I felt my eyes bug out as the blob monster continued to squelch out of the lake. "What is that?!" I hadn't meant to really ask anyone, saying it as more of a rhetorical question. Tartarus didn't get the memo.
"It is… not a monster or creature," he said. "More of an amalgamation of consciousnesses from the different rivers that have merged."
I frowned as I ducked, jumped and rolled over several more attacks, gaining a fair amount of scratches and bruises from the sharp rocks. (Were there any not sharp rocks here?!) Then, to my relief, it dropped my bike. Definitely good. Unfortunately, it seemed to turn all of its attention onto me. At least that was the feeling I got despite it not having a face. Definitely not good. At least I didn't have to worry about pulling my belongings back.
"Why is it after me?" I hissed. "If it isn't a monster, shouldn't it leave me alone?"
I could almost feel Tartarus' sharp, if amused grin. (It hurt to even think about, let alone see.)
"It is the epitome of despair and misery. And what is it you humans say? Misery loves company? This is, after all, where Ahklys gets her poisons."
I flinched at that. I didn't like to think about the goddess of misery. She hadn't shown up while I'd been in the Pit this time, and I hoped she never would. I didn't like remembering anything about her or our encounter with her.
I swung Riptide at the water tentacle things, and half of it dropped off, but the rest of it kept coming. That didn't work. So what could I do? I could throw rocks at it, maybe? No, that was ridiculous. Push it back into the lake? So that it could just come after me again? No, thank you. That wouldn't be permanent.
Another series of attacks and I had to jump onto a sphere of water I hurriedly flattened out. Not quite a chariot but it would have to do for now. I raced away, but the thing just kept coming forward, and I had to go back for all of my canteens and supplies. The ones I'd need if I couldn't make it back to my cave.
"Really, Grandson. You will have to do better than that. This amalgamation has never been confronted before. No lore, no myths, no clues to its demise. You will have to bring all of your power out to win." He sounded so smug and sure. I grunted as I dodged again. I didn't want to bring all my powers to the table. The power I already had access to made me feel inhuman. A couple of ice sculptures here or there? Eh. Some hard-water armor? Great.
But I knew, deep down, I could push it further…
Much, much further.
The biggest problem, though, was that Tartarus knew it too.
No, I'd find a way to defeat this thing without going that far. I pushed memories of controlling Akhlys' own poison and the arai's body out of my mind. That was what Tartarus wanted. I wouldn't give it to him.
I backed out of range of the blob monster finally and it stopped… right over my stuff. Of course. I bit my lip as I looked at my things. My bag that had been given to me by Hades, that was bigger on the inside, and held my sleeping bag and a lot of my food (that hopefully hadn't been contaminated…). If I ran now, I'd have to really cut my losses… and they would be large losses. I wasn't quite ready to do that.
Frowning, I reached out for what was left of my ice bike and the supplies. I couldn't sense it through the blob monster though. Which meant I'd have to lure it away, which meant I'd have to get closer to tempt it after me. Well fine.
Taking a deep breath, I braced myself and made a basic plan. Head in, watch for tentacles, and head back out.
Before I could think better of it, I shot forward. Water whips made of pitch came at me again, difficult to grasp without some concentration, but that was fine. I could do thi—
I didn't dodge quite high enough as one of the tentacle things wrapped around my ankle.
Despair.
The Delta of Despair was a combination of all five rivers. That had confused me earlier. Annabeth actually explained it to me in one of her notes after I'd made some offhand comment about how it didn't make sense it was named for despair, because wasn't that the same as misery? The Acheron.
No. They are not the same.
Misery is a state of extreme unhappiness or pain (she said usually mental, but could be physical too). Despair is to give up. Despair is a choice. Misery is not. I told her I would never give up.
That was the only thing that kept me going when that water touched me. Each of the five rivers of the underworld (and Tartarus) embodied a state of being to an extreme: pain (Phlegethon), misery (Acheron), grief and lamentation (Cocytus), death and hatred (Styx), and forgetfulness (Lethe).
All five struck me at once.
Pain radiated from my ankle, both searing hot and utterly freezing simultaneously. And it spread. I could feel my skin dying from where the water touched it, wasting away, even as I recalled every person I had ever lost—every person who had died for me especially—and the whole concept of why keep going practically pounded into my head.
And I couldn't remember why.
For one moment, I felt the most pain, misery, and grief I'd ever experienced all at once and while the memories passed before my eyes, and I couldn't place them.
That was the worst part.
These people were important! So important! The pretty girl, no longer looking so perfect, covered in acid and armor that didn't fit her. The large boy, eyes silently pleading with me on a ship before an explosion. A boy with Asian features telling me I should have taken my chance; a girl with dark hair and eyes that matched the stars where she now rested; another girl with an Italian accent shoving a figurine into my hand before running off towards an enormous robot…
A boy with light hair and gold eyes flashing sky blue as I handed a dagger to him.
Another blond boy with striking, electric blue eyes, now empty as he lay on a beach, his purple shirt torn by a stab wound and wet with blood and water. That one didn't seem like a memory, but it felt real, even as it faded, no matter how hard I tried to hold onto it.
More faces passed through my mind. People I knew I cared for. A girl with jagged brown hair that seemed to fit her pretty face as she flirted with a very much alive blond. A large, Asian boy with a huge smile and a larger heart talking to a dark-skinned girl with honey-brown, curly hair and a kind smile. A dark-skinned boy who could hold fire as he laughed with a girl who had caramel hair and dark eyes. A boy with dark hair and dark clothes laughing with a boy with shining hair and a warm smile as he helped someone heal.
A woman with brown hair and gray streaks holding a baby as she stood next to a man with salt and pepper hair. A girl with red, curly hair, lip caught between her teeth as she painted. A girl… no, a woman with dark hair in a braid over her shoulder wearing a purple cape and a regal expression. A burly girl who looked like she could eat me for breakfast and spit me out as she grinned menacingly at me. A boy with horns and furry legs ending in hooves, bleating and chewing on a tin can before shooting me a worried look. A man with dark hair, sea green eyes and a fisher's cap on his head, smiling in pride.
A girl with blond, curly hair and deep, gray eyes looking right at me.
I tried to hold onto them, but it felt like they were slipping through my fingers.
The mind-numbing pain didn't help. It had reached my hip and I couldn't feel my leg anymore. I'd fallen to the ground. Did I even have a leg? I could sense more coming towards me—more water. More pain…
I couldn't let that happen.
I couldn't.
Because she was coming for me. And I had to be here when she did.
I didn't know how long I had been screaming by that point. Moments? Minutes? Eternities? But it slowly turned from pain and fear to a deep rage.
I'd had so much taken from me already. They. Would not. Take. THIS.
I reached out with all the power I knew I had, shoved it all at the thing hurting me. It froze in midair. I could feel it straining towards me, pushing against my will, wanting me to share its burden.
But even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't.
And I would not let it take anything else from me needlessly.
I shoved it away from me. Felt it fly back into the lake near me but… that wasn't enough. It couldn't come after me again. I couldn't let it go with the chance that it could take more from me. One of my hands reached out. I didn't even look at it as I felt its whole being freeze again.
I lifted it out of the lake and into the air. It felt like holding the sky.
(How would I know that?)
I lifted it anyway.
It was enormous, but I refused to let it go. I couldn't even stand, but I just grit my teeth and held on. Something inside me strained, but I ignored it.
I lifted it over dry land… farther… farther… until I could barely sense it. My arms shook with strain and anger and fear and…
I dropped it.
Then I pushed down, squeezing it into the ground until I felt every sense of it shrink. And still, I was not done. Couldn't be done. I reached for every remaining drop and made every. Single. Molecule still in existence evaporate.
Only then did I allow myself to collapse.
I ached. All over. I tried to say something, but could only let out a groan. My voice didn't want to work. It sounded harsh and grating and it hurt to talk. I tried to get up, but I still couldn't feel my leg and couldn't seem to get it underneath me. Forcing myself to look down, I saw… nothing. Where my leg should be, I found only air and rock. It was gone.
Something was crashing… boulders? Lightning? Thunder? I looked around and found the most horrible being I'd ever laid eyes on… laughing? I flinched as it guffawed again, like trains colliding.
Please don't look at me, I thought through the pain (not as bad as before, but that didn't say much).
It looked at me.
"Oh, that was truly magnificent, Grandson. Fragile, but powerful. Styx-blessed so you can resist the effects of the Delta to an extent, but still vulnerable… and yet you fight so hard, simply to exist. I believe I am beginning to understand demigods. Truly entertaining. And for that, I will give you a reward."
It reached towards me. I tried to flinch back but could barely move. Its enormous, armor-clad hand stretched closer and closer. That almost scared me more than knowing I had people I cared about—who cared about me—but I'd forgotten them.
Almost.
The pitch-black glove (with faces inside it, I could see horrified, pained faces) touched me and then… darkness. It shifted around me, swirled, wound, and tore through me, ripping me apart. It didn't hurt per se, but I did not like it. I could sense shapes and impossible figures around me, laughing and mocking and… cheering?
And then I was back on the ground near a glowing river of fire.
"There. If you hurry," the voice of mountains colliding said, making me flinch again, "it may even heal your memories, since losing them happened so recently."
Blinking, I looked at the river just feet in front of me. I still didn't have a leg… or hip… but that didn't matter. Determined, I crawled, ignoring the pain of making my sore body move, and the phantom pain of my leg and the agony of before spreading.
I didn't even bother to drink anything. I just pushed myself to the edge of a rock jutting out into the river, and tumbled off of it.
Bad idea. Because that searing agony started again. I screamed. The pain and spice entered my mouth and I swallowed, and breathed and… continued to scream.
xXx
I don't know how long I remained submerged in the fire river. It felt like years, but was probably only minutes. Eventually, I was able to think past the pain and crawled out onto the sharp, stabbing, glass-like rocks on the bank not far from where I'd fallen in.
Then, exhausted, I passed out.
xXx
Blue sky came into view above me. Blue sky with clouds and sunlight. Not the red clouds I'd become so used to.
I almost felt tears come to my eyes. Because sunlight. Though I couldn't seem to remember why.
Frowning, I sat up and looked around. I sat on a beach. A long stretch of tan sand under my fingertips and legs. In front of me, I saw the deep, blue ocean stretching out to the horizon. That looked almost as inviting as the sun had been, although again, I couldn't remember why. I knew what everything around me was—water, soil, sunlight, sky, clouds, etc. I even saw weedy grass behind me eventually leading into a sparse forest full of multiple kinds of trees. Bushes, leaves… and in the distance, I could see a hill with a large house on it. At the top of the hill stood an enormous pine tree. Or, I assumed it was enormous. It looked tiny from where I was. And yet, I couldn't place anything.
It seemed so calm. The steady waves. The salt-smell on the air. I loved it… but something itched at the back of my mind. Had I been here before? Despite not having any actual memory of it? Yes. Yes, I was sure I had…
"Percy!" a voice had me whipping around as a girl about my age rushed forward. She had blond hair that fell in beautiful ringlets to frame her face, tanned skin and gray eyes. I knew her.
I suddenly found myself standing as she practically threw herself into my arms. But I couldn't feel her. Why couldn't I feel her? Shouldn't she be warm and solid? After a moment, she pulled back and her eyes met mine. There was something other-worldly to them. I loved them immediately.
She frowned. "Percy?"
I swallowed and didn't answer for a moment. I knew anything I said would break her heart. (Though again, why?!)
Finally I just settled on, "Is that my name?"
Those beautiful, gray eyes widened in horror and she gasped, looking utterly heartbroken.
"Percy, did something happen with the Lethe? Please tell me you were careful! What happened?"
I took that as a yes.
"I was attacked by a… blob monster thing from a black lake." I remembered that much at least.
She closed her eyes. "Di Immortales," she whispered and sank to her knees. The world around us had changed. We were inside the forest, deeper than close to the ocean, where the trees grew more densely.
"I'm… sorry?" I said, feeling awful. She looked about ready to cry.
"Your name is Percy Jackson, son of Sally Jackson and Poseidon, the God of the Sea."
Oh. That explained the water stuff I could do.
"This is a dream. It's where we grew up. Camp Half-Blood. You came here every summer since you were twelve and—"
"A monster," I said, frowning as the image of an enormous being lumbered after me. I was dragging someone as I ran through the dark night. Wind and a little rain whipped around me. Thunder and lightning and…
"With a bull's head. The Minotaur."
Hope blossomed on the girl's face. "Yes! Percy, yes!"
I put a hand to my head, vaguely noting we were in some sort of pavilion where faux-gold plates had been set out. I knew if I spoke what I wanted to drink to the glasses behind said plates, it would appear.
"And Grover," she went on.
"A satyr," I said, smiling. "Curly hair… my best friend besides…" I faded off, blinking.
"Besides?" she encouraged.
I met her eyes again. The world around us had changed again, but I didn't care. I couldn't look away from her gaze.
"Besides you."
She did break down crying then, nodding and smiling as tears began to run down her cheeks.
"Annabeth," I said, pulling her close and wishing I could feel her as it all came rushing back to me. My life growing up (could have stood to permanently lose more memories about Smelly Gabe), my wonderful mother, the camp, the quests, the gods… including my father. My father who is beyond livid that I was tossed into…
Tartarus.
Again.
Yeah, could have done without most of those memories too… with one exception. "Annabeth Chase," I whispered. "My Wise Girl."
"I'm sorry," she whispered back, clutching onto my orange t-shirt like a lifeline. "I'm so sorry. It was my idea for you to go and get that water."
I shook my head and put a hand beneath her chin. Her eyes met mine again and I remembered we were in a dream. A lovely dream. I didn't get many of those. Ever, let alone in Tartarus.
Where I'd been for eight years.
Could have probably done without remembering that too.
"Not your fault," I said, shaking my head again. "Tart…" Names had meanings. Glad I remembered that. "Er… the big guy down there showed up, talked about a battle." Getting my memories back gave them a strange sort of emotional punch, like I was discovering them for the first time, but had already processed them. "I don't think I could have gotten out of it even if I…" I paused, gulping. "Even if I…"
Annabeth looked up worriedly. "Percy."
It wasn't as bad as Ahklys… or the arai. So yeah. Just…
"The water of the Delta, it's… awful. More like sludge than anything else. And it didn't want to move."
"You descried the Styx that way," she said after a moment.
I nodded. "Yeah, Styx is nothing compared to this." And I remembered that it had been getting easier lately. I didn't like the implications of that. It was… scary.
But hiding it from her wouldn't help, so I took a deep breath and began to explain and describe everything I could.
Once I finished, we sat there, under the tree on the hill and the golden fleece, just staying silent.
"You're getting stronger," she said. I winced. "I'm glad."
I whipped my head around to stare at her. She, of all people, knew the implications. The stronger I got the closer I came to becoming a… a monster.
"It's so selfish of me," she went on quietly. "I know what it's like down there but… I want you to survive. I want you to live. Thrive if you can. I want you to be happy until I get there."
I swallowed. "That's… not very likely."
She sighed. "No, I suppose it isn't. Which is why I feel so selfish." Her eyes were still a little red and swollen from when she'd cried earlier. "I don't want you to die. I don't want to live the rest of my life without you." She sighed again. "I'm part of the reason why you're going through what you're going through, and I am so sorry."
I just shook my head. "No, I… I get it. I could never blame you. I wouldn't want to leave you alone either. Or anyone at camp, or my family. Mom would… I know that would break her heart. But I just…" I hugged my knees close to me, feeling twelve-years-old all over again despite being twenty five (no, don't think about it). "I don't want to become a monster, Annabeth." I whispered. The very idea just made my stomach turn to lead. "That's if I haven't become one already. I know you said you would still love me, and I believe you, but… if that happened, what would we do? Really?"
She smiled sadly. "It may not be so bad, even if that does happen."
I scoffed. "Not like you to be optimistic. You're usually the pragmatic one."
She sniffed. "I'm still the pragmatic one. I just know some things you don't."
"Oh? Like what?" I asked, raising an amused eyebrow. It was shaky and thin, but there and it felt like a win.
Annabeth just shook her head. "I can't say. It's part of the promise I gave."
My mirth fell away and I looked down. "Oh."
"But it's for you, Percy. I promise."
I nodded. "I believe you." And I did. It just… I hated not having the information I felt I needed to make a decision. Then again, I was used to it. Story of my life and every quest I'd ever been on.
"Can we just stay here for a while?" I finally asked. Our scenery hadn't changed in a bit and I liked what I could see. It felt like home.
"Sure," she said softly.
So we did, just sitting there watching the camp, even though it stood empty. It didn't feel abandoned. It felt peaceful and relaxing.
And then crashing boulders and thunder ruined it.
"So. You regained your memories."
I jumped to my feet, Riptide in hand, Annabeth also shot up into a stance right beside me, her own dagger gleaming in the light of the afternoon sun. Clouds began to gather overhead, but at least they were the gray of an oncoming storm and not red.
The primordial suddenly stood, in all his dark glory, at the bottom of the hill. He easily towered as tall as the hill, looking us in the eyes despite our positions. That didn't give me any comfort and from the way Annabeth gulped, I doubt it did her either.
"Why are you here?" I practically hissed at him.
"Percy," Annabeth whispered worriedly. I couldn't blame her. I wouldn't want the gaze of the Primordial on me either. But I also found it hard to care.
Tartarus just looked around, not bothering to hold back his menacing, black aura, which seemed to suck in all the light around him. "It has been long since I have visited my consort's realm. Hmm." he said, ignoring me completely.
"What do you want?" I shouted.
He finally turned that horrifying grin on me. Annabeth gasped, having never seen it before. I wished she'd never had to.
"Your reaction amuses me, Grandson."
Annabeth blinked. "Grandson?" she asked.
I grit my teeth. "It's just one of his mind games," I said back before raising my voice again. "Leave us alone!"
Tartarus laughed. It sounded like someone had torn apart bear rock with their hands and dragged what remained down a giant chalkboard. The darkness spread outward from him even more, dropping our surroundings into shadow. The camp vanished and instead we stood on the edge of the Phlegathon. I heard Annabeth whimper beside me, but she never faltered.
Di Immortales I loved her.
On the other side of the river stood Tartarus, looking far more at home in the barren darkness. His presence had been jarring against the beauty of the woods and camp. "I came to warn you. Watching you die without a fight would be… how do you say it? Anticlimactic? Yes."
"What do you mean?" Annabeth asked, her voice steady, even if I saw her hands shake, despite being in a dream.
Tartarus held up his hand, enormous as it was, we could still make out a necklace hanging from his pinched fingers. I felt my heart stop. That was the necklace Hades gave me… the one that stopped monsters from smelling me.
"Such a fragile trinket. It didn't mix well with my power. It no longer works."
I swore the world turned upside down. No… I wanted to beg and pray he was screwing with me. That necklace had been one of the few reasons I could even sleep at night. Without it… I doubted I'd get a moment's peace.
The only reason I didn't go into a panic attack right then and there was because of the dream, but it was a near thing.
"Percy!" Annabeth grabbed my arm and turned me towards her, making me focus on her instead of the Primordial watching us. "Percy, you have to wake up."
I shook my head, not wanting to leave her. Not like this. Not to go back to something even worse than what I'd been living in already.
"Percy," she said softly, "look at me." I did. Really focusing on her helped calm me a little. I'd take what I could get at that point. "I'll come for you. But you have to stay alive."
I knew that. We'd just talked about it, but…
"I know it will be hard, Percy. I know. You know I know. But you can do it. Okay?"
I hated it, but she was right. So I bit my lip and nodded, glad I could stop myself from crying in dreams. "Yeah. Yeah. I'll… I'll wake up."
She kissed me. Even though I couldn't feel it, I still reveled in it. "Stay alive," she whispered in my ear.
"Alive," I promised. "Just… hurry, Wise Girl."
"I'm going as fast as I can. Believe me."
I did.
"See if you can build yourself a sanctuary or fortress," she suggested, glancing uneasily at Tartarus before looking back at me.
I laughed wetly. "Of course your solution is architecture."
She smiled and shook her head before sobering. "Now go," she said. "Wake up."
It was so hard to leave her, but I did it.
I opened my eyes and found myself in Tartarus again. Gasping, I fumbled for the necklace around my neck. I found it, but as soon as I touched it, I knew Tartarus hadn't lied. It felt dead, broken, and wrong.
"You're lucky so few of my children come this way… except for one, but she seems adamant on avoiding you. I wonder why."
Percy flinched.
"In any case, good luck… Grandson. You will need it."
He vanished in an explosion of darkness and I could only grit my teeth. I didn't know if the primordial had broken the necklace on purpose, but I wouldn't be surprised.
Taking several deep breaths, I went to get up. Then froze and looked down because… my leg was back. That… shouldn't be there, right? Frowning, I glanced back at the river. Had that healed me? I didn't know if the Phlegethon could regrow limbs. Had never had to try before… Or had the primordial…
No. Probably not. I kind of hoped not because I didn't want Tartarus doing anything to me, for better or worse.
I didn't have time to deal with that right now anyway. I'd just be grateful I had my leg back and go back for my…
Oh. I saw them right there next to me. My melting ice-bike, the backpack, and the multiple canteens and bottles. For several seconds I just blinked at it. Then I shook my head. Gift-horses. Only time would tell if I had a metaphorical invading army on my hands. I really hoped not but should probably plan on something going wrong because of everything that had happened. It was, after all, my life.
Twenty (ish) minutes later, I had my ice-bike back to normal and was heading back up the river when I saw my first group of monsters.
xXx
AN: So, two rivers are supposed to merge at some point to create the Acheron, which… okay. But the map I found of Tartarus has all five rivers combining to the Delta of Despair. Or maybe 4 rivers meet and then it flows out to become the Acheron, but that seemed a bit anti-climatctic to me so yeah. I figure this is Tartarus and if these rivers are really his blood, then there are likely arteries that feed from each river, and because this is a primordial body, not all of physics would work the same, so the rivers can split like they wouldn't irl and then combine later or something… I mean, Tartarus isn't SUPPOSED to make sense, right? Which… fair. It doesn't. So yeah.
Thank you to my lovely beta readers: Berix, Asterius Daemon, Ajax, Starlight 3 (luv) and Quathis!
Title of next chapter: Of Beacons, Dealing, and More Misery Goddesses
Discord: discord. gg/xDDz3gqWfy (no spaces)
