Chapter 28: Up to No Good

A/N: Hi romulanlover, Kihika is currently engaged to her girlfriend. Knowing the Romulans, their weddings are probably a straightforward arrangement without frills and furbelows, except maybe in the higher echelons of society.

Thanks for your reviews, christine79! Lilou is such fun to write, and she'll be occupying centre stage in this chapter! She's basically the couple's four-legged child (well, not really, but definitely a member of the family), so for now, there won't be much going on where the child front is concerned. As for Vreenak, he'll soon be making more than the occasional appearance. I'm very pleased that Thorek's popularity is eclipsing him, though!


Asha bought several PADDs on set'leth care and training, and Kihika showed her how to train Lilou to obey commands in English and Rihan. From potty training, diet to proper behaviour – Asha researched every subject. Thorek contributed by walking Lilou in the woods and teaching her how to protect her owner in the case of assault. A companion who would also defend and protect Asha had been one of the main reasons why he had decided on gifting her with one of these loyal animals. Romulans were physically stronger than Humans, although Asha was a sturdy energetic woman. He remembered how she had smacked the brutish Tal Shiar guard in the face and made his nose bleed. But if she was outnumbered, as she had been back then...

He heard the pattering of Lilou's paws on the stairs and Asha's footsteps. Just that morning, the set'leth had mastered opening doors by jumping up and pressing the console with her paw. She had grown a little over the last month, and her coat was glossy with Asha's disciplined brushing. She nuzzled Thorek's ankle and stared up at him with her large liquid eyes, waggling her fluffy ears and bushy fanned tail.

"You are being spoilt rotten," he murmured, picking her up and scratching her head.

Later in the afternoon, when they were lying in bed after a spontaneous round of lovemaking, Thorek asked Asha: "Now that you have mated with a Romulan, do you wish you could have mated with a Human, my wife?"

By now, Asha was used to the fact that Romulans talked so openly about sex, and she smiled tranquilly. "Oh no."

He looked thoughtful. "No? Why?"

"For one thing, I always wanted to mate with someone I cared about."

"Do you think I'm better endowed than Human men?" He gestured at his penis.

Asha burst out laughing and laughed even more when he frowned, confused. The question was frank and innocent, without arrogance.

"I'll admit that Romulan male genitalia are different from Human men's, but that doesn't mean anything."

"It doesn't?"

"No. Because when we make love, you show me that you care."

They began to kiss, and he trailed his hands over her breasts and stomach. She leant her head against his shoulder and moaned softly. Slowly, he snaked one arm around her hips and slipped his hand between her thighs.

"Oh!" she gasped, and she rubbed herself against his fingers and gripped his bottom with her hands. She was fascinated how green his skin and sexual organs were turning, and he, for his part, admired the rosy blush spreading over her body.

As they were happily busy with Thorek making love with her from behind, the door suddenly hissed open. A furry fluffy-eared missile launched itself towards them, hitting Thorek in the back, who bellowed with pain, cursed violently and tumbled off Asha. Asha winced with pain from the impact as her husband inadvertently slammed into her and his elbow hit her in the side as he toppled from her back. Lilou pounced at Thorek playfully and tried to sit on his head. When he shook her off with a volley of profanity, she tackled a pillow. There was a tearing sound, and feathers flew around the room.

"Lilou! No!" Asha yelled.

"Out!" Thorek roared, his face turning bright green. He leapt up from the bed, grabbed Lilou and marched naked into the corridor. Kihika, who was on her way upstairs to see what the commotion was about, froze and stared at him in shock. Thorek stomped up to her and dumped the set'leth into her arms while maintaining a stony silence. Then he strode back to the room, opened the door manually without bothering about the console and slammed it closed. Kihika blinked. She patted Lilou, who was whimpering guiltily in her arms, and carried her down into the garden. The set'leth ran around until she was tired and lay down at Kihika's feet to nap. Kihika suppressed a huge grin. She was tempted to tell her fiancée about the incident, but she was loyal and discreet where her Ihhei and Ihhai were concerned.


"That beast has the worst manners on the whole Romulan planet!" Thorek shouted.

"She is young, so she's still very playful," Asha observed soothingly, fetching a towel, moistening it with water and placing it between her thighs.

"You're spoiling her!" Thorek growled.

"Says who?" Asha responded, amused. Thorek looked like he was going to explode.

"She needs a spanking!"

"No, she doesn't!" Asha exclaimed, annoyed. Thorek narrowed his eyes and glared at her.

A Human unused to the passionate outbursts of anger in Romulans would have run for their life, but Asha simply watched him and continued to soothe her sore vagina with the towel. Part of his anger was that he had been interrupted during sex, and Asha couldn't imagine any Romulan reacting with the slightest grace to such a thing – not that Humans would react any better; but most Romulans seemed to have a very keen sex drive besides a tendency for quick mood shifts, and woe to whoever or whatever dared to interrupt a Romulan who was busy in the middle of intercourse.

Asha sneezed as a feather settled into her hair. Thorek's body suddenly relaxed, and he groaned with frustration and pain. His wife remained calm and simply stretched out her hand. He took it.

"Know that I would never harm or hurt you when I'm angry, e'lev. Or Lilou." His nostrils flared for a second.

"I know, my deyhhan. Lilou requires a lot of patience. She's a bit like a child."

"Indeed. Thank goodness parenthood is not part of our plans," Thorek stated. "Did you get injured?" He looked at the towel.

"Not really. It was just a bit of a bump when she landed on your back."

He snorted. "A bit of a bump is a crass understatement. I am sore myself." He grimaced and looked at the greenish bruise forming on what had been a solid erection a few minutes ago. Asha touched it gingerly and he hissed, clenching his jaw.

"Maybe we should call your physician?" she suggested.

"Most definitely not. I will fetch the dermal regenerator, and it will be functional soon enough." His eyes gleamed as he looked at her. "After which we will lock the door. Never have I been so rudely interrupted while mating. If this happens again, she'll spend the night in the garden."

Asha, however, was looking at his injury with concern. "My deyhhan, I really think you should call your physician. It's swelling as we speak, and I can see it's really hurting you."

"My wife, which physician on Romulus has been contacted for this kind of injury indirectly inflicted by a spoilt set'leth?"

"Yours, in a few minutes," Asha countered. Thorek reached out for his PADD in grim silence.

A few hours later, he was reclining glumly on their settee in the hall, confronted with a minor penile fracture and a healing time of three weeks post-surgery – far less than in Human men who had suffered the same mishap, but bad enough from his point of view. Lilou trotted up to him, ears drooping apologetically, and he shooed her away with a wave of his hand.

"Come now, Thorek'ev, Lilou did not intentionally hurt you or permanently rob you of your virile prowess," Asha said, amused.

"Virile prowess? What you have been reading?"

"A history of Romulan love practises. I couldn't resist quoting that expression."

"Why you have to read that rubbish is beyond my comprehension," he muttered. Asha, unfazed by his sulking, picked up the set'leth cub and stroked her.

Thorek watched her press her cheek against Lilou's fur. When Asha put her down and the little animal stubbornly approached him again, his heart softened. With a sigh, he placed her on the settee next to him. Lilou cocked her head on one side, perked up one ear and let the other droop. She stared at him in such a plaintive manner that Thorek began to laugh.

"I wonder if Lilou was jealous that you were spending time with me instead with her, my ailhun," he said.

Asha raised her eyebrows. "That didn't occur to me. I know set'leths are remarkably intelligent, but even so, she saw you before she saw me. I'm not sure. I still think she just wanted to play."

"What we can agree on is that her training has to be more structured. I'll be glad to assist you and Kihika."

"Of course, once you have recovered."

"While I recover," Thorek said ominously.

After a week, Thorek claimed he was going to use his former bedroom to sleep alone, saying that Asha's presence would delay his healing. Asha, deeply affronted, claimed that he was being sexist by regarding her female presence as a source of dangerous temptation and a threat to his injured manhood.

"That is nonsense!" Thorek snapped. "Besides, Romulans heal faster than Humans, and-"

"Oh, so you're starting again with the Romulan versus Human thing?"

She placed her hands on her hips and managed to stare him down although she only reached till his nose.

"I'll tell you what the problem is. You have been used to being a sex god for such a long time that you can't stand being knocked off your pedestal for once."

Thorek looked furious. "I beg your pardon?!"

"Many men, regardless of species, define themselves too much via their genitals. You are not one huge penis on two legs, you know. And you regard the sedatives you've been prescribed as the final insult," she said snootily.

"I have never heard of such a thing before! Can I not be annoyed that I was interrupted while enjoying your company? And when I lie next to you I long to be able to..." He put his arms around her, "...touch and kiss you all over..."

Asha blushed deeply and whispered into his ear: "I want to do the same with you...And we'll be able to in two weeks, sex god. There are other avenues of pleasure besides in and out, you know."

"Asha, any kind of sexual pleasure has been wiped out by that atrocious sedative. It numbs me. I am forced to abstain from being your…sex god."

She kissed his brow ridges tenderly. "Then let me hold you."

"Very well, my Ashaya."


Lilou bore up cheerfully with the brunt of the situation, for Thorek took over most of her training, and when he even set up an obstacle course in the garden to train her endurance and muscles, Asha shook her head; but seeing that Lilou in fact enjoyed this new regimen, she let the two of them bond in their own way.

As soon as Thorek was sedative-free, he proceeded to lock the bedroom door and resume what had been interrupted three weeks ago.

After several rounds of catching up, they lay back in bed, sweaty and thoroughly debauched. They got up, bathed and dressed right in time to receive a call from the Jo'reks.

"We have received tickets to attend the speeches Senators Letant and Vreenak will be holding next week to conclude the spring festival. It's quite impressive," Vekal announced. Military employees often received extra bonuses which consisted of being encouraged to show their loyalty to the Empire - such as enjoying special seats while attending political functions, bringing family and friends along and even conversing with the politicians themselves. This time, Vekal had been chosen by his superiors in the name of their department.

Senator Vreenak. He of the indiscreet stare. Asha smiled at the memory.

"I would be interested. What do you think?" she asked Thorek.

"Certainly. But Lilou will stay at home."

"No pets allowed anyway," Christine confirmed, and Thorek looked relieved.

"Just imagine if Lilou tried to castrate the Senators," he commented to Asha after Christine and Vekal were offline.

"You picked Lilou," Asha remarked scathingly, "and she's here to stay."