted for once.
Edward, on the other hand, had said he'd been alone for two years, since the death of his wife. He hadn't been ready to get back on the dating scene. A two week, no strings attached fling was exactly what he needed to get over that hump, to give him the courage to start over again.
Two weeks…two glorious weeks, it turned out…and then we'd each go our separate ways. We don't even know each other's last names or where we live. We've explored the most intimate parts of each other, but I still don't know his last name. And I don't want to know. That was the deal.
I'm finally living my life by my rules, the way I want to live it, after years of one-sided compromise and putting everyone else's needs first.
Part of that consisted of moving to a new town the week before this vacation, and I'll be starting my new teaching job there next week . This new step in my life will give me the change to learn who I am again. Who I truly am, without the influence of another person.
I feel a shiver run through my body as Edward walks out onto the deck to join me. No one else has ever had this physical effect on me before. I wonder if I'm just imagining it.
"Morning, Bella. Why didn't you wake me?" he asks as he sits down next to me. I catch the last of his yawn as I turn to look at him.
"Good Morning, Edward," I smile at him. "You looked so peaceful sleeping there I didn't want to wake you. I just thought I'd take in the last sunrise before I leave here today. It's so beautiful and so peaceful. I'm going to miss it," I tell him.
"I'm going to miss you," he replies. "I don't want to give us up, Bella. I know we agreed no strings, but that was before I got to know you. I think we have something together. I think we could make this work, Bella."
"Edward, you only think you know me. We've been on vacation, this isn't real life. Of course it seems perfect here. We've had no other distractions. You haven't seen my cranky side, my overworked side. You don't really know me," I say with a laugh.
Edward smiles, even though he's trying to hide it. I can tell he wants me to take this more seriously. He takes a deep breath and lets it out before he continues.
"But I want to know those sides, too, Bella. I want to learn about all of you. I know I'm springing this on you at the last minute, but I can't just let you go without telling you how I feel. And I haven't felt anything since my wife died. Not until I met you. Do you really want to just end it like this?"
I see the earnestness in his eyes and my heart feels like it's breaking. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't feel like I have a choice. I've spent so many years putting myself second, I need to put myself first now and give myself time.
"Edward, I think I could have feelings for you, but I'm not ready yet. I need to discover who I am, on my own. I was in a marriage with a man who never appreciated me. I need to regain my sense of worth, before I can give myself to someone else. You've helped me rediscover some of my confidence, and I'll always be thankful to you for that. I just can't do more right now. I'm sorry," I plead for him to understand.
Edward gives me a sad smile, as he seems to reluctantly accept what I am saying. I don't know if I'll end up regretting this decision; it feels like the only one I can make right now.
Edward stands and pulls me up at the same time, wraps his arms around me and gives me one last kiss.
"I hate this, Bella, but I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. Just know, you've helped me as much as I helped you. I will cherish these two weeks we've had together always."
"Thank you, Edward. I will too," I say, and give him one last hug.
I feel a single tear run down my cheek as he walks out the door.
One week later and I miss Edward. I want to kick myself for not having enough faith in him…in us.
I'm starting to realize now that maybe I don't need to be alone to rediscover myself. Maybe a caring partner, one who only wants the best for me, would allow me to blossom into my best possible self. I think I could have had that with Edward. But there's nothing I can do about it now. I don't even know how to contact him.
So I put him out of my mind when I arrive at the small university where I am starting work today. We have a week before classes start for faculty meetings, policy reviews, and course preparation.
Angela Weber, the Dean of the English department, the one who hired me, walks me into the conference room where the rest of the department is waiting for our first fall-semester meeting.
"Hi, everyone. Welcome back for the new year. I'd like to introduce Isabella Swan, our newest professor of English Literature," Angela says to the group.
I look around and smile at all the new faces…and one not so new face. There, with his untamed hair and a dazzlingly smile of his own, is Edward. Professor Cullen, I quickly learn.
As I look into his mesmerizing green eyes, my smile widens. And though I'm talking to everyone in the room, it feels like I'm speaking only to him when I say "I'm so excited to be here."
