Chapter 5
Kazekage's Office - Cont.
Hinata continued to look at Gaara after Matsuri left the room… face still purple.
"Er… right," Gaara cleared his throat, "Hinata did you need something?"
"A-ano, there is a parcel you received heading this way. I was asked to come and scan it."
"Okay" he nodded, moving towards his chair. "You can take a seat" he gestured to the couches he had set up off to the side of his office.
"I would have thought you didn't have time for relationships right now" she murmured looking around the room trying to understand why her stomach felt like it was in knots.
Gaara tensed looking at her with surprise before moving on to scan his desk. She thought he was going to ignore her comment until he countered dryly a few seconds later while skimming over a report on his desk- "If I wait until I have time to do things… I would never have a life or a relationship."
She sat there stunned. He had effectively rendered her speechless and he was right. So without any other comments she sat on the couch not understanding why her mood was so sour. For the life of her she couldn't lift her downturned lips at the moments into a smile so she pretended to look out the windows. Why did she care if Matsuri and Gaara dated? They seemed like a lovely couple.
"Kazakage-sama," two shinobi walked in a few minutes later bring in a package, breaking the tension in the room.
Gaara thanked them and handed in exchange a stack of reports to be delivered to Temari before dismissing the two.
He then turned to Hinata with a nod, and she automatically turned on her Byakugan scanning the parcel. It was just a box with a lot of files - nothing concerning. She nodded indicating it was safe and Gaara moved to open the package grabbing a handful of additional files from it.
"Why…" she tilted her head looking at Gaara closely with her dojutsu still on. "Why is the chakra flow disturbed around your heart?"
Gaara looked confused. "What?"
"It's" Hinata gestured at his chest, "the flow is unstable."
Gaara rubbed his chest trying to remember, "I….I took a hit during the Akatsuki attack, I must still be recovering?"
"Ah…" Hinata nodded, "You should make sure to see Sakura-chan, unless you'd like me to restore it."
"You remember how to do that?" he asked in surprise.
"Yes, some elements of chakra control seem to be like muscle memory. Once Hanabi went through it with me, my powers and how to use the byakugan came back pretty quickly to me."
"Oh… well then… sure I guess. I always forget to ask Sakura." Gaara nodded looking at her.
Wait… was he really letting HER repair his chakra pathways? The Kazekage?
"Are you sure?" she asked nervously to which he narrowed his eyes. "Okay well… then… um you'll have to take off your robe." She blushed 3 shades darker suddenly rather hot, feeling like the virgin she wasn't.
Gaara paused for a second but then nodded and moved to undo the buttons of his collar and continued down the front of his chest until the robe was loose. She stopped breathing as he took it off and was almost dizzy with relief that he had a black t-shirt on underneath along with dark green camo pants. Now he looked less like a kage and more like a soldier. His arms were much larger than she'd anticipated and as she remembered from that night in the hospital wing, they did have a light dusting of red hair along with a few small scars here and there.
He looked a lot less like a polished politician without his robe on and she found that rather attractive…
"Will this do?" he asked, drawing her out of her day dream and she nodded. After a few seconds spent gathering her thoughts Hinata spoke up, "You can lie down if you prefer?"
Gaara looked around the room contemplatively before heading towards the couch and she followed close behind, turning on her Byakugan after he got settled in not wanting to prolong this.
As she looked at his chest closely she was able to see that the chakra flow around his heart was very disturbed indeed. Almost as if he had been struck to the chest with a huge blow.
Her legs started to feel a bit wobbly as she sat next to him. "Kazekage-sama, h-how did you become this injured?" she asked in an unsteady voice.
Gaara blinked at her, confused by her emotions. "I…err. I took a hit to the chest when the attack was happening?"
"And you kept on fighting after that?" she asked incredulously.
"Well it did knock me on my feet a bit but I was okay after…"
"The chakra flow around your heart is very disturbed" she said tightly. "This would be injurious to you if you hadn't had this looked at… how many other things do you just brush aside?"
Gaara again looked at her silently and she realized she was crossing a line. "Ah" she blinked rapidly, "sorry… I er… I will get working."
With that she concentrated and hovered her glowing hands over his chest before taking a deep breath, grounding herself as she began the task. Her hands began to radiate a soft, warm glow as she concentrated her chakra, channeling it to her fingertips. The healing energy surged through her, tingling with a mixture of compassion and purpose. Gently, she placed her hands on Gaara's chest, feeling the thumping of his heart beneath her palms.
As she made contact, Gaara winced, his body tensing up. Hinata knew the process would be painful, but she couldn't let that distract her.
She focused her eyes, shutting out the outside world, and centered solely on the task at hand. Her chakra flowed into Gaara's body, meticulously unraveling the twisted and damaged pathways. It was a delicate dance as Hinata navigated through the maze of disruptions, carefully mending and realigning each disrupted connection. The energy pulsed beneath her touch and time blurred for Hinata as she worked diligently, her hands moving swiftly and surely.
Every once in a while Gaara's body would twitch and jerk, his muscles reacting to the intense pain and her body cramped along with him. She hated to see him in pain, and felt that as a visceral reaction in her own body. She tucked that thought away for further examination later and concentrated.
Finally, after what felt like an hour, Hinata felt a surge of satisfaction. The pathways were fully repaired, and the energy flowed freely once more. She withdrew her hands slowly as the glow dissipated as she released her jutsu.
As she drew away Gaara released a shuddering breath and she noticed that he was sweating. "Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.
He took another deep breath at her question and straightened up rubbing his chest. "I… will be" he murmured. "Well… I do feel much better now. You did... a really good job… thank you Hinata." he finished softly.
And she felt an entirely new sensation of warmth wash over her at his compliment. "My pleasure," she nodded proud of herself for his recognition.
Gaara grabbed his robe again slipping it on and headed over to his desk. She let the Kazekage reclaim his bearings as she looked around his office. "What… is all this?" Hinata gestures at the files, changing the subject.
Gaara too looked around the room while he buttoned his robe back. "Research," he said as he adjusted his collar.
Her hands burned from the effort it took not to walk over and help him adjust his collar so she discreetly tucked them under her thighs. What was wrong with her?
"I am reading up on the Akatsuki." he continued after a few seconds in the way of an explanation.
Hinata's face fell. He looked at her curiously for a few seconds and then stood up with a few files walking over towards her.
"Here" he passed her a stack. "This is our basic intelligence on the Akatsuki from the war. That should bring you up to speed. But remember Hinata, the research I'm doing is confidential."
"Ah… I understand. And t-thank you" she stammered, caught off guard.
"You can read on the couch if you'd like and ask me any questions." he nodded to his right before standing up and walking back over to his desk.
.
Hours later
.
Hinata's eye twitched as she watched Gaara brew his 2nd pot of coffee for the day since she arrived at his office.
"You haven't eaten yet." she said with a slightly testy note in her voice.
"Hmm?" he asked absently walking back to his desk reading something while holding a cup of coffee.
She sighed. "You can't live like this… coffee isn't a meal."
Gaara looked up at her blankly. "What is going on?" he asked, looking around confused.
"Never mind I'll be back…" she got up and headed out to grab him some lunch. "Wait, is there anything you don't eat?"
"Nothing sweet."
Hinata returned 30 minutes later with two bento boxes of sushi and onigiri along with a bottle of water for Gaara. Except… the room was empty.
"Oh Gaara-sama had a meeting to get to" his secretary Nobu looked nervously at her. "He should be back in an hour or so."
She sighed in disappointment, she had a feeling he wouldn't be eating for hours yet. "Can I leave this for him?"
Nobu nodded. So under the watchful eye of Gaara's secretary Hinata left him a note reminding to eat.
.
.
Kage Tower - Mailroom
Hinata spent the rest of the day working with Saromi, and since the mailroom tended to get a lot of visitors they had many interactions with shinobi throughout the day. Both young and old people circulated through this space and Hinata watched with amusement as a young man tried to flirt with Saromi and walked away bright red at the rejection.
It was safe to say that Saromi got a LOT of attention.
"You really should give him a chance," Hinata remarked lightly. "He seemed nice."
"Maybe" Saromi said mischievously, "he was very cute."
Hinata looked down at the parcel she was carrying thoughtfully.
Over the last year in Konoha, she too had been approached by men and even one woman for a date… she hadn't said yes to any of these invitations of course… she hadn't felt ready… but at least she had known she was considered attractive in the conventional sense. At 12 her self confidence regarding her shinobi skills, body, appearance … everything regarding her self in general had been horrible. So reconciling the difference with the person she'd grown into and having confidence in herself had been important. And who was she kidding? The attention had been a nice ego boost. But in Suna she noticed that no one looked at her other than from a cursory and perfunctory perspective.
"Am I…" she asked hesitantly, "Am I not considered attractive in this country?"
"WHAT?" Saromi asked, her eyes almost bulging out.
"I mean… I just realized in the time I've been here no one has checked me out… or asked me out. Sure... it's only been a few weeks, but... it's usually a given with shinobi to expect a bit of light hearted flirting at least… no?"
Saromi was looking at her amused.
"What?" Hinata asked.
"Nothing," Saromi said laughing.
Hinata blushed, feeling silly. "Is it because I used to date the Kazekage?"
"Uh DUH" Saromi laughed at her. "Would you want to risk pissing your Hokage off?"
"I guess not…" Hinata laughed dryly.
A shinobi appeared at the door just as they were cleaning out the office for the day. Hinata and Saromi turned expectantly.
"Hinata-san, the Kazekage-sama had requested your presence" the woman said with a bow.
Hinata felt her heartbeat accelerate. And not... in fear.
Saromi looked at her friend sardonically as she grabbed her things and headed out for the day with a goodbye. She chuckled once more, remembering Hinata's silly question.
.
.
Kazekage's Office
When Hinata walked into Gaara's office for the third time that day he was seated in the room with Sakura. She felt her stomach swoop in disappointment at not having time alone with him.
What has been going on with her lately?
After exchanging greetings, Gaara stood up offering Sakura a smile. Her lips pursed at his comfortable smile at the pinkette.
"Sakura-san here is going to do another check up on you Hinata. She mentioned that since coming to Suna she'd barely had time to check in on you. Yari wasn't able to meet for our Health Update today, so I decided to give this time for Sakura to connect with you. So…. on that note I will leave you two to it."
"A-ano" Hinata offered jerkily. "Will you be b-back after? I have something to ask you."
Ugh crap crap crap, Hinata chided herself in her head. What was she doing? She had nothing to ask him. All she knew was that she wanted to see him again… alone.
Gaara seemed surprised. "Um.. yes" he looked down at his watch, "I should be back in an hour or so." he turned to Sakura, "If your exam finishes up sooner than that, give Nobu a heads up?"
Sakura nodded.
After the door closed behind Gaara, Hinata turned to Sakura helplessly. Wanting to ask the medic what the hell is going on with me?
"Hinata-chan" Sakura smiled, "How are you feeling?"
Hinata smiled back queasily, "Good…or I mean okay" she offered not really knowing what else to say.
"Any dizziness or nausea?"
"No," Hinata confirmed.
"Any difficulty concentrating or blurry vision or pain?"
"No"
"Hinata-chan… I don't need to do a full examination on you. I know Yari-san recently did a physical and blood work and everything looked okay. But there was a reason I wanted to talk to you. This is a bit uncomfortable to ask, but … are you on any contraceptives at the moment?"
Hinata stared at Sakura blankly.
"I… well I don't want to presume anything. But you are a sexually mature woman who's lost her memory. So I think it's time I discuss this with you as your doctor. Based on your charts... Yuri-san used to prescribe you contraceptives before you lost your memory… the pill. Are you interested in going back on that?"
Hinata stared blankly.
"Okay well if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. Now other than that… I don't think we had our safe sex class at the academy until 14 years of age or so… so please consider using additional forms of protection that protect against STD and STI's if you do engage in any activities."
Hinata vaguely wondered if she had passed out from embarrassment during whatever academic class Sakura was talking about back at the age of 14, because she felt ready to pass out now. She was too embarrassed to ask Sakura what protection from STD and STIs meant, so she nodded instead wanting to cry.
"Hinata-chan" Sakura said softly. "Is… is any of your memory returning?"
"No…"
"Well… at this stage I think you already know that we consider this to be long term permanent amnesia?"
Hinata nodded.
"There isn't much more we can do… I don't think we will need to have our regular check-ins anymore unless your status changes. So please let me know if anything starts coming back… okay?"
There were other shinobi who had suffered worse brain injuries or even death. She reminded herself keeping her chin high that this was a risk of the job. As shinobi they knew that.
Hinata got up with Sakura and bid the girl goodbye with a smile. She didn't realize until Gaara walked into the office an indeterminate amount of time later that she'd been left alone in here.
This sometimes used to happen to her over the last year… time slippage.
"What's wrong?" he asked after assessing her for a few seconds.
"Oh… nothing" she blinked. "I didn't realize… I was just waiting here" she gestured helplessly.
"You had something to ask me?" he reminded her gently.
"Oh…" Hinata laughed, "I-I can't remember what…" then she laughed again helplessly at the irony.
She felt the edges of a panic attack coming.
"Here" Gaara nodded and sat next to her, holding out his hand. She grasped it gently but wasn't in the state of mind to realize this was the first time she was holding his hands since her memory loss.
His hand was warm. He seemed so untouchable. But his hand was warm. Her thoughts were fragmented. She focused on breathing… the edges of her vision blurred. She couldn't focus on any one thought, she felt herself retreating inwards, her heart rate increased and she felt like she would never be able to control her heart rate again.
When she later came back to herself she was leaning against Gaara's chest and he was slowly rubbing her back. Their hands were still linked.
She blinked looking up at him and that is when she realized she'd been crying. Gaara was looking at her but he didn't say anything. His eyes looked soft and worried, but she could tell he didn't know what to ask or say without causing her another panic attack.
So he simply let her detach herself and scoot back on the couch away from him.
"I'll order some tea," he said gently standing up.
Once she had a steaming cup of tea in her hands she started talking. "There's no logic to it...it just happens but it hasn't happened in a long time. It's usually triggered when I feel confused or out of control…"
"What made you feel that way today?" He was genuinely curious.
"Sakura-chan just confirmed what I already knew… that my memory isn't returning. And I've dealt with it, I really have… but it's just so hard sometimes. There's so much I don't know and I don't even know what I don't know or should know. People treat me like a child because I don't know things, they tip toe around me… and they clearly need to" she exclaimed gesturing at her current condition.
"What helps?" he asked because he had no idea what to say back to that.
"What are STI's and STD's?" she asked instead.
Gaara choked on his tea. "W-what?"
"I just had a safe sex talk with Sakura-chan and I have no idea what …." then her face turned red. Realizing who she was talking to… sure this was her ex-lover… but this was also the Kazekage.
She had no memories of him as a lover, but she knew him to be the most powerful figure in Suna. What was she doing? Just when she was about to bolt, Gaara answered her.
"It's sexually transmitted diseases and infections. It can be passed on from an infected partner to another and so on if people engage in unprotected sex."
"Oh" she said, processing that. That seemed simple enough. "How do I know if I am infected?"
Gaara's entire face and body seemed to turn to stone at that. "There's… tests" he said lightly, turning away from her.
"Oh I see."
He walked up and over to his window looking out. His shoulders were tense and sand was swirling around his feet.
Hinata frowned. "Oh I am so sorry" she jumped up. "I… I'm asking you all these inappropriate questions and wasting your time. I'm really sorry."
"Have you had other partners?" he asked, turning back to look at her suddenly.
"A-ano w-what?"
"Other sexual partners in the last year?" he bit out.
"Oh… no" she admitted honestly.
His shoulders relaxed and the sand stilled. It was a few more seconds before he said anything, "then you should be fine… without any tests for now at least."
"Ah…" she nodded understanding his meaning with a slight smile. Although she didn't know why she was smiling.
"Come back tomorrow again. I am going to borrow you from the mailroom for a few hours a day. I need some help investigating the Akatsuki and I don't have nearly enough time to dedicate to it. And I don't have any other resources at the time that I trust enough to pull away from their current duties."
She blinked, feeling honored that he trusted her. All she could do was nod. After that she was dismissed.
.
.
Matsuri found Gaara at his office still working at 1 AM. This wasn't unusual…
"Hey" she nodded, walking in.
Gaara nodded back and stopped what he was doing. After assessing her quietly he opened his desk drawer and took out a chocolate bar from his stash offering it up to her.
70% dark chocolate- she smiled. Gaara didn't have a sweet tooth, but he enjoyed dark chocolate.
"We have 3 leads," he explained leaning back on his chair. He had his robe off so his black t-shirt stretched nicely over his chest and stomach. "One is Oto."
Oto had been the leader of the opioid and drug cartels originating from Suna. He was a cutthroat criminal that was apprehended years ago and sent to the Blood Prison. There had been rumors of an escape brewing lately.
"Another is Subisu" Gaara pulled another file.
Subisu was the leader of an organization that stood for eliminating the world of Jinchurikis. Gaara was at the top of her list since he was currently a Kage as well. She was harmless for the most part, but fully capable of hiring mercenaries to carry out her dirty work.
"Since you were attacked in particular during the attack we should consider this lead seriously" Matsuri murmured.
Gaara shrugged, as the Kazekage he would always be at the center of the brunt of most attacks. But he didn't say that out loud.
"And the third?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Zensu."
"Whose that?"
"It's a lead Naruto and Sasuke found, so I'll have to wait to get more details once they are back, but I have put out a RFI on it. So far we don't have much information."
"Okay well we will investigate these for now" Matusuri nodded. "Have you briefed the others yet?"
"No, I will hold a meeting tomorrow. And I don't want to bother Temari right now."
She nibbled on the chocolate bar thoughtfully.
"You came to ask about the date" he said matter of factly reading her correctly. Gaara was a person who said very little in most circumstances, but around his close friends and family… he tried.
"Yes…" she replied with no trace of amusement in her voice.
"Well… I am not the best at these things. But I… was honest when I spoked earlier. I did and do want to ask you out…" he sighed, raking his hands through his hair. "I just don't know if all that's going on right now is going to make it challenging to start a new relationship."
Matsuri bit her lips in disappointment. She could wait. She's already waited for so long, but she wasn't going to lie she was intimidated that Hinata was here right now. So she decided to be honest with him,
"Gaara… to be honest, I've waited this long, what's a few more weeks? But… I'm selfish in wanting you all to myself. I'm worried you are going to change your mind about this… now that Hinata is here."
Gaara nodded and stood up thoughtfully extending his hands out to her.
She looked down at his palms blankly. They had never held hands before, not like this... Matsuri slowly grasped his warm calloused palms in shock, feeling her burly nature and defenses melting. She wanted to cry.
"I promise you, we will have our date. You know I don't break my promises." He said looking at their intertwined hands thoughtfully, his thumb slowly stroking her skin.
Hinata was an idiot, she thought as she looked down at his moving thumb. Matsuri would fight a thousand women and men to be standing here with Gaara, and Hinata had just thrown him away without even a second thought.
"Okay," she said with a shudder hating how vulnerable she felt right now. "I guess you may have to head to the Land of Earth soon anyway, and things here are still chaotic…. I agree that both our attention shouldn't waver at this point in time. But I'm going to hold you to it…" her voice broke as a tear slipped down her cheek.
Gaara's eyes softened as he reached out and gently wiped away her tear. His touch was tender and with a gentle squeeze of her hand he added, "I promise you, I won't let you down."
.
Quick note: Thanks for those of you reading and following along, and also for leaving reviews :). This is going to be my last update until the weekend, I have an exam Friday night :(. But thanks so much for the support and I promise I will update the story again soon!
