TW for suicidal ideation and blatant manipulation.

xXx

I picked my way around my hill, easily finding the pathway that had become so familiar to me. The black obsidian grew more sand-like closer to the river. The farther away I walked, the more dirt-like it became, worn down from boulders over time. The land remained barren for as far as the eye could see, and I had noticed volcanoes in the distance spewing who knew what into the air when the smoke and ash didn't prevent distance viewing.

Honestly, with as active as they were, I wondered why the air remained as clear as it did as often as it did. Obviously there were hazy days that made breathing even more difficult than usual, but Tartarus did have changing weather. It wasn't like storms hadn't come (they had, and I avoided being out in them as much as I possibly could), but sometimes, even as dim as the light tended to be, I could see for miles in any direction, at least until the darkness of the whole place swallowed it up. Then again, I swore I could see the red-clouds absorbing the ash sometimes. Maybe that was what they fed on? I wouldn't put it past Tartarus to have ash-eating clouds like that.

Thankfully, the storms that had come through my area hadn't had much in the way of rain and especially not since I'd created my saltwater pool. I dreaded the day I came to the pool and found it full of acid or something. Those few storms that had come through, well, I'd had a difficult time controlling whatever it was that fell outside my cave.

It was all so strange. I couldn't help but wonder if Tartarus just worked on some completely different physics or something. That made as much sense as anything else when it came to Primordials, especially Tartarus himself.

Either way, today I only observed what I could of the land for a while before continuing on. It had been almost two years since I'd been thrown down here, and I'd been able to finally make a… well, not a home, but it wasn't quite enough to be a base either. A decent campsite maybe? Still, it was mine, I supposed, and relatively safe, which said a lot down here.

I still couldn't help but smile when I saw my goal come into view around the side of some boulders. I didn't even bother taking my clothes off as I took a running leap and jumped into the decently-sized pool I'd managed to create and swam down to the bottom with a relieved sigh. Honestly, my pool had become my little sanctuary. It wasn't nearly as cool or as open as the ocean, but it was a little piece of home in this awful place. While underwater, I had no problems breathing, despite how murky the water could get sometimes, and it was infinitely cooler when compared to the oppressive heat of Tartarus. I'd honestly begun to consider moving my home base to the pool, just sitting happily at the bottom, not having to worry about the air or the blisters on my skin or any of my scent getting past the necklace.

But I was also a bit of a sitting duck down there and while I could use hydrokinesis to protect myself, I ultimately just felt too… exposed. Still, not having to breathe that toxic air just gave my lungs a break and I found it harder and harder to get out of the water as time went on.

I just wanted to go home.

But I tried not to think about that.

(I failed more often than not.)

I knew I was losing time to the water, though. Sometimes I didn't even look at my watch when I finally left, too worried about how long I'd spent there. But after doing whatever task I'd set for myself that day, I would often go to bed hours after I'd intended, not because I'd worked more but because that was how much later I'd started. I knew that one day it would come back to bite me, but until then, my pool was the closest thing I had to home.

The time of butt biting I'd been dreading came that day when I finally managed to convince myself to get out of the water. With a sigh, I braced myself to feel the typical pain that came with breathing the air of Tartarus and swam to the surface only to come face to face with large, black boots that matched a set of Stygian armor. That seemed to be a fashion trend down here.

I recognized the figure sitting on a boulder, watching my pool with interest in his cold eyes.

Koios.

"Percy Jackson?" the Titan asked. I stayed in the water, glaring at the other being, ready to attack if necessary. The water around me churned in agitation.

I didn't answer.

"Interesting. I don't smell you at all. No wonder you're so difficult to find."

Well, it was nice to know that finding me wasn't easy.

The Titan lifted one eyebrow, causing the scars on his otherwise handsome face to stretch. "I am Koios… but you knew that already, didn't you."

He didn't say it like a question, so once again, I didn't answer, keeping the bottom half of my face under water and merely watching the ten-foot-tall figure. His short, blue and white hair rustled in the slight wind that blew by every now and then. It wasn't as short as I remembered and I wondered if Titans and giants had to worry about haircuts too or if it was an appearance thing they could control…

But then why did he choose to look like a wannabe Cruella de Vil? I approved of the color choice though.

"Interesting," Koios said again, his voice surprisingly smooth. Then he just sat back, rubbing his beard thoughtfully. I didn't know how long we just sat there in silence, but it had to be several minutes before I finally got annoyed enough to lift my head out of the water.

"What do you want?"

The being snorted. "A little rude, aren't you?"

I snorted right back. "It's more rude to kill innocent people. Doesn't stop you."

The being just smiled (it always freaked me out as to how much that reminded me of Apollo). "Innocent people like you?" he asked.

Instead of answering, I just shrugged and tried to look nonchalant, ignoring how his comment sent a jolt of anger through me. The Titan seemed more amused by that than anything, and he apparently decided to answer my question.

"I came to see the one supposedly destined to overthrow the gods."

I took a deep breath and hoped he didn't notice. How did he know that? Did all the Titans know that? What about the giants? Tartarus… Gaea (or what was left of her)…?

"It's not me," I finally responded. "Whoever it is, they're supposed to… go to war or whatever at their majority. Mine was… a while ago." I tried very hard not to feel bitter about that. It didn't work.

Koios rolled his eyes. "Which majority, though? There's the human coming of age, of course, but there are dozens—hundreds—of other majorities to choose from as well. Why do you think you're still down here?" He paused thoughtfully, "Not that the gods are likely to remember you anyway, but still."

He… wasn't wrong. And I hated it.

"Besides," the large being went on, "that could also mean you just start to plan what you will do around your majority, or the inciting incident that causes you to want to overthrow them happens at your majority… prophecies are such interesting little puzzles, aren't they?"

I ducked back in the water, wanting the feel of it closer to me, wishing I knew the actual words of the prophecy more than ever. But I couldn't prove them right. I couldn't overthrow the gods… no matter how much they may deserve it.

The Titan just watched me intently for several more seconds before shaking his head. "Have you ever heard the phrase, 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'?"

Not liking where this was going, I slowly nodded.

Koios shrugged. "If you're against the gods, I will fight with you. And I'm not the only one. Of those of us who have reformed, most of us would gladly take a chance to get back at our… traitorous children and grandchildren."

For several seconds, he let the offer hang and I could feel the heaviness in the atmosphere. I debated on how I should answer that. If I answered in the negative, Koios may attack… and I didn't know if I could kill or drive off the Titan in a one-on-one fight—not without any other help there. And yet… I couldn't bring myself to lead the other on, mainly because the idea of keeping up a facade just seemed like too much. So I decided to tell the truth.

"I have no plans to overthrow the gods," I denied softly.

Koios frowned. "Even after everything they did to you?"

"I have plans to get out of Tartarus, but after that, I don't want anything to do with the gods."

More blinking from the large being as if he was actually struggling to understand. Maybe he was. I didn't know. "Truly?"

I just nodded, never taking my eyes off of the very large, very powerful being in front of me.

Instead of getting angry as I expected he would, though, the Titan just looked disappointed (and that was kind of worse, even though I couldn't figure out why).

"I see. Pity." With that he rose to his feet. I tensed, but he just stretched and turned away. "Well, if you change your mind, call for me."

I blinked in shock and blurted out, "That's it?"

The Titan paused and turned to look at me over his shoulder. "Do you want to fight?"

I had to fight to not back away. "Well… no. Not really."

Koios tipped his head to one side, studying me even more intensely than before. His gaze was unnerving: two chips of burning, blue crystals that held no mercy.

"Huh," was all he said. Then he shrugged. "Tartarus said not to kill you, yet, so I won't."

That took me back. "What? Why not?"

"Because if we kill you now, you'll go back to the underworld. You haven't been truly condemned, after all."

I hated that my first thought was to get into a deadly fight or something. It would suck to die, but at least I wouldn't become a monster.

"If we kill you, and you die fighting in honorable conflict, you go to Elysium," Koios continued as if he'd read my thoughts. "We don't want that—you out of reach forever. Not when you could be such an asset going forward. Fortunately for us, if you kill yourself or let yourself die, you won't end up in Elysium and likely won't see anyone you knew in life ever again."*

I felt my hope begin to wither in my chest. The Fields of Asphodel or Tartarus… did it matter where I spent eternity if it wasn't with my friends and family? Besides, I didn't want to not be here when Annabeth came for me. I couldn't do that to her.

"I asked him why he didn't just turn you into one of us. He could, you know. As could I." That bright smile gained a cruel edge to it. "He gave me two reasons. One," he held up a finger, "this is unprecedented. It is so rare that mortal beings find their way down here that the process of slowly being consumed has never been truly observed before. It makes for a very interesting experiment. And two: It's more satisfying to watch you slowly fall. Eventually you will have to acknowledge it, and that will be… most entertaining." His grin widened. "It's difficult to find entertainment down here."

I grit my teeth, palms clenched under the water, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It was awful and cruel of them—not to mention horrifying that they had that kind of power too. I knew the gods could turn mortals into monsters. Athena had turned Medusa into a monster, right? Although in some myths she was born that way… still. If Zeus could do that, then why hadn't he? Or Ares even?

Unless they, too, wanted to see me mentally 'fall'. To go through as much pain as possible… Or perhaps Father had threatened them and this was yet another concession on their part?

Either way, I hated it.

"Although," Koios' voice broke through my thoughts, "if you agree to overthrow the gods, we could come to a compromise, I am sure. We could get you out of Tartarus."

I also hated to admit, even to myself, that I considered the offer. I really did.

But only for a moment.

Finally, I shook my head, glaring furiously. "I'm good," I said as nonchalantly as I could.

Koios seemed to find that terribly amusing. "Your choice. We'll be here when you change your mind."

'When'. Not 'if'.

After a few more seconds of tense silence, the large figure smiled one final time, then turned and lumbered off.

I watched him go for several minutes before I dived back under water. I needed a little more comfort time today.

xXx

It was the sameness day in and day out that really drove me to finally try and find Hermes' shrine and, if possible, Damasen's swamp. That and the fact that I had finally run out of nectar. I still had ambrosia—about a third of what I'd fallen in with—but I'd finished off the nectar after a fight that morning.

I was also getting too efficient with bones and using them to build than I was entirely comfortable with and I wanted actual wood to work with. So I got everything together in my backpack, filled the insulated canteen that had previously held nectar with water from the Phlegethon for when I broke away from it, and set off.

My plan was simple: follow the river until I found the Dark Lands. Once I spied that, I could follow the edge of it until I found the Hermes shrine and then I'd see if I felt like I could cross the Dark Lands or not. Honestly, it depended on what I found at the shrine and how difficult the trek there was.

I had actually considered setting up base there if I found it, but after some thought I decided against it. As much as it would be nice – wonderful, even – to send messages to camp and potentially get food back, it was also fairly exposed. Annabeth had commented that it had been well hidden, but if monsters did find it, there would be no warning. She wasn't wrong. And that only scratched the surface. I had a list I very much hated on why I shouldn't stay there.

First, I didn't remember there being a roof to keep me hidden from flying monsters or whatever passed for rain around here. Second, I didn't want to draw attention to the shrine. I could imagine one of the Titans or giants or even drakons watching and taking up residence nearby or constantly dropping by to attack if they managed to track me down. Third, I wouldn't be near enough to the Phlegethon. The shrine had been fairly close to the river, but not close enough for my liking. Separating myself from the one thing that seemed to be keeping me alive down here didn't strike me as the wisest thing.

But despite all of that, I wanted to (needed to) go there. Desperately.

Maybe if I could get a message through, I could finally get some decent food. I would probably cry again if someone just sent a pizza.

Oh… pizza.

I'd even take a turkey sandwich at this point. Not that I didn't like turkey sandwiches, but they'd never been my favorite either. It would still be heavenly as compared to what I normally ate. Or mush. I'd take mush. Or… well, anything that wasn't salted monster meat. Annabeth, in the couple of dreams we'd shared, was positive the only reason I hadn't gotten scurvy yet was because of a combination of the Phlegethon's water and the godly food I'd brought.

Honestly, the thought of real food was just as much of a driving force for me to head off to find Hermes' shrine as it was for me to find actual wood to work with. The berries would just be a bonus if they weren't poisonous.

Annabeth had been poking at me to head to the shrine through Apollo's scroll for a little while now. She couldn't stop talking about how much she wanted to hear from me outside, and I could also ask for other things, like paper. Maybe some pencils. Just because it wasn't food didn't mean it couldn't be sent, as the papers and messages we'd burned before had proved.

If I hadn't felt so tied to the river, I may have left sooner. As it was, I had no idea how long it would take to find the shrine, let alone Damasen's home. I'd been… well, not in my right mind the first time, as I'd been recovering from my encounter with the arai, and before that I'd been following Bob more than actually paying attention to the landscape. I really hoped I could find the right place, but honestly had to face the reality that I may not be able to.

I also really hoped I didn't run into any arai while down here. I honestly didn't know what I'd do then. Would they listen to Tartarus and not attack me? I doubted it.

Shaking the thought from my head, I looked down the river, took a deep breath and began my trek.

xXx

I'd forgotten a couple of things about Tartarus, even after living down there for the last two years. First was just how bleak the entire place was. Without my daily dip in my saltwater pool, I'd begun to realize just how much I had come to rely on it, or how healing it had been, not so much physically as mentally. After my first day of traveling and my first night without touching my saltwater pool, the heaviness of Tartarus' atmosphere and its effect on my mind began to creep back in. I hadn't even noticed how much lighter I'd felt until that lightness began to ebb away. Had I just dealt with it before I'd summoned the seawater? No wonder things had seemed so much easier lately…

The second thing I'd forgotten were the exploding monster-puss-bubbles. I didn't get many of those near where I lived, too far on the outskirts of Tartarus or something, I guessed. I came across far more of those the more I traveled and I wished it had been something I didn't have to see again. They always had been disgusting, and that wasn't even taking into account the fact that they were regenerating monsters.

The first couple I saw, I destroyed, but then I realized it was too much trouble. Most of them I just didn't want to deal with. They were monsters, sure, but unless I came across something really bad, I mostly just left them alone. It wasn't like they would track me down once they… popped, I supposed was the right word. Allowing me to not smell like a prime buffet at lunch was undoubtedly the best gift the gods had given me before throwing me down here. (I'd still prefer for them to not have done that, but credit where credit was due.)

I'd decided to travel in four-hour stints before breaking for breakfast (meat), lunch (more meat), and dinner (oh, look, meat). Then I would train by working on the few forms for both swordplay and hand-to-hand that I knew, drink the Phlegethon and head off to bed in the nearest decently protected nook I could find. It had been getting to where I could sleep the entire night without waking from painful coughing (although that didn't help the nightmares). No, that waited until 'morning' now. I definitely saw it as an improvement… but I also feared it a little. Was that just more proof I was turning into a monster?

Yeah… stop thinking about that, Percy, I told myself.

So I tried to focus on my surroundings, stopping every now and then so I could pull out Nico's book and Riptide and drawing a map. I doubted I did a very good job—on either focusing or the map—and got the sense, again, that the land moved kind of randomly anyway. Knowing what I knew about Tartarus, I couldn't say I was surprised, and I did remember having a similar sense when I'd been here before with Annabeth. Still, I tried to put it all down on paper. At least that would give me (and anyone who got stuck down here after me if I could get the maps back to the surface) some idea of where I was going and where I'd been.

Meanwhile, I searched for the wall of darkness marking the entrance to the Dark Lands. I wasn't entirely sure I could see it immediately as everything looked dark from a distance, but I also remembered how much deeper that darkness had seemed, and was positive I'd be able to find it if I got close enough. I wasn't looking forward to trying to navigate through there, to be honest. I didn't remember much of the darkness, except that the temperature had been inconsistent at best and it had been full of crags and crevices.

That was also where we'd run into the Arai the first time. Not something I wanted to repeat. And I really wasn't sure exactly where Damasen's swamp was in relation to the shrine, except 'on the other side'… Maybe I could just skirt around the Dark Lands until I found where said swamp might be? Too bad I couldn't float above it all… Or could I? Not that I really wanted to spend any time in those red clouds dodging the rare red lightning or the ash that had to be there too, but I also had to concede that it would still be better to fly over the darkness if I could. I had this foreboding sense that if I went into the darkness without a guide, I wouldn't come back out again. Not any time soon in any case.

But going over… I might be able to do something with that. Maybe once I settled down for the 'night' I'd go through Nico's (or Hades'?) section of their book about making the most of one's demigod powers. My main abilities dealt with hydrokinesis. I was positive I wasn't utilizing my abilities to their fullest extent. On the surface, it hadn't mattered quite so much, but down here, I'd need every chance I could.

(I purposefully did not think about what I did to the drakon and Ahklys, because if that was my next level, I'd stay right where I was unless I absolutely had to 'move up'.)

It was both fortunate and unfortunate that I continued to run into monsters. I wasn't sure all of them had names—or if they'd even ever seen the surface—and tended to just destroy anything that came after me with extreme prejudice. More often than not, I ran into hellhounds (which made me miss Mrs. O' Leary), but I'd slain my fair portion of just about everything else next to dragons, drakons, Titans and Giants. I hoped I'd run into one of the pigs or their offspring, like the Sow I'd fought in Manhattan. I'd seen quite a few flying pigs down here, and they were most definitely my favorite to eat. None of them had had the speed or strength of that original pig though. I wasn't looking forward to that rematch. And yeah, I was positive that there would eventually be a rematch. That was just my luck.

It had been a while since I'd come across one of the pigs, though, despite the fact that I ran into monsters multiple times a day. So I had to settle with eating the other non-humanesque monsters I found. Some of my fights had been difficult, but for the most part, I hardly had to think through it all when something attacked me these days.

I'd run out of food the night before, so for lunch, I wanted to go hunting. At first I used myself as bait, sitting on the river bank for quite a while, waiting for something to attack me. When nothing did, I glanced down at my necklace and contemplated for several seconds. Finally deciding it would be worth it, I took a deep breath, and then slipped the rope-chain over my head and into a pocket on my backpack. Just until something came along. Then I continued down the river.

Fifteen minutes later, and a large (seven or eight) group of hellhounds ambushed me. I tore through them as best I could, ducking and dodging, jumping and slashing, using the water from the Phlegethon to help me. I only declared one body left behind for meat, and then lost myself to the battle.

I didn't finish unscathed, but I did win. In the end, I stood alone on the banks of the river surrounded by gold dust and one body. I hated the idea of eating, again, it just looked too much like Mrs. O' Leary, but food was food and I needed my strength. So I pushed those thoughts aside (again), finished cleaning up, grabbed my necklace and slipped it on again, then got to dressing the body. I'd gotten good at that (better than I'd like to be) and within forty five minutes, I had most of what I would find useful and could carry with me. I used Demeter's spade to bury what was left, and one of the skins of a monster I'd defeated before to carry the meat over my shoulder. Now I just needed somewhere I could cook it.

That was, of course, when I ran into the group of giants. Not 20-foot-tall, must be killed by a god and a demigod working together Giants, but Laistrygonian giants.

At least half a dozen.

They had been shuffling along around a bend in the river looking upset and depressed. And silent. Since when were Laistrygonian giants ever quiet?!

They took one look at me, you know, the demigod who had been concentrating on trying to walk across the Phlegethon when I'd run out of bank to walk on (the stone had come right up to the water), so I'd tried my luck at walking across the fire river. It had been difficult, but it had worked. It had also been distracting as I hadn't noticed the seven or so giants until I had hopped off and onto the river bank on the other side of the natural barrier.

Fortunately, said giants looked about as surprised as I felt. Then, finally, one of them pointed at me and yelled gleefully: "I told you I smelled a demigod!"

I promptly dropped my bag of meat and reached for Riptide and the water at once.

Fighting four or five empousai or even a dozen hellhounds was a completely different experience to fighting more than half-a-dozen giants. They averaged eight feet tall, and while they weren't the brightest candles on the cake, they weren't mindless beasts either. It wasn't terribly difficult to think around their simple strategies, so I'd managed to take out three of them before one got a really good hit in. But then, with a sickening snap, I felt my arm break and screamed. It wasn't the first time I'd broken an arm in a fight, but that only made me realize just how badly my chances had plummeted. I still managed to roll out of the way of the next blow coming my way and booked it away from the fighting giants towards the river.

They seemed confused for a moment before they followed with a bellow. They would have caught up had we not already been so close to the river. Focusing on the fiery liquid, I thought back to what I'd just done, and made the surface pressure as hard and steady as I could as I ran out onto it. Thankfully, it worked.

Once I was far enough out, I stopped, turning around to face the giants. Baffled and confused, they stood on the banks of the river, glancing down at where it licked at their feet before looking back up at me, as I just waved at them with my good arm. I was very glad for my heat resistance at that point.

Then, before their eyes, I knelt down, scooped up a handful of the painful water with my good hand, and then brought it to my mouth, long-since used to the burning and spiciness trickling down my throat. It took me two more swallows before I felt my arm snap back into place and hissed.

"No fair!" one of the giants called out.

I just stared at them, deadpan. "Then I guess this won't be either."

Reaching into the river beside me with my powers, I latched onto it and raised an enormous hand of molten water out of said river. The giants all gulped and stared up at it with wide eyes, various weapons and clubs dropping from their tattooed arms. Before they could turn and run, I reached my hand out and the enormous, molten hand followed those movements, grabbing all four of the giants in one motion and dragging them all back into the river where I pushed them down underneath.

I couldn't hear them shrieking in pain, obviously, but I could feel them desperately trying to swim back through the water and I winced, hoping that their deaths would be quick. I hated the idea that I'd caused them to drown—in molten liquid nonetheless—but also realized that I'd had little choice. It was me or them, as they'd made abundantly clear.

Sighing, I made my way back over to the river bank and almost collapsed once there. That had… taken a lot out of me. Not enough that I couldn't go on, but still.

Yet another reason for me to stay near the river, I supposed.

Slowly, I went back to the pile of meat and shook my head. There were enough stones here that I could cook said meat, actually. I needed some food before I traveled on, and this was as good of a place as any to stay for a while, I supposed. There were some overhangs where I wouldn't be in plain view of just anyone (or anything) who came by, so why not?

Tiredly, I set the meat out to cook on the nearby rocks. I had to travel a fair distance for some, but ultimately, I got everything cooking and then settled in to wait until I had to turn them over. Meanwhile, I took out Nico's book and began drawing the twists and turns in the leg of the river I'd just traversed, along with the giant stone cliff that had thrust out into said river that had created the bend in it that had hidden those monsters from me…

I really needed a nap.

Instead of sleeping, though, I got up to check on the meat.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

xXx

*Note, Koios is exaggerating here. Percy would probably have no problem if he died right now, but Koios is known for being intelligent and kind of manipulative, using words as much as he uses his strength. Hence, this.

Also, I'd like to point out that Berix and I both went back to the books to see what was going on with Titan vs titan, Giant vs giant, and Gods vs gods. Unless it's in a specific name/title, we found that 'Titan' is ALWAYS capitalized, 'giant' is NEVER capitalized and neither is 'gods'. Sooo, if you're confused about that… um… so are we. *ahem* Now, this is according to House of Hades and Son of Neptune which Berix and I both had on hand at the time we looked this up, so yeah. Take from that what you will.

I will also say that I capitalized the word 'it' in here and was rolling my eyes because there are no clowns in Tartarus and then Berix asked if I was SURE… which… um… no… and now I may be even more wary of Tartarus than I was before. I mean, I actually DO like clowns. I think they're amusing and fun and actually really talented, but I also get the clown fear. I do. Especially with It.

Oh, yes, thanks to my new beta reader, Berix! 3 Also Undead Prince and Quathis! Thank you guys so much!

Discord: discord. gg/xDDz3gqWfy (no spaces)