The Fic Lab Prompt: The 3 loudest types of silence.
1. The silence between two ex lovers.
2. The silence of loving someone but never telling them.
3. The silence when words run out.
I walk into the room filled with students from Forks High Class of '03. As I look around, I see the faces that dominated my high school years. Their round baby faces have been replaced with harder edges, many looking just like their parents used to.
We had thought these friendships would last forever. But I hardly know these people anymore. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Angela. She's the one friend I kept in touch with all these years. She convinced me to make the trip up for this reunion.
I haven't been back to Forks since my father passed away ten years ago. There was no reason to anymore. Even Angela moved away. Not far, of course. She and Ben - high school sweethearts still together 20 years later- live in Port Angeles.
I first see him out of the corner of my eye as I head to the bar. Edward Cullen. I'd recognize his messy mop of auburn hair anywhere. I don't have the courage to talk to him yet, so I continue on toward the bar.
It's ridiculous to feel nervous around him, I know, But I can't help it. He was the boy I dreamed about all through high school. The one I fantasized about. We hung around in different crowds, so I can't say that we were ever friends. But that didn't stop my teenage imagination.
Edward was always nice to me, and for two months of our senior year, he was my trigonometry tutor. It took all of my effort to concentrate on his lessons and not his eyes or his smile or his voice that I could feel deep in my soul (okay, maybe I was a little dramatic back then). But concentrate I did. It would have been more embarrassing to fail, which I would have without his help. Sine and cosine…it was all Greek to me. Or should I say Latin?
I remember our last tutoring session like it was yesterday.
It was a Tuesday and the trig final exam was taking place on Thursday. Edward said I was ready. As I looked up from my paper to thank him for helping me, a strand of my hair fell in front of my eyes. He smiled at me, reached up, and tucked the strand behind my ear. As he pulled his hand away, I felt the back of his fingers gently slide down my cheek. To this day I still don't know if it was intentional or an accident. Though in my fantasies, it's the former, of course.
I looked into his bright green eyes to find him looking back at me with a strange expression on his face. We sat like that, staring into each other's eyes, for what seemed like forever but was probably only 10 seconds. Nothing else existed for me at that moment. I was lost in the silence of his unspoken thoughts. But then he sighed and looked away.
"You got this, Bella. You'll do great," he said as he grabbed his backpack, stood up, and walked out of the library. And out of my life.
That was the last time I spoke to Edward Cullen. I thought he might ask me how I did on the test, but he never did. And even though our interaction in high school was limited, I've never stopped thinking about him. As unfair as it is, I've compared every man I've dated to him. I even broke off an engagement. Can a 'never was' be the one that got away?
With my rum and coke in hand, I walk away from the bar, straight into the man of my dreams. He's even more beautiful than he was in high school. His sharp chiseled jaw looks more at ease with the maturity of his face. And that smile - his smile - it still makes me swoon.
"Bella Swan, a ghost from the past." His musical voice has become more baritone with age. I guess I'm still dramatic because I feel his voice reaching into my soul.
I have to force myself to stop staring and talk to him.
"Edward Cullen, my math savior. It's great to see you."
His smile brightens and I wonder if he remembers that last tutoring session as fondly as I do.
"I'm pleasantly surprised to see you here. You haven't made any other reunion."
"Angela finally talked me into attending one of these. How are you doing?"
"Good, good. I hear you're an editor in L.A. You always loved literature," he says as though he really knew me. And not just as a math tutor.
"How'd you know that?" I ask, shocked that he has any idea what I've been up to…that I'd ever be a topic of conversation in his world.
"I hear things," he laughs but then his expression changes a little. It brings back thoughts of that day in the library. "Or maybe I ask things."
His gaze is smoldering and I have to take a stuttering breath. Trying to calm myself, I look down but then immediately look back up. I feel the strand of hair fall from its pinned location on my head before I see it.
But not before Edward does. Just like in high school, he softly tucks it behind my ear. This time, though, his hand lingers on my cheek. This is no accident.
"I wanted to ask you out back then. That last day of our tutoring sessions. Do you remember that day?"
Do I remember? If only he knew! I want to tell him that I've thought of that moment every day since.
"I remember," is all I say. But then I want to know more. "Why didn't you, then?" I ask with a whisper.
"I don't know, it seemed like a recipe for heartache. We only had two weeks of school left and after the summer I was going off to college in New Hampshire and you were heading to California. I knew it would hurt too much to leave if I got closer to you."
"Oh," is all I can think to say. I'm not sure how to process all of the emotions I'm suddenly feeling - regret, for the chance we never had, elation that my crush wasn't completely unrequited, and hope for something more now.
"Listen, um, you may not know this, but I'm in L.A., too," Edward says as he takes a hold of my hand. "I moved there after my divorce. I just needed a change. I'd like to see you if that would be okay. We can start slow, maybe meet for coffee, whatever you'd prefer."
He looks nervous, as though he's not sure how I'll respond. This makes me smile even more. No one, not even Angela, understood the depth of my high school crush. I'm starting to realize now that it was always more than just a crush.
"Of course, I'd love to see you when we're back in L.A. But why wait? I'm available to meet for coffee, or whatever you prefer, as early as tomorrow," I tease.
Edward's smile is larger than I've ever seen it before. "Tomorrow it is!"
And he's still holding my hand.
