Rating: T for occasional language. Also see other warnings.
Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.
Summary: Bradford has always blamed Michelangelo for his misfortunes and especially for his mutation so when he manages to capture the young ninja, he's going to make sure he knows exactly what it's like. 2k12 AU.
Warning: Warnings for physical and mental torture in this story abound, as well as for implied and highly disturbing situations. Trigger warnings may apply for some chapters. There will not however, be gruesome details. Some things are best left up to the imagination.
A/N: I just found out from a friend that FFNet has changed the way they email about updates. it is now Opt-in. And you have to renew every 6 months. Or they just STOP sending emails about updates.
So if you, like her, haven't been getting emails about updates, now you know why.
One option you can use to avoid missing that a story has been updated is to Favourite. Then, when it updates, it will always show on your favourites list when it was last updated.
Minnie1015: It's the last thing Leo would want :-s Yeah, it's not the best reason to allow Casey to come by... Mikey has a lot of hard work ahead of him. They all do.
Nefertirix: Sorry about taking so long with the chapter. I've pretty much caught up to where I had written up to when I started posting so updates will be a little slower than they originally were but the good news is, I have been writing for this story (along with several others) again recently :-) Hopefully, when they do find out, Raph and Donnie will be able to keep their cool for Mikey's sake. If they get Leo alone afterwards though, hoo boy! XD
How Much is that Turtle in the Window
ch 41
Cold! He was so, so cold! Spot lay just inside the door, shivering and gasping in agony. His hands, neck and legs were so cold from the metal encasing them that they felt like they were on fire! He'd only been outside a few hours at most and while he'd been forced to move non-stop he'd had zero protection from the elements. His hands and legs were the worst, having been almost constantly in direct contact with the snow but his neck was bad too and he was having trouble breathing properly again as a result.
The last couple of weeks had been getting colder by the night and he'd barely slept, he was so cold. He suffered in the daytime during training because of it but there was nothing he could do when he was always so tired he could barely get moving, no matter how hard they pushed him. The few times he'd been left alone he took the chance to bask in the weak sunshine for some desperately needed warmth and sleep but that barely did anything either with the chill wind that constantly coursed across his scaly skin. Often, he tried to pull himself into his shell for warmth but with the collar, the paws and the braces on his legs keeping him on all fours, he couldn't get in very far and the only reason it didn't completely frustrate him was that he was so damn tired and cold all the time.
He'd tried to communicate how cold he was by emphasising his shivering but it did no good. Either no one understood or more likely, they just enjoyed his suffering. Knowing his Alpha the way he did, it was far more likely the latter.
Then came the snow and his first day being forced to train in it.
Just like the previous night when returned to his kennel after training, he tried desperately to get under the blanket but it was useless. With the muzzle still on, he couldn't even use his teeth to pull it over himself. Groaning miserably at the unfairness of it all, he gave up, instead curling tight to maintain his temperature but after no sleep the night before and training in the cold all day with no rest, water or food since breakfast, he had little energy to spare.
Speaking of water, his eyes flicked disinterestedly towards the nearby bowl. Ice had formed around the edges and he shivered involuntarily at the thought of actually trying to drink from it. Not that he could because once again, his muzzle was still tightly on his face because of his Alpha's cruelty. Tears of frustration threatened but he fought them back, unwilling to give them the satisfaction of seeing him break down. When dinner arrived, he'd finally be free to drink. If dinner even came tonight, that was. Sometimes, when he'd displeased them too much during training, like today, they made him go hungry... but come on! How was he supposed to be fast and responsive when he was always too hungry, thirsty and cold to sleep? How was he supposed to understand what they wanted when they made sure he couldn't understand a word and was too cold and tired to concentrate? He grit his teeth, not that it made much difference. The muzzle was on so tightly that his teeth couldn't chatter anyway.
-:-
It was dark outside before Spot finally heard the door open but he no longer cared enough to open his eyes or sniff the air. Someone moved towards him, too silent to be his Alpha at least but that meant it was likely Three-Five-Eight and he whimpered silently to himself. He couldn't handle that human right now.
[Mhccly whdl, Spot,] the disturbingly familiar mocking voice called.
Dinner, he realised as a faint scent hit his nostrils. The first word was starting to become familiar again but at this point, he really didn't care. He just wanted to be left alone to try to sleep and he hoped to hell that Three would leave him alone for once because he didn't have the energy to take his 'company'.
[Spot? Mhccly, obr! Nbdl pcm jlw hw!]
Spot tried to open his eyes at the commanding tone but the light hurt too much and he moaned silently as he shivered briefly and curled up even tighter.
There was silence for too long and fear made him try to open his eyes again. He only managed a slit but it was enough to see the hated ninja standing in front of him, supposedly staring down at him through those blank, bug-like mesh eyes. Not for the first time, he wished he could see the human's face if only to give features to the faceless monster before him but as it was, he usually could only identify him by smell and voice. Build came into it a little but the truth was, there were a number of others around with similar builds. Spot shuddered and his eyes slid closed again. He was just so tired that he no longer even felt that cold anymore.
-:-
When he finally woke, he felt far too warm and there was a small but invasive presence in his rear end. Panicking, the last thing he remembered was Three-Five-Eight standing over him, he shot upright, looking wildly around to see Mai staring at him, lips pursed in disapproval. Suddenly, a massive wave of dizziness hit him and he collapsed, groaning, to the dog bed below him. What did he do wrong this time, he wondered distantly. Was it because he couldn't do whatever Three asked of him? Because if so, that wasn't fair! Nothing about this situation was.
A cool hand pressed lightly against the side of his face and he pulled away weakly, opening his eyes to slits to see Mai now in front of him.
[Gvxw ylxw, Spot,] she said in a soft voice, [Rbv'ul ollc ulyr hee.]
Spot frowned sluggishly as he listened and tried desperately to understand but it was no good. He felt far too exhausted and sick and he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.
-:-
His bed was more comfortable than he remembered and smelt comforting, reminding him he was safe at home at last. Thanks to a small wooden, triangular block that Leo carved earlier that day, his bedroom door stood wide open, letting in the faint light from down the hallway. Deep, relaxed breathing accompanied Donnie's signature whistle not far from him, reassuring with its familiarity and yet, he couldn't sleep. In fact, it was all he could manage to stop himself tossing and turning with restlessness and disturbing his brother.
Knocked out by exhaustion combined with the painkillers Donnie once again talked him into - accepting them from April two days ago had set a nasty precedent making it harder for him to refuse without good reason - he'd slept for a while. That he knew only because last he'd remembered, Donnie had been sitting upright on the mattress on the floor, reading something on his laptop intently. However, thanks to another bad nightmare about his time over in Japan and a disturbing shortness of breath as if he was still wearing the metal collar, he was now wide awake. The clock beside his bed showed three twenty-one and for the life of him, he couldn't get back to sleep, despite trying for well over an hour now.
Sighing quietly and wishing for company, he finally propped himself up on his elbows and leant over the side of the bed to gaze longingly down at Donnie. To his surprise, Raph and Leo were also fast asleep beside him, having dragged in another mattress at some point in the night. Due to lack of space in his room, they'd pushed it together with Donnie's to make a double and all three huddled close into each other, looking as though they'd become a turtle pile the next time someone rolled over in their sleep.
Mikey stared jealously, wishing he was nestled safely among them but that had proven to be a bad idea over and over on the Umi Ryuu. Even prior to that while on the run, whenever he'd woken up disoriented and panicking over the close proximity of anyone else he'd freaked, accidentally lashing out at the nearest body. There was a reason they usually gave him space when sleeping and Raph's black eye a couple of weeks back was proof of why that was so necessary.
He reached his closest arm carefully over the side of the bed, stretching for Donnie, just wanting to make contact with his brother's skin and for a moment, to feel connected to him like Raph and Leo were but to his dismay, he couldn't quite reach. Closing his eyes despondently, Mikey slumped back onto the mattress, head hanging over the edge in resignation as his arm dangled. Suddenly, his fingers brushed the mattress on the ground and his eyes flew open again, staring in surprise. He quickly leant over the side more for a better look and smiled.
Maybe he could get that contact without endangering them after all.
-:-
The ground beneath his body was cool but rough and hard, yet his head rested on something softer and far more comfortable than his arm and he felt slightly too warm from the soft weight resting draped across his body. Mikey's eyes shot open as he jumped upright to all fours, yelping soundlessly when his shell and head thumped painfully against something solid directly above him.
Fighting his instinct to cower in place, he warily looked up, even as a gruff voice wryly called, "Afternoon, little brother. So why're you under the bed instead of in it?"
Under the...? Right! That's right! With a rush, he remembered crawling beneath his bed in the middle of the night. It was the only way to be close enough to reach out and touch Donnie when he needed the extra comfort reminding him he was finally home and no longer alone. He didn't pull his pillow or blanket down with him, though, so finding them on him when he woke confused him. Though it was probably a little chilly to be without them, he hadn't bothered since his screwed-up hands made it far too difficult. That and he just wasn't used to using a blanket anymore since he'd only ever had a tatty old blanket he couldn't even use properly in the depths of winter over there. Even then, he'd only bothered when he had no other choice, being that it was too hard to get under it without help no one was willing to give. In his frustration and despair, he'd become sick not long after the snow came, prompting another visit and stay with Mai while she'd treated him for whatever he'd caught.
Shuddering, Mikey frowned as he remembered how at the time he hadn't been able to understand more than a few words thanks to fairly recent 'treatment'. As his health began improving, he'd started picking up human language again thanks to being exposed to them talking in Mai's surgery but she'd soon realised and since he wasn't well enough to give another 'treatment' to yet, she'd instead fitted him with the white noise helmet to stop him overhearing. He shuddered again at the memory. It was a miracle he managed to stay sane in that hellhole, though he wasn't sure his brothers would agree he had when the slightest thing could and would set him off since being rescued.
Tears pricked painfully at his vision and he furiously scrubbed them away before carefully making his way out from under the bed. Raph was standing close by, hand held out patiently to help him up. Staring up at it, Mikey swallowed nervously before reaching up, accepting the offer. At least Raph usually gave him the choice which was more than Leo did, he thought bitterly, remembering yesterday's disastrous 'conversation'.
Shaky though he was, the moment he stood on his feet Raph released him to reach for his crutches, handing them wordlessly to him one at a time. Once Mikey was steady, Raph spoke up again, gentler than normal.
"Nightmares again, little bro?"
Mikey snapped his gaze to Raph in surprise. It was no secret he had them. Hell, it would have been far more shocking if he didn't after everything he'd survived, but unless he thrashed around in his sleep, which thankfully wasn't often given he'd long ago learnt to keep still to avoid drawing unwanted attention, well, being unable to vocalise actually had a couple of advantages. Like not drawing his brothers to him in panic as he screamed in terror in the middle of the night.
{Y?} he tapped slowly after extricating his fingers from the handle of the right crutch.
"'cause we woke up to find you huddled and shivering under the bed this morning," Raph replied, studying him with a worried frown. "We left you there because, yeah, didn't want to startle you and because you need the sleep. You're still healing."
Mikey glanced guiltily up at his brother's face but the bruise he'd left a while back had completely faded away a few days ago now. Raph snorted but didn't say a thing; he didn't need to. They'd had that conversation numerous times now, of Mikey feeling bad about it and Raph telling him not to be such an idiot because no way had it hurt him, visual evidence be damned.
{U put,} Mikey motioned to the blanket and pillow half hidden beneath the bed, {on me?}
"Like I said, you were shivering," Raph grunted once he translated.
{Ty, R.}
"Yeah, no problem. So wanna talk about why you ended up on the floor?"
'What's the point?' Mikey thought miserably as he looked away from his brother. 'If I went slow enough for you to keep up, I'd lose track of what I was saying.' Then, just to give Raph something, he blinked no and slowly tapped, {To b close. Where D?}
"Donnie's in the bathroom," Raph replied, studying Mikey closely and baulking as he squirmed under his gaze. "Sorry," he muttered guiltily.
{Is 'k,} Mikey replied. He worked his fingers around the thin handhold again before cautiously heading for the door. Once outside, Mikey paused to get his bearings, then turned towards the bathroom. Not long after, he stood outside the door, surprised to see it too, wedged open like his bedroom door. Donnie stood inside, working at the sink with a mess of tools and what looked like tap handles surrounding him. Mikey blinked in surprise.
{Wot r u doin', D?} Mikey ventured cautiously, his heart beginning to pound at the sight. {L'll b mad if he c's this mess. U no how he is.}
Turning to take Mikey in, Donnie chuckled, "Leo knows and don't worry, Raph won't let Leo anywhere near the bathroom with the label maker."
"He wouldn't dare, not after last time," Raph laughed harshly, punching his fist into his right hand with a loud slapping noise. Mikey jumped, glancing back fearfully.
"We're only joking, Mikey," Donnie quickly said. "Well, not about the label maker. You know how obsessive-compulsive Leo is, always needing everythi..."
"The word's anal, Don," Raph interrupted with an impatient roll of his eyes.
"No need to be crude, Raph," Donnie chided with barely hidden annoyance.
Yeah, he remembered most things about his brothers now, including how Leo tried to 'organise' the bathroom after April originally came to stay. Supposedly, it was to give her space but that'd just been an excuse. He'd clearly been itching to do it ever since finding the intact label maker at the dump on one of their trips there. Leo also tried organising the kitchen soon after, until Mikey, fed up at suddenly not being able to find anything in his domain pulled all the stickers off and returned everything to normal, all while denying ever having touched them. A ghost of a smile lit the corners of his mouth at the memory until fear suddenly rose anew and the smile disappeared instantly at the thought of his past defiance.
How could he have been so stupid?
He didn't have any right to go against his Alpha's wishes and it was a miracle he hadn't been punished for it, especially after all his Alpha's work trying to make things better around their home for everyone.
"Mikey?" Donnie quietly questioned. He placed down the adjustable wrench he was using and came over, stopping right in front of him. "Are you alright?"
All Mikey could do was stand there, unable to meet Donnie's gaze and breathing raggedly as he tried desperately not to fidget. Why couldn't Donnie just drop it? His brother reached out a hand towards him and he couldn't help but flinch. Donnie's hand dropped away again and sensing the disappointment, Mikey closed his eyes in shame.
"It's okay, you don't have to answer, Mikey but I'm here and happy to listen whenever you like," Donnie offered softly to his relief.
He forced himself to open his eyes again and blink acknowledgement.
"Do you need to use the bathroom?" Donnie asked after a few moments of no further response. "Because I'll give you your privacy if so."
{Wud b gud.} He swallowed painfully, glancing slightly towards the cubicle.
"I thought instead of you needing to have someone open the door for you, I could fix up the old folding screen and place it in here," Donnie explained kindly, motioning behind him. Mikey peeked past him to see. The old, long-torn paper was gone, replaced by what looked like a recently repaired 'How to Train Your Dragon' shower curtain. It was lightweight, waterproof and best of all, couldn't be seen through. "It should be easy enough for you to move if and when you need to."
{Ty, D,} Mikey smiled tightly. He carefully negotiated his way past the screen and pulled it across, glad to hear his brothers leave the room anyway. While he felt bad about all the extra work Donnie had to do to help him, he was incredibly grateful to be given more independence by the day. Minutes later, he was done and emerged from the screen only to realise Donnie still had the sink in pieces.
{D?} he tapped, staring at the mess perplexed. Well, it wasn't like he could have turned the tap on himself when he couldn't open his useless hands more than half an inch anyway.
"Oh, r-right! Sorry, I'm not done yet," Donnie stammered self-consciously as he entered the room again. "Once I am, you'll be able to turn them on yourself."
Mikey gave him a puzzled look.
"I'm replacing the taps with lever handles so you can just lift and twist to adjust the flow and temperature. I'm also going to replace the ones in the shower and kitchen too. I ordered them online yesterday and had them delivered to Murakami-san's place early this morning. April and Casey picked them up and dropped them off before school," Donnie explained with a longing look on his face and a sigh in his voice as he spoke April's name. "I would've been finished with the sink already but I thought it more important to finish the screen door first."
Mikey stared, mouth agape as a nearly forgotten warmth spread through his chest. Donnie really did think of everything! Despite how tetchy the genius could be, he was one of the most generous and kind people ever and he was so lucky to have an awesome brother like him. A smile began to grow on his face and without thinking, he launched himself at his brother, dropping the crutches and throwing his arms around him in a huge hug that knocked them both crashing to the ground.
{Ty, D,} Mikey tapped rapidly against Donnie's skin.
"Anything for you," Donnie laughed, slipping his arms loosely around Mikey and hugging him back.
The pair stayed that way for a couple of minutes until suddenly self-conscious and beginning to feel uncomfortable, Mikey sat up and pulled away. Donnie gave him a warm smile.
"You must be hungry by now, right?"
{Hai!} Mikey tapped eagerly, forgetting about his sudden discomfort. He was famished!
"Well," Donnie stood and offered a hand to Mikey, "Raph went ahead to the kitchen, why don't you meet him there and let him know what you want while I finish up the sink? I'll join you both once I'm done and after lunch, we can all go to the dojo for your rehabilitation and some sun. Sound good?"
{No,} Mikey tapped flatly against his leg with his free hand.
"You know you need to do it to get your muscle strength back, right?" Donnie frowned worriedly. He tried not to fix Mikey with too stern a look but Mikey squirmed regardless, even as he blinked 'yes'.
"So what's the problem?"
{U rly trust R to cook?}
Donnie stared in disbelief a moment, then laughed. "More than I would Leo but no, he's not cooking. Raph"ll tell you himself, your options are cut-up fruit, cereal or toast. Other than that, though, it's your choice," he promised.
{O,} Mikey relaxed in relief, {'k. I can live with that.} He took the proffered crutches carefully back from Donnie, then made his way out, heading for the kitchen as his brother returned to working on the sink.
As he passed the dojo, Mikey glanced inside nervously but his Alpha... Leo... wasn't in sight. Neither was he in the pit and the TV was off. Mikey wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried about that and picked up speed the rest of the way to the kitchen, only for the foot of one crutch to catch on something at the doorway. Unable to release the crutches fast enough to save himself, he yelped soundlessly as he pitched forward, hitting the floor face-first, accompanied by a sharp crack as his plastron slammed into the ground.
"Mikey!" Raph cried out in alarm. He whirled around, rushing over at the sound of Mikey hitting the ground. "Fuck! This is why you aren't supposed to wander around on those things alone yet. You okay?"
{I'm fine!} Mikey tapped in embarrassment from where he lay, face still down on the cold concrete. He scowled and pulled away from Raph the moment he tried to pull him up.
"You're not fine, you're bleeding," Raph corrected in an annoyed tone. "Here, let me help you up."
Knowing his brother wouldn't let it go, Mikey consented, allowing him to help him to a stool at the kitchen table.
"Want me to get Donnie or are you okay with me cleaning that up?" Raph asked more calmly once Mikey was safely seated.
Mikey blinked in surprise. Was it really that bad? Because it didn't feel it. {U can,} he acquiesced reluctantly.
Raph nodded and rushed out the room. A couple minutes later, he was back, first-aid kit in hand. He sat on the stool beside Mikey, encouraging him to turn to face him.
"This is going to sting a bit, bro," he warned as he reached down for the disinfectant and cotton swabs. Opening the lid, he poured a small amount on the cloth and looked up again. "It's not too bad," he offered a moment later, his hand hovering just out of reach of Mikey's forehead. He glanced down to lock eyes for a moment, only for Mikey to immediately shift his gaze. Raph frowned, still unused to a Mikey who couldn't handle meeting their eyes for more than a few moments. He grit his teeth, the fury over what Bradford and the Foot did to his brother overwhelming him momentarily and he couldn't help but growl. Mikey jumped, cringing slightly but amazingly, held his place.
"Sorry," Raph muttered apologetically. "It just all pisses me off so much."
{Me?} Mikey tapped softly, his heart clenching painfully in his chest.
"No!" Raph spat furiously. "Not you! Never you! What they did to you! You can't even... Sorry. I shouldn't..."
{It's ok, R,} Mikey reached out, tapping against Raph's skin.
Raph blinked in confusion as he stared down at Mikey's hand. "You know I can't understand that."
Canting his head, Mikey smiled slightly, his expression asking 'really'?
Pursing his lips, Raph blew out air, calmer and feeling strangely comforted. 'Leave it to Mikey to find a way to make someone else feel better when it's him that needs help the most,' he grumbled unhappily to himself. He shook his head, forcing himself back into the moment.
"Like I said, it's not too bad, won't need stitches or anything but it's gotta be cleaned and covered up so it doesn't get infected," Raph grunted, studying Mikey's forehead again. "Though, you've been on so much antibiotics lately that you'd probably be fine anyway."
{'k,} Mikey answered simply. He would have liked to say more but why bother when that would've only distracted Raph. He wanted this over and done with. He was hungry and thirsty and hated this kind of attention. Every time someone treated an injury on him, he remembered Mai and though she protected him in many ways, in others, she hurt him far more than almost anyone else. Mikey closed his eyes, wishing Raph would hurry up.
"Mikey?" Raph asked urgently. "You okay? Is your head hurting?"
No more than usual. {Just do,} he tapped a little tersely, opening his eyes to stare straight ahead.
"Are you su..."
{Pls.}
"Okay," Raph replied. He gently dabbed the cloth against the wound, cleaning the blood and dirt out, wincing as he expected Mikey to wince. However, there was no reaction. Raph could see something in Mikey's eyes, fear most likely, but there was no squirming, no whining, no physical reaction whatsoever; he was perfectly still and quiet, not even increased breathing and that made Raph's blood run cold.
On the ship, even before the ship when Donnie cut the tracking chip out of him, Mikey hadn't reacted much to pain. Just did his best to put up with it without moving. When they'd rescued him from Dogpound on the Umi Ryuu, he'd been so badly hurt it had been impossible for him to remain standing but it hadn't stopped him trying. It was only losing consciousness that made him give up and then only upon seeing them. Even in the medical bay on the ship, Raph never saw him complain about it. The only thing he'd reacted to was his terror over humans too close and even then, only while delirious from pain, concussion or medication. In the end, when he'd become far more lucid, he didn't even try to get away from Asahi-sensei, although the medic still didn't approach him without one or more of his brothers at his side and holding him tight. Not when all of them could clearly see the terror in his eyes and the stiffness in his body whenever the man was near.
As Raph remembered that and saw Mikey's sheer stillness now, he felt sick.
Master Splinter and even he, Leo and Donnie had been trying to get Mikey to keep still and focus for years, an almost impossible task given Mikey's hyperactivity and ADHD combined and yet the Foot and Dogpound had succeeded where they hadn't.
But the problem was, it was done by beating and torturing and raping the stillness into him.
It was too much. Dropping the cotton swab, Raph turned and raced for the sink, heaving the remnants of his long-ago breakfast all over the floor before he could make it.
How had this happened?
It wasn't right! It just wasn't right seeing their normally full-of-life baby brother like this. They'd always wanted him to toughen up and learn to focus but not this.
Not like this.
Raph heaved again repeatedly though there was nothing left inside of him.
How were they supposed to go on? How was Mikey supposed to go on when he'd been broken and crippled and couldn't even speak anymore. Fuck, they still didn't even know why he couldn't because Mikey wouldn't tell them. He couldn't even seem to make a sound other than that odd attempt at growling that was really more air passing through the spit in the back of his mouth than a real growl.
He closed his eyes, panting harshly as the foul-tasting acid in his stomach churned, trying to force its way up his throat and out his mouth.
Suddenly, a hand gently grasped his shoulder and Raph whipped his head around in wide-eyed shock to see Leonardo studying him in big-brotherly concern.
"Are you alright, Raph?" Leo asked worriedly.
"Y-yeah," Raph muttered, the blood rushing to his face in embarrassment at being caught by Leonardo of all turtles. He straightened up, fighting to swallow the bile back down and keep it down when the rising taste alone was triggering his gag reflex. "Why?"
"Oh, no reason at all other than because Mikey came to me in a panic about you," Leo frowned. "I couldn't understand a word of what he was saying, just that he meant you and was pointing this way while miming being sick."
Raph scowled, peering past Leo to see Mikey peeking in fearfully through the kitchen entrance, wobbling precariously in place on his crutches.
"Fuck's sake, get back in here and sit down before you fall down again," Raph snapped, pushing past Leo to go help Mikey.
"Raph..."
"I'm fine, Leo. Just ate something bad and it came back up, that's all."
"So I see," Leonardo murmured, gazing at the awful-smelling mess on the floor.
Raph stiffened. "Don't worry, Leo, I'll clean it up in a minute, just... just gotta finish with Mikey first."
Mikey shot Raph a concerned look. {I'm ok,} he pointed out, even as Raph forcefully helped him back onto the stool.
"Yes... about that," Leo said slowly, shifting his gaze to Mikey, his frown deepening. "What happened? How did he get hurt again?"
"He fell," Raph replied bluntly. He reached into the med kit for a small square of fresh gauze, squirting some antiseptic onto it.
"Onto his face?" Leo asked in surprise, eyebrow ridges rising.
{Tripped,} Mikey tapped petulantly.
"Why weren't you close enough to catch him?" Leonardo demanded. He didn't take his eyes off Raphael and Raph could feel them, boring into the back of his head. "I thought we all agreed not to leave Mikey to wander on his own until he got used to the crutches. He was your responsibility."
Raph bristled as Mikey shrunk back slightly. He took a breath, then gave Mikey a small but comforting smile as he gently taped the gauze in place. "Mikey's doing great with them and he wasn't alone for long."
"But he was alone," Leo pointed out in a hard voice. "This isn't like on the Umi Ryuu where we had limited space. We're home now and the lair is huge in comparison. You know he can't be alone yet. You've seen how he gets."
Mikey scrunched his eyes tight, drawing into himself more and Raph frowned, seeing the shame flowing into him.
"And he's right here in front of us hearing every word, Leonardo. Look, you wanna chew me out, fine! I don't care but this isn't the time or place," Raph pointed out acerbically, keeping his shell to Leonardo and trying his very best not to snap for Mikey's sake. It was hard.
"You're right, this isn't the place," Leo admitted stiffly. He began walking to the door. "I'll be right back with Donnie and then you and I can take this elsewhere."
"Fine!" Raph spat, gritting his teeth. Then he sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Hey, I'm really sorry about that, little brother. He's gone, by the way."
Mikey opened his eyes, peeking up at Raph anxiously.
"Not a good start to the day, huh, bud?"
{Sry,} Mikey tapped slowly so Raph could understand. Still, that was a word Raph knew well enough with how often Mikey used it that he didn't need to go so slowly.
"Hey, not your fault. Much as I hate to admit it, I should've waited for you but you slept late so I figured you were starving by now and I wanted to start getting things ready," Raph said gently.
{Hai.} Mikey looked away a moment only to see the mess on the floor again. He turned back to Raph, gazing at him worriedly. {U ok?}
"Me? Yeah, 'course I am!" Raph snorted indignantly. "It's..."
{U sic...} Mikey cut in, pointedly looking past him to the mess behind him.
"Uh... y-yeah, like I said to Lame-o-nardo, ate something that didn't agree with me, that's all," Raph fumbled quickly. There was no way in hell he was explaining to Mikey what really happened. Even if he didn't look like he believed him. "Look, can you wait a few minutes for food? I should clean that up before the smell makes anyone else sick."
{Hai,} Mikey tapped miserably, looking down at the mess again.
Raph whirled about and snatched a juice box with the straw already inserted off the bench. He plonked it down in front of Mikey. "Can you handle that okay?"
Mikey went to nod, then froze, fear flashing on his face and Raph felt sick all over again. Then he tapped, {Hai,} before reaching out with trembling hands to pick it up carefully between them.
Going to the sink, Raph opened the cupboard door beneath it, pulling out a bucket. He squirted some cleaner into it and began filling it with warm water. "You feeling okay, Mikey?"
Mid-sip, Mikey looked over in surprise. He carefully placed the drink down so he could tap his reply. {Hai.}
"Not woozy or dizzy or anything?"
{Am fine.}
"Headache?"
Mikey bit his lip. When didn't he have one of those lately? The question should have been more like was it better or worse than normal - Donnie would have asked that. Before he could reply though, Raph placed the bucket on the floor and looked up to fix him with a look, silently warning him not to lie, right as a panicked Donatello rushed in with Leo right behind. Both Raph and Mikey sighed, Raph in annoyance and Mikey, in relief.
"Leo said you fell and hit your head again," Donnie rushed out anxiously. "Are you okay?"
'Yes,' Mikey blinked slowly, picking up his juice box between both hands again and bringing it to his mouth to drink.
Donnie skidded to a halt in front of him and peered into his eyes, looking for any further signs of concussion. He gave a nod before half turning his head towards Raph who was being led out by Leo. "Why didn't you get me, Raph?"
Raph grit his teeth. "Because it wasn't bad and I took care of it. We're all trained in basic first-aid, remember? You made us learn."
Donnie frowned, "Even so..."
"If you don't trust us to do it, then why bother teaching us?" Raph challenged, staring Donnie down.
"It's not that I don't trust you, Raph, I do. It's just... Mikey's had so many injuries lately and he hasn't even recovered from the concussion he was suffering from when we found him on the Umi Ryuu." Donnie wilted tiredly onto the stool next to Mikey. "We can't even be sure he didn't have one prior to that. We barely know anything that happened to him before we found him, let alone about the immediate week or so before that."
"I didn't think of that," Raph admitted reluctantly, "but it's not like we were hiding it. We would have mentioned it when you came for lunch. We just didn't want to bother you when you were busy 'cause I could handle it."
Donnie reached out a hand and clasped Mikey's. Mikey looked down at it in confusion. Donnie gave him the slightest of smirks before looking back to Raph in the doorway. "It's not like you could have really hidden it anyway, what with a new bandage on his head."
"There ya go. Like I said, wasn't trying to hide it," Raph chuckled before following Leo out the doorway.
"So, how are you feeling?" Donnie asked anxiously, his full attention on Mikey once their brothers were gone. "Any dizziness? Blurry vision?"
{R alredy asked.}
"And? I wasn't here, remember?"
Mikey pursed his lips in annoyance and blew air out slowly. {R wud've said.}
"Humour me, Mikey," Donnie instructed flatly.
{I'm ok, D. I just tripped.}
"And fell flat on your face"
{I'm a klutz, remember?}
Donnie nodded reluctantly. "Yes but not that much of one that you can't normally save yourself from something like that."
Mikey frowned and lifted both ruined hands, gazing at them and turning them over one side and the other. {Cudn't let go qik,} he tapped after a few seconds of scrutiny.
Donnie's face brightened in realisation and then fell. "Right. Of course you couldn't. I'm sorry."
{It's ok.} Mikey turned to look anxiously out the door their brothers had gone through. {Will R be ok?}
"He didn't look too sick to me, despite the foul-smelling evidence on the floor there," Donnie replied, scrunching his face up in disgust.
In sympathy, Mikey pulled a face too. {Mean with... L.}
Donnie canted his head curiously as he considered Mikey. "Why wouldn't he be?"
Biting his lip as he thought, Mikey realised Donnie had no idea about what happened between their other brothers. Donnie would only have heard that he was hurt again before panicking and racing to get to him. So he explained.
"I see," Donnie murmured. "Honestly, I'm sure Raph will be fine. You know he doesn't take crap from anyone..."
{Hai,} Mikey tapped quietly, anxiously.
"...but if Leo wants to blame anyone for leaving you alone, then he has to blame me as well," he continued. "It may have technically been Raph's shift with you..."
Mikey stiffened. Shifts? He didn't want to be alone but for his brothers to be forced into shifts with him? That meant... they felt obligated and didn't actually want to be with him...
Just like before... like always. No wonder they went about making new friends before coming to find him. He didn't know why they even bothered coming; they were far better off without him.
"... but I was the one with you because he went ahead to the kitchen. So I'm the one at fault for letting you go alone."
{U busy, tho,} Mikey pointed out almost inaudibly.
"Not so busy I couldn't have walked with you to the kitchen," Donnie replied in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."
{Nothing to be sorry for,} Mikey countered. {Was only the kitchen, wasn't far.}
"... and yet, you still tripped. What did you trip on anyway?"
{Crutch got caught on somthing.}
"Where?"
{Just outside the door.}
Donnie stood and walked over to the doorway to look. "Must have been been the crack in the concrete here. The ground is slightly uneven because of it." He looked around thoughtfully. "There's a couple of other places in the floor like that through the lair. I'll make some concrete to patch it so it doesn't happen again."
Mikey felt desperation surge through him. This wasn't fair. All he kept doing was heaping more work on his brother and he couldn't even do anything to help. {No, D, I'll be ok. U don't need to do that just for me.}
Donnie looked back, startled and concerned. "It needs to be done anyway. If the cracks aren't repaired, they could grow and spread." Then his face softened. "It's okay, Mikey, I promise I don't mind. I want things to be as easy for you as possible."
'And I don't want you resenting or hating me,' Mikey thought frantically, fighting his emotions. 'I just got you all back, I don't wanna lose you again.'
"You can talk to me, Mikey," Donnie said quietly, coming back to stand before him.
{I no.}
"Then...?"
Mikey gave a rapid, single, desperate shake of the head. {Nothing to say.}
"Okay..." Donnie replied, disappointed and obviously not believing him. "Well... will you be okay if I quickly go set Leo straight?"
{Hai but...} Mikey hesitated before continuing when Donnie prompted him. {Won't L get mad at you? Don't mind you going but don't want u in truble.}
"You know, he probably will but too bad," Donnie shrugged with a small smile. "You'll stay here, right? You won't try to go anywhere?"
{Hai,} Mikey replied miserably.
"Everyone needs some time alone, even if for only a couple of minutes. Leo needs to realise that before you do get desperate for it." Suddenly, Donnie brightened and pulled out his T-phone, placing it on the table along with a stylus. Mikey gazed down at it in confusion as Donnie turned it on.
"The screen will stay on for ten minutes before shutting down," he reminded him. "If you need anyone before I get back, just use the stylus to dial us. One of us will come right away."
{'k,} Mikey replied, still staring down at it. He wondered if he'd even be able to turn it on if the screen went down but as he said, Donnie wasn't going to be that long.
"I'll be back shortly," Donnie promised.
And with that, he left.
-:-
Comments, thoughts and concrit are always welcome.
* If you ever see my stories posted anywhere other than under the name Zelgadis55 at Deviant Art, FFNet, AO3 or Live Journal, then they have been stolen. Please report them.
