Chapter 15: Acceptance

A/N: Thank you very much for your kind review, Soaring Hawk1! :-)

Today's vocab information: I made up the name for Thorek's pet set'leth. I found kheshoe (Romulan type of nuts) on a German website on Romulans. Maybe based on cashew nuts?

Enjoy! :-)


Three months passed, and the weather became less hot and humid. Asha made further progress in her language studies, got to see more of the city and became an avid hiker. She recovered her strength thanks to Doctor Metak's iron treatment, and as she slowly got used to Romulus, her periods began to sort themselves out, too. She accepted that her homsesickness and longing for her family and friends would always remain. She also accepted that it was up to her to overcome such feelings of despair and discouragement. It was a time of acceptance, the one Christine had mentioned.

Sometimes, when she conversed with Thorek, Asha would mention her Human friend André Schmitt. The individual who had taught her to drive like a daredevil and with whom she had been working on her holonovel project. The one who would unfailingly elicit a smile or a chuckle from her. Thorek grew increasingly curious about this friend who was so many light years away but who held a permanent place in Asha's affection and memory. He wondered how to find out more about him without prying.

Finally, he asked her when they were having supper together: "Do you have pictures of your life on Earth? Such as of your family and friends like this André you often mention?"

"Yes, I do. Would you like to look at them?"

"I would be very interested."

"Sure. I'll show you after supper. And I would like to see some of your pictures. Kihika told me you used to have a pet set'leth when you were a boy."

Thorek's ears turned a little green. He actually looked shy. "It would be a pleasure." He paused. "I was devoted to Shah'ko. Did you grow up with a pet?"

"A cat called Lucy. I've got a picture of her."

After finishing their meal, Thorek followed her to her bedroom.

She opened one of the cupboards and took out a large box. Its contents had been in her suitcases when she had been kidnapped from the space station where she had been conducting her holonovel research. It seemed so long ago.

She flipped up the lid of the box and extracted a photo album with printed pictures – a relic from the 21st and 20th centuries containing pictures of her ancestors, and a digital photo frame. They went through the pictures together, including nature photographs she had taken. Several were of Lucy the cat. He was genuinely interested in them, asking her questions about life on Earth.

He studied the picture of her parents carefully. Asha's mother had gifted her daughter with her luxurious thick hair and delicate face while the shape of Asha's eyes and her nose were her father's. Both of them had dark brown eyes. There was not the slightest hint that their daughter would be born with such a unique pair of eyes.

Finally, they reached a picture that showed a man with long messy purple-dyed hair and Asha next to him. They were standing in front of a huge building and grinning widely into the camera. Next to them was a turquoise bicycle.

"That's André," she said, beaming. Thorek noticed that their arms were around each other. André was wearing a leather jacket and the same kind of blue trousers Asha had been wearing when he had seen her for the very first time. According to Asha, they were called jeans. Asha herself was in a t-shirt, shorts and sneakers.

"He is wearing nose jewellery like you," Thorek observed.

"Yes, he could really pull it off. It looked sexy on him."

"Sexy? As in, sexually attractive?"

"No, not quite." Asha frowned. "Good question, actually. It depends on the context. In this case, it just suited him so well that it seemed like it was made for him. From my point of view. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, I understand. Does the purple hair have a special significance?"

Asha grinned. "Not really. He always liked to experiment with dyeing his hair. And his bicycle was not originally turquoise. It was blue. He always said he wanted to improve on the original. I helped him with the paint job, so you're seeing our labour of love."

Thorek studied the picture closely.

"Did you share living quarters?"

"No, we each had our own flat. Quarters, if you will. We would run round to each other's place a lot, though - we were discussing about co-writing a military holonovel."

"A military holonovel?"

She grinned again. "We always had too much imagination."

"This is the holonovel which resulted in your kidnapping?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You were dragged into the mess, too. You know, I was scared that you might abuse me and force children on me, or, uhm, kill me in the middle of the night."

"That, though most unflattering, is very understandable. Violence sickens me. My parents spoke out against the violent practices of the Tal Shiar. The Tal Shiar is the embodiment of our society paranoia. And irony of ironies, I noticed it in myself when we married. Humans are very puzzling to us."

"As are Romulans to Humans. We have a lot in common, though." She smiled. "Both our species value family very highly. You must be missing yours a lot."

"Every day." He looked at her silently for a few seconds. "You are my family now."

She gave him a spontaneous hug, both arms around his neck. He responded, holding her tightly to him. They finished browsing through her pictures, and then it was his turn.

They went to his bedroom, and he took out a device similar to Asha's photo frame.

"My parents," he said. Asha saw a couple with a serious little boy. He strongly resembled his mother, a proud-looking Romulan. His father reached till his wife's ear and had a small smile. Their pet set'leth was sitting next to Thorek.

"And that's Shah'ko?" Asha said.

"Yes," Thorek said, tenderness in his voice.

He also showed her a picture of his Vulcan great-grandmother – a stern refined-looking woman in dark purple robes who had passed her patrician looks all the way down to him.

"I would have liked to meet your family," Asha said softly.

"And I yours," he said. "Maybe things might change between our governments, and travelling between our two planets will be possible."

"Only time will tell."

"And hopefully time will tell us kind things. Hope is a universal sentiment, and despite what Vulcans might say about its being illogical, it can be a good thing and worth believing in."

"I agree," Asha said. They smiled at each other. Then he showed her some videos of himself playing with Shah'ko, his parents' voices and laughter in the background. And so the evening flew past until the twenty-fifth hour had almost elapsed, and it was well past their bedtime.

On her way back to her bedroom, Asha turned her head and smiled. "Sleep well, deyhhan."

"You, too, ailhun."

She left, and he got into bed. As he prepared himself for sleep, he discovered that he had even more questions about that André individual than before. He wondered if Asha and André had had sex with each other.


"Were André and you lovers?" Thorek asked her when they were reading in the hall a few days later. Asha, who was eating some nuts called kheshoe and going over Rihan grammar, almost choked and covered her mouth as she guffawed. Her cheeks went red and her eyes filled with tears of amusement. Thorek watched her, his already arched eyebrows climbing even higher. He had not expected such a reaction. His wife took five minutes to calm down. When she had, she dabbed at her eyes.

"My apologies. No, we were never lovers. That would almost be like incest! If you asked André the same question, he'd have the same reaction as I had now. Then again, you're not the first to ask."

"Incest?"

She explained how they had met at school as teenagers and been inseparable friends in the past eighteen years.

"What prevented you from becoming lovers if you were so close?"

"We discussed that once. He said he always wanted a younger sister. I always wanted an older brother. We both have no idea why. We were never attracted to each other sexually. It just never happened. And somehow, that made perfect sense for us and it was exactly the way we wanted it. Not every relationship between a man and a woman has to automatically be a sexual one. Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to know if you had a lover in your life like I did before our marriage. I know very little about your past. Do you know what you want from a lover?"

"I have a pretty good idea," she admitted calmly.

"So you have had a lover?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Mere curiosity. Besides the fact that you know about my former lover, including her name…"

She smiled, savouring his Romulan suaveness.

"Ah, but it was your choice to divulge that information."

He smiled, too. "Very true." He inclined his head on one side and studied her. He always did so when he was engrossed in a conversation. It was encouraging since he was doing this a lot around her.

"So, if my assumptions are correct, you are innocent."

"It depends how you define innocent." She knew what he meant, but she was trying to buy time. Being married to a Romulan was like being married to a chessboard sometimes.

"You have never experienced the intimate touch of a man or woman? You have never mated?" It was a shrewd move, as he was basically repeating his question.

Asha decided on a similarly direct approach. "No. I never regarded it as the compulsory milestone everyone made it out to be. I was extremely focused on my studies and…" She stopped, thinking.

"And…?" he prompted gently, with respect.

"I had already mapped out a life of contented so-called spinsterhood like my aunt. I used to wonder from time to time about having a relationship, but…" she shrugged. "…it just didn't seem worth the trouble. I am attracted to men, but avoidance has made things so much easier."

Thorek frowned slightly. It was evident that he disagreed with her stance, but he decided against contradicting her.

"Why did you choose avoidance?" he asked instead.

"I drew very unfavourable conclusions about watching the relationships of other people around me, especially my parents' marriage, and…" she paused a second time.

"Yes?" Gently again.

"...I just wasn't willing to invest time, energy and rollercoaster emotions to go dating and mating. There were always so many other things to do. My career as a holonovel writer was my main priority. My life plan always seemed logical to me."

"Dating and mating," he looked amused. "The former is a foreign concept to me. Romulans meet prospective mates quite formally before venturing into intimate relationships. In many cases, weddings are in fact arranged between clans, provided the betrothed are also willing. Well, you certainly have a mind of your own, no doubt encouraged by your aunt. She sounds like a very impressive woman."

"She is," Asha beamed. "Another of my relatives, Uncle Raj, refused to marry or settle down, as Humans call it. He said he wanted to travel and do his research in peace. He was an entomologist. Many people thought that Aunt Preity and Uncle Raj were eccentric oddballs, but they were simply very independent, and Uncle Raj preferred chasing insects instead of the opposite sex. And both struck me as perfectly happy with their choice."

"You certainly have inspiring relatives. I admire much about your attitude, though your opinion on intimacy does remind me of my distant cousins the Vulcans, as you mentioned logic."

"Well, sometimes, one has to be pragmatic. It's not worth staying with someone in a crumbling relationship. I know it doesn't have to be that way, but it's too much trouble to find out. Speaking of Vulcans, it is an advantage both our species are spared the pon farr. My attitude would not do me any favours."

"True, we are fortunate, especially given my Vulcan ancestor. I wonder if there is a particular way each species feels and shows love."

"Is there a Romulan way of loving?"

"We have rituals... traditions... but loving in itself? If I love with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my passion... Is that Romulan?"

"I can say that many Humans love that way you just described."

"Then my theory is invalid, and there is no Romulan or Human way of loving."

"I guess it's the packaging around lust and love that bears the markers of specific cultures," Asha said.

"Yes, well put." He was silent for a few moments, then he boldly tackled a delicate topic. "Are you open to encouraging intimate relations should a suitor take an interest in you or you in a potential mate?"

"I don't know, Thorek. I really can't say. I think only time knows the answer. What about you?"

"I would react if the interest were mutual," he replied honestly.

"I would probably feel like I'm disrespecting our marriage if I initiated a sexual encounter with someone else," Asha said just as honestly. "I know you disagree with me on this point. You have encouraged me to keep my heart open and choose a suitable mate if I wish. But it is complicated, deyhhan. A mate means so many things. A bondmate is not the same as a bedmate."

"I agree, ailhun. It's not so simple. Now, you have told me about your Aunt Preity and Uncle Raj and your conclusions from seeing marriages crumble around you. Is this what you want or what others have made you think you want so you don't risk repeating their mistakes?"

Asha laughed. "Oh, Thorek, all I know is that I am rebuilding my life from scratch. Let's do it this way, my husband. Should I wish to initiate a more intimate encounter with someone else, I will tell you, for I trust you and prefer discussing frankly with you."

"I give you my word that I will do the same."

"All right. We have an arrangement, then."

They both inclined their heads towards each other.

As Thorek went to bed, he thought about his wife for the umpteenth time. Whenever he was sure that he had her backed into a corner with his questions, she managed to hold her own against him by meeting him head-on. Moreover, he enjoyed her company and was embarrassed about his apprehension concerning that friend of hers. If he had to be completely honest, he was rather jealous of that André creature although he had no reason to be anything of the sort. But he was no Vulcan who could resort to pure logic and counteract such sentiments. How had this outrageous-looking person managed to create such a strong bond of friendship with his wife? Had she also ruminated as much when he had told her about R'ëal and spent the night in R'ëal's arms?

He was absolutely sure that Asha would attract the attention of an ardent suitor sooner or later. A passionately inclined Romulan would not be put off by a forced marriage. On the contrary: he would view such a marriage, especially an unconsummated one, as null and void.

He decided to read up on Human friendship and courting practices. What they referred to as dating. He was a man of science, after all.