333 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart with Swiftdrawer & Friends
Chapter 4: Sponsored By K-Mart
Date: February 4th, 2023
I laugh again as I read the next item on my list over again to verify if. "14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice." "Perfect! This will be so easy! Except for the fact I don't even remember half the words. I know the song but I don't know the words! I used to know the lyrics of quite a few songs but not anymore!" I go to the music section with no one paying attention to me for obvious reasons. They have a whole aisle of guitars apparently. I pick up this really damaged looking one. An employee approaches me: "Uhh excuse me but that guitar is heavily damaged. Let me take that off your hands and get you a guitar of that design that's not broken." "Nah, I'd rather take this one." "Corporate policy bans selling broken merchandise! Broken items must be reported and destroyed!" "I don't give a damn about what the policy is! I want this thing!" "You aren't allowed to have it! It's the law!" "In that case.." I run from the employee strumming the guitar with ease despite the strings now being potentially dangerous while screaming the only words I know to the song. "WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! I DONT KNOW THE WORDS, JUST THE TITLE! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS!" I keep doing that for a couple minutes, running around just screaming and shrieking so loudly. "My ears! Stop it! Stop It!" "WAAAAAAAAAAH!" "NOT ONE OF YOU SCREAMERS, I THOUGHT THEY JAILED ALL OF YOU!" "This is why I'm glad metal music is illegal now! So annoying!" "What are you, a goblin? Stop this nonsense!"
As I went around, more and more people than before got irritated to the point a security guard yelled at me despite the other chaos that was still going on throughout the whole store including what I know Pickle Pants pulled. "SIR, YOU'RE DISRUPTING OTHER PEOPLE, STOP NOW OR ELSE, I WILL HAVR TO HAND YOU OVER TO THE WALPOLICE!" "WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS! WAKE ME UP WHILE SEPTEMBER ENDS!" I let him drag me out of the store as I continued to do that. The buff guard then looked at me in confusion all of the sudden. "You're so hard to drag around! How is that possible?" I stop screaming and grin. "I'm actually wearing armor." Now he sees it. "Impossible! That's real metal armor! You've been wearing it the whole time?! But how?! What are you?! Some knight cosplayer which is against the law?!" "I'm not just a cosplayer, I'm a real knight. I'm going to turn you into a card in a second. *performs a major beatdown on the guy* There we go, this will keep you suspended for as long as needed!" I turn him into a card as he screams. Bray already knows what happened as she and the others have already started waiting to start the next group prank. As she told me later, she remotely changed my disguise through the same spell as before. I walk back in the store as if nothing ever happened and join up with the others.
*Carlos* "28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song." "Didn't Minglow Bats sing that song not that long ago? *uses phone to look up lyrics* I'll sing it word for word! Woohoo! To wherever the bathing suits are!" On the way to the bathing suits, he encounters Bray. "Brother, I see that you're doing the bathing suit thing. Allow me to make getting an actual bathing suit unnecessary." Carlos sees his disguise get changed by his sister with a quick spell. "Thanks Bray! You're the best! I can't wait to do this now!" "You do not need to tell me that. I shall only need your continued love, Carlos. Now, I must get to my prank. See you for the group pranks. Farewell, my brother." And so, they part ways. Carlos immediately runs around the store singing the famous song but in a version that slightly insults the USA. "Surfin' screw USA!" He did this for several minutes around the store. "Stop singing! I can't focus on my stuff!" "Why are you making fun of my favorite song?!" "Aye! I love this song but where's the music? Also, don't you realize it's illegal to sing loudly in any public place? Keep it down or they'll get you!" "Mama, that strange man is singing!" "I know that, dear. Let's just ignore him and continue looking for that toy you want so much." "Shut up! How am I supposed to even begin unscrambling the mess that is the chaos that has run rampant throughout this store! Stop running! That's illegal!" Karen and Kevin don't even acknowledge how annoying he is as they literally continue to argue with each other. By the time he was done singing, a bunch of people were mad at him. A newly brought in security guard from the Walmart Furniture Store across the street goes after him so a crowd of pissed off customers wouldn't do so instead. "Stop right there, young man! You aren't allowed to insult that song! It's too important to our Walmart planet to be allowed to insult." Through some trickery to see if the guard was worth hurting as a reply, Carlos quickly got the security guard to spill his darkest secrets. They were so bad Carlos had no choice but to kill him.
*Pickle Rick Not An Alien* "32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can 'catch' from the other aisles." "Ahahaha! I have always wanted to catch some humans!" Pickle Rick whistles for absolutely no reason as he goes look for fishing rods in the outdoors section. Some stereotypically attractive man speaks to him as he reaches for a fishing rod: "You there! Listen to me! If you get that fishing rod and use it, don't use it anywhere public unless you want it to be taken away from you!" "What?! There's laws against fishing in public places now too?" "That is correct. And because you've picked the fishing rod, you have fallen right for my trap. Fishing rods are illegal now as well. As one of Walmart's many spy agents devoted to catching troublemakers like you, I am bound to bring you straight to our big boss, the CEO and president of Walmart formerly known as Planet Earth!" Pickle Rick just laughs and reads the man's mind. "Hahaha. You don't scare me! *pulls out BRAIN Blaster* I know how cruel you are! Disintegrate!" Yes, the random person was yet another bastard and was soon a pile of ash. Pickle Rick puts away his weapon before anyone sees it and then gets the fishing rod he was trying to get. With it in hand, he adjusts its aim and uses the crank to send it up above the shelves and into the next aisle over. He doesn't hear anything so he just starts pulling and pulling until someone screams in pain. "AAAAAAAA WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!" Pickle Rick Not An Alien doesn't want to unleash unnecessary bloodlust so he retracts the fishing rod. It comes back to him with the plastic bait on it covered in fresh blood. "First blood! It wouldn't be funny if I just killed that person though.. Can't do much about that if it happens.. Oh well. Time for more chaos!" He then does the same thing over but aims for 2 aisles over. He manages to abduct a random rubber chicken toy that immediately begins screaming as he starts to reel it in. It continues to scream even after he stops reeling it in. Once he detaches it from the fishing rod, he throws it on the ground nearby, steps on it, and runs to another aisle to continue fishing.
The chicken would continue to scream for several minutes due to all the pressure that was applied to it. "Hahaha! This is so much fun! Let's see what else I can catch!" The many sounds of people getting caught by the rod would be music to his ears. "Arg! This pain! What is this? I'm just trying to inspect this place so there are no problems to deal with in the future! I came here on reports of total chaos!" "Hey! Who put this fishing rod on the top of my head?!" "Did something just puncture my head! Ow! Ow! Ow! How is that even possible?! It just shouldn't even be possible but it is! What is going on?!" "Eeek! I'm afraid of something touching my head and hurting me! This is my worst nightmare! *screams*" "Dada! Lookie! There's something on your head!" "What? What is this?!" The alien feels someone grab the fishing rod. In response, he reels it back in faster and harder than the force being exerted to pull off something like that. After a minute, a heavily bleeding man is pulled over from another aisle. The alien reads his mind and sweats heavily, casting a healing spell on the man and using telekinesis to return him to wherever he was reeling in from. "That ruined my fun! That man's innocent! I don't want to do this anymore!" He puts the fishing rod back only to come face to face with yet another newly deployed security guard from somewhere else in the general area. But Pickle Rick easily immobilizes them with a secret crowbar before reading that guard's mind too. Finding no reason to hurt him, Pickle Rick Not An Alien lets the security guard go and wake up some other time. He would then meet up with the others for a group prank and a meal break(Pickle Pants was the only one who didn't partake because he doesn't need to eat for some reason and he's busy ruining the entire day of a cashier).
*Pirate Blaster* "41. Dress up in a trench coat wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper 'use this wisely.'" "Yar! Can you believe this, Thrashbeak?! I finally get to do this one! Swiftdrawer would have done it instead but they got plenty more pranks to pull! So they couldn't do this one. That means I can instead! Go watch me from atop one of the shelves, my friend!" "Squawk! Thrashbeak will watch!" The bird then flew to a shelf in the clothing section while the pirate teleported there before the bird could even land. With his skills from years of his old days hunting for treasure, Pirate Blaster has a trench coat and sunglasses on in no time. He then teleports to the area where the guns are sold and the cashier there is still terrified from what happened earlier. Pirate Blaster laughs to himself, all too aware of what happened earlier before quickly swiping a cap gun which was apparently sold there instead of in the kids section. He whispers: "Easier than digging up some booty! Time to go back! Arr!" He then teleports back to where Thrashbeak is perched on top of a shelf in waiting. Someone nearby happens to be looking through one of those rings of shirts which shows signs of being messed with earlier. As noise is heard from Carlos and Swiftdrawer, Pirate Blaster finds the perfect moment to walk up to them just as they were about to look at pants. "The rooster is in the nest." The person replies: "What's going on?" Pirate Blaster hands them the cap gun and whispers: "Use this wisely." The person grins: "What has to be done, secret agent person?" "Spread all the chaos, that's how we'll find the bad guys! Arr!" "Roger that!" The person then runs off and Pirate Blaster quickly steals popcorn through teleportation and watches things transpire while eating the stolen popcorn.
The person yells after walking a good distance away: "Look at me! I have a gun! FEAR MY POWER!" The person just pretends to fire bullets at people. Screams are heard everywhere in the closest 20 meters as everyone starts fleeing from the person. The person then expertly points the gun at a different security guard who just entered the store. "You must be one of the bad guys! Prepare to die!" "Sir, this is illegal! Disrupting the peace with anything, even a cheap toy gun is illegal!" The person smirks and pulls out a real gun: "Is that so? I don't care about the law. The government doesn't serve the people so why should the people serve it?" Pirate Blaster runs to stand next to this person and Thrashbeak secretly gets inside Pirate Blaster's trench coat. "Arr! You're either a bad guy or a goon, security guard!" "What did you just say?!" Seconds later, the security guard was bleeding heavily and turned into a card. Pirate Blaster then offers the person the chance to join BRAINS and strike at Walmart when the time comes. The person agrees before mysteriously disappearing. The pirate then joined the others for the group prank.
*Fluffy Afro* "43. Walk along an aisle and look at someone. Giggle at them and say to no one: 'I know I know... hehehe..' Keep doing it until they give you a weird look and walk off." "Hahaha, I'm so glad Swiftdrawer fixed this one to make it more grammatically correct! I'm too wacky to even know what grammatically correct means but I do know it's a good thing and that I can actually read this one as it's on my list by my choices! Time to go bug someone!" The clown then does a goofy walk until he finds an empty aisle, just barely missing getting "catched" by Pickle Rick Not An Alien in the aisle as the loud vocal stuff began. In the aisle he's in, there's only one person other than him. He starts walking along the aisle while staring at them the whole time. He giggles and then says to no one in particular: "I know I know... hehehe.." The person was looking at their phone but is now feeling like they're watched as they pick up something they're going to buy and put it in their cart. "I know I know... hehehe.." The person being bothered gives a face that implies they think they hear something but they also think they might just be hearing things as they move further down the aisle. "I know I know... hehehe.." They then look at some coupons and silently figure out what in the aisle is on sale with any of the coupons. "I know I know... hehehe.." They backtrack closer to where Fluffy is walking slowly while staring at them the entire time. "I know I know... hehehe.." The person gets a box which is ultimately meaningless to specify the contents of. "I know I know... hehehe.." They put that thing into the cart. "I know I know... hehehe.." "What is that voice? I must be imagining things!" "I know I know... hehehe.." They look and see Fluffy who had just stopped saying such things briefly enough to trick them a little. But when they turn around.. "I know I know... hehehe.." The person then turns back to Fluffy before zooming further down the aisle. Fluffy keeps his eyes locked on them and follows them. "I know I know... hehehe.." The person gives Fluffy a weird look after 2 more minutes of this and speedily walks off to another aisle. Nothing eventful happens due to the other chaos that was or is still going on. Fluffy then goes meet up with the others.
*Dominic* "44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day." "What a nap causation. Maybe I shouldn't have volunteered to do this one. It's so repetitive and boring that I'm getting a headache over how boring it is. This is is troublesome. Oh well. Better tell the others to avoid the area where the clocks are after this if they don't remember that I'm going to set up to go off every 10 minutes." He sighs before getting the same idea as Pirate Blaster. Teleporting everywhere now that there was so much chaos dividing the attentions of the Walmart employees currently working at the store at any capacity. He teleports to the clocks and literally bends time so to the universe, it would be like he only spent a few minutes setting the alarms on all of the clocks. There was no one where they were at the time so he took full advantage of the opportunity to do it all without getting interrupted by anyone or anything to any degree at all. As he set them all manually, he complained a lot. "What an annoyance. There are so many clocks. I'm already running out of my tolerance for this!" "Was this intended to be done by multiple people?! That's not what it said where Swiftdrawer got the list from online! If it was meant to be a solo task all along, whoever came up with this challenge sure wanted to make anyone who did this one suffer. What a nap causation." "How many more are there left? Even my hands are aching and my mind is bleh from setting all of these annoying alarms." "I want to crush whoever was responsible for this nap causation of a way to get kicked out of this store." "There's another one done. What a nap causation. It feels like my mind is melting and turning to mush at the same time. I'm going to get zoned out soon for doing this. No big deal." He continues the quest to set all the alarms. And eventually, he finishes and looks more meh than a meh emoji. More like bleh meh but ya know. "Finally done. That was like a nap causing eternity and I have a migraine from all of that. But.. No! I still have to finish setting them! Arrrrrg! What a nap causation! Fine.. At least it's not complicated. That's no big deal."
He then finishes setting them up by pressing one final button on each. When he's done, he allows reality to return to normal before going to meet up with the others. Right before he does move to join the others, he spends some time enjoying the fact that people are now coming to the aisle in large droves to probably get away from annoying singing or screaming. They gawk at the fact that all the clocks are counting down for some reason. The scientist kept reality warped enough for there to only be 30 seconds left until all of the alarms set off one after another. Dominic puts in earplugs as they all begin to go off one after another. It's a symphony of annoying different tones of alarm sounds, causing confusion and chaos to spread in the clock area. People are crashing into each other while covering their ears, screaming over the alarms, trying to disable some only to realize the futility of disabling any of them, and so on. That's when Dominic leaves the scene behind.
*Austin* "60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, 'A clue a clue!'" "Swiftdrawer mentioned Blue's Clues once! I'm excited! Gotta rock n roll all night! To the paint!" The paint so happened to be by the area now contaminated by air freshener spray but he ignores the smells and finds a can of blue paint with ease. That was after he kind of swiped a white shirt to put in over what he was really wearing. He and Bray happened to see each other briefly so she adjusted the spell to include that white shirt. Now with the blue paint in hand, Austin excitedly ripped the plastic off of it with too much force, almost breaking the bucket of paint in the process. It was still in good shape though so he took the lid off and dipped his entire right hand real good in it. Carlos ran past him while singing. Austin laughed before dropping the bucket and seeing the closest person. With his hand covered in blue paint, he says: "A clue! A clue!" The person he looked at just slowly backs away so Austin pulls the same thing several times over until the paint dries. Literally the same thing happened with them all over again so there's nothing much to bring up in this case sadly. None of them said anything to him due to everything else that was going on at the time. He met up with the others shortly thereafter.
*Blaze* "65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you." "Of course I have the nerves to do that! My life is full of danger and fun! This is nothing! Time to go get what I need and wait for things to calm down in the front because I think things are going to get chaotic there! Awoo! Wait, wouldn't it be better to have Bray just change my disguise? Ya know, just in case the macho guy I talk to is secretly a creep who may think I'm a minor when I'm not one!" The wolf then calls Bray: "Bray! Please change my disguise for the baby diaper one." "I should have foreseen it was you who chose that one. Don't worry, it shall be done. I must be focused on my own prank now, we shall see each other for the next group activity we have planned to cause mischief in this store. Farewell until then, Blaze." "Till then!" They both hang up. Blaze knows that the change has been made to their disguise so they wait a few minutes in the back of the store where no one is paying attention to the wolf who looks like a normal human at the moment. After they use their hearing to figure out when things calm down in the front, they teleport there not too long before the person Pirate Blaster talked to would be confronted by a guard. Actually scratch that, Blaze wasn't looking for a quiet moment, they were looking ironically for chaos to make asking a macho man just that much funnier. They just wanted to speak their intentions to no one in a opposite way of what they really meant to say. The wolf then uses their nose again to find someone who has a lot of muscle and find the perfect person to approach. A macho man who looks like anger itself as been born as a human. They walk to the man and ask: "Hey there dude, can you change me?" The man looks angry and insulted: "What are you doing in a baby diaper?! If you really need a diaper, get an adult one and put some clothes on! This is so gross! SECURITY!" Blaze speeds away and messages Bray to change their disguise back to what it was. And that's when a different macho man talks to them at the back of the store.
"You there.. What?! I saw you in a baby diaper just now? I thought you just couldn't afford a full sized diaper and that you have you know what kind of problems. I was going to offer to change you into some diapers your size but now.." Blaze looks mortified.. "But now.. Your appearance has changed like magic! What's going on? There's no such thing as magic! How did you do that? If you could teach me, I could become tough enough to impressive my wife who left me for some man who looks like he's the definition of anger and should be at the front of the store right now!" The wolf just teleports away and hides until it was time to meet with the others again.
*Bray* "116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, 'I see dead people!'" "This shall be interesting. But before I do this one, I must look for some elderly people in the store. I also must help some of my friends who I foresee will require me to change their magical disguises. That won't take long." After taking care of all of that, Bray finds a large group of elderly people and exclaims while widening her eyes: "I see dead people!" One of the elderly people stares firmly at her: "Look who's talking!" The others in the group shout: "OOOOOO" at the same time. Bray is unfazed and just walks off, she has seen too much to find something so unexpected unbelievable at all. Instead of stopping what she was trying to do, she focused on sole elderly people shopping. She finds another a section away but turns back upon smelling all those air fresheners, preferring to go elsewhere to bother someone else. That's when she eventually finds one in the book aisles. "I see dead people!" The elderly person she found and turns: "Hunny, I'm not sure what you mean but as you can see, I'm not quite dead yet. The doctor says I should have at least a few more years to live! Visiting them may have cost what's left of the money I used to get from social security before the government got rid of it but it was worth it knowing that I should be able to spend a few more years with my grandkids. It's Halloween time and I'm here to buy some books for me and some candy to hand out to the cute little children!" "I see. I'm glad to hear it. But you should have been given free healthcare. I shall leave it at that, I was making a joke and you took it seriously. I must go now. May we see each other again someday." They both nod at each other before Bray has more encounters until it was time for everyone to meet up. The sage ignored all of the commotion going on while she went around saying that same thing over and over to different people. "I see dead people!" "What did you say? I can't hear a thing!" "I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!" "Dead people?! Where?! Every since my grandchildren convinced me to see Scream 6, I've been terrified of creepy things like dead people!"
"I was kidding." "I see dead people!" "Are you referring to me? I might as well be a dead person by now! I'm so burnt out and tired of everything! I came here to buy something that would help me with this in my old age but there's nothing! You look well for someone advanced in age just like me! Who do you do it?" "I must not tell you. That secret shall be kept in order to ensure more balance in harmony and so on." "That makes me sad but oh well, I'll get over it. Go on wherever you need to be. I'll be fine!" "I see dead people!" "How dare you use a joke used by those dang kids these days to mock me! I will put you in your place! Even though you are up there in years like me, you stand no chance against me in anyway, shape, or form! I've seen war!" "I've seen war and much worse.. *walks away* I shall not be dealing with you for any longer than all that just now." "I see dead people!" "What?! Dead people?! Which ones, a lot of people have been dying today and when they do die, I can sense their souls depart from this world!" "..I didn't realize anyone had those kinds of abilities. I must go."
*Banana Rick Not An Alien* "133. Walk up to someone and say 'Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun'. Then walk away." "Hahahahaha! I think I'm going to do this and wait somewhere just in case they lose their patience and look for me! That would be so funny! Imagine if they actually took my words seriously!" The disguised alien then quickly finds the perfect victim. A lonely looking person who is just standing around, doing very little despite the fact they're inside Walmart with everyone else. She gets their attention and says: "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun." "What?! I've never seen you before! Or wait, have I? I'm so lonely! Please answer me!" "I told you to never come back here! You forgot about me already? That makes me sad as well!" "No, how could have I allowed myself to forget someone like you? The government is after me! It's like all these shoppers are almost zombie like. Those wokeists ruined everything for me! Help me get out of this situation with that shotgun of yours! Please!" "I'll go get it. Like I said." Banana Rick walks off and immediately goes to hide somewhere as best as she could. Shortly before she would end up meeting with that others, the guy finds her: "Why didn't you come back? You could have easily done so!" "That's because we've never actually met." "HOW DARE YOU!" "*uses freeze ray, freezing the guy in place* Hahahaha! Loser! I got you! Bye now!" Banana Rick meets up with the others after doing all that.
*Dr. Bonesbane* "152. Ask for Goat Milk." "Is this a got milk reference? Swiftdrawer has shared a lot of random pieces of information about their world. More importantly, I will execute this operation. It's very broad so I'm just going to bother the nearest employee and see what happens." The furry scientist walks to the nearest employee after using a life signature detection style device. The employee stares at him before greeting him: "Hello there, how may I help you? Have I seen you before now like earlier when someone claimed the store was being flooded?" "No, you haven't. Could I get Goat Milk?" "The brand of soaps or whatever or actual goat milk. We only carry actual goat milk as formula right now." "Goat Milk." "What goat milk? Actual or branded soap?" "Goat Milk." "Sir, that doesn't answer my question. If you don't tell me, I'm getting the manager." "I said Goat Milk." "What goat milk are you referring to?" "Goat Milk." "That's it, I'm too sick of this. *pulls out a gun* I'll just kill you!" "No you won't. *pulls out stun gun and fires it* I'm going to go ask someone else now for Goat Milk." The employee was now completely stuck in place, unable to move a muscle. Dr. Bonesbane dealt with the same crap twice before he just went away to meet with the others for the next group prank.
*Madeline* "162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, 'God has spoken!!!'" "I think I'll change my disguise for this one! This is going to raise some eyebrows." She casts a spell to change her look to that of a priestess before waiting for the intercom to come on. When she was about to enter Berserk Mode from waiting too long, it finally comes on. "Please all guests and employees listen to the following message. Avoid the whatever area the air fresheners are located. The fumes there are extremely unpleasant right now. Thank you." Madeline falls on her knees and screams with tears of joy: "God has spoken!" A lot of people give her looks and comments. "When was the last time you left your church to go to Walmart?" "Seriously, what the hell! Have you never been exposed to modern technology? Now that Walmart rules, you must renounce your religion! Only Walmart is the allowed religion! Do this fast before they come get you!" "I'm surprised anyone still follows the Christian God after all that has happened!" "Your God is false, Money is the real God!" "Be quiet! God may have more messages for us! Finally, God is responding to my prayers!" Suddenly, some secret agents come out of nowhere to capture her. "YOU WILL NOT TAKE ME, I WILL CRUSH ALL OF YOU!" Madeline is now in Berserk Mode. 5 seconds later, the agents were all turned into cards. She then teleported away to the confusion of onlookers. The cleric promptly met with the others.
*Pickle Pants* Pickle Pants continues to cause trouble for the cashier he's wasting time with by handing item after item with the barcodes marked on by black marker. However, he uses his powers to be at 2 places at once because he can apparently do that and only just now remembered that. "163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way." "Hahaha! My parents are going to love hearing about me do this!" Pickle Pants was about to run to the bike aisle when he remembered that he can just teleport as well. With everything that was going on, there was pretty much no way for anyone to notice him do that so that's what he did. After teleporting to the bikes, he remarked: "I was the worst at bikes when I was a kid! I haven't been on a bike since! I hope I don't burn down the store and everyone in it with my horrible cycling skills!" Pickle Pants then picked the biggest bike that was closest to him of the biggest bikes. And then, he tries to get on only to fall right off. "Owww! I'm terrible at this!" He ignored everyone around him and managed to get on the bike after 4 more fails. "Finally, that was the 69th time I failed at getting on a bike just now throughout my whole life! But that's okay because I get to crash into everything!" Pickle Pants would then gain the nickname of "The Terror on A Bicycle" for what he was about to do. He started getting the bike to move successfully but immediately crashed into someone's shopping cart which was filled to the brim with stuff. In complete sims fashion, he panicked at first as he crashed. But then, he laughed at the damage he caused and became happy, completely ignoring the terror that was actually now there on the side from not being fully prepared to crash no matter how bad he knew he was at riding bikes. But it's like he suddenly leveled up in the cycling skill as he was easily able to get the bike back up and get back on to continue cycling. Since the whole store was largely crowded, it was truly something ridiculous and terrifying at the same time. Pickle Pants just laughed maniacally as he ignored the reactions of everyone as he crashed into everyone and everything.
Between his intent and horrible cycling skills, it was easy for him to crash into so many people and things. His next victims were a family of 4. As they were knocked down, they fell and screamed just like RCT3 peeps. Hell, one of the family members was sent flying into a nearby shopping cart. That one recovered and ran away in fright. Guess Bicycle 1 was just too intense for them. Then he crashed into the very shelf of bikes he got his from, causing them to all fall to the floor and trap a lot of people. It's important to note here that most of these people throughout the store were stuck up jerks with no sense of care for many other people. That includes most people who were trapped under the bicycles. And Walmart wouldn't even help them. Instead, Dominic's clones infused with magic from various sources rescued the innocent behind the scenes every single time something chaotic and harmful like this happened in the store. Each clone was equipped with magic that allowed them to peer into the souls of all they saw without fail. It took a lot of magic for them to be enchanted to do so but it was clearly worth it. Anyway, after trapping a lot of people, Pickle Pants crashed into over 60 people, several shopping carts, a huge stuffed animal, a refrigerator, several pillars, and finally, the thing that ended the service life of the bicycle for now, one of the puddles from earlier pranks such as the relocation of "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. It was a great big crash that was largely ignored thanks to Carlos and his singing. So great in fact that Pickle Pants narrow escaped sustaining serious injury and the bike crashed while comic style text sound effects appeared in the air around it as it fell apart. Pickle Pants sighed in disappointment before storing every piece of bicycle in his ender pouch and heading off to meet the others with his maniacal laughter back in play. He caused so much terror and damage that the security guards were too scared to confront him from then on.
*Minglow Bats* "167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say: 'I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.' Then call and say: 'I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3.'" "This will be interesting. The Riley brothers will love to hear about this one as well. My dull voice will make it all the more perfect and well executed. With this phone that was given to me, the call won't be able to be traced. I still do not understand what that means but I'm certain it's a good thing." The Lost Academia teacher dials the number of the front desk at this particular Walmart after casting a spell to find out said number. It rings. "Hurry up and pick up. I want this to be over with. As amusing as this is, I do not see how this would cause much chaos which is needed to eventually topple Walmart in this universe for good." It rings more. It rings and it rings. And then finally, someone picks up. "Hello valued customer, this is Walmart Supercenter #6969 Customer Service line. How may I help you?" "I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again." "Hello, is this a prank? Are you there, customer on the other line?" "*casts magic* *beeping error noises created with magic* The sound of hanging up is heard. Then, Minglow Bats changes the supposed phone number of his phone just in case. All BRAINS phones can do the same exact thing. And then, he dials them again. It rings and this time is answered faster. "Hello valued customer, this is Walmart Supercenter #6969 Customer Service line. How may I help you? Don't mind the sounds of screaming and fire in the background. It's just a movie, don't worry about it." "I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3." (It was not a "movie".)
"Don't waste my time, dull sounding wise guy. Look, this is the 2nd time I have heard a dull voice. Are you using two phones?! This must be a prank! I'm getting security on you. Stay in aisle 3. If you don't want to get hurt, you better!" Minglow hears the sound of the other phone being slammed in order to be hung up. "That was something. Jokes on that person, I'm nowhere near that aisle. They will never find me. I'll just go to the meeting point early then. I have no need to do anything else at the moment."
*Banana Pants* "177. Poke people and run away screaming, 'Don't touch me!!!'" Banana Pants doesn't say anything, he just goes right for doing just that. He quickly finds a less crowded area in the store and braves the slight smell of many air fresheners combined into one jumbled and repulsive aroma. When he gets to that area, he pokes several people before running away while screaming: "Don't touch me!!!" "What the hell is that dude on?" "That was random." "I think he might be on some edibles if you want what you mean." "Man, I wish we could still have edibles. But they're now so illegal that the cops keep posing as fake edible dealers to catch everyone." Banana Pants goes elsewhere in the store, finding a small crowd around a console. He pokes several people in the crowd before running away while screaming: "Don't touch me!!!" They all turned their attention to him and looked pretty annoyed due to being distracted from that console. But he was gone before they could say anything. And the Banana Pants just kept repeating that several times over leading to a variety of vocal reactions. "Agh! You snowflake! You poked me! Stop lying, you touched me, not the other way around!" I didn't feel whatever that was supposed to be. Your joke is pathetic." "Mister! Poke me again! Poke me more and say that I'm the one who poked you again! Please?!" In short, he pissed a lot of people off. He ignored the kid and kept doing that crap for a couple more minutes before meeting up with the others. Most of people he pissed off happened to soon run in terror due to the bicycle thing while the rest who didn't would look for him to no avail. It was clear they wanted to get back at him or send security after him after finding him.
*Hamaduh Riley* "217. Tap dance through the store." Despite the fact the store had to bring in more and more people from other businesses nearby to help, the chaos in the store was still constant. However, in the midst of the chaos, the in store music kept playing loud enough to be heard. "Yay! Time for fun with the music! I've never tap danced but I'm going to do it anyway!" Between the agility he has gained from training in non magical combat and his lack of experience with tap dancing, it was a entertaining show that somehow caused 0 injuries. The Minecraftian mage prankster literally failed at tap dancing but somehow, he was able to keep failing in time with the annoying overproduced pop music that was playing throughout the store as part of the background noise. Not even he is sure how he was doing it but here's some of the commentary of things he said while gracefully failing at tap dancing. "This garbage music is so easy to fail to! I never knew I'd be this bad at tap dancing! Why has it just changed and what's with the bad singing? Oh right!" "This is terrifying! I keep failing and it's so crowded around here! How have I not accidentally died already?!" "Watch it? I literally didn't hurt you, person! So you watch your trap! Sheesh! I may be bad at this but at least I'm not crashing into anyone!" Towards the end of his failing at tap dancing gracefully while moving quite fast, some robot branded with the Walmart colors and logo confronted him with menacing red eyes. But Hamaduh's failing at tap dancing successfully causes the destruction of the robot because the robot wouldn't let him fail gracefully. As a result, the robot got destroyed by Hamaduh's failures. Soon after that, the mage laughed before joining the others for a group prank and lunch.
*Mel* "257. Have a Michael Jackson song play over the intercom. Sing along as badly as possible." "Michael Jackson huh? Swiftdrawer shared some songs of the singer's and told myself and many others that they have some fondness for the music of him and a lot of respect for that man. I forgot I picked this one. Time to do it. I must teleport to do this before Madeline does her thing." The knight teleports to the room where the intercom person is, knocks em out with a forehead strike, and takes control over the intercom. After figuring out how to use the intercom, she plays Billie Jean and sings along badly with ease as she spent years learning the sword not singing. "BILLIE JEAN'S GOT MY LOVE. SHE'S JUST A GIRL AND I AM THE ONE. *a bunch of hard to understand vocals* ON THE FLOOR AND AROUND" She continued that until the person she knocked out woke up. She teleported away and watched as Madeline did her thing. And no one would ever know besides you know who that Mel was the one who sang that song so badly. She would observe all the other chaos going on including the new workers still looking frantically for the made up crap Dominic asked for them to find. When Hamaduh destroyed that robot, she was there and went to meet the others shortly after he did.
*Grace* It turns out there was more for Grace to do on her list. Quite a bit more even. It all was just on the opposite side of the paper with her list printed on it. "46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom." "Hahaha, how interesting! I forgot about this one and the others as well! I'm going to message the others to tell them that I'm skipping the next group prank in order to do this one. I'm sure they'll understand. *she messages everyone in the shared group chat and wouldn't get an answer from anyone for several minutes* Madeline and Mel need the intercom for their wants before I can do this one. Since I know of no K-Mart commercials or their slogan, I will just have to make something up! I've been told enough about Swiftdrawer's world to do this well! Haha!" As the others come together to start the next group prank, they see her message and send a response confirming it's fine back before Grace is told by Pirate Blaster that Thrashbeak is gonna do some more of the ways to get kicked out on his own as it turns out that the parrot's list was longer than anyone bothered paying attention to. And Thrashbeak actually wanted to do a lot of them. He clearly told the others when they met up. So, Grace teleported straight to the intercom room and used her Dancing Arrow ability discreetly to make that intercom guy fall asleep. Once they were asleep, Grace then began to get the intercom to play some calming music and speak into the mic attached to the system while watching her friends do a group activity of absurdity as Thrashbeak caused more trouble through the security cameras. "We hope you enjoyed the prior music. Now it's time for a commercial break sponsored by K-Mart. Are you looking for the hottest deals on furniture around? Come to K-Mart, we are offering a 75% discount on all furniture items for a limited time. *pause* Looking for the latest footwear to make sure your feet stay comfortable and happy? Come to K-Mart, we just restocked our shelves with your favorite brands of sneakers and more! Hurry, they won't be here long! *pause* Don't you have just feeling tired and exhausted? At K-Mart, you can try out our brand new test beds. You can try any of our beds and see which one is the best for you. Shop now!"
She does another pause before continuing: "K-Mart only has one mission. To serve as many guests like you as possible with the best stuff at the lowest prices. Be sure to stop by all of our locations as they are all having up to 90% off on all items because we're going to close all our locations soon due to unfavorable conditions in the market! *pause* Bang bang! That's right! K-Mart now has guns for limited time! Come here or be yellow!" She continued on doing that until she saw the others start to part ways to eat lunch. As a result, she teleports away to eat lunch too in another world and read the next item on her list. And she also learns that Pirate Blaster was just pulling her leg. She lightly laughs and doesn't get mad before getting ready to do her next thing.
*Scar Basiltomato* Scar literally took a nap for a few minutes on a random bench in the store. Passerbys kept whispering about smelling pizza but couldn't pinpoint where the smell was coming from as the pizza person was disguised perfectly as a human being. They then woke up in time to join nearly all of the others in one hell of a group prank. "148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel." "Here we go! I'm going to make the floor smell good and hope that I don't get stuck to it! My crust will be fine! It won't get moldy, I know this for a fact!" They then met up with the others. "Arrr! Is everyone ready now that I've told my latest of random jokes?" "I'm ready to make a ground angel." "As pointless as this feels, I shall very much enjoy it." "Oh yeah, this is going to be awesome!" "Yeah! You said it, Austin!" "So it's settled then!" "Wait, I shall speak of a concern now. We must change our disguises. People around here are starting to catch on that we are behind all of the chaos in this store." "Damn! Arr! Cast that spell now to change our disguises." "I shall do it." "Arr! This is great!All of us were in a blank part of the cafeteria which is the only area not in chaos. It's floors had literally just been cleaned so it was perfect even though there were a lot of people taking shelter from the chaos throughout the rest of the store just sitting down on the sky tables. I watched in amazement as I did my ground angel and Scar's did theirs so well that I just had to watch. We all just laid there for a while, making ground angels by moving our hands like you would to create a snow angel. We got some strange looks but no one really cared. There was simply too much going on for anyone to want to interfere with what we were doing. We just kept doing it until we felt like stopping. Security was too occupied with other things to care about what we were doing. Once we stopped, no one paid us much mind as our faces were disguised to look very different from what they looked like earlier. We then split up to eat lunch elsewhere and returned to Walmart to cause more chaos. I ate at Twisted Land's Loco Bueno. To be continued.
