So, how do we like FighterWard? Isn't he swoon-worthy? Anyway, I hope you're enjoying the story … What's up next?
So, Bella's in a pickle. She essentially cut off all communication with Edward. He has feelings. She has feelings. Bella ghosted him and he honestly didn't want to deal with it. Coupled with Bree's advances?
Can you say clusterfuck?
What I own: Way too many Scentsy warmers and not enough space to display them all …
What I don't: Twilight
Chapter Nineteen
"I know you don't want to hear it, but I am sorry for disappearing. You scare me."
"Explain that, please," Edward sighed. He promised Emmett and Jasper that he'd had an open mind, but seeing her at the barbecue along with her cold reception in the house? It made him prickly.
Yes, he was attracted to her. Extremely so, but was that attraction worth getting shit on?
He was also protective of her and felt more for Bella than he felt for Victoria. Again, was that worth being ghosted?
All because of his choice of occupation?
"You scare me because what I feel for you is ten times what I felt for Jacob," Bella whispered, fat tears slipping down her dirty face. "That scares me more than anything …"
She couldn't continue. A nurse came in, asking questions about Bella's injury and if she had any allergies. Bella replied no, but did ask for something for the pain. Along with her emotional anguish, she was also dealing with physical pain. The nurse nodded, ducking out of the room.
"Drink your water, Bella," Edward encouraged. "Have you had anything to eat today?"
"No, not really," she answered. "I was munching on the veggie tray when I decided to slice my finger. I lost my appetite shortly after that. I don't like blood, seeing it makes me queasy."
Edward reached into his pocket, pulling out a protein bar. "Eat this. If you're going to get pain meds, you'll get an upset stomach and you won't be able to hoof it to the bathroom in a cast," he chided gently. "It's not the same as the food at the barbecue, but you'll have something in your stomach.
Bella munched on the protein bar, not really tasting it. "Thank you," she mumbled. "I don't deserve your kindness. You have every right to leave after I'd behaved."
"Jasper and Emmett made me promise to listen to you," Edward said. "I'll listen, but that doesn't mean I'll stay."
Nodding, Bella placed the wrapper on the side table and drew up her uninjured leg. "I shouldn't have ghosted you. At least, I owed you an explanation for me freaking out and …" she sighed, scrubbing her hand down her face. "I like you, Edward. A lot."
"You have a funny way of showing it," Edward retorted, arching a brow.
"I know," she frowned. "I hated shutting you out. I wanted to see how your new place worked out and how your recovery was going, but that one brief kiss? I felt more alive, more connected to you than I ever did to Jacob or any other guy I'd been with."
"And that terrified you?" Edward asked.
"Yes," Bella answered honestly. "I'd known Jacob for forever and I thought he was …" She sniffled, wiping away an errant tear. "But, I felt more connected to you than anything I'd ever experienced. I wanted it so badly. In the back of my head? I knew I couldn't."
"Why?" Edward pressed. "I may be a fighter in the ring, but I'd never do anything to hurt you. At least, not intentionally."
"But, you very well could …" she cried. "So, I figured if I kept my distance, I wouldn't get hurt."
"How did that work out?" Edward snapped, arching a brow at her. "You broke your leg."
"Not very well, obviously," she grumbled. "I'm not talking about physical hurt, but emotional pain."
"Again, how did that work out?" Edward huffed, standing up. "I don't know about you, but it hurt me when you blew me off. It hurt more than finding my girlfriend getting fucked in my bed. As promised, I listened. Now? I'm going to leave. I hope you feel better soon." He shook his head, moving to leave.
Unfortunately, Carlisle walked in, wearing a white coat, blocking his exit.
"Okay, you're next up in the x-ray machine," Carlisle said. "It'll determine if you're going to have a cast, a boot, surgery or not. Edward, sit, son. Relax."
"I was …" he trailed off when Carlisle gave him a stern look. "Going to call Charlie."
"Hold off until we get the x-rays," Carlisle nodded. "Ready to take a ride, Bella?"
A nurse came in, rolling the gurney out of the room and to the nearby x-ray suite. With some help, Bella slid across to the table and had her leg x-rayed from every angle. Twenty minutes later, they were back in the emergency room. Bella was shocked to see Edward still sitting there. His lips were pursed, and brow puckered while he flicked through his cell phone, tapping out messages with his thumbs.
Bella's pain medication was starting to kick in. Her heart was shattering at the possibility of losing any sort of relationship with Edward. At best, they could be polite colleagues after her duck and run choice after that kiss. A friendship? A relationship? Highly unlikely, if they were being honest. "You're still here," she slurred.
"Carlisle poked his head in and said that he was asked to consult on a couple other cases. He can't drive you home. I'm pissed at you, but I'm not an asshole, despite your beliefs otherwise," Edward deadpanned, narrowing his gaze at her. "Are you still in pain?"
"It's a low buzz, not as sharp," she answered. "I'm feeling more grimy than anything. My hands are disgusting, and I'm covered in sand."
Sliding his phone into his pocket, Edward got up and picked up a towel from the cabinet. Turning on the water, he let it run for a few moments before putting the towel under the stream. He finished up, walking back to sit next to Bella on the gurney. "Give me your hands," he said quietly.
"I can do it myself," she argued.
"You sound like you're three sheets to the wind, Bella," Edward chided, picking up her hand and washing the grime from her skin. "You don't hear how much you're slurring?"
"No," she answered, laying back as she watched him tenderly clean her hands, arms, and face. His expression was unreadable as he washed away the tear streaks from her cheeks. There was a quiet knock on the glass, stopping Edward from giving Bella a quick bird bath.
"Okay, Bells, you've got a fracture of your tibia," Carlisle said, breezing into the room and tossing the x-ray onto the lightbox. "We need to set the break and you get to wear a cast for two weeks. After that, we'll get you in again and take some more films to see if you can graduate to a boot. Unfortunately, it's your right foot which means no driving."
"Can you knock me out to set it?" Bella asked, reaching for Edward's hand. He twined his fingers with hers, trying to get her calm down. "Everything hurts."
"You'll need to go back to Charlie's. He can dote on you," Carlisle suggested.
"No, I want to go home," she whined. "Charlie, he's a great trainer, but as a nurse? He's awful. I still have that cast condom thing from my last break."
"I can stay with her, Carlisle," Edward offered.
"You don't have to," Bella debated. "I know I'm the last person you want to deal with right now."
With a look, Edward squeezed her hand. "I'm staying," he pressed, not leaving much for any argument.
"Okay, I'll get things set up. What color, Bells?" Carlisle asked.
"Black, like my soul," Bella sniffled, closing her eyes, and allowing tears to fall onto her cheeks unabated.
Carlisle wanted to speak to Edward, but from the vice grip she had on his hand, he knew that Edward wasn't going anywhere. Stepping out of the room, Carlisle got the supplies he needed and prepared to set Bella's leg. A nurse administered a light sedative and some stronger pain medications. Edward stayed glued to her side as she drifted in and out while her leg was set, protected by a cast.
"Edward, if you want, Esme and I can help with Bella. I know that something happened between the two of you," Carlisle said once he finished the cast.
"It's a long story, but I think we need to work things out. If I'm staying with Bull Dog, I have to be able to work with everyone," Edward sighed. "But, not Bree."
"Oh, Esme ripped her a new asshole," Carlisle crowed. "Bree is not attuned to the social nuances of flirting. Part of it is her sheltered upbringing. The other part is … well … it's a way of rebelling against her over-protective mother."
"Right," Edward deadpanned.
"Bree is not working at Bull Dog, just at the physical rehabilitation center," Carlisle explained. "Rose already rescheduled your consultation with her to be at the gym, not the center, to avoid an uncomfortable encounter with Bree."
"Much appreciated," Edward snickered. "I'm going to get the car, pulling it around. Will she be okay? I mean …"
"She'll be loopy for a while," Carlisle said. "I'll grab her pain pills. Roxy is bringing the crutches."
"Here they are," Roxy said, handing Edward the crutches.
Edward took them and left the emergency department. He parked the car in the loading zone, finding Carlisle with Bella in a wheelchair. She was disgruntled, but awake. She held a white bag, along with a bottle of orange juice. Carlisle gave Edward the instructions for the meds, asking him to call if there's any issues regarding Bella and his choice to stay to help her.
Scooping her out of the wheelchair, Edward placed Bella in the front seat of the car, locking her into place. She drifted off almost immediately. Thankfully, Carlisle gave Edward directions to Bella's home. He easily maneuvered his way to her place, arriving at a beautiful lakefront home. He found her keys, unlocking the door before carrying her inside. Finding her bedroom, he placed her on the bed, elevating her broken foot with a mountain of pillows. After setting an alarm on his phone, he went in search of food to feed her when she woke up before she could take her next dose of medication.
A couple hours later, Edward had a simple meal of baked chicken, cheesy rice and broccoli made, warming in the oven. He went into the bedroom, gently rousing Bella. "Wake up, Bella," he whispered, brushing her messy curls away from her face.
"Everything hurts," she whimpered.
"I know, but you have to eat in order to take your pain medication," he said.
"It smells good in here," she said, looking at him warily. "You cooked?"
"It's one of my good qualities," he smirked, holding up the crutches. "Come on, Hop-Along."
"Fuck you," she snapped. "I was trying to get away from you and that floozy."
"And, you see how that worked for you," Edward deadpanned. "Floozy?"
"I'm not firing on all cylinders," she grumped, standing up and tucking the crutches under her arms. Slowly, they made their way to the kitchen, where Edward their meals set up. "Oh, wow. You can cook."
"I would have made more comfort food, but I'm back in training mode. You get the cheesy rice while I don't," he sighed, looking longingly at the cheesy rice on her plate.
"One spoonful can't hurt," Bella said, sitting down and putting her leg up on the bench he'd placed next to her chair.
"It can't, but … I save up my 'cheats' for one day of heaven," he chuckled.
They ate the delicious meal, which shocked Bella to no end. The chicken was juicy, well-seasoned and cooked to perfection, while the cheesy rice was decadent and the broccoli was tasty, lightly sautéed in some olive oil, garlic, and lemon. When dinner was over, Edward gave her the medication along with a protein shake. "Why?" she asked.
"You didn't eat a lot today," he said. "Just humor me? It helps with the upset stomach."
She trusted him since she knew he'd had his own fair share of injuries. The shake was sweet and cold, masking the bitter taste of the pain killer. He asked if she wanted to go back to bed or watch television. She said television. He helped her to the family room, giving her the remote, along with an ice pack, as he did the dishes.
She wasn't really watching the television as her mind began to cycle through the pain of her leg and the pain in her heart. When he came back into the family room, he found her crying at an episode of Friends. Crouching in front of her, he asked, "Bella? Do you need another pain pill?"
She shook her head, trying to hold back sobs. "I hate having this wall …" More tears welled in her eyes, splashing down her pink cheeks.
"What wall?" he asked, shooting his verdant gaze to hers.
"The wall, around here," she huffed, pressing her hand to her chest. "Around … what's that thing that pumps the blood?"
"Your heart?"
"Yeah, that. I keep everyone away," she mumbled, staring at him. "I have a lot of acquaintances, but two friends. Not even they know everything." She closed her eyes, unable to handle the intensity of his eyes. The pain meds were making her loopy … and honest. Like a fucking truth serum or some shit. "Everyone who loves me, throws me away … like I'm not worth it."
"Bella, that can't be true," Edward argued, shaking his head in disbelief.
"My mom didn't want to mom, and she left me. Dropped me off at my grandparents, never to return again," Bella cried. "My dad? I love him, but he doesn't see me for me. I'm just the backbone of Bull Dog, making sure we have power, supplies and all that shit. Jacob? He fucked other women because I wasn't good enough. I'm not enough. They didn't stay … they threw me away? Why should I try? I'll be discarded. That's why I pulled away. So, you wouldn't be another person who tossed me out like garbage."
"Bella …" Edward whispered. "I would … never do that! And your dad? He adores you!" Then, it all clicked into place. "You're not disposable. You're everything. You're the glue that keeps Bull Dog together." He moved to sit next to her.
"That's why I built the wall," she slurred, moving to snuggle closer to him as more tears leaked out. "Too high to let anyone in and too thick to let any feelings out." She put her head on his chest, drifting off almost immediately.
He wasn't sure what to do, so he put his arms around her tiny, exhausted body and held her close. As much as he wanted to tell her to fuck off after she'd ghosted him, he couldn't. Not now. Everyone who ever cared for her had given up on her. Though, he doubted that Charlie made her feel like she wasn't worth it, but trying to be both mother and father to a little girl? He must have struggled.
Yes, Bella Swan had hurt him, but she'd been hurt, too. Not by him, but by people who should have loved her unconditionally. Will it take time for him to forgive her for her actions?
No, you already forgive her, asshat.
Be that as it may, she needed to work to get back into his good graces. Regardless, he was not going to walk away.
A girl like Bella? She's worth the fight …
A/N: I'm so happy with this chapter. I mean … I hope you all like it, but I love it. I loved writing it. It came together in less than a day! Sweet!
Anyway, pictures for this are on my blog. There's a link for that on my profile. I'm also on FB: Tufano79's Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation. Twitter, too: tufano79.
Up next will be … Bella's road to recovery, both physically and emotionally. How will she react to knowing that she used FighterWard as her own human body pillow? We're also going to start training with Charlie 'Bull Dog' Swan. You think I'm lying about the drool. It will be messy.
Leave me your thoughts!
