A/N: Thanks for the feedback, peops. Yes, I know, y'all were hoping to read the Luke & Jess convo. Well, the results of said chat are in this chapter, amongst other things. Hope you won't be too disappointed ;)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 5

"Hi."

"Hey."

There was a strange and awkward silence after the initial greetings and Jess felt like a fool. After all, he was the one who called Rory. He ought to know what it was he wanted to say. Unfortunately, now that he heard her voice, he seemed to be coming up empty.

"Jess?"

"Right here," he assured her, aware of the note of concern in her voice. "I was just... It's so weird, I was about to ask if everything's okay with the baby, but that's crazy, right? I mean, I just saw you yesterday."

"It is a little crazy, I guess." Rory chuckled in his ear. "It's still nice though, that you want to ask. We're fine by the way, both of us."

"That's good," he replied, but then failed to figure out what came next, at least for a few moments, filling the time while he was thinking about it by clearing his throat. "Uh, so, Luke called me."

"Yes, I knew that," Rory confirmed. "He didn't exactly say what happened, but I hope he wasn't angry with you at all."

"There was a vague, 'You sullied my precious daughter,' vibe at one point, but other than that it was cool," he told her honestly. "I mean, come on, as much as Luke likes me, you have always been his favourite."

"Jess, that's not fair." He could practically hear Rory's eye-roll when she said that. "Luke doesn't just like you, he loves you. You two are family and you know as well as I do that, he looks on you like a son."

"Yeah, but he looks on you like a daughter - which I guess makes a lot more sense of why he's so uncomfortable with you being pregnant with my kid, actually - and you mattered to him long before I did. Besides, fathers and daughters, even when it's not by blood, that means something."

"We all mean something to Luke," she insisted. "You know this. He acts all big and tough - not to mention grumpy - but he cares. It's all because he cares."

"Yeah, I know," Jess conceded. "Anyway, not why I called. First of all, I have a confession to make."

"Okay," said Rory warily in his ear. "Should I be worried?"

"Not really," he assured her. "It's just that whole part where we agreed we weren't going to tell anybody else about the baby yet, you know, beyond your mom and Luke? Yeah, well, I kind of told the guys. Not that Chris and Matthew are in a position to go telling anybody else that would matter, but I did promise not to say anything, so..."

"Jess, it's fine," she told him fast. "I swear, it's okay. I mean, you probably needed someone objective to talk to about all this. I should have thought about that and I'm sorry that I didn't. It is absolutely fine that Matthew and Chris know already."

"Okay." Jess breathed a sigh of relief.

Not that he really thought Rory was going be on the war path over his little slip, but he did not like breaking his word, especially with her. When he told the guys the news, it really had been unintentional, but like Rory said herself, he absolutely needed a sounding board to be able to talk through the shock that he wasn't quite as over as he had first thought. His buddies at Truncheon were pretty good in that capacity.

"What next?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You said, 'first of all,' so I kind of assumed there was also a second of all," said Rory with a smile that he could just hear and picture far too easily.

"Right, second of all," he continued then, "I was looking at the calendar up here, all the book launch stuff and editing projects that we have crammed in around the Holidays. It's pretty tight, so I was thinking maybe we should look at scheduling in that visit to your grandma before things get any more crazy. Also, as soon as you know when you might have any doctor-related stuff I need to be there for, that would be great."

"Oh, right, sure, yes," said Rory, sounding strange.

Jess replayed his own words in his head and couldn't find anything in them that might have offended her. It ought to be all good, not least since he had rehearsed what he wanted to say to her three or four times before he ever made the call. Never had he been so nervous when it came to dealing with Rory Gilmore as he was right now, since the baby news got dropped on him. Well, maybe once, but that was a long time.

"Are you okay?" Jess asked.

Rory bit her lip, unsure how to answer. Either yes or no could be given as a perfectly truthful response to the question. After all, physically, she was fine. Pregnant, sure, but not sick, not suffering. At the same time, she was suffering, from what she could only assume was some weird hormone-based reaction that made her feel decidedly other than okay.

It was so stupid, but when Jess called, she had felt almost excited to talk to him. She was pretty sure he was only calling about baby stuff, and yet, when it seemed his only reasons for contacting her were to confess he had told the guys about the baby and then talk in a purely logistical way about when they might see each other again, her heart just sank. She was seriously fighting tears and losing the battle all too easily.

"I'm fine," she forced out eventually, tipping her head back and willing the water in her eyes to stay put and not fall. "Um, but these dates, maybe I could email you? Actually, maybe you could email me, let me know when you're definitely not available, and I'll try to work around you, since I don't have anything set up yet."

There was silence for a few beats before Jess finally agreed. "Okay, I'll drop you an email, if that's what you want."

The way he said it made it sound like she had hurt him somehow, but Rory had to think she was imagining that. Maybe it did sound a little cold, wanting to have everything in writing. She didn't mean for it to come off that way, but if she had to keep on talking to Jess, she was so sure she would make a fool of herself.

"So, I guess that's it," he said in her ear.

"Okay then. Um, so I'll look out for your email."

"Right. Bye, Rory."

"Bye, Jess."

He was gone in an instant and Rory felt sick, slamming the phone into the bed and finally allowing herself the chance to cry. She hated feeling like this, so over-emotional, so completely stupid. Poor Jess, he was trying to be a good guy, something he was often better at than he ever believed, and all she did was make it sound like she couldn't care less about his feelings or what he wanted. That was so unfair, so far from the truth too. Later, when she had got a grip of herself, she would have to call him back. She owed him an apology and an explanation, she was sure.

"Hey, Rory?" her mom called then, tapping on the door.

She swiped under both her eyes, looking up fast as Lorelai's head appeared. Her mother's smile dissolved into a frown when she saw Rory's own expression.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," she insisted, shaking her head. "I think it's the whole pregnancy hormone thing. I'm fine, I swear."

"You sure, babe?" her mother checked. "Because I can always tell Lane you're not feeling so good."

"No, no, I want to see Lane," Rory insisted, practically leaping up from the bed and immediately regretting it when her head spun a little. "Ugh, please tell me all this weirdness goes away soon. I don't think I can take another six months of woozy feelings and crying at nothing."

"Sorry, hon, but it gets worse before it gets better, mostly anyway," Lorelai sympathised. "Just so I know, are we letting Lane in on the secret? I mean, it's up to you, obviously, but she has been where you are and a little more recently than I have. She might have some handy hints and tips, plus a whole lot of sympathy for you too."

"Uh, maybe. You know, if it comes up," Rory considered.

"Well, let me know if you do or not. I don't want to say stuff I shouldn't to the wrong person," Lorelai urged her, eyes seeming to search Rory's face.

Forcing a smile, she leaned in and gave her mom a quick hug, before squeezing past her out of the door. There was no way she was mentioning Jess' call or how he had inadvertently triggered a crying jag. It really wasn't his fault at all, so it wasn't worth the trouble. Just yesterday, she had her mom agreeing that Jess was much more adult and reasonable these days, that she might even like him now. Rory wasn't going to ruin that, not a damn chance.

"Hey, friend," said Lane with a bright smile, the moment Rory hit the living room. "I found myself with a free afternoon, Zach has the boys, and I thought who better to spend some time with than my very best friend?"

Rory smiled back at Lane, but the expression couldn't last. Apparently, people being nice to her was as bad as anyone unintentionally causing offence. The tears came back with a vengeance, pouring down her cheeks as Rory sunk down onto the couch and just sobbed.

"Oh, Rory," Lane reached out to put her arms around her friend and hold her tight. "What happened? Come on, tell me what's wrong."

"It's so stupid," Rory mumbled against Lane's shoulder. "I don't even really know why I'm crying, or I do, but it's so dumb."

"Hey, I'll bet that's not true," said Lane definitely, shifting to better to see her friend's face. "Now tell me, what's going on?"

Sniffing hard, Rory looked at Lane and realised she would be a bigger fool to keep her secret than to share it. Jess already told his friends and she was so close to the three-month mark anyway. What harm could it really do?

"I'm pregnant."

There was that shocked expression again, the same one she had seen on the faces of her mom, Jess, and Luke so far. There would be plenty still to come, so Rory figured she might as well get used to it. She also wanted to get all of the shock over with at once, because that just seemed easier, so she threw in the other piece of shocking news, before Lane had a chance to get there.

"And before you ask, yes, I know who the father is. It's Jess."

"Oh my God!" Lane gasped, hands flying to her mouth for a moment. "You and... Jess Mariano? Again?"

"No, not again." Rory shook her head. "I mean, not that way. Well, actually, there never was a first time, that way, when we were in high school, I mean," she tried to explain, soon realising she was making a really lousy job of it. "Let me start over. Jess and I are not getting back together. This was a one-time thing. The one and only, and somehow, it resulted in a baby."

Lane's eyes were slightly less wide when Rory looked at her then, but only very slightly. She waited a while longer, hoping her best friend would find some kind of verbal response soon. It took quite a while.

"I'm so sorry, I'm just sitting here like an idiot not knowing what to say, but I... I wasn't expecting this. I mean, pregnant, that's crazy enough, but Jess? It's been such a long time, right?"

"A really long time." Rory nodded her agreement. "Not that we haven't always been friends, you know we have. I mean, it was at least four years since I'd seen him when he suddenly showed up last Summer. That time, we just talked, but then later, he came back for another visit... with his mom, not with me. Anyway, we ran into each other, talked again, and then we... well, obviously, we..."

"Had sex," said Lane plainly. "Come on, Rory, we're both grown up women, one with kids, one well on the way to having one, apparently. We can say the word sex, you know? Well, so long as my mother isn't anywhere in a half-mile radius," she said, only half-joking and Rory knew it.

"I know. I know, it's so stupid," she said, shaking her head. "I should be able to say it. I should not be ashamed of the fact that I had sex with Jess. I'm not ashamed. I'm... I'm glad, actually, because it was a really great experience. You know how much I have always cared about him, and he cares about me. We just trust each other. There were no regrets on either side, I'm sure of that."

"Is that still true now you're pregnant?" Lane checked.

Rory opened her mouth to answer then closed it again for a moment as she thought about it. "Yes. No regrets, not for me," she said definitely then. "I mean, this is all kind of a surprise. Apparently, there was a pill not working incident, just one of those crazy things, so obviously this was not a plan, but hey, what in my life really has been lately?" she said, shrugging helplessly. "I don't know, Lane, I really don't. Jess has been great about everything. Shocked and overwhelmed, understandably, but great. He really wants to be there for the baby, in any way he can."

"And yet you're sad," Lane noted, watching her closely. "Come on, Rory, we've been best friends since Kindergarten, I know you too well. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is... me," she admitted after a while. "My life is just such a mess right now. I thought I was getting back on track with the book and everything, and I still think that could be great, but I kind of put the whole pregnant thing on the back burner, until I just couldn't hide from it anymore. Telling Mom and Jess and Luke, it made is so real. I'm having a baby. A baby that needs a home and a mother with a steady income and... and it feels like a lot. I guess a part of me wishes... and this is going to sound so stupid, believe me, I know, but I think a part of me actually wishes that we lived in different times. That Jess was the kind of guy who thought that, since I'm pregnant, he has to marry me, or maybe not marry me but... but..."

"But be with you, as more than just the father of the baby," said Lane for her, a knowing look in her eyes. "Oh, Rory."

"I know, I told you, it's so stupid." Rory pushed her hands back through her hair and felt just ridiculous saying all of this. "I shouldn't need a man. I shouldn't need anyone. I'm twice the age my mother was when she had me to take care of and she managed just fine alone. And yes, I know, she had Mia and the folks at the inn, but that's no different than me having her and Luke or you or any of the people in town who would love to help me out. Besides, how bad would it be to want Jess back just because we're having a baby."

"Is that the only reason?"

The moment Lane asked the question, Rory scoffed and started to say yes, of course that was the only reason. The words died on her tongue when she noted her friend's expression. There was no lying to Lane, not that she really wanted to anyway, but still. Like she said before, they had known each other way too long to get away with that kind of thing.

"Honestly? I don't know," she admitted, fresh tears pooling in her eyes. "I wish I did, but I really, honestly don't."

To Be Continued...