Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.

...responses...

thekingscrew: Mable hit Wendy in the eye and got Pacifica sick, true it was accidental but can you really blame them for being mad? Espeically if Mable didn't take it seriously?

The Howling Behemoth: thank you

Gamelover41592: thank you

...III...

Pacifica yawns as she wakes up...she's alerted to a yawn from Wendy. Pacifica remembers what happened last night as she turns to face her, and then has to try very hard not to laugh.

Sometime during the night, Dipper can turn around in his sleep and dive face first in Wendy's cleavage without waking up. stifling laughter and takes out her phone ready to record everything. She was worried that Wendy would ruin it...but she just smiles, nods and waits for Dipper to wake up...

And then Pacifica gets another idea...

Dipper groaned as he did just that, "Wha- Why am I sleeping on marshmallows?" Ha asked groggily.

Both Wendy and Pacifica laugh, "They're not Marshmallows but thanks Dipper." She teases.

Dipper of course bolts up and falls out of bed stammering out "I- I- I- I didn't do anything that would get me beheaded by your dad did I?" Says Dipper as he cautiously gets back up a grinning Pacifica on the bed almost blocking his view of Wendy.

"Actually you did. I have a sneaking suspicion that if any guy motorboats me would get his head slammed on my dads Wood Chopping Stump."Wendy further teases.

Dipper freaks out and starts to cry and Wendy scolds him- she tries to get out of bed but Pacifica silently texts her to stay put and that she has a surprise for her - saying she was joking since there is no way she's telling her father about that.

"Well unless we got married, and even then a month after the Honeymoon was over..." She further teases as Dipper's face reddens.

"But seriously though, Why was I in bed with and my pants off?" Asked Wendy confused. "You dragged him into bed and I cup checked him when his 'enjoyment' poked me in the back, but that's it." Explained Pacifica quickly.

Wendy frowned at that, "Why am I disappointed that no funny business happened?" She thinks to herself confused

Then Pacifica turns to Dipper and suddenly says, "Hey weren't we going to go ask Mcgucket about the laptop? Why don't you go on ahead to make sure he's at the junkyard while we get your stuff?"

An excited Dipper thanks her and runs, Wendy is about to say something but is stunned when she gets her first real glimpse of Dipper that morning.

So stunned is she, she says nothing when Dipper runs out the front door. She looks at the blonde girl with no admiration, "You sneaky little devil." She says with respect.

Pacifica whistles a tune as she twirls something around her fingers as she locks all the doors, "Want to bet how long it takes him to figure it out?" She smirks evilly...

...

Dipper quickly ran through the town, it was still early so no one was really out. Not that Dipper cared, he was too busy focusing on his 'mission'. Finally, after all the trials and tribulations he would finally know the secrets of Gravity Falls! All signs pointed to Mcgucket being the author! The banged hand where a missing digit might be, his knowledge of supernatural things, his mechanical genius, his age matched up with the timeline of when the journal was written, the possibility that whatever was hunting him drove him mad...it all added up!

Dipper smiled as he continued to run and fantasies...

...

"Dipper!? How did you survive the perils of Gravity falls!?" Shouted a reporter to much more muscular, rugged Dipper while he was being photographed on all sides...

Click, click, click, click, click!

"DIpper!? How dose it feel to be the most awesome supernatural hunter the world has ever seen!?"

Click, click, click, click, click!

"Dipper!? Is it true the UN wants you to personally broker peace between Iran and the Mothmen?!"

Click, click, click, click, click!

"Dipper?! What was your response being voted the sexiest man alive?"

Click, click, click, click, click!

"WE CAN ANSWER THAT!" Shouted a familiar red-head and a blonde clad in revealing bikinis as they jumped onto Dipper and start to make out with him...

Click, click, click, click, click!

...

Click!

"Yeah, that's a keeper!"

Dipper was knocked out of his daydream as a familiar voice showed up, he stopped ruining and faced Tambry as she grinned like a loon and took pictures of him like crazy.

Dipper shrugged this off, Tambry was always blog crazy, who knows what was 'trending' for her now?

"Hey Tambry, what's up?" Asked Dipper curiously.

Tambry just kept smirking, "You are, apparently, what was it too hot this morning?" She teased.

Dipper frowned, "Actually, now that you mention it, it feels rather cold-

And then Dipper felt it...a VERY cold breeze...BETWEEN his knees...

He slowly looks down...hoping, PRAYING he's mistaken...but he's not, he looks down...and see's his exposed, pantsless bottom and front exposed to all the world to see.

Tambry laughs, "Yeah, you do look cold."

Indeed, the cold air REALLY wasm't helping his situation. Mortified, Dipper pulls his shirt over his front and tries to run.

"Whoa, 'hot pants' where's the fire!?" teased Tambry as she grabbed the back hem of his shirt-

RIP!

And like that, Dipper was now fully naked! Humiliated, Dipper covered his privates with his hat and ran back home as Tambry took more pictures of his fleeing rear.

"I love to see you come but I love to see you leave even more! Wendy is lucky!" Shouts Tambry in teasing admiration.

Dipper tries to run home, but of course that moment is when everyone decides to wake up and start heading outside, "Oh, come on!" Shouts Dipper as he jumps into a nearby bush.

He groans as he see's that his escape toward the house has been blocked by a wall of citizens.

"Okay Dipper, don't panic! You prepared for situations like this! It's why you tapped a spare cellphone to the bottom of your hat! Just call someone to pick you up or give you clothes and-

Dipper pales, the phone in his hat is gone! Instead there is a note:

DEAR DIPPER, thought I'd do something different this time!

How about a challenge?

If you can do this 'adventure' naked to 'who the author' is without ANYONE seeing you naked(including me and Wendy)...me and Wendy will strip and be with you naked for a whole day!

So watch your but! Or we will!

Sincerely, Pacifica.

Dipper flustered as mental images come to him...Wendy...Pacifica...naked...then he groans. "Dang it, I already lost! Tambry already-

"Your secrets safe with me...provided I get some more pictures." Said a gleeful, easing voice behind him...as well as the sound of more photo shots.

Dipper groans...but reluctantly uncovers himself and let's tambry lead him to a secluded location...

...

"Shoot! What happened here?" Asked Wendy as they came to Mcguckets hovel. It was a wreck! ...even more so the usual!

Pacifica frowned, this complicated things. She and Wendy were going to hang back, hide, let Dipper stumble around naked trying to figure out how to 'interview' Mcgucket without him actually seeing him...he'd fail of course, but she and Wendy had decided to give Dipper the prize regardless of him winning or losing(he'd MORE then earned it really).

But if she was reading the signs right...

"Shoot, looks like Mcgucket got kidnapped." She said with a sigh, she'd SO been looking forward to relaxing today too...

Wendy looked at her curiously, "How can you tell?" She asked skeptically.

Pacifica rolled her eye's, "Let's just say that my dad engaged in...'extracurricular activities' enough times that I can recognize when it happens again."

She shakes her head, "Well, so much for the contest."

"Your gonna cancel?" Asked Wendy surprised.

Pacifica gave her an 'are you kidding?' look, "A man's been kidnapped, of course I'm cancelling it! Unlike Mable, I know when to take a situation seriously! When Dipper shows up we'll just give him clothes and promise to make up for his 'trauma' later."

Wendy looks around, "Okay, but in the meantime we should look for clues on Mcgucket's wereabouts."

"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" Said a new synthesized voice, they turn around to see waddles in a wheelchair.

"Hello Wendy, it's nice to finally-

DEMON PIG!

Screamed Wendy and Pacifica as they whipped out a gun and blasted the pig to bits...mechanized bits?

"(sigh), well that went as well as expected, any chance we could talk in a civilized manner?"

Asked the real Waddles behind a tree as a mechanical limb waved a flag of surrender as he gazed on the remains of his decoy...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!

Love me, flame me, review me