Nishira waited at the memorial for Kakashi for their weekly meeting. She shivered into her leather jacket; the air was cooling as winter was officially here. After today, she decided she would finally concede and purchase a new winter cloak, her first new garment if it didn't cost more than her pay cheque. Nishira regarded the stone that had many names etched into it, her fingers trailing along the smooth lines, and she wondered who of these Kakashi held so dear, she'd seen him visit this monument almost every day.
"Nishira?"
She looked up to see Kakashi looking down at her.
"Oh sorry, I was distracted, I didn't even hear you approach, Kakashi sensei. We should get started then, I think I've found something from my readings, and I want to test a theory."
As the sun began to set in a deep rich orange, Nishira was on her hands and knees on the snow, that soaked into the knees of her pants. Kakashi stood, only slightly out of breath, which, he thought, showed great progress. Around them both ninja tools littered like an explosion with them at the epicenter.
"You've been studying. You're doing well."
"I… have… been trying… spending free time… in the… library… researching."
She coughed into the dirt.
"It's paying off. I guess I won't have to worry how the chunin exam goes for you. I have every faith that you will pass."
Nishira looked up at his towering form over her. He held out his hand and hoisted her up.
"Thanks sensei. Will you be coming with us when we leave in a few days?"
"Team seven needs me here unfortunately. But when you come back, we will celebrate your success."
He watched her face fall and immediately wished to take back his words, but he was needed here. If Nishira and the rest of her team passed the first two tests, they would be away for a month.
Nishira pursed her lips in thought, but he didn't have to wait long to know what was on her mind.
"Kakashi sensei… do I have to take the chunin test?"
Kakashi frowned.
"Never mind it was a stupid question."
"No, please Nishira, explain."
"If we make it to the third round. Toma said there are usually people from all over coming to watch."
Kakashi frowned he didn't take her for the type to suffer from stage fright.
"I'm sure you can understand why. It's a great opportunity to display the strength of each village."
"Well, then I hope we don't make it that far then."
Kakashi shrewdly examined Nishira and didn't sense fear, but instead disappointment.
"Nishira, why do you think you can't make it to round three?"
"That's not it…" She crossed her arms defensively.
"Then why…"
"I… can't explain. I just, I'm not ready. I guess, I could still be useful to the village as a genin."
His hand moved on its own to touch the top of her head in affectionate comfort. He wanted to complete the gesture and hug her, but she completed it for him, pressing her cheek to his chest, her hands grasping at the back of his jacket. She didn't cry or make a sound, she just held him like an anchor
"Would you be disappointed in me, Kakashi?" The sound came half muffled.
"No. I understand that there are obstacles that are impossible to overcome." Her shoulders started to still. "But…" she looked up at him, her eyes dulled in defeat, she was close enough that he thought about closing the distance, wrapping her scent all around him. He let out a breath and resolved to continue. "A shinobi of the Hidden Leaf need not be fearless, but instead feel the fear, use it, and conquer your enemies. Nishira, whatever is holding you back, I hope one day you'll trust yourself and us."
"Us?"
"The shinobi in this village rely on you, you're one of them now. So, your past might be a little more unorthodox than others, but that doesn't change that you are a valued comrade, and we don't leave anyone behind. Nishira, you have the skills and capabilities of becoming chunin, and a jonin, or whatever it is you aspire to be. But we depend on you, and in some ways, you depend on us, even if it's just a pay cheque and a home."
"Who do you depend on, Kakashi? I can't think of anyone."
He saw the challenge in her eyes and thought about the answer for a second.
"But I do depend on others, Nishira. I depend on the farmer to provide food to feed me, I rely on the owner of the building for where I sleep, I rely on the tailor who sews my clothes, the blacksmith for my headband and weapons. I rely on the Hokage to protect us all in the village, and trust his judgment when he gives me missions, but most importantly," He looked down at Nishira in his arms. "I rely on my comrades and friends to have my back out there, and that includes my students and all other leaf shinobi, that includes you."
"Me?"
"Of course," he shrugged one shoulder. "You may be genin but that is just a title, at the end of the day, whether you like it or not, you're part of the family now. Sakura asks about you, Naruto tells us every time you run into each other, Hibi tells me you are getting along with the others well. The village needs people like you, and I need a student like you to continue the legacy. Just like you, there will be new shinobi students who need guidance and training. You are Imai Nishira of the Hidden Leaf Village now."
Her face flushed a warm color.
"How are they, the kids? I mean they aren't really kids, are they? How is the rest of team seven?"
"Well, not much different than usual, the boys bicker and try to one up the other, and Sakura never really applies herself." He shook his head with a small laugh. "You should come train with us before you leave. I feel like it'll be the last time you train with us as a genin."
"I think I would like that, sensei."
He didn't ask if she had changed her mind about the exam. That evening as she walked home from the training ground, she passed a myriad of shinobi that she'd seen in her adventures. Now team three, Nishira saw three faces she'd seen who had graduated six months prior to her. It consisted of Hyuga Neji, Rock Lee, and Tenten. Nishira frowned at not being able to recall Tenten's last name. She shrugged though; it would be simple enough to ask if she remembered next time they talked. Neji had kept to himself at school, but the teachers always referred to him as a prodigy. His mastery of chakra control was way beyond the requirements of the academy. Indifferent and mysterious to the ladies, like Sasuke after him, he also possessed a legendary ocular jutsu, the Byakugan. Supposedly it allowed him to see full 360 degrees around him and much farther distances, with little to no blind spots. This dojutsu also allowed him to see chakra through the body, using his own chakra infused into his hands to disrupt the chakra flow. But that wasn't all. Neji was a great thinker, he naturally could solve complicated puzzles, and learned new techniques and skills much easier.
Rock Lee, Nishira thought of his name with pity, although apparently it was unwarranted. Lee was unable to wield chakra. But that had never stopped him. Nishira would always see him training his taijutsu in the academy whenever he had a moment. Although, since the academy, he'd shortened his hair to look more like his squad leader, Maito Gai. In fact, the green leotard he wore looked identical to his teacher's. Nishira watched as he enthusiastically commandeered attention explaining his need for more training. His enthusiasm was infectious. Tenten stood by Lee's side, and although whatever they had been doing prior to this seemed to have worn them out, she was also influenced by Lee's enthusiasm, pumping a fist into the air in solidarity.
Tenten, a charming kunoichi, was known for her love of weapons. It seemed every other day in the academy, Tenten would be at the nurse's for some cut or injury she'd had while playing with those dangerous items. But her passion was undeniable, and the instructors encouraged her to keep doing it. A vision of her trying to carry as many weapons as her small hands could hold made Nishira grin, as she had wobbled and tripped over a chain that had escaped her grasp. It became apparent that she'd need a way to store all of them. And then came the giant scroll she always carried. A jutsu of sorts that allowed her to store her weapons in a skillful way to release them when needed.
It occurred to Nishira that this team was designed for close quartered combat, Tenten with her weaponry skills, Lee for his taijutsu, and Neji who could spot the enemies and jutsus usually involved in face-to-face combat. But right now, they simply wandered the streets, done their work for the day. Before the academy, Nishira couldn't even remember one time she'd seen the three together. So, it struck her as odd seeing them so close. Even Neji, through his patronizing disregard of Lee's exuberance, stuck with them, still refusing to go off on his own. Even as they wandered the streets. Neji seemed the anchor to their pace, Lee jumped forward and backwards with his exuberant hand gestures, but it was within the orbit of Neji's surroundings. Tenten was always between them, she moved when Lee did, just not as far, always almost immediately next to Neji unless Lee pointed or said something that intrigued her. They moved as one. Nishira wondered if her squad would be able to move that way. The idea felt warm in her arms as she unconsciously moved to wrap them around herself. She also wondered if they'd be doing to chunin exam this time as well. It would be nice to have some more familiar faces.
Nishira stopped at the grocery store to pick up some items for snacks and meals for the trip. As well, she wanted some things to use up whatever was in her fridge, settling on a brown curry. Nishira thought about making some for Naruto as she was well aware his diet consisted mostly of various types of ramen without a trace of greens except for the puny ones that came with the instant packages. She heard giggling coming from the street and she looked up to see a man on his hands slowly walking down the street, sweat dripping from his nose, despite the cold. The green leotard and hair were immediately identifiable, she'd seen his team just before.
There was something very infectious in Maito Gai's energy, like that of his star student, Lee. Nishira had only encountered him a couple of times, mostly while he dogged behind Kakashi trying to beat his 'eternal rival' in any way possible. The last one she'd been privy to was a paddle game, using wooden paddles to pass around a hane, a projectile with brightly coloured feathers. While ridiculous, Nishira remembered Gai stretching out his hand to whack the hane back at his opponent, jumping over the rail on the pathway and landing in the prickly bush. Undeterred he'd challenge Kakashi again, who'd accept the paddle without acknowledgment and hit the hane to an impossibly far place, sending Gai careening for it, even if it was hopeless. His eyes, though bitterly accepting defeat sparkled as he honoured his own punishment set at the beginning of the match. Immediately dropping down to deliver the 1,000 push-ups nobody asked him to do.
It was a busy evening in the market, Nishira almost didn't see Sasuke walking with his hands in his pockets trying not to get anyone's attention. He looked up once to watch the spectacle of the jonin walking on his hands, just for a moment. For that lone moment his eyes softened before continuing his walk. She wondered if he was always alone. Nishira's memory recalled the excited squeals the female students had always showered Sasuke at every feat of skill he demonstrated, but he never engaged or acknowledged them at all. He never went home with anyone, smiled with friends, he was always just alone. She could relate to that.
As Nishira climbed the stairs to her apartment, she thought she would make all her ingredients and give some to Sasuke. Curry was always a super easy dish, all the leftover veggies in the fridge thrown in, simple, filling, delicious and extremely cheap. The genin pay wasn't very much, but she'd lived on much less. Nishira mentally chided herself for criticizing the pay. With a wry smile she stirred the bubbling pot. She may have lived on nothing, but she never wanted to again. She could put up with her nosey neighbors if they weren't trying to steal from her, besides information. As she let it simmer, filling the room with delicious rich sweet and savory scent, tempting to distract her as she looked over some scrolls she'd been reading to try and fine tune anything before the exam. Toma and Sekawa were both helpful in giving insight to what the tasks were, or at least the past tests they'd tried. It would be grueling, and push her to the limit, but renewed by Kakashi's faith in her, Nishira suddenly realized that preparing for the exam meant she had decided to go. It occurred to her that as soon as she'd opened her mouth to ask Kakashi, knowing he'd be encouraging, she'd made the decision to go right then.
The shrill chime of a timer brought Nishira back from her thoughts, rising to the steaming pot. She packed most of it up, only leaving enough for her dinner, and lunch for the next day. She wrapped the containers with coloured furoshikis, beautiful scarves to keep the food warm. She left Naruto's behind as he lived down the hall, so she would deliver Sasuke's first. It wasn't until she stood in front of the gate to the Uchiha compound that she realized she had no idea where the boy lived. Nishira looked down at the blue fabric she'd chosen to wrap the curry, keeping in all the heat. And she gripped it with determination, entering the gate, but once passing the threshold and seeing the lanes going in every direction with no hint of life through any of it, it abandoned her. The pathways were blanketed with untouched snow. Nishira supposed there really was no reason to clear it, or anybody to do so.
Nishira strode forward on the widest path and seemed to be the most well-worn path. The wind bristled through the empty buildings, howling as it went. She paid no mind to the thoughts that suggested it was a ghost or a monster, or a… lady with no face with extending her ethereal ghostly hand reaching out to grab her neck. A clatter noise startled her into running at full speed, an ungraceful screech sounded from her lips quite involuntarily as she sprinted past two blocks. She turned a corner to catch her breath, risking a glance back to see nobody there of course.
"What are you doing?"
Nishira jumped up, losing her balance and falling hard on her rear. She looked at to see Sasuke eyeing her suspiciously.
"Sasuke! You scared me."
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh! Um…" she looked to see the containers were safe still wrapped in the silk wrapping. "Here, I brought you this." She stood up and handed over the parcel and dusted her pants. He held it gingerly in front of him.
"What is it?"
"It's curry."
He contemplated the package again. Before turning to walk away.
"Come on."
Nishira followed him out of the compound, her face reddening. But they didn't go far from the entrance. The building was within a block. Silently, they climbed the steps to the top floor, as he opened the door, Nishira marveled at the amount of sunlight that streamed into the immaculate home. Sleek dust free surfaces shone brilliantly in the monochrome house. Furniture and items were sparse, just the necessary items. Nishira noticed no sign of personal effects, no pictures, no evidence of anything except the Uchiha insignia on the walls and some banners with shinobi codes of honour.
"You want some tea, I think I have some in the kitchen."
"No that's fine, I don't need anything."
He stopped and looked over his shoulder at her.
"Then why did you come?"
Nishira removed her snowy boots and followed behind him. He lazily gestured at a chabudai, at which he sat beside her after putting on a kettle, the surface a well-oiled metal gleamed in the natural light that spilled through the window.
"How are you doing, Sasuke?"
"Fine."
The sound of the kettle getting warmed up was the only real sound between the pause. After a few heartbeats.
"Kakashi says you're doing well."
"Oh."
"…"
The kettle whistle sounded and Nishira motioned for Sasuke to stay seated.
"Just tell me where everything is."
As his voice gave curt instructions, Nishira gathered them from the cupboards. She placed the tea bag into the teapot, and while it steeped, she gazed out the window, taking in the sights. She saw a gated community, some with traditions structure and colors, the rich cherry wood pillars and sidings, and splashes of red. The far back looked to be a temple of sorts. But within these grand traditional buildings, there were plenty more, modern and square, similar to the rest of the village. It took Nishira a moment to realize that there were no people milling about the streets, and a fan shaped symbol, with red on the top and white along the handle caught her eye. She looked sharply back at Sasuke, who was in quiet contemplation, possibly trying to ignore the guest's presence. The compound she'd been gazing at was the empty Uchiha property.
The cups clinked ungracefully as that thought slid to her mind.
"You alright?"
Nishira smiled over her shoulder.
"Oh yes, just being clumsy. I'll be right there."
As she gathered the light blue cups, Nishira noticed the graceful flowers on the side. Such a design was too florally for a boy like Sasuke, Nishira wondered if it was his mother's set. She cupped them tenderly as she placed the cup on the tray with the squat teapot and turned. Sasuke was looking over his shoulder at something giving her the opportunity to study him. She felt a pang lingering as she the haunting feelings of loneliness began to corner her, and the hardness that she had built to withstand that crushing pressure. Knowing how the mettle of your strength was challenged at every turn. No wonder he focuses his efforts on killing his brother, she thought. It was a light in the darkness, a glimmer of hope of shedding the trauma of witnessing the brutal deaths of the ones you love, at the hands of the one you loved the most. Even if he didn't say it, the stories had talked about Sasuke running after his big brother around the village, idolizing him.
But now that boy, not yet a man, lived on his own, had to take care of himself and figure out everything without another person to guide him. She let out a breath of grief for him. Not pity, pity was a weak and scrawny emotion. Instead, she grieved his loss for him, and the hard path that it made for him, his stunted emotions and desperate need to destroy the trauma through vengeance. Nishira knew without asking that Naruto also probably had to fend for himself without help, marveling at the difference in their approaches. Nishira vowed to help wherever she could here. And it would begin with a simple meal. With a sad smile she heard her words and knew them to be her mother's. She approached the table and with practiced ease placed the cups before him and herself.
"Here, let me."
She poured him a cup, knowing that it should be him doing it, but deciding she wanted the gesture to be clear of her vow, and handed it to him and poured herself some tea. They sipped a bit in silence.
"Sasuke, I'm not going to pretend I know or understand what you are going through or feeling. I just want you to know that I'm here. Starting with this dish for you."
"Why?" Sasuke stared hard at his cup. She recognized the gesture of one she'd done many times before. Avoiding their gaze, waiting for the conditions for seeking them out.
"Because you eat, and there is nobody to cook for you."
"I can make it myself."
"I know."
"Then why?"
"Because I didn't want to eat alone again tonight, even if I'm not staying, at least I know we're eating the same thing."
He didn't respond, instead brought the cup to his lips and sipped slowly. She finished her cup and placed it before her.
"I won't bother you any longer, Sasuke. Please consider it a gift, with no ulterior motives. I'm not trying to poison you."
Sasuke side eyed the package suspiciously, and Nishira chuckled.
"I promise it's hearty and filling. And I will leave you to decide if you want it or not. Before I go, Sasuke, if you need anything, to talk, to train, to sit in the same room and not talk to each other, errands. I'm close by. But also, don't try to be so cool, stop rolling so much!" She gave him a big cheesy grin. Sasuke just looked shocked. "Sorry, that was something my sister said to me once, she'd say I was too serious, kept things too close to home. And she would elbow me until it bruised, and I'd cry."
Nishira smiled at the memory.
"What happened?"
"She died, she uh… was unwell." A silence followed and Sasuke didn't pry but Nishira couldn't help herself. "She stabbed some of the priestesses at the shrine. Just grabbed the ceremonial blade in the middle of a blessing and killed everyone there. And then she- she killed herself." Nishira paused as tears welled up, she quickly wiped them away with a sad smile. "I'll never know why she did it. But she was always a good sister. So, I guess I consider you and Naruto like my little brothers. When I come back from Iwa, I'll cook for you once a week, and if you want, you can eat it at my place, or I can come here and drop it off, or stay, whatever you want, okay?"
"Thank you." He said it very quietly like he was afraid she'd hear. She reached out her hand and ruffled his hair. He protested, swatting at her hand.
"Oh, come on! It's the price of my delicious cooking!" she heard him, just one single syllable of a laugh, short and almost foreign in his mouth, and that was all she needed.
Nishira exited out into the busy street and began the walk back home, dirty dishes waiting to be done before they left the next day. Naruto would be hungry by now. Lost in thought, she ran into something solid, hit in the face with two green poles with orange ends, and she grabbed at them, tumbling to the dirt. She landed on something soft and realized it was a human being.
"I have failed as the Leaf's Noble Gentleman and have blindly run into you. My sincerest apologies!"
Through a complicated dance, Nishira untangled herself from the man she'd run into and scrambled to her feet. Hands planted on his thin waist, he gave her a dazzling smile and a wink.
"I am Maito Gai, the Leaf's Noble Blue Beast, at your service."
His speech was as exuberant and over the top as he was, every word punched with pronunciation. It was hard to take him too seriously even if he was a jonin in the village. It was a nice trait, a contrast to plenty of the doom and gloom of their time.
"Imai Nishira."
"Ah yes, Kakashi's star student."
"I wouldn't go that far."
"I hear you're going to the chunin exams, so soon after graduating from the academy. A shining example of genin's youthful zest for life!"
"I'm not really…"
"Modest and talented, unlike your teacher, my eternal rival, Hatake Kakashi. It was in our last battle that I lost and now am doing 300 laps around the village on my hands. And I must get to it."
Nishira looked up at the setting sun and decided she could spend five minutes walking along and talking with Gai, he was walking her way anyways. Their breath coming out in clouds. As they stepped, the watchers giggled and talked behind their hands.
"Does it bother you that they laugh?"
"Why would it?"
"I mean I guess it's embarrassing."
"Is it embarrassing to uphold a most sacred promise?"
"No."
"Exactly. This is the time to embrace the power of youth!"
He started to go faster, easily leaving Nishira behind. She thought what a strange man he was, but she couldn't help the warm smile for him. He had a good heart that one, his energy was infectious. Soon he was out of sight and Nishira walked the rest of the way to her apartment. Before going to bed she knocked on Naruto's door and offered the wrapped containers, the fabric a bright orange. He leapt in his excitement and Nishira couldn't help but smile. She had stuffed any fresh veggies in her fridge into it, so hopefully Naruto would eat it and gain some nutrients.
Before he closed the door, Nishira noticed a makeshift training dummy that looked faintly like Sasuke. Nishira smiled as the door closed, with Naruto repeating his thanks. He was a good kid. She didn't really understand why the village let their fear of the nine tails isolate him. Naruto was energetic and brash sure, sometimes he lacked tact. But he tried his best every time and just wanted people to notice him, his spirit was kind, he never used his skills and training to abuse others, refused to be used as a tool, and followed his own path. It was truly admirable; he was more noble than most adults she knew.
