Chapter 9: The Night

Itachi's birthday came and went while he was on a mission, and suddenly he was thirteen years old. I hadn't been sure of what to get him for this birthday. This was the last gift I would ever give him, so I wanted it to mean something. Due to the tension between him and the rest of our family, Itachi didn't have a party when he finally returned two weeks later looking empty and tired. He'd come in during the night, and at dawn he was preparing to head out again. I gave him his present as he was putting on his shoes, moving slowly and deliberately like an old man. The gift was a necklace with three tomoe spaced evenly along the chain. I had written Itachi, Sasuke, and Kiyo on each of the tomoe with Mikoto's help so that the names could only be seen by someone with a Sharingan.

"It's so we're always together even when we're not," I said. Itachi, his eyes red with the Sharingan, ran his thumb over my name, though his expression did not change. "Do you like it?"

"…Yes," he said softly. He put it on with our names facing inward and hidden by his high collar. Well, he was an ANBU, so it probably wasn't a good idea to have his name on display even if it could only be read by an Uchiha…or Kakashi, I supposed.

He stood up.

"How long will you be gone this time?" I asked, holding out his lunch with the little note tucked inside as usual.

He did not reach up to take it. Nor did he answer right away.

"Not long," he said at last.

He wouldn't look at me.

And I knew.

It was the same feeling I'd had with Shisui. Tonight the entire clan would die.

"Do you have to go?" I asked, a weak ploy for time, more time. There wasn't enough time. "You haven't celebrated your birthday yet, right? You should spend time with the people who love you."

"I have to go," he said, and he took a step.

This was the end.

"W-wait," I said. I half expected him to ignore me, but he paused in the doorway, not turning back but not leaving either. I took the two steps required to stand beside him, and I pushed his lunch into his hand. "I know that things have been really bad lately. I think…I think maybe a part of that is because we, all of us, don't talk as much as we should. Tou-chan is proud of you and Nii-chan. And he loves you even if he doesn't say it. Kaa-chan loves us all and wants us to be happy. Nii-chan admires you and wants to stand beside you. And I know that you love us more than anything even if you can't say it anymore."

Itachi did not speak, his hand still braced against the door, a silhouette against the morning light.

"No matter what, we'll always be a family," I said. "Ever since Shisui-nii-san…" I stopped and swallowed thickly. "I know you've been hurting. And I'm sorry I couldn't help. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything. I'm sorry I couldn't make it better. I know that something bad is coming, and I can't tell you what to do. I just want you to know that I want you to be okay. Whatever you have to do, even if it's bad, I forgive you. No matter what you decide, you're my Onii-chan, and I will love you forever."

He'd said the same thing to Sasuke before his final death, but I thought that maybe he needed to hear it too. I wrapped my arms around his middle, giving him a hug for the very last time. He still did not turn, did not move to embrace me or to push me away.

"Thank you," he said.

And then he was gone.

I thought about spending the day with Mikoto, sitting on the veranda wrapped in blankets and reading Kumi Kunoichi. I thought about maybe going to visit the Uchiha park where the younger kids were playing games of Ninja. I thought about telling Fugaku what would happen, telling the police, telling the Hokage, telling anyone.

But it wouldn't do any good. Fugaku had been willing to accept his death to protect Sasuke. The police had fallen without landing a single blow on either Itachi or Obito. The Hokage would do nothing. Nothing at all.

I thought about a lot of things, so many things that Mikoto came to get me, saying that I would be late for school. School. I'd almost forgotten. Sasuke was standing impatiently at the door with both of our lunches in his hands. Mikoto was in the kitchen doing the dishes, and Fugaku sat at the table with a cup of tea. I should have come in earlier. I needed to say goodbye. But there was no time.

I threw my arms around Mikoto.

"I love you, Kaa-chan," I said.

"My, my, what's this about?" Mikoto asked.

I shook my head because what could I say? She too had been willing to die in the end.

"Sorry, I had a bad dream," I said. "I just wanted to say it. That's all."

"Well, it was just a nightmare," said Mikoto, patting my hair. "And you need to get to school before you're late."

I didn't want to let go. But holding on wouldn't change a thing.

I gave Fugaku a hug and told him that I loved him too. He looked briefly uncomfortable, like he wasn't totally sure how to handle this earnest display of affection. Maybe I hadn't said it often enough. Maybe I should have tried harder to reach him.

It was too late now.

I grabbed a piece of toast, and I ran out the door with Sasuke.

"Goodbye Kaa-chan, Tou-chan," I called. "I love you!"

Fugaku and Mikoto smiled at me as I ran after Sasuke.

School passed in a blur. At lunch, Sasuke bumped my shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, frowning.

I smiled, and it felt weak.

"Just a little tired," I said.

"Because of the bad dream?" Sasuke asked.

I nodded. Sure, let's go with that.

Sasuke took my hand and pulled me over to a shaded tree. We sat together, and I leaned against his shoulder as he ate.

"Nii-chan?" I asked. He hummed. "You're really going to be a great ninja one day."

It was the same thing I'd been telling him for most of my life. But I still wanted him to hear it again.

One last time.

"Like Nii-san," he said.

"No," I said. "Like you. You're not the same as Onii-chan. He understands everything right away and races ahead so fast that he can't always see how hard everyone else works. But you earn your strength through determination and practice. And I think that maybe that's better because you understand just how much it takes to become strong."

"I don't see how that helps," said Sasuke.

"When you make a friend, you'll be able to understand them," I said. "Onii-chan never could, and I think that's why he was so lonely. I don't ever want you to be lonely."

Sasuke leaned back against the tree.

"I don't need friends," he said. "I have you and Nii-san. But, I guess if I ever do make a friend, it might be nice."

"You will," I said, absolutely certain. The best friend of them all. Across the yard, Naruto was eating a cold cup of instant ramen.

I really shouldn't…

Oh, what did it matter?

"I-I think Naruto would be a good friend," I said.

"Huh?" Sasuke asked. "Why Naruto?"

"He seems very lonely, and…" I began, but then I paused. I'd steadfastly avoided talking about the incident, but it didn't matter now. It might even be enough for Sasuke to give Naruto a chance. "And, well…a long time ago, back when I first met Naruto, a boy came up to me and demanded that I be his girlfriend. I told him no, and the next day he brought his older brother, a genin, to…well…" I cleared my throat. "Naruto stood up for me."

Naruto was hurt because I'd been foolish. He'd fought for a girl he didn't even know because he was the type of person who would always stand up for what was right.

"Naruto is a good person," I said. "That's why I really want us all to be friends."

Hopefully that would be enough.

"Well…okay, I guess," said Sasuke. "He's still annoying, though."

The bell rang, and the teachers called us in. Sasuke was slightly more civil with Naruto during afternoon taijutsu class, so I considered that a win. I thought about spending the afternoon together, just the three of us, but Daikoku held out his hand in front of Sasuke just after class.

"Wait a minute, Sasuke-kun," said Daikoku as we went to leave. He waited until everyone else had filtered out before continuing. "Because of your outstanding shuriken and kunai techniques, you've been selected for a special training session to help improve your skill."

A chunin appeared in the doorway. He might have seemed ordinary except for the fact that his face was unnervingly blank and I couldn't sense him at all.

ANBU.

So they wanted to make sure that Sasuke wouldn't be home until Itachi was finished.

"Oh, um, can I come along to watch?" I asked.

"This training is for Sasuke-kun," said the chunin. "Only Sasuke-kun."

I hadn't even realized that I'd been nurturing a small seed of hope. But I still felt it when it died.

I swallowed whatever I emotions rose up in that moment and gave Sasuke my brightest smile.

"Oh, okay…do your best, Nii-chan," I said. If this was our last goodbye, I wanted it to be a happy one. I tried to say more, but no words came. I had so much I wanted to say. So why…?

"Yeah," said Sasuke. "I'll see you later, Kiyo-chan."

Wait.

But Daikoku and the chunin were ushering him away, speaking loudly about the training agenda.

Sasuke.

"Nii-chan…" I mumbled, barely more than a whisper, as he rounded the corner and vanished from my sight.

Please don't leave me.

"I love you. Goodbye..."

But he was already gone.

I stood for a moment longer before turning slowly and walking away. There was still one thing left for me to do. I closed my eyes and reached out my senses. It didn't take long, and I made a beeline to the Academy park. I found him on a swing with his head bowed and his blond fringe obscuring his eyes.

"Hey, Naruto," I said. He looked up in surprise at my approach, his eyes oddly bright. "I…wanted to talk to you…"

"Oh, hi, Kiyo-chan," he said, blinking. "What did you want to talk about?

If I wanted to, I could tell him everything. And really, what would it matter if I did? What was the Hokage going to do? Kill me? But Naruto was only seven. It wasn't fair to unload the weight of the future onto him when he was still just a child. Soon he would have to bear the burden of the entire world. But not now. Not yet.

There was, however, one thing I had to say.

"I just want you to know that I think…I think you're really cool!" I said, the words tumbling out before I could think better of them.

"Eh?" Naruto asked, his face such a perfect picture of shock that it erased my momentary embarrassment. "Wait, really? Why?"

"Do you remember when we first met?" I asked. "You protected me."

"Oh, that," he said, looking down. "Well…I didn't really…"

True, but…

"You did your best," I said, kneeling down in the grass beside him. Naruto's eyes were filled with surprise and maybe a little bit of hope. "You were so brave to stand up to him and so kind to protect someone you'd just met. To me, that makes you a really cool guy. Even if other people don't always see it, I wanted you to know."

"You-you really…" Naruto trailed off, the brightness in his eyes beading at the edge of his lashes. And I wondered how rarely he heard kind words that mine had such an effect.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you."

And I was. I'd been so focused on trying not to make things worse that I hadn't managed to make anything better either.

Naruto rubbed his eyes, dispelling the tears before they could fall and giving me a painfully wide grin.

"Eheh, that's okay," he said. "Do you…want to play Ninja with me?"

"Yeah," I said. "Let's play Ninja."

We played for hours, our game traversing several parks, an unused training ground, and many back allies. Naruto was…really good, actually. Because there were only two of us, we kept to the hide-and-seek aspect of the game. Naruto wasn't always fast, but he had a knack for tracking me down, and it was only my innate chakra sense that allowed me to find him when he really wanted to hide. I didn't normally enjoy games of Ninja, but with Naruto it was different. For the first time in a long while, I felt all of my worries and fears melt away. And as afternoon faded to evening, we climbed to the top of the Hokage monument together so that we could look out over all of Konoha as the sun began to set.

"I've never been up here before," I admitted, admiring the view.

"Huh, really?" Naruto asked sitting with his legs dangling precariously over the edge. Someone really should install a railing. "I come up here all the time."

"I can see why," I said. "It's beautiful."

Off in the distance, I could see the lights of the Uchiha district. It was almost time now. I thought briefly about running away as far and fast as my legs could carry me. But there was no running from this. If I tried, Itachi would hunt me down. And if he didn't, Danzo would. My skills were good for an Academy student, but they were still nothing compared to an actual ninja.

It was like Itachi had said. We had nowhere else to go.

"Naruto…" I began, but I stopped. "Did you have fun today?"

"Huh, oh, yeah!" said Naruto. "It was the best, Dattebayo! Hey, did you have fun?"

In this world of ninja, filled with darkness and pain, Naruto shone like the sun.

"Yeah," I said. "It was fun."

"Um, hey, Kiyo-chan…" said Naruto, his enthusiasm suddenly replaced by uncertainty. "Does this mean we're f-friends?"

I hesitated.

Which was worse? To have a friend and lose them in just one day? Or to have no friends at all?

"Yeah," I said. "We're friends. And maybe you can be friends with Nii-chan too. We can…we can all be friends together. If you thought today was good, the future will be even better. Because you know what's better than having a friend? Having lots of friends. And I know that one day you'll have lots and lots of friends who see you the way I do."

"Do you really think so?" Naruto asked, and I couldn't quite name the look that spread across his face, a mix of hope and longing.

"I know so," I said, standing up. "But it's getting late, and I have to go."

"Oh, okay, I guess," said Naruto. For a moment he looked dejected, but then his face lit up. "Well, see you tomorrow, Kiyo-chan!"

I nodded, unable to speak. Unable to lie.

It was just past dusk when I returned to the too-quiet Uchiha district. I stretched out my senses, but all of the buildings were empty. I couldn't feel anyone at all.

Or, no.

Itachi was at home.

I ran toward him, past the weapons puncturing the walls, past the blood, past Teyaki and Uruchi, dead in front of their little senbei shop. I arrived home, and it was as dark and silent as the rest of the Uchiha district. I traced Itachi's chakra to the dojo and reached up to open the doors.

I'd known what I would see. I'd been preparing for it for over seven years. I'd said goodbye this morning knowing what I would find when I returned.

And yet…

Mikoto.

Fugaku.

Mom.

Dad.

They were…

Red.

He had killed them quickly, almost painlessly. But seeing their lifeless bodies laid out like that made time stand still. A figure moved in the shadows. Itachi made no effort to conceal his presence, merely stepping into the moonlight and looking at me with dispassionate eyes. Eyes red with the Sharingan. Whatever words I'd intended to say caught in my throat. Whatever I'd been planning vanished as I saw his katana dripping red with blood. His eyes met mine, and they swirled into a three-pointed pinwheel.

"Tsukuyomi."

And I—

-woke up.

I blinked and was out of bed in an instant. There was sunlight outside, birds chirping, and the sounds of our neighbors in the street.

"Kiyo-chan!" Mikoto called from downstairs. "Hurry or you're going to be late for school."

This wasn't…it couldn't be.

I tiptoed downstairs to find everyone, including Itachi, sitting at the breakfast table. He looked over at me and smiled. It was an easy expression, one I hadn't seen for the better part of a year. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut.

"Are you alright, Kiyo-chan?" he asked. "You didn't have a bad dream, did you?"

Bad dream? Bad dream?

"Y-yeah," I mumbled. "Let me…get dressed."

I did so slowly and carefully, trying to feel the difference between the genjutsu and reality. I tried all the usual tricks including flaring my chakra and inflicting pain, but nothing helped. Of course it wouldn't. Tsukuyomi was not so easily undone.

I came downstairs again, and I threw my arms around Mikoto just as I had that morning. She smelled faintly of her perfumed soap. Ninja rarely used scented products. They could be a liability in the field when so many ninja had enhanced senses of smell. But Mikoto had been retired for longer than I'd been alive, so she could indulge in it.

It felt real.

She felt real.

Mikoto patted my hair and gave me a warm hug, not even asking why I was being so clingy.

"Why don't I walk you to school today?" Itachi asked, still smiling gently.

After a moment, I nodded. I grabbed a piece of toast, and we began walking together.

"Onii-chan...why am I here?" I asked hesitantly. Itachi gave me a puzzled look, but I knew it was him and not just a construct like the others.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"The clan was planning to betray the village, weren't they?" I asked. "And to protect Konoha, you had to stop them. So, why...all this?"

I waved my hand at the world around me. This wasn't a torture genjutsu like he would use on Sasuke.

"Here, you are safe," he said. He paused and looked at the sky, a perfect sunny day. "Isn't it better this way?"

Oh…

In Tsukuyomi, time and space were Itachi's to command. If he wanted, he could stretch a single moment into an entire lifetime. A perfect lifetime free of death and free of pain. I could grow old and die here after a long and happy life.

"It's not real," I said, but it was a token resistance. If the illusion felt real, the body made it real. Of all the ways to die, this was probably the most merciful.

"I know," he said. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you this reality."

We continued walking.

Time was strange within Tsukuyomi. If I focused, it seemed to pass just the same as time in the real world, but if I lost focus, time blurred together. I could blink and another few weeks were suddenly gone with only vague memories of what I'd been doing. Life happened in snapshots.

Sasuke and I made friends at the Academy.

Sasuke graduated at the top of his class and was put on a team with Hinata and Kiba. It was both a surprise and not because Itachi didn't know the future. He didn't know what should have been, what would be in the real world. He could only take what he knew now and attempt to extrapolate from that. Of course he would make mistakes, fudge details, and fill in the blanks with his own ideas.

I graduated and was immediately recruited by the hospital.

I was an intern…a resident…a medic.

Sasuke was a genin…a chunin…a jounin.

There was no escape.

There had never been an escape.

I let my mind drift, and grew older.

I moved out of the house and into an apartment near the hospital. Itachi and Sasuke threw me a housewarming party, and half a dozen of my closest friends came too. One of them, a girl named Akane, introduced me to her teammate, a boy who promptly asked me out on a date. He was strong and handsome and kind. He was perfect…frighteningly perfect, more like the caricature of a love interest than an actual person. And I realized that Itachi, my thirteen-year-old brother, was trying to give me a boyfriend, which was mortifying.

I turned down the boy, and I turned down the next one that came after. Itachi tried again and again, apparently convinced that all girls wanted to get married and start families. After his eighth failed attempt, he even tentatively offered me a girlfriend, which was both mortifying and hilarious.

Eventually Itachi asked me outright what I wanted, and I told him that the only thing I wanted was a place of my own, a house surrounded by trees with a big garden and large windows to let in lots of air and sunshine. He accepted this, albeit slightly dubiously, and that was the end of that. Itachi married Izumi, and they had three children. Sasuke married Akane, and they had five children.

Their children grew up, and I played the part of friendly, candy-giving aunt.

Itachi became the Fifth Hokage, and the village was at peace. There were no whispers of the Akatsuki, Zetsu, or Madara. There was no fourth shinobi war, and the Otsutsuki clan did not descend from the heavens. Kaguya's revival remained a distant fantasy.

Itachi sent me on missions all across the Elemental Nations. I stood on mountain tops and swam in the ocean. I saw forests and deserts and plains, everything in every travel guide I'd ever read.

Time slipped away faster.

I was 30…40…50.

My nieces and nephews moved out and became fine police officers. I was a respected member of the hospital. Sasuke took over Fugaku's role as the Chief of Police when Fugaku retired.

He and Mikoto passed away a few years later, quietly and without pain.

I was 60…70…80.

I was old and white-haired.

I was tired.

Itachi, his hair also snowy white and his face wrinkled with age, sat beside my hospital bed. Sasuke and all of my nieces and nephews had come in to see me earlier, but now it was just the two of us.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, and for once I didn't have to focus to feel as if I was living in the moment.

"I'm fine, Onii-chan," I said. I'd never grown out of using his childish title. "I'm just a little tired."

"Then sleep," he said.

I wondered if he was feeling doubt over his choice now that we were near the end. I knew why he had done it. He had only been allowed to spare his younger brother. Other innocents, all of the other children of the clan, had already fallen to his blade. It wasn't that Itachi didn't love me. Of course he did. But he loved me the same way he loved Fugaku, Mikoto, and Izumi. He loved me and the rest of our family.

Itachi reached out to hold my wrinkled hand, and he smiled at me.

"If I go to sleep now, I might not wake," I said.

I was so tired.

For just a moment, Itachi's face twisted in grief before he composed himself once more. I hadn't meant to hurt him. I hadn't meant for many things to happen. How was it that I had been given years to make things right and still managed to reach the end with so many regrets?

"Kiyo-chan…do you…are you truly ready to die?" he asked.

Even after everything he'd done, he still wanted permission, to wait until I was prepared. I looked up at the ceiling and thought of the life he'd given me, of the peace and friendship that would never exist in the real world. I'd died young in my previous life. And I would die younger in this one. But he gave me the illusion of time and the story of a life. He hadn't needed to, but he'd done it anyway as a final gift, one that was winding down even now.

I gave his hand a little squeeze. I'd been preparing for this day for a very, very long time. I was as ready as I would ever be.

"No one is ever really ready to die," I said. "But I know why you have to kill me, Onii-chan. I knew that there was something going on with the clan, and Nii-chan would be in danger if he ever knew. I don't ever want either of you to be hurt because of me, and I know you could never kill him. So…please go easy on him. He's just a little kid, and he doesn't know anything. He'll be in a lot of pain once it's over. Just don't make it any harder than it has to be."

Itachi's face twisted again into a picture of agony.

"You-," he began, but then he stopped, lowering his head until his bangs hid his eyes from view. His shoulders shook.

"Oh," I said, something occurring to me as the room started to dim. "Have you seen my ribbon? I must have lost it somewhere."

"It's here," said Itachi, producing my simple blue ribbon from an inner pocket. Even in the illusion, his face was wet with tears. "Would you like me to help you put it on?"

I nodded, and he helped me sit up. He ran his fingers through my hair, pulling back my fringe and tying the ribbon into a bow just as I had always done as a child. I settled back down slowly and carefully onto pillows as soft as heaven.

"What I told you before is still true," I said. "I forgive you, and I will love you forever. You'll always be my Onii-chan."

Itachi leaned forward to kiss my forehead and spoke words nearly too soft to hear.

I closed my eyes. My breathing slowed, becoming heavier as I drifted off, slipping away quietly while Itachi held my hand.

I was so tired.

I breathed once, in and out.

And I slept.

The End

A/N: This is probably the saddest ending I've ever written, but I think it highlights the real tragedy of the massacre. I loved writing about the Uchiha clan, and I absolutely adored writing little Sasuke, Itachi, and Naruto. Maybe someday I'll write more of them. Until then, I hope you enjoyed reading Misstep. Thank you and goodnight...

A/N 2: Edited to add: While this is the original end of the story, I created an alternate ending representing a timeline where Kiyo survives the massacre, and since there was interest in following up on those events, this story has now broken into two. The first is this one which ends here, and the second will continue on. So, if you would like to continue reading Kiyo's story, skip to Chapter 11...