Chapter 30: Snow Angels

...

I wasn't surprised when Nagato told me that he and Konan were planning a mission to the Land of Snow. They did go on missions occasionally because some clients wouldn't settle for anything less than the absolute strongest member of the organization. What surprised me was when Nagato told me that I would be joining them. Apparently the mission would take a month to complete, and Nagato wasn't willing to miss out on that much healing time again. He'd already lost a month around Itachi's birthday, and he was impatient to regain his full health. I couldn't exactly blame him for that. He still had a long way to go, and every little bit helped.

I considered the invitation a good thing for me too. I hadn't seen Obito at all after the incident at the festival. I wasn't sure exactly what I was expecting, but the absolute lack of a reaction left me with a knot of anticipatory dread. When Itachi returned for his next healing session, I told him what I'd seen. His response had been…cryptic.

"Knowledge and truth are vague concepts," he'd said, appearing to weigh his words carefully. "And the masks we wear hide our truths. What we find when cracks appear in the masks of others may only tell part of what there is to know. And that partial knowledge can be more dangerous and deceitful than the outright lies of the masks alone. Do not speak of what you have seen. But do not let the memory blind you to possibilities, even those that might seem impossible."

If I hadn't known the truth already, his advice would have been less than helpful. But I did know the truth. In fact, I knew the truth better than Itachi. 'Tobi' was a mask. So was 'Madara'. It was sheer bad luck that I happened to see a crack.

I also decided not to mention the whole 'Tou-chan'...thing. I didn't want to alarm Itachi with even more uncomfortable revelations. At the time it had simply seemed like a strange albeit harmless request, but without a blanket of Positive Intent clouding my thinking, it became more unsettling the more I thought about it. I just couldn't understand why Obito would want that. It wasn't like I could ask him about it either.

So I was happy enough to pack my bags and leave Ame behind, at least for a short while.

The Land of Snow lived up to its name, more so in the mountains where we set up camp. It wasn't much, little more than a cave with a ninjutsu-crafted earthen stone wall at the front. The climb to it was rough, but now that I was huddled in a cocoon of blankets beside Nagato, I was getting my shivering under control. Konan, who wore only her normal attire plus gloves and a scarf, didn't seem particularly bothered by the temperature. Her attention was focused on the paper angels she'd sent out in a wide net through the surrounding mountains.

"My array is in place," said Konan tonelessly.

At her words, Pein set out the storage scroll containing the other five Pein bodies and activated it in a great burst of chakra smoke. Nagato closed his eyes, centering his focus on the puppets, and they came to life one by one as he linked his chakra to their metal piercings.

"I will set out," said Pein. "Keep watch over the immediate area. I will send word of any complications."

I shuddered at just what sort of 'complications' someone like Pein could run into, but I disguised it as a shiver from the cold.

The Pein bodies set out from the cave, vanishing as they descended toward Kazahana Castle. I hadn't gotten a very good look at it on the way up the mountain. It was shrouded in mist and shadow, and I'd been more concerned with my footing than sight-seeing.

Konan, blessedly, took the opportunity to light a fire, and I scooted toward the warmth.

"Is this your first time traveling to a colder climate?" Konan asked. She was eyeing me with light curiosity, most of her attention still focused on sensing the immediate area.

"Yes," I said, my breath misting in the air. "Konoha has a mild climate. We get snow sometimes in winter, but I've never been this cold."

"Even children know how to regulate their body temperature using chakra," she said.

"I guess I never really learned how," I said. "When I was little, I was always sick. I would stay inside under the kotatsu all day during winter while everyone else was outside. Well, I did sneak out once, but I caught a really bad chill and had to go to the hospital. It worried Kaa-chan so much, so I didn't try again."

Mikoto had blamed herself for not watching me carefully enough. I hadn't meant to make her cry.

"I see," said Konan, shrugging off her Akatsuki cloak. "Now is as good a time as any to learn. Watch closely…"

Konan demonstrated her temperature regulation jutsu. The Sharingan coupled with my sensing ability made it easy to mimic the cycling of chakra through various chakra nodes, which acted like heaters or heat sinks depending on the rate of flow. It didn't actually cost much chakra to keep warm since it was recycled and reused, but it did require concentration. And practice, which I did between checking Nagato's vitals and chakra levels every hour. They dipped rapidly around midnight, again an hour later, and one final time at dawn. After that it was only the steady decline caused by having all of his Pein bodies active at once. This didn't mean he was having an easy time, just that he wasn't throwing around any more absurdly powerful jutsu.

Nagato remained still and silent until midmorning when he finally opened his eyes with a weary expression.

"It is done," he said, sounding particularly strained. I dutifully padded to his side and laid my hands across his bony chest.

"Your chakra level is at about 25%, and your vitals could be better," I said. I cycled healing chakra through his body, mending the small amount of damage caused by the exertion. "You're not in danger, but you shouldn't travel in your condition. At least not until your chakra has recovered."

"We will set out in three hours," he said.

"Tomorrow would be better," I countered, careful not to phrase it as an outright refusal. "You need rest."

Nagato considered it, his face shadowed as he weighed the options. There was no real harm in waiting a little longer. We weren't on a schedule. But this base was hardly a fortress, and we weren't far from Kazahana Castle. I may not have known exactly what he had done down there, but I could guess. What was the probability of retaliation?

Nagato must have been thinking the same thing, because his eyes flicked to Konan.

"The area is secure," she said.

That could mean a lot of things.

And yet, with Nagato so weakened, with our defenses so light, even a small number of enemy ninja could be a threat.

So if we were secure, then…

All those people.

Everyone.

Had he really killed them all?

"Very well," said Nagato at last. "We will leave at dawn."

The Pein bodies returned, and Pein sealed away the other five before settling beside the fire, a picture of ease as Nagato dozed.

I ventured to the mouth of the cave. Outside, the pine trees were dusted with a fine layer of white, and Pein had left no mark of passage on the slopes. There were no signs of life, either human or animal, as far as the eye could see. Even Konan's paper angels were invisible against the snow, only appearing as tiny sparks of chakra to my chakra sense.

"How is your temperature regulation?" Konan asked.

"It feels like spring," I said, reaching up with splayed fingers to test the air. I could feel the coolness of the wind as it stole away my warmth through the glove, but it was a pleasant sensation, like a cool breeze on a warm day.

"You should come inside," she said. "It's pointless to waste chakra needlessly."

It was good advice.

And yet…

"Can I stay just a little longer?" I asked. "I've never seen the mountains before. Not in person, at least."

In the midmorning light, the view was truly breathtaking.

And then I had an idea.

"Can I go outside?" I asked suddenly. "Not far. Just to the bottom of the hill."

I pointed toward the bottom of a shallow slope. Konan blinked, nonplussed.

"What do you require down there?" she asked.

"Nothing, it's the journey," I said. "Look."

I approached one of the pine trees a short distance from the cave entrance and used a chakra scalpel to carefully slice off a large chunk of bark a little broader and taller than me. I held it up, triumphant.

"I've always wanted to try sledding!" I said, grinning. I'd never had the chance while in Konoha.

Konan furrowed her brow but didn't object.

That wasn't a 'no'.

This was happening.

I swept across the snow, not leaving a single footprint in my wake and set the tree bark sled down at a promising spot. I then settled down, waited a moment to plot my course, and then pushed off, descending the hill at a startling speed. I squealed with delight as I went faster and faster until the ground leveled off and I crashed into a snowbank. I stood up and laughed.

It had been so long. I hadn't quite realized how much I missed the carefree childhood of my former life. It felt so far away, almost like a half-forgotten dream.

Konan watched me skate up the hill easily, her expression mildly curious.

"Haven't you ever been sledding before?" I asked.

"There is no point to such childish games," she said.

Right. Konan was a child soldier and an orphan from a war-torn country. I doubted that she'd had much of a childhood.

"The point is to have fun!" I said, trying to think of more wintertime activities. "C'mon, I need your help to build a snowman!"

Konan's participation was initially reluctant, but she had a bit of an artistic side, so the snowman turned out pretty well in my professional opinion. Konan wove him a paper scarf while I went to collect stones and twigs for his face, which she placed with care. If the end result resembled Pein, I didn't say anything.

"I always wanted to do this in the real world," I said, adjusting Snow-Pein's paper scarf. "When I was young, I was always at home sick or in the hospital. Sometimes I was bedridden for months. So I begged Onii-chan to show me the world using his genjutsu. And sometimes he would!"

I still remembered those nights in the hospital where we traded sweets on the beach.

Konan frowned.

"That seems unlike your brother," she said.

My grin became fixed.

Oh, right.

"Onii-chan wasn't always like this," I said. "When I was little, he was always so kind to me, reading to me and showing me the world with genjutsu. He gave me my ribbon. He really was a gentle boy."

Konan's eyes narrowed.

"Is that why you still care for him even knowing what he has done?" she asked, her tone hardening with the tiniest hint of rebuke. "It is foolish to cling to a past that will never return, and it blinds you to the reality of your situation."

My strained smile faltered and finally fell. Right, it wasn't like I could explain my actual situation. Itachi had never shown a single shred of affection toward me where others could see.

He couldn't.

"The kindness he showed me back then doesn't erase what he did," I agreed. I turned away and looked out across the frozen landscape. This was dangerous. Conversations about Itachi always were. "But there's a difference between acknowledging the past and ignoring the reality of the present. I know what he intends to do...and I still care for him."

Even if he continued with his plan to die by Sasuke's hand, I couldn't be angry with him. It would hurt, but he was hurting too.

"Does your own life mean so little to you?" she asked.

Well...

"No one can change the past, but as long as we live, we can still choose what we become," I said slowly. "Even those lost in darkness can find the light."

"And that's why you still wear the ribbon he gave you?" she asked. "You still think he might change his mind and spare you."

Well, when she put it like that, it sounded silly. But I didn't think that he would spare me. I knew he would. It wasn't my life that I was worried about.

"No matter what choice me makes, my ribbon is precious to me," I said. "I want to keep it for as long as I live."

Konan was silent for a long moment. Then she sighed.

"How foolish."

I winced. Well, when considering my situation from Konan's perspective, 'foolish' was probably the kindest thing she could say.

"Maybe," I said. "But even if he never finds the light, the light inside me will not die. No matter how bleak my situation becomes, it's still okay to find joy in life. It's not a betrayal of my pain and my loss to look back and remember a time when I was happy."

After the massacre there were times when I felt that it would have been kinder for Itachi to kill me. But none of those dark days, not even the worst, could tarnish my memories.

"A time when you were happy," Konan echoed.

I blinked at the weary sadness in her voice. She was looking at the Snow-Pein.

No.

At Yahiko.

I took her hand.

"It's okay for you to be happy too," I said.

Konan was still staring at Snow-Yahiko.

"You…" she began, and then she stopped. "Why would you care about my happiness?"

"I don't like seeing anyone in pain," I said.

"Even if that person is your enemy?" Konan asked.

I frowned and looked away because, yes, technically we were enemies. But...

"It's not as simple as that," I said. "I think that most people are working toward a better future. Sometimes we end up crossing paths and have to work against each other, but maybe if we all understood each other a little better, we wouldn't have to fight. Because we're all on the same journey. We all want to reach a better world. Even if I don't live to see it, I want to do my best to make that better world a reality."

"You know what Itachi intends for you," she said. "Are you truly resigned to your fate?"

Not the fate she thought I'd have, no, but I'd always known I was living on borrowed time.

"I've never had control over my own fate," I said. I'd expected to die with my clan. I'd expected a lot of things. Fate hadn't cared. "I've known what is coming for a long time. Even if I can't change what will happen, I can still decide what I do with the time I have left. And what I want to do is to help others and find whatever joy I can in this world while I'm here."

"A proud ninja would fight until the end," said Konan.

As if I cared about being a 'proud ninja'. It was the type of thing Fugaku would have said, meant to inspire me to fight to the bitter end. That was our lot in life: to fight and kill and fight and die. And why did Konan care? By the time Itachi came to take me away, I would be nothing but a liability to the Akatsuki.

"I'm not a proud ninja," I said. "I'm just me. And maybe if we all had a little less pride, we'd all have a little less fighting too."

"Perhaps," said Konan, though she didn't sound convinced.

This was too depressing. I tugged at her sleeve.

"C'mon, it'll be dark soon, and tomorrow we'll be gone," I said. "I don't know if I'll ever see mountains again, so let's make some snow angels while we still can."

"...So that you can have a happy memory of this place?" she asked, looking out across the mountains.

"So that I can have a happy memory with you," I corrected, projecting a bit of Positive Intent.

Konan was my enemy. This was true. But she was also hurting. Like Itachi. Like me.

I couldn't change the fact that she had lost the man she'd loved, that he had been killed while trying to save her. I couldn't return her comrades who had died, and I couldn't give her hope that their sacrifice would mean something. She'd lost so much, and soon she would lose more: Jiraiya and Nagato. Even her own life. But I could offer her a bit of kindness at least. A single carefree afternoon of playing in the snow wasn't much. But it was all I had to give.

Konan hesitated for a long minute before nodding and following me to an untouched portion of the hillside that was still bathed in afternoon light. We made snow angels together and had a playful snowball fight. When afternoon fell to dusk, I begged for one more sled ride down the hill.

"You know, I'm pretty sure that this sled is big enough for two," I offered, grinning.

It took a bit of wheedling. More than a bit, actually. But eventually Konan agreed. I laughed and cheered for our final descent, and I thought that I might have heard a quiet laugh from Konan too. But it was probably just the wind…even if Konan's eyes had softened and her lips were quirked in a tiny smile.

"Was it fun?" I asked.

I expected a bland negative, so I was pleasantly surprised when Konan took a moment to consider the question.

"…Yes, it was…fun," she said quietly. She looked up to the top of the hill. "But it is time for us to return now."

It wasn't until I looked up from the bottom of the hill that I noticed Pein was watching us. His expression was blank and unreadable as usual. I suddenly felt a little self-conscious and guilty for some reason I couldn't quite explain. Had he been listening?

We climbed the hill and returned to the cave. Pein said nothing, preceding us into the base where he had prepared dinner. We ate in silence, and I bedded down as Pein took the first watch. I shivered, huddling deeper into the blankets. I had just fallen into a light doze when Konan draped another blanket over me and I heard Nagato's words, barely more than a whisper.

"It's good to see you smile again, Konan."

Back in Ame and with New Year on the horizon, I requested that the hospital be closed for a week.

"And what do you plan to do with the time off?" Nagato asked when Konan and I helped him back into his walker. We'd just finished up the morning healing session and were sitting down to breakfast.

"Well, I thought it would be a good chance to work on those," I said, indicating the numerous metal rods protruding from his back.

Nagato blinked slowly.

"Are they causing a problem?" he asked.

"The rods are causing irritation in your vital organs," I said. "My first recommendation would be to remove them, but if you absolutely need them, it would be a good idea to relocate them to your arms instead. Also, since I've finished healing your legs, I was hoping to start on physical therapy to get you walking again."

"So closing the hospital for a week is not solely for your benefit," said Nagato.

"I prefer to think of it as a win-win situation," I said, slightly defensive and acutely aware of my own selfish motivations. I was worried that 'Tobi' would try to spend New Year with me the way he'd joined me for Obon. I hadn't seen or heard from him at all since then, but I didn't want to tempt fate. Thankfully Nagato agreed to the closure and the surgery.

It all went smoothly enough, and Nagato reported no decrease in performance when moving the rods to his arms. To my relief, my preoccupation with the surgery and recovery was enough to keep me busy for the entire holiday. So it was a success for the both of us. The surgery did take a toll on Nagato, however, so we didn't begin physical therapy until a few weeks after New Year.

During the first session, Konan and I stood on either side of Nagato as he took several hesitant steps forward. His brow furrowed in concentration as he gripped the parallel walking bars. Nagato's skeletal legs, almost completely devoid of muscle after years of disuse, trembled with each step. But Nagato continued forward with grim determination, only stopping once he'd reached the edge of the bars.

I pulled up a chair, but he shook his head.

"Once more," he rasped, carefully turning around with Konan's help and making his way slowly back to the walker.

He made it about halfway there before his left leg buckled. Konan caught him easily, pulling him the remaining distance to the nearby chair. I helped him settle in, and Nagato leaned back to catch his breath.

"That's good progress," I said.

"It's not enough," said Nagato.

I could understand his frustration. He was accustomed to controlling his Pein bodies with ease. His actual body was in bad shape, and there weren't any shortcuts to gaining back muscle mass. Once his breathing slowed, he eyed the parallel walking bars and prepared to stand again.

"No," I said, pushing him back down. "We can try again after breakfast. You'll feel better when you've eaten."

Nagato gave me a blank look, and I realized that I'd just given him, the leader of the Akatsuki, an order. But I set my jaw the way that Sasuke always did when he wanted to be stubborn about something. I hadn't put seven months of my time into healing him just so that he could tear a muscle by pushing himself too hard.

After a moment, Nagato relaxed.

"Very well," he said. "Konan?"

Konan nodded and set out breakfast onto the table. It was a hearty meal by Ame standards, full of meats, rice, and leafy vegetables. Nagato picked at his food, not seeming particularly interested in anything. His gaze kept wandering back to the walking bars, so when he pushed his plate away, I pushed it right back in front of him. I added an extra helping of fish and rice.

Nagato gave me a bewildered look.

"Three more bites," I insisted. "You're not eating enough, and you need food to regain your strength."

Wow, I sounded just like Mikoto when she was trying to convince Sasuke to finish his natto.

Nagato gave me a slow blink and let out a breath that might have been a sigh. One corner of his mouth twitched up before settling back into his usual neutral expression. He took the chopsticks and ate the extra portions I provided. I nodded approvingly, and when he was done, Konan and I helped him hobble over to the walking bars to try again.

"A pool might help," I said about ten minutes later when Nagato sat back down to rest. We were getting to the end of the healing session. I'd have to do my morning seal-healing in a few minutes. And both Konan and Pein had responsibilities as well. But walking was clearly taking a toll. There had to be an easier way. "It might be better if we can try walking in water. At least it would have a lower impact on your joints."

"We have a private onsen," said Konan thoughtfully, glancing at Nagato.

"It is worth a try," he said, his breathing labored.

So that night, Konan and I stood beside Nagato in the water, all of us in bathing suits as we helped him walk back and forth. I was in a cute little white one-piece with a bright blue bow, Konan was in a flower patterned bikini, and Nagato wore Akatsuki-patterned swimming trunks. The warm water soothed Nagato's muscles and didn't produce as much strain while still offering enough resistance to make the simple act of walking into a workout. He seemed to make better progress, and when he needed to rest, Konan and I could relax alongside him in the water.

I let out a sigh of contentment and leaned back onto one of the tall, flat stones.

"This feels really nice," I said. "I can't remember the last time I visited an onsen."

"I see there was an ulterior motive to your suggestion," said Nagato dryly.

I made a sound of objection, but when I looked over, Nagato was smiling.

I stared.

I couldn't help it. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen him smile. During healing sessions he was always cold and professional. But now he wore an actual, genuine smile. He must have seen my look of bafflement because his smile widened.

"That's so mean, Pein-sama," I huffed.

"Forgive me," he said, completely unrepentant.

"Just for that, I'm making you eat four extra bites at breakfast tomorrow," I threatened.

Wait, maybe that was going a bit far. This was Nagato after all…

But Nagato only let out a quiet laugh.

"May I be granted the strength to endure your wrath," he said.

Was that a joke?

From Nagato?

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I've never seen you smile before," I said, still mildly bemused at his expression.

"Ah," he said, reaching up to touch his lips. "It has been a while."

"Well, it has been a pretty good day," I said. "You've walked your farthest distance yet. And you're completely off the pain medications. How do you feel?"

"Better," he said thoughtfully, reaching up to flex his fingers. Not too long ago, even that small movement would have caused him pain.

"I'm glad," I said.

And I was. So much had been done to him and he had used that pain to do so much to others. It was a vicious cycle that only Naruto would break, and even then it would be too late to save him. I might fear Nagato, and I would absolutely cheer for his defeat when he faced Naruto, but I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him as well.

"So you are," Nagato muttered softly. I blinked at him. "In the Land of Snow, you spoke of wanting to make a better world. What did you mean by that?"

Huh, so he had been listening.

"A better world is one where people use their power to help those who need them," I said. "If there is pain, everyone works together to heal that pain."

"Not all pain can be alleviated," said Nagato. He was no longer smiling. "What remedy is there for the slaughter of your clan?"

And that was the problem with idealized worlds. They tended to fall apart at the barest breath of reality. I touched my chest above my heart.

"There is none," I said. "That pain will never fade. But I still dream of a future where it will never happen to anyone else."

If Fugaku had spoken to the Hokage plainly about the clan's feelings. If Obito and Madara had not schemed to make things worse. If the Hokage had used his power to make things better…

If.

If.

If.

There were so many points where things might have been different, so many people who could have stepped in to make it stop. But they didn't.

"I still believe that such a world is possible," I said. Naruto would make it so. The past could not be changed, but the future would be better. "And until it comes to pass, I want to do my best and use my power to help others whenever I can."

"Not everyone shares your ideals," said Nagato.

"I know," I said. "I can't do very much on my own. But it seems like everyone wants a world without suffering. So if everyone could just understand one another, we could all work together, and then there wouldn't be any need for the evil that is done in the name of peace."

There was a long silence.

When I looked up, Nagato's eyes were hard and unreadable, all evidence of his previous humor evaporating in an instant.

Oh…

I'd gone too far.

I'd been pushing the limits of acceptable behavior, emboldened by his good mood. I'd almost forgotten that Nagato had killed every single person who stood in his way.

"I will bring peace to this broken world," he said. "And it will not be through words or understanding, but through bloodshed and pain. I will destroy Konoha and all within so that the rest of the world understands what will become of them if they continue to fight."

The smart thing to do would be to back down, concede defeat and drop the subject. There was nothing to be gained by pushing him further. I was not the one who would change his heart, and antagonizing him would only make things worse for me.

"Do you…hate Konoha?" I asked.

"Yes," said Nagato. There was no sign of anger or malice in his voice, but the word was spoken with cold, undeniable certainty.

"Do you…hate me?" I asked.

Nagato closed his eyes.

"No," he said. "There are some from Konoha that I might even consider friends. When I was a child, I became a student of Jiraiya, one of the Sanin of Konoha. At the time I was afraid of my own powers. I was filled with hatred and guilt. But he saved me. Without even realizing it, I came to accept him. But that was a long time ago."

"If Jiraiya saved you, then why do you hate Konoha?" I asked. I already knew, but I couldn't tell him that.

"My parents were murdered by Konoha ninja," said Nagato. "And if that was not enough, Danzo of Konoha conspired with Hanzo the Salamander to kill my closest friend, Yahiko. Like you, Yahiko believed in a world where everyone worked together to achieve peace. And for that, he was killed. After Yahiko's death, I became Pein, the leader of the Akatsuki. I lost many friends in battle after that. Everyone in Konoha crows about peace, but each mission funds their wars. Their peace is built on the sacrifice of small countries like mine. Your peace is violence toward us. And so there can never be peace in this accursed land. The peace Jiraiya spoke of, the one you wish to see, it's all nothing but a fantasy."

I couldn't exactly fault him for thinking that. Konoha had sacrificed many things for peace, my family among them. The pain of that memory sliced through me like a cold kunai.

I'm sorry.

"I can't tell you that you shouldn't feel that way," I said. "But razing whole villages and killing other innocents isn't the answer. When you destroy Konoha and kill Danzo, will that be enough to heal the pain in your heart? Hatred just keeps burning and burning, consuming everything in its path. And if you keep going down that path, I don't think there will be anything left. That's not the type of peace Yahiko wanted, was it?"

Peace by extinction was no peace at all.

Nagato did not respond.

"You and Konan-sama still have each other," I continued. "And you have a village that looks up to you and depends on you. If you only wanted peace for yourself, you and Konan-sama could go off and live alone. With your power, no one could ever hurt you. But instead you protect Ame. So protect them! You don't need to destroy everyone else to keep them safe. Starting a war will only hurt them more."

There was a long, heavy silence.

"So that is your answer," he said, a note of bitterness in his voice. "Forget the past and let those who wronged us go unpunished. I should live like you, a cowering slave beholden to the one who murdered my family and friends?"

His words hit like a slap.

I shouldn't be surprised.

In his eyes, I was exactly what he'd said. It wasn't his fault that he didn't know Itachi's truth. But even if he had known, I was still a loyal Konoha ninja even though the village had murdered my clan. Danzo was still there. He was still in power, still waiting for his chance to finish what he'd started.

"No," I said. "Remember the people you loved and remember what they wanted to protect."

My clan had wanted to protect one another. Fugaku and Mikoto had died willingly at the end. The rest of the clan was already gone, and their only desire was to protect their children. Itachi and Sasuke were the only family I had left. I wanted to protect them too.

"Your pain is the source of your kindness," said Nagato. "When the world knows pain as we do, they will no longer wish to fight. That is how I will protect my country and my people."

"No, pain did not make me kind," I said. I closed my eyes, and suddenly I was seven years old, kneeling in the Uchiha shrine surrounded by the mementos of my clan, all the people I hadn't saved. The Third arrived, and I screamed at him as though possessed. "Pain made me vulnerable and scared and angry. I made myself kind."

"Nevertheless, I will bring peace to this world," said Nagato. "And to that end, I will raze Konoha. I will destroy everything you've ever loved. When you see your home reduced to ashes, you will hate me just as I hate them."

I'd known from the beginning that my words would not reach him, but it was still disappointing to hear the unwavering resolution in his voice.

"No matter what happens, I can't hate someone who puts their whole heart into doing what they believe is right," I said. I couldn't hate Itachi. And if I couldn't hate Itachi, I couldn't hate Nagato. "You said that after Yahiko's death, you became Pein. Who were you before?"

My question seemed to catch him off guard, and he hesitated a moment before responding.

"Nagato," he said.

"That name suits you better," I said. "You are more than just your pain."

"Why would you believe that?" he asked.

Good question. He'd only ever shown single-minded devotion to his goals. And yet…

"Because you smiled at me even though I was born to a village you hate," I said. "And because I have to believe that there is hope for those lost in darkness and pain."

I had to believe it for Itachi and Sasuke. I had to believe that one day they would come back, that I could bring light into the darkness where they walked. Nagato looked away, his curtain of red hair shielding his eyes. His chakra was extremely agitated. I'd clearly pushed him too far.

"It's late," he said. "This is all for tonight."

A curt dismissal was probably the best way this conversation could end. I stood and bowed before hurrying away. Behind me, there was only silence.

AN: Hopefully I've responded to everyone's reviews. For some reason I'm no longer receiving email notifications for things, so I have to periodically return to check. If it takes me a while to respond, I'm sorry for the delay.