Tales of the Falls
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
RasenganFin: I like it, I'll slip it in next chapter.
contrast: ...not really.
NyaNyaKittyFace: Wow...can't really do that in this story...another story on the other hand...
The Howling Behemoth: 1: ...I have no idea how to do that... 2. thank you
...III...
While Mary and Priscilla were drinking... "Hey, how come you never had more kids?" Asks Mary.
Priscilla replies that she isn't as tough as Mary is- having 4 kids by Manly Dan proves it. Just having Pacifica was rough on her, and she pities the hooha of their friend Lilly for having Dipper and Mabel... especially Mabel.
After downing more alcohol she admits that she's considered more children... but is afraid that with Pacifica's rebellious attitude towards Preston lately that Preston would cut her off from the will immediately...before then training their new child to be as much of a jerk he is.
By not having more kids Pacifica stays in the will and is the only hope for the Northwest family- Priscilla then gets chills saying that and downs more hooch to get the taste out of her mouth...
...
Dipper whimpers...his poor balls and bazooka...they'd been all messed up and bleeding. and because his hands got jammed in the barrel as it smashed on the pavement...Tambry had to bandage it herself with some improvised rags...this would be awkward enough...however thanks to the 'sneak peaks' of her 'hidden purple garden'...his bazooka kept going to full mast which made the bleeding worse!
A flustered Tambry tries to suggest that they dodge their chasers by going into the sewers but Dipper protests "With my junk all scuffed and bleeding, I'm likely to get infected down there, I don't want it to be amputated!"
Tambry mumbles quietly, "yeah neither does Wendy..."
So they keep to the Shadows...
"This would be easier if we at least had clothes, we need to find somewhere that-
CRACK!
Tambry looks behind her in shock seeing Dipper just knock down an oblivious Robbie from behind, "What? He was a jerk, he had it coming." Said Dipper as pulled the hoodie off to wear and takes Robbie's belt to fasten his bazooka up against his chest so its not hanging out.
Dipper then pulls out Robbie's Wallet and asks Tambry for her clothes size before going to retrieve her a shirt and pants from a vendor. When Tambry asked why they sold to a kid wearing nothing but an oversized hoodie Dipper just shrugged, "They're Fair Vendors, I had Cash. This isn't a rare occurrence for them for some odd reason."
HEY!
They look over and see Wendy and Pacifica run toward Tambry, lust making their eyes wild-
Unfortunately, their need for stealth had them had in a dead-end back alley, Tambry throws herself against the wall in fear...which causes Dipper to once again get a god look at her 'garden' which-
POP!
RIP!
Dipper once more cried in pain as his mighty bazooka snapped the belt in two and broke free...as well as more of his blood...
At the sight of a VERY familiar anatomy from the man they REALLY loved...both girls snapped right out of the spell, "What the...were we...were we trying to-
"I'm so sorry Dipper! I don't know what came over us!" They try to run to Dipper, forcing him to shout out- "NO HUGS!" Which both girls are confused and saddened by, but Tambry quickly explains its for his own health which they understand...
LOVE ME SEMPAI!
Shouts a still love struck Candy as she runs out of the darkness to a surprised Dipper-
WHACK!
-And right into Mary Corduroy's frying pan. "Right, that's enough of that..." Picks up Candy's unconscious form while she spits on the ground... "Let's go chew out your bitch sister..."
...
Mary finds and quickly slurs angrily at Mabel. Saying that her mother Lilly is almost exactly like her but she would never once try to separate friends for such a petty reason.
Mabel retorts that Dipper won't spend any time with her and he's been distant with her ever since the fair.
Mary then asks her if she's done anything to make Dipper not want to spend time with her. Mabel thinks and remembers stuff... but she dismisses it saying that Dipper always comes back to her.
That's when Mary drops the truth bomb: that Mrs Pines sent them up for Dipper to make friends and for Mabel to learn to do stuff without Dipper and be responsible...
Mable is stunned by that...which gives Mary the opportunity she needs to strip her naked. For that's her punishment, she can still go to the Lovestick festival...but she has to do so nude...
A mortified Mable pleads for lenience...but she get's no sympathy...
The only one who sides with her is Candy. She understands that Mabel meant well but things went awry... also she's still attracted to Dipper after seeing his angry attitude and bulge for the first time but she keeps that to herself.
Wendy ghas a quick chat with Tambry.
"So...you were naked with Dipper for awhile..."
"Relax Wendy, he's cute...but his life is too crazy for me...also not a huge fan of the nudity. He's all your's."
Wendy smiles as she and her friends go to rock out at the festival...
...Meanwhile...
Preston smirks, "Won't be long now..." He looks up at a strange tapestry depicting a demonic Triangle, "Soon, everything will be mine once more..."
...IIIā¦...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!
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