At the end of the (school) day, Bella decided to go to the staff room for the first time. She saw a shadowy, batlike somebody sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire, reading the Daily Prophet. The person looked up as she approached.

"Well, well, Miss…Bella," said Snape. He lowered the newspaper.

"Severus," she said calmly.

"Well, how was your first day teaching?" said the Potions teacher. He was just the tiny bit jealous of Bella; he'd been after the job for years and years.

"It was perfectly great," said Bella. Did he suspect anything? Of course he did. He was a professional spy. Why would he not? She shook herself - he'd just said something and she hadn't heard half of the sentence.

"-expect that Weasley, Potter and Longbottom, not to mention Granger were their usual insufferable, bratty selves-"

"Not at all," she cut across him smoothly.

Snape stared at her with his cold, calculating black eyes. "It's been one day."

"I assure you, Snape," she said coldly, "All the students were perfectly all right."

He changed the subject abruptly. "You know, you remind me of someone I know."

"Really?" asked Bella, feeling nervous.

"She was at school with us, around five years ahead," said Snape, and Bella relaxed. It couldn't possibly be her, because she was nine years older than Snape.

"Who? I might know her."

"Andromeda…Tonks," said Snape.

"What?" she said, shocked.

"You look a lot like her, too," said Snape suspiciously. And then she realized that he realized that she could have been Bellatrix Lestrange, but couldn't tell anybody, because that would mean admitting he'd known her - which might lead to suspicion about him being a Death Eater. And then she relaxed. Of course! It was Severus Snape, fellow Death Eater, who worked at Hogwarts. Of course the Dark Lord might have told him that she'd be arriving at Hogwarts.

"Muffliato," she whispered (to the rest of the room at large).

"So, Bella," sneered Snape. "You've not been doing a very good job so far with creating a false identity. Your plan is advancing too quickly. If you wish to gain everyone's trust, you must proceed slowly."

"Really? And you know that how, exactly?" retorted Balla.

"I have heard…rumors…that several students are attempting to, in fact, investigate your behavior. It is out of character for any kind of teacher, even the likes of the werewolf Lupin," he said slowly.

"What do they suspect?" she asked.

"Several students are simply curious about your teaching methods. However, some of them suspect you to be Bellatrix Lestrange."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because they noticed your resemblance to…yourself and also some details that you mentioned in class, which you did most unwisely, in my opinion -"

"This is my job. Let me handle it," she cut across him. "But…" she grinned. "I will require some assistance from you."

"Oh?"

"Tell me, how good are you with Confusing Concoctions?"

Once Bella got back to her quarters, she pulled out the mirror again. "The Dark Lord!"

"Hello, Bella," came Voldemort's voice from the mirror.

"My Lord, there have been some complications with the mission."

"Complications?" asked the Dark Lord silkily.

"The students are beginning to suspect my identity far too early. I do not think that the personality was enough cover, and the students are far too trusting. They did not suspect that I might be lying when I told them the truth about certain small details, through which they have managed to piece together part of the puzzle," she explained, slightly scared. She did NOT want to be on the end of the Dark Lord's Cruciatus curse after her mission was somehow over.

"And?"

"Severus and I have put together a plan to wipe the students' and teachers' memories of the name and appearance of Bella White involving Confusing Concoctions in everyone's pumpkin juice and a large, specified Obliviate spell across the ceiling of every room in Hogwarts. Owls will not have had time to reach parents or siblings yet, and all owls with the words Bella White in them will be 'lost in the post'. It is risky and has multiple layers, but that is all the better to prevent anyone from discovering our plan. So I will need a new name and look."

"That sounds fine, but I warn you, if this plan fails…" said Voldemort ominously.

"Yes, my Lord," said Bellatrix nervously.

"This time, I suggest a completely random name with no possible connections to the Blacks or Lestranges."

"My Lord, what about…Holly Rebus?"

The Dark Lord smirked. "Perfect. I expect no mistakes this time, do you understand?"

"Yes, my Lord!" she said quickly.

A while later, there was another conversation taking place - on a similar topic. Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting by the fire in the empty Gryffindor Common room again at nearly midnight.

"12, Grimmauld Place!" said Harry into the fire, which had burned emerald green upon him adding Floo powder. Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table alone with a radio with something that sounded suspiciously like opera playing on it.

"Hi, Harry!" said Sirius Black, hastily switching off the radio.

"Hi, Sirius! How are you?" asked Harry.

"Lonely," said Sirius sadly. "Remus is off on another mission, and everyone else always seems to be as well."

"Well, we've got something that'll cheer you up!" said Ron, grinning.

"What?" said Sirius gloomily.

"Well…" said Hermione. "Umbridge is gone!"

"Really?" he said. "So now we don't have to code everything all the time in our letters. God, that was so frustrating!"

"And…" said Hermione, blushing.

"And?" prompted Sirius.

"We may or may not have had something to do with her removal," she finished.

Sirius roared with laughter. "And let me guess, you did most of it."

"Yes," said Hermione slowly.

"But that's not all," interjected Ron.

"Oh?" said Sirius.

"Yeah," said Harry. "We think your cousin is teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts. We think she's the new teacher."

"Which one?" grinned Sirius. "Molly Weasley?"

"What - no!" said Ron. "Of course not! No, we mean the crazy one with the birdnest beehive."

"Oh, sweet old Bella," said Sirius. "Wait. WHAT?"

"Yeah," said Harry grimly.

"No, you're joking. You are joking, aren't you? You're not serious?" asked Sirius.

"No, that's you," said Harry.

"Oh, you're just like James!" said Sirius. "Seriou-" he stopped himself.

Harry, Ron and Hermione all roared with laughter. Hermione was the first to recover. "No, we are being serious. Her name's Bella White-"

"Of course!" said Sirius. "Bella's what we all used to call her when we were younger and White's the opposite of Black."

The three looked at each other.

"I never really thought about it like that," admitted Ron.

"Okay, before we make any conclusions, do you have any more evidence?" said Sirius.

"Well, there's little things…" said Harry.

"Like what?"

"Well," said Hermione, "She looks really similar to Bellatrix Lestrange, except she wears her hair in a ponytail. She's from Wiltshire, comes from a strict family, has two sisters, is a Slytherin, and called Draco Malfoy Drakeykins." She snorted at the last bit.

"How do you know all of this about her?" Sirius asked, amazed.

"Draco Malfoy," said Ron, matter-of-factly.

"How?" said Sirius, shaking his head disbelievingly.

"Well, let's just say that we formed an…alliance," said Hermione.

"Does he know about me?" asked Sirius urgently.

"Yeah," said Harry, which caused Sirius's eyebrows to shoot up. "But it's okay," he said hastily. "He figured it out himself, but his parents don't know yet."

"Anyway," said Sirius, "What's Professor White's teaching like? Is she teaching you all the Cruciatus curse and then practicing it on you?"

"What? No!" said Hermione. "She's actually…a good teacher. She's really nice to everyone and has a good sense of humor. She even gave Fred and George points for pranks!" She went on to describe the lesson they'd had that day about Voldemort's baby pictures.

"What?" said Sirius. "No way! That doesn't sound like the Bellatrix I remember at all! She's obsessed with Voldemort!"

"Yeah, but then she's a bit mad," said Ron.

"Oh?" said Sirius.

"Yeah, she believes in the Crumple-Horned Snorcack," said Hermione. "Which plainly doesn't exist."

"Yes, they do! Haven't you read the Quibbler?" joked Sirius.

"No, they don't!" said Hermione vehemently, missing the sarcasm.

"And I'm secretly Stubby Boardman! Didn't you know? CAN YOU DANCE THE HIPPOGRIFF? MAMAMA MAMAMA MAMAMA! FLYING OFF FROM-" he started screaming.

"Sirius! Someone'll hear you!" said Harry, laughing.

"Well, not someone on this end anyway," he said, regaining his composure, "I'll look into it, and talk to Dumbledore, but without any proof, it's a possible coincidence."

"But-" protested Harry.

"Look, Harry," said Sirius. "If anyone knows about being falsely accused without sufficient evidence…"

"Oh!" said Harry, putting his hand over his mouth. "I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry! I didn't think of that."

"But I will talk to Dumbledore," said Sirius.

"Thanks," said Ron gratefully.

"Anytime," said Sirius. They heard the doorbell ring in the background, and Sirius's mother's portrait started to scream. "Oh, no. They keep forgetting…Harry, I'll send you a letter soon, but I've really got to go now."

"Of course," said Harry. "See you, Sirius." And as they ended the Floo call, they could hear Tonks say amusedly, "Cuz, I didn't know you were a part of the Weird Sisters! When'd you sign up?".

The next morning at breakfast, Severus was - in a rare occurrence - astonished. Bella's plan was going smoothly as planned with no hitches. As unlikely as it had seemed to succeed, it somehow had. If there was one thing that Severus knew about Bellatrix, it was that she was deeply loyal to the Dark Lord and always worked extra-hard at every mission. If he hadn't known she was Slytherin, he would've thought she was a Hufflepuff. He had heard that she'd been a hatstall though - did the Sorting Hat think the same way he did?

The previous night, he and Bellatrix had snuck down to the school kitchens and stirred the Confusing Concoctions into the school's stock of pumpkin juice, and, for good measure, sprinkled it all over the breakfast food. Then, Bellatrix had wandered all over Hogwarts, even up to the Divination classroom (though Severus thought it was a waste; he didn't think Sybill Trelawney even knew the name of the new DADA teacher), casting specified Obliviate spells on the ceilings of every room and corridor.

No one was talking about Bella White anymore, no, they were all talking about Holly Rebus, the wonderfully eccentric Defense teacher. Even Potter, Granger, Lovegood, Longbottom, Malfoy, Weasley, Weasley, Weasley and Weasley. Gosh, he was having trouble keeping track of them all.

A/N: Hey guys, it's Moony. It's been a while, but we're now updating our stories roughly every other week (so an update a week, 'cause we've got two long-fics in progress). But hopefully since I've got some more free time, I'll be able to write more and update more frequently.

If you've got some ideas for insults to Voldemort, please send us a PM or put it in a review, 'cause me and Bella aren't that great at coming up with insults (we tried) - we need Padfoot and Prongs for that kind of thing. Feedback is always welcome. Thanks =D