As always, a big thank you to my wonderful beta, Ambush99.
Chapter 16
James Potter kicked the wall with frustration. "I swear if that old goat mentions that bloody grim and how it's the death omen one more time, I'll-"
"Do what, Prongs?" Remus challenged.
"I don't know," James replied angrily.
"You used to laugh about it. Don't tell me you're taking Professor Wilson's classes seriously now," Remus replied with a slight smile.
"It's different now!" James snapped. "Because she said someone close to me would die. And, and the bloody grim looks like him!"
"Like who?" Remus pressed, already knowing the answer.
"Padfoot!"
"Yes, but we always used to laugh about it. It's Divination! Come on Prongs, grims don't exist."
"I note you didn't correct me about Padfoot dying. Because I know, you know, he knows and the healers know, he's dying, and they are doing fuck all about it. Why aren't the healers and teachers helping him?! It's like they are happy to let him die! He escaped hell, he's fighting like hell, but they are doing nothing!"
"James, he'll be alright."
"Do you know that, Moony? Do you really believe that? You've seen him. You've seen how much just getting through a class takes out of him. We need to do more than we are doing!"
"What can we do, James? If they do anything else, they need to involve his parents and he's never going to agree to that."
"No," James said, shaking his head. "I won't let him agree to that. So, what you're basically saying is, he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. Whatever he decides will result in him dying, he's just choosing how. How is that right, Moony? It's bloody wrong and unfair!"
Lily slowly approached the two brooding figures, only managing to catch certain words such as 'dying' and 'unfair'. She didn't much care for Black, but she didn't hate the boy. She didn't want to see him suffer, and she knew Potter was the person best placed to help him. "Potter," she said quietly.
James swung around to come face to face with the girl of his dreams. "Oh, hi Evans," he said nervously.
"What's wrong with Black?"
"Sirius? He's fine."
"Really?" Lily replied with a raised eyebrow. "That's why he looked like death warmed up and was sent out of our Ancient Runes class."
"What?" James exclaimed.
"You heard me, Potter. What's wrong with Black?"
"When did he leave the class?" James demanded.
"I don't know. About twenty minutes ago."
"Shit," James swore, as he started towards the Ancient Runes classroom.
"James," Remus called out. "Lily would have seen him on her way here. Let's check the dorm."
James didn't say a word, he just pushed past them and sprinted towards the dorms, not caring if the other two were following. All he cared about was his best friend, his brother. He should have never left him alone. He should have somehow made it into Sirius' Ancient Runes class or dragged him to his Divination class, or just forced him to stay in the dorm and rest. But no, he hadn't. He had gone and abandoned his brother again.
Lily struggled to keep up with the boys' longer strides. Black had looked ill, but she was beginning to think she was just scratching the surface. She just made it around the corner to see Potter dive through the barely opened portrait hole. "Remus," she called out breathlessly, but she got no response. What the hell was wrong with Black? She had never seen Potter move with such urgency. If the boys were this worried about him, why wasn't he in the hospital wing, or St. Mungo's?
"It's his," James declared, holding up a red and gold book bag.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, it's my old one. I gave it to him after he got back. After they left him with fucking nothing!" James spat.
"He took it with him when he left Ancient Runes," Lily said, slightly out of breath, as she joined the conversation for the first time, wondering what James meant by 'got back' and 'they left him with nothing'.
"That's good, James, it means he got back here. If someone attacked him, they wouldn't take the time to drop his book bag off, would they?"
James slowly nodded, as he considered the information, before he slung the bag over his shoulder and raced towards the staircase. He just hoped against hope Sirius had made it to the dorm, and the dropped bag wasn't some sick move by a family member. He hoped they hadn't got to him, because he knew Sirius wouldn't be able to defend himself. He knew Sirius wouldn't last long. As he rounded the final corner he sighed with relief. Sirius was slumped on his bed, as though he had just made it before passing out, his legs hanging haphazardly off the end. "Sirius," he said quietly, crouching down next to the other boy. He waited a moment before he gently laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Sirius."
He felt as though he was swimming through fog. Then he felt pain followed by ice cold. He groaned. "James?" Sirius muttered in a quiet, pain-filled voice.
"Hey Padfoot," James said quietly, as he crouched down next to his best friend. "How are you?"
"Dunno. Okay, I guess. Am I in the dorm?" Sirius asked hesitantly.
"Yeah mate, you're here. Do you need anything?"
Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, before shaking his head. There were a thousand things he wanted but he couldn't ask James to do any more than he already was. "No," he finally said. "I'm just tired, that's all."
"Tough class?" James asked, as he helped Sirius into bed.
"Something like that," Sirius replied tiredly.
Lily staggered into the boy's dorm, trying to pull in lungfuls of air as she did. An arm flung out, stopping her from going any further. "Remus?"
"Wait, Lily, they need their space."
"What?" Lily questioned. She looked up and watched the scene in front of her unfold. The James Potter she knew was wild and brash, but the one in front of her was a different person. She watched as he carefully lifted Sirius' legs onto the bed before pulling the blankets over him and crouching down next to him. Sirius looked far paler than he had in class, he barely seemed to be breathing. "I'm going to get Madam Pomfrey," she declared.
"No," Remus said in a whisper, as he grabbed her arm gently but firmly. "Give James a moment."
"He's not a healer, Remus!" Lily bit back.
"I know, but Sirius has looked worse. Lily, look it's complicated, okay."
"What's wrong with him?"
"They don't know."
"What?! Then surely, he should be in St Mungo's or something!"
"He can't, it wouldn't be safe for him there."
"He wouldn't be safe!" Lily baulked. "But he's clearly too ill to be going to classes. He needs to be in the hospital wing."
"It's complicated, okay. Sirius wants to try and get on with his life whilst he still can."
"What are you saying?" Lily exclaimed. She watched Remus' still, pale face, and felt bile rise in her throat. "He's dying?"
"Lily, I've already said too much."
"How?"
"I, I shouldn't have told you what I've said-"
"No, how is he dying?"
"I, I don't know. No one does."
"This has something to do with why he was late back for the beginning of term and why he disappeared for a week, doesn't it?"
"Lily, I can't say. It's not my place. If Sirius wants to tell you, that's fine, but I won't."
Lily looked across the room, at James who was now sitting on Sirius' bed with his arms wrapped protectively around him. He seemed to be whispering to the other boy. She watched as he looked up and nodded before returning his attention to his friend.
"Hey Padfoot, you've had a bit of a rough day, haven't you," Remus said to the unresponsive figure. "How is he?"
"He says he's just tired but, well you know Padfoot," James said quietly.
"I really think we should get Madam Pomfrey," Lily started.
"No," James said, shaking his head. "Sirius doesn't want to."
"I think this has gone past what Sirius wants," Lily started.
"No Evans, it has everything to do with what Sirius wants," James bit back sharply. "He hasn't had a lot of choice recently and I'm not about to join the long list of people who forced their decisions on him!"
"James…"
"No Moony, how many people have helped him? How many people care what he wants? I know, and I don't need a full hand to count them!" James growled.
"I just think, well we have Transfiguration in five minutes," Lily said trailing off.
"I'm not going," James declared.
"But, Potter, McGonagall will give you detention and you'll miss Quidditch," Lily said.
"I don't care. Evans, there are things in life that are far more important than OWLs, detentions and Quidditch. This is my brother you're talking about! I can't leave him, well,
just in case, I just can't leave him," James said quietly, his eyes brimming with tears, as he rested his head on Sirius'.
"James?"
"Moony, can you explain to McGonagall why I'm not there. I know she will give me a detention, but can you try and make sure it's on an evening when you don't have prefect duties and Pete doesn't have extra Potions."
"Sure," Remus said quietly. "Shall I take your mirror?"
"Yeah, we've got Sirius'," James said, nodding.
"Call if you need anything," Remus said as he stood to leave. He patted Sirius' shoulder.
"See you later, mate. Let me know if you need anything. Come on Lily, let's go. We have Transfiguration."
Lilly frowned as she reluctantly followed Remus out of the room, her mind full of questions. "Remus, I don't think this is a good idea. I don't think Potter knows what is best for Black."
"Maybe not but find me an adult who has a better idea and then we can talk," Remus replied in a tight voice as they made their way through the common room.
"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place, I'm just saying…"
"What Lily, what are you saying?"
"I don't know," Lily started.
"If Sirius dies, and that's a real possibility, he doesn't want his final days to be spent cooped up in that hospital wing, a place he hates. After what he has been through, he deserves to be surrounded by people who love him," Remus managed in an increasingly tight voice, as tears threatened at any moment. "I know you don't think much of him. And I know he's a bit of a dick when it comes to your friend Severus, but he's one of the best friends I've ever had."
"Remus," Lily started. "Look I know, umm, is that because, I-" She stopped. It wasn't the right time, but when was?
"What Lily?" Remus replied, his piercing green eyes boring into her.
"It's just well, I, Severus said Black tried to kill him."
Remus shook his head. "Sirius made a stupid mistake but Severus already had most of the facts. If Sirius told Severus to jump off the astronomy tower, would he?" he challenged, not caring if his tone was harsh anymore.
"No, of course he wouldn't."
"There you are. Severus is friends with cruel, evil people. Sirius has distanced himself from his family because they share the same values as Severus's friends. James and Sirius may not be perfect, but don't pretend for one second Severus is, because he's not!" Remus spat. He took a moment and turned away. He rubbed his face. "Lily, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"No, you're right. Sev was the one who introduced me to magic. He was the one who told me I was a witch. Life was innocent then but now-"
"People are choosing sides," Remus finished. "At some point Lily, you've got to choose. I've chosen, James has, I'm pretty sure Severus has and Sirius, well he's paying the price for choosing."
"Life is-"
"Life is crap and unfair sometimes, that's why you need your friends."
Lily nodded. "Shall we go to Transfiguration?" she said, not knowing what else to say.
"Sure. Lily, I'm so sorry for how I spoke to you," Remus apologised again.
"Remus, I am struggling to understand what's happening," Lily admitted, as she hurried down the corridors.
"Join the club," Remus replied, as he stared down the corridor, avoiding eye contact with anyone.
"But if Sirius is that ill, why are the teachers telling him he has to go to lessons? I don't think Professor Collins knew Sirius was ill. He gave Sirius a detention. He's a fair Professor."
"I don't know," Remus replied bitterly. "I'm sure they have their reasons."
"What are you going to say to Professor McGonagall?"
Remus shrugged. "I don't know, I guess the truth," he said as he walked into the classroom and headed straight towards McGonagall.
"Professor," Remus started politely. "Err, Sirius is resting and-"
"Mr Potter is with him?" McGonagall replied, finishing Remus' sentence.
"Yes," Remus replied quietly.
McGonagall nodded and looked away briefly. It pained her knowing what one of her young lions was going through and there was nothing she could do about it. Dumbledore had instructed her to let Sirius get on with his life, that Sirius needed to get on with his lessons. She questioned it, but what did she know? Dumbledore had far more experience than she did.
"That's okay. Will you take notes for them?" she finally asked.
"Of course."
"Take notes and if either of them has any questions, let me know."
"Thank you Professor."
Lily watched as Remus approached Professor McGonagall to have a few words before turning and coming to sit next to her. "What did she say?"
"Nothing much, just to take notes for Sirius and James," Remus replied.
Lily looked up at Professor McGonagall, surprised to see her showing a rare sign of emotion. "Maybe you should tell Professor McGonagall."
"She already knows," Remus replied quietly. "Look Lily, I'm really sorry but I can't deal with this right now." Without a further word, he buried himself into his work.
Ooo
"Simon, I need to have a word," Professor McGonagall called out as she strode down the corridor.
"Yes Minerva," Professor Collins replied, as he stopped and turned to face his fellow Gryffindor and colleague.
"I need to talk to you about Mr Black."
"Which one? Regulus is smart but he doesn't have half the talent his older brother has."
"I need to speak to you about Sirius. I have been informed you gave him a detention this afternoon."
"Yes, I did. You know what he's like. The boy is a genius, he's probably the best student I have ever taught, but he gets bored and messes around. I know it's partly my fault but it's difficult to set a class satisfying all abilities when you have someone like Sirius, and then others of less ability who I am surprised know which way to hold a wand."
"I know he messes around, both him and Potter drive me up the wall at times, but it's not Sirius' fault this time. He's trying his hardest, but that's all he's got to give."
"Minerva?"
"He's been poisoned," McGonagall managed in a tight voice.
"What?! Then why is he here? Why isn't he in St Mungo's being treated?!" Professor Collins exclaimed.
"They haven't been able to identify the poison," McGonagall started.
"You still haven't answered my question. Why is he here instead of St Mungo's, unless, unless not only do you not know what poisoned the lad, but you don't know who the perpetrator is?!" Professor Collins replied tensely. He watched his colleague and friend nod.
"And might it not be pertinent to inform the staff?! I'm not the only one who's given the boy a detention, and for something I now know wasn't remotely his fault!"
"Mr Black has the right to privacy."
"Of course he does, and the teaching body doesn't need to know the full details, just that he's ill and will probably struggle in classes. Then we can make allowances for him."
"Dumbledore-"
"Sod Dumbledore. Minerva, this is a sixteen year old boy's life we are talking about, and Dumbledore doesn't always know what is best. That's why he's been falling asleep in lessons and his marks have been slipping. How far does he have to go to prove he's not like his family? What does he have to do to prove the sorting hat was correct!?"
"Simon…"
"No, it's not right. Yes, sometimes he's a troublemaker but he's not a bad lad. He probably just wants to get on with his life like any other sixteen year old kid, but someone wants to curtail that, and we are only assisting them," Professor Collins snapped. "Do you honestly have no idea who poisoned him?"
"No," McGonagall said, shaking her head. "We have an idea who hurt him, but that's confidential."
"He's hurt as well?! He can't catch a break, can he? Someone really wants him dead, don't they?!"
"So, you think I should go against Dumbledore's word and brief the staff?"
"Yes. I gave that poor lad hell in one of my lessons and a detention, for something he couldn't help," Professor Collins replied as he turned and started towards his office. He stopped and rubbed his beard for a moment. "Look Minerva, I'm sorry for snapping at you, but Hogwarts should be a safe place and it doesn't seem like we've made it safe for him."
"I know."
"It's nothing personal Minerva, and I know you are new to the position. I know it's easy for me to simply say stand up to Dumbledore, but for Sirius' sake you need to. If you don't, who will?"
McGonagall nodded. She had taken over the deputy head position a few months previously. "I'll see you at supper."
