Chapter 32: Excursions

"Have you not been sleeping well?" Konan asked.

It was a reasonable question since I was currently dozing on her lap despite it being midday. The arrangement was a little awkward at first, but this was the easiest way for both of us to fit on Nagato's back as he did one-finger pushups.

"Mmhmm," I hummed, pressing my face into the fabric of her Akatsuki cloak.

I hoped Itachi would return to Ame soon. I always slept better when he was around. Still, I felt almost at peace nestled in Konan's arms. This was how Mikoto had held me when I was young, and Nagato's movements felt like gentle rocking. Konan even stroked my hair, which felt nice. The only ones who'd ever done that were Itachi and…

"…Kaa-chan," I mumbled, slipping into a deeper doze.

Konan's hand stilled and there was the slightest hitch in Nagato's rhythm before he resumed his pushups.

"You'll take tonight off from training," said Nagato, which was enough to pull me back from the brink of sleep. I was about to object because I wasn't that tired, but he continued. "I have a healing mission for you in the Land of Waves. It will take approximately two weeks, and you should be ready to set out at dawn."

That was enough to make me blink fully awake.

"So you've decided to proceed?" Konan asked.

"Yes," said Nagato. He was on pushup 387 of 500 and wasn't showing any signs of slowing down. "If the intelligence he provides is accurate, it may be our best chance. Konan, you will accompany them."

Konan nodded and resumed stroking my hair. I looked back and forth between them.

"Is someone else coming along?" I asked.

Please don't be Obito.

Thankfully, it wasn't.

Unfortunately, it was someone almost as bad. Or rather, a pair of someones.

"That's the healer?" Hidan asked the next morning as we prepared to set out. For the journey I'd been given my very own tiny Akatsuki cloak and an equally undersized conical hat with paper streamers. It was a little strange to wear the cloak when I wasn't an official member of the organization, but since I was taking a mission on behalf of the Akatsuki, I supposed that I needed something to symbolize my association with them. Hidan bent forward to loom over me with his three-bladed scythe resting casually on his shoulder. "What are you, four?"

Okay, I did not look that young.

"I'm fifteen," I said tartly.

Hidan, Kakuzu, and Konan all stared at me.

"What?!" Hidan guffawed. "You've gotta be kidding me! A little brat like you? No way."

"My appearance is a side effect of my healing ninjutsu," I sighed, not particularly enthused about detailing my situation.

Konan was frowning in confusion. Wait, had Itachi never mentioned my real age to her? Surely she must have noticed that I hadn't gotten any older in the past two and a half years? And she'd never said anything?

"Hah, so you're not a kid; you're just a midget," said Hidan. "How many weirdos can one organization have?"

Oh, that probably explained it. Nobody talked about Kisame's fishy biology or Sasori's puppet body either. Or Deidara's mouth-hands or Hidan and Kakuzu's immortality now that I thought about it. Actually, Itachi and Konan were the only 'normal' ones in the Akatsuki. Nagato might also fit that description, but since he frequently piloted a set of robotic corpses, I considered him an honorary member of the Akatsuki's Weird Body Club.

"Stop wasting time," growled Kakuzu. "We have a tab to settle."

"Yeah, yeah, money, money, money," grumbled Hidan, straightening as we all followed Kakuzu out into the early morning light. "It's always about the money with you, isn't it? Hey, Midget, have you ever heard of the Way of Jashin? When you worship Jashin, you can kill as many people as you want!"

"I already kill as many people as I want," I said. "None."

"Seriously?" he asked, his face scrunched in confusion. "There's gotta be somebody you want to kill."

I wanted to say 'no', but I hesitated.

There was evil in this world. People like Orochimaru, Danzo, and Black Zetsu. They had killed many and would kill more. They were also personally responsible for much of the pain and suffering in my life and the lives of the people closest to me. Could I really say that I didn't want to kill them?

"No," I said softly. "There are those I want to stop from doing terrible things, but I don't want to kill anyone. If there's even a small chance of working things out so that everyone can live, I will do that instead."

Hidan's eyes narrowed.

"That sounds positively heretical," he said with a sharp, unfriendly grin. "It's pissing me off."

"That's enough," said Konan, her flat rebuke drawing Hidan's irritated gaze. He huffed and turned away as we continued on.

The fastest route to the Land of Waves involved cutting through the Land of Fire. We moved with stealth through the trees, avoiding towns and other ninja. Thankfully we encountered no one along the way. It felt a little odd to be hiding from my own village, but if they saw me with the Akatsuki, I'd be immediately branded as a missing ninja. Not to mention the fact that my current companions would kill any Konoha ninjas on sight.

No, I was perfectly happy to pass through the forest undetected. Though it wasn't an entirely quiet journey. Hidan pestered me constantly about converting to Jashinism, which I steadfastly refused. The very idea that someone might not want to kill people seemed completely foreign to him, but thankfully Konan was always there to keep the peace when his confusion bubbled over into irritation. Kakuzu also threatened to kill us all if we didn't shut up, but thankfully he never got as far as the actual killing.

It wasn't long before we reached the Great Naruto Bridge now decorated with festive banners for New Year. The sight of it made something ache in my chest. It felt so long ago, and yet the paint still looked fresh, the stone new and only slightly weathered from the salty air and crashing waves. As a gust of winter wind swept across the water, I almost thought that I would see Haku if only I turned around. But that was silly. He wasn't here. He and Karin were safe in Konoha.

The others did not seem to take heed of my hesitation, but their pace slowed as I rushed to catch up.

We met the client, a man named Hatou, in a quiet, well-kept mansion near the coast. He was short and wide with sandy brown hair and deep wrinkles along his frown-lines. There was something vaguely familiar about him, though I couldn't quite place his features. He had a small number of disreputable-looking retainers who eyed us with barely disguised contempt. At our arrival, Hatou raised his eyebrow.

"You expect me to believe that this is the genius medic?" he asked, disbelief written clearly across his face. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"The Akatsuki has always provided exemplary specialists for our missions," said Konan blandly. "She has more than enough skill for your needs."

"She can't be older than six," the man objected.

"I'm fifteen," I said, annoyed at my apparent age being brought up again. "If you will allow me to begin, I can perform the diagnosis and initiate treatment."

"Tch, for the information I'm providing, I expect only the best," he said. "If I'm not satisfied with your results, there will be consequences!"

It was posturing, probably. Surely even a civilian would know not to threaten the Akatsuki. He wasn't a lord that I recognized and he didn't wear any visible clan insignias. But money was its own kind of power, and it might lead him to think that he actually had some sway over S-ranked missing ninjas, no matter how foolish that thought sounded to me.

I bowed deeply.

"You will not be disappointed," I assured him.

It was a good thing that civilians were less sensitive to Killing Intent than ninjas or the man would be dead from Kakuzu's aura alone.

A quick diagnostic jutsu revealed that he was suffering from kidney disease, a severe case of gout, and some pre-cancerous spots on his skin. I provided the diagnosis, presented a treatment plan, and got to work.

I went slowly because I wanted to be extra thorough. Still, it only took about twenty minutes, and that was stretching it out for as long as reasonably possible. In that time, fifty eight new chakra signatures gathered in an adjoining room. There was something off about them, something sickly and toxic.

I glanced at Konan, who must have sensed them too, but she seemed unbothered.

"The procedure is complete," I said. "You are in excellent health."

"The only thing left to resolve is payment," said Kakuzu with a scowl. "The location of Orochimaru's most recent base."

That made me perk up.

"Hmph, well, that is dangerous information to provide," said Hatou as he stood up and retreated to the far side of the room. He gestured to one of his retainers, who opened a side door. Fifty eight men with weapons filtered into the room. So they were the source of the strange chakra. "Orochimaru-sama is not someone I would like to consider an enemy. You must understand."

I could only stare in disbelief at the implication. Wow. Sure, civilians didn't always fully understand the difference in strength between various shinobi, but did this man really think that Orochimaru was more dangerous than the three Akatsuki members standing right in front of him?

Judging by his smug smile, apparently yes.

"My brother Gatou was a fool, but he did know how to deal with shinobi," Hatou added. Huh, so that's why he looked familiar. "Or at least he did until the incident with Zabuza. I'm not one to make the same mistake. Orochimaru-sama was generous enough to provide me with some higher-quality bodyguards to deal with you."

The guards shuffled forward, and black marks began spreading over their faces as their chakra became even darker. Curse marks. They were not, I noticed, anywhere close to the power of Sasuke's curse mark. I doubted that they would even register as a threat to any of the Akatsuki.

"So, your betrayal was intentional," said Konan, still perfectly calm. "There was an…issue with the payment you provided to our associate for your last mission. We were willing to extend an opportunity to rectify your mistake, however…"

Kakuzu's bloodlust suddenly intensified. His arms split apart at the joints, and hundreds of black tendrils emerged from his limbs.

"We've decided to extract our own payment:…Your life," said Kakuzu.

Hatou spread his arms in a welcoming gesture.

"I'm sure you'll offer me an entertaining demonstration as you come to understand Orochimaru-sama's true power."

This man was delusional.

It was a delusion that didn't last very long. I kept my gaze turned to the ground, but I couldn't block out the screaming. Konan stood guard at my side, shielding me from the worst of it, though she needn't have bothered. I could still sense everything, from the agonized writhing of chakra before it was snuffed out to the way Kakuzu's strings slithered through the floor to snare hapless victims.

I tried to think of something, anything else. Maybe I could try hiding my chains in the floor the same way Kakuzu hid his strings. The Preta Path was only able to disrupt techniques it could touch, so if it couldn't touch my chains, I might be able to capture the other paths more easily. I focused on this train of thought with grim resolution as Hidan and Kakuzu finished off the rest of the guards. My eyes remained downward as Hidan joyfully extracted the information on Orochimaru from Hatou. According to Hatou, Orochimaru had been using him as a smuggler for illicit experiments and the most recent base was on the southern tip of the island.

"Man, what a waste of time," said Hidan when his ritual was complete. "Why bother healing him if we were just gonna kill him anyway? Might as well just skip to the fun part next time."

"I agree," said Kakuzu, nudging Hatou's mutilated corpse with his foot, turning the body to reveal a face frozen in the agony of a slow death. "What was the leader thinking, giving this one a second chance?"

"We should move onto Orochimaru's base immediately," said Konan, ignoring the question. "If they were working together, Orochimaru must know that we're coming. We don't have much time."

Wait, really?

"You're going after him now?" I asked.

Konan turned to me.

"Is that a problem?" she asked.

Well…kinda. On the one hand, I didn't exactly want to get caught in a battle between the Akatsuki and Orochimaru. On the other hand…if Orochimaru was on the island, then so was Sasuke. If Konan and the others ran into Sasuke, he'd fight them for information on my whereabouts. That wouldn't end well for him. At best, they might leave him alive because of Obito's command, but Hidan and Kakuzu were both psychotic murderers who didn't let petty things like orders get between them and killing people.

I gripped the space-time suppression manacle on my wrist. It would be easy enough to break, and if I had access to my Hiraishin, I could spirit Sasuke away to safety. But if I did so, I'd have to be ready to abandon the Akatsuki and Itachi. It would mean being hunted down by Obito, but if I had to choose between that and Sasuke's death, I'd take being hunted.

"No…it's not a problem," I muttered.

Konan regarded me for a long moment before kneeling down and unclasping the manacle.

"Orochimaru is an unpredictable foe," she said. "If things get dangerous, you have my permission to teleport somewhere safe."

Wow, that was a lot of trust. But this would hardly be the first time they'd put their faith in my obedience. I nodded, and we set out to the location indicated by Hatou. We arrived just after dawn. Konan sent out paper angels to map the area, and Kakuzu led the way into Orochimaru's base. I did not particularly want to pay attention to what was happening, but I had to keep my senses on the lookout for Sasuke's chakra.

We didn't encounter quite as much resistance as I'd feared. There were a few guards which were easily dispatched by Kakuzu, but that was all. They were low-level fighters, likely staff, prisoners, or experiments. None even had the curse mark. We swept through the entire base finding no sign of Orochimaru or Sasuke, and I…wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Well, there was one small sign of hope. In one of the long tunnels of unadorned apartments, I paused. Konan continued a few steps before halting. There was something familiar here. I rested my hand on the door and pushed it open.

Yes, it felt like him.

Looking around, there was nothing in the room to indicate that it was his. There were no personal affects or markings on any surface. But his chakra was still here, embedded into the floor and mattress. I could even feel it in the air. In time it would fade, but for a moment, just a moment, I sat on his bed, closed my eyes, and allowed myself a moment to feel.

"This was Nii-chan's room," I said quietly. "He hasn't slept here for at least three days."

It was so faint. I'd only felt his chakra because I'd been searching for it.

"He's gone then," said Konan, frowning in clear disappointment. "I do not sense Orochimaru either. It seems that we're too late."

I nodded, both relieved and…not. I shook my head. No, it was better this way. I would see Sasuke again soon. But not now. And there was one thing I could do while I was here.

"Do you mind if I look around a bit?" I asked. "Orochimaru might have left behind research that I can use to help others."

Specifically, he might have left behind something related to the curse mark. Hatou's guards were proof that some type of curse-mark experiments were going on here, and anything that might help Sasuke was worth looking into. It was unlikely that Orochimaru would leave anything valuable behind. But if he'd left in haste, then maybe, just maybe, there might be something I could use.

Konan agreed, and it didn't take long to locate Orochimaru's lab. It was a grotesque den of horrors. There were bodies hanging from the walls, and only most of them were dead. Konan paced around the room, and each of the remaining chakras vanished as she passed. It was a mercy considering the state Orochimaru had left them in, but I did not look at her work. Instead I focused on the shelves upon shelves of books. Most were laboratory notebooks with raw data. They were messy and incomplete as almost all lab notebooks were. It was Konan who located the most valuable information in a small chakra-sealed storage container behind a discreet hidden door.

"A curse seal," she said, brushing an index finger over the expanded version of the curse mark diagram in the notebook. The actual seal went on for over twenty pages.

"And these are…oh," I said, skimming another notebook detailing various experiments including Edo Tensei and Hashirama cells. Yes, and there was also a vat of cells with various preservation seals. Orochimaru must have taken some from Konoha before leaving and was using them to strengthen the binding of the Edo Tensei jutsu.

"We cannot linger here," said Konan. "Take whatever you need and examine it later."

I nodded, putting the notebooks safely in my bag and tucking the jar of Hashirama cells under my arm.

"Okay, now we can go."

Upon our arrival in Ame, I tried to return the tiny Akatsuki cloak, but Konan insisted that I keep it. She also did not return the space-time suppression manacle to my wrist. Odd…Perhaps it was a test, or maybe they really did trust me now. Either way, I wasn't about to object. It would make things easier for me if I ever needed to flee.

But for now I had work to do. The Akatsuki base possessed several fairly well outfitted labs mostly thanks to Orochimaru's brief tenure in the organization. Until now I'd avoided them for their grisly associations, but with my newly acquired notes, I set to work parsing out the secrets of Hashirama's natural healing ability.

It wasn't easy. Notes were just that: notes. This wasn't a book or even a well documented research paper. There were bits missing, unintuitive leaps in logic and understanding that probably made perfect sense to Orochimaru but which left me scratching my head in confusion. Still, with time and a squad of shadow clones bouncing ideas off of each other, I slowly began to piece together a picture of what he'd been working on.

"It's pretty gruesome, but the information is amazing," I said to Nagato as we ate breakfast. This was our first shared meal in several days. Itachi was also in the village and he too had been busy, not even returning to our room for sleep. "If I can get it working, I can do so much like heal blindness and regrow limbs. It might even be a permanent cure for…certain chronic illnesses."

I didn't want to make any guarantees, but the research was promising.

"That would be convenient timing," said Konan. "Deidara and Sasori will return soon, and Deidara requires healing."

I nodded, curious about what sort of injury someone like Deidara could have sustained. I'd never met him in person, but it was pretty rare for an S-rank ninja to require medical care.

"Well, I'm not ready for human trials yet," I admitted. "Theory can only take me so far. Orochimaru wasn't interested in healing other people, so there's a lot of conjecture at this point. I've done limited animal testing, and I've seen some amazing results. All the research I've read and done so far supports it, but, well…"

I shrugged.

I wouldn't know until I tried.

Nagato frowned.

"I would like you to continue to the next stage as soon as possible," he said. I was sure he would. Nagato was well aware of the fact that my presence here was temporary and his illness was not. Clinical trials could take years, and Itachi's three year deadline was only six months away. "Until then, Deidara's severed arms should only require a simple re-attachment surgery for you."

That nearly made me drop my fork.

"Wait, his arms were torn off?" I asked, eyes wide with horror.

No. No, it couldn't be.

Konan frowned at me.

"Is there a problem?" Konan asked. "You've reattached severed limbs many times in the hospital."

Yeah, but...

"Wh-what was he doing that he was injured so badly?" I asked, my mouth suddenly dry.

Of course. It had to be. It was the right time. But somehow I'd expected…

"He was injured while capturing the One Tails jinchuuriki," said Konan, confirming my fears.

I'd expected to know, like how I'd known the day Shisui would die and the day Itachi would massacre the clan. But I hadn't known. I was holed up in my lab working on my experiments. I hadn't thought anything of Konan, Pein, and Itachi being busy for several days. They'd been sealing Shukaku and killing Gaara.

But this was expected, right?

Except…

Konan had said that Deidara and Sasori would return. But Sasori was supposed to die in his fight with Chiyo and Sakura…

Sakura.

Sakura wasn't a member of Team 7. Sure, she'd joined the genin corp, but would a random genin be assigned to a rescue mission with Naruto and Kakashi? No, of course not. And if Sakura wasn't there, then Kankuro and Chiyo would die from Sasori's poisons. And that was if Chiyo survived the fight with Sasori at all. If she hadn't fought alongside Sakura, if she'd attempted to kill her grandson alone, what chance would she have?

And if Chiyo was dead, she couldn't revive Gaara.

"Gaara, the jinchuuriki, is he…?" I began, unable to finish the sentence as dread filled the pit of my stomach.

Konan and Nagato regarded me with carefully neutral expressions.

"Was he a friend of yours?" Nagato asked.

'Was'.

That was all the confirmation I needed.

"No," I said. What was I going to do? "I only met him once."

Gaara was meant to be a vital part of the Shinobi Alliance.

"We were enemies."

Without him, what would happen to Suna?

"At the time, he was filled with anger and wanted to destroy Konoha."

What would happen to the Alliance?

"I had to fight him, though I didn't want to."

Gaara was supposed to protect so many people during the war.

"When the fight was over, I came to realize that he wasn't so scary."

But now he was dead.

"He was hurting."

I wasn't Sakura.

"All he needed was someone to listen and understand how he felt."

I wasn't there to help.

"Then he didn't want to fight anymore."

I was here with the Akatsuki.

"I hoped that one day he would…"

Gaara was dead.

"...that he would…"

...And it was all my fault.

There was a moment of silence, and Konan stared at me. I felt the warm wetness on my cheek and swept away the tears.

"Kiyo-chan?" Konan asked softly.

I stood abruptly.

"Please excuse me," I said.

I fled.

"No."

I winced, the flatness of Itachi's rejection banishing what little hope I'd summoned.

"But the seal will stop the transformation if it causes extensive cellular deterioration," I reasoned, holding up the book with the seal instructions. "And preliminary tests on my tissue samples have been promising. The worst case scenario still only results in localized–"

"The worst case scenario is death," said Itachi, barely glancing at it. "It is an unacceptable risk. You cannot inject Hashirama cells into your own body."

Well, I could, but I wanted someone there to supervise, and I'd thought that if I framed it well, Itachi might agree. The prospect of a non-deteriorating Mangekyo Sharingan should have appealed to him.

Apparently not.

"Onii-chan, I can only slow the deterioration of your eyes, not heal them completely," I said. "If I can stabilize the Hashirama cells in my own body, then I can use them to heal you. It's worth the risk."

"There is more at stake here than your own life," he said.

I grimaced because he was right. If something happened to me, who would heal the wounded in the hospital? And Itachi still required frequent healing to keep his condition in check. However…

"If you're no longer useful to the Akatsuki, what will happen to me?" I countered. "If you want to protect me, then let me heal you."

In the worst-case scenario, I could always escape back to Konoha. But Itachi had nowhere to go.

"Even if I am no longer of use, no one in the Akatsuki will harm you," said Itachi. "Leader-sama has grown very fond of you during your time here. He is not the only one."

I blinked at that.

"What?" I asked. "Are you sure? I mean, he's been looking after me, but if he actually cared about me, he would…"

I trailed off and frowned.

He would…what?

He couldn't exactly send me home. Not while he was under Obito's command and not with Itachi watching over me. So if he couldn't send me away, what would he do?

Train me? Make me strong? Give me the knowledge and experience I would need against a much more powerful opponent? I hadn't questioned Nagato's desire to teach me. I'd been content enough that he was willing to provide the training I needed. But in hindsight, that indifference felt foolish.

And now that I thought about it, was I really sure that Nagato hadn't tried to send me home? He'd sent me on a mission to heal Hatou, the brother of Gatou, a man famous for betraying missing ninjas to their deaths. In fact Hatou had already betrayed the Akatsuki once. There was no reason to give him the benefit of the doubt. As Hidan had pointed out, why not simply take the information on Orochimaru and kill him? Besides that, surely Zetsu would know that Hatou and Orochimaru were working together. Nagato had to realize that Orochimaru would know about the attack.

So what if the mission wasn't about retaining a wealthy client? Or even about Orochimaru?

What if the mission was a perfect cover for getting me away from Ame, away from Nagato and Itachi and Obito? Hatou would obviously tell Orochimaru about the attack, and in doing so, it would act as the perfect lure for the one person I would give anything to protect.

Sasuke.

If Sasuke knew that I would be there, he would stop at nothing to get me back. He would attack the Akatsuki, and if I didn't step in to save him, he would surely die. So of course I would step in. I'd save him, and in doing so, I would have to flee back to Konoha, where we would be protected by our village and our Kage.

Konan had even taken off the space-time suppression manacle and told me to run away if things become dangerous.

Nagato could then blame Itachi for not keeping me in line as promised. He probably didn't think that I was worth 'Madara's' personal attention, and even Itachi couldn't defeat an entire hidden village at once.

It was almost crazy enough to work.

Almost.

Because Sasuke hadn't shown up to save me.

I didn't think that he'd stayed away on purpose. Sasuke was a cunning fighter, but he was also nearly suicidally reckless when it came to me. Orochimaru must have realized this too and had sent him away several days before our arrival. Orochimaru had probably been hoping for a chance to capture me, but had likely abandoned that plan when he saw Konan. Not even Orochimaru would pick a fight with Pein, and his obvious absence from our group must have looked like a trap. Sasuke likely never even knew I was there. I never thought the day would come when I was indebted to Orochimaru of all people, but his foresight had saved both of us.

But even so, it almost worked.

That was the scary part. I hadn't understood Nagato's intentions at all, and I'd almost fallen into his well-meaning trap. Because I was worth 'Madara's' attention. If I had escaped with Sasuke, Obito would absolutely hunt us down. I knew secrets he wanted to keep. And Sasuke was the weapon Obito wanted to control.

How could I be so blind?

I shuddered, and Itachi placed his hand on my head.

"This could complicate our departure," I said, looking up at him. "If they want me to live, they won't let you take me to my death."

Huh, maybe that was why Konan wanted me to continue wearing the Akatsuki cloak. Was it a message? She's one of us now?

"Leader-sama has not strayed from his path," said Itachi. "While he would spare you if he could, he will not allow his ambitions to be thwarted by sentimentality."

Yeah, that made sense. If he'd truly changed his mind on his path to peace, he wouldn't be hunting jinchuurikis. So he still wanted to take over the world, but he also wanted me to live. It was just his misfortune that those two goals were directly opposed to one another. If he wanted to capture the tailed beasts, he needed Obito and Itachi. And to keep Obito and Itachi, he had to let Itachi kill me.

Or so he thought.

There was a sad bit of irony in that the lies meant to keep me safe were the very things putting me in danger.

I took a deep breath before letting it out slowly.

"Even so, I'm still worried about you," I said.

"A shinobi must use the tools he is given," he said. "My eyes will last long enough for Sasuke to reclaim you. That is all that matters."

So he was still planning to die by Sasuke's hand. I shouldn't be surprised. I hadn't done anything to convince him otherwise.

"Onii-chan–," I said.

"You'll be alright," said Itachi.

As if that was the problem.

"I want you to be alright," I said.

Itachi looked away, a shadow of guilt passing across his face.

"I'm sorry," he said.

He stood to go, and I kept my head down until he was gone.

It was true that the experiment was reckless.

However…

I thought of Sasuke.

He didn't have Naruto's regenerative healing abilities, and yet he would face a resurrected Madara and then a resurrected goddess. He was strong, yes, but he was still only human. Besides that, if I was able to stop Sasuke from killing Itachi, then he wouldn't even have the Mangekyo Sharingan for the final battle. Without that, what hope did he have?

Not much.

I carefully picked up the syringe of Hashirama cells. The fate of the world was balanced on the edge of a knife, and failure meant the complete annihilation of all life on the planet. I'd failed to save Gaara, but I couldn't fail to save Sasuke and Itachi.

I couldn't.

I stared at the syringe of Hashirama cells and took a long, slow breath.

This was for them.

I took the needle in one hand and drove it into my arm.

The reaction was immediate.

I was aware of the pain.

I was aware of only the pain.

It raked jagged nails down every inch of my skin, diving deep, cutting, burning, freezing everything inside me. It cocooned my body, my mind, and my soul until all else faded into nothing. I couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. I merely existed in a state of unbearable agony that went on and on and on. I think I might have been screaming, but I couldn't hear anything beyond the roar of white noise, couldn't see beyond the white light of agony.

And then there was red. Sharingan red. It pierced the blinding white, drawing me back, pulling me into the gray of numbness and finally into the black nothingness of sleep.

AN: Hi, All! I'm back. Summer turned out even busier than I'd expected, but I've returned and am hoping to get to the end of the Akatsuki arc before I go on break again. This chapter was particularly difficult and had to go through several re-writes. It was originally supposed to include Sasori and Deidara during the reveal of Gaara's death, however their somewhat goofy personalities clashed with the tone I was aiming for and no amount of reworking could make the scene function properly. So, I sadly had to cut it out, though now I'm planning to bring them back later for a different cameo instead.

Since I don't want all that work to go completely to waste, here is a sample portion of their original scene (that is now sadly not canon):

...

"Are you the one working on these cell cultures?" Sasori asked.

"Yes, they're for side project," I said, approaching the bench and moving them out of the way. Sasori was clearly working on his own concoction, mixing various vials to synthesize something over an open flame. It was producing purple fumes, and it wasn't in the fume hood, so I hoped it wasn't toxic.

"The tongs you just used have trace amounts of contact poison from my work," Sasori said, giving me a sideways glance before returning to his potion. "This particular poison can kill in thirty minutes."

Huh?

I ran a diagnostic scan and realized that, yes, there was indeed a foreign poison working through my bloodstream. Not much. It was likely stray flecks from a reaction rather than something placed deliberately, but still…he hadn't mentioned it until after I'd been exposed.

"Don't worry," said Sasori. "First the poison will paralyze you. Then your breathing will become labored. And finally your heart will stop. I'll be finished with this poison before the end, though, and I'll administer the antidote before it kills you."

Yeah, I could already see it damaging nerve endings. I had no desire to see what it would do if it reached my heart.

"Thank you, Sasori-san, but that won't be necessary," I said, reaching over to plant a Hiraishin seal on the base of a flask. I filled the flask with saline solution and teleported out the offending poison before flushing the area with healing chakra. I flexed my fingers to rid them of the slight buzzing feeling of healed nerve endings. "There, all better."

Sasori turned to regard me fully for the first time.

"I suppose you're not completely hopeless," he conceded.

"Hey, un," said Deidara, a spark of cruel mischief playing in his visible eye as he leaned forward, deliberately inserting himself between me and Sasori. "You look like the type of girl who can appreciate art."

"What type of art?" I asked. His grin widened, and he reached into his bag. He pulled out a small chunk of clay, molding it with his mouth-hands and chakra. Judging by the amount of chakra he was using, the bomb would be a tiny one, enough to do damage, but probably not lethal. After a moment of work, he produced a little bird.

"Oh, it's so pretty," I said, my eyes widening. I gave him my brightest smile to hide my nerves. "Now make a cat, please. Cats are adorable."

This was a lab filled with delicate equipment, life-saving medicine, and lethal poisons. I did not want to see a demonstration of his explosive 'art' anywhere near all of it. So, it would be safest to keep him distracted with harmless requests.

Deidara snorted at the inane comment and rolled his eye. Then he reshaped the bird into a cat. "Okay, now add a ribbon and a tiny tiara."

To my amusement, Deidara complied.

"Her name is Neko-hime," I declared, now running low on ideas for stalling.

"Sure, Uchiha-chan," said Deidara, holding out the adorable little bomb with a grin. "Here. Don't you want to hold her?"

"What if I squash her?" I said, raising my hands up so that he couldn't drop the cat-bomb into them. "I don't want to ruin your art. You should keep it safe."

Deidara scoffed, mortally offended.

"Art isn't meant to be kept," he said.

"Bastard, art is eternal," said Sasori from behind him.

"Art is in the moment," Deidara disagreed. "Ne, what do you think Uchiha-chan?"

"Ah, both?" I said, not particularly wanting to get caught in an argument between bombs and poison. "It's…um, it's like when I play my shamisen. The music can be written down and passed through generations, but every time a musician plays, the music is a tiny bit different. So, um, it can be eternal and a momentary experience all at once…"

"You're a musician?" Sasori asked. "I suppose there is something of art in that."

"No way, un!" Deidara disagreed. His mischievous look returned. Suddenly the clay cat leaped from his hand, growing to full size as it bounced a safe distance away. "Art is an explosion!"

Boom!

And that was the sad end of Neko-hime. It was also the end of my spectrometer, which had been reduced to a smoldering pile of rubble. Deidara smirked, but his fun was cut short by the arrival of Konan, who swept into the room in a flurry of paper.

"What," she said flatly, "is going on here?"

"I was demonstrating my art to Uchiha-chan," said Deidara with a self-satisfied grin.

Konan turned slowly to stare at the smoking debris in one corner of the lab before she turned to me.

I gave her a helpless look.

"I'm going to need a new spectrometer," I said.

...