Apologies for the long wait between updates. Yes, yes I am still writing this story. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to publish the next chapter for three months. The good news is new chapter is here and there's another one already mostly written and on the way.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story. For those of you who think there is no ending in sight, I hate to burst your bubble, but there is. I know what it's going to be. I do think there is more for me to tell before that happens but no this story will not go on forever.

Thank you for sticking with me and I'd love to hear from you.

Simona

—-

Ponyboy moved to the Pediatric Ward the next morning.

The orderlies who came to bring him to the new ward almost moved him in his own hospital bed. This is what they did when the doctors recommended the patient not be moved around too much. At the last minute, it was decided that Pony could be rolled to the next location in a wheelchair. It wasn't his first time in one.

They unplugged the heart monitor and most of the tubes, and when Soda noticed Pony getting nervous that someone would judge him in his state (hair half gone and all), he gave him his DX cap to cover his head. The doctor said it was ok as long as the staples were covered. A nurse was kind enough to make that happen before they left.

Darry and Soda had helped pack up the room – garbage was tossed quickly and everything was stuffed into a backpack.

A few nurses on call who had taken care of Pony over the past couple of days had come to say goodbye to him. It was something they always did when a patient had recovered enough to be able to leave the intensive care unit, and it was always more special when it was a child on the mend.

When they arrived at the Pediatric Ward, Ron was there to greet them. Did this guy ever sleep? Darry wondered.

Then again, had any of them really slept? He remembered seeing Ron the day before, but come to think of it, it had been in the afternoon.

Ron told Pony that he was one lucky kid – usually the Pediatrics Ward filled up quickly and easily housed two to a room. So far, though, Pony didn't have a roommate and maybe wouldn't get one. (Ron's wink to Darry made him wonder if their doctor friend had magically pulled some strings.)

It was also because Pony had recovered from sepsis – the less bacteria from other hospital patients, the better.

The room was more private (although the halls were noisier) and the nurses came less, but by far the biggest change was the IV. Pony didn't have to wear a tube constantly. He still had the cannula in his arm and he would still receive antibiotics and medications every few hours like clockwork – and some now orally – but when the drip was over, a nurse would take the tube out of his arm and come back later.

He was free! Free at least to walk around the room, or go to the bathroom, or sit in a corner if he felt like it, without worrying that the tube would come loose.

He was free to walk the halls, too, although sadly that wasn't likely to happen so soon. Pony was still too tired and walking even a short distance wore him out. He knew he would need to catch his breath and rest – Darry watching him like a hawk while Two-Bit tried to ease the tension with a joke. Steve would make some smart-alecky comment, and then Soda would come and start fussing all over him. Not ok. He didn't need that right now. And he didn't need nausea or headaches that came with trying to walk either. Ron said that was normal, but it was annoying and he hoped it would pass soon. He needed to break this constant fog he was in and get out of the hospital soon. The stuffy air was starting to choke him.

A couple things happened after Pony was settled in his new room. Steve and Two-Bit came by, and Two-Bit got excited when he saw there was a tv in the room, Darry had to warn him he wasn't allowed to turn it on as the doctors were coming by soon on their morning rounds. A hospital orderly delivered breakfast on a tray and Soda sat cross-legged across from his little brother on the bed and helped him pick at some of the things off his plate, mostly consisting of rubbery scrambled eggs (Soda stuffed those into his mouth with his hand as Pony watched in disgust,) a couple of veggies, a small cup of cottage, and a bowl of oatmeal, which for Pony had no taste, but Soda made him eat anyway.

Next, Ron came back, followed by another doctor in blue scrubs that Pony didn't recognize. They basically talked to Darry, updating him on Pony's improvement and the times he would need the IV for his antibiotics – usually every 4-6 hours starting at 2pm and going on consistently throughout the day. They'd probably start to do it less once Pony improved even more.

Ron was also the one to tell the group that Pony had physical therapy that day with Claire, but this time he would be taken to the facilities on another floor. That would likely be happening once a day until he was released.

Darry was a bit worried about this as it would be happening while he and Soda were at work and who would be there to see him off but Ron assured him the orderlies knew what to do and where to go and Two-Bit agreed to stick around for the day to be his nanny.

Steve said it was more like a ball and chain and then surprisingly winked at the kid.

Pony felt a little better after that but not enough to get rid of the nagging tiredness that plagued him. He was disappointed to know his brothers wouldn't be around, but at least he wouldn't feel like he was bugging them.

Soda and Steve left first, Soda giving Pony a kiss on the head before making him promise not to hit on any nurses (and then making Two-Bit promise not to do the same!) Darry left about half-an-hour later warning Two-Bit not to go anywhere, and to make sure that Ponyboy got picked up for his physical therapy appointment.

Two-Bit pulled up a chair next to the bed, asking Pony how he was doing and Pony told him the truth – he had a terrific headache. Two-Bit's ramblin' didn't help matters.

"You know what's the best cure for a headache? A nice shot of whisky. Mix it with some apple juice and it's called a hot toddy. That's what my mama used to make me. Now she knows whisky don't do it for me no more," he quipped. "You know I brought you one the other day when you had a fever. Wait, no – Steve told me that wasn't a hot toddy. It was whisky and apple juice. Darry wouldn't let me give it to you."

"I wouldn't have been able to drink it," Pony replied, scrunching up his face in disgust.

"You sweat that fever out all on your own like a good little greaser," Two-Bit replied, watching as Pony rubbed his forehead above his good eye. "You want me to get the nurse?" he asked more seriously.

"No, I'm fine," Pony replied, but he didn't look fine.

"What's the matter, Pone? Should I get you something nice from the Tasty Freeze –" Two-Bit suggested, starting to get out of the chair.

Pony didn't want him to go. But he would never admit it. "Darry said you're not supposed to leave, Two-Bit," Pony scowled, crossing his arms in front of himself.

"Yeah, I know," Two-Bit replied, sitting back down. He was getting antsy but he knew he had to be there for the littlest Curtis. "Can I at least smoke in here?" he asked, pulling out a cigarette, but not actually serious.

"Uh, I don't think so," Pony eyed the cigarette skeptically. Ironically, part of him still wanted one and was a little jealous. Maybe THAT would calm his nerves.

"Tell you what," Two-Bit said, pulling up the collar of his leather jacket to serve as a windbreak. "I got some good jokes."

Pony immediately groaned.

""Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?"

"I don't know, why?"

"Because it was two-tired!" Two-Bit cackled and Ponyboy rolled his eyes.

""Why was the math book sad?"

"Why?" Pony grumbled.

"Because it had too many problems!"

Pony rolled his eyes again and then grinned in spite of himself. "Thanks for staying with me, Two-Bit," he said genuinely, knowing that the day would go a lot slower if nobody was there.

"Sure thing, kid. Where else would I be?"

"Chasin' blondes and throwin' beer bottles for fun," Pony teased.

"Is that all you think I do?" Two-Bit replied in mock surprise. "I am shocked, Ponyboy Curtis. Simply shocked."

Two-Bit pulled out a deck of cards and started to deal them like he was setting up a game of solitaire for two. He had meant for Pony to join in but then the nurse came in to hook up the IV and give him his medicine, which meant that Pony couldn't move around too much for the next 20 minutes or so because of the tube. He ended up falling asleep as the cold liquid snaked into his arm.

Later on in the afternoon, after lunch, an orderly came in with a wheelchair to take Pony down to the physical therapy facilities where Claire would be waiting for him. The nurse had previously told them he'd be down there for about an hour and Two-Bit waved goodbye to the kid after he eased himself gingerly into the wheelchair and was rolled out.

When Pony returned to the room, Two-Bit was, of course, nowhere to be found. The orderly helped Ponyboy back to his bed and then took the wheelchair and left. A nurse came in to give him a white pill with a cup of water and then left. He didn't ask any questions. But the kid didn't lay back down either. Instead, choosing to sit on the edge, the cold tile shocked his feet as he pulled them out of their slippers.

Although exhausted from the session, he was also a bit jittery, as it hadn't gone how he would have liked. Claire had tried to make him as comfortable as possible (while working with him on stretching and other exercises of course) but the room was freezing cold,, and for some reason, it made him think about what it had felt like under the snow.

Claire immediately noticed that something was off. "Are you ok?" she had asked when she saw the look of panic on Ponyboy's face.

Pony nodded, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm fine," he said, trying to reassure himself as well as his therapist, "It's cold in here," he continued, which prompted her to step away for a moment and figure out a way to crank the heat up.

"I'm just a little – on edge," Pony finished lamely when she returned. Claire nodded understandingly of course.

"It's completely normal to feel anxious in situations like these," she said, "But I'm here to help you get better."

Pony thought back to what had triggered his memories and he decided to go sit by the window to look out at the snow and see if it made him react like it had the day before. He was doing better anyway, so he wasn't as worried about moving on his own.

Eventually he dropped into a chair and just stared out the windowpane, watching the wind blow the flakes off the trees and trying to feel calm. He wasn't. He couldn't shake the feeling of fear that seemed to grip his chest whenever he thought about going outside.

He remembered the feeling of panic that got him in the truck when his stomach had given a violent start after realizing Darry had disappeared. He remembered leaping out of the car and keeling over in the snow as the contents poured out of his empty stomach. He remembered the biting and cold slush all around him as he fell, wondering if he would stay there forever. He remembered the flakes falling on top of him. He felt shaky. Anxious.

That's how Darry found him about 5 minutes later.

"Ponyboy! How are you kiddo?" he asked, his face lighting up as he walked to his brother, who was slumped in the chair. "What are you doing over here? How was physical therapy? I was hoping I'd get back in time to meet you," he looked at the bed and then back at his brother - feeling like an imposter because he was trying to act more cheerful than he felt.

"Why aren't you in bed? Where's Two-Bit?" Darry asked, looking around the room and trying not to appear annoyed.

"Uh, he'll be back in a few minutes," Ponyboy lied, even though he had no idea where Two-Bit was.

Poor kid looks lost, his older brother suddenly realized. The bruise around his left eye was really not a bruise anymore so much as it was a pink mark on his eyelid, but Darry could tell that Pony still couldn't really focus with that eye. He looks stressed, Darry thought. Pony gazed up, feeling disoriented, as Darry pulled up a chair and sat down real close like he wanted to keep an eye on him.

"You ok, little buddy?" Darry asked, putting a hand on the back of his neck and scanning his features to see what was wrong.

Little buddy. Red hot circles always flushed across Pony's cheeks every time Darry called him that, even if it had been more frequent since he had been sick.

Darry closed his hand around his little brother's wrist and Pony wondered if he was trying to provide some kind of comfort or just checking his pulse. Ponyboy looked up again at his big brother - the natural-born protector - Darry's face serious and determined.

A chill ran through him as he remembered the wind whistling in the trees as he tried to move through the snow to find his brother – his stomach turning and the iciness in the air making his bones ache.

Pony felt like air was caught in his throat – like he was trapped. Like there was a pile of snow on top of him and he couldn't get out. He dropped his head down, hiding his face.

"Hey…you ok?" Darry asked, leaning over and wrapping his arm around Pony's frame and pulling him close as Pony hung his head and shivered, leaning against Darry's chest. "Did something happen? What's wrong? You feel sick?"

Pony didn't have a fever, but his face felt hot, or like Darry had said something that unravelled him. His eyes began to water as tears threatened to fall. Darry's protective arm around him tightened as Pony's demeanor crumpled.

"I need help," he sniffed, his voice shaky, his body beginning to tremble with sobs. "Looking at the snow makes me remember —"he confessed, his voice cracking. "Since I fell when I left the truck to – "he left it out but Darry knew he meant - left the truck to find YOU.

"I want to go home, but the snow – it scares me," he said, choking on his words as they came tumbling out. He felt like he was rambling, "Makes me think I'll never get better," he said, eyes shiny. "I don't know why I can't get over it."

"I can't stay in the hospital forever," Pony garbled out, laughing at himself, embarrassed by his admission and breakdown, as his eyes welled up with unshed tears. "I don't want to."

For Pony, the snow was a reminder of feeling lost, but also how far he still had left to go, Darry realized.

"No, you won't stay in the hospital forever," Darry repeated, trying to act calmer, "And it's not gonna snow forever either, little buddy…" he started. "Snow isn't always a bad thing. Remember when you were a kid? You loved the snow."

Pony tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace. "It's not the same now," he paused, "You probably think I'm weak or something."

Darry rubbed his shoulder, but Pony noticed he had paled considerably. In a split second though, the scared look fell off his face and was instantly replaced with something more controlled. The Darry who took care of everything.

"Stop saying that," he said, "You're not weak. Kiddo, you're a lot stronger than you think. You fought through a serious illness, Christ almighty. And came out on the other side. So it's ok to feel a little scared about snow. The snow was dangerous. It was a bad situation," Darry continued. "I would have done anything not to leave you alone…" His look was almost desperate, pleading, like he wanted Pony to believe him

"I know," Pony replied, "It's not your fault," he answered, feeling ashamed. He was afraid that Darry would think he was being silly. "I don't blame you. I was just – scared…" his voice barely above a whisper.

"I know, kiddo," Darry said, hand on his back and rubbing comforting circles. "Try not to think about what happened then. Focus on now. The doctors say you're getting better and that's what's important. Hey, they moved you out of intensive care, right?" he paused, "You're not alone in this, Pone. Soda and I, we're with you. You've been through a lot, but you're gonna get through this."

Darry didn't know what else to say but he knew he had to make Pony feel better. Feel safe. He hugged him close, stroked his hair, and gently rubbed his arm.

"I wasn't there then but…I'm here now, little buddy," Darry said, "I'm here now."

Darry reached for him, pulling him into his arms and Pony let him, burying his face into his brother's shoulder as one hand grabbed him carefully around the neck and the other rubbed his back.

"Easy, Pone," he murmured into his hair, "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," he continued rubbing his back. "I'm right here," he repeated over and over again until Pony finally felt a little better. They sat like that for a while.

Pony eventually pulled away, his eyes pink. Darry was actually worried that being stressed and getting upset would make his fever go up again, but he was relieved that Pony had let it out. Things felt a little awkward and Darry tried to lighten the mood.

"Hey," he said, squeezing Pony's shoulder, "Soon you'll be throwing snowballs at me, Sodapop, Steve, and Two-Bit – where is that bozo?" Darry asked, looking around again.

Pony didn't feel like a fighter. He felt like a sick and helpless kid who wanted to go home.

"Hey, look at me," Darry said and Pony turned his face toward his brother. "I'm never gonna let anything happen to you, you hear me?"

"Yeah," Pony said.

"Yeah what?"

"Yeah, I hear you," Pony replied timidly. And he smiled.

It was usually Soda that got him to talk, but this time, Darry was the one he wanted to come clean to. And it made him feel a lot better.

"I promise," Darry insisted.

Darry helped Pony back into bed and feeling depleted, he fell asleep almost instantly. He was, after all, exhausted from the physical therapy session and laying it all out there to Darry. After he had tucked him in and saw he was breathing lightly, Darry couldn't help but stare at those staples. He wondered how long it would be before they could come out. Another way Pony could ease himself back to normal.

Suddenly the door cracked open and Two-Bit moseyed in like he hadn't been gone at all. Crazily enough he was followed by Sodapop. Two-Bit jumped when he saw Darry.

Darry looked at his friend and his eyes blazed as he strode purposely toward him and pushed him forcefully out of the room. He didn't want to shout, especially not in the hospital. Two-Bit's eyes were wide. They were in the hallway then and fortunately it was empty.

"Where the hell have you been?" Darry asked, his voice menacing, "I thought I told you not to go anywhere!"

"I - " Two-Bit stammered, not able to get a word out for once in his life. His face was white as a ghost as Darry loomed over him menacingly, fingers pressing on his chest like he wanted to push him down.

"Darry!" Soda shouted, getting in between them. "Don't yell at him, it's my fault."

Darry turned and gave his brother a stern look, wondering what stupid thing his brother had done now. Two-Bit looked at the middle Curtis, suddenly coming back to himself, "Soda, I told you this wasn't a good idea,," He suddenly looked madder than heck, and it took a lot for Two-Bit to get mad. He wasn't as mad as Darry though.

"Whaddya mean Soda's idea?" Darry looked between the two of them. He turned to his brother, "Someone should have been here." Soda gaped at him, not knowing what to say, "What are you doing here anyway, Sodapop? You got work. You're not off for another hour! What have I told you about skipping out?"

"I didn't skip out," Soda said, frowning, "My boss was there today. He knows our situation now and let me go early. Felt bad. Steve's still there. I didn't want to borrow his car so I called the hospital and got Two-Bit on the phone –"

"Some nurse came and got me, told me there was a call for me at the nurse's station," Two-Bit explained, "It was while Ponyboy was at physical therapy. I figured I had enough time to pick up Soda and get back here to meet baby Curtis."

Darry understood why he would think that – Two-Bit liked to break every speed limit on the road when he could. But that didn't make it right. And the roads were still terrible.

"Well you didn't get back in time, did ya?" Darry sputtered, "I came back here and Pony was sitting all alone by the window looking upset!"

Soda stopped and gaped at him. "Upset? What, is he ok?"

"No, he's not ok," Darry replied, suddenly a little calmer and more worried, "He spilled. Fessed up about how he felt when he woke up in the truck and I wasn't there. Says the snow scares him now and he's afraid to go outside," he explained, madder at himself than anyone else. "He's still in bad shape and I'm sure thinking about this ain't helpin' any. Like I said before…we can't leave him alone," he reiterated, "Even if he says he's ok. We shouldn't leave him alone until he's over this. You dig?" He asked, looking hard at Two-Bit.

"Yea, I dig," Two-Bit nodded, "Guess I made a big mistake," he said, looking sorry.

Darry sighed. He didn't want to make Two-Bit feel bad, he just wanted what was best for Pony.

"You gotta start wearing a watch, Two-Bit," he joked.

"You offerin' to buy me a nice Rolex?"

Soda wasn't paying attention to them. He started walking towards the door. Darry grabbed his shoulder.

"Let him sleep, Soda. He's tired."

"Darry!" Soda interrupted, looking at him, "Is he ok? I mean, really – is he ok?"

"He's fine now," Darry insisted, "He calmed down," Darry rubbed the stubble starting to grow again on his chin, "He's getting better. Movin' better on his own. Just needs to rest and stay calm."

"How did it happen?" Soda asked, wanting more details.

"I sat next to him by the window and he just – I don't know — he just broke down. He was shaky and nervous and I noticed and I thought he was sick, but he just – kinda had a meltdown," Darry

Said.

"Kid's always had more feelings than the rest of us," Two-Bit said, chewing on his lip.

"It's not just that," Darry answered, "He's not himself. He's nervous. Moody. Depressed maybe? Tensed up all the time."

"If you had to go through everything he went through…wouldn't you be?" Soda defended.

"Yeah – no I mean I get it. It's just – Ron told me it could be the illness doing that to him. And his brain, too. He had brain surgery, for Pete's sake," Darry replied.

"Maybe it's both," Two-Bit responded. Suddenly, something passed over his face.

"We should take him out!" he exclaimed. "

"Out?"

"Yea, you know, like out in the snow. Show him how fun it is. Show him what he's missing,"

"Two-Bit," Darry replied, looking peeved, "Is this another one of your hair-brained ideas?"

"It's genius." Two-Bit smiled.

Before Pony had even opened his eyes, he was aware of the searing pain in his skull. It pulsed and throbbed when he turned from his back to his right side, the pain only got worse. He groaned loudly.

He had this headache all day but now it felt worse.

"Darry?" Pony called out, his eyes barely open.

"Yeah, Pone," he heard a chair scrape against the floor and felt a shadow pass over him. Pony tried to open his eyes further but then squeezed them shut, trying to block out the bright lights. He threw his left arm over his forehead and eyes. Luckily, he didn't have an IV tube in his arm.

"My head –" he croaked, his breathing labored and his muscles tense. He wanted to whimper like a kicked puppy.

He felt a hand on his hair. "How bad is it?" Darry asked, concern evident in his voice.

"My head is going to explode," Pony answered, his voice strained and even a little high-pitched, as his mouth formed a tight line, "I can't take it anymore, " Pony groaned, his head feeling like it was being split open. He clutched at his temples, trying to find some relief from the excruciating pain. "I need something for this headache. Please, Darry. I can't take it anymore."

Reviews please!