Chapter 19: Shock

A/N: Hi Drummer, thanks for your review, and that's a great question. I've always been more interested in Indian art house movies than in the so-called Bollywood films. I admire actresses like Nandita Das, Konkona Sen Sharma or Tabu.

Anya, thanks for your comment! I think that while Romulans are fairly composed in public, they are bound to let their hair down in private – in contrast to the Vulcans, who are composed no matter what (ambassador Soval being a notable exception).

romulanlover, great review! In today's world, there's no doubt that we still have a very long way to go where gender equality is concerned. As you pointed out, Star Trek reflects instances of gender trouble. On the other hand, canon Romulans have been depicted as being refreshingly progressive about gender equality (and not so progressive about other things). I'm a big fan of Commander Toreth :-)

Today's vocab lesson: "Veruulir" is plural for "idiots". "Fvadt" means "Damn". "Daehlen" means "friend".


Thorek brushed and braided Asha's hair carefully the next day. She was wearing the bracelet he had gifted her, and she would touch it every now and then. He was thinking back to their conversation in the carriage on their way home last evening. For all her reluctance about taking a mate outside their marriage and the non-existence of past mates, she seemed very open when it came to talking about the topic. Kihika had in fact mentioned Asha's curiosity about Romulan mating practices and that she had wanted to know how celibate Romulans were viewed in society. However, while Romulans enjoyed experimenting sexually (as did Humans, to judge from his research), she had deliberately done the opposite based on what he thought were rather premature assumptions about relationships.

"Asha, with regard to our conversation yesterday, could you imagine mating with someone one day, regardless of whether they're Human or Romulan?"

She was silent for a few moments, frowning a little. He watched her face in the mirror. "It's probably awfully old-fashioned, but I'd want to care for the person and want them to care for me. Some people can mate with a complete stranger, and I know myself well enough to know that I can't. Besides, I don't think I'd make a very exciting mate, especially since sexual experimentation has never been my priority."

"I see. I do think you're mistaken."

"Why do you say that, Thorek?"

"I believe there are several sides of you that you still have to discover."

"You're right, but I don't think I'd miss anything if I didn't explore them. There's another Human saying: ignorance is bliss."

"A double-edged sword."

"Most things are."

"True."

A few moments of silence passed. Then he resumed: "You do feel desire?"

Asha chuckled. "Are you asking whether I'm asexual?"

"Yes."

"Asexuality comes in many variations, too. No. I have felt strong desire for men before, but I simply never acted on it."

"Why?"

"Once you have been rejected several times, you tend to get used to it. You take it for granted. You don't think anything else could be possible. An erroneous way of thinking, it's true, but…here's another saying: old habits die hard."

"So does desire," Thorek insisted.

"Could you imagine going through life without mating again?" she asked.

"Fvadt! No!" Thorek said, and laughed. Asha rose and touched her braid.

"Thank you. It's beautiful. So…" She leant against the table, pushed her chest out and tiled her pelvis on one side. She raised one eyebrow, looking deliberately coquettish.

"So, my deyhhan, could you imagine mating with me?"

He studied her for a few moments. "No. There is no fire between us."

"You see now? I just told you I would not make a very exciting mate, and you confirmed my statement." Her voice was gentle.

He nodded, but somehow, her answer seemed unsatisfactory. Curiously, he asked: "And you, could you imagine mating with me?"

"No."

He nodded again. "Good. To use one of your sayings: we are in the same boat."

"Yes, exactly."

He inclined his head to her and left. Asha gazed into the mirror. Why had her "No" felt like a lie?

"André, where are you when I am in trouble?" she sighed, longing for her dearest friend. What would André have told her? Most probably he would have patted her head or massaged her shoulders, and encouraged her to be calm. She closed her eyes and thought of his voice. Rejected by a Romulan. The sentence struck her as funny. It certainly had some good alliteration in it.

In the afternoon, she went shopping with Kihika. They were loading their purchases into the boot of the flitter, laughing, when three Romulan men approached her. Kihika tensed, and Asha turned around. She could sense trouble brewing.

"Oh, a snakehead," one of the men commented. Asha sized them up. Very young by Romulan standards, around Kihika's age.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked, sounding appropriately haughty. Kihika placed her hand protectively on her mistress's arm.

He pointed at her braid. "If you wear a snake on your head, then you're a snakehead," he said, speaking slowly as if she was slow of wit. "Is that why you Humans so foolish, having a snake to eat your brains?"

Asha coloured with anger. To let herself be provoked and cause a scene in the flitter park was the last thing she wanted to do. The park was fairly full, and some Romulans had in fact stopped to watch. None were bothering to intervene. Asha drew a deep breath. She was alone, except for Kihika who was refusing to leave her side and whispering to her that they should leave at once. She ignored her assistant. She wanted to fight back.

"I have heard that your people are very proud and intelligent," she said calmly. "Which is why I am surprised that a proud and intelligent individual like yourself would stoop to waste time and energy on insulting my coiffure."

Some Romulans in the vicinity began to snicker appreciatively at her retort, and her offender glared at her. Asha added, patting her braid while she spoke: "While I have not heard of snakes which eat Humanoid brains, I have heard of several snakes that strangle people. Just thought you might want to know."

This resulted in another wave of snickering, and the three men came closer.

"Go away, veruulir!" Kihika snapped, drawing closer to Asha's side.

Finally, a very official-looking Romulan stepped in and shooed everyone away. He ignored Asha and Kihika, however, and returned to his own flitter. Asha's hands were trembling slightly.

"My Lady, should I drive us home?"

"No…No thanks, Kihika. I'm okay. Thank you for standing by me." She managed to keep her voice steady.

"Always, Ihhei. I will never abandon you!" Kihika exclaimed passionately. "They are fools!"

When they reached home, Kihika told Thorek about the incident at once. He looked angry and disapproving.

"It is shameful. I am sorry this happened to you," he said to her.

"You didn't do anything. You have nothing to apologise for. Would it help to go to a security office and tell them about the incident?"

"Asha…You are Human with limited rights. It would be of no use."

Her eyes hardened. "So I should put up with future bullying?"

Thorek sighed. "I don't know what to do. But you did well to meet pride with pride. You were able to give as good as you got."

"Thorek, that is not the point."

"Listen, Asha, there is nothing I can do. You know that hostility towards Humans is widespread among Romulans."

"And you're saying I have to live with that?"

Thorek looked at her helplessly.

Asha swallowed down her tears and walked away. It felt like he was rejecting her a second time after their conversation in the morning. Then a hand touched hers.

"I won't leave you, my Lady," Kihika said. And she guided Asha upstairs and encouraged her to take a bath instead of a shower. Asha obeyed and lay in the foam, trying to relax, but the sting of Thorek's words hurt deeply. He didn't know what is was like to be in her Human shoes. His suggestion that she might find a Romulan who truly desired her sounded like mockery. In her eyes, she was the worst "catch" ever.


Four days had passed since the incident when she came home after sunset with a black eye, a nosebleed and bruises around both wrists. And her hair, her long thick black hair, had been chopped off. It had been irregularly cut and was sticking out everywhere. She had covered her head by with the hood of her cape to avoid questions on her way back to the flitter park. The worst, however, was the bruise around her neck. Thorek stared in horror and put his arms around her.

"Asha!"

She tried to keep her voice neutral as he supported her. "You remember, a few days ago, someone called me a snakehead and I insulted him back. Well, today, he and his two friends surprised me while I was visiting the woods, tied up my hands and feet, and cut off my hair. They told me they'd kill me if I said who had done this and dumped me near the flitter park. One of them wanted to kill me at once and started to strangle me. The other two disagreed, so here I am. I tried to fight them, but I was a bit outnumbered." She showed her bleeding knuckles, shrugged nonchalantly and forced out a smile. Thorek felt sick.

He helped her to the nearest sofa and made her lie on it. She obeyed almost mechanically. It was like the spirit had gone out of her. It terrified him, and his heart wept for her. He stooped and kissed her forehead. It was cold. Kihika had come running down the stairs and was now kneeling next to Asha, holding her hand. She raised her head and glared at Thorek. Fully aware that she might lose her job, she stated:

"You said nothing could be done, Ihhai, and this is what has happened because you kept silent! I do not move in the same social circles as you do, Ihhai tr'Darak, but I will go to the security office myself and tell them what happened. Someone has to speak up."

There was a long silence during which they stared at each other. Finally, Thorek sat down and unclenched his hands.

"You are right, Kihika. I should have done something. I am at fault. First, I need to call for medical assistance."

While he waited for Doctor Metak, a hot black rage overcame him. He wanted to hunt down that gang. He wanted to strangle all three of them with his bare hands. He wanted to make them suffer for hurting her. But most of all, he was furious with himself. He was trembling all over with emotion.

"Please forgive me," he whispered to Asha, placing his hand over hers. She opened her eyes and pressed his hand back. She tried to speak, but moaned in pain.

"Don't speak," Thorek whispered.


Doctor Metak made a report of Asha's injuries with scans and photographs. She also had two broken ribs. The doctor was deeply upset, and her friendly face was very grave.

"I have treated many patients, and I have rarely seen such a vicious assault. She will be all right, and there will be no damage. Physically, that is." She paused. "I consider her a very resilient person. I feel sure that she will heal; but you and I know that time can be the best healer if both of you allow it."

"I understand."

"Right now, she's going to bury the event so she can get on with life. Knowing what I know about her, it might take some time for her to process and talk about. Try not to push her. These things aren't dealt with overnight. Just be with her."

He nodded.

Following her visit, Thorek, Kihika and Doctor Metak went to the Romulan security station in their district to file a report against Asha's attackers.

After dealing with several PADDs of digital paperwork, the officer cleared his throat and addressed Thorek. His voice was kind and his eyes sad.

"I have to be honest with you, lhhai tr'Darak. As your wife is a Human, I am not sure how much can be done in this case."

Thorek leant forward. "I do not give a fuck whether she is Human, Romulan, Ferengi, Klingon or whatever damned species. She is an individual and a citizen of this planet, and if she has said or done anything in anger, it has been in self-defense. Do you expect her to take disrespect and violence lying down? And you, would you tolerate such assaults lying down?"

The officer sighed. "I will see to it and look into the case."

"My wife is not a case, and looking and seeing are not enough."

"I will do my best, but my superior has the final word." He licked his lips nervously. "We do not always agree with each other."

"I do not care who has the final word as long as you do something and get your hands on these criminals. If my wife's Humanity is against her, might I remind you that her husband is Romulan."

"I agree with you, lhhai tr'Darak. In my opinion, a grave injustice has been inflicted on you and your wife. It is attempted murder and in my eyes, intolerable for a citizen of Romulus, regardless of their rights or geographical origin."

He turned to Kihika and Doctor Metak. Kihika told him about the first incident in the flitter park and Doctor Metak described and confirmed Asha's injuries in her own words.

When Kihika returned, leaving Thorek and Doctor Metak at the station, Asha was sitting at her desk calmly studying Rihan. Her hair was wet, hanging in uneven chunks about her face.

"My Lady, you should be lying down."

"No, my friend, I can't stand being inactive. Doctor Metak has seen to all my injuries. I just have to be careful until my ribs are completely healed. Have you got a razor or a device for shaving hair, Kihika?"

"Rareek can help you for sure, Ihhei."

Asha shook her head gently and patted Kihika's cheek affectionately.

"No, it is beyond rescue, my daehlen."

"Then let me do it."

"No, this is something I must do on my own."

Kihika fetched the device Asha wanted and handed it to her. She went to the bathroom, stood in front of the mirror and ran it over her scalp. Kihika looked as if she was going to cry.

"It will grow back," Asha said gently as the severed hair fell onto her shoulders and back. Tears rolled down Kihika's cheeks. She switched off the device, sporting only a black fuzz on her scalp.

"Good. Less hair lying around the house, less wondering about hairstyles, less trouble. Honestly, those goons did me a favour."

She washed the apparatus calmly, disinfected it and placed it on the bathroom shelf; then she noticed Kihika's tears.

"Oh, my daelen, do not cry. It will grow back."

"I cry for what my people have done to you. I will understand if you despise me, too."

Asha hugged her. "Kihika, as if I could ever despise you. You are you, you are not them. You have shown me how to build a new life here, and you stood up to those thugs. I will not let them spoil it."

Kihika wiped her tears. The main door of the house opened, and they heard Thorek step inside. The two women went downstairs, and Thorek looked at his wife. Although her injuries were gone, they were still there somehow, lying buried somewhere, like her hair. Her face was still sweet and her delicate features all the more striking without her usual braid or Romulan hairdo; but the incident had marked her expression with a certain austerity – or maybe his suffering with her made him read such things in her face.

He approached her and held his hand above her head.

"May I...?"

"Yes."

"Did you shave it yourself?"

She nodded. He ran his palm over her head with a sigh, then embraced her.

"Please forgive me," he said again. "I didn't realise…"

"Neither of us could," she said. Her voice was calm.

They held each other silently. She didn't cry. She simply rested her cheek against the hollow of his neck, exhausted and numb.