The Fic Lab Prompt #26: "I wish the way I feel about you was enough for us to be together."

This is a prequel to my September 2021 Song to Story Contest entry, "Photographs", which can be found as Chapter 23 of this Musical Interludes series of one-shots.


I can't believe it's come to this. No matter how much I love her, no matter how much it breaks my heart, I have to tell Bella it's over. I always thought we could ignore the outside influences and survive anything as long as we did it together. But sometimes, love isn't enough.

I think back to my first meeting with Bella. I was visiting Midnight Sun Gallery. It's my dream to exhibit my photographs there one day. I was walking around viewing the current exhibit when Bella first caught my eye. Being an artist, I notice colors and Bella was vibrant with them - the red highlights in her thick brown hair, the yellow sundress she wore adorned with pink flowers, the bright white of her sandals, and the light blue of her clutch. That was all before I noticed her beautiful face with her sweet smile and deep chocolate eyes. She was stunning and put the art hanging on the walls to shame. I wanted to view her through my camera lens, taking picture after picture. I could do an entire exhibit of only her.

When I found out she was a Swan, I almost walked away then and there because she was too good for me. She joked that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be and I saw a sadness in her expression that made me realize she might not have been joking at all. She looked a little lost and I was happy I was the one that found her.

Even so, I've always known I'm not good enough for Bella Swan. I have struggled my entire life, scraping by, barely surviving sometimes. But I've allowed myself to live in the fantasy that Bella and I could be everything for each other. She makes me feel rich and I don't need anything else as long as I have her.

I convinced myself I was giving her as much as she was giving me. We'd tell each other our secrets as we lay in bed after making love. She would tell me of her loneliness growing up…that while she may have had everything she ever needed, she didn't have anything she wanted. Until I came along. I finally gave her life meaning she said. That being with me was worth more than a big house and dinners at fancy restaurants. I wanted it to be true so much that I never questioned what she said. I never wanted to think about what she was giving up by being with me.

Until Bella's father called me in - summoned me, actually - to his office in the city today. Charlie Swan, CEO of Swan Industries, is an intimidating man in the best of situations, but seated behind his large decorative wooden desk, wearing what must be a $3,000 suit, staring at me with a look of disappointment, it took all my effort to keep my eyes locked on his. He'd made it clear that he expects more for his daughter than a struggling artist in a second-hand $50 suit. He will never accept me in Bella's life. I tried to argue with him, to convince him how much I love Bella, that no one will ever love her as much as I do. But he didn't care about that. He has other ambitions as far as Bella is concerned.

He even offered me money to leave Bella alone. He'd pay for a photography exhibit for my work. He'd put me on the payroll of Swan Industries' marketing department as their resident photographer. Charlie Swan doesn't know me at all if he thinks I'd give up Bella for money. She's my angel and my muse, worth more to me than any amount of money he could pay.

But then he brought out the big guns, telling me I was hurting Bella. That I was dragging her down and robbing her of opportunities she'd never get to experience if she stayed with me. Deep down I knew he was right and it was at that point I lost my resolve. I've been living in a fairy tale with Bella thinking I could be enough for her. She deserves so much more, though. She deserves everything I can't give her. And I refuse to be the reason she doesn't get it.

I finally agreed but I told Charlie I didn't want anything from him. I won't take his money to break his daughter's heart. I'm going to do that all on my own. I've worked it all out in my head. The only way to convince Bella to leave me is to lie to her. I have to tell her that she's no good for me, that I need to make my art my priority if I'm going to get anywhere. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for the hurt I'm about to cause but I believe with all my heart this is the best thing for her. I need to believe this is the best thing for her.

Oh, Bella, I wish the way I feel about you was enough for us to be together.


AN: I'm not really sure how I feel about this one. It might be too wordy or clunky but I'm posting it anyway just to have everything together in one place.