Chapter 46: Thursday, July 31, 1980
"Perfection only exists in pastries and babies."
-Gayle Wray
Hermione listened idly as Moody relayed the information that Remus had given about his assignment with the werewolf dens in Britain. As it turned out, he had been able to get a bit of information from a few of the lower ranked and newer wolves before his motives began to be questioned. He hadn't outright said why he was attacked, although with it being the full moon in unfamiliar territory with a pack of restless and untrusting werewolves, there didn't really need to be a reason, Hermione knew.
It just bothered her that apparently there was, and he had yet to bring it up.
Her mind replayed the snippet of conversation that she had overheard between Remus and Sirius the day before. Over and over the word "mate" sang in her head, like some strange earworm of a song she couldn't shake. She wanted desperately to talk to him about it, to ask him what it meant if they were mates, if his wolf had chosen her, but no time seemed right to ask. And with Alice giving birth to Neville the day before, all other conversations had been centered around the excitement of new life, and of Lily's impending due date.
She was expected to give birth any day now, and it was clear that James was panicking. He and Sirius had spent the entire morning baby-proofing everything he could think of. Nearly every surface of their house had been infused with a cushioning charm, as if James expected the baby to smack himself between the walls like some strange game of pinball. He had combed through every last bit of the nursery they had put together, stressing about the colours on the walls and the mobile of brooms and snitches above the crib.
On the complete opposite side of the spectrum, Lily seemed to be cool as a cucumber, no signs of worry or fear whatsoever. When Hermione asked how she was feeling about it the only response Lily had given was, "I can't wait to have this damn baby out of me!" something that Alice seemed to agree upon and a sentiment that Molly laughed all too knowingly about.
Hermione's chin rested in her palm as she jotted down notes as the meeting went on. She usually found it easy to scribe the details of the meetings, but when all they were talking about was Ministry infiltration that they all knew had happened and Aurors that everyone was aware of being crooked, it seemed redundant. She was thankful for the lack of movement from the Death Eaters, especially because they had been expecting some sort of backlash after Remus' near death escape, but it hadn't come. At least, not yet, anyway.
Lily's elbow bumped into Hermione as she shifted uncomfortably in her chair, trying to straighten her back as she rolled her shoulders. Hermione's hand slipped and she streaked ink across the page in her journal she was writing.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Hermione!" Lily said, as Hermione pulled her wand out to remove the blemish from the page.
"It's fine, nothing new to write down anyway," Hermione said. "Are you quite alright, Lily? You look a bit… pained."
"I've got a cramp in my back I can't get stretched out," Lily explained, "It's been aching almost all evening."
"All… evening?" Hermione asked, her head tilting to the side as her mind clicked into place. Neville's birthday was July 30th which meant… "Oh my god."
"What?" Lily asked, sounding panicked.
"Lily, you said you've been having pain all evening?"
"Yes, but it's just a twist in my back! I can't sleep in a comfortable position anymore, so it's not unusual for my back to-" she cut herself off with a sharp hiss between her teeth as she shifted again in the chair.
"Lily, I… I think you're having contractions."
"Don't be silly, I'm fairly certain I would know if I were having contractions. Besides, I'm not due for a few days yet."
"That doesn't mean you aren't having them, Lils. It's common for people to not give birth on their actual due date and-
"Oh my god."
"What?"
"I think I've just pissed myself," Lily said, her eyes growing wide.
"Lily I don't think you've-
"What is that?" Remus asked from the other side of Hermione, his nostrils flaring a bit as he leaned over, "That smell? What is that?"
"You can smell it?!" Lily hissed, "For the love of—Oh!" Lily groaned again, much louder this time, catching the attention of James and Sirius.
"You good, Evans?" Sirius asked, his brows pulling together.
"Fine. I'm… Shit! I'm fine."
"James, out of curiosity, do you have your overnight bag for the hospital with you?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah, it's my pocket. Started carrying it a few days ago, why?"
Hermione nodded, "Good. Lily's in labor and in denial. You need to Floo to St. Mungo's."
James jumped from his seat, garnering the attention of everyone else in the room as he frantically pulled Lily up from the chair she was in, "You're sure?"
"I'm sure Hermione is just being cautious and Oww! Fuck!" Lily groaned, hissing another sharp breath as she nearly doubled over.
James, with a look of absolute panic on his face, scooped Lily up from the ground, hooking her from the back of her knees and cradling her to his chest.
"Potter! Put me down, you dunce!" Lily yelled.
"Out of the way!" Sirius shouted, shoving Emmaline, Moody and Kingsley out of the way. "We've got a baby! We've got a baby coming!"
"Sirius shut up!" Lily shouted, "James, put me down right— Uggghhhh!"
"Pads, help mate!" James said, ducking into the fireplace, "Moony, Hermione, meet us there!"
Once Sirius threw a handful of Floo powder into the fireplace, James and Lily were gone in a swirl of green flames and Sirius instantly apparated out of the meeting. Remus looked at Hermione, something akin to nervousness swimming in his eyes.
"I guess we should… Erm… Head to hospital." Remus mumbled.
Hermione sat in the stiff seats, her fingers twisted through Remus', her head leaning against his shoulder as she watched with mild amusement as James paced the room back and forth at an impressive pace.
"She threw me out!" He complained again, "Can you believe that?! She made me leave!"
"The Healer said it could still be a few hours, yet." Remus reminded him, his eyes closed as he spoke. "And you're driving her insane."
"That's my child!" James said, "And my wife! They can't just make me leave! I'm going to go back in there and tell them-
"James, if you don't park your arse in a chair and shut up, I'm going to put a sticking charm on you until Lily says you're allowed in the room, understood?" Hermione said, leaning forward a bit to stretch her back out.
"But…" He trailed off when he caught the severe look on Hermione's face and finally sat down in the chair across from her, his leg bouncing wildly with nervous energy.
"Have you discussed names?" Remus asked, trying to get James to talk about something, rather than begin pacing again. "You haven't really mentioned it."
"I want to name her after my mum, but Lily isn't thrilled with the idea." James said, wrinkling up his nose, "Said Euphemia is too old fashioned."
"She's got a point, mate." Remus laughed.
"What if it's a boy?" Hermione asked, trying to bite back the smug look on her face.
"It's not," James said, simply.
"Humor me."
James sighed, tugging his hands through his hair. Just as he answered, Sirius came into the waiting room, levitating a few paper cups of tea behind him. He took the open seat next to James, passing around the cups of steaming liquid. He looked over his shoulder, checking their surroundings before pulling the silver flask from the inner pocket of his leather jacket, turning the top off and pouring a bit in his and James' cups before holding the flask out to Remus and Hermione. Hermione waved it off, but was surprised when Remus took it, dumping a healthy amount into his cup before handing it back to Sirius.
"Cheers!" Sirius said, raising his cup a bit before taking a swig. "Now, what were we talking about?"
"Baby names," Hermione said. "James is convinced it's a girl, what do you think?"
"Oh, definitely a girl." Sirius agreed, "This idiot wants to name her Euphemia. Mum was one hell of a woman, but I'm fairly certain even she would tell you to pick a different name. What was that name Lily liked? The muggle sounding one."
"Ashley," James said, wrinkling his nose up. "Could you imagine? Ashley Potter. It doesn't even sound right."
Hermione chuckled, "No, not quite the ring to it that you need."
"I think it's a boy," Remus said.
"You're wrong mate," James said. "It's a girl. I'm going to have a little girl, and she's going to be just as beautiful as her mum."
"Hopefully she looks like Lils, it'd be rather unfortunate for her to be stuck lookin' like her dad." Sirius laughed.
James punched Sirius on the shoulder, sipping from his cup and sighing, "Lily wants to name it Harry if it's a boy. After my grandfather…"
"Harry?" Sirius laughed, "Well that's an old man's name!"
"Like Orion is any better?" James questioned.
"I'm just saying… Orion John has a ring to it, doesn't it?" Sirius smirked around the rim of his cup.
They continued talking, laughing about the ridiculous names Sirius kept coming up with. Hermione gave no input, but sat back, smiling at the three men as they vibrated with a nervous excitement. Hermione tucked the scene unfolding before her into her memory to write down later, she had the feeling that Harry would be very amused to know that his father had been convinced he was going to have a daughter named Ashley.
"What about you, Hermione? What's your middle name?" Sirius asked.
"Jean," Hermione said.
"Really?" Remus asked, "I didn't… How come I didn't know that?"
Hermione shrugged, "Never asked, I suppose."
"Why Jean?" James asked.
"After my father. His name is Eugene, he goes by Gene… Or well, he did, before…" Hermione trailed off, her mouth twisting off to the side as she gnawed on her bottom lip. "Anyway, mum picked Hermione, so dad picked my middle name. Said Hermione was already enough on its own and didn't need an elaborate embellishment for a middle name."
"That sounds a sight better than he couldn't think of anything and wrote down his own name on the certificate," James joked.
"That's probably far more a likely scenario," Hermione laughed.
"Mr Potter?" A voice called from the other side of the waiting room. "Is there a Mr Potter present?"
"Oh god. Oh fuck! It's time! It's time! What do I do?!" James said, his eyes wide as dinner plates.
Hermione leaned forward, taking his cup from his hand. Sirius stood, pulling him up to his feet by his elbow and giving him a gentle shove toward the mediwitch who stood waiting, in aquamarine robes.
"Good luck," Hermione smiled.
James disappeared down the corridor on the heels of the mediwitch and Hermione and Sirius took their seats once more. After several minutes of silence, Sirius lowered his voice and leaned forward, "You're from 2001, you know James and Lily's sprog don't you?"
Hermione nodded.
"You've just been sitting here, listening to us chatter on about it, knowing who was right and who was wrong?" Remus said, the hint of a laugh in his tone.
"I have," Hermione said, smirking.
"And?" Sirius asked.
"And what?"
"Well, what is it?!" Sirius asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I don't think that's my secret to tell. I think you'll thank me later when you have James and Lily tell you." Hermione smiled.
"What good is it being from the future if you don't even help a bloke win a bet against his best mate?" Sirius whined.
Hermione laughed, turning in the chair to look between Remus and Sirius. "You took a bet?"
"Ten Galleons says it's a girl," Sirius said. "And Remus has to make me those fancy french sandwich biscuits that he hates making. The pistachio ones."
"And if Remus wins?"
"Ten Galleons and Sirius has to do my washing for a week."
Hermione laughed loudly, shaking her head as she sat back and finished the last of her tea.
"A BOY!" James' voice came whooping, laced heavy with emotion as he ran down the corridor and into the waiting room, "IT'S A BOY! I HAVE A SON!"
"Fucking hell!" Sirius groaned, digging the coins from his pocket and slipping them into Remus' palm before jumping out of his seat to give James a large embrace.
"You'll be the Godfather?" James asked, "Please?"
"Of course," Sirius said. "Of course. Mate, I… I'm honored."
James' face was blotchy and wet with tears as he nodded and turned to Remus, pulling him into a tight embrace as well, clapping him on the back. "You were right Moony, a boy! Can you believe it?"
"Congratulations, Prongs."
He let go of Remus and stood in front of Hermione, pulling her into his chest. "Harry James we've decided to call him. But something tells me you knew that, didn't you?" James whispered into her hair.
"I did," she said.
"And he's… you knew him?"
Hermione nodded.
"And I… I don't fuck him completely? He's a good man, yeah? Treats people well, has values, that sort of thing?"
"He's an amazing man, James." Hermione whispered. "Simply amazing."
James nodded against her before pulling away, wiping hastily at his face. "You all can come back and see him now, if you like? Lily's resting, bloody brilliant she was! I didn't think I could love her more but… Fuck she was amazing!"
"Well come on!" Sirius said, "I have a Godson to meet!"
James led the way back to the nursery, disappearing inside the small room and reemerging with a small bundle cradled in his arms. Just above the top of the blanket was a shock of jet black hair, shooting up in every direction and Sirius laughed.
"Poor kid, got that Potter hair gene!" Sirius said, his eyes misting over as he looked at the tiny boy in James' arms. "He's gorgeous, mate. Truly."
"D'you want to hold him?" James asked.
Sirius smiled and shifted nervously before James moved the bundle of blankets into his arms. As she watched Sirius whisper to him, bouncing with his steps and telling him about all of the trouble he'd get him into, Hermione felt a strange sadness in her gut.
Harry had been robbed of so much. The people surrounding him loved him so thoroughly and he was only minutes old. The softness of Sirius' face was something she had never seen on the man, the terrified nerves of a new father on James nearly tangible. She startled when she felt Remus' arms wrap around her waist from behind, pulling her back against his chest as he laced their fingers together, watching James and Sirius as they doted over Harry.
"You knew him well," Remus whispered. "You were much closer to him than you're letting on, weren't you?"
"Why do you think that?"
He bent low, pressing a kiss to the side of her face before whispering, "Did it occur to you why I would say so completely, that I thought Lily was having a boy?"
Hermione turned her head, straining her eyes to the side to look up at him. "No… Not until now."
He smiled sweetly and bent down, pressing his lips to hers in a chaste kiss before whispering, "You talk in your sleep sometimes."
Hermione laughed, gaining a look of surprise from both James and Sirius as they looked up from Harry.
After several minutes of passing Harry around, James finally shuffled him into Hermione's arms and announced he was going to take Sirius to check on Lily. Hermione protested, explaining she had never held a newborn baby in her life, but James shrugged her off and said Remus would help her if she needed it. When they disappeared a few doors down, Remus conjured a chair for her to sit in, knowing she was uncomfortable standing with him.
She sat in the chair, cradling the bundle of blankets to her chest. She looked down for the first time, really looked, at her best friend cradled in her arms. She felt the same tug of sadness as her eyes misted over, realizing this was the only time she had ever seen Harry without his very noticeable scar tearing through the left of his forehead. She felt her throat swell with emotion as she shifted her hand from under him, her fingertips ghosting over his forehead to land into the already wild black hair.
She had never seen something so perfect in her life, something so pure and unmarred by fear or insecurity. Harry's face scrunched up as he yawned, the tiniest sound coming from him that made a few of the gathered tears slip past her lashes, splashing onto the blanket he was wrapped in.
You should have known this, Hermione thought, sadly. You should have seen the love they all have for you. You beautiful little boy.
Hermione leaned forward, pressing her lips lightly to his tiny face, just above his eyebrows and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Harry." against his skin. If Remus heard her, which she was certain he probably had, he said nothing.
.
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a/n: I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but it begged to be this length. But yay! Sweet little baby Harry! I hope you enjoyed it!
xo
