Author Notes - The Dance Hall is one of the bigger missed opportunities in the game. I understand that it's meant to be a breather level, but it's so painfully short for a level with such an awesome gimmick and aesthetic. I attempted to remedy this major mistake.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE - DEADER THAN DISCO
When the doors opened up, it was not exactly the expected outcome. Immediately, our heroes were greeted with blaring neon lights and catchy hip-hop beats coming from down the hall. Luigi squinted. The bright purple and green lights made his eyes hurt and he could already feel the oncoming headache. The bopping beats did not help. Daisy, instead, tapped her foot to the beat.
'Noice.' She said. 'Whoever this Gloria chick is, she's got some talent.'
Luigi rubbed his eyes. 'Oh. I think I prefer Amadeus's works.'
'Eh. To each their own.'
Gooigi began to bubble and rumble. 'I like this music. But I don't think I can dance. I don't know how to do that yet.'
'Well, what are we waiting for?' Polterpup asked. 'This floor's the shortest yet, so let's get done with it!'
They heeded his words and embarked through the odd yet awesome floor. It looked straight out of the 80's, thanks to its neon signs, rough brickwork resembling an alleyway, and an abundance of 'radical' graffiti.
'Oh my gosh.' Daisy said, chuckling. 'How 80's can you get? This décor is so outdated, I feel like I've stepped into a time warp.' She shuddered. 'That... that hasn't actually happened, has it?'
As they made their way up a series of stairs up to a bronze set of double doors, Luigi couldn't help but remember his promise to Amadeus.
'Um, Daisy?' He asked. 'Should we really battle Gloria?'
'Why not?'
'I promised Mr Wolfgeist that I wouldn't hurt her.'
'Actually, if I recall correctly, you didn't promise to not hurt his daughter. You promised that you wouldn't let Ms Gravely hurt her.'
'I agree.' Gooigi said. 'I watched whole thing. Amadeus okay with it.'
That did little to calm Luigi's worries. As they approached the double-doors, the music abruptly stopped with a record scratch. It made Luigi jump.
'Really?' Daisy remarked. 'It ended before we could get there?'
On the other side of the door was a seemingly empty dance floor. A disco ball with multiple coloured lights hung from the ceiling above the colourful disco floor, which stood on a platform a few feet off the foggy floor. Speakers lined the wall behind the dance floor, each lined with neon blue lights. A turntable stood right in the middle of them, decorated in the same coloured squares as the floor.
'Just when you think it can't possibly get any more 80's,' Daisy said. 'It finds a way.'
Stairs emerged from the edge of the platform, allowing easy access to the dance floor. The final elevator button rested in the middle of the floor, its yellow glow being the only thing to make it visible among the rainbow lights.
'Oh no...' Luigi muttered. 'Not again. That has to be a trap.'
'Then I'm gonna go grab it!' Daisy said.
'Wait, no-!'
His warning fell on deaf ears as Daisy charged up the stairs and grabbed the button. Her eyes sparkled at the sight of that beautiful '15'. She glanced around, checking for any sort of ghosts. When nothing came out to attack her, she wiped her brow and sighed in relief.
'Alright, we're good!'
'YO! THE DJ IS UP THIS HOOD NOW, DAWG!'
The voice boomed through the speakers, shaking the stage lights above and hurting Luigi's ears. The soundwaves burst from the speakers and sent Daisy flying backwards.
'WAH!' She yelled.
She landed on the floor right next to Luigi and muttered several expletives to herself. Luigi rushed to her side and helped her get back up.
'Daisy, Daisy!' He cried. 'Are you okay?'
'WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING?!' Daisy shouted.
A ghost emerged from behind the turntable, bobbing her head and tail to the beat. The headphones around her neck and her pink dress were nothing compared to her massive red afro. She turned the vinyls and hummed along to her own music. The afro was big enough to cover up her eyes.
'What's crack-a-lackin', my homies?' She said in an unknown language. 'I hope you are, like, totes ready for a poppin' fight!'
Luigi, Daisy, and Polterpup stared at her, and just blinked.
'Do you have any idea what she just said?' Daisy asked.
'I... have no idea.' Luigi said. 'Maybe they spoke like that in the era she lived in?'
The DJ ghost took no notice of their confusion, and giggled. 'This cool dawg is DJ Phantasmagloria! But you can, like, totes just call me Gloria. What brings you home boys here to ma rockin' crib?'
'OH!' Daisy said. 'You're asking why we're here. See, we're here for that elevator button of yours.'
Gloria shook her head with a punctual 'uh-uh'. 'No can do, home fries! My boss thinks that would totes be a major bummer. She'll, like, flip her wig over that! Do you see what I'm, like, sayin' dudes?'
'Uh... okay. What's stopping us from just swiping the button now?'
Gloria laughed. 'Cos we got a totes boppin' shindig about ta go down! Ya dig?'
The button began to seemingly float into the air to the tune of the music on its own, before a Goob emerged from thin air and revealed himself to be holding it. He wore a red hoodie just like those of the Goobs in the graffiti, and hoisted his hoodie over his eyes to shield them from the Strobulb.
'Sorry about her incomprehensive slang, guys.' The Goob said, tucking the button into his pocket. 'But she means it. And I'm not the only one here.'
Six other Goobs, wearing matching red hoodies, popped out of the floor and stood behind the first guy, bopping their heads to the beat of Gloria's jams. Weirdly enough, all their hoodies came with legs, despite the ghosts themselves lacking them. They all performed some sort of dance move involving one arm being bent across the chest and the other being fully extended outwards parallel to the first, with their faces being buried inside the bent elbow.
Daisy groaned. 'Oh my god... they're dabbing?'
'Um, what's dabbing?' Luigi asked.
'Just one of the most overused and outdated dance moves of today. I'm so glad you've never tried doing it.'
Luigi laughed nervously and blushed. Okay, it looked a lot lamer than he thought it did when he did it during that Rabbid infestation. The Goobs continued with a surprisingly-well synchronised dance. The six in the back divided themselves into two groups of three, mimicking the moves of the other group but mirrored.
The moves involved a lot of spinning, flipping, that odd 'dabbing' move some more... all quite spectacular considering their lack of legs. They timed their moves to the music, making it all the more impressive. Gloria's music got a little faster and a whole lot louder.
Daisy rolled her eyes. 'Okay, if you could just give us that button, we'll be...'
Then she noticed something very off. Why was she snapping her fingers to the beat of the tunes? Tried as she might, she couldn't stop it. It was like it had a mind of its own. She only got more worried when she looked down and saw her feet shuffling to the same beat.
'AH!' She yelped. 'W-Why am I dancing?!'
'Uh, D-Daisy?'
Luigi was no better. He had fallen victim to whatever the heck was going on too. Not even the Polterpets were spared. Polterpup hopped up and down on his hindlegs, while Polterkitty bopped her head like a happy bird while swaying her three tails to the rhythm.
'Someone mind telling me what the heck is going on?!' Daisy demanded, trying and failing to use her other hand to stop the snapping.
Gloria laughed. 'Take a chill pill, dudes. That's, like, how my bopping tunes work! I can, like, totes force my home fries to boogie down if I want to. Dig it?'
'I don't even know what the heck 'dig it' means, but the answer is no!'
The Goobs danced on like nothing had even happened, giggling like school children at the poor mortals.
'Oh my god...' Daisy said, anger dripping from her words. 'I wanted to go dancing with my sweetie, but definitely not like this!'
'Sucks to be you now, doesn't it!' The Goob at front said, snickering.
Just about the only thing that didn't suck about this situation was the music. It, as Gloria herself would probably say, really 'bopped, homie'. It was like some sort of catchy hip-hop remix of the VB ringtone. That didn't really mean much when said 'bopping tune' was causing them to dance out of their control.
'Kitty, be honest with me.' Daisy said. 'Is this one of those 'dance until you literally drop dead' kind of deals?'
The Panthergeist responded with a nervous grin, which definitely answered Daisy's question.
'Lemme give you the deal here, dudes!' Gloria said, playing her music loud enough to worsen Luigi's headache. 'You'll be dancin' to ma popping beats forever until you dawgs prove yourselves to be better dancers than ma posse!'
Daisy groaned. 'Really? What kinda win condition is that?'
'The most tubular kind, dudes!'
Our heroes watched the dancing Goobs showing off their skills, caring none for the laws of gravity. Whether it was the moonwalk, or the worm, or even krumping, they nailed every move and abused the fact they had no real legs to hold them down. The one at the front seemed especially intent on showing off.
'Luigi, can I be honest with you?' Daisy asked. 'I have no idea how to dance. Like, I can showboat, but that's it. Other than that, I dance like a drunken sailor.'
Luigi narrowed his eyes at the showboating Goobs. With the stink eye of a shooter in an old western film, he slid the Poltergust off his back and handed it to Daisy.
'Sweetie, what are you doing?' Daisy asked, rather apprehensive.
'If they want a dance-off,' He said with complete seriousness. 'Then I'm gonna give them one.'
Still shuffling his feet and snapping his fingers, he walked up the stairs and arrived on the dance floor. All the Goobs stopped their moves and turned to him, keeping their eyes hidden from his confounded Strobulb. The music came to a stop. The forced dancing affecting our heroes stopped as well, much to Daisy's relief.
'I'm here to challenge you.' Luigi said, staring all the ghosts down.
The front Goob laughed. 'Really? You? You're so clumsy you trip over blades of grass. What chance do you have at beating us and our awesome dance moves?'
'You'd be surprised.' He glanced back at Gloria. 'DJ, hit it.'
Gloria shrugged, and played some more music. This was a different tune that didn't affect Luigi, but still had a catchy beat to it nonetheless. Luigi tapped his foot against the floor to the tune. Meanwhile, the rest of his little group returned to the forced-dancing.
'DAMNIT!' Daisy yelled.
'Didn't you guys see me when I won those gold medals at the Olympics?' Luigi asked. 'Surely you heard that I got the world record in high jump. I have quite the victory dance.'
The front Goob scoffed. 'I'd like ta see you try!'
Daisy buried her face in her hands and groaned.
'Alright.' Luigi said. 'You asked for it.'
He got on the floor, and did the one dance move that he knew he could do - breakdancing. And my sweet Luvbi, did he breakdance. He spun his entire body around on just one hand, constantly switching between the left and the right as he spun around. The Goobs' jaws - and Daisy's jaw too - fell so far they nearly broke. Luigi kept the flawless breakdancing up long enough to convince the whole lot of them that he was not a human but instead some sort of dancing machine.
'You... you can do that?!' Daisy exclaimed.
Just to further show off his skills, he moved from spinning around on the floor to twirling about on a one-handed handstand in one quick movement that was smoother than melted butter, so quickly that a single blink was all that was needed to miss it. When he did it long enough, he sprung off the floor and landed on his feet with the precision of a cat.
'Your move, ghosties.' He said.
The Goobs - and Daisy - stared at him, totally stunned. The music had come to an abrupt stop too. The Goob out in front regained his composure and laughed.
'So?' He asked. 'We can do that and more!'
'Yeah, but can you do it with these?' Luigi asked, pointing at his legs.
The crowd stared at him in silence. The front Goob in particular stammered out something incoherent, before he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.
'Um, he's got a point there.' One of the Goobs in the back said.
'SHUT UP, STEVE!' He sighed. 'Fine! I'd hate to admit it, but doing something like that with legs? Oh, heck no! We admit defeat...'
Daisy stepped onto the floor and grinned. 'Now give us that button.'
The Goob shrugged. 'Sorry missy, but I'm afraid that isn't possible. You just won the first phase.'
Daisy's eye twitched. The Goobs vanished into thin air, throwing the button between themselves before tossing it towards their 'boss'. Gloria grabbed onto the button as it soared past her, and stuffed it into a pocket.
In a move that seemed impossible, Gloria lifted her afro up from her eyes, revealing them for the world to see. She winked at our heroes with a cheeky smile.
'Now you're some really rockin' dudes!' She yelled. 'You are, like, totes boppin' to the-!'
It was then that she finally got a good look at Luigi and Daisy. Her expression of blissful excitement twisted into blind fury.
'Wait a minute... you dawgs ain't some ghostly home fries. You're those totes grody mortals who hurt my Daddy-O!'
Daisy did a double-take. 'You... you didn't know that until now?'
'That's totes uncool! What did my Daddy-O do to you?'
Like the pianist before her, her aura shifted from a soft orange to an intense red. She slammed her fists into her turntable, sending the vinyls on it flying.
'Your grody abuse of ma Daddy-O is totes wack!' She yelled. 'I'm gonna, like, learn you lesson for messin' with ma home skillets!'
'Awesome.' Daisy said. 'Now in English.'
'I need to tell the professor to give the translator an extra language...' Luigi murmured.
Just like her father down on floor four, Gloria did not settle with fighting our heroes head on. She followed in her father's footsteps and jumped into her instrument. This time, it was her turntable.
Polterkitty's eyes widened. 'Oh no...'
'Do I want to know?' Luigi asked.
'I've never seen her do this before.' Polterkitty explained. 'She usually just jumps on the dance floor and takes mortals out directly.'
'Oh no…'
A red aura exuded from the turntable and the speakers too. The voice coils of half the speakers moved to the sides of the diaphragms and 'stared' directly at our heroes like they were glowing red eyes.
'Oh god!' Daisy yelped.
The other half of the speakers sprouted plastic teeth and roared like a massive beast. Instead of an animalistic roar, it was a disjointed mess of notes vaguely resembling disco music. It was so ear-drum-shatteringly loud that both Luigi and Daisy had to cover their ears.
The two vinyls moved themselves back into place on the turntable, and stood on their sides to resemble eyes. The 'lid' of the turntable opened and revealed even more teeth. It looked just like the piano beast after Amadeus possessed his instrument, but with a disco twist.
'You think you can just chill in ma crib after you messed with ma Daddy-O?' Gloria's voice boomed from the speakers. 'Get bent!'
She opened her 'mouth' and, like her father, spewed out objects from her throat. Instead of lit bombs, however, rapidly spinning vinyls came out instead. They flew across the room, aiming for the heads of the mortals.
'AHHH!' They screamed at once.
They ducked out of the way just in time. Daisy saw, to her horror, strands of her hair falling to the floor. Luigi noticed that one of the curls in the back of her hair had been sliced off.
'Not to be one of those stereotypical women who freak out when they chip a nail or whatever,' Daisy said. 'But I'm really pissed off now!'
The DJ did not settle with merely cutting hair and fired her vinyls off again. Luigi and Daisy jumped out of the way, and Luigi nearly had a heart attack when one of them passed by his face and missed his eyes by just an inch. Gloria fired off another round. Polterkitty got between the turntable and the mortals, and slashed the vinyls to pieces.
'Whatcha doin', Cool Cat?' Gloria demanded. 'You think you can go over to the flip side like that?'
'ROWWARR!'
Daisy groaned. 'We're not gonna get anywhere if we just sit here and dodge her attacks all night. We gotta make a move!' She cracked her knuckles. 'I'm going in.'
She took one step forward, but Gloria had other plans. She spewed out more vinyls, but these were not used as buzz saws. The spinning records of death created a wall between Daisy and the turntable, and spun around so fast they began to catch on fire. The princess gulped, and tried to calculate the chances of her making the jump over. She decided it was not worth the risk.
'H-How do we force her out?!' Luigi asked. 'With Amadeus, he threw bombs at us. What are we supposed to do with spinning records?!'
'We destroy them, that's what!' Daisy yelled. 'Scatter these dang things with a burst!'
Luigi obeyed her order, ran to her side, and activated a burst. The surge of air threw the vinyls into the air and back into the floor, where they exploded into shards and burning dust. The dust scattered throughout the air.
'Now we can actually-!' Daisy tried to say, only to be interrupted by a sneezing fit.
The dust in the air was worse than anything that either mortal had encountered before. It sent them both into a fit of sneezing, so intense they could barely even stand up, and made their eyes water so badly that they could barely see anything. The ghostly animals didn't fare any better. Luigi and his animal friends ran out of the dust cloud, but Daisy tried her hardest to stand her ground.
'W-What the heck is... i... ah... AAH-CHOOO! ... is this stuff?!' She asked, wiping her watery eyes.
She gave up on trying to brave the dust and joined her teammates on the foggy floor instead. Luigi was still sneezing into his elbow, and quite violently too.
'Wonderful. Just wonderful.' Daisy said with the most sarcasm that night. 'What the heck are we supposed to be able to do?! That weird dust makes my eyes water like crazy! It's damn near impossible to see anything, and for all we know there could be a vinyl waiting to cut our heads off! Do you think the diplomatic route could work?'
Luigi, finally able to breathe, whimpered. 'It didn't work so well for Amadeus when he was really angry until we disarmed him. If Gloria is nearly as angry as he was, I don't think I'll be able to get to her.'
Gloria, not one to back down, launched more vinyls that flew out of the dust cloud. Luigi and Daisy had just enough time to duck out of the way, and they cut right through the wall and disappeared. The speakers unleashed another deafening cry of anger.
Daisy grinded her teeth. 'Okay, now she's REALLY starting to piss me off! I'm not gonna stand for it!'
'But how are we going to stop her?' Luigi asked. 'We don't have any bombs to deflect back at her, and the records are too dangerous to even touch! I... I don't think we have anything to use against her!'
'Big bro still has me.' Gooigi said.
The voice of his gooey counterpart distracted Luigi for a moment.
'Gooigi...' He murmured. 'Gooigi! Daisy, I have an idea!'
'I'm all ears to hear it, sweetie!'
While Luigi and Daisy had their little discussion, Polterpup and Polterkitty worked together to keep the dangerous records away from their mortal friends. Polterkitty cringed as one sliced into her chest - it left no mark on her ghostly skin, but it still hurt nonetheless.
'I think I know what we can do!' Luigi declared. 'We won't be able to get to Gloria, but I think that Gooigi can! The saws will pass through his body harmlessly, and I don't think that the dust will make him sneeze either.'
Daisy smiled. 'Oh my god, that's a brilliant plan! That's why you're our idea guy. But what is he gonna do by the time he gets to her?'
Luigi did not have an answer to that, but fortunately Gooigi did.
'Big bro remember when big bro used me to jam dinosaur's jaws? Do the same with Gloria! I jam her jaws, so she can't shoot records anymore.'
Luigi gasped, and grinned. 'That's a great idea!' He paused. 'Are you okay with doing that?'
'Was okay with it when I did it to dinosaur. I will always be okay to do it, just for big bro. It doesn't hurt me at all. I don't feel pain that much. I can do it. For big bro.'
The plumber inhaled slowly. 'Okay. If you want to do it, do it.'
Gooigi deployed himself, snapping his fingers to the music even though he wasn't being compelled to. With the Polterpets still guarding the mortals from the vinyls, Gooigi walked up the steps between them and onto the dance floor. Oh, how that gooey man loved music - it was the first audio stimuli he had ever got to experience. The speaker-eyes stared at him alone.
'Who's this grody dude?' Gloria asked. 'He can, like, totes gag me with a spoon.'
She fired just one vinyl aimed for his neck. He continued walking forward like it wasn't there at all, even when it cut his neck and his head fell to the floor. Luigi and Daisy gasped in horror, but Gooigi kept on chugging. In seconds, his decapitated head dissolved into a puddle of goop and reformed drop by drop on his neck. The possessed turntable gasped.
Still refusing to give up, she created another wall of spinning death. Gooigi didn't stop moving. He dislodged the records into the air using his own bursting Poltergoo, and the dust clouds didn't affect him at all. He didn't even need to see through it when he could see her ghostly aura clear as day.
'How are you, like, doing that?!' Gloria demanded. 'That's, like, totes not cool dude!'
She spat out the vinyls in a rapid-fire manner. One shot from her 'mouth' every second, but none could stop Gooigi. They sliced off a hand, a leg, his head again, even the Poltergoo itself, but he acted like they didn't even exist.
Gloria growled. 'That's, like, totes not tubular! You're, like, ruinin' my groove. If I can't, like, cut you to pieces, I'll just chomp ya to pieces instead!'
If Gooigi had a mouth, he would've smiled. The turntable opened her 'jaws' up wide, and Gooigi gladly tossed himself inside. Luigi cringed as he was reduced to a pile of goop. Gloria chomped him into mush, and only then did she realise what a bad idea that was.
'Oh...'
Though she could still speak thanks to talking through the speakers, she couldn't fire out any more spinning projectiles. Seeing that Daisy was approaching her, she screamed out in rage through her speakers. Daisy stood her ground, even though the sound waves were as powerful as a gale.
'GLORIA!' She shouted over the disjointed music. 'If you don't get out here right now, I'm gonna hafta smash your turntable to smithereens!'
'Didn't ya hear me, sucker? You hurt ma Daddy-O!'
Daisy turned her head and saw Luigi leaning up against the wall, clamping his hands over his ears as tight as he could. Polterpup and Polterkitty yowled.
'Okay, that's it...' The princess muttered.
The lights on her Phantasma-Gloves shone brightly, and she pushed against the mighty soundwaves. She could hear Gloria's voice growing hoarse, but the DJ did not stop screaming. Daisy cared none for it, and kept on walking.
'GET OUT OF MA PAD, YA FLOOZY!'
Daisy had no idea what 'floozy' could've possibly meant, but she knew it wasn't a compliment. She didn't stop until she got within arm's reach of the turntable. Once there, she picked up the two vinyls on it and smashed them to pieces in her hands. The screaming from the speakers stopped, replaced with a tearful gasp.
She lifted up her fists and slammed them into the turntable with a mighty yell.
'NO!' Gloria yelled.
The turntable was reduced to nothing but a pile of dust on the floor the moment Daisy bashed it. The pieces scattered everywhere as plastic and glass shards went flying. One of the shards sliced Daisy's forehead as it flew up, but she was too hyped on adrenaline to notice. Once the dust settled, all that remained of the possessed turntable was the shattered debris and a dazzled DJ ghost in the middle of it, allowing Gooigi to return home.
Daisy was about ready to punch the ghost herself, but Gloria was never one to lay down for more than a few seconds. She got to her 'feet', pulled two vinyls out of her wig and held them like ninja stars. The princess jumped back and swore to herself.
Gloria gritted her teeth, and hid her eyes behind her afro. 'You dudes think you can just, like, mosey on into ma crib? You're totes worse than the fuzz! You're really crusin' for a bruisin' now!'
Daisy jumped away. Gloria held onto her last two records and spun around like a toy top, putting Chef Soulfflé's spinning back in the restaurant to shame. The edges of her vinyls glowed red hot, so much so that tiny embers and smoke emitted from them. Daisy gave her a nervous smile and immediately turned around to run away.
Luigi, on the other hand, was sick of having to sit out of this battle and rejoined his princess on the battlefield. Before he could regret his decision, Polterpup joined him on the stage and stopped her spinning by just grabbing onto one of the vinyls.
Gloria did not approve. 'Let go of that, ya mutt!'
Polterpup yanked on the record and growled like a guard dog defending his territory. Gloria snarled at him, and simply let go of the vinyl. He went flying backwards until he crashed into one of the seats.
'Boy!' Luigi cried.
'Alright, honey,' Daisy said, putting her hands on her hips. 'Give us that final button and we'll leave!'
'No way José!' The disc jockey yelled. 'Not after you totes wrecked ma rockin' turntable and hurt ma Daddy-O. I'm not letting a coupla squares like you defeat me, especially when I'm, like, the last home fry left!'
With just one vinyl to work with, she wound it up and aimed directly for Daisy's neck. Daisy yelped, and held up her hands in defence. The edges of the vinyl harmlessly clanked against the Phantasma-Gloves, so Gloria aimed for her legs instead. Luigi reacted fast and activated a burst right at the ghost's 'feet'.
What happened next was not quite what anyone was expecting.
'AH!' Gloria shrieked.
Her massive afro fell to the floor.
'That... that was a wig?!' Daisy exclaimed.
Gloria's hands shot for her head. With her gigantic wig gone, it revealed her real hair beneath it. It was nothing like the impressive afro; not even close. All that remained on her head was very, very short brown hair.
'No...' Gloria muttered. 'No no NO!'
At that moment, the confident DJ Phantasmagloria forgot about the battle. She covered her short hair in shame, not even looking our heroes in the eye.
'Y-You weren't supposed to see that!' She pleaded. 'My real hair is totes grody!'
Luigi and Daisy stepped back. Polterpup pitied her too much to laugh about it.
'What is up with her?' Daisy asked.
Polterkitty sauntered onto the dance floor, quietly so as to not disturb the distressed DJ. 'Mro-ooo-oow.'
Luigi gasped. 'Oh! Polterkitty says that's as long as her hair ever grew when she was alive, cos of a condition of some kind. She buys those wigs to cover it up.'
Daisy put everything aside for just a moment, and looked upon the crying ghost. It made her shudder - it was like looking into a mirror, and she hated it.
'What are you talking about, Gloria?' Luigi asked. 'Your hair looks just fine. It's okay to prefer wearing a wig, but you shouldn't feel ashamed of your real hair.'
The distressed disc jockey began to weep. 'O-Oh, my foozy of a boss was totes right. I'm, like, pathetic to the max.'
'What?! No you're not. You nearly killed the both of us! What are you saying?'
Gloria sniffled and wiped her eyes. 'S-She only gave me this final button because she thought you would defeat me easily. After what you did to my Daddy-O, I wanted to prove her wrong. Now I-I can't even... even...' She wailed. 'I just can't even!'
Luigi knelt down to her level and put his hand on her shoulder. To his surprise, his hand did not pass through her skin. She flinched, but otherwise did not react.
'I-I just wanna see my Daddy-O again...' She growled. 'If my Daddy-O was here, he'd give you both a knuckle sandwich.'
'Oh, trust me.' Daisy said. 'He nearly did. He almost killed us! And maybe gave me post-piano-stress disorder.'
'Post-piano-what?'
'The point is, we've dealt with your father. And he was powerful. He nearly killed us both, and only because your boss claimed that we hurt you somehow.'
The mention of her father made her gasp.
'That wench!' She yelled, fuming. 'It's totes her fault! How could she, like, tell my Daddy-O that you hurt me? She knows how much that, like, terrifies him! Grrr... if that wench thinks she can mess with my dad, she's gonna totes be proven wrong!' She turned to our heroes. 'If you dudes can remove her from our crib, I'll consider you a coupla homies. Think you can, like, do that?'
'That's been our goal, Gloria.' Luigi said. 'After she took my brother away from me, Daisy and I promised to take her down. Not just for ourselves, but for you and your friends too.'
'Wait... does that, like, mean you didn't wanna hurt us?'
'I never wanted to hurt you, but your boss has forced me too. If you accept, we can send you back into the vault without hurting you anymore. We just need that button before you go.'
That seemed to brighten her spirit, pun not intended. She yanked out that fifteenth button and tossed it at our heroes. Daisy caught it after fumbling for a bit. Gloria picked up the nozzle of the Poltergust, and aimed it at her face.
'So, how do you, like, work this thingy?' She asked.
She pressed one of the buttons at random, which happened to be the suction button. In other words, she accidentally captured herself, to which our heroes did not complain. After all, that made things much easier.
'I kinda liked her.' Gooigi said. 'Seemed nice.'
Luigi and Daisy stared at the button in the latter's hands. It seemed like a dream that they would soon wake up from. The final button was right there, in their grasp. They couldn't believe that this nightmare only had one more floor to go.
Daisy gulped. 'You ready, Sweetie?'
Luigi shook his head. 'We should definitely have another rest first. Lord knows what the heck we're gonna encounter.'
'I second that.' She sighed, a little joyously. 'But you know what? I'm kinda happy. While all the Goobs and stuff are still unaccounted for, I think we're saved all these Grand Ghosts. We're freed them, Luigi. How does that make you feel?'
Luigi smiled. That was all the answer she needed. The quintet - we're counting Gooigi now - headed back for the elevator. Most of them were relieved at the mere thought of ending this nightmare, but Polterkitty was not so excited to return to the penthouse.
In fact, she dreaded it.
Amadeus waited by the vault entry, ignoring the rest of the world around him. Johnny was ecstatic to be reunited with his boyfriend, and Amadeus was very happy for him, but the old pianist had a very special someone he was waiting for.
'Come on...' He muttered. 'Beeile dich, Luigi! Sag mir von Gloria ist okay!'
Everyone else was with their loved ones, and Amadeus couldn't be more proud of it. The Hayseed twins were already up to playing tricks with the Twisted Sisters on Chambrea, who had threatened to kill them not just a second time but a third as well.
'GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!' Chambrea screamed at Ginny, who just got done with painting her face rainbow.
'You'll have ta make me, ya bloody w-'
'Call me a 'wanker' one more time, and I will rip you to shreds!'
Clem chuckled. 'Like y'all would ever hurt a child!' He paused. 'Ackshully... Ah think ya would.'
William and Serpci continued spouting their sickeningly sweet similes at each other, to which Johnny and Steward could both agree was far too much.
Johnny rolled his eyes at the sweetheart couple. 'Can you imagine if we talked to each other like that, dude? That would be totally obnoxious.'
Steward chucked. 'Oh, my lovey-dovey-wovey honey!'
Johnny gave him a playful shove. 'Stewy!'
Fishook, meanwhile, had joined Chambrea in her bashing-of-the-wall. He didn't think it would actually get him out, but he found slashing his hook against the wall to be quite fun. His ghostly animal crew had joined him in their special chamber and followed his lead.
'Amadeus worried, Ug see.' Ug said as he joined his best friend's side. 'Ug understand worry. Amadeus love daughter very much.'
Amadeus sighed. 'Please Ug, you don't need to do the simplistic speech around me. I thought we agreed you wouldn't do that anymore. I mean, if you want to, that is fine.'
'I do apologise, my musical chap.' Ug spoke, in his real speech. 'It's a habit of mine, you see. I just like to make sure that other ghosts and the like get my point as quickly as possible. I do often forget that you do not need that.'
'Yes, that is just fine, my dear friend. I'm just waiting for my sweet Gloria, but I'm sure you already know that.'
Ug's attention drifted to the maid ghost. When she wasn't making Lindsey cry and being apathetic about it, she continued to insult the green-clad man like it was still just a few minutes since he 'stole' 'her' briefcase.
'Is Chambrea still under Hellen Gravely's mind control?' Ug asked. 'I do believe that the ghost-proof walling of both inside and outside this vault not only keeps us in, but keeps Ms Gravely's mind tricks out.'
'If you want me to be honest,' Amadeus replied. 'I don't think she was ever under Ms Gravely's control to begin with. Our boss barely remembers that our maid friend even exists anymore. I'm certain that Chambrea was just being her usual overly-aggressive self.'
'Ah. Of course. Many mortal lives were lost thanks to her alone. You'd think our boss would give her recognition for that. Or at least money. Yet, she most likely doesn't pay her on purpose.'
It seemed like hours had passed since that conversation, when in reality it was just a few seconds, until the final ghost dropped into the vault. Amadeus recognised her before she even stopped tumbling.
'Gloria!' He cried. 'My precious Gloria!'
He rushed into an embrace, holding her as close as he could manage, like he could lose her again at any moment. It took her by surprise, but she quickly returned the hug.
'I was so worried...' He said. 'After Johnny told us that Hellen was starting to get rid of us one by one, I... I worried that she may have gotten you.' Tears flowed from his eyes, and he made no effort to hide it. 'I've lost so many children, Gloria. I-I did not want you to be another one.'
Gloria giggled. 'Don't worry, Daddy-O! That ol' floozy'll never keep me down.'
'Luigi did not hurt you at all, did he? More than was necessary, at least?'
'Nope! That rockin' green cat was totes cool! Even when it came to my... grody hair.'
Amadeus hadn't even noticed that her wig was missing, but he did not care. The other ghosts left the two alone, congregating in another part of the massive room away from them. After all, Amadeus needed time to let it sink in that his precious daughter had been returned to him. Except for Chambrea - she would never stop trying to bash her way out. Fishook's crew stayed behind with her, just for the fun of it.
'What do we do now?' Kruller asked. 'Wit' da green bud climbin' up to our boss's office, what can we do?'
'Yeah!' Steward said. 'I'm sick of just sitting here and fighting among ourselves. We gotta do something!'
They all turned to Serpci, their obligatory leader. The pharaoh ghost flinched, and cleared her throat.
'I am sorry, my friends.' She said. 'But I do not know what we can possibly do now.'
'Ghosts locked inside vault.' Ug explained. 'Maybe tell Green Man to free us, but Ug don't think Green Man will listen.'
'Fair dinkum, mate?' Fishook remarked. 'You seriously think Green Man wouldn't free us? I'm more concerned about the orange sheila and that professor guy. I doubt they'll just let us out.'
'So we just have to sit here while that green kid gets himself killed?' Ginny asked. 'You bloody kidding?! I don't care what that smart-ass says - I'm gonna demand he frees us!'
Chef Gordon sighed. 'You idiots... do you not see zat we are safer in here? We could become victims to Ms Gravely's mind control if we are freed.'
Lindsey gasped. 'We can't have that! I don't want you guys to hurt him... I don't want ME to hurt him!'
The ghostly crowd fell into silence. They wanted to ask their pianist friend what he recommended, but they did not want to interrupt his sweet bonding time with his daughter.
Dr Potter groaned. 'I don't know why the lot 'o yeh are even tryin'. We're not gittin' out of this blasted jail, and yeh just gotta deal with it!'
'I art not willingeth to siteth 'ere and leteth the green warrior and his maiden die!' William MacFrights cried. 'As a king, I musteth not leteth me friends geteth themselves killedeth! T'is not right.'
'This is totally bogus, dudes.' Johnny said, sighing. 'It's either chill in here and do nothing, or allow ourselves to get our minds totally messed with. It's lose-lose.'
While most of the ghosts wondered what the heck they could possibly do, Ug found himself looking over at Chambrea. She had thoroughly bruised her whole body at this point, but was refusing to give up. It didn't surprise anyone, but Ug began to wonder if maybe - just maybe - she was on the right track.
DJ GLORIA 'PHANTASMAGLORIA' GLAMOUR, THE EXCITABLE DISCO STAR
AGE - 18
GENDER - Female
CAUSE OF DEATH - Illness
Gloria Glamour has been partying since she was a baby. She was diagnosed with a condition that severely limits her hair growth, and she wears giant wigs to cover this up. Like disco itself, Gloria couldn't quite make it to the end of the decade and died of an unknown illness that apparently killed her immune system. She doesn't let her death stop her from partying down, though! Due to dying so recently, her mind is still stuck in the 80's, hence her abundant slang.
Author Notes - Gloria's 80's slang was both a joy and an absolute pain to write. I gave her a phase where she possesses her turnable for a few reasons. One, it gives her another connection to her father, Amadeus. Two, all the other ghosts that fight via possessing an object are male, and I wanted a girl ghost to get in on the fun. And three, her floor is so short for a boss so simple. I get that it's meant to be a break between two very puzzle- and combat-heavy floors, but it's kind of a waste.
