Tales of the falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...Responses...

MysterD47: I like it, but can I make it Tyrone, instead of Dipper? Their basically the same person...plus, I just think it's a good compromise between Wendip and Dipifica fans that should be pushed more. Also, Emotion Comotion will be the thing I do next

Godzilla2915: (responded through PM).

: It depends on real life, my inspiration, the will of my god, and bribes in the form of 'Shake up the Falls' chapters.

...…...

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.

Or in this case...for want of an ax...a book was found.

...

Wendy Corduroy was annoyed. Her dad made her go all the way back to the house just to get a stupid ax! For the stupid Lumberjack game!...It made her so mad! She started swinging the Ax back and forth smacking down everything nearby-

CRACK!
SMACK!
CRUNCH!
CLANG!

Wendy frowned. Clang? She inspected the tree that made the offending sound. She taps the tree with the Ax, which makes more metallic sounds. She wipes away some dust and opens a secret window revealing a mechanical box with two control switches on top. She tests one control but nothing happens. Then she tries the other. Behind her, a hole opens up in the ground.

"What the?" Says Wendy out loud as she looks into the hole...and sees a strange book...

...3 years later...

Dipper Pines wandered aimlessly through the woods setting up signs advertising his uncles shack. "Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I-

CRASH!

GAH!

Screamed Dipper as he fell into chasm that just opened below him...

...

OW!

GAH!

WHY!

RIP!

OW!

SMACK!

CRACK!

Dipper was falling, he'd been falling for what felt like hours...it was hard to keep track when your constantly smashing into stuff-

GAH!

OW!

CRACK!

WHY!?

RIP!

NO!

WHACK!

CRACK!

Dipper groaned...had he finally reached the bottom?...No, he'd just landed on a pterodactyl...who had just taken off...yep, he's falling again-

CRACK!

SMACK!

OW!

CRASH!

RIP!

GAH!

CRACK!

Dipper whimpered in agony. He was getting the mother of all flying wedgies. His boxers(the only scrap of clothes that hadn't got ripped off on the way down) had snagged on a branch...it hurt like crap!...but at least he wasn't falling anymore.

If he could just reach over-

rip

Yep, that figures. Thinks a now very naked Dipper as he continues his descent-

CRASH!

WHACK!

GAH!

NO!

OW!

SMASH!

THUD!

Finally, Dipper had hit the bottom...he'd broken every bone in his body, he was contorted and messed up six ways to Sunday, he'd be surprised if he hadn't lost several vital organs...But the ordeal was finally-

BAM!

Down went the hammer that Dipper had brought with him to nail up the posters...right on his head...needless to say he feel unconscious...and thus didn't see a certain red-head enter the clearing-

…...

Wendy Corduroy was having...a 'mixed' day. On the one hand, she'd finally vanquished those Blind-Eye Dorks...and secured her families memories of her existence back.

On the other hand...she was now being chased by something much worse. And now she found a very messed up 12-year old boy!

Wendy grimaced. She hated using up her last health elixir...but this kid needed it something fierce!

She quickly administered it and within seconds the boy was completely restored! GAH! Cried the boy as he woke up in shock.

"What just- He stopped and turned scarlet at the sight of Wendy. Wendy sighed...well, she was apparently wearing nothing but a one piece bathing suite...that seemed to be made out of a cloud of constantly-shifting, super-bright fireflies...what did she expect? Also-

Wendy suddenly went deathly pale. "What!? That's impossible! That elixir should have healed everything!" She exclaimed horrified.

The boy looked at her confused. "What are you talking about?" He asked both frightened and bewildered.

Wendy tried to sound as soothing as possible. "Please don't panic. But for whatever reason, my elixir didn't make your wang grow back! It's still gone!"

The boy looked at her mortified and humiliated as he covered himself. "It...isn't gone." Said the boy clearly trying very hard to not cry.

Wendy's eye's widened in realization and also turned scarlet. "Oh...Wow, sorry...The-the lighting here is bad." She lied lamely. "Also, it's...kinda cold...so it's only natural-

"Could you please just give me some clothes!" Demanded an exasperated Dipper.

Wendy was about to oblige...then they heard the battle horn. Quickly Wendy grabbed him and ran. "No time! They've found me!"

And so they ran; King Bowser's Horse-back riding, monkey soldiers in hot pursuit...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Why aren't their more stories where Wendy finds the journal?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!

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