Author Notes - Just like before, the full name for this chapter is 'Open the (Elevator) Door, Get on the (Ninth) Floor, Everybody Walk (Away From) the Dinosaur'. Because... I think I'm funny.
CHAPTER NINETEEN - WALK (AWAY FROM) THE DINOSAUR
Luigi jolted awake to the sound of a loud coffee machine.
'I told you…' Daisy muttered. 'Get it ready before I woke up. Not after.'
He opened his eyes, lacking the energy yet to do just about anything else. Polterpup was also awake, and was looking at all the ghosts in the container unit with Parr. E. Gadd, who seemingly hadn't fallen asleep once, was still at his computer.
The princess looked down at him with a smirk. 'So our sleeping beauty is finally awake. Want a coffee?'
'Ugh, coffee… Yeah...'
'Good. Cos I made two. Here, sweetie.' She said, handing him a cup of green coffee. 'I made sure it wasn't too hot for you.'
'Thanks...' He murmured.
He took the cup, and had a sip. Not bad, actually.
Daisy licked her lips. 'Mmm... Elvin was right. That is some good coffee.' She chuckled. 'And I see you've got a little friend.'
Polterkitty lay curled up in a ball, right by where his neck and shoulders would've been. Luigi did not want to wake her, at least not yet. She looked too comfortable, like she hadn't slept like that in ages.
'So,' Luigi said. 'Is she coming with us, or staying here? I mean, she'll do what she wants, but what do you think she should do?'
'She's coming with us.' Daisy replied.
His eyes widened from how quickly she answered. 'Wait, really? Why?'
'No way in the Underwhere am I leaving her with the ghost container unit. Who knows what she'd do to it?'
'Oh. Right.'
He drank more of the Lunoman Greenie blend, feeling his tired body slowly rejuvenating. With the haze mostly gone from his mind, he noticed the bandages wrapped around her chest. Little specks of blood had seeped out and stained them, but fortunately not too much. Luigi stopped drinking his coffee. The sight of blood made him feel too sick to continue.
'You okay?' Daisy asked. 'Oh, it's the blood, isn't it? Sorry. I leave you to finish your drink.'
She walked away, and joined Parr in looking into the container unit. It left him mostly by himself, to finish the awakening drink.
'Meow?'
He flinched. Polterkitty had woken up, and now rubbed her cheeks against his arm as she purred all the while. He scratched under her neck, and she soaked it up. Luigi forgot how much he loved the sound of cat purring.
'You're coming with us, Polterkitty.' He said. 'Daisy said so. Though... it's only so she can keep an eye on you.'
The cat, apparently unsatisfied with pats, hopped onto his lap and perched herself there.
'Uh, Polterkitty, you can't... okay, you can sit there until I have to get up.'
'Breakfast is ready!' E. Gadd announced, showing off the multiple bowls of that old family recipe.
No matter if that rest was relaxing, no matter if Daisy was injured, no matter if there was a new member of the team... they had to keep going. And that meant returning to that museum. When Luigi stepped out onto the floor, he immediately noticed that it was no longer dead silent. Thanks to the thunder.
Luigi jumped and shuddered, holding onto his flashlight for dear life. Polterpup seemingly vanished off the face of the planet but had just jumped into the ceiling, and Polterkitty hid behind Luigi's legs in a shaky mess.
Even Daisy flinched. 'Well, t-that's great. As if things weren't bad enough, we have a storm to deal with now.'
The group - Polterpets included - returned to the grand curtains. Luigi could sense something very terrible on the other side. Polterkitty nudged at his pants.
'W-What is it, Polterkitty?'
The kitty said something to him, in a language of meows that Daisy couldn't understand. But she knew it was bad when his eyes widened with shock.
'Oh Grambi, what did she tell you?' She asked.
'Um, she said that, uh, that part of the museum is guarded by a fearsome ghost named Ug.'
'Ug? Ug. Very fearsome. Well, let's get Ug and then get out of here.'
The quartet passed through the curtains, and the sight at the end of the hallway made Luigi scream.
'AHHH!'
He blushed upon realising that the giant T Rex that awaited them at the very end was merely a fossil on display. The curtains hid a short hallway, lined with a dirty red carpet, that opened up to the main exhibit in a massive room. The T Rex fossil that had frightened Luigi stood on a pole at the very back.
'That fossil is sooo gonna come to life.' Daisy muttered. 'I just know it.'
While Luigi shivered and Polterpup salivated at the sight, Polterkitty shuddered. When the quartet arrived in the main exhibit, they bore witness to its true glory.
Windows that took up almost the entire back wall lit up the whole room with moonlight alone. The clean floor had more, albeit less impressive, fossils on display. To the left was a Stegosaurus that appeared to be climbing rocks. The right had a couple of Compsognathus fleeing from an Ankylosaurus. Two Pterodactyls hung from the ceiling, by the T Rex, holding what appeared to be big rock eggs.
The walls to the sides had many fossils and the like on display, each with its own label. Banners of various prehistoric animals - some commonly known, such as the Apatosaurus, and others less known, like the Meganeuropsis - hung from the walls.
Luigi noticed Polterkitty backing away as she stared at the T Rex fossil. 'What's wrong, girl?'
'Miaooow.'
'Uh, Ug prefers his privacy, and when he's not greeting guests he sleeps in his...'
His voice trailed off. The lightning flashed and the thunder boomed simultaneously - a sign the storm was right on top of them. The hotel seemed to shake beneath his feet. And that T Rex definitely moved. Luigi could've sworn it was looking to the right before, but now the left.
'Uh, w-what was that, girl?'
'Mrow!'
'He... he sleeps in the T Rex?' He muttered in the quietest voice possible.
Daisy and Polterpup were already halfway across the room, apparently not having noticed the old fossil moving.
'Luigi, look! It's Toad!' Daisy declared. 'I dunno which one, but it's Toad!'
She and Polterpup ran over to the seemingly abandoned painting that stood by the dinosaur's feet, their footsteps echoing in the silent room. While Daisy kept running, Polterpup skidded to a stop as he got too close to the T Rex. He could smell a powerful ghost within it.
The lightning flashed again.
'Yah!'
Now Luigi was certain that the T Rex just moved. It definitely wasn't looking down on them with an evil glare before.
'D-Daisy, maybe you should-'
Daisy lifted the painting into her arms. 'What are ya waiting for?' She yelled from across the room. 'Get over here and free this guy!'
Polterkitty shook her head, meowing and growling in distress and panic. Polterpup licked the shin of the prehistoric beast.
'Daisy,' Luigi said a little louder. 'Polterkitty says you should stay qu-'
'This Toad won't be freed by himself!'
Luigi gawked at the T Rex. The fingers twitched - they definitely twitched.
'MROW!'
'Polterkitty, can you shut up for a moment!' Daisy yelled, glaring at her. 'And get away from Luigi before I-'
'DAISY, LOOK OUT!'
Daisy looked over her shoulder, and-
'OH SWEET GRAMBI ABOVE!'
-was horrified to find herself face-to-face with the end of a Tyrannosaurus Rex snout. Despite it lacking eyes, she could feel it staring into her soul. Its breath on her face was warm and slightly moist. She held the portrait close to her chest.
'DAISY!'
Luigi rushed over, forgetting his fears for a moment. Polterkitty cried out and, not wanting to be left alone, followed.
Daisy gave the T Rex a quick wave. 'Hi, uh, Dino Friend? Are, uh, you Ug, or...?'
A low growl came from the T Rex's mouth. Words could be heard within it.
'Leave Ug alone. Ug want be left alone. Give Ug favourite picture back.'
Daisy gave the dinosaur a soft pat on the nose. 'Sorry, um, Ug, but we need this-'
'UG WANT BE LEFT ALONE!'
The T Rex - or, more accurately, Ug possessing the T Rex - unleashed a horrible roar in her face. She held up the portrait in front of her face to shield herself. Luigi, though not the victim, had to cover his ears to block out the deafening sound.
'UG WARN INTRUDERS! UG ANGRY! SCARY BOSS RIGHT ABOUT INTRUDERS! GIVE UG FAVOURITE PICTURE BACK!'
'Sorry Ug, but we need the-'
'GIVE UG PICTURE!'
Ug grabbed the portrait with the dinosaur's sharp teeth, and shook it around until Daisy fell to the floor. He threw it into the air and swallowed it in one gulp. Daisy waited for it to slip out through his ribcage and fall to the floor, but instead it drifted down his non-existent throat. A glowing ball of ectoplasmic energy - possibly Ug himself - lay where the heart would've been, and it 'consumed' the portrait by absorbing it into itself.
'Oh boy!'
Ug stamped his foot on the floor. 'Intruders leave now. Ug spare intruders. But if intruders no leave... Ug get angry!'
'We just need the-'
'UG ANGRY!'
With another roar, Ug jumped up and down on the spot, pulling against the pole that kept him locked in place. Polterpup grabbed onto a calf for dear life, until Ug flicked him off. The ghostly puppy yelped when he hit the ground. Luigi covered his ears to block out that cacophony the best way he possibly could have.
'INTRUDERS LEAVE! UG NICE IF INTRUDERS LEAVE, BUT UG MEAN IF INTRUDERS STAY!'
Daisy backed away, keeping her eyes on the glowing ball in the dinosaur's ribcage. Ug struggled against the pole, the feet dragging against the floor as he tried to lunge forward and chomp her head off.
'Ha!' Daisy mocked. 'Of course you'd be stupid enough to possess something that can't move!'
Ug roared in utter fury. 'UG NOT STUPID! UG SMART!'
Daisy scoffed. 'Uh-huh. Right.'
'UG VERY SMART! UG KNOWS THAT ARGUMENT NOT WORTH HAVING! UG WANT ONLY MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS!'
'Hey!'
Polterkitty pulled on the pant leg of her new friend, meowing and wailing as she pointed to the way out. Luigi struggled to focus on that sound among all the others.
'W-What is it, girl?'
'Ug just wants to be left alone.' Polterkitty explained. 'If we just get out of here, we'll be fine.'
Daisy leapt back as Ug turned around and smashed the tail to the floor right where she was standing. Sweat poured down her face - not that she'd admit that to anyone.
'But we can't do that!' Luigi said. 'Our friend is in trouble and we have to save him. Or at least try to.'
Polterkitty gave him a confused look. 'But... he doesn't matter. We should run away while we still can.'
Luigi's eyes narrowed. 'Is that what Ms Gravely told you?'
The spectral cat didn't answer.
'Hey Luigi!'
Luigi winced. He tried to give her his full attention, something near impossible with the angry dinosaur in the 'background'.
'Y-Yeah?'
'Do you have any idea how to defeat a giant T Rex?' She asked. 'At all? Because - and I hate to say this - if we can't beat him, we might have to leave whichever Toad that was behind.'
Luigi strummed his fingers on his flashlight.
'Green Man!' Polterkitty cried. 'That glowing ball is Ug himself. If you hit him hard enough, you might get him out!'
'Uh, o-okay. How do we do that?'
'I don't know! You come up with something!'
Luigi looked around, searching for any way he could hurt the glowing ball. Concentrating on anything with the cacophony was near impossible. His eyes lit up. Most likely from a previous rampage, a pile of bones rested not too far away from him. From it, he picked up a ribcage just a little bigger than his own with his Poltergust.
'Any time would be nice, Luigi!' Daisy yelled, her hands shaking.
The plumber took aim - a difficult task thanks to his shaky, sweating hands - and fired. The ribcage flew through the air, towards the glowing ball, in a straight line directly to its target. The dinosaur's head snapped around like a bird's head.
'Ug see what intruder trying!'
Without delay, Ug snapped at the projectile and crunched it into hundreds of little fossilised shards that fell to the ground. Polterpup ran up and swiped most of those pieces away, and dashed off before Ug could try to crush him again.
'Ug not let intruders win easily!'
Daisy, keeping her eyes on the dinosaur in case, returned to her more timid counterpart.
'Mind explaining to me what you just did there?' She asked.
Ug stood still, staring at them intently, as if waiting for them to make a move. It gave Luigi a bit more silence, which would be totally quiet if it wasn't for the thunder and Polterpup barking.
'Polterkitty says that-' He tried to say.
Daisy groaned. 'Hate to stop ya there, but if Polterkitty told you something I doubt it's going to work.'
The spectral cat in question glared up at her.
'I assume she told you to hit the glowy thing.' She continued. 'That'll probably just make Ug even angrier. She might as well tell you to jump directly into the dinosaur's mouth at this point.'
'I believe she's trying to help.'
'Good for you. You're trying to be nice. I'm trying to keep us alive.'
Polterkitty whined and growled at the orange-clad princess. All Daisy had to do was clench her fist, and the cat backed off.
'Okay.' Luigi said with a frown. 'What ideas do you have?'
Daisy glared at him, for just a moment. 'Alright. Gimme a moment.'
She dashed over to that pile of bones, picked up a humerus, and chucked it at the dinosaur with the might of a god. Ug batted it away with the dinosaur's head as it was just a mosquito. It bonked against a window, not even breaking it.
'Well,' Daisy said. 'It's gotta do something if Ug really doesn't want us to hit him there. Which means... how do we hit him there?!'
'UG NOT LET INTRUDERS HURT HIM!'
The prehistoric ghost roared at the ceiling in pure rage, his vocals so powerful that they shattered one of the pterodactyls hanging from the ceiling. The egg it was holding fell to the floor.
Daisy rubbed her hands together. 'Oh, that'll get 'im! We just gotta find a way to distract him or something.' She glanced at Polterkitty. 'I say we use the cat as bait.'
'Daisy!' Luigi yelled. 'We can't do that!'
'Geez, calm down. You're acting like I just suggested sacrificing Polterpup instead.'
Polterpup lay on the floor, awaiting an opportunity to take a bite at those bones. Polterkitty circled around Luigi, and looked up at the Poltergust on his back. She recognised that green goo from the security cameras, having seen it turn into a gummy bear version of her new owner. She stood up onto her hindlegs, and scratched at the weaponised vacuum cleaner, mewing to get Luigi's attention.
'HEY!' Daisy yelled.
The princess grabbed Polterkitty by the neck and pulled her away. The spectral cat cried out as she was yanked back. Daisy dropped her onto the floor and got between her and Luigi.
'You lay a single claw on that weapon,' Daisy said. 'And I'll rip out all your tails!'
Luigi, without delay, knelt down to the kitty's level and gave her another scratch under her neck.
'Sorry Luigi, but I wasn't going to let her destroy your only weapon.'
'That's not what she was doing!' Luigi said. 'She was trying to tell me what to do.'
Polterpup looked over his shoulder, seeing his owner and friends about to discuss a plan. He barked as wildly as he could, keeping Ug's attention squarely on him.
'DOG ANNOYING! DOG DON'T THINK UG KNOW WHAT DOG IS TRYING! UG KNOWS DOG IS TRYING TO DISTRACT UG! UG ANNOYED THAT IT IS WORKING!'
Polterkitty gave Daisy another glare, to match the one she herself was receiving. With that done, she ignored the princess and spoke to Luigi instead.
Luigi's eyes widened. 'I... I can't do that!'
Daisy's blood boiled. 'I swear, if she's saying that you throw me into those jaws, I'll-!'
'What? Oh, no.' Luigi said. 'She's suggesting that I use Gooigi as bait.'
Now it was time for Daisy's eyes to widen. 'You have a problem with that plan? That's actually a great idea!'
Luigi stood up. 'I just don't like the idea of using anyone as bait...'
'But Gooigi is just an object you use as a host. He'll be fine!'
Luigi looked at the jaws of the fossilised beast, thinking about his gooey friend being mashed into paste.
'O-Okay. I'll do it.'
Thoughts of the inevitable result, combined with the auditory insanity going on around him, distracted him from the thoughts he needed to transfer himself into his gooey body. Against the odds, he managed to concentrate enough to take over Gooigi's body and force him to plop onto the floor.
'MEYOW!'
Polterkitty scampered away, tripping over her own paws.
'Good!'' Daisy said. 'Now go forward and play bait.'
Gooigi did not feel comfortable approaching a T Rex of any kind, regardless of the body he possessed. Still, he walked towards that dinosaur without any of his fear translating into Gooigi's face. The terror levels spiked when Ug got close and personal, sniffing at the gelatin body.
'UG SMELL... COFFEE? GOOEY MAN MADE OF COFFEE AND GHOST ENERGY, UG THINK. UG NOT TRUST GOOEY MAN. UG PREDICT GOOEY MAN MAKE UG'S JAW STICKY.'
Daisy was about ready to explode, half from Ug's broken English and his unwillingness to cooperate.
'YET, UG NOT SURE. GOOEY MAN'S CONSISTENCY LOOK WEIRD. UG MUST TEST HYPOTHESIS TO GET DEFINITIVE RESULTS.'
Before Daisy could even begin to question how he knew the word 'hypothesis', Ug chomped down into Gooigi's 'flesh' and chewed him up. The gooey substance lost its shape and turned to nothing more than a big glob of gum. Luigi's consciousness transferred back to his real body, and for just a moment he could feel the jaws closing in on him.
'Ha! It worked!' Daisy yelled. 'Of course someone dumb enough to possess an object that's tied to the ground would fall for that!'
Ug would've loved to point out that he didn't actually 'fall for it' as she claimed, but the remains of Gooigi in his teeth kept his jaw shut tight.
'And look at that.' Daisy continued. 'His weak spot is as vulnerable as can be!'
With the cockiest smirk she could manage, she hoisted that big stone egg into her hands, and held it over her shoulder. Her arms struggled underneath its weight more than she cared for.
'Looks like it's egg on your face!'
Daisy had all of three seconds to take aim before her arms broke completely on her. Having already wasted that time dropping a one-liner, she chucked the egg with all her might without waiting to aim. It went high enough to hit Ug's concentrated form like a heavy arrow to a bullseye.
'RAAAAAHH!' Ug roared from the pain, dissolving the goo with his misty 'breath'.
The dinosaur fell back as far as the pole would allow it, while Ug kicked the legs around to keep his balance.
'Oh yeah!' Daisy yelled. 'Take that!'
Polterpup barked in celebration alongside her. Luigi had to cover his ears from that awful roar, but still he smiled. Suddenly, it seemed like their chances of winning had soared. The good feeling was gone when he looked down at Polterkitty. She didn't seem any happier than she was before. In fact, she seemed infinitely more terrified.
'This was a mistake...' She muttered. 'The only thing that calms down Ug is being left alone. But now that we've hurt him...'
Ug roared out once more, this time the strength of his roar being more than enough to cause the pterodactyl fossils to shatter into dust. He spun around and sent his tail crashing through the nearby pillars, reducing them to mere rubble.
'UG JUST WANT BE LEFT ALONE! WHY INTRUDERS HURT UG?'
'Cos you wouldn't give us that painting!'
'UG LIKE PICTURE. UG NEED TO KEEP PICTURE OR SCARY BOSS GET MAD. SHOCK COLLARS DELIVER APPROXIMATELY TEN THOUSAND VOLTS!'
Luigi whimpered, his breathing turning tense. Daisy's yelling, Ug's roaring, the rubble crashing into the floor, the thunder booming... he couldn't take much more.
'You gonna give us that picture already, Fred?' Daisy taunted. 'Or are we going to do this the hard way?'
Ug pulled against the pole that held him in place. 'UG NOT HELP THOSE WHO HURT UG! INTRUDERS PAY FOR HURTING UG!'
The princess chuckled. 'How are ya gonna do that? You possessed something that's practically nailed down. Seems like a pretty dumb move to me.'
Polterpup added onto that with some particularly snarky-sounding barks.
Ug growled. 'UG...'
He pulled against the pole, bending it slightly out of shape.
'NOT...'
He pulled again, this time bending it much further than it ever should have. Daisy's eyes widened. At that moment, she realised her mistake.
'Uh oh...'
'STUPID!'
With one final push, the pole snapped like a twig. Ug lurked forward, now totally free from the bar that held him down. He swung the tail around, making it collide with a window which shattered to pieces.
Daisy held her hands up and backed away. 'L-Look Ug, I'm sorry for calling you a-'
'IDIOT? LUMMOX? IGNORAMUS? DOLT, IMBECILE, CLODPOLE... UG BET UG KNOW MORE SYNONYMS FOR MORON THAN INTRUDER!'
Luigi wanted to scream out to Daisy, but all he could manage was a weak, cat-like groan.
'STULTUS. BÁICHĪ. DUMMKOPF. NUNOAO. IS THAT WHAT FLOWER LADY THINK OF UG?'
Daisy opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Mostly thanks to her fear overriding any ability to speak.
'Ug not possess Tyrannosaurus Rex because dinosaur eat Ug.' The caveman spoke surprisingly calmly. 'Dinosaur and caveman not around at same time. Dinosaur from Cretaceous period. Ug possess dinosaur because TYRANNOSAURUS REX ONE OF GREATEST HUNTERS EVER!'
Ug stepped towards the princess, his stomps echoing in the wide, empty room. Daisy backed away, in no state to jump up and punch him in the chest like she wanted to. Luigi, hands clamped over his ears, couldn't believe the sight: Daisy, his brave and hot-headed princess, now shaking at the knees and looking like she was ready to scream.
Ug roared in Daisy's face, for no reason than to unnerve her. Against all her standards, it worked.
'AHHHHH!'
She ran in the opposite direction, climbing on top of one of the exhibits and hiding behind the big, strong Ankylosaurus fossil. Her heart beat out of her chest, and her breathing was as heavy as a boulder.
'LUIGI!' She shouted. 'HEEELLLPP!'
Luigi's own breathing turned harsh, but not quite for the same reason. His hands remained clamped over his ears. Daisy's shouting, Ug's footsteps, Polterpup's barking, Polterkitty's whining, the storm's booming thunder...
'INTRUDER THINK ANKYLOSAURUS IS GOOD HIDING PLACE? UG NOT FALL FOR IT!'
Ug took in a deep breath, the glowing ball illuminating more intensely. He unleashed his breath as a deafening roar so powerful, Luigi could see the air that came shooting out of his mouth almost solidifying.
'Woah!'
Daisy made the right move, and leapt out of the way. Her knees hit the tiled floor, but as long as her chest didn't she didn't care.
She glanced behind her, in time to see Ug's powerful roar demolishing the Ankylosaurus fossil. The bones broke apart and scattered. The sounds of them shattering and falling to the floor filled the already-loud room.
Lightning flashed again, followed by thunder. The hotel shook slightly beneath them.
Luigi found clamping his hands over his ears to be horribly insufficient in blocking anything out. He held his hands against his head so hard they began to hurt. It only made it worse. The only sound he himself could make was a low, distressed murmur.
'UG GIVE INTRUDER CHANCE. BUT NOW, UG MUST KILL!'
He almost forgot the T Rex was even there.
*BOOM*
'LUIGI!'
*CRA-ASH*
*THUD*
'MIAAOO-OOO-OW!'
'ARF ARF! RUUFFFF!'
The sounds came from everywhere, closing in on him like a shrinking room.
Daisy looked up, and saw a big boney foot about ready to stomp her into paste. Shrieking, she rolled out of the way just as Ug stomped the ground.
'ARF ARF ARF!'
'UG NOT LIKE DOGS! CANIS FAMILIARIS UG'S LEAST FAVOURITE ANIMAL!'
Daisy wanted to scream so, so badly. Shriek as loudly as she could, to vent the panic she bottled up. But she refused to do so with anyone else in the room. She got to her feet, in such a manner that made Luigi look like a ballerina.
'LUIIIGIII!'
She coughed - if she had to yell out much longer, she'd lose her voice.
'Huh?'
In such a situation, she'd expect Luigi to do one of two things: either step up courageously and fight, or run for his life. Standing still in the middle of the room was the last thing she'd expect. She didn't even care that a very panicked Polterkitty whined to him.
'UG DELIVER MORE THAN TWO-THOUSAND-AND-THREE-HUNDRED NEWTONS OF FORCE TO INTRUDER SKULL! INTRUDER SKULL TURN TO PUTTY!'
Trying to ignore Ug and her own fears for just a moment, she ran over to her immobile plumber. She gasped upon seeing the tears on his face.
'Me-OOOOWW...!'
'Kitty, shut up!' Daisy yelled. 'We don't need that right now!'
Daisy's shouting hit Luigi's ears, as overloaded as they already were. His distressed murmuring got much louder, but no less incoherent.
'Luigi? Luigi, sweetie! What the heck are you doing?!'
'GET BACK HERE, INTRUDER!'
The very thought of Ug approaching nearly made Daisy scream, yet again. Polterpup danced around in Ug's vision, moving around and barking as much as possible to distract him.
'UG HATE DOGS!'
Ug stomped his foot into the floor, barely missing Polterpup who was taunting him at this point.
'DOGS MAKE UG ANGRY!'
The dinosaur tail swung again, but this time Ug spun it right round. He missed Polterpup, but tore straight through the rest of that exhibit. As the bones went flying, Luigi cried harder.
'Luigi, you have to get in the battle!' Daisy yelled. 'We might die if we don't try our hardest to win! Luigi? Luigi, LISTEN TO ME!'
'Mrrrroooow...!'
'YOU SHUT UP!'
Luigi jolted; her scream managed to get through his little bubble. When his body was finally accepting sensory input again, he saw his beloved princess about to be flattened by a dinosaur foot.
'DAISY!' He yelled.
His brain acted on autopilot, grabbing the Poltergust nozzle and rushing towards Ug as fast as his legs could go. He used his machine to pick up another bone, taking aim at the glowing ball. Unfortunately, by yelling out Daisy's name, he didn't just get her attention.
'GREEN MAN WITH VACUUM BAD!'
Ug lifted up the fossil's tail and swept the floor with it. It swept Luigi right off his feet and pushed him aside, knocking him down. All the air escaped his lungs when his shoulder smacked the floor harshly, and he seethed through his gritted teeth.
'LUIGI!' Daisy shouted.
'THIS BETWEEN UG AND FLOWER LADY NOW!'
Well, Daisy was having none of that. Now Ug had really done it. Her knees were trembling and her face was sweating, but she clenched her fists and stared that dino down with as much gusto as she could possibly manage.
'Alright, you wanna play these games?' She asked. 'Then I'll play these games! Polterpup, get Luigi to the sidelines!'
Polterpup didn't quite understand what she was doing, but he followed her order nonetheless. With Luigi groaning in pain, the ghost dog picked him up by the overall straps and dragged him aside. Daisy ran after them as fast as she could, with a frightened Polterkitty following her. Once Polterpup had brought Luigi aside, Daisy immediately slipped the Poltergust off his back and placed it upon her own.
'D-Daisy?' Luigi said. 'Are you…?'
'You're hurt.' Daisy said. 'And I don't think I'm defeating this guy without it. Stay here and don't move unless you have to. Polterpup, stay with him. Polterkitty, you're with me.'
'B-But… you've never used one before.'
'Yeah, I don't know the first thing about using it, but I don't think we have many other options here.'
After several moments of silence, Luigi said, 'Okay. I believe you know.'
'YIP YIP YIP!'
'MROOOWWW!'
Rushing back into the arena as fast as the heavy Poltergust allowed her, she found that Ug and the fossil he possessed towered over her. Through the fear and pain on her face, she managed to deliver a deadly glare.
'This better be Ms Gravely's doing…' She muttered. 'Cos then I might spare you.'
Ug said nothing, and just opened the jaws as wide as they would go. He swung his head down upon her like the claw in a crane game. She closed her eyes and braced for the inevitable. But not if Polterpup had anything to say about it! With a triumphant yip, he delivered a headbutt into her shoulder and pushed her to the ground.
Ug growled. 'UG HATE DOG! UG ANGRY!'
Polterkitty watched the orange-clad princess scratch the dog underneath his neck, no doubt for his heroic deed. Daisy rushed Polterpup back to his post, and stood up against the dinosaur.
'UG KNOW VACUUM SOURCE OF INTRUDER POWER! UG REMOVE GREATEST PROBLEM!'
'And you're gonna have to get through me to get it!' Daisy yelled.
'INTRUDER SMARTER THAN UG INITIALLY PRESUMED. UG STILL REDUCE MORTAL TO GELATINOUS PILE!'
That mental image was more than enough to convince Daisy.
'Alright... here goes nothing. Now how the heck do I use it?'
'UG FINISH MATCH!'
The caveman ghost, now furious, spun around, dragging his long bony tail across the floor in a circle. It tore up the floor as it went, scattering rubble everywhere.
'Oh sweet baby Luvbi!'
Daisy nearly lost all ability to think. Just one word was on her mind - burst, burst, burst! Barely even thinking, she mashed both buttons at once. The Poltergust expelled air, rocketing itself upwards. It dragged her up by its straps.
'HOOOOO BOOOYYY!'
With perfect timing, the tail passed underneath her harmlessly. She plopped back to the floor, and wobbled around as she landed sooner than she expected. Her hair was left slightly frazzled. The tail kept going, of course, until it demolished the other exhibit in the middle of the room. All that remained of the Stegosaurus was a pile of bones.
Ug roared. 'WHY INTRUDER STILL ALIVE? INTRUDER MAKE LIKE MORTAL AND DIE!'
This would normally be the time Daisy would respond with some sort of cocky comeback. All she could do now was gulp.
'L-Listen, Ug.' She said in a tone far shakier than she was proud of. 'I-I'm gonna keep going until I, uh...'
'UG FED UP! UG FINISH BATTLE NOW!'
'Oh... I-I hope these gloves are saltwater-proof.'
She backed away, knocking the various remains of the fossils aside as she did so. Ug approached her, so slowly it seemed like he was intentionally torturing her.
'UG ADMIT INTRUDER SURPRISINGLY CLEVER, BUT UG MOST INTELLIGENT BEING IN HOTEL!'
Ug pulled the head back and inhaled deeply, charging up for yet another powerful roar. Daisy's eyes fell onto the glowing ball in an instant.
'Oh!' She smirked. 'A-ha!'
Bits of fossils surrounded her on every side. Focusing on the Ankylosaurus skull in particular, she aimed the Poltergust at it and grabbed it. In that moment - and only in that moment - she forgot how much that T Rex scared her.
'Hey Fred! Ya made one grave mistake!'
Not wanting to waste any more time after her little one-liner, she aimed and fired that skull straight at her intended target.
'Ya gave me tons of ammo!'
The skull struck Ug directly in his weak spot. His charged-up roar became nothing more than a pathetic cry as the impact sent him flying back several feet.
Daisy fist-pumped the air. 'YEEE-HAAWW!'
Parts of the dinosaur's ribcage fell to the floor, scattering away from the attraction they were once a part of.
'INTRUDER WISE WITH SPARE AMMO. BUT UG NOT LET INTRUDER FIRE ANY MORE SHOTS! UG BE MORE CAREFUL NOW.'
Daisy narrowed her eyes, and focused them on Polterkitty. The spectral panther lay low to the floor, backing away from the T Rex, while Polterpup nibbled on the many leftover bones.
'M-Meow?'
'UG NOT TRUST POLTERKITTY. POLTERKITTY PET OF SCARY BOSS.'
The princess sighed - she did not see any other alternative to her newest idea, but she still didn't like it.
'Hey, Polterkitty!'
The panther in question's eyes widened in shock.
'If you wanna make yourself useful,' Daisy continued. 'You'll go for the leg!'
Polterkitty lit up. This was her chance to do something heroic! With a roar, she morphed into her hulking panther beast form, and pounced into action.
'Mrooo-ooow!'
'You want me to start trusting you? Then do as I say!'
'UG SCATTER POLTERKITTY SPECTRAL PARTICLES SO SCARY BOSS KNOW UG MEAN BUSINESS!'
Ug stamped the floor right in front of her, making her yowl and flail her legs around. Polterkitty began to wonder, maybe she was better off with Master. She stared up at the ceiling - it was more than tempting to leap through and leave Mean Lady behind. Yet, she couldn't.
'You want me to start trusting you?'
And the injured Green Man, all the way at the sidelines... looking at him made her feel something she had never felt before. That little ember that had ignited when helping Mean Lady grew much stronger. She pinned herself to the floor, putting her legs in the optimal pouncing position.
'RAAAOOW!'
The panther pounced. She aimed her trajectory just a little to the left, and swung her paw at the femur. With the sheer strength of her panther form, she dislodged the femur and it fell to the ground.
'You... you actually did it!' Daisy said.
Ug had all of a few seconds to realise what was to come.
'UG HAVE BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS...'
The T Rex leaned over like a crumbling tower, towards Polterkitty. The spectral cat scampered out of the way of the plummeting bones as the mighty fossil was reduced to nothing more but a pile of bones. The empty room amplified the crumbling and crushing sounds of the ancient artefact falling apart, and it just made Luigi wince more. Polterpup relaxed his nerves by cuddling up to him.
Once Polterkitty calmed down from nearly getting crushed, she smiled. She puffed her chest out and soaked up the glory. Praise would surely rain down on her now… A burly, yellow arm reached out of the pile of bones. Polterkitty yowled and jumped away, the fur on her back standing up.
'UG. NOT. DONE. YET.'
The caveman ghost, wearing nothing more than a sabretooth skin over his body, emerged from the pile. He stared the kitty down with enough anger to get her running back to Daisy's side. The princess shuddered. She suddenly felt helpless.
'H-Hi, Ug!'
Despite his goofy underbite, his glare sent a chill up her spine. 'If intruder think Ug done, intruder got another thing coming!'
He rummaged through the pile, and picked up a bone club the size of himself with hardly any strain at all. Smacking it against his fist, he held it over his shoulder like a sack.
'Bone crush intruder beneath! Intruder pay for disturbing Ug peace!'
Daisy's knees shook so hard, she nearly buckled under her own weight. The pain in her chest only made it a hundred times worse. She stepped back, shockingly close to backing out and running away. She wiped her brow; no one was allowed to see her like that.
'L-Listen, Ug.' She said, barely able to piece words together. 'I'm gonna... I'm gonna, uh...'
'UG FINISH MATCH!'
Against the reputation she tried her hardest to keep, she did the last thing she'd ever want to do.
'AAHHHHH!'
Seeing no other option, she turned the other way and ran. It didn't even occur to her that she'd just run into a wall with the direction she was going.
'Intruder may hide, but intruder not run!'
Ug bashed his club into the floor, leaving small dents in it, just to show off the power behind him. He chased after her, not weighed down at all by his weapon. Daisy's heart raced. She spent so much willpower on trying not to cry that she had hardly any left for anything else.
Ug raised the bone club into the air, lifting it with such grand speed it seemed more like a hollow plastic prop. It glowed bright red, and the way it wobbled slightly in his hands reminded Daisy that it was indeed a solid piece of heavy rock.
'UG DONE WITH THIS!'
The club slammed into the ground just behind her, knocking her off her feet. Her chest slammed against the ground. Forget trying to hold back tears - it didn't matter anymore. The pain made her forget.
'I can't do this...' She muttered. 'I can't...'
Something grabbed the back of her shirt. She had no energy left to punch it. Polterkitty dragged her off the floor and to her feet, giving her a worried look.
'Don't try it, kitty. I just can't-'
The apprehension disappeared - or, more accurately, got shoved aside - when her eyes fell upon Ug. He struggled to pull against his heavy bone club, which had gotten stuck in the floor.
'Ug... not... really... think... this through...'
Daisy nearly cried again, but this time from joy.
'Hey Ug!'
The caveman looked up at her, his face full of that 'oh crap' realisation.
'There may be more nightmares after this, but I'll sure as hell end this one!'
She ran over to the incapacitated ghost, nearly tripping under the Poltergust's weight multiple times. The Strobulb began to charge up. Daisy couldn't wait for it to finish charging, and unleashed it into Ug's eyes. He let go of the bone club, stunned by the rays.
'Yeah!'
Daisy felt much more confident now. All she had to do at this point was get close, activate the Poltergust, and then...
'OH GOOD LUVBI!'
Ug, the very moment he got caught in the Poltergust, flew around the room and dragged her about with him. Daisy couldn't keep her feet in place for a moment. She struggled to run after Ug and hold onto the Poltergust at the same time. She felt like she was trying to grab onto a rampaging tiger. Her feet slipped against the floor. Just keeping one arm on the vacuum was near impossible.
'OOF!'
Ug freed himself from her suction, and she fell flat on her face. Luckily, she could get back onto her feet quickly.
'Why intruder not give up?' Ug said. 'Ug both stronger and smarter!'
Daisy grasped the Poltergust, gulping to keep the bile down. 'I-I never give up, n-no matter what.' She hated the stutter.
'Ug acknowledge Flower Lady strength. Ug see Flower Lady strong. But Ug no let Flower Lady win!'
Daisy's grip on the Poltergust nearly slipped. What would Luigi do in this situation?
'L-Listen Ug, we really are sorry.' She said, stepping back slowly. 'We just wanted that painting, so if you could kindly give that back we'll be on our way.'
'Ug cannot give up picture. If Ug do, Scary Boss get angry. Unless Flower Lady know way Ug can escape Scary Boss. Ug gladly listen to Flower Lady ideas!'
Daisy smiled. 'Wait, really?' She sighed in relief. 'Oh goodness... you have no idea how happy that makes me feel! Seriously, everyone before now just tried to kill us without even letting us-'
'UG IMPATIENT, THOUGH!'
To demonstrate, he slammed his fists into the ground, leaving cracks in the smooth tiling. Daisy jumped back with a squeak.
'O-Okay, I-I see that. See, if I put you into this vacuum thing-'
'Ug know name of vacuum! Called Poltergust.'
'Y-Yeah, that. If you let me suck you up - uh, put you in the thing - then you'll be with your ghost friends in a place free from Ms Gravely and her freaky powers.'
Ug took on a suspicious expression, and approached her with his fists ready for smashing. She stood in place, leaning back a bit. Sweat ran down her face and neck.
'Hmmm...' Ug murmured, rubbing his chin. 'Flower Lady seem very scared of Ug. But Ug no see other signs Flower Lady lying. Ug believe Flower Lady tell truth. Ug accept deal!'
Daisy sighed in relief again.
'Ug have one condition.'
'And that is...?'
'Help Ug rebuild fossil.'
She glanced at the remains of the fossil. 'Uh... that's gonna be kinda difficult. But whatever ends this stupid fight!'
And with their little deal made, Ug allowed Daisy to capture him without even needing to flash him first. The moment he disappeared with a little 'pop', the entire museum returned to its dead silent state. The only sound was the regular thunder.
UG IGNEOUS, THE CRAFTY CAVEMAN
AGE - ?
GENDER - Male
CAUSE OF DEATH - Eaten by sabertooth tiger
So, you'd expect a caveman ghost to be a quick-to-anger idiot, right? When it comes to Ug, you couldn't be further from the truth. Thanks to his incredibly long afterlife-span, he has accrued fifty thousand years worth of knowledge and is quite possibly one of the most intelligent beings currently out there. He even has a diploma in high-level mathematics! He is very introverted though and hates having his privacy disturbed, as many scientists can attest to.
Author Notes - So Ug's a little interesting. For a lot of the Grand Ghosts, I wanted to take certain stereotypes and play around with them. Ug is the epitome of this. Cavemen in media are almost always depicted as violet and simple-minded brutes, which I feel like is kind of unfair to cavemen who were relatively intelligent. So I made Ug a super genius, thanks to accruing 50,000 years of knowledge.
In the original, Luigi's sensory overload resulted in him running off in a panic. A relative of mine pointed out that it was rather out-of-character for him, so I kept the sensory overload aspect but kept him in the battle. Which is much more in character for him. Albeit, Ug still takes care of him, so either way it's up to Daisy to defeat him. Which was the entire point.
