Tales of the Falls
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
RasenganFin: Eh, I was running out of steam for this story and I was grasping at straws. What can I tell you?
Gamelover41592: Thank you.
Dusk: If I don't no one else will, I'm not a huge fan of Enabler's/co-dependents relationship's OR 'Karma Houdini's'
Wicked.A: Eh, more or less.
NyaNyaKittyFace: Eh, I liked Bioshock infinite, but Comstock was kinda...boring(as a character, not his plot twist backstory, I enjoyed that)
...III...
"YOUR SUING US!?" Asked Celestia confused. The blue-maned pony adjusted his glasses as he nodded, 'You-Know-Who' is a registered Trademark of 'Harry Potter', the estate of J.K. Rowling demands an immediate stop of the unauthorized use of that nickname!" Shouted the lawyer Pony.
Celestia just face-hooves herself...she didn't have time for this nonsense...
...
They had to delay Departure for another day or so; Preparations needed to be made, relatives needed to be called, politics needed to be wrangled. All that.
It had been decided that their official coronation...and the Trial of Jack Harper would be postponed until AFTER the current crisis was dealt with.
It had been decided that the Mane Six would be sent on Airships piloted by a small garrison of loyal royal guards, 'officially' they'd be touring the country on a PR trip to ease the populace into the idea of their now being 'six' more princesses...
"Soon to be more." Thinks Twilight to herself with a chuckle, then frowned as her thoughts went back to the current situation. They'd just been told by Celestia that the royal guards sent to the various Zero Dawn facilities had not only reported them completely impregnable to means both mundane and magical, but at least one of the facilities had come online already...
Naturally, her friends were confident that despite everything they'd triumph like they always did! And Twilight wanted to share their confidence...and yet...this time felt DIFFERENT-
"TWILLY!" Twilight immediately brightened hearing the voice of her BBBFF Shining Armor, she turns around just in time to be glomped by her former foal-sitter/sister-in-law.
"TWILLY! YOUR A PRINCESS LIKE ME NOW! WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!" Squealed Candance excited, Twilight just smiled and hugged her back and greeted her parents as they walked in...
...
"I don't like this Applejack, I don't like this one bit." Stated Granny Smith flatly. "Nope." Agreed Big Mac. Applejack shook her head, "Come on Granny, Big Mac. me and the girls have saved Equestria numerous times and NOW were Princesses on top of everything- Gestures to her wings while extending them -This is gonna be a piece of apple Fritter!" Says Applejack confidently.
Granny just shakes her head at this 'youthful bravado', one look around shows that the rest of the six- Except perhaps Twilight and Fluttershy -seemed equally confident in the missions success...Hopefully those two would keep their wits about them and keep the others afloat...
"Still...at least she'll be safe...in the air of a military-grade ship, surrounded by armed guards, and equipped with her new alicorn powers and the element of honesty...in fact..."
Granny nods, and makes a decision. "Applejack I'd like you to take Applebloom with you..."
Little did she know that Sweetie Belle and Scotaloo would be going with their respective Sister-figures. Scotaloo because her house was being fumigated and Sweetie Belle since their parents were going on yet ANOTHER extended trip...much to Rarity's irritation.
...
Twilight was excited! They were going to test Starswirl's spell on Shinning! He'd volunteered, and if this works...he'd be an Alicorn just like them! She trots happily toward the main hall, element of Magic perched proudly on her Tiara.
As she's walking past the princesses Room-
Luna sigh's can be heard, "Candace is certainly a lucky girl...soon she'll have a partner to share eternity with." She said in a rather melancholy way.
"Now sister, don't fret. Need I remind you that by the sound of it Shining will simply be the first of many new Alicorns MALE's..." Points out Celestia optimistically.
Curious, Twilight listened in.
Luna perked up, "Yes I suppose your right- she gets a thoughtful looks -OH! Perhaps we could tell the girls to make finding the males a priority!" She asks with a devilish smirk.
Twilight blushes, were they seriously going to ask her and her friends to play matchmak-
Twilight let out a sigh of relief when Celestia shook her head, "I'm sorry Lu-Lu, maybe under different circumstances... But we can't afford that luxury right now. We need all the Alicorns we can get!"
Luna sighed but nodded, "Oh, what I wouldn't give to wake up to find a warm body beside me who wasn't going to just die in a mere century while I lived on..." She admitted sorrowfully.
Celesita gave her sister a hug, "You always have me sister."
Luna smirks, "Thanks Tia...but you know I don't swing that way, right?"
Celestia giggles, "Oh, YOU!" She playfully slaps her shoulder as they both laugh together.
But while they laughed, a young purple Unicorn was suddenly very thoughtful. "Huh...I never thought of it like that...But I guess being immortal WOULD be tough on any relationship to a mortal pony...poor Luna. Well, I'll do what I can to find her an alicorn Stallion! She won't be lonely anymore!"
With a resolute smile Twilight walks forward with determination...and then her thoughts turned to less pleasant matters...
"Wait a minute...what dose that mean for me? Will...dose this mean I won't ever find a special Somepony?...wait, will ANY of my friends get to have a special somepony?! Will everyone we love age away and die!? ...wait...will I outlive my parents?!"
Fortunately this downward spiral of thoughts did NOT derail her concentration during the ritual as Shining became an Alicorn.
Although he eagerly embraced his ecstatic wife...he excused Twilight to go to bed. He'd known her long enough that when she got that 'look' on her face...it was best to give her space...you only had to experience your room being set on fire one time before you got THAT message.
...
They spent one more night at the castle both to rest after the ritual and to give Luna and Celestia time to take what they'd learned from the ritual to calibrate the elements to work long-distances so the Mane 6 could still do the ritual even when scattered across Equestria.
When they packed up and left on their airships, there was no fanfare, no real ceremony. Time was of the essence after all. No, it was just a quick goodbye to family and friend then off with them...well, most of them.
"Thanks for coming to keep me company Discord, I appreciate it." Bubbled Fluttershy happily as she flew up and gave the chaotic Chimera a hug.
Discord went blushed a nice shade of purple/green then shook her off. "Don't get the wrong idea! I'm just going with you because otherwise I'd have no one to spend time with except the Debbie Downer sisters!" Huffed the Trickster spirit as he points toward the two amused looking alicorn princesses.
"Whatever you say, Discord!" Said Celestia trying VERY hard to keep a straight face.
"Yes, whatever I SAY! And don't you forget it!" Said Discord with a snarl.
"hungry?" Asked Fluttershy helpfully as she held up a tray. Discord's eye's brightened, "COOKIES!" He clapped his hands enthusiastically, he then took off his horns which grew mouthy tentacles that ate the treats gleefully.
Fluttershy just giggled happily...
...
Twilight smiled as she looked over to her pink-haired friend as she ascended into her airship. "Well, Fluttershy seems taken care of...but what about the others? What about...me?" She thinks forlornly...
She knew that there'd be plenty of guys that would become Alicorns during this trip, and that would probably work out well for the others...but HER? Twilight was self-aware enough to know that her 'interests' and 'hobbies' although exciting to her was only tolerable to others(in her age group) in small dosages.
Nope, probability was against her either. Either guys would be within her age group but wouldn't touch her personality with a 10-ft pole, or would like her personality but be too OLD to desire a relationship...hoping for a mixture of the two was just unlikely as it was impractical!
She sighed, she tried to go back to the more noble and selfless pursuit of trying to figure out a way to extend the Alicorn ritual more so that her friends family could be added...
And yet...she couldn't help but occasionally fantasies about a teenage Stanford Pines...no mater how laughable the scenario was...
...Later...
They took off and landed at their destination at Canterlot without incident. To prevent from being mobbed, Twilight had an illusion of a rather plain and grey earth pony put over herself. She'd have to appear before the mayor for a grand ceremony later that evening(they had to do things like that to keep a lid on their TRUE purpose), but for now she was going to the Canterlot Museum.
Now Twilight knew that something bad was probably going to happen here...but until then she vowed to enjoy the new 'pre-three tribes era exhibit!'
"Explain to me again why I have a disguise of a purple infant colt?" Asked spike annoyed as he leaned against a nearby wanted poster of a little blue colt.
Twilight sighed as she paid for their tickets at the Museum front desk, 'I'm sorry Spike, but I'm rusty on my illusion spells. This spell was the only one I could still remember that was your size." Said Twilight as she picked him up to carry him on her back.
Spike sighed but went with it...what else could he do?
Twilight examined her pamphlet at all the new exhibits showcasing all the civilizations that existed BEFORE the pre-unification three tribes of Equestria: Roamen, Haysian, Neighgypt, the Empire of Thulsa Doom-
"OH! Thulsa Doom! Now's my chance to see if all those letters I sent the curator paid off!" Exclaims Twilight excitedly.
Spike groaned, 'letter's' was putting it mildly. His throat had hurt for days after sending a proverbial catalogue worth of complaints to the poor curator...who had responded in a VERY inflammatory way.
He'd hidden the 'responses' so it didn't hurt Twilight's feelings...but he guessed he had no choice now... "Twilight, I'm sorry to say this...but the Curator won't do as you ask."
Twilight's eye's wiped toward him so fast, Spike was worried she'd get whiplash. "What?" She asked in a hurt tone.
Spike winched at this, he then tried to give her a more...'watered down' version of the curators response that wouldn't hurt her adopted mother's feelings...or wouldn't end with his mouth rinsed out with soap...
"I'm sorry, Twilight. But apparently their budget was tight and all the exhibits you talked about already had their placements decided and insured. So apparently it would've cost too much to correct a...frivolous concern?" He says that last part as delicately as possible while bracing for the explosion.
"FRIVOLOUS CONCERN!?" Screams Twilight enraged, her mane in flames. Spikes screams as he's forced jump off as his fanny burns. "I can't believe this! Am I the only one who cares of the seemingly constant misconception of the 'Cult of Set' getting grouped together with the 'Spawn of Set?!' Yes, technically they were sub-sects of the same cult with only a few minor aesthetic differences separating them that were only implemented for tax reasons! BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING! They were treated as different groups by their culture! Therefore, it's our duty as academics that we should label them as such! Honestly, am I the only one who cares about the cornerstones of-
-THE CORNERSTONES OF TRUE ARCHEOLOGY! THE CULT OF SET AND THE SPAWN OF SET WERE CONSIDERED DIFFERENT GROUPS BY THEIR CULTURE! THEY SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH!"
Twilight smiled at this proclamation. She begins to turn her head toward a fellow TRUE academic-
And her entire world froze...
There standing/shouting in front of an increasingly annoyed guide who in turn was standing in front of the forbidden burial chamber of Thulsa Doom...was Stanford Pines...No, it was a look-alike of Stanford Pines...THAT WAS HER AGE! HER TEENAGE FANTASY HAD COME TRUE!
"Look buddy, if you don't calm down I'll have to have you kicked out!" Snapped the guide.
Her heart racing and her hormones overriding her usual love of rules and order- "Spike! Quick! Cause a distraction! NOW!" Hissed Twilight between her teeth.
Spike looked at her confused, but obeyed with a shrug. He threw a small fire ball at a nearby tapestry.
The guide, seeing this. Panicked and ran to save the priceless ancient relic, as did the nearby guards...
Twilight smiled seeing this...then gaped in horror as her mind finally regained control from her loins. "GAH! I JUST DESTROYED A PRICELESS WORK OF ANCIENT ART!? WHAT WAS I THINKING!?"
She groaned, what was wrong with her!? Just because some random guy just happened to look like her fictional crush and just happened to have the same pet peeve over the same common historical misconception was no reason to lose her senses and go Ga-Ga over some GUY! She wasn't Rarity for crying out loud! She had dignity! She was smart! She was a princess! She-
And then she saw the Stanford Pines look-alike take advantage of the distraction to pull 5 viper teeth from 5 separate creatures from the lands of isle 'Mc-dosen't-exist' from his satchel and places them into the glyph's based on how the ancient 'This-culture-is-a-load-of-baloney' people organized their math...OPENING A HIDDEN DOOR IN THE BURIAL CHAMBER!?
"MY BOOKS ARE COMING TO LIFE BEFORE MY EYES!" Squealed Twilight with delight
And like that...Twilight's loins resumed control as she blissfully followed the apparent avatar of all her fantasies and dreams...
...
The 'look-alike' smiled as he looked around the hidden chamber, "Just one more obstacle...good thing I can read ancient 'Stupid-made-up-language'...wow, the ancient people who came up with these names must've had a LOT of anger issues."
He read the ancient writing correctly as the magic contained within highlighted them...and once done, the nearby snake pictogram peeled itself from the wall, morphed into a real snake and spat out the snake Talisman into his waiting hoof.
He smirked, "Okay, and now just need to get out of here before-
SQUEAL!
He looked behind him and saw a grey earth pony squealing and delight and practically bouncing up and down like a loon.
"OHMYCELESTIA!THISISSOAWESOME!THISISJUSTLIKEINBOOK3:KINGSOFKATMANWHO!WHENSTANFORDPINESDICOVERDTHEANCINETSUNSPHEREOFSOLARISBYFINDINGTHE-
As Twilight let out her inner-fangirl, He just stood there stunned at this unexpected intrusion. "What the- Who are- he shook his head, "Never mind. Listen to me, you need to get out of here! Some dangerous men are-
His eye's get wide, "GET DOWN!" He shouts as he leaps and pushes Twilight to the side-
ZAP!
GAH!
He screamed as he writhed on the ground in agony-
STANFORD!
Screams Twilight horrified. "Whoa, man did you just try and shoot the girl?" Asked a grey maned, green earth pony named Ratso. "Nah, man! Finn don't hit the ladies! I knew he'd jump in front of him! That's what goody-goody types like him do." Said a red maned,white unicorn named finn. "Still man...that's a bit of a gamble, what if he'd been too slow?" Asked a black maned, orange pegasus named Chow.
"Fine! I won't do it again! Can we PLEASE just grabbed the talisman and go!" Shouts Finn impatient.
"You...hurt him..." The three thugs looked up at the grey, sobbing earth pony that was looking over Dipper's writhing body.
"Excuse me?" Asked Finn confused, out of the corner of his eyes he sees an infant purple colt somehow run out of the room fearfully.
Still crying, Twilight turned around...her disguise falling away...and her mane turning to flame...
Now the enforcers may not be the smartest cookies at times...but like most males they shared the survival instinct of knowing when an angry girl was about to kill them...
"Mommy." They whimpered.
...
The next day the Canterlot museum would close it's door's permanently...or it would have if there were any left standing...or any walls to HOLD the doors at all...
But that's a story for tomorrow...let's get back to TODAY...
...
Inside the ruins of what was once a institute for historic learning...a Purple Unicorn began to panic. "GAH! WHAT HAVE I DONE!? MILLIONS OF YEARS OF HISTORY DOWN THE DRAIN! I'M A DISGRACE TO ACADEMICS EVERYWHERE! CELESTIA WILL BANISH ME FOR SURE! OR WORSE! SEND ME BACK TO MAGIC KINDERGARTEN!"
"TWILIGHT! A LITTLE HELP HERE!?"
Twilight turns around to see Spike trying to help up a stunned Stanford look-alike, "You...Your Princess Twilight." He said amazed.
Twilight had to suppress a squee at seeing HIM alive and ready for another adventure! This amazing, brilliant, selfless Stallion! If only he was a...hold the phone...
Twilight got a wicked gleam in her eyes.
"Wait, so you had an illusion on to go see the exhibits too?" The Stallion chuckled, "Wow, that's funny cause actually- Wait, what are you doing?" He asked as Twilight summoned the Element of magic to herself and began to activate it-
...
All across Equestria, the rest of the mane six felt the call from their friend and eagerly responded with their own elements harmonious energies...
...
"I know this sounds crazy, but I'm about to turn you into an Alicorn! An honest to goodness Alicorn PRINCE!" Shouts Twilight excitedly as the power in her element began to reach it's climax.
The stallions eyes went wide, "Wait, what?" He asked confused.
Twilight continued on, "I'm sorry for acting so weird earlier, but between looking/acting like my all-time favorite fictional character and some other emotional issues I've been dealing with...SHOOT! I almost forgot to ask! Would you like to be a prince and live Forever with me!" Shouts Twilight excitedly, then blushes when she realized she said too much in her excitement. "Er, I mean live forever with me and my friends of course." She lied weakly.
Spike slaps his face, "Real smooth." He groans. Honestly, this whole thing read like a poorly-written romance novel...
The stallion was equally flustered as well as confused. This was all happening so fast! And that earlier blow to his body wasn't helping his thought process either. "Wow- I- What- I don't- I mean, YES. I want to do that, but there's something I need to-
"HE SAID YES!" Interrupted Twilight excitedly and she let loose the magic!
The Stallion's eyes went wide, "WAIT! THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YO-
ZAP!
Twilight fought off the exhaustion and rushed toward the best thing that ever happened to her! She could feel it! The ritual was a SUCCESS! The whole area was now shrouded with smoke from the ritual. But she could see his general outline!
For the first time since overhearing that conversation between Luna and Celestia, she felt HAPPY! Twilight didn't care about what happened next! She's never felt this way about someone before! YOU ONLY LIVED ONCE! EVEN IF HE REJECTED HER, SHE WAS GOING FOR IT!
"I LOVE YOU!" Screamed Twilight as he lifted up the obscured visage of the stallions face and kissed him!
...Candance always told her that her first kiss would be special...but that STILL didn't do it justice! She...she felt...COMPLETE. Like there'd been a missing piece of her heart all this time and she'd never known, never suspected, never even thought POSSIBLE.
And now...now it was home...SHE was home...with HIM.
After an eternity...Twilight finally- reluctantly pulled away, opened her eyes as the smoke dissipated...AND SAW A LITTLE, FLUSTERED, BLUE aLICORN COLT IN HER ARMS!?"
"what?" Asked Twilight uncomprehending...
Dipper Pines looked at the PRINCESS who just gave him the best kiss EVER and winched, "Okay, I just want to say it was NEVER my intention to deceive you! I swear, I was about to tell you everything before you hit me with the elements! I ESPECIALLY would have told you sooner if I knew you felt that way!" He exclaimed frantically and sincerely.
"What?" Whimpered a baffled Twilight.
"It's just- I've caused problems at the museum before...I needed a way to fool the guards! And also fool any 'Dark Hands' who saw me! I'm so sorry!" He pleaded.
"What?" Said Twilight again...what could she say?
"I-I...I am so sorry! I promise I'll do ANYTHING to make it up to you! I would NEVER hurt you intentionally...are you mad?" He whimpered.
Twilight...her heart in pieces...sobbing a storm. "I...I have to be alone now..." She ran away in tears.
Dipper groaned, "Wow...I really messed up this time, didn't I?" He looked sorrowfully as the Princess he admired most ran away...
Spike put a comforting claw to his shoulder, "Don't take it too hard...she's going through some things right now." He said in an equally sorrowful voice as he looked toward the direction his adopted mother went...
...Meanwhile...
Deep with the Zero Dawn facility...HEPHAESTUS stirred...the ancient machinery that powered and enabled him...were coming back to life...and the machines...his glorious machines...were ALIVE once more.
His new master had made improvements...and now he would use them...
And thus the Royal Garrison staking out this particular facility could only watch helplessly as giant cannons formed on top of the structure that recently rose from the ground...and fire canisters carrying a new threat to Equestria...to every corner of the globe...
And soon...his brothers and sisters would wake too...
...IIIā¦...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!
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