I arrived back at the hotel around 9pm with plans to meet up with Ian in the hotel lobby in the morning. We would get coffee at 7:30am and then I would shadow him all day, to get an idea of what I will be doing on a daily basis. It should not be too different from my previous posts but I have a feeling I'll need lots of coffee.

I took a longer-than-expected hot shower and got ready for bed. I was not surprised by how quickly I fell asleep, given how tired I was. However, I was surprised to find myself dreaming.

I was standing on the sidewalk right outside the entrance to Amberwood's main building. Across from me, I noticed that the parking lot was empty.

"Sage."

I turned around, startled.

Adrian.

He was standing in front of Amberwood's entrance in the most wrinkled shirt I had ever seen him wear. He had bags under his eyes and was looking at me with a frown.

My heart sped up and felt like it was breaking all at the same time.

"Sage?" He said as he took a tentative step towards me.

Automatically, I took a step back.

His frown deepened.

I couldn't speak. I was frozen in place and held there by his gaze.

"Why?" He pleaded.

I'm in a spirit dream.

"You know why." I said, finally looking away.

"No, actually, I don't. Does this actually scare you so much that you thought the answer would be to just run away?"

I had no answer for him and was trying to wake myself up to end the dream. I had no desire to talk about this anymore, especially with Adrian.

"Stop that." He said in a more steady voice.

My head snapped in his direction.

"You think I can't tell when someone's trying to wake themselves up?" He crossed his arms over his chest, which only highlighted the fact that there were stains on one of his shirt sleeves.

"I don't want to talk, Adrian."

"So, I'm just supposed to accept the fact that you chose to leave instead of-"

"Instead of what?" I interrupted, my voice increasing. I was growing more frustrated by the second. "What did you think was going to happen, Adrian? Did you think that you would kiss me and then we'd live happily ever after? That's not how any of this works, especially for me! You're royal and get to go back home to your normal life when the mission is over, but I would have been shipped to re-education at the first inclination that I was anything more than a professional with anyone within the group. I saw what that did to Keith and refuse to allow that to happen to me. I have a duty to my people, to humanity and to myself. None of it includes making mistakes that could cost me my sanity."

"Sydney-"

"I just want to be left alone." I said, as firmly as I could.

I tried not to be affected by his use of my first name.

He looked at a loss for words. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Please, Adrian," I pleaded. I was tired and could tell he was too. Unlike him, though, I just wanted to leave everything behind in Palm Springs and never discuss it again.

After a few seconds, he slowly nodded. "Okay." He started to dissolve the dream. "I'll give you some time but we need to talk about-"

"Please don't ever try to contact me again," I interrupted.

As the dream vanished around me, the last thing I saw was shock and pain in Adrian's eyes. I woke up feeling out of breath, with an ache in my chest, and the urge to cry for the first time in a very long time.