Chapter 3

Meeting after meeting took up Gaara's afternoon and finally Sakura walked into his office at 6 PM. He greeted her with a nod as he finished reviewing the documents in his hands.

They had a standing daily debrief at 6PM with Yuri, where the two medical ninja updated the Kazekage on the recovery, wellness and medical situation in the country.

"I heard Hinata collapsed" is how she chose to open the dialogue today.

Gaara looked up again from the documents he was signing and nodded wordless.

"I checked on her before coming here, I am her primary physician after all. Is there a reason you didn't call me?"

Gaara organized the documents and moved them to the side of his desk as he cocked his head. Did she think he was trying to give Hinata subpar care?

"Because you have your hands full as it is" was his simple reply after some thought. "I called the Chief of Medicine for Sunagakure to come look her over and didn't want to bother you. Unless there is something about Hinata's medical situation that I am not aware of…?" he paused for effect.

"No," Sakura sighed, letting go of some of the attitude she had originally walked in with and collapsed onto a chair across from him.

"What is it?"

"I'm tired," she smiled in an ironic way. "And I miss Naruto… and Sasuke."

Gaara nodded sympathetically. "Naruto's clone gave me an update today, they have a strong lead on the Akatsuki base and they are pursuing it at the moment."

Sakura nodded, "that's good to know, he sent a clone my way as well" she smiled, "but I didn't get a mission update. Yuri is not able to make it today by the way to the meeting. He is busy checking in on Hinata and wrapping up work at the hospital."

Gaara nodded indicating that he understood. "How… is Hinata doing?" he asked, unable to delay the question any longer.

"Yuri was right, she is dehydrated and has a mild heat stroke. I would recommend keeping her hydrated on an IV overnight as planned… and perhaps taking her off of the clean up crew" she said lightly without looking at the Kazekage.

Gaara nodded relieved despite himself that nothing worse was going on with her. "Is that your report?" he asked, gesturing to the documents she was carrying.

Sakura looked distracted and guilty. Having been the Kazekage for almost 10 years now, Gaara knew when someone was hiding information from him. It was especially easy when the individual looked as guilty as Sakura did at the moment. So he directed all of his focus and attention towards the squirming shinobi. "What aren't you telling me?" he asked her directly.

She sighed, but it came out like a shudder. And then she was quiet for a few minutes gathering strength. "There's…" her voice broke as she looked away. "There's something you don't know… that happened a while ago" she whispered.

He blinked. He hadn't been expecting that.

The kunoichi continued, "When Hinata was initially brought to the hospital in Konoha after the accident… she suffered a miscarriage…" Sakura sniffled.

Gaara's entire world stopped as he stared at the girl blankly.

"She doesn't know,and… I wasn't sure if you… knew" Sakura said, wringing her hands and from the fawaway look in the Kazekage's face it was clear this was news to Gaara as well.

The pinkettes voice continued to fade further away to Gaara as the sand within his gourd stormed, but he caught the end when she said "But I had to tell someone…"


It was much later, around 1 AM when Gaara was free to go see Hinata again. Yuri was sleeping on a chair next to the bed Hinata was in when he walked into the medical office and Gaara signaled for his friend to leave.

Yuri didn't say anything, probably already sensing the mood that he was in. The medic was excellent at deducing not just people's physical health, but also their mental and emotional states. And it would be safe to say that Gaara was feeling pretty mentally distraught tonight.

Gaara didn't remember exactly what he did after the man left the room. But when he woke up later he was curled next to Hinata on the small one person cot. His face was tucked into her neck and his arm rested around her middle.

She smelled sweaty, salty and slightly medical but underneath all that he caught the scent of lilac and tea soap. Her scent had changed a bit from what he remembered.

A child. They had almost had a child together. A small toddler running played in his mind, and its hair changed from flashes of red to black almost as if his imagination couldn't make up its mind who the child would look more like. In his mind's eye, the toddler was running towards Hinata and she caught him in a hug swinging the child up and into her arms giving the baby a big kiss. She had always been very affectionate like that. She would have been a great mother….

A family. He had almost had his own family.

He didn't realize he was crying until his tears seeped into his lips and the salt cut through the haze that he was in. He closed his eyes tighter, settling deeper into a blanket of darkness and denial as he nuzzled his face deeper into Hinata's neck. Since the accident had happened well over a year and a half ago now, he'd struggled to come to terms with it all. They had been so happy, planning a wedding and a life together. That had all gotten snatched from them because of one accident. He still had no proper intel on what had happened to cause Hinata's accident.

All the Suna Jounin that had been on the mission with her had died. So the details he had on that mission were incomplete, but what he did know is that he hadn't assigned her to an S-rank mission. They'd been anticipating their wedding around the corner so he'd been careful to only assign her to C and B rank missions. Something had gone very wrong back then… and he still had no idea what.

The soft beeping of the machines lulled Gaara into a semi-sleep. 'I will be stronger when I wake up', he thought as the flashes of a child that would never be ran through his mind. He would have to be stronger, and sleep will help, he remembered thinking before he fell easily into unconsciousness given his sleep deprived state.

He could only ever sleep deeply next to Hinata anyway...


Hinata woke up in a dark room.

The beeping of the machines and the smell of the hospital sadly was not foreign to her, so she wasn't alarmed immediately upon waking. What happened she tried to remember? Since losing her memory, she'd had many such instances where she woke up and tried to piece together information available to her into a story that made sense. But she knew now not to panic.

Hinata remembered walking into Gaara's office and then what…? She tried to sit up to get more information only to realize that an arm was anchoring her down. She looked down at her midriff puzzled.

It was a strong arm lightly sprinkled with reddish blonde hair, there were some cuts along it but overall… It looked well defined and muscular. She stiffened from head to toe realizing that it was a man's arm, and turned to look at who was next to her.

A striking head of red hair greeted her vision and there was only one man she knew who had that shade of hair. Oddly, she relaxed noticing that Gaara was sleeping. His deep and even breath tickled her from where his head rested against the nape of her neck. He had even taken his Kage robe off and was dressed in burnt red colored pants and a black shirt.

Normally in the presence of Gaara time seemed to freeze for Hinata.

That was because she found him to be so severe and scary to be around. His sea green eyes were piercing and cold like Arctic waters. It was perfect for snaring people into a state of respect and command, but it wasn't the warm and inviting sky blue she'd dreamt about as a child. These harsh eyes contrasted against his pale, almost translucent skin and with eyebrows that appeared devoid of color it was a bit unsettling. His rugged features commanded attention, emanating an air of authority when he was solemn, and transforming into something ominously sinister when he was angry. So all in all Hinata thought that Gaara possessed an ethereal charm that could rival that of an angel or perhaps the devil.

And yet… she thought looking closer at his face. The faint reddish-dark smudges around his eyes, the few fine lines fanning at the creases of his eyes coupled with his fiery red hair, anchored him to the realm of the mortals. Making him seem real and relatable.

This odd line of thinking struck Hinata like a bolt of lightning, catching her off guard.

She suddenly found herself captivated by his allure, an attraction that had escaped her until this very moment. Her gaze wandered, fixating on his mouth. It was no longer stern and confined to its usual line, his lips were now at ease in slumber, appearing irresistibly soft and inviting. It was an unexpected glimpse into a tender side of him she hadn't realized was a possibility before.

In that fleeting instant Hinata realized what could have attracted him to her before. A raw sexual spark of attraction lit and spread throughout her body suddenly making her hot and squirmy. She exhaled a shaky breath and settled into observing him closer.

Even before a minute of calm observance had passed the image of a red haired boy flashed through her mind. A red haired boy covered in sand with a giant gourd strapped to his back. A boy whose face had cracks of sand and was twisted beyond sinister to insanity as he crushed his opponents into a bloody soup with a huge smile. A boy who almost ended Lee's shinobi career during the chunin exams…

She sat up with a gasp hyperventilating and feeling nauseated needing to get away from him. She was struggling to breath when Gaara woke up, perhaps from the noise or it could have been from her clawing at his arm trying to get it off of her.

He blinked groggily at the sudden commotion sitting up immediately remembering where he was. He noticed in alarm that Hinata was struggling to breathe. Had he done something to her in her sleep?

"Hey… I'm here… are you okay?" he asked gently, rubbing her back despite her pushing him away, but his attention only made her more hysterical.

"What's wrong?" he asked, confused.

Just then Yuri burst into the room alerted by the beeping monitors and noticed that Gaara was sitting on the bed next to the Hyuga. He chose to keep his mouth shut despite the confusing thoughts running through his mind and instead moved closer to Hinata noticing that she was having a panic attack.

"Hinata," he said carefully, giving Gaara a meaningful look. "Look, Hinata? Hinata… that's right" he said when she looked at him with huge eyes struggling for air, "focus on the sound of my voice. It's going to be okay."

She looked terrified and the normal lilac parts of her eyes had now receded to pure white.

"Here" Yuri said, offering her his hand and she grasped onto it with a panicked face. The medic then sat at the edge of the bed and started talking to her in a soothing tone, murmuring that everything was going to be okay and to focus on breathing. He knew she wasn't really hearing him… but at least she was focusing on his voice and breathing. He continued to rub her back to the rhythm of his talking and within 5 minutes or so had brought her a bag to breathe into as she started to calm down. Within a few more minutes he gave her a sedative to relax and looked at Gaara once the girl had fallen back into an exhausted sleep.

The Kazekage was standing in the corner of the room looking glacial with his lips pursed in a line. Yuri didn't need to or even have the chance to say anything before the younger man stepped out of the room.

"Wait… Gaara!" Yuri followed his friend closely behind. "Stop" he called out and Gaara turned to look at him.

He could tell that his friend was devastated. Sand was swirling around him and his entire body looked as if it was carved from stone due to the tension.

"What… happened?" he asked stupidly, because he lacked any other context to broach this conversation.

"I don't know" Gaara replied a few seconds later after he'd gained control over his emotions and breathing. "I was sleeping… she woke up like that… scared."

"Perhaps she had a nightmare," Yuri replied. However they both knew Hinata probably had a panic attack because she found Gaara sleeping next to her. But… saying that wouldn't help anyone at the moment.

After a few more seconds he noticed that Gaara's breathing settled and his shoulders relaxed.

"I shouldn't have been there," he said matter of factly.

"You were watching over her."

"She's still scared of me" Gaara replied almost as if he was speaking to himself.

"I wouldn't read too much into what happened in that room just now" Yuri looked over his shoulder at the sleeping girl. They could both still see her from the hallway. "Why… is she here anyway?"

Gaara laughed at the question. "Kakashi wants to fuck with my head…" he rubbed his forehead and sighed, "...I don't know, your guess is as good as mine."

"… you know that's not true. He probably thought Hinata was going to be a comfort to you."

"A comfort" Gaara scoffed.

"Don't you still love her?" he asked, truly puzzled.

It took Gaara a really long time to answer that question.

Yuri observed his friend's face as he continued to look at Hinata like a hawk for what felt like an eternity before speaking.

"Our engagement is dissolved. And no I don't love her. She isn't the Hinata I knew anymore. I'm not sure what life is going to have in store for this Hinata… and who she's going to grow into being… but I don't think I have any place in THIS Hinata's life. Thank you… for taking care of her." With that and a small smile directed at him, Gaara turned and left, leaving a trail of sand across the hallway indicative of how agitated the man still was.

Yuri pressed his lips into a line annoyed at how stubborn his friend was being. He knew how hurt Gaara was and had been by all this. But… distancing and withdrawing from Hinata wasn't the answer. He felt almost certain the reason Gaara continued to pull away from the girl was because he was afraid… Afraid he wouldn't be able to win Hinata's heart again if he tried.

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Next morning - Emergency Elder Council Gathering - Sunagakure

The grand hall of Sunagakure stood proudly, an architectural marvel that bore witness to the desert city's storied past and unwavering fortitude. Carved meticulously from the very bedrock that formed the foundation of the village, this revered meeting place exuded an air of indomitable strength.

The room was designed to harness the natural elements of the desert. Strategically placed windows allowed gentle breeze to flow through, bringing with them the whispers of the wind and the aromatic scent of desert blooms. Overhead, an array of skylights offered glimpses of the vast expanse of the cloudless sky, allowing dappled sunlight to illuminate the room during the day and the glow of stars and the moon to paint the space with a serene ambiance during nighttime.

But despite the reverent feel of this space, Gaara couldn't help but feel haunted stepping into the grand hall.

This was after all a place where he'd been stuck working late nights countless times. And there had been many nights in recent years Hinata had snuck in with food to distract him and to tempt him into going on late night adventures with her. That wasn't all, there had also been many nights where they had inevitably ended up disheveled and tangled up after quick bouts of lovemaking. Sometimes under the grand meeting table and sometimes out in the desert…

But today he needed to keep his thoughts sharp. Those were memories best forgotten he gulped as he adjusted his stuffy robes entering the antechamber even as his heart and stomach felt like it was shredding into pieces. This wasn't a new feeling. The whole city of Sunagakure was haunted for him. So despite the heart ache and lingering ghosts that haunted his steps, Gaara pressed on.

This meeting had been called last minute by the Sunagakure elders likely due to the newly-circling gossip about him and Hinata. Nothing good could come from an emergency gathering such as this, so he was late on purpose. Plus he hated small talk and preferred to get down to business.

Everyone in the room stood as he entered and he waved indicating that they could sit as he walked to the head of the room sitting down. It wasn't long before the meeting was called to order that the vultures (as he was starting to think of them) made their purpose known.

"Kazakage-sama" the Head of the Miruzo family - a very prominent family in Suna, opened the conversation.

"Miruzo-sama, is this meeting really necessary?" Temari asked getting down to business quicker than usual. They were all overworked and burnt out. "There is still much to do in restoring the city and handling the circumstances surrounding this unknown threat to Suna… why are we here wasting time on clan politics?"

The elders shifted uncomfortably, their displeasure evident at Temari's brusque tone.

"Well… we wouldn't need to waste time if a certain Konoha kuinochi hadn't been sent back to Sunagakure," Miruzo answered.

"Konoha is an allied nation, they sent us support via the strongest shinobi they have in our times of need… and Hinata was sent since the Hokage was not aware that our engagement had been dissolved" Gaara lied, "It seems the missive I sent had not been received by Konoha".

"I see…" Akifumi-sama interjected. "When we sent her back to Konoha last year the political situation between the two nations was precarious. We are not aware of why she received shelter here when she was labeled as a missing nin from Konohagakure in the first place… and then she went on to become the Kazekage's fiance to boot… a foreigner who'd been disowned by her clan!" he spat.

"What exactly is your point?" Gaara asked.

"I think they are worried you are reconciling with your ex-fiance" Kankuro smirked at the elders.

'Yeah right'... Gaara thought back to last night grimly. But he chose to remain silent for the time being.

"A Kazekage's marriage is a serious commitment to be considered heavily. We humbly ask that you consider what is best for the country before making any rash decisions...again" Miruzo smiled at Gaara.

"There is no chance of me reconciling with the Hyuuga," Gaara said blankly. "Is that all then?"

"Why won't you send her home then, that seems to be the most sound solution?"

Gaara paused to consider that, "with an unknown threat and the well being of this nation and its people on the balance, I find myself hard pressed to send back a kunoichi who has the gift of the Byakugan."

"Why don't you consider re-marriage?" Sato-sama asked, shifting the conversation in a different direction.

Gaara looked at her in disbelief, "I have my hands full as it is."

"Well having a sane and stable partner would only help you in these trying times and it would do wonders to restore the morale of the country" she smiled.

A surge of anger coursed through Gaara making him want to rip the room to shreds… mainly because of the backhanded insult to Hinata. She had been perfectly sane and stable before her amnesia.

"Okay let's all calm down" Temari jumped in noticing the sand circling Gaara.

"Gaara IS considering remarrying," Kankuro replied over his sister. "Matsuri is one of his top contenders."

The room erupted into an uproar and Gaara looked at his brother with a sigh. Oddly his comment went a long way in calming Gaara down and Kankuro winked back at him knowing that.

These vultures didn't give two fucks about the well being of Suna, their main objectives were to set up an alliance with the Kazekage so that their own future offspring were in line to succession and had a higher chance at gaining more power.

What a waste of time he thought as he angrily got up and exited the room effectively dismissing the meeting.

.


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Hinata ran into Gaara in the living room and paused awkwardly realizing that he was distracted and hadn't noticed her yet. He looked angry and his sand was circling him almost like a mist as he prowled through the room.

How fascinating and scary she thought shivering.

"A-are…. you okay?" she asked and then could have bitten her tongue as he stopped walking and turned to look at her, the sand immediately dropping around him.

She blinked looking at the floor.

"How are you feeling?" Gaara asked as if he hadn't registered her question.

"Oh… much better" she felt herself blushing. "I…I-I'm sorry about yesterday."

Gaara nodded, accepting her apology and assessed her from head to toe.

"W-what were you doing on the cot with me… if… if you don't mind me asking?" she voiced the question she had been dreading at him.

Hinata saw a look of surprise flash across his face before he masked his features into blankness, "I… apologize." he said slowly and deliberately, thinking, "My insomnia must have gotten the best of me and I must have passed out when I came to check on you."

That wasn't a satisfactory answer but… she let it be as his mention of his insomnia tugged at her heart. It really did make her upset to see him so stressed and tired.

"That's quite alright" she said gently, "um before I fainted yesterday… I was coming to see you about something?"

"Ah right," he nodded now regaining his assertiveness, "you are being pulled from the city clean up crew. Report to the Kage tower mailroom tomorrow, you will be scanning arriving parcels."

Scanning parcels…? she thought confused.

"Oy'' a voice echoed in the large room as Kankuro walked in. He paused seeing Hinata who was in a dress with cap sleeves and a boat neck. The jersey material of the dress draped appreciatively over her figure and looked simple and feminine. And the lilac color complimented her glowing makeup free complexion.

"You… look nice" he said scratching his head making her blush. "Anyway Gaara you owe me a drink for dealing with that mess back there" he slapped his brother in the back fondly.

Gaara nodded distracted.

"Marriage talks for you… haha" Kankuro cackled.

Marriage…? Hinata paused, suddenly looking at Gaara's ring finger. "Are you getting married?" she whispered but Gaara and Kankuro heard her well enough. The Sabakuno siblings turned to look at her with similar blank expressions.

Gaara seemed speechless so Kankuro jumped in. "The elders want him to get married, he's at a marriageable age after all" the older man answered good naturedly.

"What does that make you then?" Gaara snapped at his brother sarcastically.

"Hey, don't look at me" Kankuro said jokingly with his arms up in surrender. "I have no interest in a political marriage."

Hinata looked between the brothers, feeling awkward. Was the Kazekage looking to get married?

"Who said I have interest in a political marriage?" Gaara asked softly.

"That is precisely why you need to take this opportunity and ask Matsuri out. I've watched you two dance around each other for years… and you gotta take a chance you know. Otherwise you will regret it."

Hinata gulped. Gaara had danced around Matusri for years? Even when he'd been involved with her?

Gaara looked at her from the corner of his eyes noting her tension and threw his brother a look. Kankuro picked up on what he'd said and tried to lighten the mood. "I… er… yeah… well I will leave it at that. Gaara just think about it and I'll talk to you two later" he finished and then left with a wave.

Hinata laughed lightly at the resulting vacuum of silence taking Gaara by surprise.

"Oh please" she waved her hands, "I am not laughing at you. Just at life and its ironies"

He nodded.

"Kazekage-sama if you don't mind me asking. There is a question that has been bugging me for a while. Do you know…" she looked up at him meaningfully, "do you know why I left Konoha despite knowing I'd be labeled as a missing nin?"

Gaara blinked in surprise, "Er… I believe it had something to do with Naruto picking Sakura to date over you…" he said uncomfortably looking away from her. Even now he took no pleasure in reminding her about Naruto.

She was dumbstruck. So Naruto had known about her feelings and she'd sustained them into her adulthood? A few seconds of silence trickled by. "In that case, why did you shelter me as a missing nin?"

"... because Naruto asked me to" Gaara said again very matter of factly.

Hinata nodded, feeling overwhelmed. This was just so much information and she had no idea how to feel about it. It was exhausting. "Ah… and then we gradually started to be involved?"

The red head nodded.

"Did we love each other?" she couldn't help but ask.

Gaara didn't answer her for a long time, and even when he did it was only to say, "Would it matter if we had?"

She blinked at that. Of course it would matter but she wasn't sure in what way. "I'm sorry... for what it's worth, I'm sorry that I don't remember."

"It's not your fault…" he smiled ruefully, "It's nobody's fault. Perhaps we should both move on?" Gaara looked at her emphatically and she didn't know what to say to that.

So after a few more seconds he nodded at her firmly and turned to leave.

Hinata stood there blinking feeling stupid for some reason for a long time afterwards.

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