Tales of the Falls
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
Wicked.A: right back at you, merry Christmas
RasenganFin: It's about to get worse...
Gamelover41592: yep
Zoryan El Muerto:
NyaNyaKittyFace: Speak and I'll put in a good word for you...
...III...
Mary walked through the pre-assembled Woodstick stadium...thinking about the conversation she'd had with her daughter earlier...
...earlier...
"Oh Danny is a lamb!"
"With you mom! Anyone else he's a hulking mass of muscles that can and will crush a beer keg on his forehead. If dad finds out Dipper saw you naked, fresh out of the shower, he will kill him! Mom I lo- really like him!"
Wendy starts crying and throws herself into her moms arms and they reconcile before remembering Mary is still naked and awkwardly gets her a modesty Towel.
...
Mary is broken from her thoughts as the naked bodies of her daughter and the daughter of her rich friend run past her chasing the equally naked Tambry.
Mary just shrugs this off as 'Usual Gravity Falls weirdness' and turns to an equally nonchalant Priscilla who also brushes off the scene as she shows up. She then turns to Mary and Asks: "wanna get drunk?"
"Does a bear crap in the woods?"
...
"Candy, leave me alone!" Screamed a naked Dipper as he fled Candy.
GIVE ME BABIES SEMPAI!
Screamed the love-sick and naked Candy.
For those just tuning in, Dipper- thanks to various elixirs he'd experimented on -was(among other things) immune to the love potion. Candy, was not...and the attempted to ravish him...Dipper was able to escape...at the expense of his modesty...
The People of Gravity Falls were sorta used this thing by now- well, Dipper's 'thing' anyway.
"Looking good hot stuff!"
"How's your 'third leg' doing Dr. Funtime!?"
"Where you thinking of planting that 'mighty oak' next, sexy?"
"Shake that foot-long sausage you naughty thing!"
"Do the helicopter! Do the helicopter!"
"Up periscope? More like up Washington monument!"
Dipper went bright red from these comments...and from the rear slaps, rear pinches, and pictures that were taken of him. You'd think he'd be used to this by now...but it was still embarrassing...
...although...the breeze was nice...
In any case, when it looked like he'd lost her for the second, he jumped into a barrel to hide...
...Only to find an equally naked Tambry already hiding in there...
The naked and awkward adolescents blushed at the sight of each other...
Tambry had seen Dipper naked before- like a crazy amount of times -but this was the first time she'd been naked with him, add in the fact she knew her best friend had a thing for him...very awkward situation...
And Dipper just knew that the sexy best friend of his crush was in a confined space with his equally naked self...also awkward...
They try to lighten the situation by both nervously compliment the others assets.
"Nice Bazooka there Dipper."
"Nice Torpedoes Tambers."
Anyone else had call her that, she'd be ticked...but he'd kinda earned it, saving her and Wendy so many times...plus hearing this surprisingly studly kid say that nickname...kinda flattering really...
With the ice broken, they gradually have a conversation...with no other real connection they begin to discuss Wendy and Tambry tells Dipper how Wendy saw the funniest cute boy when they were little, and despite how funny he was the boy was the most impressive guy she ever met...
Dippers thinking 'yeah that's me after a time travel bungle stripped naked and forced to walk around town with my Bazooka hanging out. I felt so ashamed nakedly bumping into the little girl form of the woman I love.'
While he was thinking this Tambry notices that while Dippers is blushing...he wasn't getting hard.
Bazooka isn't ready to fire he looks at her blushing but isn't getting harder he says
"Hey, funtime. What's wrong with your bazoka? You forget to polish it? I looks limp." She teased.
Dipper went even redder, "I guess I have a type, you're just not it. I'm sorry Tambry."
"It's okay Dr Funtimes. I just figured any guy would be excited to see any girl naked."
"Certainly not Grenda. But I like really nice girls with certain hair colors, and freckles. Plus Grenda could break my bones. I should know I was in her body during an experiment for about 5 minutes, I grabbed a chair and splintered it in a heartbeat."
Tambry nodded but then adjusted her legs as they were falling asleep-
And accidentally gave Dipper proof that her purple hair was completely natural-
SPROING!
CRACK!
Which evidently, was just what Dipper needed to put the 'fire' in his 'Bazooka', Tambry couldn't help but laugh as Dipper's erection broke right through the barrel-
BUMP!
Said laugh turns to a shriek as Dipper's bulge pushes the barrel away from the wall and causes it to fall over and roll down the street with incresing speed-
CRACK!
GAH!
OW!
WHY!?
Which was really bad for Dipper since the tip of his junk was outside of the barrel and kept getting whacked by the pavement...
Tambry just clung to a now sobbing Dipper for dear life...
Oh, and Toby finally found his sock...
...IIIā¦...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!
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