Anakin sat on the Gathering Ship, away from the other younglings (who, sadly, seemed to be rather wary of him now) contemplating his crystals. He'd never come out of Ilum with more than two before, and he'd never gotten multiple crystals at once. In all honesty, he had no idea why he'd come out of the caves with them.

And then he had to consider their color. There weren't many Jedi who wielded purple lightsabers, and those who did... Well, it would be a blatant sign to anyone and everyone who saw it that Anakin had dark side training, to a point where it could affect his light side training. Although, in all honesty, he should be glad they weren't any shade of red. The bright red crystals that Sith favored were more often than not synthetic as that particular shade didn't occur in nature but was the default for artificial kyber crystals. However, other shades of red did occur in nature. Darker maroons and rubys or reds more on the orange side... Those were rarely picked these days, though. Jedi tended to lean towards the green or blue crystals in the current Order. As much as the purple sabers spoke of his leanings, they also signified a balance.

At this point, and especially after that vision, he was more than thankful that he had any kind of balance in his life.

As much as he appreciated that, it didn't mean he knew what to do with them.

Reaching over, he picked up the largest crystal. It was also the brightest of the lot and the warmest – the closest to red. It also seemed to be the one that resonated with him the most. His mouth thinned to a grim line. Then he reached out with the Force and lifted the other two into the air, bringing them forward to float in front of his gaze. The smallest was the darkest, a deep amethyst so dark it was almost opaque. The last was a royal purple that, while lovely, didn't seem to want to attract attention to itself, and seemed to be the calmest – the most stable – of the bunch.

After a moment, Anakin let the crystal in his hand join the other two and closed his eyes. What was he supposed to do with these? Was he supposed to make three? Maybe learn Jar'kai and wield two blades? Then have a third for backup?

No, that didn't feel right.

A staff then?

Ugh, that utterly repulsed him. Maul had used a staff and some Jedi Sentinels used pikes similar to staffs... and neither one appealed to Anakin.

Thankfully, he got a rather firm 'no' for that idea as well.

One lightsaber then?

Yes, that felt right.

With three crystals...

Wait...

An idea began to form in his head.

He opened his eyes, blinked for a moment, and then felt the corners of his mouth lift into a smirk as he set the crystals down and went to peruse the lightsaber parts for those that he would need.

xXx

There was a distinct difference between the Jedi holocrons Tai'k Xio had studied and the Sith holocrons she was now studying. Well, there were several differences, but the largest of them was, surprisingly, not the general feel of them. The difference she found the most disconcerting and thus the most noticeable was the near sentience she'd found in the Sith holocrons. To be fair, she had to concede there were all types of Jedi holocrons, and some of them had a comparable presence to the Sith holocrons, but without the sheer intensity...

Perhaps it was a dark side thing? She didn't know and was wary about trying to find out. She was here to study one thing and one thing only, and getting off track had been where a lot of fallen Jedi had started.

Inwardly, she frowned. No wonder Anakin had warned her against these. Why would anyone willingly study them for fun? Because if she felt she had a choice, she would gladly take leave of this project here and now. If it weren't for the fact that it had already begun to help her understand her patient, and potentially not just Anakin. Her studies could help her understand dark siders to a far better extent and could also help her understand more about what the Force (both light and dark) really did to people.

Well, if she could get some answers, that is.

"Is that really all you want?" the transparent, red form of an iktotchi female bent down and whispered in her ear. It took all of Tai'k's will to not flinch away. That would only show weakness and it would make getting answers out of this holocron all that more difficult.

Then again, getting answers out of any dark holocron was difficult, especially once they realized she honestly didn't want power or prestige or – as this one kept hinting at – purpose. At least, not their purpose.

"Yes," she asked simply. "I am looking at a study of the dark side's affect on the mind of sentients, so I need to know how you thought before you turned and after."

She expected the woman, Darth Cognus, to grow cold, turn away and shun her before retreating into the holocron and refusing to come out again. This Sith wouldn't be the first, and Tai'k had actually approached this particular holocron a couple of times before with similar results. At least the projection of the ancient Sith had actually chosen to speak to her this time. Had even allowed her to ask her question before retreating.

Honestly, it felt like today had been a particularly dull day in the Sith's eyes and so Cognus had finally deigned to grace her with her presence out of sheer boredom. That level of quality for a holocron still blew her mind.

No, she told herself, focus.

"Why do you want to know?" the dark voice echoed through the study room she'd ensconced herself in.

Tai'k thought about the question for a moment, doing her best to hide her surprise and tapping her lip with her chin. All she could really see of the other woman's face was the lower half of it, and the four tattoos jutting down from her lip sharply. It definitely didn't give off a friendly feeling.

"Several reasons," she replied, nonchalantly. "But I'm mostly just honestly curious about the effects. I believe it actually physically alters the brain, and I want to know why. Especially when the Force itself doesn't have a similar affect." True it could calm people down, but Jedi could be just as volatile as Sith when angry or flustered or even just determined. All without even touching the dark side. So why did the darkness seem to physically twist thoughts when the light side didn't (or at least not to that extreme). And how were the medichlorians involved in all of this? Did the dark side affect them too?

That was her working theory at the moment; that the dark side influences the medichlorians themselves, imbuing a negativity difficult to fight as it worked on a person on their most basal level. She didn't know the exact mechanics, and it was still just a theory for now, but—

"How boring."

Tai'k smiled. She had an argument to this one. "Well, knowledge is power."

That caused the Sith to perk up. "So you do seek power."

Well, if they put it that way. "Hmm, perhaps so."

Hook.

The iktotchi's grin widened.

Line.

"Perhaps I can help you after all..."

Sinker.

Xio hated manipulating anything or anyone like this, but it seemed to be the only language Sith understood. She'd put that observation down too. Now all she needed to do was project an image of what the Sith expected, and voila.

She made a mental note to talk with her fellow mind-healers and probably Mace later on today. He'd have an accurate read on her state of mind. She didn't think it was getting to her, but more than one Jedi had fallen into that trap before, and she couldn't allow herself to even come close. Not only would she be letting her patients down, but the kind of damage a former mind-healer could do if corrupted...

It made her want to shudder.

But she didn't. She had a facade to hold up right now.

"We should start with some Sith precepts."

Tai'k frowned. "You aren't the first holocron I've studied."

"Oh? Then tell me what you know."

The silver-haired woman cocked her head to one side. "This is an information exchange. I'll give you what you want to know, but you have to give me the same consideration. Otherwise I put your holocron back and move on."

The figure smiled. It wasn't friendly. "Oh, you show promise. Very well, what would you like to know?"

Tai'k didn't allow herself a triumphant grin. She simply tapped her data pad. "From what you remember, what were you like before you turned?"

xXx

Later that day

Master Xio smiled at Anakin as he sat in the chair across from hers. He returned the smile.

"How are you today, Anakin?"

"As well as can be expected."

She frowned. "Anakin..."

It was funny. Her therapy seemed to have morphed since he'd initially started coming to her. She seemed far more easy-going now than she had initially, and while she was still scarily accurate in her guesses, in most other areas she had changed, somehow – become more welcoming and open while simultaneously seeming just as strict. Also, she seemed to have adopted Girth's opinion on feelings and emotions, or something similar at least. Anakin had to admit, he liked the change.

Usually.

"I am extremely nervous," he said through gritted teeth. He'd already been through this with Girth... multiple times if he counted more than the current situation. Why was it still so hard?! "And... scared." Saying that last one almost physically hurt.

She smiled at him again, a true, warm smile that did a lot to put him more at ease. "Understandable. I might be a little worried if you weren't."

Well that was new. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Aren't most Jedi expected to not feel fear?"

For several seconds she didn't answer, although her lips thinned. She didn't look upset at him though. How interesting.

"We are human, Anakin. Not feeling fear would be tantamount to not feeling anything at all, ever. And while Jedi strive for a mastery of themselves, and then hopefully their fear, that doesn't mean they don't feel fear at all."

Anakin wasn't sure what to say to that. He'd heard the ideal before, but he still wasn't sure he could believe that. Not after how he'd grown up the first time. It just didn't... compute.

"Would you like to talk about it?" The mind healer asked suddenly, probably sensing that Anakin wasn't ready to delve into the deeper realms of his experiences as a former Jedi just yet. "Palpatine and the ensuing situation, I mean."

Although such a blatant dodge was still very unlike her. Unless there was a meaning behind it. Perhaps she wasn't ready to discuss Jedi and how they 'should' and 'shouldn't' feel? He wasn't quite sure what to think about that, so he humored her with a heavy sigh.

"It seems to be all anyone in the know wants me to do: Talk about it. Master Yaddle when we met up after my Force Techniques class," which he had been markedly improving in lately, he was glad he'd decided to tell her of the future and his return from it too. "Master Yoda when I met with him after I came back from the Gathering, even Coira and Maelee when they heard. They practically pounced on me the moment I got to class after returning from the Gathering." Which was a rather terrifying thought. Those two were a force to be reckoned with when they somehow got on the same wavelength. Thankfully, that wasn't often.

"What did Master Yoda and Master Yaddle say?" Master Xio asked curiously.

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Other than informing me that I'd very likely be going before the Council some time in the next few days to tell them more about my 'dark' master?" he was sure she knew about that and that Yoda (and Girth) would be coming in to speak with them at the end of this session so they could address that issue. The way her eyebrow raised ever so slightly let him know he was right, so he answered her question. "They wanted to make sure I wanted to go through with it. Master Yaddle even offered to take me on as a padawan if I wanted to get out of it."

Master Xio raised her eyebrows even higher. "She did? And you didn't accept?"

This time Anakin's smile felt sad and far too old for his youthful face. "It was only to get me out of the program. She wouldn't take me on otherwise. I know she would do her best once committed, but I don't know if that kind of relationship is one I could willingly pledge myself to again. Besides, I volunteered to go through with this. Part of me wants to – wants to prove that I can face him."

"I can see why that would appeal to you, Anakin. But are you ready for it?"

He sighed again. "I don't think I ever will be," he replied, echoing his words to Girth.

"We're just worried that you're rushing into this."

At first Anakin bristled a bit, but then he took a deep breath and thought about it. In all honesty, they were completely justified in thinking that, weren't they? He did tend to rush into things without thinking them through, even now. True, he'd tempered the habit a lot, but their thought process was still understandable.

"I... can't say that I'm not," he replied quietly. "But I can say that I am still far more qualified to go in there as opposed to any of the child ambassadors. It is also an opportunity that I would... regret not taking. That I can promise you."

The older woman returned his sigh, but nodded. "Very well, Anakin. I'll reiterate that none of us like this, but it is your choice."

He smiled at her, small but real. "And that means more to me than you know."

They shared a grin for a moment before she tapped on the data pad in front of her.

"Well, I know you don't really want to discuss Palpatine at the moment, but I would very much like to go over your rather complicated relationship with him and we can perhaps pinpoint some things that you can keep in mind during your interactions with him. We can make a basic plan to help strengthen your defense against his manipulations. Would that be okay?"

He wanted to sigh, because he really was sick of all of this... but he could also see her point of view. Besides, anything to bolster his defenses against the Sith Master would be a good thing in his book.

"Very well," he said.

Her smile turned encouraging. "Excellent, Anakin. Now, tell me everything you remember about your relationship with him. Anything you feel you can share. If there is something you can't speak of right now, just let me know and we'll move on, but the more thorough you are, the better."

His lips thinned, but he nodded.

And then started at the beginning, starting with how he met the man and how the 'kindly old senator' had filled the void of his support after Qui-gon died and he'd left his mother. He spoke of how close he and the Chancellor grew, how the former slave came to view the other as a wise man whom he could count on for anything. He spoke of how he could see now how the man's words had poisoned him and his relationship with Obi-wan, with the other Jedi, even with Padmé.

Master Xio asked for clarification here and there and wished to know what kind of wording Palpatine had used, what kinds of ideals he pushed and how they were at odds with his actions. Anakin answered her questions as best he could while trying not give into his anger and bitterness.

Then he told her how things had changed as a Sith. How he'd viewed the man as his master yet again, and yet had still seen him as a friend initially. That had changed rather quickly, though, even if Sidious had still referred to Anakin as 'old friend' for the entirety of his time as a Sith. He'd grown to hate Sidious and everything the man stood for, and yet he'd continued to fight for his master because he still believed in the cause Sidious outwardly pushed, although in reality, he'd long-since abandoned such ideology by that point.

"I was such an idiot," Anakin finally finished, his face in his hands.

"Oh, Anakin," Master Xio said softly. "He built an image for you to see from such a young age, it's not surprising you had difficulties breaking away from it. And you couldn't have prevented it because it's unrealistic at best to expect your nine-year-old self to have seen him for what he was, not with the kind of background you had. You can't blame yourself for something you had no knowledge of."

He snorted but said nothing more. It was his blindness that had caused so much pain. His inability to see the truth that had destroyed so many lives. Master Xio wasn't wrong in the fact that he as a nine-year-old couldn't have possibly seen that... but that didn't stop it from being his fault. His and Palpatine's.

There were so many reasons to hate that man.

There were so many reasons to hate himself.

He decided to skip over voicing the fact of his own guilt because she'd disagree with him and he just didn't want to get into that right now. He jumped, instead, to something he knew she'd agree with him on.

"I can see how he stopped me from ever really being free, now," he whispered. "I thought we were so close, but I know slaves who will protect their masters with their lives. I... I think that's what he was going for; a powerful slave who would do anything to protect him... at least initially. He never wanted me to take over the Sith from him." He just couldn't see Palpatine ever allowing anyone to take over.

"Whatever his goals, I'm glad you can see the consequences to his actions, Anakin."

"I wish he'd never been in my life," he said, hating how raw and exposed and tired he felt right now.

Master Xio sighed. "I know you wish you didn't have a past with him, but the truth is you and he had a relationship for far too long for you to just realistically dismiss it. I would be surprised, and a little worried, if you could."

"I killed him, you know," Anakin said, trying to point out that yes, he could just dismiss it, thank you very much. He just had to steel himself and be strong for once. "In the future."

The Jedi Master's brow furrowed a bit. "And how do you feel about that?"

He should have known better than to say something like that. He blamed his child-like mind again. He was beginning to go through puberty now, after all. And his impulsiveness could easily be attributed to that and the Emotional Regulation Disorder both Master Xio and Healer Girth agreed that he had. It didn't make for a good combination.

Still, what was done was done, and he was tired of running from the consequences of his actions, even if facing them was painful and uncomfortable.

Especially right now.

"I... don't know," he started, trying to concentrate on the knot of emotion involved in what he'd done to his former master. The Jedi healer waited patiently as he organized his thoughts. "I... part of me is proud of what I did... but I still took a life, so part of me is ashamed. Part of me just wanted him to stop hurting Luke and part of me..." Oh, he so did not want to acknowledge this... but his therapists insisted that being completely honest with himself would help him, and they hadn't really steered him wrong before. So he grit his teeth, and said it, "Part of me feels... feels terrible. That part of me still... still saw him as... as a friend," he practically spat the word, "and mentor. How stupid is that?"

Master Xio sighed. "Anakin, what you know," she tapped the side of her head, "and what you feel," she put a hand over her chest, "are two different things. You can know something completely and still not feel it – still wish for it to be different.

"You wanted the person you could trust and turn to back, and that isn't a bad thing."

"Except that he never will come back. He was never truly 'there' to begin with."

"No, but there's nothing wrong in wanting what you thought you had. I'm glad we addressed this, though, because now you can look out for it when you face him again."

Anakin swallowed, but he had to admit that she had a point.

"Part of you will want to trust him again – will very likely feel badly for not trusting him. If you have to put on the facade of trusting him, part of you will probably worry you're giving in and part of you will likely be upset at deceiving him. Part of you may even want to forget that you know it isn't real. Now that you know, you can prepare yourself and try to identify those parts of you and resist.

"Actually, this leads into something I was planning on getting to today. Your therapy, Anakin has been... well, different than what is recommended for most people with ERD, mainly because we didn't diagnose it until much later into our sessions. Healer Girth and I were speaking and we decided to try something with you if you're up for it. I mentioned before that we were going to try and create a base plan for certain instances that you're likely to run into. That is part of this new therapy."

"Plan?"

She nodded. "Yes. Here, just a moment." She pulled out her comm and opened it.

"You can come in now."

It took Anakin a moment to realize that there were, indeed, two presences on the other side of the door and he mentally kicked himself for not being aware. He also wondered what that said about his mind-set in the therapy sessions.

A moment later, it opened and both occupants of the room turned to see Healer Girth and Master Yoda stepping through the entrance. Right, they still had to figure out what was going to happen with the Jedi Council insisting Anakin tell them about his dark master.

Suddenly, he just wanted this day to be over.

Acknowledging the feeling, he released it to the Force with a sigh.

"Master Yoda. Healer Girth," Master Xio said, standing and bowing respectfully in their direction.

"Master Xio, Anakin," the drall returned with a slight bow of his own.

"Hmm. Good, it is, to see you both."

The two diminutive beings walked over to the couch and hefted themselves onto it. Anakin wondered why they didn't have a shorter couch or chairs to accommodate their smaller statures.

"Thank you both for coming," Master Xio said as she took her own seat again. "We were just discussing creating a plan for specific instances when Anakin goes to see Palpatine."

"Oh, excellent!" Healer Girth said with a smile. He turned his furry head to Anakin. "Did you come up with anything?"

Anakin shook his head. He rarely took the time to sit down and plan (now that the Emperor didn't make him half the time) because no plan survived first contact; especially his plans. Still, the idea of going into the Senate with some clue of what he was doing had already done a lot to calm him down, so he resigned himself to the necessity this time.

"If I can manage to speak to him without giving away how... worried he makes me, I don't believe I will have a problem."

"Hmm. Help there, I can. Go with you, the first time, I will," Master Yoda said. "Although wish to note, I do, that like this arrangement, I do not."

Anakin sighed. "Noted."

The green being nodded and rested his head on his hands atop his gimmer stick, saying nothing more now that he'd spoken his piece.

"But, Anakin, do you honestly think that he won't say something that could take you off guard or make you panic? Or feel cornered?" Master Xio asked, sounding rather concerned herself.

Anakin sighed. "If I do things as I should, I won't panic at all."

She raised an eyebrow in question. "Do you want to take that chance?"

Well, put that way, no... no he didn't.

So maybe looking at this was a good idea. He pushed his uncertainties and weariness aside for now and focused on the conversation.

"So if he takes you off guard or makes you feel panicked, what do you think the best option would be?" Healer Girth asked.

Anakin frowned. "It... would depend on why I was worrying or panicking," he said.

"Well, figuring out why you are panicking would be a good thing, but could you do that in his presence?" Healer Girth asked.

Anakin actually shot him a dry look. "Simply being in his presence will not prohibit my ability to think." Well, not much. Or at least that particular situation wouldn't be something he hadn't dealt with before. But then, wasn't that part of the problem here?

"Very well," Master Xio said, typing on her data pad again. "We can put that down as step 1: Figure out why you're panicking."

She took his silence as incentive to continue. "If figuring out why you're upset can calm you down enough, you can decide whether to go onto step 2 or not."

"What will step 2 be?"

"Ideally, getting you out of the situation, even if only for a few minutes, so you can calm down," Master Xio stated.

"Indeed," Girth nodded. "If you cannot figure out why you're upset, or figuring it out does little to help you, then find an excuse to leave his presence."

"That will be too obvious," Anakin protested. "He'll become suspicious."

Master Xio conceded the point with a nod, but it was Girth who spoke up.

"Well, we have two options then: find an excuse you can use – you're serving the Chancellor, of course you're going to get nervous and overwhelmed. Something along those lines. Or we can make an excuse. We can set it up so that you push a button on your comm and one of your friends or Master Yoda or myself or Master Xio or one of your teachers – someone – will call you. We can have them ask after homework, talk about how you forgot to take your 'medicine' today – I know you don't have any, we'd get you some sugar pills or the like to keep up the facade – or you have to leave early due to some complication or other."

The younger Jedi shook his head. "That will only work so many times."

Master Xio nodded, "True. But it will give us something to work with two or three times now. We can brainstorm for new ideas and discuss it at our next session."

"I also recommend a couple of calming techniques that are designed to help you pause and think things through," the drall said, bringing them back on track. "However, as most of what I usually recommend won't work in this situation, there are a couple of things that can help to ground you. We can focus on your five senses – preferably taste, smell or touch. For instance, is there a fragrance you like? We can get you a small bottle of it and you can spray it."

There were a couple – Padmé's perfumes specifically – but all of those were expensive and would draw attention. Palpatine would wonder why a child from the Jedi Temple had something so unusual and costly.

"I don't think smell will work."

Healer Girth just nodded. "How about taste then?" he asked. "We could get you some gum or a tin of mints. Those are easy to obtain and not difficult or suspicious to have on your person."

And he still loved to be able to taste. That was actually a viable option.

"I like that one better."

"Excellent," Master Xio said while Girth nodded. "And what about touch? Is there something you could rub or hold or squeeze? A stress ball, perhaps?"

"We could also get you a bottle of lotion. Just putting some on your hands can remind you to calm down and we might be able to get a good fragrance for you too."

"I think that might be too much too," Anakin said slowly, "but a stress ball... I mean, Padmé used to have some, but I've never used one."

"Padmé?"

Oh... right. He'd avoided using her name. Kriff. And did Master Yoda know he had a wife? He was pretty sure he'd said something, but Anakin couldn't remember and decided to avoid the situation for now.

"She is... someone I used to know."

He knew he hadn't fooled anyone in the room, but they all seemed willing to let it go for now.

"In any case, a tin of mints and a stress ball you can carry in the pocket of your Jedi robe are some good ideas," Master Xio piped up, making some more notes.

"What about counting backward from 20 in another language?" Girth asked. "It's a tried and true classic method," he turned to Anakin. "You focus on the numbers as hard as you can. If it's a language you're learning right now, all the better. Because the numbers mean little, it can help you to emotionally and mentally take a step back." He glanced back at master Xio. "Actually, I think that should be step 1."

"I agree," she returned with a nod, then looked over at Anakin. "What do you think?"

"Obi-wan used to tell me to do that when I got angry."

The mind-healers exchanged a glance.

"Did it work?" Master Xio asked.

Anakin shrugged. "I never used it." Well, he had, but rarely. He couldn't ever remember it working, but he couldn't remember it not working either, and it had been so long...

"Well, we're focusing specifically on panic or worry, right now, but I don't see why these methods couldn't work for anger in a pinch," Girth commented. Then he met Anakin's gaze again. "If you're willing to try."

It really wasn't difficult to see how distracting himself and trying to take an emotional step back could help him in front of Palpatine, so he nodded. It was better than his method of focusing on his hatred or of how to kill the next Jedi he came across in any case. After all, that was how he'd dealt with Palpatine's presence before. That, or forcing himself to focus on what Palpatine wanted him to focus on and nothing else. That had taken a while to perfect... and it might actually be a plan of action he could still use if necessary.

Alright, so the plan is to go in as calmly as he could and focus on whatever he needed to focus on to keep up his facade. Simple enough and he could work with it if he needed to adjust.

"Let's just walk through it all for now," Master Xio said with a smile. "So, if you find your emotions are getting to be too much to handle, the first thing you do?"

"Count backwards from 20 in a random language, squeeze the stress ball and eat a mint," Anakin answered, glad he'd been able to follow everything until now. "This will help me take an emotional and mental step back so I can analyze the situation better."

"And step 2?"

"Analyze why I feel what I feel."

"Excellent," Healer Girth grinned. "And step 3?"

"If I can analyze my emotions and it calms me down or I feel I can handle it, carry on. If I can't analyze my emotion or it doesn't help, find a way to get out."

Girth nodded, but also held up his paw. "I want to say that normally, we wouldn't want you to get out of most undesirable situations. It encourages avoidance, and while avoiding your triggers can be positive, there are times where you will have to deal with them and can't just get out. At that point, you need to be able to face them."

"However, most such situations don't involve a Sith Lord bent on ruling the universe who is extremely intelligent and who can possibly read your emotions if not your mind," Master Xio said a bit wryly.

The drall snorted softly. "Indeed." He turned to Anakin again. "It's something to keep in mind in the future. If you're in a situation you would usually rather avoid for emotional reasons, try to use these steps to help yourself get through the situation instead."

Anakin blinked. What kinds of situations could he possibly get into that he couldn't otherwise handle?

"Like what?" he asked.

For the first time in a while, Master Yoda spoke up. "Noticed, I have, that speak of your emotions, you do not. Speak of your shortcomings, you do not, although admit that you have them, you do often."

Master Xio looked like she agreed. "We did kind of have to pry it all out of you."

Anakin thought of his old timeline, when he and Obi-wan would dance around issues they had for weeks or months (sometimes years) before a situation would force them to actually say something about it. Hadn't that been one of the reasons why he'd never told his old master about Padmé? It had all been about saving face and keeping up the illusion that he was... well, the best.

"I... think I see what you mean," he finally said slowly. "And I will... endeavor to not allow such things to happen in the future."

Master Xio smiled. "Thank you, Anakin. Now, we'll give you a comm where you can push a button and it will alert one of us. Whoever can get to you first will be the one to respond. After the first two times, we'll try and figure something else out."

"Hopefully it won't get that far," Anakin said. He still wasn't sure this would be a reliable failsafe, but having a general plan in place did help.

"I hope you know that all of this applies if you're out of Palpatine's vicinity too," Girth pointed out, a soft smile on his face. "Although you'll have more options available to you, and again, we'd prefer if you didn't make a habit out of avoiding difficult things."

The room fell silent for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts, until Master Xio spoke up. "We should also set up some code words for Anakin to use depending on the severity of the situation. For instance, we could use colors. You describe something white to mean that you're fine or that there isn't actually a problem – you accidentally hit the button or it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. You mention something blue to indicate that it's something you'll be able to deal with in a few minutes and just need to step out. You mention something yellow to indicate that you might need a break for the day, and something red for us to get you out ASAP."

Obviously Master Xio didn't study codes. But it wasn't like they needed anything elaborate right now, and it was something easy that they could all remember.

"I agree," Girth said with a nod of his head before he turned his beady eyes on Anakin. "But only if you will use that system responsibly. That means being as honest with yourself and with us as you can be. If you press the button and need to get out for a few minutes, no telling us you're fine. You won't trouble us. And it goes just as well in the other direction. If you use the 'red' code once, I think we should reconsider you going back at all. If you use the yellow one several times in a row, that is also a sign that we should reconsider."

"We'll find a way and a reason," Master Xio said to Anakin, stopping him from voicing a protest. "But your mental health comes first here. If you use the red code, that's perfectly fine, but Girth is right. It is likely a sign that you may not be able to go back, for whatever reason. Obviously it will be a case by case basis, but we will reconsider you returning to his presence if it proves to be too much. And considering your history with him, that would be perfectly understandable."

"And finally," Healer Girth said again, "we need a plan for afterwards. Master Xio and I won't always be available, especially if you come back early. But going off on your own is not a good idea."

"Yes, that will be strictly forbidden," Master Xio agreed. "If Healer Girth or myself aren't available, seek out Master Yoda, or Siri, or one of your friends. Find a way to not be alone. That is very important."

Anakin cocked his head, confused. "Why?" Couldn't he just go off and train? That was how he'd dealt with things up until this point.

"Because after being with someone like him, who can twist your words and thoughts and ideas, it's important to counteract that as quickly as possible," Healer Girth said, his voice almost grave. "If you don't, it can lead to the thoughts and ideas festering, tearing down your morale and building up bad habits. It allows those ideas to take root, which can make them even more difficult to talk about."

Master Xio nodded in agreement. "Yes, we need you to find someone to speak with about these things."

"So preferably someone in the know," Anakin muttered.

"Or to a Master, you could go," Master Yoda said thoughtfully. "As long as speak only, you do, about what the Chancellor told you, hmm?"

"As a last resort," Anakin asked a bit dryly.

Master Yoda nodded.

He could already tell how uncomfortable that would be. But again, the mind-healers hadn't steered him wrong yet.

"Very well," he conceded. "Find someone and talk to them about Palpatine as the last step."

"Even if what you spoke of with him doesn't seem too serious, we still need you to do it," Master Xio insisted.

Anakin wanted to sigh. This just seemed like it would be more work he didn't have time for. But this was Palpatine they were talking about. He knew how dangerous that man could be. So he nodded again.

"Excellent," Master Xio stated, exchanging a relieved smile with Healer Girth.

"I think that concludes everything we needed to talk about regarding that," the drall said with a satisfied nod.

"Now," Master Yoda spoke up again, "speak, we should, of the Council summons."

Anakin didn't groan, but it was a near thing. He already felt emotionally drained. But this had to be done. Story of his life, lately.

"Yes, Master."

xXx

It actually didn't turn out to be so badly, especially seeing as neither Master Xio or Healer Girth thought now was a good time to let Anakin be questioned about Palpatine, for which he was incredibly grateful. Master Xio even said she would personally go before the Council and demand they wait until Anakin was ready.

Right as he was leaving, it really hit him how lucky he was for having two therapists who fit so well with him. Somehow he doubted that everyone got their therapists right on the first try.

Or, perhaps it was the will of the Force instead of luck.

He went to bed smiling that night.

xXx

AN: Sorry it might seem a bit rushed, but the chapter was rather long already and next chapter is all about The Meeting *dun dun dun*, so I didn't want to take away from it by putting more therapy stuff in there. I like to keep those to 1 chapter in most cases.

So, apparently some of my amazing readers are people who have actually been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (what I'm calling Emotional Regulation Disorder or ERD in this story) and after consulting them, they suggested to actually map out plans for situations because it's a very common treatment for borderline personality disorder. If Anakin has pre-thought-out things to do when he begins to panic, it will help him remain calm and actually think things through. At least, that's the idea behind it. We'll see if it actually pans out that way. LOL

Thank you again for your support! It means so much to me! I'm looking to get a book published here soon, so if that works, I'll let people know. :) Probably won't be for a few months at best, but yeah.

Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate!

–Thanks to my beta readers, Khalthar, BoyTranscending and Carradee!