Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.
Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
Warning: OOC possible. One shot.
Rating: M (Not explicit but insinuations and wordings are)
Note: Zoronamiroronoa in Tumblr requested a jealous Zoro and a jealous Nami. I hope this will suffice for the long wait. I had real fun writing this so I hope she have fun reading it.
Summary: "Heh, got a taste of your own medicine?"
Little Bits and Pieces of Heaven
12: Bouts of Jealousy
"Uhm, Zoro?"
Usopp settled on the wooden bench next to the green-haired swordsman. He took note of the rather piercing glare Zoro gave him before knocking back the tankard of beer he was holding.
"Are you alright?"
"Never been better," Zoro answered, though a bit coldly for the sniper's liking.
Usopp clamped his mouth shut as his eyes shifted towards the inn's bar. Their navigator was sitting there surrounded by two attractive guys who were obviously hitting on her, laughing delightfully.
"Tch," Sanji made a sound from across them. "You are so incompetent," he remarked at the swordsman. He bit at his cigarette before taking a drag. "If I were her—"
"Shut up ero-cook," Zoro snarled. "Her business is her business. She's probably gonna rob those two for all we know."
"Oh," Robin murmured amusedly. "You may be right Zoro." She lifted her lovely blue eyes from her book to gaze at the swordsman. "But then again, Nami IS quite beautiful," she added and a 'Hai, I agree Robin-chwan' can be heard in the background. "She may also be enjoying their constant flattering of her very obvious assets."
Usopp felt the swordsman stiffened at that. "Way to go Robin," he muttered under his breath. Trust the archeologist to manipulate her nakama for her own twisted entertainment. "But Zoro's right. She's probably taking advantage of those poor bastards as usual."
"Yeah, probably," Franky said in a doubtful tone. He had seen Nami trail a finger on one of the men's jaw when he passed by the bar on his way to the Mugiwaras' table. Thank heavens, Zoro had his back turned to them.
"Hmm… well those two are not bad looking," Robin commented before taking a dainty sip on her coffee cup. "Would've been fun."
"Robin-chwan?" Sanji almost choked when he realized the possible implication of her statement.
The older woman shrugged. "All I'm saying is that those two would be… pleasant drinking companions since they're easy on the eyes."
Franky laughed as he settled down beside the archeologist. "Right," he said before gulping down his cola. Being older than most of their crewmates have its perks when it comes to deciphering double entendres.
"What Franky?" Robin glanced sideways at him… sharply.
There was something in her eyes and tone that made the cyborg shook his head and decided to change the subject. "Nothing. Where's Mugiwara by the way?"
Usopp pointed towards the other end of the pub where a lot of noises were coming from. "Buffet battle. With Chopper and Brook."
"Aww! That is super!"
Zoro, who was quiet all throughout the exchange, lifted a hand to signal one of the waitresses for another beer.
Usopp sighed. He gotta hand it to the swordsman. He admires the man's tolerance with the cat burglar's antics. Nami's not above doing a good deal of flirting or using her womanly charms when it comes to getting what she wants.
Take their cook as a perfect example.
Though her tricks are not effective with the former bounty hunter. Nami cannot make Zoro succumb to her flirting or her seducing ways especially if he is aware that she's trying to wheedle something out of him.
Sometimes Usopp thinks that Nami flirting with her 'victims' like crazy is somehow a sort of payback to Zoro being resistant.
Or it could also be a way to get the Supernova jealous.
Which is freaking scary knowing Zoro's tendency to rampage without so much a thought to the consequences.
The long-nosed sniper sighed again and shifted his attention to the tankard in front of him. He's overthinking things. Nami may just be getting chummy with her targets as usual and Zoro's irritable countenance probably had nothing to do with that.
Which is purely bullshit. Even he doesn't believe it.
"Hey! Why are they getting too close to Nami-san?" Sanji suddenly seethed. Everyone turned towards the bar and true enough the two men had shifted much closer to the orange-haired girl, almost sandwiching her between them. "If they so much touch a hair on her head—"
"Uh-oh," Franky intoned. "Cannot keep their hands to themselves!" He said with a shake of his head. One of the pirates had reached out and started playing with a lock of Nami's orange hair.
Sanji started spewing profanities and something about skewering.
"Yabe..." Usopp whispered nervously.
BANG!
Zoro suddenly slammed his tankard down on the table.
Everyone stopped talking at once and four pairs of eyes widened as he stood up and left without another word.
The rest of the Straw Hats raised their eyebrows at each other in astonishment.
Nami threw back her head and laughed at something the blond-haired guy on her left said. She made sure that she sounded so amused to make it appear like she was deeply interested with whatever they were telling her.
The navigator studied the two men discreetly. Both were tall, with excellent body structure and definitely attractive. From their looks, she could surmise that they are the kind who are suckers for pretty girls; those fascinated enough to fall for stories about their recent exploits and tussles.
She smiled sweetly when the blond winked at her. He was bragging about a recent island escapade where they managed to rip off a good deal of cash from some random pirate crew.
So that's where the scent of money is coming from.
The guy on her right—with dark brown hair and beautiful green eyes—started boasting about their encounter with a rear navy admiral while they were escaping the island and how easily they were able to kick that officer's ass.
Nami giggled. They are so… cute. And certainly gullible. Though she gotta applaud them for their rather convincing tales. If she was stupid and naïve, she'd definitely end up giving in to their charms.
But she's not.
She's not after a good time with these two crooks after all. No, no.
What she's actually there for are the belis inside their pouches calling out her name. They might be exaggerating with their stories, but not the money. Nami had noticed it the moment they entered the place.
Besides, she already had her hands full with a surly swordsman. These two would look like babies beside Roronoa Zoro.
The brown-haired guy suddenly reached out and touched her hair, twirling the orange strands playfully around his fingers as he smiled at her teasingly.
Nami frowned inwardly. She didn't like it when other people touch her hair. Zoro doesn't like it when other men touch her hair—especially if it's because she's flirting to steal.
Good thing the swordsman was busy with his beer.
She forced herself not to flinch at the gesture. Instead, she returned the smile flirtatiously.
This nicking better be damn worth it.
Nami felt the blond guy on her other side sidled closer to her. The one playing with her hair did the same, effectively trapping her between them.
Her guard was up at once and she stealthily moved her hand near her Clima-tact's hiding place.
Suddenly an arm wrapped itself around her waist. It tugged at her lightly, making her lean back towards a familiar strapping chest.
She tilted her head upwards and was surprised to see Zoro standing behind her.
"Playtime's over." His deep voice cut through their conversation, as sharp as his blades. She can feel his chest rumbling as he spoke lowly, almost threateningly.
"Hey!" The one on Nami's right protested and Zoro pinned him with a menacing glare.
"Hands off her hair."
The guy promptly swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in his throat, before letting go of Nami's hair. That was one hell of a frightening look.
The blond on her left simultaneously let out a small squeak at the sight of the scarred eye and three swords and hastily stepped away from the navigator.
Nami's brows drew together and she frowned. What is he doing? "The hell Zor—" she began, but he immediately cut her off.
"I want you upstairs now."
And despite the irritation she was feeling, a delicious shiver ran up and down her spine at his tone.
"But we saw her first!" The brown-haired man found the courage to loudly and stupidly protest. "Go get your own woman!" He snarled at the bounty hunter-turned-pirate, boldly resting a hand on Nami's bare thigh.
His friend on the other side desperately tried to make him stop; waving both hands to get his attention and silently pointing at the swords on Zoro's hips.
But the other guy was oblivious.
"Is that so?" Zoro cocked his head to the left so he can look at the idiot straight in the eye. The grin on his face promised nothing but pain. "That better not move another inch," he barely glanced at the man's hand. "Or you will lose it."
Nami closed her eyes and sighed. The buffoon just had to go and do that. Zoro will make mincemeat out of him even without his swords.
"Oh real… ly…" The guy's voice suddenly trailed off. He finally noticed his companion pointing at the weapons on Zoro's side, holding three fingers up.
Three swords?
The young man almost choked. His eyes widened and it went from Nami to Zoro then back again.
And he went deathly pale.
"You're…" he whispered and his friend on the other side nodded vigorously. His knees began to shake and it seemed to crawl up his body because Nami can actually feel the hand on her thigh trembling.
The blond darted towards his partner and pulled his hand away from the navigator. Without another word, he shoved his friend's head forward and made him bow down in front of the swordsman.
He followed suit.
"Sumimasen deshita! Roronoa Zoro-san!" The blond shouted.
It was so unexpected that Nami and the other Mugiwaras,as well as some of the customers who were watching the scene, were surprised.
"We are really sorry!" The blond apologized again still keeping his head and his friend's bowed low.
His brown-haired companion finally realized what he had gotten himself into. "Yes we are sooo sorry! So very sorry!" He suddenly cried in a pleading tone. "We didn't know it was you! A master swordsman in the flesh!"
Nami swore she could hear snivels coming from him and are those teardrops wetting the floor?
"Yes! We should've realized it sooner!"
"Please don't cut us!"
A sneer appeared on Zoro's face. "I don't know about that; you did piss me off."
Now the two were visibly quivering.
Nami fought the urge to laugh out loud. Whatever happened to their tales of fearlessness? "But," she spoke out of the blue. "I thought you two can best anyone in a fight?" The cat thief had an impish grin on her face that widened when she saw the two shook harder than before.
"No! No!" The blond lifted his head slightly to look at Nami tearfully. Gone now was the confident, debonair air they exuded earlier. "We're exaggerating of course!" He admitted and his eyes shifted back to Zoro and he hastily bowed his head again. "We would never think of fighting someone like Roronoa Zoro-san. Not in this life. Not in the next."
"That's true! We are really sorry Roronoa-san," the other apologized again. "We didn't know she was yours. If we did, and we do now, we would never have approached her. And we never will! You have our word!"
"Just please let us go!"
"Do not let them off just like that shitty swordsman!" Sanji shouted as he stood up from the Straw Hats' table. "Cut the hand of that bastard who dared touch Nami-san! Or I will personally gut them like a fish and served them to the Kumate tribe." He threatened as Usopp grasped him on both shoulders to prevent him from going berserk.
"Oi pipe down swirly!" Zoro growled towards the cook's direction. Honestly, this is getting troublesome than it's supposed to be. "You two," he called out suddenly and the men stiffened.
"Hai…?" Both answered with quavering voices.
"Just get out of my sight."
"HAI!" The two dropped down their knees quickly. There was a 'thud' as their foreheads hit the floor as they bowed much lower, grateful that Zoro was letting them go without any injury.
"We'll be on our merry way now. Sorry for the trouble!"
"It was nice to meet you Roronoa Zoro-san! Truly! We're sorry and thank you!"
They both edged away from the two Straw Hats and headed towards the entryway while still crouched down the floor. They left in a crawling manner in the midst of laughter and hoots from some of the pub's patrons.
The moment the two chaps disappeared outside, Nami huffed. She swiveled to face the green-haired man and pouted. "Really Zoro? What did we agree about this?" She chastised, not amused by his antic. "I haven't even gotten their money yet!"
Zoro in turn, glared at her and threw something on the bar counter. It was the men's money pouches.
Nami's eyes widened.
"You must be losing your touch." Zoro muttered, scowling at the navigator.
"Or she probably enjoyed flirting with them," Robin casually commented as she passed by behind them.
"Robin!"
"Can't blame you, they are quite cute." The raven-haired woman let out a soft giggle as she leaned against the counter. She lifted a hand to get the bartender's attention. The corners of her eyes crinkled in mirth when she saw the expression on Zoro's face.
The swordsman looked absolutely livid.
Oh my, has Zoro always been this easy to rile up when it comes to Nami?
This is fun.
"Woman," Zoro all but hissed in Nami's ear, grabbing her arm. "Upstairs now!"
"Hey!" Nami protested. "I'm still…"
"Now!" A shadow seemed to cross Zoro's face and his tone had lowered to the point that he was growling.
"…"
He moved away from her and headed towards the second floor where the Straw Hats rented rooms for the night. When Zoro starts using that tone on her, she's in for trouble and she better do what he says.
Nami locked eyes with Robin, frowning as the older woman gave her a sly smile. She slid off her seat and followed him upstairs, but not before grabbing the pouches he surprisingly nicked from the two men earlier.
This is going to be a long and tiring argument… not to mention night. It can only end in two things: them not talking to each other tomorrow…
Or…
"NAMI!" Zoro's voice almost thundered across the whole bar.
"Coming!"
Robin gave them a small wave before turning to the bartender to order her drink.
It was well into the afternoon when Nami slid on the bench opposite Robin, who was sitting alone in the half-filled bar enjoying her pre-dinner coffee and book.
The navigator slumped down the wooden table with a groan.
"And good afternoon to you too," Robin greeted. "How was last night?"
Nami's face immediately scrunched up into a frown. "Awful! My throat's sore from screaming because apparently, Zoro's deaf and could not understand what I'm saying!" She nestled her head on the hard surface of the table. "My voice was not loud enough to penetrate that thick, stupid skull of his."
"Surely it's not that bad?" The older woman asked, sprouting a pair of hands on each side of Nami so she can massage her shoulders.
"Uggh. No thanks to your comment!" Nami responded with a glare at her friend.
That made Robin giggle. "You just say that." She took a sip of her drink and smiled amusedly at the navigator. "But you've been holed up with Zoro in that room for almost the whole day. Do you honestly want me to believe that all that screaming is because the two of you were arguing? The inn has thin walls after all."
Nami's face heat up at that. Well there's no use hiding anything to Robin. With a moan she pillowed her head on her arms. "I hurt all over. This is all your fault!"
The archeologist glanced at her. Nami might be complaining, but there was look of satisfaction on her face that tells her otherwise. "Well at least now you know he isn't immune to your flirting… with other men that is."
The cat thief laughed sardonically at that. "Zoro's just in the mood to be an ass. He usually doesn't care about this stuff." Nami lifted her head off the table. "That's why I can steal from gullible, good-looking men whenever we dock!"
"Maybe that's where the problem is? You always choose good-looking men for your victims." Robin pointed out, turning a page of her book.
Nami sat up straighter at that and Robin's hands disappeared in a flurry of petals. "You're not listening last night are you? Cause I swear that's exactly what Zoro said."
Robin chuckled and shook her head. "No. I wasn't."
"But good-looking men are the best victims Robin," Nami retorted. "And you know that. Most of them are self-absorbed and easily manipulated. And they're much easier to approach. Average-looking guys tend to be suspicious when a cute girl walks up to them."
"Are you sure that's it?" Robin stared straight in her eyes. "And not because you're trying to make him… jealous?"
"Who's making who jealous?"
Usopp's voice cut into their conversation. The sniper plopped himself down beside Nami with an exhausted sigh, looking a bit worse for wear.
Nami stared at him in astonishment. "Why do you look like you just came out of a death match?"
"Long story," Usopp replied wearily. "All I can say is, Luffy plus adventure… you do the math."
"I see."
"So who's jealous?" He asked curiously. His eyes scrutinized Nami for a few seconds. "Did you just wake up?"
"You can say that." Nami answered with a nod.
"Rough night?"
Franky, who just sat on the vacant seat beside Robin guffawed. "More like rough sex you mean." He commented earning a loud laugh from the sniper.
"Franky!" Nami shrieked, horrified at his straightforwardness.
"Hey," the cyborg retorted. "Not our fault! Is there anyone here who hasn't heard all of that last night?"
Usopp clutched his stomach as he laughed harder. "I dunno… is there anyone here who slept a wink last night from all that?" He jested and Franky joined him in his laughter while Robin politely tried to hide her giggle behind her hand.
Nami reached out and pulled at Usopp's ear. "You and you!" She hissed at Franky. "Perverts!"
"Aw! Thanks Nami-sis!" Franky's grin was wide as he gave her a thumbs up.
"Hey ouch!" Usopp cried beside her, hand wrapping around her wrist to stop her from twisting his ear off. "Stop it!" He hollered. "Why am I the only getting assailed?"
Franky laughed at his expense.
"Shut it," Nami snarled at him. "You'll be getting your own due later."
The shipwright grinned roguishly at her. "If Nami-sis. IF."
"If what?!"
"If Zoro doesn't lock you up in that room again like he did last night."
"FRANKY!" Nami's scream can be heard within a one-mile radius from where they are.
Usopp's shoulders shook so hard from laughing too much.
"This is a whole new set of debts in my books you idiots!"
"Oi!"
"Franky," Robin said. "That's enough picking on Nami. She had been through… a really fierce battle."
The mapmaker's jaw dropped at that comment. "Not you too Robin!"
Franky shook his head while laughing. "You gotta admit, last night was gold. It'll be a waste not make fun of it."
"Tell that to Zoro," Nami challenged him. "I dare you two to tell and do that to Zoro."
"Are you kidding?" Franky stared at her in disbelief.
Usopp vehemently shook his head. "I refuse to die early! Thank you very much!"
"You are scared of Zoro more than of me huh, Usopp?" Nami grabbed the front of Usopp's shirt, pulling his face near hers.
"Nami," Usopp placed both of his hands on her shoulders. "Debts I can pay. But life? I only have one."
"Girlie, you do realize what you are saying?" Franky raised an eyebrow at her. "You don't make that man the butt of jokes."
"Except when it comes to his sense of direction," Robin added her belis' worth.
"Right," Franky agreed. "Other than that, there are no other areas I want to tread. You do know how terrifying he is?"
"Especially when provoked."
"Nico Robin's supeeer right again," Franky concurred. "I'm honestly surprised he did not unsheathed his swords yesterday and unleashed one of his attacks here."
Usopp nodded and folded his arms across his chest. "I was half-afraid he would!"
"Only half?"
Nami rolled her eyes. "It's not like he's gonna slice and dice people all because I'm—"
"Flirting to steal?" Robin continued for her with a chuckle.
Nami pouted at her.
"Well he won't ignore it all the time Nami. Just take yesterday for example." Robin gave her a polite smile. "I just want to remind you of his tendencies to wreak havoc and cause destruction. Just don't push him too much."
"Wait," Usopp moved back a little to stare at Nami. "Is this what you and Robin were talking about earlier? You ARE trying to make him jealous?"
"What? No!" Nami answered a bit defensively.
"That's suuuper scary Nami-sis." Franky frowned at that thought.
"I think she succeeded with no casualties." Robin pointed out.
Usopp gawped at Nami with eyes wide. "Zoro is a monster once angered. And you want him jealous?" He asked incredulously. "What is wrong with you?" He glanced at Robin and Franky. "Did we tell her about Wano? We should tell her about Wano!"
"You already told me about Wano!"
"And you still want him jealous? Pissed off? Enraged? Wrathful?" Usopp said in one breath. "Kami, I think I'm having a heart attack. Call Chopper!"
Nami lifted a fist and thumped the sniper at his head… hard.
"Look, we've already talked about this. I'm not gonna stop with what I'm doing just because we are together." She explained, flicking her long hair behind her shoulder. "Now, if he has a problem with my stints then that's his to deal with."
The other three pirates exchanged glances. "Well," Franky began. "You are lucky that Zoro's not inclined to also flirt with other women to steal their purses."
Robin laughed quietly at that.
"If that was the case, I'll bet it's you who will be having a hard time trying to rein in your jealousy."
"Uh sorry," Nami said smugly. "I'm not the jealous type."
Both of Usopp's eyebrows shot up at that. He doubts if that's really the case knowing how greedy Nami can be.
"Oi! Minna!"
They all turned their heads towards the direction of their captain's voice. Luffy had just entered the pub with the other Straw Hats.
"Hi guys!" Luffy cheerfully greeted them as he bounded towards their table. He was grinning widely, even though his face and clothes were streaked with dirt. "You won't believe what we have found!" He gushed excitedly. "Oh, hi Nami! I haven't seen you… all day?"
Nami raised an eyebrow. "Kind of… yeah?"
"Where were you? Shishishi! And where's Zoro? I also want to tell him what we found!"
"Upstairs? Asleep? Or lost. I'm not sure."
Luffy tilted his head a little, studying Nami. "Are you two fighting? You sound so mad at him; you kept screaming his name last night."
Nami turned to a fiery shade of red as the others who are in the know burst out laughing.
Zoro will get it later. She will fucking break all of his bones.
Chopper jumped on the bench next to Usopp and peered at the navigator. "Did Zoro do something to make you angry, Nami?" He innocently asked without any intention of prying in his friends' lives. He didn't hear them fighting last night, but he did wonder why Nami didn't sleep in the room she was supposed to share with him and Robin.
"Because Zoro is an idiot." Nami answered with a huff. "And you know how I always get mad and scream at idiots?"
"Uh-huh. I see."
"Nami-swaaaan!"
There was a sound of running footsteps as they all flinched at the voice. Honestly, Sanji can really hit a high pitch whenever he's calling out female names.
"Sanji-kun," Nami smiled at their crew's cook. She inhaled deeply and braced herself to the onslaught of questions that she knew would be coming.
Sanji skidded into a halt beside her. He immediately got down on one knee and grasped her hands. "Are you alright my love? I can hear you yelling last night! Did that stupid swordsman hurt you?"
"I'm ok Sanji-kun. Why is everyone suddenly asking about my well-being?"
Brook's cool voice drifted from the other side of the table as he took a seat. "Might've something to do with what we heard last night… even if I have no ears to hear. Yohohoho!" Franky joined him in his laughter.
"Shut up you shitty skeleton!" Sanji roared at the musician. He turned to Nami again. "Are you ok Nami-san? Your face is so red! Hey Chopper! I think my angel is sick!" He yelled for the reindeer. "I knew it! That stupid marimo did something to you! I'm going to slaughter him like a pig."
"He did not Sanji-kun, calm down!" She tried to pacify Sanji's ranting while the others continued laughing; except for Chopper and Luffy who had no clue about what's going on.
"But… but those were definitely cries of agony!" Sanji blubbered. In the background Usopp mouth the word 'agony' in a questioning manner as Franky and Brook laughed harder. "I was barely able to stop myself from kicking the door down and coming to your rescue and beating that second-rate swordsman's ass!"
There was a choking sound coming from Usopp who was trying to bite back his laughter. He placed one hand on the chef's shoulder and asked with faux innocence. "Uh… and see them going at it Sanji?"
"Eh?" Was all the blond could utter out, freezing as Usopp's question began to sink in on him.
Franky and Brook were now laughing their asses off while Robin was giggling behind her hand. Luffy and Chopper where looking at each other still not fully comprehending what was happening.
Nami pulled her hands away from Sanji's petrified grasp and grabbed Usopp's neck, choking him. "You dolt! You just had to say that!"
"Arck! Can't… breathe… Nami!"
"Aaah!" Chopper screamed when saw Usopp was turning blue. "Nami stop! Doctor! We need a doctor!"
Sanji suddenly stood up. His face had turned scarlet and seemed to darken to purple as seconds ticked by. Steam came out of his ears and he shouted. "Marimoooooooooooo!"
"What shittycook?"
The commotion in their table immediately stopped at the sound of Zoro's voice.
Sanji spun towards him and approached him with a growl. "YOU! Grrrrrrrrr…"
Zoro stared boredly at the blond cook. "Problem?"
"You! You! $# #! #!"
"Tch. Use some damn words." He walked past Sanji but not before deliberately bumping his shoulder.
"Oh hey Zorooo!" Luffy shouted, waving his hands. "Zoro!"
"Captain," the swordsman greeted with a nod as Luffy ran towards him.
"You sure take the longest nap!" Luffy said with a pout. "We found something in the forest! I want to show it to you!"
Zoro nodded. "Just let me eat first Luffy."
"Oh! Great idea!" Luffy's face brightened at that and he turned towards Sanji. "Oi Sanji! I want meat!"
"Urusei shitty gomu!" The cook was practically rabid that Luffy took a step back, away from him. He was snarling and cursing.
"What's with all the noise?" Zoro asked no one in particular, looking irritable. His gray eye flicked a glance at the table before reaching down and lifting the still squawking Chopper who was trying to make Nami release Usopp. "Stop that Chopper."
"Zoro!" The reindeer cried out when he realized who was holding him. "Nami's killing Usopp! Stop her!"
"Nami," Zoro reached out and wrapped a hand around the navigator's wrist. "Usopp's probably dead now."
"Zoro!" Chopper shouted horrified.
"You!" Nami pushed Usopp away and looked up at the idiot swordsman. "Why are you awake already?"
Zoro raised an eyebrow at her. "Bed's a bit cold. Thought I should haul you up back there."
Franky hooted and Brook slammed his hands on the table from laughing too hard. Even a choking sound akin to laughter was coming from Usopp.
Luffy made a face. "I don't get it. What is happening? Why is everybody laughing?"
"It's ok Luffy," Robin said. "Don't mind them."
"I don't get it too Luffy," Chopper admitted, thoughtfully staring at his friends.
"Nevermind it Chopper," Zoro said placing the reindeer down on an empty seat. He patted his head and moved to the vacant place beside Nami.
A growl came from behind him. Sanji has still yet to cool down. "Oi aho kenshin. What did you do to Nami-san? Huh?"
"Oi aho cook. None of your business."
"Why you!"
"Are you seriously asking me what goes on behind closed doors?" Zoro inquired with a raised eyebrow.
Sanji's lower lip trembled at that. The stupid moss-head had a really malicious grin on his face daring him to probe much more and he will get an answer.
Of course he doesn't want to know! He knows but he doesn't want to hear it! Argh!
Sanji let out a wild howl followed by the sound of explosion as he suddenly burst into angry flames.
"Aaah!" Chopper screamed again, jumping on top of the table. "Water we need water! Sanji's burning!"
"Wait, wait!" Luffy yelled. "I think I saw a barrel near the entrance earlier." Without another word, he bounded towards the entryway with Chopper in tow.
"Zoro!" Nami hissed, harshly pulling at his shirt. "Sit your ass down here."
"Oi quit pulling woman," Zoro complained, plopping down on the seat beside her. The others greeted him casually as if they weren't making fun of last night's occurrence.
"I'm not going to be the only one to suffer their teasing! This is all your FAULT!"
Nami's eyes narrowed when a smirk appeared on Zoro's face. He looked like he was about to say something…
"Do not say anything that would make me clobber you." Nami threatened. She lowered her voice a little, grateful for the noise as the pub started to fill up with customers. "For someone who initially wants to keep our relationship quiet you sure don't care if everyone here knows what's going on!"
Zoro frowned. "I really don't care if they know. As long as they don't stick their noses in our business. Like ero-cook there." He pointed with his thumb at the blond man behind them.
Sanji was still burning bright much to the amazement of everyone inside the tavern.
"If he keeps that up, we'll be sweeping his ashes back to the Sunny." Robin commented matter-of-factly while watching the cook.
"Robin!" Usopp gasped. "You and your morbid thoughts!"
The raven-haired beauty just shrugged.
"Good," Zoro muttered. "Maybe we can throw his ashes overboard or something." He turned towards Sanji. "Keep burning swirly. You're doing a good job."
He was answered with a string of expletives that would shame even the worst of the worst pirate in the New World.
Nami glowered at him.
"What?" Zoro scowled at her. "Is this still not settled? I already told you last night," he dipped his head lower to whisper in her ear. "If that's what it takes for everyone to understand that you are mine, then hell I don't care if they all knew that I'm fuc—"
The navigator covered his mouth with her hand before he can finish what he was saying, making sure she was grasping his cheeks as firmly as she could with every strength she can muster. She can feel the corners of his lips twitched up beneath her palm. She stared at his lone grey eye, unexpectedly filled with amusement and she pouted.
"What a jealous brute." She mocked him, retracting her hand away.
"Damn right." Zoro sneered at her. "You want to pull one of your stealing stints here again?"
"Hmph."
"Oi what's with the whispering over there?" Usopp raised an eyebrow at them. A mischievous grin appeared on his face. "Go get a room you two!"
Nami glared daggers at him as loud laughs erupted from the table again. In the background Luffy and Chopper had successfully doused the cook with water, earning his ire as he started chasing them around the table.
Zoro merely snorted. "Tch. What should a man do to get some peace and quiet while drinking here?" He stood up and headed towards the bar, leaving the Mugiwara chaos behind.
"Aren't you going to join Zoro-san, Nami-san?" Brook inquired.
Nami dismissed his question with a wave of her hand. "Zoro's a big boy. He'll be fine alone."
"Uh-huh," Franky nodded. "Had too much of each other?"
Usopp laughed and promptly shut his mouth when Nami looked at him menacingly.
"I wonder what you'll do if some woman approaches Zoro while he is at the bar?" Robin suddenly murmured out loud with a thoughtful look on her face.
Nami raised an eyebrow at her. "Nothing? Zoro can handle it just fine."
Usopp nodded. "Quite confident aren't we?"
The navigator laughed. "Besides, who would dare approach him? Zoro can be scary. You said so yourself Usopp."
"Well, Zoro has a scary face… when he is not in the mood." The sniper agreed. "But only when he's not in the mood."
"But being the keyword," Robin said with a smile. "Zoro is ruggedly handsome, I'm pretty sure a girl or two would have the guts to approach him."
Usopp tilted his head a little and stared at Robin. She's not doing what he thinks she's doing, is she? He let his gaze travel back towards the orange-haired girl beside him. Nami was now frowning.
He gotta hand it to Robin. Talk about downright manipulation! This is a bit reminiscent of last night!
The scent of smoke wafted through the air as Sanji, now surprisingly dry and calm, approached the table with Luffy and Chopper, who were both sporting huge bumps on their heads. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Now sit yourselves down and do not move until the food is here on the table!"
"Hai…" The captain and the doctor intoned and obediently sat themselves on the available spots near Nami on the bench.
Sanji remained standing. "Where's that baka marimo?"
"Bar. Drinking." Franky answered.
"Nami-swan! Robin-chwan!" He suddenly chanted with a twirl. "Do you want something before we start dinner? Hors d'oeuvres? Aperitif? Anything?"
"I'll have a refill of my coffee Sanji," Robin requested.
"Orange juice please Sanji-kun," Nami smiled sweetly at him.
"Coming mellorine!" The chef disappeared in a blink of an eye to cater to his two favorite ladies' requests.
Usopp sighed. "So much for asking us if we also want something before dinner huh?"
Brook laughed softly. "Dream on Usopp-san. Dream on."
The sniper laughed. He turned towards the bar to check on Zoro and stopped. He felt Franky nudged his feet under the table and they looked at each other. Stealthily, they stole a glance at Nami, who was now busy talking to Robin, then back at the swordsman.
They looked at each other again. This should be interesting.
Usopp sneakily motioned for him to be quiet. And the shipwright nodded. They both shifted their heads toward the bar and watched.
A rather pretty and busty woman with long, bluish-black hair had approached the swordsman and was engaged in a conversation with him. From their vantage point, they can see that the woman seems to be asking something and Zoro was nodding. Then the woman laughed, though a bit flirtily in Usopp's opinion.
"Oh," Brook suddenly said. "Looks like a beautiful woman is hitting on Zoro-san! Yohohoho!"
"What?!" Nami exclaimed. Usopp fought the urge to use kuro kabuto at the skeleton. Why can't he keep that bony mouth of his shut?
"Aaah," Brook hummed, calmly sipping his tea. "She's just probably asking him something."
Nami managed to throw a shoe at the stupid, old skeleton.
With a 'hmph' she settled back on her seat, folding her arms across her chest. She turned her attention back to the bar.
Heck, they all turned their attention towards the bar.
The woman had sidled closer to Zoro, her thighs nearly touching the green-haired man's knee. She was saying something and it looks like Zoro was listening to her intently. The woman leaned towards the swordsman and placed a hand on his thigh, obviously showing him her generous... assets.
Beside Usopp, Nami bristled. The sniper's eyes met the shipwright's.
"Hmmm…" Robin murmured. "Safe to say she's seducing him." She looked at Nami and winked. "Oreja Fleur!"
"Robin!" Nami exclaimed.
"You don't want to know what they are talking about?"
Nami inhaled sharply, gathering whatever pride was in her. "No."
"Alright."
Sanji appeared behind the navigator armed with the requested beverages. "Tch! Why is that marimo-head always attracting a beautiful woman?!" He grumbled disdainfully, placing the orange juice in front of Nami.
"I have no idea Sanji-kun." Nami said through gritted teeth. "He's not exactly the good-looking, approachable type."
Usopp cleared his throat. "Talk about bad mouthing your boyfriend."
"I beg to differ," Brook interjected. "Zoro-san's the kind that actually attracts women. Raw power and rock-solid muscles and…" he sighed.
"Alright! Enough!" Usopp stopped him, shivering. "That's just creepy Brook!"
"Oh hey!" Luffy called out suddenly. "I think Zoro made a new friend! Let's go meet her Chopper!"
"Yes!" Chopper agreed.
"Hold it aho captain," Sanji hooked a finger behind Luffy's shirt. "You too Chopper."
"Why isn't that moron pushing her away?" Nami growled. "See! This is how dense he is. He doesn't know if a girl is outright flirting with him or seducing him!"
"Are you talking from experience?" Usopp queried.
"Shut it Usopp!"
"Oops another one who can't keep her hands to herself!" Franky whistled as the woman reached out to play with the swordsman's earrings.
"That idiot!" Nami snarled.
"Thought you weren't the jealous type girlie?" Franky raised an eyebrow at her.
"I'm not!" Nami answered hotly. "But no one touches the earrings! No one!"
Robin was trying to stifle her laugh.
"Nami, maybe she's just asking him where he got it or something." Usopp suggested, moving a lit-tle out of harm's way.
Nami glowered at him. "Oh really Usopp? She can ask. Does she need to touch?"
This time even Luffy and Chopper was shuffling farther away from the orange-haired girl and closer to the cook.
"But Nami-san..."
"Shut up Sanji-kun!"
"Hey, who knows, maybe Zoro will be pickpocketing her also? That's why he's letting her slink closer. " Franky queried in a jesting manner.
"Maybe he'll do more than pick her pocket?" Brook said cheekily… even if he had no cheeks and was all bones.
Nami's glare on them was icy enough to freeze the whole room. Her brown orbs shifted towards the bar again just in time to see the woman brazenly touch the pommel of Zoro's red sword. She tapped a finger on it before completely wrapping her hand around the sword's hilt.
"Oh?" Franky's eyes widened.
"Oh?!" Usopp coughed at the display.
"Yohohoho! That was pretty suggestive…" Brook commented.
Nami slammed her hands down on the table. Her eyes were hidden underneath her orange bangs and she was emitting a rather strange and chilling aura.
Everyone saved for Robin backed away from the obviously enraged navigator.
"No one," she whispered in a really cool and steady tone. Like the calm before the storm. "No one gets to touch the swords but me! No one!" She moved away from the table and marched towards where the idiot swordsman and that equally idiot woman are currently talking.
"Nami-san!" Sanji called out to stop her. But one look from Nami immediately made him shut his mouth.
"Oh shit," Usopp was looking around his crewmates' faces. It was just like last night. Only this time the tables have turned.
"And she said she's not the jealous type huh?" Franky shook his head at the absurdity of it.
Nami confidently approached the bar with a flip of her orange locks, ignoring the looks and lewd eyes from the other pub patrons that followed her. It stopped once they saw that she was heading towards the green-haired man with three swords, who had a pretty woman cozying up to him… the lecherous gazes turning into curious stares.
The moment she was near enough, she suddenly closed her hand around the woman's wrist with enough force to make her cry out. "Excuse me, do you mind?" Nami gave her one of her sassiest smiles, forcefully removing her grip from Zoro's sword.
"Hey ouch!" The black-haired woman glared at her darkly. "Do YOU mind? I'm trying to—"
"I'll ask nicely," Nami cut her off, wedging herself between Zoro and the woman, forcing her to take a step back. "Can please keep your hands to yourself?" She leaned against the bar counter, the smile never leaving her face. Nami silently gloated that the woman was a few inches shorter than her and that she can look at the bitch down her nose.
"Oi Nami," Zoro began.
"Shut up," she said through gritted teeth, still all smiles.
And Zoro promptly kept his trap shut at her tone. The whole bar seemed to fall into a hush as conversations dwindled and shouts turned to whispers.
The woman suddenly smirked, not the one to be deterred. She took a step forward and was face to face with Nami. "Why the hell would I do that when I have a finely toned man in front of me?"
The navigator sneered at that as one hand proceeded to pull out her Clima-tact. Zoro immediately noticed it and made a grab for her hand as stealthily as he could. They are not sure if this woman is alone or not. If Nami decides to fry her with thunderbolts, they might possibly engage in an unwanted scuffle.
"Because this finely toned man is mine!" Nami said with enough venom in her tone to kill a sea king. Her finger nails dug into Zoro's skin painfully, and he fought the urge to wince. Nami is in a piss off mood and he can feel her clawing at his hand with enough force to draw blood. "Touch him again and I will rip you apart."
The woman folded her arms across her chest. "I see no ring around his finger darling." She smiled in an obnoxious manner. "And even if he did, that wouldn't stop me from jumping him." She reached out to touch Zoro but Nami's hand closed around her wrist again, fast.
"I already said no touching."
"And I'm not listening."
There was a pause and the whole bar seemed to hold its breath, waiting…
Then everyone gasped in surprise when Nami's other hand suddenly shot up and punched the living daylights out of the infuriating woman.
No one said a word for a minute as eyes widened and jaws dropped simultaneously. Everyone was looking at the woman who had toppled over one of the bar stools from the force of Nami's fist.
"You bitch!" The woman managed to hiss as she woozily tried to stand, clutching her cheek.
Nami took a step closer to her and Zoro snapped to attention.
His arm snaked around the navigator's slim waist stopping her from moving closer to the other female.
"Let me at her Zoro!" Nami's voice cracked like a whip across the silent bar.
"Stop it Nami!"
The woman grab the edge of the bar counter to steady herself. The orange-haired girl can pack a punch despite her slim physique. She glared daggers at Nami.
Suddenly the whole bar erupted into cheers.
"Place your bets!" Usopp suddenly shouted on top of the hoots and roars. A choruses of 'yeah' filled the air.
"10,000 beli for that still woozy chick!"
"15,000 for that orange-haired gal!"
"Another 10,000 for—"
Robin giggled into her hand as all around her people chanted and shouted their bets. "Oh my!"
"Looks like Nami's in for the kill," Franky laughed as he watched the swordsman stepped between the two women to prevent them from attacking each other.
"U-weh!" Chopper had stars in his eyes. Nami was so cool!
"Nami-swaaaan!" Sanji was screaming himself hoarse. "Nami-swaan that was a lovely punch! I'm placing all my money on you my love!"
"Go Nami!" Luffy joined the cheers, pumping both fists into the air and accidentally knocking back a pirate who was passing by, drinking his rum.
"Hey! Why you…"
"Oops!"
"You little piece of shit!"
"Ah!"
"No captain don't!" Somebody shouted from behind. Tables and chairs crashed as said captain tried to lunge at Luffy who promptly jumped at another table filled with drinking pirates.
"Oi!"
"Sumimasen!" The straw hat wearing captain apologized.
"Captain stop! That is straw hat Lu—"
"Let me at him!"
There was a crash as the captain's subordinates doggy piled him to stop him from attacking Luffy.
Robin giggled again as she stood up, taking her coffee and book as she strolled away from their table. "This is so much better than last night."
"I so agree Robin-san," Brook nodded as he followed the archaeologist's example, grabbing his teacup and sauntering away just as a brawny customer landed on their table, splitting it in half.
And just like that the whole pub erupted into chaos as pirate crews and random pub patrons brawled with each other; throwing tables, chairs, bottles and plates and anything they can get their hands on.
Zoro clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He managed to drag Nami away from the skirmish and the woman. They were now outside the inn watching the madness inside unfolding as Luffy's laughter echoed all throughout the pub.
He turned to the still incensed navigator.
"Heh, got a taste of your own medicine?"
Nami's only response was a dirty look directed at him.
And he laughed. "Can't say I'm not amused." He reached out and ruffled her hair as she slapped his hand away. "No wonder you do it all the time."
"Do it again and there'll be hell to pay Zoro!"
"Hahaha!" He reached for her hand, the one she used to punch the annoying woman's face. "Nice hit by the way." He brought her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles. Once the adrenaline passes Nami will be complaining endlessly about the pain in her hand.
He stared at her with a smirk. She was still scowling and fuming. It will take a lot to get her to stop sulking after this.
But it was probably worth it. Maybe this will taper down her flirting antics, if not put a stop to it.
He tugged at her hand, drawing her closer to him. He kissed her forehead, earning a small sigh from her. "Come on. Let's just go back to the Sunny."
"Wait. I'm still pissed off with all of these. That punch was not enough."
"What are you planning?" He asked when she brought out her Clima-tact.
She gave him a mischievous smile.
"Zeus!"
- The End –
This is by far the longest one-shot I've ever written.
Not familiar with the Kumate Tribe? You can search it in One Piece Wiki. It's a legit tribe.
"Use some damn words." - Was rereading One Piece Party scanlations for the umpteenth time. There is a Zoro-Sanji panel where they had this conversation. I'm borrowing it.
R and R please.
