The fresh scents of spices and fruit entered her nostrils. The sounds of people opening their stalls and animals filled her ears. The marketplace. A place where she and Aladdin would go on dates and spend time together. She remembered when Aladdin would teach her about the area and give her tours all the time. And she loved every part of it. It would be alone time for them. Only this time she was completely alone. Just her and her thoughts. Jasmine looked around and then sat down on another bench nearby. For a while she watched the citizens of Agrabah. She smiled as the memory of her entering the marketplace for the first time filled her mind.
All of a sudden men and women started shouting to get more attention to their stalls. She didn't think much of it until she noticed a voice calling for her. It took a while for her to notice due to her tiredness but when she did she turned her head toward the sound.
"Would the lady like a dress? A pretty dress for a pretty lady," a man's voice called.
"Or how about some fresh fruit. A sweet food for a sweet lady," another called.
She giggled at the way they talked and signaled for her. But in the end she declined their invitations. Ready to spend the day alone Jasmine walked away from the bench and into the city. Jasmine had decided when she was eating the rice cakes her day would be spent exploring the city. Besides, her memory was fading of the layout of the city. She knew there was a poor area of the city and small shops scattered about. But she couldn't for the life of her remember where. The princess knew that Aladdin lived on the outskirts of the poverty side. At least she thought.
She shook her head and ruffed a part of her hair. The princess coughed and then took a left into a small shop. The doorbell rang and then shortly she was met by a young lady. From the scents alone she could tell she had walked into a candle shop.
"Why hello there! Welcome to Arabian Scents! Are you looking for anything specific?" a lady greeted her.
"Oh just looking around," Jasmine responded.
"Well spend as much time as you need. I will tell you I'm new to owning a business so I'm fuzzy in some areas,"
The princess laughed at the last bit. Jasmine took the time to pick up and smell each one of the candles. Though it was a small shop, not one square inch was wasted. Shelves were spaced out along the long narrow walls with stacks of candles to accompany them. In front were the names written in elegant pen-menship and the prices on the back. She smiled as she sniffed every single one of them. Each scent had its own unique smell and reminded her of her garden.
Eventually she picked up one named, "Jasmine Petals". She pulled the candle up to her nose. When she turned it around for a price she was surprised to be met by a portrait of her. The princess was at a loss of words at the woman who was staring back. The woman in the portrait looked happy, innocent, at peace. Jasmine sighed.
"Oh that's a best seller," the owner told her as she walked around a corner.
"Oh really?"
"Yes,"
Jasmine paused and thought for a long time whether or not to ask the question she was dying to ask. But she knew in the end to the owner of the store she was a complete stranger and would probaly forget about her.
"Uh… what do you think about the princess?" Jasmine mumbled.
"What?"
"What about the princess?" Jasmine repeated.
"What about her?" The women asked, confused.
"What do you think about her? Like haven't you heard what's been going on?"
The two women stared at each other for a while. Then the owner spoke.
"Well you're not the first one to mention her… but I will say that I'm not completely credible for what's been going on. I have heard that she's been struggling with some sort of mental disorder and isn't doing too well." she responded.
Jasmine knew she had to respond quickly or else the women would get suspicious. "What about the disorder?"
"I- I can't answer that,"
"Please just tell me what you know," she begged.
"Why do you need to know? Especially from a nobody like me,"
"Well first off you're not a nobody. And second, I haven't been out much and this news is completely new to me. I didn't know anything about what's been going on until I overheard it in the marketplace," she lied.
"Well I did hear that she vomited in front of the entire marketplace or something. Poor girl has a lot to catch up on," she said.
"Do you think she can do it?" Jasmine asked concerned.
"Oh of course she can. The princess has a strong spirit and she can handle anything. She wouldn't give up on her people and especially herself that easily,"
"What makes you say that?"
"Well she handled the preparation and planning to finally fix Agrabah's foundation. I mean usually it takes weeks or months to plan that," The women picked up a candle of Jasmine Petals and smiled, "It only took her about a week… and I am ever so grateful,"
Jasmine gave a confused look. The women had gone silent. Then she spoke.
"I've always had a talent for candle making but I just never could show anyone. I've dreamed of opening a business one day but I never could find a place to settle. Until the princess finally stood up and did something her father would have never…"
The princess smiled as listened as the women rambled on and on about her store. A feeling of happiness and belonging coursed through her.
'So all that work was worth it. ' she thought.
So many words ran through Jasmine's mind of how to respond but in the end all she managed was, "That was nice of her…"
Jasmine sniffed the candle in her hand and then sighed. The owner stayed silent for a moment before finally asking.
"So uh are you wanting to buy that candle in your hand?"
"Oh yes please,"
Jasmine walked over to the counter and pulled out the bag of coins. After paying she smiled one last time at the woman and walked out of the store. The bright light from the sun shone down on her brown cloak. For a moment Jasmine felt at peace with the world and herself. She finally didn't have to keep asking herself whether or not her action even made a difference. For now all that mattered was that she made a difference for that one person. Today she had figured out that she made a difference and accomplished her main goal of running away. And it was only morning. She had a whole day ahead of her.
However the conversation took more out of her than she thought and she could feel herself tiring every step she took. Thankfully though she knew just the place to go for something to wake her up. The next detour of hers would be down the street and to the left. At least that's what she remembered. After some walking she had finally made it. Right in front of her was a place that she and Aladdin would always go during their marketplace dates. In fact it would be one of the last places they would go. She looked at the sign and then walked inside.
"Why hello there. What might the young lady like from our wide array of desserts," the man asked.
Jasmine looked at all of the deserts for some time. Before she was about to just order tea her stomach growled loudly which caused a rush of pain to consume her. She grabbed her stomach and groaned silently, trying to not make a scene. However it was too late and the man looked over confused. When she looked up the man gave a worried look.
"Oh poor girl you must be starving,"
Jasmine looked at him confused before she looked over at the mirror off to the side. It was then when she realized what he meant.
"Your cheekbones are a clear indication you must be starving. Here have a seat and I'll bring some pastry over. And don't worry, it's all on the house," he quickly told her.
Jasmine was quick to decline though.
"Oh no no I'm fine. I have money and I'm not hungry-" but before she could finish she was pulled over and forced to take a seat. Though she was unhappy of getting exposed by starving she was more focused on the kindness the man displayed. As far as she knew he perceived her as a street mouse. The constant coughing didn't help either.
"Are you sure sir? I have money," she suggested.
"Oh no- no it's fine. Go ahead and drink some water. I'll be back with a loaf of bread," he said.
When he set the bread down in front of her she expected herself to just stare at the food. She expected herself to have a breakdown and cry. However she found herself eating one slice after another. It wasn't fast but she ate a pace she was comfortable with. Even better, she didn't have someone constantly watching over her like a hawk, just waiting to critique her for not eating enough. The feeling didn't last long though because soon the man came over with a bowl of porridge. Inside she cringed at the idea of eating the moist mush that was porridge.
"Here you can have this to,"
Before he walked away Jasmine sat up and attempted to speak. But her dry throat forced her cough instead. The man looked over concerned.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked.
"Why not?"
"Well cause I'm a street mouse, I'm worth nothing and you could have easily shooed me off," she hated referring to herself as such but she knew he most likely saw her as one.
"Well I have a soft spot for people like you. I grew up on the poverty line when I was young and constantly went to bed hungry since no one would give me food. I was refused food and hurt over and over again. So I'm making a promise to myself to never let that happen to any child that I know of," once he was done speaking he sat down in front of her.
"I'm so sorry that must be so hard,"
"Don't lose sleep over it, ok honey. Besides I'm better now with my shop and all,"
"Really? Is it doing that well?"
"Yes! Customers come in every minute it feels like. I even got recognition from the Prince and Princess!" he boasted.
"That's awesome. You sure do have a great future here," she complimented.
"Oh now don't forget yourself. I can see you have a bright happy future in front of you. Just promise yourself that you won't let the heartless vendors out there get the best of you. And trust me they will. I know from experience," the man laughed.
"But what if they just see me as a nobody? Someone they can just use as an escape for their hatefulness?"
"Just look at Prince Aladdin. Everyone saw him as a nobody and look at him now. He's with the princess living the life. If you should look up to anyone it should be him,"
Jasmine smiled and took a bite of bread. She really hadn't thought of looking up to Aladdin as a role model. It seemed like at times she was one to him more than anything. She was conflicted. He had lied to her before and said things she would never forget. But in the end she knew she was being extremely hypocritical. Besides, she was his wife. Of course she needed to look up to him, at the least support him.
"I mean like he did lie to the princess and put the entire kingdom at risk. But nobody's perfect. That's just the beauty of being human. We all make mistakes and you know, that's ok. As long as we learn that's what matters,"
"I guess you're right," she mumbled.
"Well it was nice to meet you but I have to go take a order,"
She smiled back and sat up from the table. For now she was full and was ready to leave. Jasmine looked back one last time at the man and giggled when he gave her a wink. She smiled and then left the store. She never thought someone so wise could be hidden in plain sight.
Although she wanted to last the day, the few hours of sleep were catching up on her. She could feel her heavy eyes tiring and her weak legs giving weight. Unfortunately the bread and water did no good to wake her up. While she hated the idea of going back to the hovel it was the only way. It wasn't even noon and the princess felt exhausted. Too exhausted to feel comfortable. She had barely managed to make it through the conversation just a minute ago.
Jasmine sat down nearby to catch her breath. Just a minute ago she felt like she belonged. Not a sad excuse for a life, not someone who was just existing day to day. An actual human being with feelings and thoughts. Now she felt lost. She knew she couldn't make it through the day but she knew if she went back to the hovel she would most likely be found. The princess knew that she wasn't ready to go back. She just needed more time away to sort her thoughts.
A thought remained constantly swirling in her mind. The more she thought of it the more she talked herself into believing it was true.
"They're gonna find me…" Jasmine whispered to herself.
Jasmine knew that her family would eventually notice she was gone. At first running away felt like a good idea. But now she found herself regretting it all. The more she waited to go home the more worried her family would become. The thought of family yelling and ridiculing her again was the one reason holding her back. But she knew deep down that it was because they loved her.
A rat scurrying by her brought her out of her thoughts. She shook her head, coughed and then brushed herself off. She stood up slowly and then walked away from the street. Jasmine hoped she would also walk off her stupid idea. Of course she was happy she escaped and no way was she going back now. Jasmine breathed out deeply and ruffled her hair. She had just experienced another episode of being lost in thought.
Jasmine made up her mind. She would be going back to the hovel and resting. It was risky but it was her only choice. The princess couldn't afford passing out in front of people or in an alleyway. After some walking she found herself back in the marketplace. Now that it was mid morning Jasmine found herself in the middle of rush hour. At times she found it hard to keep up. The constant walking of people and yelling made her almost bump into many. Though she found it relaxing in a way that she was now part of what made her kingdom so great. She was in the middle of the mixed culture and diversity that made Agrabah what it was. The sight of bright colors, scents of food, but most importantly the people.
Most of all she was nobody to those around her. With her cloak and her appearance it was almost impossible to tell she was the princess. To the people it was an average day. To her it was the first time in a while she was experiencing life. Life as she once knew it. A while ago she thought of life as nothing but a chore. But now standing in a regular person's shoes watching as the day unfolded she started to get it.
As she walked back to the hovel yawning she began trying to piece together the day. It might have only been a few hours but to her it was hours she needed. Jasmine walked up the many stairs to the hovel and sighed. When she made it to the top Jasmine set her candle down and began to make a makeshift bed for herself.
While she did the thought of the day and what she had experienced started to make sense. If she were to give up she would be missing out on life. She would be missing out on what she loved most. Jasmine loved being a princess and helping her citizens. She loved receiving and being kind to everyone and those around her. And she loved Agrabah and most importantly who she was as a person.
Although she started to understand, her flu and a few hours of sleep were catching up on her. Once she was finished she collapsed into the softish cushions her heavy eyes startled to close. She pulled her cloak and blankets tightly around her before drifting off to sleep.
Jasmine awoke to the sun shining down on her late one evening. The first thing that ran through her mind after a surge of pain was the thought of food and water. Her throat was sore from being parched and her stomach ached for food. She was thankful that she hadn't thrown up the bread and rice cakes she had eaten before. However it seemed like not even a small snack was enough to keep her strained stomach at bay.
After some time of groaning the princess opened her tired eyes. The first thing she was met by was a flock of doves flying by quickly and then Agrabah. She smiled at the sight of her magnificent kingdom before her. For a while the princess rested as she watched her kingdom at work. From above she could see the marketplace, shopping area, and faint outlines of people. Her smile faded when she laid eyes on the palace. All her happy thoughts disappeared as the image of her family and friends entered her mind. She imagined them going on with their day with not a care in the world their princess was on the entire other side of the kingdom.
Jasmine's stomach growled. She moaned one last time before slowly sitting up. Her back ached and cracked as she stretched it. Her eyes corrected to the new sight of the hovel. And her whole entire body readjusted to waking up from a long night's rest. She yawned one last time before grabbing a bag of coins and brushed herself off. Jasmine looked over at a broken side mirror, fixed herself, and then walked down the stairs. Unaware she had slept through two days.
As she entered the marketplace all seemed normal. Everyone was doing their usual shopping and it seemed that nothing was going to go wrong. After walking up to a vendor and buying a pear her attention was brought somewhere nearby. There to her left was surprisingly a palace guard. It took her a while to realize it wasn't just any palace guard, it was the head of them all. Razoul. Panic swept in and she was about to run before the vendor stopped her.
"Don't worry young girl. You paid for your food and he's not going to take you away," she reassured.
Jasmine wasn't moved at all by her. She wanted to quickly disappear in the crowd but instead she was forced along with other market goers. Soon Jasmine found herself mixed in with a group of people all crowded around him. She knew along with many others with her that he had something important to say based on his worried look.
"Greetings people of Agrabah! I am here to inform all of you that two days ago the princess was discovered missing," As he spoke, many people around her gasped and covered their mouths. Jasmine's heart skipped a beat when she heard him say two days ago.
'Had I really slept for two days straight?' she wondered.
"If you see a young, black haired, malnourished girl please inform the palace immediately. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day," he finished.
Jasmine could feel herself begin to panic. Her breathing began to uneven and she could feel her legs weaken. She didn't have much time to panic because soon she found herself immersed with new market goers. Taking a bite of the pear to ease her stress the princess continued her way further into the marketplace. She passed the same candle shop a couple days prior and entered another shop to escape from the busy streets.
After examinings some nearby shelves and the cozy decor she soon made it out to be a bookstore. Fit for a study session or a quiet evening. The store was decorated with candles and classic Arabian decor.
"Are you looking for anything particular?" an old man asked.
Jasmine assumed he was the store owner based on his badge. She smiled at the man and shook her head.
"Now I usually don't allow food but you don't seem to be doing much harm," he told her.
She looked down at the half eaten pear in her hand and gasped, "Are you sure?"
"Oh it's fine. Just last time kids came in here and ruined some new arrivals,"
"I'm sorry about that,"
"It's not the end of the world,"
Jasmine smiled and then made her way down another row of books. It wasn't until she reached the mental health section her interest peaked. She knew she had one, but she just didn't know why. Just a few months ago she felt fine. The best she had been ever since she was born. She was going on adventures with Aladdin, taking part in politics, and had their wedding half a year ago. She had the picture perfect life. Until she tried to do too much. Jasmine felt a course of anger rush through her as she thought of herself back then.
"What were you thinking Jas? You were perfect and you just had to go and ruin it…" she whispered.
Jasmine picked up a book about eating disorders and then another about depression. This was the moment she could actually learn what was going on with her. Jasmine knew that she would much rather learn it from a book than from a stranger she had been forced to meet with.
"Are you wanting to buy those?" the old man asked.
Jasmine was about to say no. But a gut feeling in her heart told her yes.
"Yes please,"
The man picked up the two books and walked her over to the counter. She threw the leftover pear in the trash and then pulled out her coin bag to pay. After paying the man gave her a concerned look.
"What peaks your interest in this? You've been going through some stuff," he asked.
"I guess you could say that…" she said quietly.
"Well that's sad. These things are really what can get a person down. Trust me I've seen it,"
"Really?"
"My daughter went through it when she was in her teen years. But thankfully with help she's doing better. If you want a recommendation, a really good therapist here Ferreh who works for Better Wellness is a really good one. She helped my daughter when she really needed it," he explained.
"That's nice,"
"Of course. Enjoy your day and your books,"
Jasmine smiled and then walked out of the store. The princess found herself yawning and coughing as she walked through the city. It became apparent after a coughing fit the two days of rest had not done any good to cure her flu. She still felt tired as ever and weak. Jasmine took a moment to sit down on a bench and collect her thoughts. From where she was sitting she could see a side view of the palace. Her heart yearned for Aladdin or someone to find her and comfort her. While she did like being away from the palace she couldn't help but feel alone. For the first time from the first day she escaped the palace she was truly on her own. She didn't have servants or any of her friends to comfort her if something went wrong. She had no one to lean on and was left on her own to figure things out.
A never ending amount of loneliness engulfed. More than she had even before she met Aladdin. At least she had Rajah and somewhat her father. But now she had no one. All she had now was herself, depression, and an eating disorder. She sighed when she looked back up at the palace. Now that she knew that her family had discovered her missing, she couldn't help but wonder what was going on inside the palace.
She wondered if Iago was balling again. She wondered where Carpet and Genie were. Most of all though she wondered how her father and Aladdin were reacting. Mostly Aladdin. She knew her father was probably freaking out and not in the best of moods. She knew her father well enough to know he was probably losing sleep over this. However Aladdin was different. They had left off on bad terms and she didn't know whether or not Aladdin was feeling any type of emotion. Jasmine couldn't shake off the horrible feeling that Aladdin didn't care. The image of him saying that she deserved it haunted her. Did he even care? Was he out looking for her?
As much as the princess wanted to head back to the hovel she knew that it was too risky. She had promised herself that she would only use it as a safe place to sleep. So for now she would have to spend the day out and about.
For the rest of the day Jasmine wandered around the market, went in and out of shops, and sat on benches. It was a boring day with not much interaction. She knew that she had to be careful around people now that everyone knew she was missing. Anytime she saw a palace guard she was quick to retreat inside a crowd. Though she couldn't help but overhear the conversations that many were talking about her. She had expected them to be disappointed or even mad at her. But instead they showed signs or concerns and worry in their voices. Though it didn't help convince her to turn herself in. Jasmine knew when it was ready. Right now she was not.
It was night and the princess was in the hovel. Lit by the candle the princess sat in the stone hovel thinking about what to write. While shopping she bought another journal and pen. As she looked at the blank page she couldn't help but still feel upset at the loss of her first one. She could feel her tired eyes grow heavy. Throughout the day she found it hard to stay awake and alert. Her head hurt more as the day went on and the same could be said for her stomach. She had opted out of dinner or any snack, only feeding on a single pear. The princess looked at the palace and watched as slowly the lights blew out.
The image of Aladdin sleeping alone in bed without her and her father worried sick wouldn't escape her mind. She imagined Rajah at the foot of her bed and Iago perched alone. Jasmine hated herself for what she had done to her friends. She felt selfish and a way and scared. Jasmine looked back at the journal and then began writing.
It's been some time since I've written. My last one got thrown away and I'm still not too happy. Though that's not the main priority. Right now I've run away and I am not not going back. At least not now. It's nice not getting yelled at and not having a tiring routine everyday. It got emotionally and physically draining at times to the point where I just wanted to give up. No one understands me! No one! Well at least my family. I've actually met a lot of really nice people. From the bakery owner to a random vendor. They've all been really nice and talk to me like I actually have feelings. It was refreshing to say the least. But no matter how many kind interactions I have or time away from the palace can shake off the feeling of being alone. The loneliness is by far the worst part of this whole thing. For the first time I don't have anyone to fall on. Anyone to comfort me. Sure I guess I didn't have it before but at least we were in the same space. Now I'm all the way across the city. Even worse they know I've gone missing and they are right on my tail tracking me down. It's only a matter of time before I'm found and I'll have to face the consequences. I'm not ready to go back, mainly for that reason. I don't want to get yelled at again. There's only so much yelling someone can take and I crossed that line long ago. I'm just not ready. I'm scared. I'm scared to go back home cause then I'll go back to being yelled at and go back to the stress of living up to being a princess. I can't escape it! If I go back I'll be stuck to how I was but if I stay here I'll be forever lonely. I'm just TRAPPED! I can't escape this Allah Forsaken disorder! I just can't and it's going to end me!
Jasmine could feel herself tearing up as she wrote. If she couldn't say it to someone the least she could do was write about it. She ignored the painful cramping of her hand and continued to just write her heart out on the paper.
It's not fair! I had everything! THE PERFECT LIFE! And then it just had to all disappear and crumble right underneath me and NOBODY CARES! I just want to give up. I want somebody… I just want Aladdin… I want him to hug me and say he's sorry for me. I want us to go back on dates and have an actual relationship. I just want to be like we were before. Equals and not rivals… I don't want to be here. I want to be home. I hate this stupid idea of leaving. This was an awful decision and I should have known… I deserve everything that's coming to me…
Through tears the princess finished. By the time she had finished she had written a whole two pages of just words. But to her it was enough. If she wasn't found at least they could read this. She groaned and moaned as her head and stomach ached. The illness was now taking its toll and she found herself in the fetal position crying on her makeshift bed. Jasmine hated herself right now. She hated the pain, her decision to run away, and everything. It was clear that she was not in the right mindset running away. She should have listened to Rajah and walked back. She should have just accepted the help and not run away for the fortieth time. Maybe it was in her best interest to stay in the palace and just put up with the routine.
Now the princess had run away from home and was too scared to return. The whole day had finally taken its toll and the princess found herself now over a clay pot exiting the little food she had eaten again. She let out whimpers and cries as the pain took over. She wished Aladdin was there above her comforting her. But no… she had thrown that away for the stupid decision to run away. Jasmine cursed herself. If she wanted alone time she should have just locked herself in the closet. Or just lock her bedroom. But instead she had run away causing an overwhelming amount of pain for her family. Once finished she wiped her mouth with her cloak and blew out the candle. Jasmine laid down on the makeshift bed and immediately once her head hit the pillow she fell asleep. All she could do now was wait to see if someone would find her and save her from the awful situation she had put herself in.
