Olivia felt hopeful when she heard voices in the apartment. He had to be home. Thank God.
She knocked and to her surprise a uni answered the door. "Oh," she said in surprise. She peeked around him but didn't see Elliot. "I was just looking for Stabler. He around?"
She heard a voice call to her from the back. "He isn't here Captain!"
Upon hearing her rank the uni shoved over so she could pass. Olivia found Jet sitting with Bernie on the living room couch. "Hey," confusion laced her voice. When did Bernie come back to Elliot's? Her eyes fell on Jet. "I called but I haven't heard back. I wanted to stop by to talk to him and make sure he's okay," Liv shifted her weight a little. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable about relaying her concern. "You know, after everything that happened."
Jet's dark doe like eyes stayed on Olivia, and Olivia felt a little disconcerted from this confusing enigma.
Before Jet could speak, Bernie dropped into the conversation. "He's fine. He was supposed to have lunch with me today, but of course work ruined that plan."
Olivia gave Bernie a kind smile, and returned her attention to Jet. "I guess I'll go then, um," she bit her lip, "tell him to call me when he can." Jet's face remained expressionless, but she nodded.
When Olivia turned away Jet stood, "Actually, captain? Are you busy right now? You're probably always busy, but Stabler wanted me to stay here with Bernie…"
Bernie jumped in, "My son thinks I need a babysitter so I don't freak out on our nice friend over there." She gave the uni a wave.
Jet continued, "I'd like to get back to the office, there a few time sensitive things I want to take care of if possible.." Jet's eyes dropped to her toes nervously.
Olivia reached out and touched the girls arm kindly. "I'd be happy to stay with Bernie for a while." Those doe eyes looked back up at her. Olivia tilted her head towards the door, "You go get stuff worked out with your team. How long did El… um Stabler ask you to stay?"
"An hour, or however long it takes for Bernie to seem comfortable and safe."
"Okay," Olivia smiled kindly, "I can do that." Her eyes flicked towards the door, "get outta here."
Jet gave her a grateful smile before hurrying out the door.
Once the door shut behind Jet, Olivia dropped her bag on the coffee table and dropped to the couch. This day from hell would never be over.
Bernie scooted a little closer and dropped her hand kindly in Olivia's knee. "What's wrong dear?"
She had zero desire to explain the complicated state of her relationship with Elliot…with Elliot's mother.
"Just a long day," Olivia sighed. She hoped that would be enough of an answer, but she doubted it.
Bernie pat her knee a couple times before withdrawing her hand. "I'm sure everyday is a long day for a captain." Bernie used the title with respect. "But what about today made it worse than it usually would be? I suspect Elliot has a lot to do with it."
Olivia felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Bernie's bluntness was always great…until you were the target. Olivia didn't know how to answer so Bernie continued. "He's been pretty busy the last couple days, but he mentioned stopping by to see you this morning." Bernie's eyes caught hers, "Am I wrong to assume that visit didn't go well?"
Olivia sighed and leaned back into the couch a bit. "You're not wrong." Olivia glanced over to Bernie who seemed to be expectantly waiting for details. "It was stupid and my fault and I really didn't think about what I said before I said it and now I get why he would be upset but his day was shot to hell so I doubt I'll get to talk to him anytime soon." She hadn't meant to unload everything on Bernie, it sort of just fell out as a spill of words.
Bernie nodded. "Well I'm sure he'll be fine. I'm sure you've had your fair share of disagreements. My son is stubborn as they come." Bernie gave her a knowing grin, "And that's why you're good for him. He needs someone who will call him out on his crap. He needs someone to challenge him, and push him or he gets a little unruly." Bernie chuckled.
"This was a little different. It wasn't him being a stubborn ass," she gave Bernie a knowing look, "he was being considerate and defending our relationship," she looked to Bernie, "you know, back then. And I just…" she leaned her head back against the couch cushions. "I just did what I always do. Push him away, and tell him what we had was… complicated and they probably should have split us long before he left."
Bernie sighed, "Well. Do you mind if I speak frankly here?"
Olivia suppressed a smile. Bernie was always frank, so she was a little curious as to what was coming next. "Go ahead," she allowed.
Bernie's kind motherly hand fell again to Olivia's knee. "You aren't stupid or blind. I think you are well aware of how much my boy loves you," Bernie gave her a knowing side eye, "how much he's always loved you." Olivia felt her heart pound at Bernie's admission. Of course I know, but that's what makes things so much harder.
Bernie continued, "Elliot's father was…well… you know what his father was. Elliot seems determined to never be him." Bernie's eyes clung to hers, "That's why he could never leave Kathy. And," Bernie paused, seeming to check Olivia's reaction, "it's why he'll never give up on you."
Olivia felt tears on her cheeks and she wished she wasn't openly crying in front of Elliot's mother, but she couldn't stop herself. She and Elliot had been on the edge of this thing for so long, and she knew she needed to jump. She knew what Bernie was saying was true. Elliot would never give up on her, but lashing out and pushing him away was the only way she could prove to herself that he'd keep coming back. That he would stay. All she was doing now was hurting him, punishing him for the hurt he caused her.
He was right. Damn him. None of this would resolve unless they talked about it. No matter the discomfort it might bring.
Now only if she could find him.
-000-
He glanced down at his phone to see Jet's name pop up on his screen. After talking about their potential hit man and urging him to get back to the office she added,"Just so you know, Benson dropped by your house as I was leaving."
"What? For what?" He was already in his car and the phone switched to Bluetooth.
"It's not like I asked her. Your mom invited her in so I left."
"Did she say what she wanted?" Of course the one time she reaches out, is the time he is trying to keep a diplomat alive. Figures.
"No Stabler. Why would I ask? There is no way I was going to ask Captain Benson what she was doing at your apartment." He rolled his eyes at her typical snark.
"Okay okay. I'll figure it out. I'll be at the office soon."
He hung up the call, and waited for a stoplight before scrolling through his missed calls. Damn it. Olivia had called him seven times. Seven times and he didn't answer. Shit.
The worst part was that he didn't have time to call her back. He glanced at his watch. Maybe a quick call? Just so she knew he was okay and he'd talk to her soon?
Just as he decided to dial her number Sergeant Bell called. He tried not to groan when answering the phone.
"How close are you?"
"I'm pulling in now."
"Good. We need to get you up to speed and then you and I are going to check this guy out."
"Yeah I'll be up in a minute." He hung up. Damn. He couldn't even find one minute to text her. He just hoped she didn't jump to the worst case scenario. He didn't want their relationship to back track anymore than it already had today.
-000-
Olivia was undecided. Noah wanted to stay with Amanda and the girls tonight for pizza, so she was on her own. She dropped him off after dance, and now she was just driving around.
She could go home. She had laundry begging to be done. Stopping by Elliot's place again crossed her mind. She didn't want to drop by again and for him not to be there. She sighed. It was time to go home to her quiet apartment. Alone.
-000-
Once Elliot finally got home and got his mother to bed he pulled out his phone. He glanced at his watch. It wasn't too late to call. Knowing Liv, she had just gotten Noah settled for the night and she was sipping wine on her couch.
He stared at his phone, hesitating. He felt like he needed to see her. Communicating over the phone didn't provide him with the nuances of her facial expressions. The conversation he just had with his mother replayed through his mind. Her wish. Happiness. In his life happiness was only possible with Olivia. He needed to see her. He checked on his mother once more, grabbed his keys, and headed for the door.
-000-
