The Lonely Goatherd – Chapter 12

After Georg left, there was nothing for Maria to do but find her own clothes and get dressed. Even though she knew the urgency of hurrying so she could get back to the hospital as quickly as possible, Maria seemed to move slowly, like in a daze. Her mind was so full of many thoughts – thoughts of Georg and the things they had just been doing together in bed. Her skin still burned with the memory of his caresses; his fingertips moving softly along her body finding each and every sensitive spot, his mouth then following the path of his fingertips, and her pulse still raced in the aftermath of the ecstasy that he'd brought her. However she felt torn for although he had brought her to the brink of pleasure and back again, she still felt a sense of needing and wanting more because they had been interrupted before they could completely consummate their love.

But as she stared about the room with its enormous bed, dishevelled sheets and throw cushions scattered haphazardly, an overwhelming sense of guilt came over her. Maria knew exactly what she and Georg had been doing together and what she had allowed him to do to her and even though she had wanted it to happen deep down in her heart, her conscience started kicking in about how wrong it had been for them to do what they did. Despite the promise of marriage, they weren't married and if anything were to happen to either her or Georg, then she would have nothing to protect her. Even though Maria knew how much she loved being with Georg that night, she came to the decision that she couldn't let it happen again until they were married. It was too risky.

But the fact that they hadn't actually made love reassured her. In a way, the explosion happening when it did sort of saved her from making a reckless mistake that could possibly have dire consequences on the rest of her life. So saved by the explosion, not the bell… Maria laughed to herself as she finished dressing.

She was about to leave the room to go back to the hospital when she took one last look around. Even though she didn't have time, her feelings of guilt returned at seeing the wild state of the room so Maria quickly re-made the bed and tried to arrange the copious amount of throw cushions back on the bed the way they had been when they'd arrived at the room. However after a few minutes of failing miserably at her task, Maria gave up and tossed them haphazardly onto the bed then left. But rather than go back downstairs to the tavern to return the key to Elsa and face her, Maria just left the key in the keyhole.

The darkened streets were deserted as everyone had already flocked over to either the docks or the hospital to help out after the explosion. It didn't take Maria very long to get back to the hospital.

When she arrived, the whole hospital was in a complete state of disorganised chaos. Makeshift beds lined the hallways and nurses scampered everywhere while doctors frantically shouted orders and instructions over the noise of the people. Maria stopped in the doorway and stared around, not sure exactly where she needed to be or what she should be doing first.

Just then a shrill voice came in her ear. "Maria!" Sister Berthe cried. "Where have you been? We've needed you!"

"Well I…" Maria stumbled over her words. She could hardly have told the elderly matron where she had been, whom she'd been with or what she'd been doing.

"Never mind that," Sister Berthe cut Maria off immediately. "I'm just thankful that you're back. We're short on nurses now that Margaretta has disappeared."

"Margaretta? Disappeared? Where is she?" Maria questioned straight away.

Sister Berthe rolled her eyes. "Heaven knows! That girl has already gotten herself into enough trouble, I wouldn't be surprised if…" Sister Berthe stopped mid-sentence like she was about to say something she shouldn't. "Oh never mind." She swatted her hand and flared her nostrils widely before she started giving her instructions. "All right Maria, if you could take this tray to ward two first and see if they need any more help, then go down to the operating theatre to assist there, then…" Maria let out a deep breath as she listened to all of Sister Berthe's directions before tying her apron around her waist and getting to work.

Hours past and Maria hadn't stopped once. Thoughts of her night with Georg had completely vanished from her mind as she focused on her nursing duties, although she did keep an eye out for him as more and more people swarmed the hospital since he had told her that he would come and find her there when he could. Maria was thankful she hadn't seen him amongst the wounded. Slowly as the time past, there became fewer and fewer patients brought in and the ones that were at the hospital were now in a stable condition. Maria had overheard one of the doctors saying that the final count was six dead and around 50 or so wounded. Maria also overheard talk that apparently the explosion has been caused by a leaking drum of fuel and a stray cigarette butt thrown carelessly away. But because most people had gone out on the town that night and weren't down at the docks, it was lucky the number injured wasn't higher. Most of the people who had been wounded had been sailors trying to put out the fires and rescue those trapped.

As all the activity at the hospital died down, Sister Berthe started making the rounds to send people home as it was almost four in the morning. Since Georg hadn't come back to the hospital yet, Maria told the matron that she would stay and finish the clean up so that some of the other nurses could go to bed. Sister Berthe was very thankful and left soon after.

Now that the hospital was quiet, Maria tried to keep herself busy while she waited for Georg. But she was extremely tired. Her entire body ached: her legs, her back and her head, and her eyes had trouble focusing. The day felt as if it had gone on forever, and in a way, it had. It seemed a long time ago that Georg had returned from sea and they'd had their passionate reunion in the supply closet, not to mention what had occurred between them at The Lonely Goatherd only hours before. She needed something to do or else Maria knew that she would fall asleep on her feet.

She folded all the cleaned and unused bandages and collected the washed-up instruments and placed them on a tray to take back to the supply closet. Arriving at the closest, Maria couldn't help but remember how just over twelve hours prior she had been caught by Sister Berthe, in that very same supply closet, in a most compromising position with Georg. Maria shuddered to think of what Sister Berthe would say if she knew what Maria had gotten up to with Georg at The Lonely Goatherd that night. Not even bothering to turn on the light inside the closet and just using the light from the outside hallway, Maria quickly put each item back in its appropriate spot.

But just as she turned to leave the closet, Maria thought she heard a stifled sob coming from somewhere inside the small room.

"Hello? Is someone in there?" Maria called out hesitantly.

"Go away!" came a muffled reply from the depths of the dark closet.

Proceeding cautiously, Maria walked slowly into the closet, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. There at the back, curled up in a ball on the floor, was Margaretta. She was crying.

"Margaretta!" Maria exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

"Why do you care?" Margaretta answered irritably through her sobs, not moving from her position.

"I care," Maria told her. "We're friends – or we used to be…"

"Even after I tried to steal your Captain away from you?"

"Even then," Maria sighed. "But I forgave you a long time ago for that." Maria retrieved her handkerchief from her pocket and handed it to Margaretta. "And anyway, Georg and I are just fine." More than just fine, Maria thought as the memory of Georg's lips on her bare skin suddenly flashed through her mind. Maria felt her face flush red and she was glad of the darkness inside the cupboard.

"Really?" Margaretta sniffed, sitting up slightly. "I'm glad someone, at least, gets their happy ending…"

Hearing the bitterness in Margaretta's voice and her obvious state of misery, Maria wanted to find out more. She knelt down next to her friend. "What happened?"

Margaretta sat up properly and looked at her. Maria was surprised to see genuine fear in her eyes. "Promise me if I tell you that you won't say anything to anybody."

"Well…"

"Promise me!" Margaretta was insistent.

"All right," Maria reluctantly agreed.

Margaretta licked her lips slowly. "Maria, I'm in serious trouble. I'm p-pregnant…"

"Pregnant?" Maria repeated in disbelief. "How?" Margaretta glared irritably at her because of her stupid comment. Maria instantly backtracked. "Sorry, I know how, obviously, but when? Who?"

Margaretta at once broke down in tears again. "Oh this is such a mess! And it isn't like it seems, not really. Trust me, Maria, it isn't my fault!"

Maria moved from her crouching position to sit on the ground next to Margaretta. She put her arm around Margaretta's shoulders. "Let's start from the beginning as it's a very good place to start," Maria prompted her gently.

"Well," Margaretta began, dabbing her eyes lightly with the handkerchief. "It was that night at the tavern, you know that one when I kissed the Captain after we danced…" Maria nodded, remembering that moment all too well. "There was this man I met, his name was Rolf. He was sort of charming, in a kind of sleazy way I suppose and we talked a bit. But after the Captain ran out to find you, Rolf told me he had a room upstairs and asked me to go there with him."

"And did you?" Maria asked, but she already knew the answer.

Margaretta nodded. "I felt stupid and embarrassed about what had happened between me and the Captain and I wanted to forget about it. I felt rejected but when Rolf asked me to go with him, he made me feel wanted and desired. I knew it was wrong to go with him but there was something quite exhilarating about the thought of being a little naughty with a man, do you know what I mean?" Maria nodded, knowing all too well the allure and temptation of forbidden love.

"He'd been drinking quite a lot, and so had I actually, and it sort of seemed like a good idea at the time. But when we arrived at the room, I suppose I panicked a little. Seeing that bed and feeling his hands on my body, it felt all too real about what we were going to do." Maria gulped feeling a great sense of déjà vu as she listened to Margaretta's story.

"I asked him to stop. I told that I had changed my mind, but he wouldn't listen to me. He told me that I had led him on and that he wouldn't accept no for an answer." Margaretta started to tremble as she spoke. "He f-forced me, Maria. He hurt me and he hit me. I was powerless to stop him."

Maria was horrified by what Margaretta had told her. She had heard of men who would force a woman but never once had she encountered anyone who had been put through that. She took Margaretta in her arms and held her as she wept. Maria's blood went cold thinking about how terrible it was that this Rolf had been so cruel to Margaretta while how fortunate, in her own situation, that when she had changed her mind initially about making love that Georg was so loving, patient and understanding. Two very similar circumstances but two very different outcomes.

"And now you're pregnant?" Maria asked gently.

Margaretta nodded sadly. "I found out just a few weeks ago and I've been trying to work out what to do. I had hoped that once Rolf returned from sea that he might help me or do something. Perhaps a more honourable gentleman would have offered to marry me or give me money, but when I tried to talk to him tonight at The Lonely Goatherd he completely refused to give me any kind of assistance. He didn't even want to admit the child was his. He said he thought I slept around with everyone, that I was a whore and that he wouldn't be lumped with the consequences from someone else's mistakes. He told me to get lost and to never talk to him again."

"Oh Margaretta…" Maria let out a deep sigh, not knowing quite what to say. How could a man just abandon a woman like that? Unfortunately, she had heard stories back in Salzburg of many such men that would walk away from a woman in trouble, washing their hands of the situation and causing them to end up in the home for unwed mothers.

Maria rubbed her eyes, thinking that it couldn't get any worse for her friend when Margaretta continued. "And then, somehow, Sister Berthe found out. I don't know how but she did. And she told me I couldn't stay working at the hospital in my condition. She said that she only wanted good nurses who didn't get themselves into trouble and that I have to be gone by the end of the week. What am I going to do, where am I going to go?" Margaretta sobbed. "I have nothing, Maria. Nothing and no one."

"I don't know. I don't have any answers," Maria answered, holding Margaretta tightly again. She felt utterly helpless and she didn't know what to say either. She stroked Margaretta's hair and tried to soothe with the first thing that came into her head, "maybe just cry a little and wait for the sun to come out? It always does, you know."

"But the sun comes out every day!" Margaretta lamented with a wail. "How is that going to help my situation?"

"I don't know. I was just saying it to try and make you feel better."

"But… nothing could make me feel any better," Margaretta sobbed. "Nothing!"

Maria held onto her friend for a little longer in silence, hoping to suddenly come up with a miraculous answer to the problem, but she had none. The only thing she could suggest to Margaretta was to get her into bed and to rest. They had both had a long day and they both desperately needed sleep. Margaretta reluctantly agreed and allowed Maria to help her into her room. Probably due to pure exhaustion, almost the instant Margaretta's head hit the pillow she was asleep.

Maria also felt very eager to find her own bed and get some sleep but Georg still hadn't returned to the hospital. Maria wondered whether she should try to sleep and find Georg later that day, however she now had so many thoughts racing around her mind that she knew that even if she tried to sleep, she would not. No, it would be better to stay up and do something while waiting for Georg than toss and turn in her bed. Leaving the nurses quarters, Maria returned to the main part of the hospital to continue cleaning up while waiting for Georg.

Maria was exhausted as she walked down the main corridor. Her whole body ached even more than it did earlier. Her eyes stung and her head hurt. She yawned loudly and rubbed the corner of her eye as she walked, not really looking where she was going as her mind was too consumed with thoughts of Margaretta's unfortunate situation so she didn't see Georg until she bumped smack into him.

Maria almost fell down as her legs practically gave way under her. Georg steadied her by placing his hands on her shoulders. "Maria? Are you all right?" Georg asked gently as she seemed in a bit of a daze. Maria blinked several times, her tired eyes suddenly focusing on Georg's handsome face.

At seeing him, a great sense of relief washed over Maria. Immediately she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "Oh Georg!" She felt so weary and emotional that tears began forming in her eyes as she held onto him.

Feeling how tightly Maria was holding onto him and hearing the emotional strain in her voice, Georg wondered what was going on. Obviously he knew the night had been long and difficult for her after the explosion, but yet, he sensed that something else had happened. "Maria? You're practically squeezing me to death. Are you all right?" he asked again.

Maria drew back from their embrace just enough that she could look into his eyes. She wanted desperately to tell him everything that was going through her mind but she couldn't find the words, not to mention she had promised Margaretta faithfully that she wouldn't tell anyone about what had happened to her.

"I-I'm fine…" she stammered a little unconvincingly as she let go of him and took a half step backwards. "Really," she quickly added when Georg gave her a strange look like he didn't believe her. "I'm just… happy to see you, that's all. With everything that happened with the explosion, I was worried when you hadn't come back."

"I'm sorry it took some time getting back here," he replied as he scrutinised Maria carefully. Although she said she was fine, he was not convinced. She wasn't meeting his eyes and he knew her well enough to know when she was keeping something from him.

"Maria…" he began but suddenly Maria cut him off with a loud gasp.

"Georg! Oh my goodness, you're bleeding!"

She pointed down to a long, bleeding gash on his lower arm. Georg quickly rolled down his sleeve and covered up his bleeding arm. "Oh that's just a scratch. Nothing to worry about." He felt more worried about Maria than his own arm at that moment.

"No, it's not nothing. Let me have a look at that." Maria took his arm and pushed up the sleeve so she could examine him. "Hmm," she hummed thoughtfully. "It doesn't look that deep – I don't think you'll need stitches…"

"See? I told you so, it isn't that bad," Georg gloated triumphantly.

But Maria rolled her eyes and huffed. "And just who's the nurse here?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "Just because it doesn't need stiches does mean it isn't bad. If I don't clean and dress the wound it may get infected. Come with me and I'll fix it up for you."

Maria turned on her heel and led the way down the corridor to one of the examination rooms. Georg dutifully followed her trying to work out what was going on with her. The last time he had seen her, they were in the throes of passion in their room at The Lonely Goatherd, but now she was avoiding his eyes and his questions and she clearly had something on her mind. He knew that the explosion had been traumatic but she, like he, was trained to deal with all sorts of stressful situations so he didn't think that would be it. Perhaps he had done something wrong by running out on her in the middle of their lovemaking? Surely she understood that he needed to go, and she certainly had said she understood at the time, but could she be angry with him? Or had something else happened that he didn't know about? He wished she would talk to him, but she was a woman and they were always more complicated than men.

In the examination room, Maria directed Georg to sit down on a chair while she found all the swabs, ointments and bandages she needed to clean and dress his wound.

Maria felt torn. She had so much that she wanted to tell Georg about what was troubling her and she greatly needed his comfort but she didn't know how to begin. She knew that she shouldn't break Margaretta's confidence but she had to talk to someone about what was going through her mind. She felt sick to her stomach that a man like Rolf could force himself on her friend then discard her like rubbish. She knew deep down in her heart that not all men were like that, but the shock and horror of hearing Margaretta's story filled her with uncertainty. Maria desperately needed reassurance.

Georg sat silently watching her intently as she expertly attended to him. Although he knew she was a nurse, he had never seen her in action first hand and he was very much impressed by her skill. But in all the time she sat opposite him fixing his arm, she never looked at him once; she just chewed on her lip like she was in deep thought about something. He was worried.

"Maria…" he began but he didn't get any further because she spoke at the same time.

"Georg, you love me, don't you?" she asked him, her voice barely a whisper.

"Yes, of course I do," he replied instantly, a little puzzled that she even needed to ask him that. Didn't she know how much he loved her? "Maria, why…?"

"And you'd never leave me, would you?"

"No, never…"

"Not even if something were to happen between us?"

"No! What could possibly happen between us?" he cried feeling quite bewildered by all her questions. "Maria, why are you asking me this?"

Maria didn't say anything right away and just finished bandaging his injured arm. She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed the angry lump that had formed in her throat before she finally raised her eyes to look into his. She knew she couldn't keep it to herself anymore. "Margaretta's pregnant."

At once Georg groaned and slouched back in his chair. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips before running his hand over his face. He understood now why Maria was in a state. "Oh my love, come here."

He opened his arms to her and an instant later she was in his embrace. Tears ran down her face, half from the emotional turmoil she was feeling about Margaretta and the other half from pure exhaustion. "Tell me what happened," Georg asked Maria gently.

Still perched on Georg's lap, Maria wiped the tears from her cheek with the back of her hand. "Well," she began. "I came across Margaretta only a short time ago while I was waiting for you and she was upset. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she was pregnant. Apparently she met someone right after you danced with her at The Lonely Goatherd – you know that night you found me on the beach."

Georg nodded knowingly, guessing what had probably happened. "So Margaretta hooked up with someone at the tavern for the night and now she's in trouble? It happens, I suppose." He shrugged.

Maria stared at him open-mouthed. She couldn't believe that Georg was reacting so casually to her friend's predicament. "But it wasn't like that!" Maria protested, standing up on her feet. "Georg, he forced her and he hit her and now he won't have anything to do with her or the baby!"

Georg's head snapped up instantly. "What? Are you sure? Who was it?"

"A sailor. Someone called Rudolf or Ralfe or something like that. No, it was Rolf, I remember now. And I saw them together earlier tonight. Tall, blonde, sort of sleazy looking. I think he's a private. Do you know him?"

"Perhaps. There are a lot of low ranking marines from other ships that I don't know." Georg scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Can you do anything about him? Can't he be court marshalled for an offense like that?"

"Yes, of course. All sailors have a code of conduct that they need to abide by and held accountable to. But Maria, I'm not sure if there is anything I can do unless Margaretta comes forward and presses charges."

Maria shook her head. "She won't do that. She doesn't want anyone to know – I shouldn't have even told you! And to make matters worse, Sister Berthe somehow found out and she is forcing Margaretta to leave."

Georg let out a deep sigh. "Well, that's to be expected, unfortunately. Your Sister Berthe has her own code of conduct that she has to enforce."

"I know that too," Maria moaned, "but I just feel so bad for her. With Rolf refusing to give her any assistance, she has no money and no place to go."

"I'm sorry," Georg soothed as he pulled Maria back into his lap and into his arms.

"I know," Maria whispered. "I'm sorry to burden you with this, I just needed to talk to someone."

Georg held her tight. Now he knew what had been troubling her and it all made sense now. "So that's what all those questions before were about earlier," he spoke his thoughts out loud.

"I just couldn't help but think…" Maria stumbled over her words. "You know you and I were about to... Last night at The Lonely Goatherd… And if we had, er, made love, and something had happened and I fell pregnant…"

Georg knew exactly what she was getting at. He drew back so he could look at her fully. "You know I'd never leave you, right?" Maria nodded faintly. "I love you Maria and what we have together…" He inhaled deeply and looked at her in pure lust as he lightly ran his fingertips up and down her arms from her shoulders to her hands. "It's not like a one-night stand."

Maria knew that she should be reassured by what Georg was telling her but there was something about his casual mannerism regarding one-night stands that struck a nerve. She bristled. "But what if we were just a one-night stand?"

Georg looked at her confused. "I beg your pardon?"

"You've been with many women before – you told me so yourself. How can you be so casual about one-night stands when obviously there can be terrible ramifications from them?"

"How can I…?" Georg repeated, his brow furrowed, not quite believing what Maria was saying until it clicked. "Maria, now hang on…"

But Maria was starting to feel infuriated by everything that Georg was saying, or not saying. "It's all very well for you to have the most incredible rakish reputation and having all the ladies swoon over you. But did you ever think of the consequences of your actions?"

"Consequences? Like babies?"

"Yes!" Maria cried, jumping to her feet, her anger rising quickly. "How am I to know whether or not you have a brood of seven children hidden throughout Austria or the mountains of Switzerland somewhere masquerading as, oh I don't know, a singing group perhaps? Behold! The Swiss Family Pratt!"

"I beg your pardon!" he hissed fiercely, getting to his feet as well and standing in front of her face-to-face. "No one has ever contacted me about a child," Georg instantly defended.

"And how on earth would they even find you?" Maria exclaimed, her eyes blazing. "Oh that's right, you're the famous Captain von Handsomepants, rake of the Imperial Navy!" she stated mockingly, waving her arms about.

Georg's temper was rising. "That's enough," he commanded.

But Maria wasn't finished. Somehow the stress of the Margaretta situation, the left over emotions from their near-love making earlier that night and pure exhaustion suddenly opened a can of worms of unanswered questions for Maria. She kept going, words just tumbling out of her mouth without a second thought. "And if there was a child, what would you do? Leave the mother alone and penniless like Rolf has done to Margaretta?"

"Of course not, what kind of man do you think I am?" he fumed.

"Would you marry the woman?"

"Marry? Er, I don't know…"

"Money?"

"Maybe…? I'm not sure, Maria. I've never been in that situation."

"But you could have…"

"Yes, I suppose so…"

"So how many women have you been with Georg? I can all but assume it's more than just a couple."

"That's none of your business," Georg stated hotly, his nostrils flaring in anger.

"Why not? Shouldn't I know about the man I'm going to marry? Or will I just get a surprise one day with a knock on the door by a woman with a child on her hip?!"

Georg looked at her hard and flexed his jaw. As much as he was angry at her questioning and where their discussion was heading, Maria did have a point. He shook his head slightly as to try and shake the anger and frustration from him.

"You're right, it's more than a couple," he said quietly, his eyes not meeting hers. "A few more, maybe…" he lied feeling a bit dishonest as he knew the exact number.

Maria immediately sensed the deception in his voice. "Georg!" she exclaimed sharply.

He looked up and met her eyes. "Alright, alright. Eleven! Are you happy now?" he spat.

Maria was quiet for a moment. "Eleven?" she whispered to herself. "And if we had made love tonight then I would have been the twelfth in a long line of women who…"

"Enough!" Georg cut her off so abruptly that Maria was immediately silent. "Now," Georg continued, drawing himself up to his full height and glaring at her with a cold stare. "I'm tired, you're tired and I think this discussion has gone far enough. If you have finished delving into my past and insulting my honour and my character then I think we've said enough to each other for the time being. Goodbye."

Maria watched in shock as he turned on his heel and walked towards the door of the examination room. By the time she had realised he was actually leaving, she called out to him to stop him, "Georg, wait!" but he was gone.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has come back to read this story and have sent reviews. They are so encouraging. Lots more to come!