Chapter 49: Tuesday, September 16, 1980
"The most important thing a parent can teach their children is how to get along without them."
-Frank A. Clark
Hermione sighed in frustration as she shoved her fingers through her hair for what had to be the fiftieth time that afternoon. She was certain if she kept yanking at her scalp, she may actually pull some of her hair from her head. She wondered if stress from research was a cause of thinning in hair, because she could certainly understand if it was.
She had been going through several old archive files that Arthur had brought to the last Order meeting. They were in reference to the disappearance of muggleborns and halfbloods in the last decade, and the circumstances surrounding their abrupt disappearance. Out of the stack of twenty three files, there were only four that could be explained away as the person had simply left the country without giving reason why. However, all twenty three files had been marked as closed cases.
If they were closed, they should have some final report of finding the person, either dead or alive, and noting that in the documents. However, these documents did not mention finding anyone. They simply acknowledged that the person had vanished and marked it closed case.
A handful of the files were people Hermione knew to be associated with the Order in some way— for instance, Robert McKinnon. But there were others that no one seemed to know. No one had heard their names or knew of them at all.
"I can see the smoke coming from your ears," Remus' voice called from the entrance to the kitchen. "Are you still looking over those files?"
"Yeah," Hermione said. "There's just so many of them that aren't making and sense and I can't understand why on earth they would have been marked as a closed case when-
Her ranting was interrupted by Remus' mouth slanting over hers, pressed tightly against her lips, his hands cupping the side of her face. She felt her body nearly melt into him, the tightness in her shoulders fading away and her eyes fluttering shut as his tongue swiped the seam of her mouth, pushing past her lips and teeth to massage her tongue. He pulled away from her, leaving her breathless and slightly dizzyed by the suddenness of the kiss.
"What was that for?" Hermione breathed, her eyes wide as she craned her neck to look up at him.
Remus smirked, "I'm not allowed to come home and kiss my witch?"
"I… I mean… Of course, you are. But that was… That wasn't just a kiss Remus, that was… You just came in and full on snogged me!"
Remus barked a laugh and grabbed her hands, pulling her up from her chair. "Go get dressed, wear something nice. We're going on a proper date tonight."
"A proper… What has gotten into you?" Hermione asked, her eyebrows arched in skepticism.
"We haven't been on a proper date!" Remus said, "It's just hit me this morning."
"Of course we have!" Hermione said, "We've been to Tom's place a few times and-
"While Tom makes the best chips, I've never paid for a meal there. And James cooking for us on Valentine's day doesn't count so don't even bring it up. Come on now, we have reservations in an hour! Go get dressed."
"Reservations?! What on earth? Remus how-
"Go. Get. Dressed. Woman."
Hermione narrowed her eyes at Remus and shook her head before conceding and stalking off toward the bathroom. She took a quick shower and used her wand to dry herself and her hair before stepping into their bedroom to pick through her closet. He had asked her to wear something nice, but then wouldn't tell her where they were going. He had seemed awfully cheerful, far more chipper than he had ever been before without reason. She huffed in irritation. Hermione didn't like surprises. And so far, her time here had been nothing but surprise after surprise, and while they weren't all bad, there was enough that had happened that was, that she had decided she was okay to never be surprised again.
She decided on a light blue sundress with a light cardigan and a pair of heels. She spent a fair few minutes trying to get her hair into a decent state before deciding to leave it alone, with the bit of summer still lingering in the air, it wouldn't matter how much Sleekeazys she used, it would be massive and wild in no time. Instead, she worked a bit of her favorite coconut oil product into it and settled for braiding the front of it out of her face and off to the side. She applied a little mascara and a tinted lip balm and gave herself a once over. Remus had said their Reservation was in an hour, and she was certain it had been close to that amount of time by now.
When she exited the bedroom she found Remus in the living room with a bouquet of flowers, that looked as if they had been picked from the back garden, or perhaps Lily's… His hair was styled in that purposefully tousled way that he had only worn it once before, when she met his parents for the first time, and he was wearing a pair of incredibly new looking trousers and one of his nicer button down shirts.
"Flowers?" Hermione asked, taking the small bouquet and pressing her face into them to smell them.
"A proper date means you get flowers. I'd get you chocolates but I think we both know I'd eat them before they made it to your hands," Remus chuckled.
"I really appreciate all of this, but I don't… What has gotten into you?" Hermione asked, a little concerned that perhaps Sirius had Polyjuiced himself to look like Remus to play some strange prank on them both.
"Let's go to the restaurant, so we aren't late. I'll explain a bit once we're there," he promised.
Hermione quickly arranged the flowers into a vase and set them in the center of the kitchen table and took Remus' outstretched hand. She let him pull her into his side, tightening his arm around her shoulders before apparating the both of them from their small home to the bustling streets of London.
They stepped out of the small alley they had appeared in and Remus took Hermione's hand, guiding her down the footpath past several different shop fronts.
"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Hermione asked.
"It's an Italian place, Lily recommended it. I can't remember the name, if I'm being honest."
"You conspired with Lily?"
He nodded, a smirk playing at his lips, "I did. I've never taken a witch on a proper date before. I needed to do some research."
"Remus, you keep saying a 'proper date', I don't understand what you mean. We've eaten together every night for months. We've gone out a few times, we've-
"No," he interrupted. "I've never taken you a posh restaurant and then to a gelato stand before we go to the cinema together! You know, normal things, that normal couples do."
"We're a witch and a werewolf who began living together not even three months into our relationship," Hermione said, her voice barely above a whisper but she knew Remus could hear her. "I'd hardly say we're a normal couple."
"Exactly," Remus said. "So shouldn't we treat ourselves to at least one normal date?"
Hermione chucked and rolled her eyes as she shook her head, "If it's that important to you-"
"It is."
"...Then fine. I just don't want you to think you have to do something extravagant! Just being with you is enough for me."
"You are more than enough for me, more than I could ever ask for. And you deserve more than just nights in on our sofa reading Transfiguration Today and pulling your damn hair out over research files."
"Remus, I-
"Bloody hell! You are the only woman I have ever met that would fight their boyfriend on being taken out!" Remus laughed, shaking his head. He stooped over and pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her to the side, stopping in front of one of the shops.
Remus grabbed the handle of the door and pulled it open, ushering Hermione in with his hand on the small of her back before bending down a bit to avoid hitting his head on the short frame of the door.
The restaurant was beautiful inside. Dark wood floors that were shiny and clean followed paths to small square tables lined with crisp white tablecloths. Every table had a single red rose in a small vase and two small candles in the center of the table. The lighting was a dim orange glow throughout the dining room and the voices of the guests were soft and muffled as everyone seemed to be whispering their conversations over baskets of fresh bread and glasses of red wine.
"Good evening," the host said from a small stand off to the side just beyond the entrance. "Do you have a reservation?"
"Erm.. yeah. Yeah, I do. It's erm… It's under my name…"
"Your name," the man said, doing a very good job at hiding the chuckle that was straining his voice. "May I have your name, sir?"
"Oh, right. Yeah. Remus Lupin."
Hermione gave Remus an encouraging smile in hopes that it would ease his nerves a bit. He certainly seemed much more confident about this decision before they had walked through the door.
"A very unique name, Mr. Lupin!" The host quipped, a smile on his face. "I originally had you placed at a booth, but taking in your stature, I believe you would be more comfortable at a table. Would it be okay if I made that switch?"
"Wait.. what?"
"I said-
"Excuse me, for interrupting," Hermione said, her smile broadening. "Love, you're extremely tall, so they're going to move our initial table to something that offers more leg room."
"I didn't… I mean, yeah. Yeah that's fine." Remus said, clearly confused as to why he was being told about it.
"If you'd allow me a few moments to ready you a new table, Mr. Lupin?"
"Yeah. Yeah of course."
The host gave a stiff nod, a tight smile and stepped away from the small podium.
"What the hell was that about?" Remus asked, genuinely confused. "They moved our table because I'm tall? Usually I just cram into where they tell me to sit!"
Hermione laughed, "Nicer restaurants will make accommodations for their guests. Have you never been to a posh place before?"
"You have?"
"My parents are dentists," Hermione said. "Dentists tend to be very financially secure. For holiday parties for their office, my parents always took the workers to a very posh dinner. I was allowed to go when I got a little older."
"Shit," Remus breathed. "I didn't realize they had special seating arrangements. And I… I've never been anywhere posh like this, no. My mum sold insurance and my dad worked for the Ministry, and while the Ministry paid well, the insurance didn't. And we moved around a lot when I was young, before I started going to Hogwarts."
"You did?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "Neighbors started to file complaints about the sounds coming from the house once a month…"
Hermione frowned, "I didn't-
"Mr. Lupin, your table is ready, " the host said, appearing again in front of them with two books in his hands. "If you would just follow me this way…"
Remus nodded and snaked his arm around Hermione's waist as they walked forward, following the host to the table. The man sat them at a table in a secluded area of the restaurant, only two other tables occupied near them, each with a couple who looked to be fully consumed in one another. Remus stepped behind Hermione, pulling her chair out for her and giving it a small shove to push her closer to the table before taking his own seat. The host waited patiently, with a pleasant smile on his face, for Remus to take his seat. When he did, he presented Remus with one of the books, turning to give Hermione her own before explaining that their server, Christopher, would be over momentarily.
"When I made the reservation, I asked for a secluded seat," Remus explained. "I thought it'd be easier to talk that way. So we don't have to use code or muffling spells."
"Very clever, Mr. Lupin," Hermione smiled.
Remus returned her smile and opened his menu, muttering a bit to himself as he read through the menu options. Hermione was pleasantly surprised to see the menu bragged a collection of house made pasta and sauces along with several other entree options. It wasn't an extensive menu, but from experience Hermione knew that the finer restaurants rarely had a large menu. They chatted about what to order, decided on a wine and an appetizer by the time Christopher got to the table.
He was a tall, although not as tall as Remus, dark skinned man with full lips that curved in a smile over pearly white, perfectly straight teeth. His white shirt was pressed and fitted and tucked into his black dress slacks, his neck adorned with a bow tie and his hands covered in white gloves. He talked directly to Hermione quite a bit, and she did not miss the way Remus nearly snarled at the man for it. Finally, after taking their order of calamari and promising to return with a bottle of their specialty house red— a sweet red wine with notes of cherry and tobacco, Remus seemed to finally relax again.
"Ponce," he muttered, dipping the fresh bread Christopher had brought to the table, in a mixture of spices, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. "What kind of person hits on another man's girlfriend, so blatantly in front of him?!"
Hermione laughed, dipping her bread as well, "He wasn't hitting on me! It's his job to make me feel good and to make sure I have a good experience."
"You? What about me?"
"Oh, love…" Hermione laughed, "Haven't you learned yet? If I'm having a bad experience, that means you're having a bad experience. Places like this always focus more on the date, ensure they're happy and comfortable to make it a pleasant night for everyone."
When Christopher returned with their wine, Remus seemed to be a little less irritated with the man, understanding now the angle the server was playing to do his job. Hermione could still tell he was frustrated with another man paying compliment to her in front of him, but he kept the snarling to a minimum, which was really all she could ask for.
Once they had eaten their fried calamari and had made it about halfway through the bottle of wine, they placed their orders for their entrees. Remus ordered the Ossobuco with risotto and Hermione decided on the Pappardelle all'anatra. Satisfied that their orders would be absolutely delicious, Hermione finally decided to pry a little further into this very sudden date night from Remus.
"You told me you would explain when we got here, and well, we're here," Hermione said, pressing her lips into a tight line as she stared at him, waiting for him to give an actual answer.
"My grandfather died last week," Remus said.
"Oh my God! Why didn't you-
Remus shook his head, holding his hand up to pause her, "No. He was my father's father and a right bastard. Treated my dad like shit, hated me, hated my mum. He was not a pleasant man. I don't think I've seen him since I was about eight. He found out about…" He looked around his shoulders, checking to make sure the other couples were still consumed with their own conversations and dinners before speaking again, "my lycanthropy, and he cut my dad off for good. But apparently, he left him a bit of money in his will. It wasn't much, but my dad gave me a decent share of it. I wouldn't have the money to ever do anything like this otherwise, and I thought… Well, I thought it would be a good fuck you to Lyall senior for me to use the money to make my stunning girlfriend out on a posh date."
"A fuck you to your dead grand father?" Hermione chuckled, shaking her head.
"Kind of," Remus laughed. "You know, he used his own money to help fund a bill that had it passed, would have barred werewolves from entering any public space? He's a lot of the reason my dad was so ill informed on werewolves, I think. Any rate, when my dad gave me the money he told me I needed to take you on a proper date and thank you for everything you've done for me. So, here we are."
"I'm so sorry you had to deal with that from your own grandfather! That's despicable, honestly. And why would you need to thank me? I haven't done anything!"
"Oh, come on now, Hermione!" Remus said, his mouth twisting up in a small smile, "You know that isn't true. You know if it weren't for you I'd have nothing worth waking up for."
"That's awfully dramatic. You'd still have Sirius and James and Lily and Peter! What about Harry? You love him!"
"I do," Remus agreed. "I love all of them. But not like I love you. You deserve the world—the universe, really. And all I can give you is a posh dinner paid for by my werewolf hating dead grandfather."
Hermione felt her chest tighten a bit as her throat grew thick with emotion. She swallowed and then took a sip of the wine to try and thin a little room in her airway for breath. It was nauseating, really, the way Remus so easily stole the air from her lungs and the beats of her heart. It was unfair that he should be so skilled at making her feel so incredibly important, as if she were the entire center of his universe.
For a long moment, Hermione found herself speechless. A rare thing for her, to not know the words to convey what she was thinking or feeling. But she couldn't focus on anything but the nervous look on Remus' face and the way his eyes stared at her, tracing the planes of her face as if he were committing them to memory. Watching as the mossy green every few breaths, flecked with gold that seemed to radiate and pulse before receding again. She wondered if muggles could tell that his eyes shifted so frequently in colour or if it was simply because she was magical and able to acknowledge the wolf that she could see it happening.
Suddenly, a thought slammed into Hermione's mind. A sudden very expensive dinner at a nice Italian place, Remus' more than usual fidgeting, telling her she deserved the universe… Her stomach clenched uncomfortably.
"Remus, I have to ask you something and… and I… You know I love you, don't you?"
Remus paused, his hand halfway to his mouth, a torn piece of oil soaked bread hanging over the table, "Yes," he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, the legs of the heavy wood dragging across the floor and making a high screeching sound. "Are you… Are you going to break up with me? I mean, if coming to this poncey place is that upsetting we can go to Tom's and-
"No! God, no. I'm not breaking up with you! I just… You aren't… You didn't bring me here to... God, I don't know how to say it so… You didn't bring me here to propose did you?" Hermione asked the question slowly, trying to string together coherent words in a way that wouldn't upset him if he had, in fact, brought her here to ask her hand in marriage.
"What?" Remus said, a little too loudly.
Hermione looked around and noticed the other couples staring at them in distaste, obviously flustered that they had been interrupted in their consumption of one another. Hermione winced and mouthed an apology to the other tables before turning her attention back to a very embarrassed looking Remus.
"I just mean," Hermione pressed on in a fierce whisper. "It was a very sudden date and… This place is expensive, and romantic and… the things you said… That I deserve the universe… well, it sounds an awful lot like the beginnings of a proposal and-
"I'm not proposing marriage, Hermione. But did you want me to?"
That question stopped her dead in her tracks. Did she? Was there some part of her brain that was entertaining the idea of a marriage proposal? No. No that was preposterous! She wasn't dense enough to allude herself into thinking she could accept a marriage proposal from anyone let alone a twenty year old werewolf who was meant to stay in this time when she left it. No. That was ridiculous. She absolutely did not daydream about giving up her life in 2001 to stay here, in this time, with Remus and try to have a happy somewhat normal life once Voldemort was defeated. She absolutely had not thought about the fact that she could be the one to take in Harry and raise him with Remus, in a home filled with love and laughter and all the sweets he could manage to fit in his chubby little mouth.
No.
"Would it be weird if I said yes?" Hermione asked, chewing on her bottom lip as her eyes dropped from his and became very focused on a bit of oregano floating around on the small plate of oil and vinegar.
"You want… Would you have accepted it, had I asked?" Remus said, his voice very low and even, a definite sign that he was trying to control his emotions.
"No," Hermione admitted. "No, I wouldn't have. That's why I was concerned that you were asking. You know I can't-
"I know," Remus said, reaching out to take her hand.
She stared at his hand, pale and scarred as it was, so much larger than her own and at least five times as warm. He wrapped his long fingers around the top of her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and something in gesture that was meant for comfort caused her heart to clench and her eyes to blur.
"If it's any consolation," Remus whispered, forcing her attention up to his eyes once more. "If I knew without a doubt that you could stay here and be mine, I would ask you to marry me every day until you said yes. There is nothing I want more in my life than to spend every waking moment with you, Hermione. But I know you can't do forever, so I won't ask you to."
The hand that wasn't dwarfed in Remus' grip came up to cover her mouth as the tears she had been desperately blinking back spilled over the rim of her eyes and cut wet traces down her cheeks. She sniffled and grabbed the linen napkin from her lap, using it to pat her eyes dry and hoping that her mascara hadn't smudged too terribly.
"If I could," Hermione whispered, her voice still shaking. "I would say yes the first time, so you wouldn't have to ask more than once."
Remus took a deep breath and nodded, responding with a tight lipped smile and his eyes swam with sadness as he squeezed her hand again. Finally, their entrees arrived and while Hermione had lost a bit of her appetite from the heavy conversation that had just taken place, she had never been more thankful to see a plate of pasta in her life.
As they began picking into their meals, the tension seemed to ease and they were able to talk about topics that were much lighter than the ever looming date of departure for Hermione. They talked about trivial things, taking bets on how long it would be before Sirius finally asked to just move back in with James and Lily. The entire point of Remus and Sirius leaving their cottage to find their own places to live was so that James and Lily could spend more one on one time with Harry as a family. However, both Remus and Sirius were over at their house almost daily, a fact that always made Hermione laugh. She was certain Sirius would give up soon and just move back in.
Once they finished their meal (and the bottle of wine they had ordered), they left the restaurant hand in hand, walking through the streets of Muggle London to work off some of the rich food they had consumed. It was interesting, Hermione thought, to look around a part of Muggle London she had spent time in when she was younger and to see the difference in what she had remembered it looking like.
As they walked along the footpath, weaving in and out of the small throngs of tourists and people going home from work, a strange nostalgia fell over Hermione as they rounded a corner and walked further into the shop lined streets. As Remus whistled a low tune, his arm draped over her shoulder as they walked, her arm around his waist. They passed an old telephone box and Hermione stopped in her tracks, nearly causing Remus to stumble.
"What…"
"What neighborhood are we in?" Hermione asked suddenly, already knowing the answer as she stared at the box. Something about it was so ridiculously familiar to her. She couldn't place it, couldn't figure out why it seemed to jog her memory.
"What are you… I- I'm not sure. Hampstead, I think?" Remus answered, his brows furrowed together.
"Hamp… Hampstead?" Hermione stammered, the air suddenly gone from her lungs. She felt nauseous as she looked up and down the street, her stomach rolling as she saw the words on the street sign: Heath Street.
"Yeah, I think so. Are you… You look pale, Hermione. Are you okay? Was it the food? Is it not sitting right? We can go back to the house if you think you're going to be sick I can-
"Thanks, Gene!" A woman said loudly, smiling as she left the business across the street. "You're a life saver! Be sure to give my best to the missus! And give a Happy Birthday to that daughter of yours from us!"
"Will do, Peg! And you know we'd always stay open for you! Helen would have my head if I didn't! Oh! We're having a small party for Hermione this weekend! Please come! And bring Richard with you and your little ones as well!"
"I'll ring you and let you know! Thanks again!"
Hermione watched the interaction her eyes wide, her breath coming in sharp as she stared at the man who was currently locking up the front door of Granger Dental and smiling brightly to anyone who passed. Her hand flew out and gripped Remus' forearm, her nails digging into his flesh through his pressed button down as she tried to remember how to breathe.
"Remus," Hermione said, her voice coming out on a breath. "Remus that's my dad! That's my dad!"
"I heard the conversation," Remus said, quietly. "Are you okay?"
"I haven't seen my parents in five years," she whispered, trying with everything in her to keep her breath even to keep from breaking down into sobs.
"Come on," Remu said, gripping her hand and pulling her across the street.
"What?! Remus, no! No! I can't… I don't know… What if it messes something up?! I can't-
Still, her feet moved as Remus pulled her across the street. He stopped just in front of Gene Granger, blocking his path slightly as he tried to walk. "Excuse me, sir, I'm sorry to bother you," Remus began.
Hermione's father stopped walking and looked up at Remus, smiling politely. "No problem at all, how can I help you?"
"I've just seen you come out of that Dental building," Remus said. Hermione was shocked by the lack of stammer or confusion in his voice. He sounded every bit of a confident, sure man as he began talking to her father. "And you see, I've never been to a dentist before and I wondered if you might be able to tell me if they're good there?"
"Oh my! You've never seen… Oh you must make an appointment right away! You know, it's important to go at least twice a year for a proper cleaning and exam! Tell me Mister…
"Lupin."
"Lupin, do you eat a lot of sweets or consume a lot of acidic foods?"
"Oh I eat an ungodly amount of chocolate," Remus said.
The look on Gene Granger's face was one of pure horror and Hermione couldn't help but laugh. At the sound of her laughter, he turned a bit and looked at Hermione, doing a double take and narrowing his eyes at her.
"You… You could be a doppelganger for my wife!" He said, surprise peppering his tone as he smiled, "Do you see a dentist?"
"I have been to the dentist many times," she said, trying to keep the heartbreak from her voice. "It was ingrained in me as a child. Brush after every meal, floss twice a day, watch your sweets and acids…"
"Your parents knew what they were talking about!" He mused, "Are you from around here?"
"I-
"Wales," Remus answered, trying to keep Hermione from having to answer an extremely painful question. "Just moved in from Wales."
"Ah! A Welshman! I thought I detected a slight accent there!"
Remus smiled brightly, "Very slight I hope. I have worked hard to sound more like my father than my mother, can barely understand a word from her half the time."
Gene laughed and stuck his hand out between them, "Doctor Gene Granger, D.D.S at your service, Mr. Lupin."
"Remus Lupin," Remus said, shaking his hand.
He held his hand out to her Hermione and she hesitated, her breath hitching as Remus gave her an almost imperceptible nudge, "Erm… Lily Evans."
"Remus and Lily! What a lovely couple to have run into!" He said, smiling again and showing off his dazzling straight teeth. He dug into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, from within he pulled a business card and handed it to Remus. "I'm afraid I must get going! My daughter turns one in just three days and I must get home to help my wife get a few things ready around the house for her party. Please call the number on the back, I'd love to talk with you again and get you in my chair!"
"Sounds great, mate! Thanks!"
"You're very welcome! Have a wonderful evening!"
"Dr Granger- one more question if I might ask?" Hermione said, stopping him before he could walk away. "You see, a dear friend of ours just had their first child and I wonder what advice you might give them?"
He smiled, "Tell them to make sure to tell their child they love them every single day. A thousand times a day, if they must. The world is hard enough, they should always know that they are loved. I swear I tell Hermione I love her at least thirty times an hour."
Hermione nodded, her throat constricting as her eyes began to burn. "You love your daughter very much."
"More than anything," he said. "I would do anything for that sweet little girl, hopefully one day she'll know that."
"I'm sure she will."
"I'm sorry, but I really must get going. It was nice to meet you both! Hopefully I'll see you in my chair soon!" With that, Dr. Eugene Granger D.D.S stepped past them and hurried off down the road. When he turned past the corner Hermione heaved a deep breath and collapsed onto the bench a few feet away in tears. To hear her name spoken from her father's lips, to feel his hand against hers again, his voice saying he loved her… She hadn't realized how much she needed to see him until now. And as her heart slowly unclenched and her sobs turned to sniffles, she clung to Remus tightly.
"Take me home," she whispered. "Please, Remus. I want to go home."
.
.
A/N: Hey all, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry it's much later in the day than usual, had some stuff going on.
xo
