As he had promised Sakura and himself, he did that.
He may have forced a nurse to let him go, and he may also have threatened her to let him go as well.
He fled.
He wanted to stay at his old home, but Sakura lived there, so he couldn't. He wouldn't go to any of his friends' homes either; he knew they hated him or might even try to kill him on sight.
Kakashi, for sure, put that thought in his mind. He was glad the two most important girls in his life had a protective and loving family.
"Where are you going, little brother?" The voice he loathed and would always detest for the rest of his life.
Despite the pain, Sasuke glared at him from inches away and growled, "What did I say about you ever trying to approach me?"
"What?"
"You killed our family, and I don't give a fuck why you did what you did. And I swear if you try to hurt my girls, I don't know how, but I'll muster up all my strength and kill you!"
Itachi looked at him, really, genuinely glancing at him. "I love you. I saved you and Izumi. I would never hurt your family."
"How selfish of you. Just save whoever you love. You killed our clan! You killed our family! I don't care if you've changed. I'll never ever forgive you, you bastard!" He was boiling with anger.
"Then don't forgive me but don't leave your family again." They were so glad it was only both of them because the screams were piercing.
Sasuke's eyes were red, as if blood had rushed into them in his outrage. "You don't know the reason behind it, and you'll never understand me!" Didn't this all sound like the conversation between Sakura and him?
Itachi pushed him lightly. "And so won't you." He took a breath. "I have changed, and I'm not what I once was. Don't be scared; what I did has nothing to do with you. You didn't lose anyone because you're cursed. I killed them. Everyone you love, and I know you are capable of love, is alive, Sasuke! I know you better than you think I do. Go back to your family and be with them."
"I can't." Sasuke turned around because he knew Itachi was right; he didn't want to believe him. Suddenly he turned around. "I'm the last Uchahi other than you. Kill me, and let's be over with this. Just don't hurt my family."
There was a pained look on Itachi's face, and he pulled his brother into a hug. "Idiot," he said, tapping Sasuke's forehead with two fingers as always.
Sasuke looked down, hiding his tears because he knew he loved his brother; after all, he had done, he still loved his brother. "Don't do that."
"Go back to your family. No First, go to the hospital and get fully recovered. You look like a mummy all wrapped in a bandage." Itachi joked.
"Bye." Sasuke turned around and, ignoring his pain, ran out of sight, leaving Itachi all alone as the guilt of his past enveloped him once again.
Even though it was an order, he killed the entire clan.
Honestly, Sasuke wanted to be with his wife and daughter more than anything else in the world. He wanted to hold them and kiss them and be there for them.
No, everyone he loves dies. He'll stay away from them, even though it hurts. They'll be safe and away from him. He'll love them from afar, watching over them.
His love and way of showing it differed from others, but that didn't mean he didn't love them; if anything, he loved them with such intensity that no one else could.
He dropped onto a stool at the ramen shop he always went to with his friends and cried and cried and cried. He cried his heart out. He cried so much that his head felt heavy, and his eyes hurt.
There, he passed out. Half on the floor and half on the chair. He lay there, with his clothes covering his bandaged body.
"Oh, I've gotta call Sakura." The restaurant owner, who knew all these kids personally by now, rang Sakura and told her about the situation.
Sakura, with a heavy gut, drove to the shop and cringed at the scene in front of her. What was wrong with this man? "Thank you for letting me know."
The kind man waved a hand in dismissal of the thanks. "No problem, kiddo. Here, let me help you." He put Sasuke's arm over his shoulder and helped him into her car.
"Thank you. Have a good night."
"You too, kiddos."
She kept banging the steering wheel with her palm as she drove back to her house. What was she getting herself into? She vowed to herself to never see him again. They had a perfect closure of a goodbye.
A lot of strength was needed to take him into their home alone. Even the nameplate on the house had been changed to hers. This wasn't his home anymore.
He was staying here for just one night. One night!
As gently as she could, she dropped him on the couch and saw the bloody bandages. She walked around the room to stop the urge to change his bandages. Sakura in her didn't, but the Doctor in her did.
"Ah, you idiot." She grabbed the requirements from her office room and peeled off the bandage from his body. She'll change them one by one.
As soon as the first layer of a new bandage brushed against his leg, he sat up on the couch and scanned the room. This was...their house...her house. Why was he here? How had he ended up here?
Oh shit.
Sasuke stood up and said in a monotone voice, "I'm sorry for the trouble. I'll be leaving."
"To where?" She put her hands on her sides as she used to when scolding him. Some things don't change.
Well, he had no idea where himself. "Anywhere but near you." Damn, he didn't mean it like that.
Luckily Sakura knew what he meant; she remembered the meaning behind all his phrases "You can stay here tonight. I know you won't go back to the hospital. Go wherever you want to tomorrow." He agreed in defeat and laid back on the couch.
"Sarada?"
"Naruto's house."
"Hn"
She changed his bandages and didn't know why but sat on the floor by the couch. Was she worried for him? Yes, for sure, she was.
Soon in his sleep, he began to turn and twist, his forehead covered in sweat. She recalled nearly every night how he would have nightmares about the death of his family and the crime scenes he had seen.
"Sasuke, you're having a nightmare" She nudged him, but when that didn't work, after taking a deep breath, she held his hand as she used to.
Abruptly he opened his eyes and glanced to his left at Sakura. "I...I am sorry. It happens sometimes."
Sakura shook her head in understanding. "It's fine." Why did they have to pretend they didn't have a history? That they didn't know each other like the back of their hands?
"Why are you here? Go to your room." Sasuke pointed towards the room that once was theirs.
"I'll stay here to make sure you are fine." Silence. "I mean, I don't care...but as a doctor, I want to make sure you are fine. I mean, you were my patient." This was the old, easily flustered Sakura he knew.
Before, Sasuke would have lightly smirked and teased her, but now he couldn't. "I get it."
"Hmm" Knees were touching her chin as she sat by the couch and went on her phone
From the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw the picture she was looking at. "What's that?" He realized he had crossed the boundary. "I'm sorry I wasn't looking at your phone. I just saw-"
Ignoring his rambling, she answered truthfully, "This was when Sarada and I went to the amusement Park. I like to take as many pictures as I can of her." She showed him the picture.
"It's beautiful. You both are beautiful."
Sakura disregarded his compliment and asked, "Do you want to look at her pictures?"
"If you will allow." Inside, he was dying of bliss. He could take a look at her baby pics.
"Let me grab the albums."
"Hn" He saw her head upstairs excitedly.
Sakura didn't have time to pick the right albums from the huge pile. She grabbed all of them from her attic and walked back to the living room, where Sasuke was waiting impatiently.
"Woah! I'll help you." He knew he couldn't come with his condition, but he still offered.
Sakura shrugged her shoulder while holding the eight albums in her arms. "This is nothing. I've been through worse."
Now she shouldn't have said that. What did she mean by worse? He was suffocating in his guilt. He deserved to die after what he put through his family.
He coughed and swallowed the lump of sob rising. "Right."
She helped him sit up and put the albums before him. "You can look at them. I'll go sleep. Call me if you need anything. I mean it! As a doctor-"
"I know, Sakura, I know. Good night." He stopped her from repeating her words all over again.
He knew he meant nothing to her. Repeating it over and over again crushed his heart even more. He deserved it, he knew, but he couldn't take the pain.
She blinked. "Right." And walked to her room, leaving the door open. From her bed, she had a perfect view of him with the albums.
Fuck!
Shit!
Their wedding albums and all the others in which they were together.
He held those too.
This is what she gets for reminding him of the pain she went through. He'll wonder why she still has them. She is so stupid! Sakura put a pillow over her face and started moving her hands and arms as if throwing a tantrum. She is so damn stupid!
And then she heard a gasp. Sakura saw the view perfectly fit between the door. As if she was watching a movie scene, but instead of a TV, it was on a door.
A long horizontal TV.
Sasuke opened the first album, and it was a walk down memory lane of all their shared memories.
The first album was about them dating.
On their first date, he touched the picture; it was kept with such care. No dust was on it; someone had looked at these every other day.
There were fingerprints on him in the picture. His face, especially, he figured it might possibly be Sakura's.
His detective skills came in handy.
In the picture, a grinning Sakura was giving Sasuke a side hug while Sasuke held her cotton candy with an expressionless face. They went to the amusement park, which was Sakura's idea, and she made him take all her favourite rides despite his groans.
He hesitated, but he gave in eventually; the smile on Sakura's face after each ride was worth every torture she was putting him through that day.
Flipping the page, he found the picture of them cuddling and sleeping on Naruto's chair. That's how they decided to tell everyone that they were dating. All anyone could say was, "About damn time!" Once again, it was all Sakura's idea.
Then it hit him with lightning speed - of course, she thought he wasn't in love with her. Everything they did together was always her idea, and in not a single picture, he could remember making the first move of hugging, cuddling, kissing or anything of that sort.
If only he could turn back time.
He shut the album, but not before pulling out a pic of them standing and drinking with two straws from one cup. He slid it out gently and brought the pic closer to his face, his lips touching Sakura's tiny head on the picture. He slid it into his pocket. He put the album back on the table.
Sakura saw that and averted her eyes. It was too much. Too raw. Too emotional.
The second album was about their wedding.
This album appeared untouched. It was covered in dust, and when he opened it, he coughed as the dust filled the air from the impact of the pages being opened. He shut it back and put it on the seen pile on the table.
The third album was about Sarada's birth.
In the very first picture, Sakura was holding Sarada with such care. Her face was filled with sentiments he had never caught before. But he noticed the sadness behind that smile. This was too much, and he couldn't!
He also took a picture from this album. It was a picture of Sakura holding Sarada on the hospital bed.
Just imagining her going through the pregnancy journey and birth alone while handling all the misery he put her through made him recoil. She did all that alone; yes, she had everyone, but she needed him. Her husband. Her child's father.
How could he do this to her?
The fourth album was about Sakura's 1st birthday
It had a picture with a big cake, and everyone he knew in this village, from his friends to family, was in the picture behind Sarada as she blew the candles.
He went through the other three albums, all with the pictures of Sarada and Sakura.
The last album broke his heart. It was a family album, and it was empty.
Empty.
He put all the albums on top of one another on the table and lay back on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
He murmured to himself, "I'm sorry that I'm a coward, Sakura. I'm sorry that I've hurt you, Sakura. I'm sorry I wasn't a good husband, Sakura. I'm sorry I can't be a father to our Sarada. I can't even call her ours; she's only yours. I'll always love you both." He closed his eyes, and sleep took him, as the tears slipped down into his black hair.
Sakura herself was crying because she had heard everything he said. His words echoed loudly in the pin-drop silence that surrounded the atmosphere.
She could never understand him, and she hated him for what he did; however, she would always love him as well.
Love is a funny thing. You can never truly hate the person you love.
Sakura was awake for an hour, then two, then three, just going through what happened yesterday—a few hours of her life changed everything.
He was back...Why?
She knew why, but God, why was he back?
Finally, she closed her eyes on her side, one hand under the pillow and the other itching to hold Sasuke's hand like they used to.
The scream woke her up, and she jumped off her bed and sprinted to the living room. "What happened?"
He said, "It's fine, it's fine; go back." As he pushed her away, he clenched his jaw. "Fuck, that hurt!"
Sakura's worries were multiplying. "Where does it hurt?"
He knew she wouldn't leave. "Just my arm. Last year I injured my arm hard so I get this pain sometimes. A painkiller should do it."
"I'll grab you one." She opened her kitchen cabinet and grabbed the pill for him.
"Thanks," he said as he swallowed the pill with a large gulp of water.
Sakura sat on the couch with him and stared at her feet. "Does this happen a lot?"
He nodded and whispered, "Usually at night. But it gets better in an hour or two."
"Did you get it checked?"
"It's fine, Sakura."
"So you didn't?"
"Sakura, please."
"Did you or did you not?!"
"No! Okay, I didn't; now you can go back and have your beauty sleep."
Right then, after his yell, she cursed herself for worrying about him. "Ass."
She got off the couch so he could lie down and sleep comfortably; however, unknown to him, she stayed by his side and scanned his body for any signs of pain.
What got her so worried?
She had never been like this with any of her patients.
He turned to the other side and remained asleep. She wanted to keep gazing at his face forever. His appearance was unchanged, yet his hair had grown slightly longer.
Her fingers danced around in place, dying to play with his hair.
Sakura recalled those days when he would fall asleep before her, or she'd wake up before him and would stare at him for hours, taking it all in as if it were the last time.
Sakura settled her head on the corner of the couch and was in a fetal position sitting awkwardly.
Sometimes during the night, her hand slipped into his.
