Tales of the Falls
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
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ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
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"...Again...go easy on Tyrone...Blame me." Said Wendy Corduroy. Princess Celestia was only barely listening at this point to the teen girl who sat in her interrogation room...her mind was spinning with all these revelations...
Humans were REAL...and they were alive...and were coming to KILL her.
Or to put it in context: there was an underground society of humans living in a apparently high-tech metropolis called New Eagleland built by ancient humans to allow the human race to survive after the 'end times'...which if their 'supreme leader' Ming Jol-ik was to believed...was caused by ponies...indeed EVERYTHING seemed to be blamed on ponies...
Is your family starving? Blame the ponies, they ate everything. Will your family be next?
Is your job terrible? blame the ponies, they want you to be miserable. Your loss is their gain.
Too much crime? Blame the ponies, their secretly in control of everything. Only by supporting your beloved government can you cull their influence!
Stubbed your toe? Blame the pony-loving traitors to our wondrous species, it's how they get their sick kicks. Report any suspicious activities; be it from neighbors, friends or families! They could be ponies in disguise!
Your synth planning to murder you? They are pawns of the ponies of course!
That last one confused Celestia, but resolved to ask what a SYNTH was later...in any case she was starting to get the gist of it...
"And what do you believe?" Asked Celestia. Wendy shrugged, "I believe my country is ruled by a rich fascist A-hole who uses fearmongering to get the idiots- the vast majority of my people, unfortunately -to suck up his sleaze and his wealthy friends corruption with a smile...of course writing that in my social studies report in 1st grade got my mother executed..."
There was a long, awkward pause...and then to Wendy's surprise, she got hugged by the princess!...she was very...fluffy...
"You poor dear...your safe now-
"And Tyrone?" Asked Wendy quickly.
Celestia smiles at the concern this girl had for her friend, "Yes, he made a mistake...but seems like you both did your best to correct it...but how did this all come about?"
So Wendy told her how after their mom was 'executed for sedition'- i.e. Taking the blame for her daughter -Her dad had trouble making ends meet, although mom took all the blame...they were still blacklisted from all official jobs...so Wendy had to take unofficial jobs...
"Enforcer, loan shark, bounty hunter...prostitution- she flusters at that last part -You don't really have the luxury to turn down high-paying jobs when your little siblings might starve."
Celestia nodded, she understood sibling love all too well...
"And Tyrone...when all my other friends ditched me- in fairness to them they were scared their families might be targeted if they continued to associate with me- ...he stood by me...he built me my first gun when he was 8...and it worked like a dream! ...we've been a... team ever since."
Celestia notices the hesitance before saying team...and the light blush on her face...but she decided to let it be, with cultures as different as theirs who was she to judge? Especially after everything this poor girl had been through!
In nay case Wendy explained how agent powers had approached her for a mission...to leave their city of New Eagleland...and go to the land of the ponies to assassinate the devil herself...Princess Celestia.
Despite the situation, Celestia couldn't help but be a bit amused by being labeled a 'devil'.
"So you were coming to kill me?" She asked in good humor.
Wendy sighed, "Okay, try to understand...I hate my government...I really do...but not only did I not have the luxury to turn down the money- which was a TON, enough to set my family for life...but also, considering how they were using Ponies to justify their cruelty and oppression...a supposedly 'alien' species that no one had ever seen save for the governments 'trusted' sources and civil servants...
"You didn't believe ponies were even real." Again, despite the situation Celestia couldn't help but chuckle over that.
Wendy shrugged, "The whole thing reeked of a whole big publicity stunt/hoax- wouldn't be the first time they pulled this sort of thing. " Celestia watched amazed as Wendy showed her 'pictures' from her 'cell phone' ... "How am I not detecting any magic?" She wonders as she watches this device in amazement.
Glorious Eagleland government sting operation successful in bringing down pony mob boss!
Our glorious leader gallantly executes 300 pony demons with bare hands!
Our glorious enforcers fight back the pony hordes at the Eagleland border!
The pictures and videos of 'ponies' getting killed were so fake that even the tech-illiterate ponies could see how choreographed and staged they were.
Celestia shakes her head, "And people bought this?" She asked in disbelief. Wendy shrugged, "like I said...idiots." She looked at Celestia with a resolute look, "And Tyrone felt the same way, but I was the one that recruited him. He'd do anything I'd asked...he's kinda wrapped around my fingers." Said Wendy with a reluctant smile.
"We'll I believe that last part anyway." Admitted Celestia with a knowing smirk, "You should know that Tyrone has already confessed that he believed ponies were real...but still went along with it despite his concerns...assuming all the guilt for HIMSELF to protect you."
Wendy groaned, "Dang it Tyrone!" She cursed.
Celestia couldn't help herself, she was loving this drama. "Ah, young love..."
Celestia put a comforting hoof on the distraught girls shoulder, "Neither of you have anything to worry about...Yes, taking this 'job' was a mistake. But your motives were each somewhat understandable- you didn't believe anyone would REALLY get hurt and Tyrone wanted to provide for his own family and make sure you were safe. But more importantly; when you saw innocent lives were at risk, you fought back despite the danger you knew you would place yourselves in."
Celestia frowned, "I'm confused about one thing...if you were coming to assassinate me...how did Twilight and the other fillies got involved?"
Wendy frowned, "That's the weird thing...night before that attempt on your life, our orders changed."
"How so?" Asked Celestia.
Again Wendy frowned, "It was all last minute, even Powers seemed thrown off by it. In any case we were given 6 locations, times and bio-signatures for the drones to lock onto...we had NO idea who we were targeting-
"Until you saw them on your...'screen's'? I think that's what you called them?" While Wendy verified, Celestia's mind raced. This whole thing was getting more bizarre and making less sense the more she heard it...
Assassinating her in a bizarre political move, okay. That made sense. MAYBE, killing Twilight if someone suspected she was a shoo-in to be her next apprentice...but 6 random fillies scattered across Equestria? It baffled her!
She briefly thought about the Rainboom that gave everyone their cutie marks, but dismissed that. There was no way anyone could predict a random event like that...right?
She shook her head of such things, she learned all she could from Wendy and the moved on to the next room...and a less then pleasant individual.
Celestia glared at the defiant look of one Robbie Valentino, unlike Wendy and Tyrone...Robbie was just a jerk. He'd been a teenage freelancer like Wendy. But unlike her; Instead of helping them save the fillies he assisted Powers in trying to regain control of the drones to continue the mission...
Celestia had been accused of being 'too forgiving' and maybe they were right...but here...with someone who would KNOWINGLY murder helpless little fillies for glory and profit...no, there would be no forgiveness.
"Do your worse, I'll never talk!" He shouts smugly.
Celestia quirked an eyebrow, "Oh, no?"
...5 seconds later...
"I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!" Screamed Robbie as Celestia dangled him several feet in the air with her magic, Celestia smirked. Indeed, being the 'Mom of Equestria' for so long had also given her the innate knowledge of knowing when a boy was 'all talk'.
Now despite her anger toward him, he was still just a boy. First chance she'd get she'd contact his parents and leave his punishment to them...unless their punishment was lacking, then she'd take matters into her own hooves. Nothing too nasty, again he was only a teen...maybe just 5-10 years in jail?
It was certainly a greater mercy then she'd be giving the NEXT human.
...
"Name: Anonymous Powers, Rank: Special agent level 5, serial number: QR-5890. And that's all your getting out of me." Stated the human adult flatly.
Celestia just frowned at him, Robbie more less gave her the dame level of info that Wendy gave him...well, mostly LESS. But as for this one...
"I don't suppose you'd at least be willing to give me the location of your 'nation' so I can begin diplomatic negotiations with them?" Indeed, it seemed that Tyrone, Robbie and Wendy were blindfolded when they left Eagleland. Thus Powers was the only one who knew where it was.
Powers simply remained silent...
Suddenly a messenger pony came in and whispered into her ear.
Celestia smiled and flawlessly listed the coordinates of Eagleland, and was given the pleasure of seeing the seemingly unflappable face of Powers...lose all composure.
"What...but...HOW!?" He demanded.
Celestia smirked, "I have my ways..." Turns out Tyrone had left a tracker back in his flat to let him know WHERE Eagleland was just in case something went wrong. He was also currently hacking Power's equipment to get any intel he could.
Celestia continued, "Soon will know many other things...so you see, it's really in your best interest to cooperate with us. Depending on how much intel you give I'd be willing to give lenience and protective custody.
But Power's wasn't really listening... "I have failed my country...worse, I've brought the devil to our doorstep...only one way to lessen my disgrace..."
CRACK!
Celestia's eye's widened as Powers suddenly slammed his face down onto the counter with a sickening crack, then spasm uncontrollably as he started to foam at the mouth.
"WE NEED A MEDIC!" Shouted Celestia as she tried to use her magic to heal him...but it was too late...
And that's how the concept of a Cyanide capsules was introduced to Equestria...
...It wouldn't be the last horrible thing introduced in the coming days either...
...
What were those 'THINGS' that the guards arrested!?
What were those creatures that killed the fillies!?
What's this about their being NEW PRINCESSES!?
Celestia sighed, the nobles and press were at arms.
"First of all those 'things' were humans- She waited for the maelstrom of questions to die down a bit -apparently there is a small group of them still around...and their government sent a team to assassinate me- Again, she was forced to weather out an onslaught of questions, demands and accusations -Thanks to some 'rebellious elements' within their ranks, their plot was foiled. The guilty one's have been taken in custody and those who aided me are now in PROTECTIVE custody." Not technically a lie, Celestia had decided to simplify things for the sake of helping Tyrone and Wendy adjust to their current situation, and smooth out future trouble with any future interactions with humans that had nothing to do with this whole mess...
"What about the fillies?! Have they really become NEW princesses!?" Demanded a reporter.
Celestia sighed, "Were still investigating HOW it all came about...but YES, I'm proud to say we have SIX new alicorns-
"Is it true that they are from COMMON roots?" Snaps Upper crust.
Celestia glares, "If by which you mean they weren't part of any of the 'noble' families BEFORE their ascension, then Yes."
The uproar and arguments amongst the crowd that broke out forced Celestia to call a recess to bring things to order. "They reacted this way to do...I'm not looking forward to telling them to prepare for a potential war with this 'New Eagleland.'"
Indeed, Celestia hoped that it wouldn't come to that, that she could talk through this situation...but based on what she'd learned about their 'glorious' leader...she wasn't holding her breath...still, she had to at least TRY. She refused to condemn a new species to war simply because their leader was a murderous monster...
...
Celestia looked warmly upon the six new filly alicorns, "Now I'm going to soon be away on important business to...'handle' those who caused this...'situation' we find ourselves in." Explained Celestia delicately.
"Are you going to fight the people who almost killed us?" Asked Twilight concerned.
Celestia sighed, "We'll see Twilight, we'll see...in any case, while I'm away I'll be leaving the kingdom and your education in the hands of Princess Candace!"
Princess Candace smiled as she entered the room when introduced, "Hello Twilight, and girls. Rest assured I'll help you through this like Celestia helped me through my ascension. I also hope we all become good friends!"
Rarity, Picking on Candace's familiarity to Twilight. Turned to the purple filly. "Wait, do you know the princess?" Twilight smirked, "Of course! She's my foal sitter! And my brothers 'special somepony',shining likes to keep a picture of her under his pillow and everything!"
The other fillies and Celestia giggled at Candace's fluster...
...
"My word, what interesting times indeed! The humans have returned and six new princesses have taken the throne! Maybe now I can FINALLY get my ANTI-giant man-eating spider legislation passed." Said lord Quentin Trembly Esquire as he trotted into his mansion.
His butler Nathaniel Northwest grumbled out a 'yes sir' to his insane boss as he once more 'feed' the 'invisible' crumpled-horned snorlax family with the 'invisible' chow...and once more felt like a daft fool for doing so.
"I feel good about six fillies brought into government...it's the same reason I proposed babies being made into judges awhile back...don't know why it was rejected.
Nathaniel had gotten VERY good at not rolling his eyes over the years at his ludicrous boss, "A real mystery sir." He said with a very convincing tone of sincerity.
Trembly nodded, "Well, enough about that1 Time to practice ridding my manticorn backwards!"
Nathaniel Northwest glared after his boss...now most people would enjoy his position. True; his boss was an insane collector of 'oddities' and was regularly considered a laughingstock among the nobility, but his pay and hours were quite decent. And despite his eccentric demands he was quite nice...so all and all an okay job...
But most people aren't a misanthropic sociopath like Northwest...
"It's not fair an idiot like you gets all this wealth and prestige...one of these days Trembly...one of these days..."
...
The day had finally come...Celestia was worried, the sad fact was all the years of peace had rather made the EUP more ceremonial then an actual army...still Tyrone had tried to prepare them as best he could...
So without delay, Celestia orders the army to descend into the crevice...and into New Eagleland...
...…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!
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