Author Notes - The last week of my life has contained the triple whammy of Christmas, News Years, AND my birthday. All in the span of about five days. But my personal hell is over now.
CHAPTER TWELVE - HASSLE IN YE CASTLE
'Hellen Gravely, I would like a quick word with you.'
The hotel owner yelped from the sound of King Boo's voice, spun her chair around and put on a bashful smile.
'Oh, darling!' She said. 'Why are you here? Shouldn't you be... wherever you were, watching over my brilliant plan?'
'Funny. That's precisely what I wanted us to talk about.'
Hellen kept up her smile, but on the inside she was - as the previously-living ghosts called it - 'dying for a second time'.
'W-What is there to talk about, darling? My plan is working perfectly!' She then muttered, 'If my useless staff were to stop acting like morons...'
'Yeah, I'm not so sure about that, 'darling'.' King Boo said, narrowing his eyes. 'Haven't you noticed that Luigi and his friend have already saved a Toad?'
'Why, yes! I have noticed that. Now, if my Polterkitty only managed to successfully steal that button...'
The cat in question, who had been trying to sleep but couldn't, glared up at her.
King Boo sighed. 'I think there's a problem when your master plan relies on a cat.'
'Look, it's just a minor setback. I promise. My hotel trap has worked since the beginning. I'm sure Charles and Sam alone are proof enough of that. I can assure you that we will have Luigi captured.'
'You better.'
He turned around and looked at the portrait of Mario. At least he could always marvel at the terror in that heroic plumber's eyes.
'That Luigi...' He muttered. 'I would possess his body and throw him off a cliff if I could.'
'Then, if you don't mind me asking, why don't you?'
He groaned. 'Boos aren't very good at possessing people. The victim has to be pretty dang scared for it to work.'
She chuckled. 'Then surely possessing that dirty coward would be an easy task.'
During their exchange, Polterkitty growled to herself. Why couldn't Master give her attention? Why did Master have to care so much about a doomed romance?
'You'd think so.' King Boo continued. 'But surprisingly Luigi's never been that terrified of me.' He smirked. 'But I know someone who is.'
The elevator doors opened up, and immediately Luigi felt like he had been transported to Mediaeval Europe. Between the dusty old brickwork, the tattered flags and rugs, and the crackling fireplace, it gave off the authentic experience. Well, authentic enough for a hotel, at least. The musty smell had returned, but this was unlike that of the basement. It reminded Luigi of an old ashy fireplace.
'I don't remember this being on the map...' He muttered.
Daisy peered past him. 'Um... are we sure this is the same hotel? Or any hotel for that matter? I mean, I like it, but why?'
Luigi took one step out the elevator. Two suits of armour stood on the sides of the opened doors, guarding them with an axe and sword.
'I guess a haunted hotel doesn't have to be normal all the way-'
An axe fell past his face, the sharp blade missing his nose by less than an inch.
*CLANK*
'EEEK!'
His eyes darted down to the axe now resting harmlessly on the floor. Polterpup growled at it, as if it were anything more than a regular old axe.
'Oh!' Daisy cried. 'Are you alright?'
'Uh, yeah.' Luigi said. 'O-On the outside, at least.'
The trio entered the elevator hall, which - aside from the fallen axe - remained as still as an undisturbed room should. The cackling fire helped fill what would otherwise be a creepy silence. The only way out was through a small entrance to a large room similar in size to the fourth floor's theatre. The stony floor that took up only half of the room turned into a grand bridge over a moat, one that led to a castle wall. The castle itself had grey bricks that, despite the moss that grew in their cracks, stood out as far more grand compared to the brown floor bricks.
But it wasn't an actual castle, or a real moat. Nothing of the sort.
'Did we just stumble into a play?' Daisy questioned.
Though it looked realistic, at the end of the day, it was merely the set of a castle wall. The moat was actual water, yes, but it could hardly be considered a moat considering how shallow and small it was. The popcorn stand in the corner especially shattered what would've been an impressive illusion.
Vaguely adventurous music began to play from a low-quality speaker.
'This place looks... really cool.' Luigi said.
'I guess that's one way to describe it.' Daisy added.
She knocked on one of the stones in the wall. It felt and sounded like she was punching styrofoam.
'I gotta see this.' She said, stepping forward.
The moment her foot hit the ground, a second, barely higher in quality, speaker turned on. Luigi shuddered at the voice.
'Welcome guests, to Castle MacFrights!' A recording of Hellen Gravely's voice announced. 'Get ready for the full mediaeval experience! See genuine castles, traverse dangerous traps, and watch the king himself engage in a joust. This and more at Castle MacFrights.'
In a much lower, quicker voice, she added: 'The Last Resort and its owner Ms Hellen Gravely are not responsible for any damage, injury, mugging, assault, or anything that could potentially result in death. Castle MacFrights is trademarked by the Last Resort Inc.'
The pre-recorded message came to end, allowing the cruddy music to continue uninterrupted. It only played for a few more seconds before the music distorted and ceased playing entirely. The speaker let off several sparks, and fell to the floor into a pile of rubble.
Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'I see they spared no expense.'
She approached the foot of the draw bridge, with Luigi and Polterpup close behind. Compared to the rest of the realistic set, the 'wooden' bridge looked noticeably plastic, straight out of a children's play-set. Though the water was shallow and he was a very good swimmer, Luigi dreaded to think about how much the Poltergust would drag him down.
Daisy opened the door - nice red wood panelling did little to prevent the regular old door from breaking the illusion - to a short hallway. In contrast to the well-lit room behind her, the hallway was dimly lit only by the light coming from the... windows? Four helmet-less suits of armour stood in front of each 'window', rattling just slightly as mice scampered past them and across the red carpet.
Luigi shuddered upon seeing the suits of armour, and not just because of what happened five minutes ago. At least there was a rug he could use to flip them over.
'I just want to remind ourselves that we're in a hotel right now.' Daisy said as she walked along the carpet. 'A hotel. Which was perfectly normal before we went to bed.'
'Yeah. I understand.' Luigi said, following her and unable to take his attention away from the armour.
Fortunately, nothing attacked them in that hallway aside from a chilling breeze against the back of their necks.
Daisy put her hand on the door handle. 'So, what are we expecting here?'
'Misery.' Luigi answered, in an appropriate tone. 'Mayhem. Madness.'
'Marvellous. Let's go.'
She opened the door and... well, it wasn't quite what they were expecting, to say the least. The first thing that caught their eye was, um, the sky? It seemed like the door had opened up to an open sunny sky, but once they got over their initial shock it was clear it was just a blue sky painted onto the walls and ceiling.
Aside from that, the way that this set was built made them feel like they were standing on and looking over a castle wall. To the left was a door blocked by bars, and to the right was a fruit stand asking to be destroyed. Near that was a small wooden gate.
'Wow...' Luigi muttered, in awe at the sights.
Polterpup knew exactly where he wanted to be, and rushed over to the fruit stand to gulp down a watermelon whole.
Daisy grinned, and marvelled at the set. 'Okay, this is pretty cool. Why do they need to do all the kidnapping stuff? They'd make so much money with just a little bit of advertisement.'
The one thing that managed to hold Luigi's attention was a lowered circular platform in the bricks, right in the middle of the wall. He walked over to the edge and peered over. The set just got better. The wall allowed him to overlook a mini-stadium with seats made of the finest wood he had seen in quite some time. Against the back wall, parallel to where he was standing, stood a glorious throne that had its own grand platform to stand on.
That throne is fit for a king!
As if reading his mind, two Goobs emerged floating on either side of the throne, each playing a big old-fashioned horn. The tune they played was just the one that you would play to introduce a member of royalty. After playing the royal song, they lowered their instruments and motioned to the seemingly empty chair.
'Hear ye, hear ye. Presenting,' They announced, as deadpanned as ghostly possible. 'The ruler of this grand and dangerous castle... King MacFrights!'
A ghost materialised, floating in front of his royal seating. Compared to the featureless Goobs, he was a small skinny guy with an impressive red beard.
'I ameth ye ruler of this magnificent land!' King MacFrights declared with a heavy Scottish accent. 'And I am readyeth to introduceth thee to me wonderful but deadly castle!'
The Goobs continued their deadpanned speech that they probably had repeated hundreds of times before. 'On your tour you will experience thrills and spills as you traverse the castle of King MacFrights. Be warned, as there are several traps along the way, and...
The Goob on the left threw up his arms in exasperation and stopped his speech dead. 'Oh, I can't do this anymore. Sorry for the confusion, humans. But he's not a king. Nor was he ever. Sorry, I can't do this stupid speech anymore.'
MacFrights growled and smacked him upside the head. The Goob took it rather well, and just looked at him with mild annoyance.
'THOU WILL NOT GIVETH THY KING SUCH INSOLENCE!' The 'king' shouted. ''Ow dare thou questioneth me royal status! If thou weren't already deadeth, I'd 'ast thou be'eaded for thy disdainful acts against me!'
The Goob just rolled his pupil-less eyes. 'Sir, you don't-'
'I AM THY 'IGHNESS! Refereth to me as such!'
'Your highness, you don't have the power to do that. Ms Gravely is the one who-'
'Do not speaketh yon name around me! Ye 'ussy 'ast tried to ASSASSINATETH ME far too many times!'
The two Goobs, Polterpup, and the mortals stared at the 'king', all sharing the same incredulous expression.
'Uh-huh. Right. Your highness!' Daisy called, leaning over the edge of the castle wall slightly. 'You wouldn't happen to have a small glowing thing, would you?'
MacFrights grinned. 'As a matter of fact, thee dear peasant, I doth.'
He reached into his pocket and pulled out an elevator button. Luigi could barely make out a '7'. The 'king' held the button up and shook it around, like a dog owner taunting their pet with a doggy treat.
'If thee peasants wanteth it, there be a way ta geteth it.' He said. 'If thou manage to reacheth me glorious stadium, thou may entereth a jousting tournament with me. Ye winner getseth thy sparkling gold thing! But I warn thee, I am nigh undefeatable. So, what do thou sayeth?'
Daisy put her foot onto the stone wall she leaned over, and gave her opponent a cocky smirk. 'I accepteth thy challenge, your highness!' She groaned at the realisation that she was doing it too now.
Luigi yelped. 'Uh, D-Daisy? Shouldn't we think this over f-?'
'So it's settled!' MacFrights declared. 'Maketh it to ye arena and thou two shall challengeth me for ye grande prize! I predicteth that thy battle will not disappointeth.'
Ignoring Luigi's pleas to take things slow and carefully, Daisy rushed to the small wooden gate that led to the arena.
'Whoa!'
There was, however, something stopping her from merely vaulting over. Paranormal gates emerged and locked into the ground, baring off not just the gate but the entire wall as well. The latter was especially frustrating, as throwing herself off the wall was her next option.
'Ah ah ah!' MacFrights said. 'We wouldn't wanteth thou cheatin' and going througheth me gates to geteth to me early, would thou now? If thou want to challengeth me, then thou must go througheth ye full gauntlet of Castle MacFrights! Guards, open ye olde door!'
One could assume 'guards' referred to the two suits of armour standing by the blocked off door to the left. On his cue, the bars that blocked the door rose up, allowing mortals to pass through.
'If thou mere mortals succeedeth in navigating me domaine, I will considereth ye worthy of a fight! But I warneth thou, ye olde castle be filledeth to ye brim with traps. I 'opeth thou art quick in ye brain and on ye feet, or ye traps will giveth thou a one-way-trip to me graveyard.'
Daisy could barely pay attention to his words thanks to his utter butchering of old-styled English, but she got the message.
'Um, what is he saying?' Luigi asked, unable to understand him through his thick accent and abuse of Ye Olde English.
'We just accepted a challenge to go through a bunch of death traps. You okay with that?'
He blinked at her. 'You know the answer to that.'
'Look, it's a set where the walls are made of foam. What kind of 'death traps' could he possibly have for us?'
The trio entered the first door, Luigi stepping through last. The next room was not unlike the hallway, just a little wider and lacking windows. Luigi's flashlight was the only real source of illumination. The only real difference was that the suits of armour had been moved into the corners, and various weapons like axes and swords hung from the walls and racks.
Daisy noticed the flashlight beam jittering about. 'You okay, sweetie?'
'O-Oh yeah.' He said. 'I'm just great. C-Couldn't be happier!'
She chuckled. 'Like I said, the walls made of foam. This is basically a Disneyland tour.'
While the mortals conversed, Polterpup picked up a scent far less inviting than that of the fruit stands. He put his nose to the floor and followed it up to one of the suits of armour. The metal emitted a ghostly aura.
'Yip!'
He yipped over and over while pointing at the armour. Neither Luigi nor Daisy noticed him.
'Oh, and I'm sure this fifteen storey deathtrap is just a hotel, right?' The man in green said.
'Well that's just... a really good point, actually. But I'm still waiting for a tour guide. I'll be convinced if,' She put her chin in her hand. 'I dunno, one of those suits of armour came to life.' She paused. 'Wait, no!'
Polterpup yelped and jumped back as the armour's foot jolted forward. It caught the humans' attention, just in time for them to see it lifting its entire leg forward. Its helmet snapped to them, and it lifted its battle axe into the air.
'Luigi, I know what you're about to say.' Daisy said. 'And to that I say, shut up.'
'I wasn't planning on saying anything…'
Though it moved slowly, the suit waddled forward like a soulless robot set only to kill. As it lumbered towards them, it repeatedly muttered a single phrase in a low, lifeless voice.
'Treguna, mekoides, trecorum satis dee…'
'It's okay sweetie!' Daisy announced. 'I can handle this!'
She leapt forward and slammed her fist into the chest of the metal being.
*bonk*
'... ow.'
To say the least, her punch did nothing. The armour, making no sounds other than its repetitive muttering and the usual metal clanking, held its axe into the air and swung it down. It aimed for her neck.
'Oh no you don't!'
Without thinking, she held her hands out and tried to block the blade. The sharp edge bounced off her metal gloves harmlessly. Polterpup snarled at the armour, and ripped one of the leg plates clean off its body. Despite it only having one leg now, it stood perfectly and the foot continued to move.
Luigi looked behind him; the door to the next room stood undisturbed, with not a single paranormal gate or blockage of any kind to be seen.
'Let's-a get outta here!' He yelled to his princess.
Daisy pushed the axe away and backed off. 'Right behind ya!'
They rushed for the door. Daisy reached her hand out for the doorknob.
*CLANK*
'Yah!'
An axe swung down, barely missing her fingers. The suit of armour who wielded it stepped in front of the door, slapping its axe into its other hand like a ruler.
'Okay Luigi, any ideas?' Daisy asked.
'Why is it always me?'
'My idea was to punch the thing. You're the smart one out of the three of us.'
Luigi gulped. 'A-Alright.'
He noticed something on the chest of the stationary guard. It had a small round plate in the middle, with an emblem of the hotel's icon on it.
He smiled. 'I got it!'
Daisy sighed in relief, just quietly enough so no one could hear it. 'Don't explain it to me. Just do it!'
Giving her a nod, he fired a Suction Shot at the emblem. The armour did not respond, still muttering those incoherent words like its only function was to kill. Luigi pulled on the rope with his Poltergust until it couldn't be pulled further.
'Get out of the way!' He ordered.
Daisy nodded and ran for it. Once she was clear from the impact site, he plungered the suit of armour over his head, smashing it right into the other metal being. Both suits collapsed into a pile of iron, showing no ghostly being having possessed them. But still, the two voices repeated their mysterious incantation.
Polterpup tugged at his pant leg, whimpering in desperation. He stared at the mangled pile with wide eyes and tiny pupils. A glove, lying on the floor, twitched and slowly floated over to the end of an arm piece.
'I'm not the idea guy here or anything,' Daisy said, returning to his side. 'But I think we should skedaddle.'
The glove's fingers opened up, and pointed right at them.
Daisy grabbed her male counterpart's wrist. 'Oh yeah, we're leaving!'
And they were out the other door before the armour could return to its 'proper' forms. Daisy slammed the door shut behind him and prayed the beings behind it were not smart enough to open doors.
'What, in the heck, was that about?!' She yelled. 'I know you've mentioned something about possessed knights or something, but those things didn't even have ghosts inside them!'
Luigi placed his hand on his heart, and only spoke once it slowed down. 'I don't know. I don't think even the professor would know.'
Our heroes took a moment to breathe, as this room was far more quiet. Windows - however they were there - on the right allowed soft moonlight to fall onto the wooden platform they stood on. The platform became a small set of stairs, which came to another platform before continuing down the other way. Polterpup sniffed at what he thought was a bloodstain, but turned out to be merely dried tomato sauce.
Another pre-recorded message by Hellen proceeded to greet our heroes.
'Well done, intrepid explorers! You have passed the sentient husks of heroic knights, known for attacking without emotion and uttering a seemingly nonsensical message.'
Daisy groaned. 'Would've been nice to know that was coming beforehand, but alright.'
'You are one step closer to completing our deadly tour. Keep on your toes, because you never know what could happen next!'
The message ended there. The princess looked at the speaker with her mouth agape.
'That's it?!' She yelled. 'Not even going to tell us what horrific trap you have laid out for us next?'
'I think this tour is supposed to kill us.' Luigi added.
'Ya think?'
Alas, they had no choice but to move on, lest they return to that room. Luckily, the walk down to the next door had no dangers, beyond the crows that flew away.
'I hate this.' Daisy said as she reached for the door. 'I really hate this. I love a good ghost tour, but I like ghost tours where my life isn't literally in danger.'
She opened the door up to the next room, and thus the next 'challenge.' It looked similar to the last 'challenge room', albeit without any suits of armour so already our heroes liked this one more.
Three barrels big enough for all three heroes to fit into at once lay on their side against the wall, their green lids each adorned with a picture of MacFrights' face pointing at them. The stone floor got divided in two by a strip of metal going straight from the left side of the room all the way to the right. Above them was a platform, holding smaller barrels in big stacks. More barrels stood in the corners of the room, filled with tomatoes that were only slightly rotten.
On the other side of the metal strip was the next door.
'Well, this is an obvious trap waiting to happen.' Daisy remarked.
The trio approached the metal plate slowly, watching for any sort of discrepancy. Without a warning, rows of skinny spikes taller than Polterpup sprung from the metal plate with a ssshing! sound. They stopped dead, Luigi jumping back with a yelp. Polterpup sniffed the red stuff on the tips; half of it was tomato sauce, the other half blood.
'Now what?' Luigi asked.
Daisy took a closer look at the spikes. They were certainly sharp enough to impale her if she just fell on them. At the same time, they had little gaps in between them, albeit very tiny ones. She figured her legs could just barely fit through them. No way her partner was going to make it past though.
She turned to Luigi with a sigh. 'Go back to the elevator. I'll do the rest of 'ye gauntlet' myself.'
'What? No!' He cried. 'I can't let you do that! We're supposed to be a team. And... and what if you get hurt? I won't be around to help you. A-And anyway, I'm not sure you'll be able to walk through those spikes without getting hurt. They're really sharp.'
He looked at her with such effective puppy dog eyes that not even Polterpup would be able to beat them. It was moments like this that almost made Daisy hate how much she loved him. Almost.
She sighed. 'Alright. You have any better ideas?'
Her eyes fell upon a black ball hanging by a rope in the back corner of the room. The rope travelled across the ceiling, attaching the ball to the spike trap.
'Ooh, I got something!' She said. 'If we pulled on that, it might just lower the spikes. But how are we supposed to - DAH!'
She jumped as she turned back to Luigi. A monochrome green guy stood right next to her, staring with his soulless eyes.
'Oh sweet Grambi... can ya warn me when you do that next time?'
'Sorry.' Despite the distortion in his voice, Daisy could still hear the remorse.
Just as Luigi had expected, Gooigi passed through the spikes without a problem, aside from walking a little slower. He reached the other side like the spikes weren't even there, and walked over to the hanging ball and got it into the Poltergust. He walked backwards, dragging the ball along with him. Once it was dragged as far as it could go, the spikes slid down back into the floor.
Daisy gave him a thumbs-up. 'Good job!'
Luigi transferred his consciousness back to his regular body, a sensation that felt so natural now, and Gooigi still held onto the ball.
'Congratulations, explorers!' Hellen's pre-recorded voice returned. 'You have bypassed the dreaded spike trap!'
It ended there, being oddly short. Our heroes walked over the now-harmless spike trap and towards the door. When Daisy tried to open it though, they found one tiny, insignificant problem.
The door was locked.
Hellen's voice continued. 'Oh, did I fail to mention that the door is locked? Sorry. You'll have to find a key first. Oh, and there will be ghosts throwing tomatoes at you too. Have fun!'
Right on cue, Oozer ghosts popped their skinny little heads out of the smaller barrels, armed with an endless supply of the red produce.
Luigi knelt down to his ghostly dog. 'You're good at finding keys, boy. Go find it!'
Polterpup gave him a salute and ran off to do as he was ordered. Given the lack of any visible shiny objects, he figured his best bet was the giant barrels in the corner.
'Good boy!' Luigi said. 'Good - ah!'
He got interrupted by a tomato striking him square in the face. It didn't hurt too much, but bits of it fell into his mouth and made him gag from the taste.
'Hey!' Daisy yelled.
She charged back over to the other side of the room, where the tomato had come from. Following the path to a barrel, she gave the wooden vessel a kick.
'I know it was you buddy!' She said, glaring down into it. 'Come fight me like a real ghost!'
No response.
'So that's how it's going to be, huh? I can work with this!'
She lifted the barrel into the air with the lights on her gloves glowing strong, and slammed it into the floor. It broke apart into a mess of splinters and tomato sauce, leaving a very dizzy Oozer in the middle of it. She picked him up by the tail and cracked his body like a whip. If he had a spine, it would've snapped.
Polterpup ducked into the barrel on the left undetected. Unfortunately, all that was in that one was a small colony of mice, mice now squeaking in fear from the big scary dog.
Luigi got done wiping the tomato splatter off his face, only to receive another one thrown directly at the back of his neck. He turned around to see an Oozer sticking her head out of the barrel behind him. He picked up his Strobulb and got ready to charge.
'Hang on, sweetie!' Daisy said. 'I got this!'
She spun the Oozer in her hand around like he was a lasso, taking a bit too much delight in doing so, and - like she was competing for the Hammer Throw gold medal - she chucked her Oozer directly at the other.
Their faces crashed into each other and they fell flat to the ground, barely conscious. Luigi could hardly believe how good Daisy seemed to be at this already. While his owner got to slamming the Oozers into nothing, Polterpup ducked into the next barrel. His tail wagged when he saw the key lying up for grabs. He grabbed it with his mouth and jumped out to meet up with his owner once again.
Luigi had just got done eliminating the ghosts when Polterpup dropped the key at his feet. The sight of the shiny object brought a smile to the plumber's face.
'Good job, boy!'
Daisy returned to her boys while Luigi used the key. In that whole mess, Gooigi had not let go of the ball once, leaving the spikes covered. As Luigi opened the door, the speakers spoke to them once again.
'See? That wasn't so hard, was it? Now, the question is, what horrors await you around the corner? You'll have to wait and see! But I'm sure that it'll be something ghastly!'
Luigi stuck his head through the door, and wrinkled his nose as the musty smell from the basement came back to him. Actually, the basement's air was fresher than this. At least that air didn't carry the heavy scent of suffering and decay.
'Blegh...' He muttered, getting his whole body out the door.
They stepped onto a small bridge, one that led to a solid wall covered up by a MacFrights banner. Once he saw how high above the ground they were, Luigi found that the floorboards beneath his feet seemed to creak way louder all of a sudden. Candles halfway through burning gave the room an orange glow that did little to mask the feeling of despair. A couple of round metal cages hung from the ceiling.
Polterpup focused on a wooden elevator shaft that led to the ground level. Chains travelled down, and connected it to a wooden fan attached to the wall. Daisy leaned over the edge. The drop down led to an entirely different storey, one filled with chains.
The speakers spoke again. 'You have arrived at the brigs. Here, we keep prisoners chained to the walls until they cannot fight anymore. Will you be among those chained-up, or will you succeed past this harrowing room? Goeth forth, thou travellers!'
The princess had no words for the constant patronising. 'Hey, if I tried jumping off-'
'You would probably die.' Luigi answered.
'Good point. Any other ideas?'
'Arf arf!'
The humans turned to Polterpup, who was now floating next to the wooden fan looking pretty proud of himself.
Luigi sighed in relief. 'What did ya find, boy?'
Polterpup grabbed one of the fan's blades and spun it around. It pulled on the chain in the shaft, bringing the elevator cage up until it reached the top. The bar in the way rose up, allowing entrance.
Daisy reached over and gave him a rub behind his non-existent ears. 'Who's a clever boy? You are! Yes you are!'
The princess stepped into the cage at once, but the plumber hesitated. The floor did not seem especially stable. Regardless, it held up even once Polterpup spun the fan the other way to lower them to the floor. When Luigi stepped out onto the dirt floor, he found that the smell of decay only got worse at the bottom. How Daisy could handle it was a mystery to him. Many chains hung from the walls, yet there was a surprising absence of any bodies or skeletons. He figured they must've been cleaned up afterwards.
'Uh, so what now?' Daisy asked.
Luigi looked around, and gasped. It seemed as though there were no doors to enter.
'Oh no...'
'I have a solution.' Daisy said. 'Insult my favourite band until I get angry enough to break down the walls.'
He shook his head. 'Th-There's gotta be a better way than that.'
'What, exactly?'
He wished he had an answer, but at the moment it seemed like they were trapped, forced to eventually starve and join the undead. The world began to lose its focus around him.
'Arf arf!'
His heart relaxed. Once again, Polterpup arrived to get him out of a stressful situation. He floated down from the bridge above, and settled on the floor next to the wall, pointing to a seemingly inconspicuous spot. No one noticed the elevator going back up.
Daisy cocked an eyebrow. 'Hate to break this to you Polterpup, but we're not ghosts. We can't just go through walls like you can.'
Polterpup whined at her.
Luigi glanced the spot up and down. 'I don't think that's what he's trying to tell us.'
'Then what?'
He pulled out his flashlight, and set it to Dark-Light mode. The rainbow light covered the wall, revealing the translucent shape of a solid door.
'Oh!' Daisy said. 'Of course!'
As Luigi kept the Dark-Light on the reforming door, waiting for the Spirit Balls to emerge, Daisy's attention was caught by the sound of the elevator moving. The fan attached to it broke off its axis like someone ripped it off.
'Uh, Luigi?'
He stopped using the light and turned to her. 'What?'
The elevator cage crashed into the ground, shattering its own floor. Luigi flinched, and his terror only got worse when he saw the occupants who sent it crashing down.
'Pound mean man!'
'Hattie smash green man!'
'Harry make scary princess pay!'
Hammers. Mini-Hammers no bigger than the Mini-Goobs from the shops at that. All fifteen or so of them spilled out the elevator like water, each riling up their fists for a battle and yelling their own little battlecry. One floated much higher than the others, not getting his hands ready for battle but instead keeping watch.
Daisy merely scoffed. 'We don't really need a little distraction right now.'
Luigi stared at the Mini-Hammers, but not out of fear. They reminded him of the tiny Goobs he had to capture in the clothing shop, and they sounded no older. One particularly small one sounded like she was two. Were they the ghosts of previously-living children? He didn't want to think about that for a moment longer. It didn't matter. Children were children.
The apparent two-year-old floated over to Polterpup, and reached out to pat him. He responded by barking furiously in her face. She squealed in fear as she retreated.
'D-Daisy?' Luigi squeaked out.
'Yeah?'
'C-Can you take them out? P-Please?'
Any question she wanted to ask got answered by the misery in his eyes. She nodded, and got to demolishing. She swiped her hand through three of them, and all three vanished into red particles as easily as that.
She chuckled. 'Yeah, I don't think this will be hard.'
The yelps the Mini-Hammers made as they disappeared convinced Luigi that he couldn't watch. He turned away, listening to the child ghosts get defeated one by one, indicated by their screams. He quickly lost count. The sounds of them getting defeated eventually ceased. He still didn't want to look, just in case it wasn't actually over yet.
'Hey, you! Up there!' Daisy yelled, presumably to the one just watching. 'Get down here and... hey don't fly away!' She groaned. 'That works too. Alright sweetie, they're gone now.'
He finally dared to look, and found the room totally empty. Trying his hardest to put that behind him, he got to Dark-Lighting the invisible door again.
'How can you do that?' He asked. 'They're... they're children. What if they're kids who died?'
'Simple.' Daisy said. 'I just don't think about it.'
Daisy watched the silhouette of the door fully form, and five Spirit Balls floated out of it.
'So you gotta suck the balls, right?' She asked.
'E-Excuse me?'
'I don't care how that sounds. You know what I mean.'
Complying to her request, he succeeded in sucking up the fiery balls. Once they all disappeared into his vacuum, the door reformed for real. Daisy stepped through it, unaware of the bucket balancing above her. When she opened the door, the bucket tipped over and spilled water all over her.
'GAH!'
She looked back at Luigi, with the most 'done with this' face imaginable. Water dripped from her hair and down her clothes. He tried his best to hide his laughter, but ultimately failed. Polterpup didn't even try to hide it.
'What happened?' Luigi asked between giggles.
She wiped some of the water off her face, trying not to giggle too. 'Yeah, cos that's what I want! Stupid bucket pranks in the middle of a life-threatening tour. That's exactly what I want!'
'I'd rather the bucket than the spikes.'
'True, true. Never mind the bucket. Come on!'
Luigi followed her and arrived in a room quite a bit different than the last, though the decaying smell was no different. This room was one of the biggest so far, and was divided in half by metal bars spanning the entire floor from one end to the other. Thanks to the prison beds and chains, that room's purpose was clear.
The floor returned to being made of stone, much like the rooms above. Other than the bars and the beds, hardly anything stood in this area, making for a frighteningly bare room.
'Oh hey.' Daisy said. 'The door's right there! How much do you wanna bet it's locked?'
She ran over before he could even answer. Unsurprisingly, the door was locked.
'Great.' She muttered. 'Where's the key? On the moon?'
Luigi only had to glance around for a second to see the key behind the bars, hanging by one of the chains above a pool of water.
'There it is.' He stated simply.
Daisy walked up to the bars. There was another ball-on-rope near the exit door though. If it wasn't for the water surrounding the key, Gooigi would've made it simple.
'Go get the key, boy!' Luigi said.
'Yip yip!'
She huffed. That worked too. Polterpup grabbed onto the key, and pulled on it. It didn't unhook. He whimpered, and pulled again. Still nothing.
'Arf...' This bark clearly meant 'help'.
'How about you use Gooigi?' Daisy asked.
Luigi shook his head. 'The key's above water. That won't work.'
'I meant for that.' She pointed at the ball hanging from the wall.
'Why does Gooigi have to do it? I'm sure you could move it too.'
'No way I'm leaving your side in a place as dangerous as this.'
His heart warmed. He deployed Gooigi, and with his 'Poltergoo' grabbed onto the ball and pulled it back. He had to pull it a fair distance, but after about a metre or two, a gate in the bars lowered into the floor.
Switching back to his real body, Luigi smiled at his princess. 'Good idea, Daisy!'
She smirked. 'Finally, someone gets it. Now let's help Polterpup get that key.'
The humans walked through the gate and into the water. It dawned on Luigi just how murky it was, and it smelled like rotting bodies. Daisy cared not for the dirty water, and knelt in it to get a closer look at the key. She yanked it from the chain, and nearly tumbled backwards as it flew off like it wasn't stuck at all.
'Um, Polterpup, are you sure this was stuck?' She asked.
The ghost dog nodded, just as perplexed as she was.
'Maybe the ghosts wanted to lure us in here.' Luigi suggested. 'M-Maybe. But I don't know why-'
'Ha HA!'
Everyone's attention fell onto a Goob, who had appeared from thin air with a bucket in his hands. He floated over to the stationary Gooigi, snickering to himself. He gave a cheeky smirk to our heroes while he poured the bucket of water over the gooey man.
'AHHH!'
'HEY!'
Gooigi dissolved into a green puddle in moments, flying back into the Poltergust. The rope retracted into the wall and the gate rose back up. Trapping the mortals inside.
'Have fun getting out now!' The Goob yelled, followed by some good evil laughter.
Daisy ran to the wall, grasping the bars. She glared at the ghost, the lights on her gloves glowing intensely.
'You think you're so brave!' She yelled. 'Hiding away from us like that!'
'Daisy, it's okay.' Luigi said, surprisingly optimistic for him. 'I can just use Gooigi again. That's fine.'
No sooner than he finished that sentence did the walls at the ends of the room grow spikes.
'Oh yeah!' Daisy said. 'That looks fine to me!'
As if it couldn't get any worse, the walls jolted forward with a horrid loud THUD, sparks flying off the metal arms pushing them forward. Before Luigi could even think 'please stay there', they jolted forward again.
Daisy grabbed the bars tighter than before, and tried her absolute hardest to rip them off from the wall. She succeeded in bending them, but not much else.
*THUD*
The walls got even closer.
Luigi's head darted between the two walls, his heart getting closer to giving up with each look. His claustrophobia came down on him, hard, and only got worse with every second. For the first time in a while, Ms Gravely's pre-recorded voice spoke to them.
'Sorry my intrepid explorers, but few people make it this far. This is the dungeon where all the worst convicts were kept. No need to worry about convicts once they're squished, is there? You must act fast if you are to escape this trap!'
Luigi's brain hit its limit and snapped. There was only one thing he could do now.'
'AAAHHHHHHHH!'
Author Notes - I had to keep the Bedknobs and Broomsticks reference, but I toned it down significantly so it was only quoted once. One of the original story's problems was that it was a little reference overdosed. At some points, it was extremely reference overdosed. On one hand, it was just me referencing stuff I really like, which isn't inherently a bad thing. On the other, I went way too far with it.
I'll be honest, Hellen Gravely's incredibly fast 'we are not responsible for any damage or death' disclaimer over the speakers might be one of my favourite jokes from the original story.
