Rating: T for occasional language. Also see other warnings.
Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.
Summary: Bradford has always blamed Michelangelo for his misfortunes and especially for his mutation so when he manages to capture the young ninja, he's going to make sure he knows exactly what it's like. 2k12 AU.
Warning: Warnings for physical and mental torture in this story abound, as well as for implied and highly disturbing situations. Trigger warnings may apply for some chapters. There will not however, be gruesome details. Some things are best left up to the imagination.
Sewer Rat in Tuxedo: Sorry, not a lot of action in this chapter but if you like brotherly stuff, hopefully you'll enjoy this one.
Guest From May 8: thank you. Sorry about the wait but I don't have chapters ready in advance anymore so it's slower going than it used to be and I'm juggling several stories, including ones I haven't started posting yet..
How Much is that Turtle in the Window
ch 44
"H-hey, Mikey, can I come in? We need to talk."
Mikey curled up tighter at the sound of his brother's voice. {Wot's to talk about,} he tapped dully onto the bed covers.
Donnie sighed miserably and Mikey heard him walk towards him, then he saw him as he rounded the bed.
"Can I sit down?"
Mikey pursed his lips a moment before reluctantly pushing himself upright to make room on the bed beside him. He stared past Donnie at the wall as Donnie gingerly sat down. {Wot do u want, D?}
"To tell you that you were right and that I'm sorry," Donnie said softly, clenching his fists on his knees and likewise looking forward at the wall.
Mikey turned his head away as the unshed tears prickled at his eyes again.
"But... while you were right, you were also wrong. A-at least, partially."
He whipped his head around to face Donnie in disbelief, opening his mouth to snap "Seriously?" However, the shame on his brother's face, in his eyes, made him falter and the fear of realising that he nearly tried to speak stopped him altogether. His throat hitched painfully as he instead looked down and for several seconds, struggled to draw breath.
"You were right in that I shut you down so many times over the years and for that, I am so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or dismiss you but... despite how it obviously appeared, I always, always, cared what you thought.
"I wish I at least had a good excuse to give you but I don't... You have always been so important to us and yet we treated you awfully and took you for granted."
Donnie took a deep, shuddering breath and tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling above.
"When we lost you, Mikey, it was like the most important piece of us was ripped from us and we... we didn't know how to continue without you. I didn't know how to go on. Our lives basically stopped. All we could think of was how to find and reach you and bring you back to where you belonged and were safe."
Though he still hurt terribly, Mikey shakily reached out a hand, pressing it against Donnie's and Donnie took it gratefully, squeezing gently.
"You were always so important to us but we didn't realise just how important until you were taken.
"Suddenly, I had no one to show my inventions and ideas to, no one to get feedback from who wouldn't just blow me off or roll their eyes, no one to help me test new inventions and see how Mikey-proof they were," Donnie chuckled sadly, trying to draw a smile from Mikey which he couldn't currently give. "No one to make me laugh or draw me out of my self-imposed bubble, no one to make sure I was looking after myself and eating, no one to ease the loneliness or stand with me against Leo and Raph's arrogance and superiority complex...
"The four of us are a team and you and I, even more so. I am so, so sorry for all the times I hurt you without thinking by shutting you down or refusing to listen to you and if you allow me to, I'm going to prove to you just how much you and your opinions matter to me. I'll do it every day until you believe I mean it and then I'll keep on proving it to you anyway because you and your opinions and thoughts matter far more than you could ever realise."
Donatello took a deep, shuddering breath that hurt Mikey to see. "The... the sad thing is, I should have realised sooner because I know how you feel. At least, somewhat."
{How?} Mikey asked simply. His brother was so smart and Leo and Raph always wanted his opinions and input. Donnie was never shut down or ignored the way he always was. He was never looked at with annoyance, disdain or disgust.
Like he was just a waste of time and oxygen...
"Because Leo and Raph do it to me too," Donnie answered with a sad smile. "Granted, sometimes it's justified, like when I start going into too much depth when explaining something during a mission but it happens at home too. It's different, I know, and not as badly as the way we always did it to you but they still shut me down and it hurts. I know this. It's part of why I've always appreciated you so much. I know you tend to get bored and have trouble understanding a lot of what I'm saying but you always still tried and still listened despite that. Especially when it was just the two of us."
Mikey blinked, thinking of all the times he'd gone in to hang with Donnie and just let him ramble. It was often boring as Donnie said but the happiness on his face and in his voice as he talked kept him there and coming back and he'd loved it.
"Then, there's our ninjutsu." Here, Donnie looked and sounded both annoyed and slightly hurt.
{We're bad ninja,} Mikey agreed sadly, looking down at his free hand forlornly. And if he wasn't before, well now, he certainly would be considering he couldn't even hold his weapons anymore or run and jump and kick.
"Actually, we're not," Donnie said sharply.
Mikey looked up at him again, startled.
"We keep being told we are. Sometimes in words, far more often by actions and behaviour from our brothers but we aren't bad ninja."
Donnie stopped and took a deep breath, calming his temper as Mikey shrank back a little. Not because he was afraid but because he knew this was pointless. Regardless of whether they were any good or not, he was no longer capable. His legs would heal and support him again in time but his hands? He wouldn't be of any use to his brothers even if he somehow overcame his conditioning and fear and was somehow able to go topside with them again. In fact, he'd be such a liability that he doubted he'd ever be allowed to leave the lair again. His throat seemed to constrict as if the collar was still there, pressing upon it and wheezing slightly, he struggled for breath again.
"Hey, are you okay?" Donnie abruptly asked, gazing at him worriedly.
{Am fine,} he managed to get out, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks at the lie and his head start to swim from lack of oxygen.
Donnie stared at him for a few more seconds, then seemingly convinced as Mikey finally managed to start breathing again, said okay and continued talking.
"Think about it, Mikey. Master Splinter never said anything about either of us being bad ninja. In fact, there were times he seemed approving."
'Towards you, maybe,' Mikey thought guiltily as he looked away. There were still some gaps in his memory, he knew, but he couldn't have even counted all the times his father was proud of him on one hand and if he did? It was usually a backhanded compliment of some variety. On the other hand, he'd lost count of all the times the other three were praised. Without the accompanying surprise at an achievement directed his way or the begrudging "But Mikey has his challenges," that he always received.
"And compare ourselves to the other ninja and thugs we came across before you were... well, before. We always did well against superior numbers. Every single one of us. Especially once we had a chance to observe our foes a little and work on our teamwork. You even took Bradford down using his own kata that time, remember?"
Mikey blinked uncertainly. He did remember that as that had been part of what made the man hate him so much. Still, he wasn't sure that was really such a good point.
"To pick something like that up so fast? To then use it against him only a day after being taught it? That is not the sign of a bad ninja, Mikey. At worst, you and I aren't as physically strong or aggressive as Leo and Raph but that doesn't make us bad ninja and compared to the vast majority of others around? We're amazing and that puts us in the range of being great ninja! However, we've both been led to believe otherwise over and over and over again," Donnie continued, the passion strong in his voice as he spoke.
"This kind of behaviour in our family has to stop for everyone's sake and I'm sorry it took you being so badly hurt for me to realise it was happening when I should have noticed long ago."
Donnie closed his eyes a moment and when he opened them again, he gazed directly at Mikey. "I can't change what's happened in the past but I can work to change things going forward and I fully intend to do whatever I can from this point onward. If I slip up, make sure I know it but please don't shut us out because I promise you, we need you just as much as you need us, if not more so."
Mikey swallowed painfully and hesitantly reached out a hand to show him he wouldn't. He'd been hurting and needed some time to himself but had no intention of shutting anyone out and the fact Donnie thought he would or could, made a part of him wonder if Donnie ever really knew him at all.
"Thanks, Mikey," Donnie smiled gratefully at him. "Do you... is there anything you need or want to say? It can be anything, even if it's about something I've done to hurt you."
Mikey looked down, not even knowing where to begin. As far as he was concerned, that was the past and that's where that kind of stuff needed to stay.
In some ways, he was glad for confronting Donnie hours ago since it led to him actually realising but in other ways, he felt terrible for hurting Donnie by making him realise. Especially since he'd only lashed out because of the day he'd had, with Leo on his case and Casey being around, coming near him and trying to talk to him. {No,} he tapped softly.
"Okay, well, I'm here whenever you want to talk and I'll always listen, okay?" Donnie repeated softly. "I... as for right now... I do need to go speak to Leo and Raph..."
{About me?} Mikey asked, his heart fluttering anxiously behind his plastron. He clenched his free hand a moment, hoping his brother wouldn't notice.
"In part, yes," Donnie admitted cautiously. "I do need to talk to them about this so that they're aware and can try to make changes too. I mean, if they don't realise, how are things ever supposed to change and get better?"
{Rite...} Mikey tapped miserably, looking down again to stare at his knees.
"But..." Donnie swallowed and appeared as if unsure what to say for a moment, then he sighed reluctantly. "I don't know if you knew that I went out tonight but I did. I needed to talk to Mr. O'Neil and get some advice. Then when I was almost home, I ran into trouble."
{Wot kind of trouble?} Mikey asked worriedly.
Here, Donnie cringed and Mikey knew this was the part he was dreading. "I saw MOUSERs in the sewers, obviously searching for signs of us."
Mikey shot upright in terror.
"Don't panic, Mikey, we're safe. They didn't find us and they won't but it does mean we're going to have to be on alert. Leo, Raph and I need to talk about how to deal with this so we stay safe and about how we're going to proceed with Master Splinter's remembrance on Saturday."
Mikey boggled at him. How could he not panic when the Foot were still trying to find them and get him back?
"April, Casey and Mr. O'Neil want to be here but if it's too dangerous... well, we need to come up with a solution that won't lead the Foot here and won't force them to stay away."
{Does that mean you'll have to fite them?} Mikey asked nervously. If they did, then they'd all have to go and that would leave him home alone and helpless and he wouldn't even know what happened to them if things went badly and they didn't come back!
"I'm not sure, maybe. Either way, it's part of what we have to work out." Donnie turned his head to look out the bedroom door behind him, then turned back to Mikey. "Do you want to join us? It'll be boring but at least you'll know what's going on and you wouldn't be alone."
Mikey bit his lip as he thought about it, then he blinked, 'Yes.'
He needed to know and be part of what was going on and besides, he wasn't sure he could handle being alone any more today. Not with what he knew was out there, coming closer and closer to home.
-:-
{Hey D,} Mikey tapped as he anxiously stepped into the lab late the next morning, swallowing nervously as he gazed at his brother.
Rubbing tired eyes, Donnie looked up from his computer and smiled gently at Mikey. "Is everything okay?"
{Can I talk to u? It's impotent}
Donnie blinked a moment as he translated Mikey's Morse. "Impo... wait, you mean important, right?"
{That's wot I sed,} Mikey returned slightly irritably. 'Ugh, do you really have to pick on my spelling now?' He had enough of that from Leo and enough of Raph barely understanding anything at all unless he tapped at a snail's pace without Donnie picking on him too.
"Actually, you said... never mind, it's not that important," Donnie said, rushing to his feet in embarrassment. "Do you want to go somewhere else to talk or is it okay in here?"
Mikey stared at him for a moment, trying to work out what Donnie thought he'd said, then dismissed it. He was tired and sore and just wanted to sit down. {Here's fine,} he answered before making his way unsteadily into the room. Donnie made as if to come and help and Mikey immediately blinked 'No!' He paused long enough to untangle his fingers from the handle of his crutch to tap, {I can do it.}
"I know you can, Mikey," Donnie replied, flashing another smile, this one warm and encouraging. "But it's okay to accept help when it's hard or you're tired or... or anytime, really."
Last night had been a bad night. On top of the emotional upheaval of the day before and the fear of finding out the Foot were closing in on their home, he hadn't been able to sleep well and Donnie knew it. He'd still insisted on doing his rehab exercises that morning though, even though his brothers tried to give him a break thanks to the sleepless night. Mikey blinked acknowledgement as he readjusted his grip on the crutch again and slowly began making his way to Donnie's spare chair.
"Even if it's not hard and you're not tired, I'm always willing to help you and remember, whenever you want to talk to me, whether it's important or not, I'll always listen to you, okay?" Donnie reminded him as he finally reached the chair and struggled to lower himself into it with shaky legs without collapsing.
Mikey blinked at Donnie, remembering their conversation the night before. It still confused him why the sudden change when before all this happened, Donnie so rarely wanted to listen to him babble on. He liked that Donnie said he would now but... tears prickled his eyes and he struggled to hold them back to avoid upsetting his brother. {Is... that because ur the only one who understands me?} he tapped uncertainly.
Donnie paled instantly. "No! It's... it's..." he sighed sadly. "I'm sorry I wasn't always a good brother before, Mikey. I have no excuses b-but let's just say that when you went missing, I realised what was truly important and that's you. You and Leo and Raph and I'm so sorry that I didn't always make time for you in the past but that's something that will not happen again. I promised to make it up to you last night and I will. To all of you."
Mikey's eyes widened in shock as he listened to his brother, seeing and hearing all the hurt and unspoken fear within him again. Maybe he really had meant what he said last night after all and it wasn't just empty words. He reached out to touch Donnie's arm and tapped gently against him {U weren't a bad bro, bro. Ur a good bro. The best bro.}
"I don't agree but I won't argue about this," Donnie replied contritely, his smile returning, grateful but sad. "Now, you had something important you wanted to talk about?"
'But this is important too!' Mikey thought indignantly. But maybe not quite as important considering that what he came to see Donnie about might affect their family's safety. His eyes flicked back and forth between Donnie and his own knees, the scales scarred and damaged from the better part of a year spent crawling on them without protection over harsh terrain. He wondered if the Foot had the paths at their base paved with small rocks and pebbles just to torment him further, then decided that thought was stupid because it was far too much effort to go to for one prisoner (despite all the effort they'd gone to in other ways) and that it made no sense. The paths had probably been built that way long ago. Then his eyes narrowed in thought as memories of walking, rather, crawling, along those rough, stone-hewn paths came to the fore. While the crunch of gravel had been loud to his hearing, particularly early on, none of the ninja there had made a sound as they traversed the paths. Only he had. They were likely designed that way to give the Foot practice at stealth. If they could walk unheard on a path like that, then they could walk unheard anywhere. Mikey shuddered at the implications even as he wondered what punishments awaited them if any of the newer recruits did make a sound on them. They sure did seem to learn fast.
"Are you okay, Mikey?" Donnie asked quietly, interrupting his thoughts and making him jump.
'Yes!' he blinked frantically, {Just...} he breathed out slowly and heavily, trying to expel the bad thoughts and memories like the stale air of his breath. He gave Donnie a shaky smile and waved his hands, instantly dismissing the garbage that had been bothering him. Donnie didn't look entirely convinced but he nodded as if he understood regardless. {Sorry, D, just distracted. So...} his eyes drifted away from his brother again. {U... u know how humans tag their pets with... ID chips?}
"Do you mean the ones that contain information about how to contact their owners if they get found when lost?" Donnie asked curiously.
{Yeh,} Mikey replied, cringing. The Foot gave him one because he was owned, just like any other pet or animal. Only, he wasn't a pet and it wasn't an act of love. Instead, it had been done to humiliate and drive home the fact that he was just an animal without a voice. The way they'd treated him every day wasn't something people did to pets they loved and wanted to keep safe. {C...an those tags b tracked?"}
Donnie blinked as he gazed at Mikey and Mikey shrank deeper into his chair in embarrassment and shame.
"They aren't like a tracking beacon, if that's what you mean but yes, they can be if you have the right equipment and if you have the specific information contained on the chip. However, since they don't contain their own power source to transmit with or a unique signature for easily tracking against the background, you have to be extremely close to detect them, even with the right equipment."
Mikey closed his eyes in pain and fear; he didn't want to see the look in his brother's eyes when he realised. {How close?}
"W-wait!"
And there it was. The realisation. His stomach churned in fear, threatening to expel everything he'd eaten that morning.
"Mikey, did they give you an ID chip as well as a tracking chip?" Donnie choked out in horrified shock.
{Hai,} Mikey replied miserably, sinking deeper in place.
"But why?" Donnie exploded, making Mikey cringe in fear again. "What's the point of that? The tracking beacon would've served the purpose far more adequately and... even if someone else," he gulped loudly, "found you, there is no way they would've considered checking you for an ID chip! They would've just handed you over to the government, animal control, the police or the army... Oh, Mikey, I'm so sorry, buddy. I-I didn't mean to upset you."
{N...ot u...} Mikey barely managed to tap through his heaving breaths and emotional turmoil.
"I know but... I certainly didn't help," Donnie whispered, sounding miserable in his shame.
He then heard Donnie shifting, coming closer and then a murmured warning before his brother's arms wrapped protectively around him, comforting as Mikey desperately tried to bring himself back under control.
{C...an u get it out?} Mikey tapped desperately against Donnie once he found the words and his control again.
"Where is it?"
And that was the million pizza gyoza question, wasn't it? Mikey stiffened. {I... don't no.}
"You remembered where the tracking chip was but not the ID chip?" Donnie asked softly.
Mikey pulled away and using his inner wrist, wiped away the traitorous moisture from his eyes before answering {Hai.}
Donnie canted his head curiously and Mikey swallowed, closing his eyes briefly again. He so didn't want to think about everything they'd done to him anymore, everything she'd done, but he had to. His family's safety depended on it.
{Mai drugged me with a mussel relaxant b...for she did it,} he explained shamefully, trying not to let the tears return. {She did that a few times so a... lotta things r kinda blurry. I r'membered where the chip was because she told me and because it hurt. Even months later, I could feel it.}
"Did it hurt all that time?" Donnie asked carefully, his voice tight with tension.
'No,' Mikey blinked. {Just uncomfortable. Could feel it under my skin... as I moved.}
Donnie nodded silently, his eyes full of sympathetic pain.
{The ID chip... it felt weird but after a few days, I stopped feeling it and because of how fuzzy everything was 'cause of the drug,} he looked away shamefully, unable to meet Donnie's eye, {I forgot where she injected it.}
"She injected it? With a needle?"
'Yes,' Mikey replied sullenly. {Pls, D, can u get it out?}
Donnie took in a deep breath, his gaze flickering around the lab. "It's going to be difficult without knowing where it is but give me a little time to look into it. I assume it was a standard ID chip?"
Mikey shrugged. How would he know?
Donnie turned back to the computer and brought up a fresh search page. "Did you see the needle?"
{Hai,} Mikey tapped painfully. {It was really big and weird. It looked like it had a hollow point.}
"And you have no clue where it was inserted?"
Mikey gazed down at his legs helplessly. He hadn't seen it done, she'd been behind him and out of sight. He'd only felt disturbingly warm, gloved hands against the side of his thigh before the needle pierced his flesh. It had been extremely dulled at the time but... tears of helplessness prickled his eyes again. {Maybe... there,} he offered, tapping uncertainly as he touched the approximate place on his left thigh. Then he touched the same place on his right, {Or there.}
"Okay, it's a start," Donnie murmured. He turned back to the computer screen, reading through the technical information on the page as Mikey sat, his instinct to squirm warring with the fear that bade him to keep still so as to not draw the wrath of his masters.
Ugh! Why did he still have to feel this way? He was home and safe (as long as the Foot didn't find them, that was and Donnie promised they wouldn't) so why couldn't things just get back to normal already? Or... his eyes drifted to his right hand as he took in the sight of ruined fingers and the odd shapes of the damaged bones in his hand sticking out oddly against his skin and scales... at least as close to normal as he could get. He would never be the same physically but why couldn't he go back to thinking and more specifically feeling the way he used to?
It would take time. Donnie had said so back on the 'Umi Ryuu' but sometimes it felt like things were feeling worse rather than better and that's what he couldn't understand.
Donnie shifted his mouse over to the left of the keyboard and reached out to grasp Mikey's left hand comfortingly. Startled, Mikey looked up to see Donnie focused on the screen before him but a warm smile in place and he smiled back with effort, albeit a watery one. He reached out with his toes to push against the floor and scoot the chair closer, grateful it was on wheels. There, he turned his gaze upon the computer screen curiously and to his disappointment, all he saw was a wall of technical text that blurred together and his vision seemed to swim.
"Is everything okay?"
Mikey jumped and twisted in his chair to see his al... Leo in the doorway and looking both concerned and like he was trying not to. His heart twisted in fear and Mikey growled at himself for being so stupid. Both Leo and Donnie turned worried and vaguely upset looks upon him and it was all he could do not to shrink in on himself in shame again.
Leonardo was his brother and leader, not his alpha. There was a huge difference between the two and being so afraid just because Leo commanded him to do something the other night was just stupid! Leo was only trying to help! And yet... what he'd made Mikey say was just wrong because it was all his fault, even if he couldn't yet remember how.
"Is it okay if I explain what you told me, Mikey?" Donnie asked in a soft tone that offered him all the power.
The concern in Leo's posture grew and he began walking briskly towards them.
{Hai...} Mikey acquiesced reluctantly. It felt like there was no choice but he knew Donnie would stand up for him if he really didn't want anyone else to know. He'd proven it over and over so still feeling like he'd be punished for turning his attention away from Leo, he forced himself to do so. Leo wasn't Dogpound. Leo wasn't Hakuba and he wasn't Mai or Three either. Besides, Leo needed to know if there was more danger because of him. They all did, including Raph.
Anxiously, he squeezed his fingers tightly, drawing another worried glance from Donnie and Donnie's hand squeezed comfortingly around his again.
"There shouldn't be any problems but on the extremely small chance there is, you and Raph should both know about this."
"Raph's asleep right now after his shift on watch. Should I go wake him up?"
"No, we can tell him about it when he wakes up," Donnie replied with a shake of his head. Then, with Mikey staring steadfastly at the screen in front of them, Donnie explained.
"If they are actively searching for this ID chip, how close would they need to be?" Leo asked once Donnie finished talking. "And would Stockman be able to zero in on it with the MOUSERs?"
"Within a dozen feet or so but it also depends on the sensitivity and power of the equipment. The chips are only designed to be scanned within a few inches, not at a distance," Donnie replied confidently, shaking his head. "And no, Stockman couldn't do it with a normal MOUSER. Not unless... no, even then, it shouldn't be possible."
"Then let me ask you this, Don, could you do it with the MOUSERs?" Leo pressed.
Donnie hesitated, then, "Yes, I believe I could if I upgraded them," he admitted with a sigh. "However, it would take time to get it to work and resources I don't have at hand and aren't readily available."
"Then that means we have to work under the assumption that Stockman could too and has."
Mikey felt a fresh thrill of fear as Donnie nodded reluctantly. "I don't think he could do it this quickly, however, he has had more time than I have."
Leo pinched the bridge of his beak before addressing Donatello again. "Are you able you get it out of Mikey or at least disable it?"
"Wiping all the information contained on it will be simple enough if it is a standard pet ID chip and that would prevent anyone searching for a specific one from finding it. As for removing it, that depends on where it is. I should be able to locate it easily enough with my scanner but at present, I have no idea how deep it is or where precisely, it is."
Donnie gave Mikey's hand another quick squeeze before letting go and getting up to walk across the room. Mikey watched anxiously, hyperaware of Leo's scrutinising gaze upon him and he did his best to ignore him.
A few moments later, Donnie headed back with the scanner in hand and set it up. When he was done, he began scanning Mikey's thighs. The moment he found the chip, Donnie relaxed, reading the information that flowed from the scanner.
"Okay, we have two choices here, Mikey and while I'm pretty sure I know which you'll choose, I need to give you both options first."
Mikey shifted his fearful gaze from the computer screen that showed a tiny foreign object nestled within his flesh to meet Donnie's eyes. It really was only the size of a grain of rice like he'd been told but still, seeing it there, knowing it was still there and maybe giving his location away, did weird, uncomfortable things to his stomach.
"Now, the first option is, I can remove it but that, like with the tracking chip, will require me to cut into you and cause you pain, this time unnecessarily and considering it's deeper than the tracker was, if something goes wrong and I slip or misjudge anything, I could cause damage to your muscle and that's not a risk I want to take. Especially with you only just relearning to walk again," Donnie explained bluntly. "Even if it went perfectly smoothly, it could still set back your progress and make things more painful and harder for you for longer."
Mikey's eyes widened fearfully at the thought of his progress being set back again. He didn't want that but he could easily put up with a little pain.
"The other option and it's the one I prefer, is to just leave it in there. I could send a signal burst not unlike an EMP which would completely wipe any data on the chip and render it useless. Doing this wouldn't cause you any pain or harm you physically in any way and not even Stockman would ever be able to detect it, even with a scanner pressed directly to your leg over the exact location," Donnie continued, keeping his gaze fixed on Mikey the entire time. "It's the best choice and it's the one I would choose if it were up to me."
Mikey lowered his gaze, trembling slightly as he thought about it. He knew it was there and he wanted it gone so badly. He had faith in Donnie's skill and steady hands and he could ignore any pain easily enough but...
"Please understand, Mikey, just because you're used to worse doesn't mean that it's okay if you're hurt or hurting now."
He didn't want to hurt Donnie and making him remove it unnecessarily would do just that.
"You're one hundred percent certain you could eliminate any risk, Don?" Leo asked firmly.
"I am," Donnie confirmed confidently. He turned back to Mikey. "Despite how I feel, this is entirely your decision, Mikey."
Mikey's gaze drifted unwillingly to Leo and he caught himself shrinking back again, shame filling him as hurt flashed in Leo's eyes. He turned back to Donnie uncertainly. {I can relly choose, D? Even if I want it out?"} he tapped quietly.
Donnie tried to hide his resigned expression but nodded. "Of course. I promise that it's your choice and no one else can or will make it for you."
Mikey touched his chin to his plastron as he thought hard because this was hard, when suddenly, Leo stiffened.
"What's wrong, Leo?" Donnie asked, puzzled as he turned to look fully at their brother.
"Choice... oh my god! I know why Mikey's so afraid of me. I took away his choice!"
-:-
Comments, thoughts and concrit are always welcome.
* If you ever see my stories posted anywhere other than under the name Zelgadis55 at Deviant Art, FFNet, AO3 or Live Journal, then they have been stolen. Please report them.
