Chapter 11
"I… of course I'm happy for you," Gaara said after what felt like minutes. "I was only part of your past for…3-4 years or so give or take. There are many memories for you to gain other than just the time we spent together… so yes I'm happy for you." he turned away from her hiding his face as he ran his hands through his hair again.
Hinata didn't have the heart to tell him all the memories she'd regained so far had only been of him. Why torture him even more? She'd brought enough pain to him over the last few years…
"So you're acting odd around me because you remember us together…" he asked to confirm, still in disbelief.
"Yes…" she paused, not wanting to expand anymore.
As the minutes trickled the silence languished in the room and it felt oppressive to her. As if they were caught up in some sort of storm, the room felt charged with emotions. There was a trickle of Gaara's sand swirling through the floors indicative of some sort of inner battle.
After a few more minutes Hinata walked up to Gaara hesitantly worried about him. She touched his shoulder to turn him around but he stiffened at her touch. That was when she realized he was trembling.
"Gaara, what's wrong?" She cried out in alarm, ducking around him to look at his face.
He looked down at her automatically, his face open and vulnerable. His eyes brimming with emotions almost as if he'd kept something at bay for all these years and it was only now coming out. His aqua eyes danced with lightening and Hinata let go of his shoulder a bit nervous. This explained the sudden static in the air. She now remembered that he had control of the elemental natures of lightning, wind and earth.
"What is it?" she gently cupped his face, knowing she was crossing a line. But did it even matter at this point?
Gaara didn't pull away… instead he rested his cheek on her hand closing his eyes before replying in a shaky voice, "I didn't think you would ever remember again."
"I'm sorry Gaara," she stood on her tippy toes letting go of all reservations and kissing him on the cheek. But she had to move back with a gasp because of the immediate flame-like chemistry that ignited between them. Even that simple action of a quick kiss singed her lips making them feel charged.
Gaara opened his eyes still laced with lightning and she moved to wrap her arms around him bringing him back down to her. They stood in an embrace her arms around his neck and his around her waist as sand and the lightning moved around them. But she didn't care… she felt safe with him.
She wasn't sure why she did it, but within seconds she moved again capturing the questions he was forming with her open mouth on his. The earth shifted beneath her feet as their lips fused together and he pulled her into him with a stronger grip. He felt so, so good pressed against her. It had been too long.
She moaned and Gaara had to bite back a groan as her tongue swept across his. Her hands were roaming all over him without even her realization. She couldn't get enough of his broad shoulders and taut waist, his muscled back and his strong neck.
They didn't say anything as lightning crackled around them. All that could be heard was gasps and moans and the sound of static as Gaara wrapped his arm around her pulling her up into him carrying her across the room once again onto the couch.
Her face was flushed and she was fully concentrating desperately pulling his shirt from where it was tucked into his pants wanting to feel his skin.
"Please" she sighed as he kissed her neck, lightly biting with small licks as she trembled. Licks of flames were going up her inner thigh making her desperate. It's been so long.
"Gaara," she moaned breathily, "so good, yes please" . She couldn't get close enough to him.
"My dress" she whispered overheated as he dropped kisses on her chin, her cheeks, her eyelids and her collarbones.
They were so engrossed in each other that when Kakashi walked into the dimly lit room neither registered it until not only the door was open, but until they heard him speak.
"What- oh jeez" Kakashi exclaimed and then laughed. "Pardon me, didn't mean to interrupt. I was curious as to what was causing all that lightning but carry on." And then the door was promptly shut.
Gaara jumped away from her what seemed like a foot, his labored breathing sewing in and out of his chest. Her hands were still suspended in mid air where she had been holding him.
"Fuck" he swore, standing up from where he was crouched and she stayed silent. "I…"
"Don't" she interrupted him, "don't apologize. Don't say you regret it."
"I shouldn't have done that, I ….REALLY shouldn't have done that" he turned around again looking out the window.
She continued to sit on the couch. She didn't regret it, in fact she regretted many things, but kissing him right now was not one of them. She loved Gaara, she knew that now with certainty.
"You didn't tell me we were engaged"
"Wh-" he turned around now with a guilty expression.
"Engaged to be married?" she further expanded getting up from the couch moving towards him.
It would have been comical to watch from an outside perspective how he shifted away from her as she advanced, as if they were similarly charged magnets.
"When should I have told you that? What would have been the point? We both agreed to move on, remember?"
"I have my memory back now Gaara and we were engaged to be married. Don't tell me that means nothing to you?"
"Of course it means something, but… but it's too late now."
"I'm sure Matsuri will understand if you tell her" Hinata tried to sound reasonable and not panicked. Because inside she was freaking out. She felt close to having a panic attack again, but this time over losing him.
"Gaara" she tried to grab his hand almost as if he would slip out of her life if she didn't pursue him with everything she had right now. Her voice was full of emotion.
"Hinata don't do this to me" Gaara begged moving away from her like she was the plague. "You lost your memory, the betrothal agreement between us was annulled by the Suna council, I'm dating Matsuri now. I promised her to give our relationship a fair change, I can't break my promise. If you are regaining your memory you should know that about me."
Her knees turned to liquid as she slid to the floor.
"No" she shook her head even as tears were running down her cheeks. "I won't give up, not when I have my memory."
"How can you be so selfish? You threw me out when you lost your memory without even giving me a chance no matter how much I begged you to reconsider, and now you regained your memory so you expect me to drop everything and be with you again? Hinata do you even hear how you sound?" Gaara's own voice sounded harsh now.
Hinata sobbed.
She understood it was unfair but she didn't care. He was supposed to be her husband. She couldn't have lost it all just like that could she? Over an accident? The pain was unbearable.
"Matsuri deserves better than this from me," Gaara snapped angry at himself, grabbing his shirt and putting it back on.
She didn't … or to be more accurate couldn't say anything as Gaara turned and left, closing the door behind him.
Hinata continued to sob sitting in the Hokage's office and when she eventually lost consciousness it was Kakashi who found her and took her to Sakura.
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2 Days Later, Konohagakure Hospital - Private Room
"Hinata… you are awake," Sakura said in a cheerful voice as Hinata blinked open her eyes.
"What…." Hinata was confused for a few minutes before the memories rushed past her.
"Where is he?" She sat up immediately.
"Hinata, here calm down," Sakura adjusted the drip of the IV opening the fluid lines more. "Take a few deep breaths and relax okay?"
"No, where is he?" she scrunched her face looking around.
"If you are asking about Gaara he is back in Sunagakure."
"I…I…" Hinata tried to rip the IV out of her arm. "I need to go see him, talk to him… before it's too late"
"Stop Hinata….stop. You CAN go to Suna okay, but you need to be in a relaxed state before you go, you need to be feeling better."
Hinata gasped all of a sudden, a new memory assaulting her. It was a flashback of the day of the accident.
Hinata had been in a 4 person squad. They were on a reconnaissance mission, to scout out a drug trafficking route and to gather information. No engagement was required. But they had been ambushed. Hinata had been traveling with her Byakugan on, but they had entered a zone with a special mist that had altered her vision. Not only had her kekkei genkai been cut off, but the enemy had been able to scout out and kill every single person on her squad. They had then chased her almost as if they had been toying with her. She had no doubt looking back that she had been the person who that attack had meant to take out. She'd fought with limited abilities until exhaustion set in and that is when she'd been stabbed multiple times and hit over the head.
She remembered falling down with her hand over her abdomen to protect the baby.
The baby…
Everything in Hinata quieted to a stop. The baby.
"The baby?" she whispered quietly in question and Sakura blanched.
"I …l-lost the baby?" she asked as Sakura inhaled in a shudder closing her eyes.
"Hinata. I am so… so sorry" Sakura finally said after what felt like a lifetime.
"I lost the baby," Hinata repeated, nodding, tears running down her face. "I lost our baby… Gaara didn't know."
Sakura reached out trying to comfort her but Hinata pushed her away in a very out of character way.
"I want to be alone," she said in a cold voice, tears still running down her face.
"I don't think that's such a good idea Hinata," Sakura whispered knowing Hinata wasn't really hearing her. Sakura grabbed a chair and sat beside her looking at her friend with renewed worry.
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A day later in Sunagakure - The Northern Wall Abandoned Bunker
Zensu watched the Larke squirm across from them. "As you requested, Oto has been disposed of, do you have the payment we were promised?"
"Dammit…" Larke snarled, "I thought I had more time…''
"Hmm, need more time do you? This is why I always say don't hire a hitman unless you can afford it" the being looked at its finger nails bored.
"Can you give me a bit more time? I was arranging a loan and expected the Kazekage to be gone for much longer, but he returned out of nowhere suddenly."
"Did he?... Well that isn't really our problem. You should have read the fine print on the payment clause."
"Can you give me a few days or not?" The Larke snapped, losing patience.
"I suppose I can give you a few more days, because… I find your situation amusing. But… Don't keep the Akatsuki waiting…You won't like the consequences," The Zensu said cryptically before disappearing.
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Back in Konohagakure Hospital
Sakura wasn't sure how much time passed as Hinata sat in that hospital bed.
She canceled her appointments for the morning, but in the afternoon she had to ask a nurse to come sit with Hinata as she had a few consultations that couldn't be pushed.
Hinata hadn't spoken all day. Instead she sat on the bed staring out the window. All her food was left untouched and Sakura's attempts to talk to her had been unsuccessful.
To say that Sakura was worried about her was an understatement.
The day passed by slowly for Hinata as she regained more and more of her memory.
She remembered the morning sickness, the days leading up to her mission and how she'd been eager to tell Gaara that she was pregnant but had been waiting for the right moment when it was special.
She had spent hours imagining what their baby would look like. Whether it would have red or black hair, purple or aqua eyes, whether they would have firm features like Gaara or round like hers. Whether it would be a boy or girl…
She scoffed.
Why had she waited? Gaara would have never let her go on that mission if he'd known….
She sighed, maybe that's why she had waited.
She remembered that she hadn't been eager to be put into an administrative role after being married to the Kazekage. As the Kage's wife she was too high of a risk to be involved in normal missions, so the Sunagakure council had been adamant that Hinata would need to be a housewife or be put into an administrative role upon being married. That seemed like such a silly thing for her to be stubborn over in hindsight...
Who would want to harm her like this though… Hinata thought back. She had been well liked in Suna. The people in the country and the staff at the Kage tower had loved her. The elders of Suna had their reservations about the marriage, but even they had blessed her union with the Kage when they saw how happy Gaara was…so who would have wanted to injure her?
Despite the death of her comrades she had no doubt the attack had been for her. Perhaps as a way to get revenge on the Kazekage for something? That seemed to be the most logical reason. Was the recent attack on Suna related to her own attack…She needed to say something! She needed to go to Suna now.
Train to Sunagakure
Because of her slightly limited chakra reserve and fledgling health Hinata had been allowed to travel to Sunagakure but only by train. There were lavender smudges under her eyes from her recent lack of sleep and exhaustion. Because of that she didn't even notice as the swaying train pulled her into a deep sleep followed by more dream memories.
FB
"Gaara… that was…" she was too tired to find words but she patted Gaara's face as a compliment.
He laughed, pulling her closer to him, bringing her in for an open mouth kiss. "I can never get enough of you" he sighed looking at her naked beside him.
She had moved beyond blushing when he looked at her. He made her feel so beautiful that nothing about her felt self conscious anymore when Gaara looked at her.
"Why do you love me Gaara?" Hinata sighed, laying her head down on his broad chest and listening to the sound of his heart.
"Why?... hmmm" he looked up at the ceiling, his eyes tired. He always got sleepy after having sex. "I guess because you are you." he said with a yawn.
"What do you mean?" she asked confused, coming up to her elbow.
"Well… because of the… things that make you you. It's hard to explain…" he replied closing his eyes.
"Well try…" she said, displeased with his answer.
"You… the way you smell, the way you sound when you speak, the way your skin feels when I touch you, the way you look at me, the way you smile, the sound you make when you laugh. The focused look you have on your face when you work on something, or the way you get all dirty and grimy when you work in the garden. It's cute" he opened his eyes, patting her with reassurance. "You feel like home to me", he caught her surprised expression when he said that.
"What?" he asked.
She laughed completely shocked. "You actually love me?"
"Yes"
"Just as I am?" she asked again. Gaara had recently told her he loved her for the first time after a few months of dating but she hadn't truly believed him until now.
"Yes" he nodded, nibbling on her ear.
"Gaara" she laughingly protested pushing him away so she could think. "Would you love me even when I am old and wrinkled?"
"I'll be old and wrinkled with you" he pulled her back for a kiss and she was distracted for a good few seconds.
"But you are the Kazekage, you will have options" she breathlessly pulled away from him flushed red.
"If the options are not you, I have no interest in them" he said and then groaned as she slipped him back inside her sitting on top of him shifting back and forth teasingly.
"Hmm, is that right?" she asked with a glint in her eyes, swaying back and forth over him without really moving.
"Hinata" he groaned, grabbing onto her hips but stopping before he forced her to move.
"Yes?" she asked slowly, tightening her thighs to raise herself higher and then lower infinitesimally slower.
"Please" he gritted his teeth closing her eyes before immediately opening them looking at her swaying chest.
She grabbed a breast, tweaking her own nipple moving it up to her mouth as his breath started coming faster. She knew he wanted to be doing what she was doing at the moment. "Should I move faster?" she asked before, raising herself up and down a few times at a faster pace forcing his eyes to shut in pleasure.
"Yes" he groaned helplessly, grasping the bed sheets.
She moved over him, lowering her swaying breasts onto him so he could take a nipple into his mouth. He closed his lips over her and she stifled a scream at the answering ripples of need that moved through her, She gasped, losing some of her composure. Gaara reached down to cup her behind and was moving in and out of her slowly as he grazed his teeth across her nipple. She whimpered coming dangerously close to cumming.
Hinata decided she'd had enough fun. She moved back and put her hands on his chest as she braced herself to move at a faster pace feeling the fire ripple down her thighs again.
Gaara swore looking at her through slitted eyes as she moved a hand down to rub her clit while bouncing on him once and twice before her over sensitive clit sent her into the orbit on a strangled gasp as she collapsed onto his chest sweaty from the exertion.
When she came to, he was murmuring into her ear moving gently until she stopped shivering before tightening his grip on her ass as he moved into her fast a few times before he too came in a rush with a groan and she shivered feeling the sweat cool down on her body.
End of Flash Back
Hinata woke up climbing through the fog of her dream memory. She settled down thankful that the train was almost empty. Every time one of these memories came to her it felt as painful as a stab wound.
Looking out the window the desert landscape calmed her down, it was a signal that Sunagakure was getting closer.
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