Tales of the Falls
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
RasenganFin: (shrug) Why not?
Wicked.A: You should!
The Howling Behemoth: thank you
Guest: Pretty sure your a hacker, but thanks for the reviews!
...III...
And so we let the commoners in at the beginning of the party, the ghost of Mary's ancestor was appeased and now we can all just have fun." Said Priscillia.
"And your husband was okay with that?" Asked Soos surprised as he stuffed his face with cream puffs.
Priscilla frowned, "Actually...he just shrugged it off indifferently...it was weird, I was expecting this huge argument...but he just...didn't seem to care...come to think of it..." She looked around, "That was over a week ago and I haven't seen him since...where is he?"
She shrugged, "Never mind, he's probably just sulking somewhere. I'll deal with it later if I have to." She turns to Soos, "What I'd like to know is why Dipper didn't show up...Pacifica and Wendy have been quite sad because of it..."
Soos looked at her surprised, "Oh, you didn't know? a week ago they went on a trip through the woods, and Dipper had his balls and dick ripped out."
Priscilla's cries of surprised alarm deafened many...
...
"DIPPER! NO!" Shouted a naked and mortally wounded Pacifica and Wendy. They'd been badly thrashed by the giant monster that used to be Dipper genitals, now transformed by GF magic into this grotesque abomination!
"That thing is psionically linked to your wound! If you destroy it, it'll be impossible for your genitals to be repaired or replaced in any form without mystic backlash!" Shouted the girls!
Dipper, wearing noting but a bandage to seal the gaping hole whole where his manhood once rested simply shrugged as he pointed the bazooka at the snarling beast that was once the most revered part of his anatomy-
"I'd rather be a virgin the rest of my life...then let your girls die-
BOOM!
...
Dipper woke up with a start...he looked down on himself...sighed...then went to empty the catheter that be what allowed him to go to the bathroom from now on...
...
"Why did we come here? How can we even think about partying while Dipper is depressed?" Asked Wendy outloud.
Pacifica sighed, "I thought he'd come...but yeah, your right. Without him I can't muster any enthusiasm for any of this, and with Mable and her friends fighting over a boy- or not fighting over a boy? Pretending to not fight over a boy- Whatever, it's so stupid I couldn't bother to hear all the details..."
Wendy just shook her head at that, "Yeah...let's just...let's just go. I don't care what the journal say's, there HAS to be a way to reverse Dipper being a eunuch."
They begin to leave the party-
BOOM!
A giant tree broke from the ground of the mansion, "Leaving so soon?!" Asked Preston Northwest triumphantly as he stood on top of it, "But the party has only just started! Besides, darling daughter...don't you want to meet your great, great, great, grandfather?" He asked with a smile.
The face of Nathaniel Northwest- permanently burnt into the mighty oaks visage -snarled.
HOW DARE YOU BRING COMMONERS INTO THIS MOST HALLOWED GROUND!?
Wendy had already sent the text message while Preston was yammering; "Dipper, were in trouble. Come help us, please."
...
His funk forgotten, Dipper ignored the pain...and went to save his girls...
...IIIā¦...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!
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